Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e55 Episode Script
Heathcliff Surprise!/The Big Break In
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
HEATHCLIFF?
A FEW MORE STEPS,
AND BREAKFAST IS SERVED.
NO EMPTIES, NO REFILLS.
HUH?
WAIT A COTTON-PICKING MINUTE!
Heathcliff:
HEE HEE HEE!
HEATHCLIFF!
[BRAKES SCREECH]
YOU KNOW THE RULES,
HEATHCLIFF--
NO EMPTIES, NO MILK!
[MEOW]
WHAT A WAY TO STAR
MY BIRTHDAY!
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
MAKING SUCH A FUSS
OVER THAT LITTLE
TROUBLEMAKER.
NOW, DON'T BE
A SPOILSPORT!
HEATHCLIFF IS LIKE
A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.
WHO EVER HEARD
OF A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR A CAT?
IT'S GOING TO BE
THE SOCIAL EVENT OF THE YEAR.
I JUST HOPE EVERYONE
CAN KEEP A SECRET.
Heathcliff:
ALL NIGH
RIGGING THE NET,
AND WHAT DO I
HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT?
ZILCH!
OOH!
OOH! UH!
[HISS]
[BONK]
WE'LL TELL HIM
WE WON'T BE BACK
UNTIL NIGHTFALL.
AS LONG AS HE DOESN'
STAY AROUND THE HOUSE
WHEN WE'RE GETTING
READY FOR THE PARTY.
HE'LL JUST GET INTO
TROUBLE, AS USUAL.
HEATHCLIFF IS A GOOD CAT.
SOMETIMES I THINK
YOU LOVE THAT RASCAL
MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME!
SHH!
HE'S COMING.
Grandpa:
MR. PERSONALITY
MAKES HIS ENTRANCE.
I THINK I'M GOING TO NEED
BREAKFAST IN BED.
SEE YOU LATER,
HEATHCLIFF.
I'M SPENDING THE DAY
OVER AT WILLIE'S.
[MEOW]
I KNOW.
TODAY IS SATURDAY.
WILLIE AND I ARE DOING
A SCIENCE PROJECT FOR SCHOOL.
RIGHT! WILLIE'S MOM IS
ALLERGIC TO CAT FUR.
SORRY YOU CAN'T COME.
HAVE A NICE DAY,
HEATHCLIFF!
IGGY FORGO
MY BIRTHDAY.
OW! OOW!
OW! OHH!
OUT!
DARN CAT!
WHAT WAS
ALL THAT RACKET?
Grandma: POOR BABY.
YOU'RE HUNGRY.
I'VE GOT SOME NICE
DRY CAT FOOD FOR YOU.
YICK!
WHERE IS
THAT SCOUNDREL?
IT'S GETTING LATE.
WE BETTER GET GOING.
Grandma: YOU CAN'T COME
WITH US, HEATHCLIFF.
WE'RE GOING TO VISI
AUNT MARY IN THE HOSPITAL.
AND THEY DON'T ALLOW
ANIMALS IN HOSPITALS.
NOW GET OUT!
YOU WON'T HAVE ANY FUN
WITHOUT ME.
[COUGH COUGH]
[COUGH COUGH]
NO RESPECT.
MARCIE!
IT'S GOING TO BE
THE BEST PARTY!
EVERYONE'S COMING.
I JUST HOPE HEATHCLIFF
DOESN'T FIND OUT.
THAT WOULD RUIN
THE SURPRISE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
GUESS WHO.
[MUFFLED]
MEOW!
HEATHCLIFF! WHA
A PLEASANT SURPRISE.
UH, BUT I'M NO
FEELING WELL,
SO I CAN'T PLAY
WITH YOU TODAY.
I'M NOT FEELING
SO GREAT MYSELF.
HMM!
YUCK!
[PFFT PFFT]
IT'S SOUR!
[STOMACH GROWLS]
YEAH, DON'T WORRY, FRIEND.
I'M WORKING ON IT.
HOW'S FRESH FISH SOUND?
WHAT THE
OH, NO! THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN A DISASTER AT SEA.
I'M STARVING!
WE GOT TO GET THIS
TO HEATHCLIFF FOR
HIS SURPRISE PARTY.
WHY?
WANT TO LIVE TO SEE
YOURNEXT BIRTHDAY?
