Animaniacs (1993) s01e57 Episode Script
Hercule Yakko / Home on De-Nile / A Midsummer Night's Dream / Testimonials / Babblin' Bijou
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY DATELINE--HOLLYWOOD, 1930, THE WARNER BROTHERS STUDIO.
AT THE STUDIO'S NEW ANIMATION DEPARTMENT, THE ARTISTS TOIL TO COME UP WITH CARTOON STARS, ULTIMATELY CREATING THREE NEW CHARACTERS-- THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THEIR SISTER DOT.
HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! UNFORTUNATELY, THE WARNER KIDS WERE TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! THE TRIO RAN AMUCK THROUGHOUT THE STUDIO UNTIL THEIR CAPTURE.
THE WARNERS' FILMS, WHICH MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, WERE LOCKED IN THE STUDIO VAULT, NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
AS FOR THE WARNERS THEMSELVES, THEY WERE LOCKED AWAY IN THE STUDIO WATER TOWER, ALSO NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
PUBLICLY, THE STUDIO HAS DISAVOWED ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WARNERS' EXISTENCE TO THIS VERY DAY WHEN THE WARNERS ESCAPED.
IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS IT'S MIME TIME.
TODAY ON MIME TIME TRAPPED IN AN IMAGINARY BOX.
PREVIOUSLY ON WARNER LAW.
OH, NO! A PARKING TICKET? BUT WHY? I PUT MONEY IN THE METER! IF YOU'RE INNOCENT, YOU'VE GOT TO FIGH THIS TICKET.
WE'LL HELP.
WE'LL BE YOUR LAWYERS! HA HA! YOU? MY LAWYERS? OH, NO.
YOU KIDS IS CRAZY.
I'M GOING TO PAY THE TICKET, BOOM, AND THAT IS THAT.
AND DON'T COME ANYWHERE NEAR ME! COME, SIBLINGS.
WE HAVE A TRIAL TO PREPARE.
DR.
OTTO SCRATCHANSNIFF, YOU'RE CHARGED WITH A PARKING VIOLATION.
YOU CAN PAY THE TICKE OR PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE.
HERE'S MY CHECKBOOK, SO I'LL-- FIGHT! OH, NO, NOT THEM! WHO SAID THAT? I DID, YOUR JUDGITY.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? THAT'S A FINGER.
YOU HAVE FIVE OF THEM ON EACH HAND.
UNLESS YOU'RE IN THE CIRCUS, THEN IT'S NEGOTIABLE.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MY ASSOCIATES.
WE'RE FROM THE LAW FIRM OF WARNER WARNER WARNER AND MIME.
HE'S OUR SILENT PARTNER.
WE'RE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF'S LAWYERS.
PLEASE GO AWAY.
JUST SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE AND LEAVE EVERYTHING TO US.
HELP.
AHEM.
MR.
JUDGE PERSON, WE'LL PROVE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF IS INNOCEN BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOT.
I HATE PUNS.
WE WILL ALSO PROVE JUSTICE IS NOT BLIND, SHE'S CROSS-EYED.
THANKS.
NOW, SEE HERE! I'VE HAD JUST ABOU ENOUGH OF THIS FALDERAL! FALDERAL FALDEREE FALDERAH FALDERAH EE OO EE AH HEE HEE JUST GET ON WITH THE TRIAL.
HAVE YOU SUBPENEED A WITNESS? HAVE WE WHAT? SUBPENEE! SUBPENEE! HAVE YOU SUBPENEED A WITNESS? I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT.
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR EVEN THINKING IT.
THEN CALL YOUR FIRST WITNESS! AHEM.
CAN I SAY SOMETHING, PLEASE? NO.
NO.
NO.
YOUR IMMENSITY WE CALL TO THE STAND THE PERSON THAT GAVE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF THE TICKET-- BURBANK METER MAID MISS GERTY BILCHMOYTNER.
DO YOU SWEAR? YES.
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T.
IT'S NOT NICE.
YOU MAY BE SEATED, MISS BILCHMOYTNER.
MISS BILCHMOYTNER-- OR IS IT NANA PUNTRIDGE OF PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA? NO! OH.
I'M DONE.
GO FOR IT.