THAT'S WHY!
HEATHCLIFF!
HIDE THE STUFF.
HUH? HMM.
[WHISTLING]
HI, BIG GUY!
INVADING MY TURF, HUH?
OH, NO.
WE JUST GOT HERE.
SOMEONE HAS GONE
THROUGH THE SCRAPS WITH
A FINE-TOOTH COMB.
RATS, PERHAPS?
I SMELL A RAT, ALL RIGHT,
AND THE WIND IS COMING
FROM YOUR DIRECTION!
HEATHIE! BUDDY!
CALM DOWN!
YOU'RE TOO COOL
TO BE CRUEL.
NOBODY CALLS ME
HEATHIE!
MISS SONIA DOES.
SHE'S NOT NOBODY.
SHE'S SOMEBODY!
LATER.
HEY, HOW ABOUT A STROLL
ALONG THE RIVERBANK,
BLUE EYES?
IF ONLY I COULD.
I HAVE AN APPOINTMEN
AT THE BEAUTY PARLOR
TODAY.
UH, WHAT ABOUT A LITTLE
ROMANTIC DINNER AND DANCING
LATER TONIGHT, HUH?
UH, I CAN'T TONIGHT,
HEATHIE.
I HAVE AUH
A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT.
ANOTHER ENGAGEMENT?
WITH WHOM?
I CAN'T SAY.
BUT TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!
I TOTALLY FORGOT!
YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN
TOTALLY FORGET ABOU
HAVING ME TO PUSH AROUND!
I'M HISTORY TO YOU!
OH! HA!
SONIA'S TWO-TIMING ON ME,
BUT WITH WHOM?
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT GUY,
HE'LL WISH HE WAS NEVER BORN!
TONIGHT'S
THE BIG NIGHT!
I HOPE HE APPRECIATES
ALL THE TROUBLE
WE'RE GOING THROUGH.
DO SOMETHING TO STASH THE GIFT!
HEATHCLIFF'S COMING!
SO, TONIGHT'S
THE BIG NIGHT, HUH?
WHO'S THE MEANIE
WHO SPILLED THE BEANIES?
YEAH. IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A SECRET!
THERE ARE NO SECRETS
ON MY TURF!
WHAT DO YOU GOT BEHIND
YOUR BACK, MONGO?
VERY NICE. A PRESENT.
WELL, NOBODY'S GETTING
THIS PRESENT!
[HISSING AND SNARLING]
IF YOU EVEN
LOOK AT SONIA,
I'LL MAKE SURE YOU
NEVER WALK AGAIN!
WHAT'S HE
TALKING ABOUT?
IF I KNEW, I WOULDN'T BE
BLACK AND BLUE!
YOU'RE AN HOUR
TOO LATE, KID.
YOUR PAPA'S
ESCAPED AGAIN.
WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY
EVERYONE WANTS TO BE,
THEN I'LL JUS
LEAVE TOWN--
GO SOMEWHERE WHERE
I'LL BE APPRECIATED!
HE'S COMING!
THEY'LL ALL BE SORRY WHEN
THEY WON'T HAVE ME AROUND!
All: SURPRISE!
OHH
UH
GEEHA HA!
THANKS, GUYS!
YOU DESERVE IT.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
HEATHCLIFF!
WHOA!
[ALL LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
AHA!
[GULP]
All: FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
[SLURP]
[GULP]
NOW, THIS IS WHAT I CALL
A TASTY ENDING.
HEE HEE HOO HOO HOO!
I'M GOING TO SEE FOR MYSELF
IF THESE RUMORS ARE TRUE.
A BUNCH OF NEW CATS
INVADING MY TURF!
I DON'T CARE HOW TOUGH
AND UGLY THESE NEW CATS ARE,
NOBODY MESSES WITH
RIFF RAFF!
NOW WE'LL SEE ABOUT THESE
CATS CRASHING ONTO MY TURF!
HUH?
[GIGGLING]
All: MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW.
MEOW
[SINGS OFF-KEY]
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
YOU GOT A TIN EAR
OR SOMETHING?
IF YOU WANT TO SING
AND USE THAT THROAT,
TRY AT LEAST TO HI
THE RIGHT NOTE!
HA HA HA HA!
[FEMALE CATS GIGGLING]
[SINGING OFF-KEY]
ALL RIGHT!
THAT'S ENOUGH OU
OF YOU TWO LOWLIFES.
I DREAM OF KITTIES
WITH THE SOFT WHITE FUR ♪
QUIET DOWN THERE!
SHOO! GO AWAY!
Riff Raff: HA HA HA!
WHAT A LAUGH!
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
WHAT YOU DO FOR AN ENCORE.
WHO SAID THAT?
LET ME AT HIM!
UHHECTOR
Riff Raff:
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, YOU MUGS!
LET'S GIVE ME SOME ROOM.
SO, YOU STRUCK OUT WITH
THE LADIES, EH, HECTOR?
YEAH? WELL, YOU SEE,
IT'S LIKE THIS. I--
DUHCAN YOU DO
ANY BETTER?
SURE CAN,
MONGO.
YOUSE TWO JUS
WAIT HERE AND WATCH
WHILE I GE
INSIDE THAT HOUSE
AND HAVE ALL THOSE
CUTIES TO MYSELF.
[BUZZ BUZZ]
[CAT SIGHS]
[GIGGLES]
OH! ANOTHER TOMCAT, EH?
WELL, SHOO!
YOU'RE NOT WELCOME
IN THIS HOUSE!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NOW NOTHING IS GOING TO
KEEP ME OUT OF THAT HOUSE!
NOTHING!
THIS IS THE LIFE.
AHH!
Riff Raff:
HEY, LEROY!
[GRR]
HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
MY DROPPING IN LIKE
THIS, BONE-BREATH.
YOU JUST DROPPED INTO
BIG TROUBLE, FURBALL.
HUH?
HEY!
SORRY YOU HAVE TO BE
ROLLING ALONG SO SOON!
I'LL GET YOU
F-F-FOR TH-TH-THIS!
HE'S SUCH A CRASHING BORE.
OH, WELL.
TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK.
THIS LOOKS PROMISING!
PERFECT!
Hector: HA! DO YOU
BELIEVE THAT GUY?
"NOW NOTHING'S GOING TO
KEEP ME OUT OF THAT HOUSE!
NOTHING!"
[ALL LAUGH]
WHOA!
HA HA HA!
WHAT A LOON!
WHAT A MAROON!
[BOUNCING]
[CATS GIGGLING]
HEE HEE HEE!
HA HA HA!
JUST A FEW MORE
INCHES, LADIES.
JUST A FEW MORE!
EXCUSE ME, KITTIES.
I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS RUG.
[COUGH COUGH]
OH, NO!
HA HA HA!
NOTHING'S GOING TO KEEP ME
OUT OF THERE. NOTHING!
[BUZZ]
MY, MY! LOOK WHAT SOMEONE
HAS LEFT ON MY DOORSTEP--
A LITTLE BITTY BABY!
YES, GATHER ROUND
AND SEE WHAT I HAVE.
[MEOW]
[MEOW]
[MEOW]
NOW, YOU BE NICE
TO THE LITTLE TYKE WHILE
I GO FETCH SOME MILK.
[GIGGLING]
MY, WHA
A FELINE HUNK!
SO! CAN'T PU
ANYTHING OVER ON ME,
YOU BAD CAT!
[MEOW]
OH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NOTHING--I REPEAT,
NOTHING'S GOING TO STOP ME
FROM GETTING INTO
THAT HOUSE!
HUH?
HUH?
HEY! WATCH I
UP THERE!
BRR! SEEMS TO BE GETTING
CHILLY IN HERE.
THERE! THAT SHOULD
WARM THINGS UP A BIT.
HEY! WHAT'S COOKING?
MEEE--
YOW!
OHHHH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
YOU SEE THAT?
WHAT A KLUTZ!
WHAT DID YOU SAY,
HECKIE-WECKIE?
Hector:
UHHEH HEH!
JUST KIDDING,
OLD BUDDY.
OH, YEAH?
WELL, I'M NOT!
IN FACT, MAYBE I
CAN USE YOU GUYS.
YEAH. WHY NOT?
HEH HEH!
UH, SURE, RIFF RAFF.
WH-WHAT YOU
WANT US TO DO?
[BUZZ]
JUST A MOMENT!
YES? WHAT CAN I
DO FOR YOU?
UH
[MEOW]
WHAT? HMM
WHAT'S GOING ON?