WILL YOU GET ON WITH IT? MISS BILCHMOYTNER, DO YOU LIKE CANDY? YES.
DO YOU HAVE ANY? NO.
I'M THROUGH.
YOUR TURN.
THANKS.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO GO ON.
MISS BILCHMOYTNER, WHY DID YOU GIVE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF A TICKET? HIS PARKING METER HAD EXPIRED.
THAT'S A VIOLATION OF THE BURBANK PENAL CODE.
THE WHAT? THE PENAL CODE! THE PENAL CODE! THE TWO OF YOU OUGHT TO GET TOGETHER.
MISS BILCHMOYTNER, YOU'RE A METER MAID, THAT'S CORRECT? YES.
DO YOU DO WINDOWS? NO.
WHAT KIND OF MAID ARE YOU? STOP BADGERING THE WITNESS! SORRY.
[BAA.]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? GOATING THE WITNESS.
ONE MORE PUN, AND I'LL FIND YOU IN CONTEMPT.
I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.
THAT'S IN NEW MEXICO? CAN WE ALL GO? DO THEY HAVE BATS? YOU KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY! I WONDER WHAT PRISON IS LIKE.
NOW, MISS BILCHMOYTNER, IS IT NOT POSSIBLE THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A TERRIBLE MAID THE METER MIGHT HAVE BEEN DIRTY AND MALFUNCTIONING? I--I SUPPOSE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, BUT I'M NOT SURE THAT-- ISN'T THA WHAT HAPPENED? YOU GAVE HIM A TICKE HE DID NOT DESERVE.
STOP LEADING THE WITNESS.
ALL RIGHT, THEN, YOU LEAD.
[PLAYING TANGO MUSIC.]
EVERYBODY! SWITCH! I LOVE TO TANGO.
OH, JUDGE! BUT WHAT ABOU THE TRIAL? FORGET THE TRIAL.
LET'S TALK ABOUT US.
CASE DISMISSED! LOOKS LIKE THE TRIAL'S OVER, SCRATCHY.
WE WON! I GUESS JUSTICE ISN' CROSS-EYED AFTER ALL.
IT'S IN LOVE! IT'S MIME TIME.
TODAY ON MIME TIME THROWING AN IMAGINARY FOOTBALL.
ARRGH! ERR! BUTTONS! OH, BUTTONS! HA HA HA! SILLY PUPPY.
WAAH! AHHH! BLBLBL! WHOA! HA HA HA! [IMITATING AIRPLANE.]
[MEOW.]
KITTY! [SNORING.]
AGH! AGH! UH! OOF! OOF! HUH? KITTY! [PANTING.]
OH! [MEOW.]
[BABBLING.]
HEE HEE HEE! YAY! [WHIMPERS.]
HOW DO YOU WORK THIS? [GASP.]
[MEOW.]
[MEOW.]
[WHIMPERS.]
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA! [MOANING.]
[MEOW.]
[GASP.]
[CRACKING.]
[MEOW.]
OOF! [CRACKING.]
OH! [MEOW.]
KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! [MEOW.]
[WHIMPERING.]
KITTY! ERR! [YELP.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[GASP.]
[WHIMPERING.]
KITTY! [GASP.]
UH! UNH! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! BUTTONS LOOK FUNNY! [MEOW.]
OOH! GREEN BEAN! COME BACK, GREEN BEAN! OH! OH! [GASP.]
HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! [MEOW.]
[GASP.]
HA HA HA! AAH! AH! AHH! GREETINGS, EARTH DOG.
[GASP.]
HI.
HI.
HI.
WHATCHA DOING? EATING LUNCH.
WHY? 'CAUSE IT'S LUNCHTIME.
WHY? 'CAUSE WE WORKED HARD ALL MORNING.
WHY? YOU GOT ME, KID.
O.
K.
I LOVE YOU.
BYE-BYE.
CUTE KID.
YEAH.
CUTE KID! UP HERE? [HOWL.]
BUTTONS! HI.
I LOVE YOU.
[ARF ARF ARF.]
[WHIMPERING.]
IS THAT YOUR DOG? MY DOG.
GIVE ME THE FOREMAN! A KID'S UP HERE! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! CALL THE COPS! CALL ACTION WITNESS NEWS! EXCITEMENT AND DANGER'S IN THE AIR.