HEH HEH HEH HEH!
SHOO!
GO AWAY!
YOU OPEN UP IN THERE!
DO YOU HEAR ME?
OPEN UP RIGHT NOW!
WHAT DO YOU SAY THERE,
LADIES?
THE NAME'S RIFF RAFF.
[GIGGLING]
NO NEED TO CROWD, GIRLS.
OK. WHERE DO YOU WANT ME
TO START, LADIES?
WANT TO HEAR ABOU
SOME OF MY EXPLOITS, HUH?
HEY, THERE'S
ENOUGH TO GO AROUND!
OUCH!
OH! I THINK
I GOT WOMAN TROUBLES!
OH, BABY!
LET ME AT HIM!
LATER, LADIES!
HE CAN'T GE
AWAY FROM US!
TRAPPED!
[CHANTING]
RIFF RAFF! RIFF RAFF!
RIFF RAFF! RIFF RAFF!
[RIFF RAFF
YELLS LIKE TARZAN]
SORRY, LADIES, BUT THERE CAN
BE TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.
[GIGGLING]
RIFF RAFF!
RIFF RAFF!
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
All: OH, RIFF RAFF!
[SADLY]
OH, RIFF RAFF
DID YOU SEE THAT?
NOW, THERE'S SOME CAT!
YEAH. WHAT A GUY!
WHAT A GUY!
OH, SHUT UP!
OH, RIFF RAFF!
WHY, YOU TWO-TIMER!
YOUYOU THREE-TIMER!
OR IS IT FOUR?
OR--OH!
BUT--BUT--BUT--
WELL, YOU CAN'
HAVE EVERYTHING!
OR CAN YOU?
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
WHEN YOU FEED YOUR HAMSTER, FEED
HIM AT THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY.
PREFERABLY EVENING.
HAMSTERS LOVE CORN, OATS, WHEAT,
BARLEY, EVEN RABBIT PELLETS.
OCCASIONALLY FEED HIM FRESH
GREENS.
LETTUCE, CARROTS, DANDELIONS,
EVEN WATERMELLON RIND.
HUNGRY LITTLE CRITTER, ISN'T HE?
CAPTIONING
MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL
AND U.S. DEPARTMEN
OF EDUCATION
CAPTIONING
PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
HEATHCLIFF?
A FEW MORE STEPS,
AND BREAKFAST IS SERVED.
NO EMPTIES, NO REFILLS.
HUH?
WAIT A COTTON-PICKING MINUTE!
Heathcliff:
HEE HEE HEE!
HEATHCLIFF!
[BRAKES SCREECH]
YOU KNOW THE RULES,
HEATHCLIFF--
NO EMPTIES, NO MILK!
[MEOW]
WHAT A WAY TO STAR
MY BIRTHDAY!
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
MAKING SUCH A FUSS
OVER THAT LITTLE
TROUBLEMAKER.
NOW, DON'T BE
A SPOILSPORT!
HEATHCLIFF IS LIKE
A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.
WHO EVER HEARD
OF A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR A CAT?
IT'S GOING TO BE
THE SOCIAL EVENT OF THE YEAR.
I JUST HOPE EVERYONE
CAN KEEP A SECRET.
Heathcliff:
ALL NIGH
RIGGING THE NET,
AND WHAT DO I
HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT?
ZILCH!
OOH!
OOH! UH!
[HISS]
[BONK]
WE'LL TELL HIM
WE WON'T BE BACK
UNTIL NIGHTFALL.
AS LONG AS HE DOESN'
STAY AROUND THE HOUSE
WHEN WE'RE GETTING
READY FOR THE PARTY.
HE'LL JUST GET INTO
TROUBLE, AS USUAL.
HEATHCLIFF IS A GOOD CAT.
SOMETIMES I THINK
YOU LOVE THAT RASCAL
MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME!
SHH!
HE'S COMING.
Grandpa:
MR. PERSONALITY
MAKES HIS ENTRANCE.
I THINK I'M GOING TO NEED
BREAKFAST IN BED.
SEE YOU LATER,
HEATHCLIFF.
I'M SPENDING THE DAY
OVER AT WILLIE'S.
[MEOW]
I KNOW.
TODAY IS SATURDAY.
WILLIE AND I ARE DOING
A SCIENCE PROJECT FOR SCHOOL.