A BABY GIRL IS ON THE 90TH FLOOR OF THIS BUILDING.
ISN'T THAT BUTTONS? OH, MY GOODNESS! THAT'S MINDY! AHHH! AHH! GOOD DOG.
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
[MEOW.]
[GASP.]
[MEOW.]
HOLD IT, BOY! COME BACK! [MEOW.]
AHH! MINDY! WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE SAFE! KITTY! SWEET KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.
BUTTONS! BAD DOG! BAD, BAD DOG! WE TRUST YOU WITH MINDY'S SAFETY, AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS! HUH? LOOK AT THE TROUBLE YOU CAUSED JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD TO CHASE A CAT! BAD DOG! BAD, BAD, DOG! IT'S MIME TIME.
TODAY ON MIME TIME PULLING AN IMAGINARY ROPE.
CIAO-A-BUNGA!
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY DATELINE--HOLLYWOOD, 1930, THE WARNER BROTHERS STUDIO.
AT THE STUDIO'S NEW ANIMATION DEPARTMENT, THE ARTISTS TOIL TO COME UP WITH CARTOON STARS, ULTIMATELY CREATING THREE NEW CHARACTERS-- THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THEIR SISTER DOT.
HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! UNFORTUNATELY, THE WARNER KIDS WERE TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! BOINKY! THE TRIO RAN AMUCK THROUGHOUT THE STUDIO UNTIL THEIR CAPTURE.
THE WARNERS' FILMS, WHICH MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, WERE LOCKED IN THE STUDIO VAULT, NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
AS FOR THE WARNERS THEMSELVES, THEY WERE LOCKED AWAY IN THE STUDIO WATER TOWER, ALSO NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
PUBLICLY, THE STUDIO HAS DISAVOWED ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WARNERS' EXISTENCE TO THIS VERY DAY WHEN THE WARNERS ESCAPED.
IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS IT'S MIME TIME.
TODAY ON MIME TIME TRAPPED IN AN IMAGINARY BOX.
PREVIOUSLY ON WARNER LAW.
OH, NO! A PARKING TICKET? BUT WHY? I PUT MONEY IN THE METER! IF YOU'RE INNOCENT, YOU'VE GOT TO FIGH THIS TICKET.
WE'LL HELP.
WE'LL BE YOUR LAWYERS! HA HA! YOU? MY LAWYERS? OH, NO.
YOU KIDS IS CRAZY.
I'M GOING TO PAY THE TICKET, BOOM, AND THAT IS THAT.
AND DON'T COME ANYWHERE NEAR ME! COME, SIBLINGS.
WE HAVE A TRIAL TO PREPARE.
DR.
OTTO SCRATCHANSNIFF, YOU'RE CHARGED WITH A PARKING VIOLATION.
YOU CAN PAY THE TICKE OR PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE.
HERE'S MY CHECKBOOK, SO I'LL-- FIGHT! OH, NO, NOT THEM! WHO SAID THAT? I DID, YOUR JUDGITY.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? THAT'S A FINGER.
YOU HAVE FIVE OF THEM ON EACH HAND.
UNLESS YOU'RE IN THE CIRCUS, THEN IT'S NEGOTIABLE.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MY ASSOCIATES.
WE'RE FROM THE LAW FIRM OF WARNER WARNER WARNER AND MIME.
HE'S OUR SILENT PARTNER.
WE'RE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF'S LAWYERS.
PLEASE GO AWAY.
JUST SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE AND LEAVE EVERYTHING TO US.
HELP.
AHEM.
MR.
JUDGE PERSON, WE'LL PROVE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF IS INNOCEN BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOT.
I HATE PUNS.
WE WILL ALSO PROVE JUSTICE IS NOT BLIND, SHE'S CROSS-EYED.
THANKS.
NOW, SEE HERE! I'VE HAD JUST ABOU ENOUGH OF THIS FALDERAL! FALDERAL FALDEREE FALDERAH FALDERAH EE OO EE AH HEE HEE JUST GET ON WITH THE TRIAL.
HAVE YOU SUBPENEED A WITNESS? HAVE WE WHAT? SUBPENEE! SUBPENEE! HAVE YOU SUBPENEED A WITNESS? I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT.