RIGHT! WILLIE'S MOM IS
ALLERGIC TO CAT FUR.
SORRY YOU CAN'T COME.
HAVE A NICE DAY,
HEATHCLIFF!
IGGY FORGO
MY BIRTHDAY.
OW! OOW!
OW! OHH!
OUT!
DARN CAT!
WHAT WAS
ALL THAT RACKET?
Grandma: POOR BABY.
YOU'RE HUNGRY.
I'VE GOT SOME NICE
DRY CAT FOOD FOR YOU.
YICK!
WHERE IS
THAT SCOUNDREL?
IT'S GETTING LATE.
WE BETTER GET GOING.
Grandma: YOU CAN'T COME
WITH US, HEATHCLIFF.
WE'RE GOING TO VISI
AUNT MARY IN THE HOSPITAL.
AND THEY DON'T ALLOW
ANIMALS IN HOSPITALS.
NOW GET OUT!
YOU WON'T HAVE ANY FUN
WITHOUT ME.
[COUGH COUGH]
[COUGH COUGH]
NO RESPECT.
MARCIE!
IT'S GOING TO BE
THE BEST PARTY!
EVERYONE'S COMING.
I JUST HOPE HEATHCLIFF
DOESN'T FIND OUT.
THAT WOULD RUIN
THE SURPRISE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
GUESS WHO.
[MUFFLED]
MEOW!
HEATHCLIFF! WHA
A PLEASANT SURPRISE.
UH, BUT I'M NO
FEELING WELL,
SO I CAN'T PLAY
WITH YOU TODAY.
I'M NOT FEELING
SO GREAT MYSELF.
HMM!
YUCK!
[PFFT PFFT]
IT'S SOUR!
[STOMACH GROWLS]
YEAH, DON'T WORRY, FRIEND.
I'M WORKING ON IT.
HOW'S FRESH FISH SOUND?
WHAT THE
OH, NO! THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN A DISASTER AT SEA.
I'M STARVING!
WE GOT TO GET THIS
TO HEATHCLIFF FOR
HIS SURPRISE PARTY.
WHY?
WANT TO LIVE TO SEE
YOURNEXT BIRTHDAY?
THAT'S WHY!
HEATHCLIFF!
HIDE THE STUFF.
HUH? HMM.
[WHISTLING]
HI, BIG GUY!
INVADING MY TURF, HUH?
OH, NO.
WE JUST GOT HERE.
SOMEONE HAS GONE
THROUGH THE SCRAPS WITH
A FINE-TOOTH COMB.
RATS, PERHAPS?
I SMELL A RAT, ALL RIGHT,
AND THE WIND IS COMING
FROM YOUR DIRECTION!
HEATHIE! BUDDY!
CALM DOWN!
YOU'RE TOO COOL
TO BE CRUEL.
NOBODY CALLS ME
HEATHIE!
MISS SONIA DOES.
SHE'S NOT NOBODY.
SHE'S SOMEBODY!
LATER.
HEY, HOW ABOUT A STROLL
ALONG THE RIVERBANK,
BLUE EYES?
IF ONLY I COULD.
I HAVE AN APPOINTMEN
AT THE BEAUTY PARLOR
TODAY.
UH, WHAT ABOUT A LITTLE
ROMANTIC DINNER AND DANCING
LATER TONIGHT, HUH?
UH, I CAN'T TONIGHT,
HEATHIE.
I HAVE AUH
A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT.
ANOTHER ENGAGEMENT?
WITH WHOM?
I CAN'T SAY.
BUT TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!
I TOTALLY FORGOT!
YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN
TOTALLY FORGET ABOU
HAVING ME TO PUSH AROUND!
I'M HISTORY TO YOU!
OH! HA!
SONIA'S TWO-TIMING ON ME,
BUT WITH WHOM?
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT GUY,
HE'LL WISH HE WAS NEVER BORN!
TONIGHT'S
THE BIG NIGHT!
I HOPE HE APPRECIATES
ALL THE TROUBLE
WE'RE GOING THROUGH.
DO SOMETHING TO STASH THE GIFT!
HEATHCLIFF'S COMING!
SO, TONIGHT'S
THE BIG NIGHT, HUH?
WHO'S THE MEANIE
WHO SPILLED THE BEANIES?
YEAH. IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A SECRET!
THERE ARE NO SECRETS
ON MY TURF!
WHAT DO YOU GOT BEHIND
YOUR BACK, MONGO?
VERY NICE. A PRESENT.
WELL, NOBODY'S GETTING
THIS PRESENT!
[HISSING AND SNARLING]
IF YOU EVEN
LOOK AT SONIA,
I'LL MAKE SURE YOU
NEVER WALK AGAIN!
WHAT'S HE
TALKING ABOUT?
IF I KNEW, I WOULDN'T BE
BLACK AND BLUE!
YOU'RE AN HOUR
TOO LATE, KID.
YOUR PAPA'S
ESCAPED AGAIN.
WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY
EVERYONE WANTS TO BE,
THEN I'LL JUS
LEAVE TOWN--
GO SOMEWHERE WHERE
I'LL BE APPRECIATED!
HE'S COMING!
THEY'LL ALL BE SORRY WHEN
THEY WON'T HAVE ME AROUND!
All: SURPRISE!
OHH
UH
GEEHA HA!
THANKS, GUYS!
YOU DESERVE IT.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
HEATHCLIFF!
WHOA!
[ALL LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
AHA!
[GULP]
All: FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
[SLURP]
[GULP]
NOW, THIS IS WHAT I CALL
A TASTY ENDING.
HEE HEE HOO HOO HOO!
I'M GOING TO SEE FOR MYSELF
IF THESE RUMORS ARE TRUE.
A BUNCH OF NEW CATS
INVADING MY TURF!
I DON'T CARE HOW TOUGH
AND UGLY THESE NEW CATS ARE,
NOBODY MESSES WITH
RIFF RAFF!
NOW WE'LL SEE ABOUT THESE
CATS CRASHING ONTO MY TURF!
HUH?
[GIGGLING]
All: MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW.
MEOW
[SINGS OFF-KEY]
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
YOU GOT A TIN EAR
OR SOMETHING?
IF YOU WANT TO SING
AND USE THAT THROAT,
TRY AT LEAST TO HI
THE RIGHT NOTE!
HA HA HA HA!
[FEMALE CATS GIGGLING]
[SINGING OFF-KEY]
ALL RIGHT!
THAT'S ENOUGH OU
OF YOU TWO LOWLIFES.
I DREAM OF KITTIES
WITH THE SOFT WHITE FUR ♪
QUIET DOWN THERE!
SHOO! GO AWAY!
Riff Raff: HA HA HA!
WHAT A LAUGH!
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
WHAT YOU DO FOR AN ENCORE.
WHO SAID THAT?
LET ME AT HIM!
UHHECTOR
Riff Raff:
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, YOU MUGS!
LET'S GIVE ME SOME ROOM.
SO, YOU STRUCK OUT WITH
THE LADIES, EH, HECTOR?
YEAH? WELL, YOU SEE,
IT'S LIKE THIS. I--
DUHCAN YOU DO
ANY BETTER?
SURE CAN,
MONGO.
YOUSE TWO JUS
WAIT HERE AND WATCH
WHILE I GE
INSIDE THAT HOUSE
AND HAVE ALL THOSE
CUTIES TO MYSELF.
[BUZZ BUZZ]
[CAT SIGHS]
[GIGGLES]
OH! ANOTHER TOMCAT, EH?
WELL, SHOO!
YOU'RE NOT WELCOME
IN THIS HOUSE!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NOW NOTHING IS GOING TO
KEEP ME OUT OF THAT HOUSE!
NOTHING!
THIS IS THE LIFE.
AHH!
Riff Raff:
HEY, LEROY!
[GRR]
HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
MY DROPPING IN LIKE
THIS, BONE-BREATH.
YOU JUST DROPPED INTO
BIG TROUBLE, FURBALL.
HUH?
HEY!
SORRY YOU HAVE TO BE
ROLLING ALONG SO SOON!
I'LL GET YOU
F-F-FOR TH-TH-THIS!
HE'S SUCH A CRASHING BORE.
OH, WELL.
TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK.
THIS LOOKS PROMISING!
PERFECT!
Hector: HA! DO YOU
BELIEVE THAT GUY?
"NOW NOTHING'S GOING TO
KEEP ME OUT OF THAT HOUSE!
NOTHING!"
[ALL LAUGH]
WHOA!
HA HA HA!
WHAT A LOON!
WHAT A MAROON!
[BOUNCING]
[CATS GIGGLING]
HEE HEE HEE!
HA HA HA!
JUST A FEW MORE
INCHES, LADIES.
JUST A FEW MORE!
EXCUSE ME, KITTIES.
I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS RUG.
[COUGH COUGH]
OH, NO!
HA HA HA!
NOTHING'S GOING TO KEEP ME
OUT OF THERE. NOTHING!
[BUZZ]
MY, MY! LOOK WHAT SOMEONE
HAS LEFT ON MY DOORSTEP--
A LITTLE BITTY BABY!
YES, GATHER ROUND
AND SEE WHAT I HAVE.
[MEOW]
[MEOW]
[MEOW]
NOW, YOU BE NICE
TO THE LITTLE TYKE WHILE
I GO FETCH SOME MILK.
[GIGGLING]
MY, WHA
A FELINE HUNK!
SO! CAN'T PU
ANYTHING OVER ON ME,
YOU BAD CAT!
[MEOW]
OH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NOTHING--I REPEAT,
NOTHING'S GOING TO STOP ME
FROM GETTING INTO
THAT HOUSE!
HUH?
HUH?
HEY! WATCH I
UP THERE!
BRR! SEEMS TO BE GETTING
CHILLY IN HERE.
THERE! THAT SHOULD
WARM THINGS UP A BIT.
HEY! WHAT'S COOKING?
MEEE--
YOW!
OHHHH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
YOU SEE THAT?
WHAT A KLUTZ!
WHAT DID YOU SAY,
HECKIE-WECKIE?
Hector:
UHHEH HEH!
JUST KIDDING,
OLD BUDDY.
OH, YEAH?
WELL, I'M NOT!
IN FACT, MAYBE I
CAN USE YOU GUYS.
YEAH. WHY NOT?
HEH HEH!
UH, SURE, RIFF RAFF.
WH-WHAT YOU
WANT US TO DO?
[BUZZ]
JUST A MOMENT!
YES? WHAT CAN I
DO FOR YOU?
UH
[MEOW]
WHAT? HMM
WHAT'S GOING ON?
HEH HEH HEH HEH!
SHOO!
GO AWAY!
YOU OPEN UP IN THERE!
DO YOU HEAR ME?
OPEN UP RIGHT NOW!
WHAT DO YOU SAY THERE,
LADIES?
THE NAME'S RIFF RAFF.
[GIGGLING]
NO NEED TO CROWD, GIRLS.
OK. WHERE DO YOU WANT ME
TO START, LADIES?
WANT TO HEAR ABOU
SOME OF MY EXPLOITS, HUH?
HEY, THERE'S
ENOUGH TO GO AROUND!
OUCH!
OH! I THINK
I GOT WOMAN TROUBLES!
OH, BABY!
LET ME AT HIM!
LATER, LADIES!
HE CAN'T GE
AWAY FROM US!
TRAPPED!
[CHANTING]
RIFF RAFF! RIFF RAFF!
RIFF RAFF! RIFF RAFF!
[RIFF RAFF
YELLS LIKE TARZAN]
SORRY, LADIES, BUT THERE CAN
BE TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.
[GIGGLING]
RIFF RAFF!
RIFF RAFF!
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
All: OH, RIFF RAFF!
[SADLY]
OH, RIFF RAFF
DID YOU SEE THAT?
NOW, THERE'S SOME CAT!
YEAH. WHAT A GUY!
WHAT A GUY!
OH, SHUT UP!
OH, RIFF RAFF!
WHY, YOU TWO-TIMER!
YOUYOU THREE-TIMER!
OR IS IT FOUR?
OR--OH!
BUT--BUT--BUT--
WELL, YOU CAN'
HAVE EVERYTHING!
OR CAN YOU?
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
WHEN YOU FEED YOUR HAMSTER, FEED
HIM AT THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY.
PREFERABLY EVENING.
HAMSTERS LOVE CORN, OATS, WHEAT,
BARLEY, EVEN RABBIT PELLETS.
OCCASIONALLY FEED HIM FRESH
GREENS.
LETTUCE, CARROTS, DANDELIONS,
EVEN WATERMELLON RIND.
HUNGRY LITTLE CRITTER, ISN'T HE?
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