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR EVEN THINKING IT.
THEN CALL YOUR FIRST WITNESS! AHEM.
CAN I SAY SOMETHING, PLEASE? NO.
NO.
NO.
YOUR IMMENSITY WE CALL TO THE STAND THE PERSON THAT GAVE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF THE TICKET-- BURBANK METER MAID MISS GERTY BILCHMOYTNER.
DO YOU SWEAR? YES.
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T.
IT'S NOT NICE.
YOU MAY BE SEATED, MISS BILCHMOYTNER.
MISS BILCHMOYTNER-- OR IS IT NANA PUNTRIDGE OF PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA? NO! OH.
I'M DONE.
GO FOR IT.
WILL YOU GET ON WITH IT? MISS BILCHMOYTNER, DO YOU LIKE CANDY? YES.
DO YOU HAVE ANY? NO.
I'M THROUGH.
YOUR TURN.
THANKS.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO GO ON.
MISS BILCHMOYTNER, WHY DID YOU GIVE DR.
SCRATCHANSNIFF A TICKET? HIS PARKING METER HAD EXPIRED.
THAT'S A VIOLATION OF THE BURBANK PENAL CODE.
THE WHAT? THE PENAL CODE! THE PENAL CODE! THE TWO OF YOU OUGHT TO GET TOGETHER.
MISS BILCHMOYTNER, YOU'RE A METER MAID, THAT'S CORRECT? YES.
DO YOU DO WINDOWS? NO.
WHAT KIND OF MAID ARE YOU? STOP BADGERING THE WITNESS! SORRY.
[BAA.]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? GOATING THE WITNESS.
ONE MORE PUN, AND I'LL FIND YOU IN CONTEMPT.
I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.
THAT'S IN NEW MEXICO? CAN WE ALL GO? DO THEY HAVE BATS? YOU KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY! I WONDER WHAT PRISON IS LIKE.
NOW, MISS BILCHMOYTNER, IS IT NOT POSSIBLE THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A TERRIBLE MAID THE METER MIGHT HAVE BEEN DIRTY AND MALFUNCTIONING? I--I SUPPOSE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, BUT I'M NOT SURE THAT-- ISN'T THA WHAT HAPPENED? YOU GAVE HIM A TICKE HE DID NOT DESERVE.
STOP LEADING THE WITNESS.
ALL RIGHT, THEN, YOU LEAD.
[PLAYING TANGO MUSIC.]
EVERYBODY! SWITCH! I LOVE TO TANGO.
OH, JUDGE! BUT WHAT ABOU THE TRIAL? FORGET THE TRIAL.
LET'S TALK ABOUT US.
CASE DISMISSED! LOOKS LIKE THE TRIAL'S OVER, SCRATCHY.
WE WON! I GUESS JUSTICE ISN' CROSS-EYED AFTER ALL.
IT'S IN LOVE! IT'S MIME TIME.
TODAY ON MIME TIME THROWING AN IMAGINARY FOOTBALL.
ARRGH! ERR! BUTTONS! OH, BUTTONS! HA HA HA! SILLY PUPPY.
WAAH! AHHH! BLBLBL! WHOA! HA HA HA! [IMITATING AIRPLANE.]
[MEOW.]
KITTY! [SNORING.]
AGH! AGH! UH! OOF! OOF! HUH? KITTY! [PANTING.]
OH! [MEOW.]
[BABBLING.]
HEE HEE HEE! YAY! [WHIMPERS.]
HOW DO YOU WORK THIS? [GASP.]
[MEOW.]
[MEOW.]
[WHIMPERS.]
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA! [MOANING.]
[MEOW.]
[GASP.]
[CRACKING.]
[MEOW.]
OOF! [CRACKING.]
OH! [MEOW.]
KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! [MEOW.]
[WHIMPERING.]
KITTY! ERR! [YELP.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[GASP.]
[WHIMPERING.]
KITTY! [GASP.]
UH! UNH! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! BUTTONS LOOK FUNNY! [MEOW.]
OOH! GREEN BEAN! COME BACK, GREEN BEAN! OH! OH! [GASP.]
HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! [MEOW.]
[GASP.]
HA HA HA! AAH! AH! AHH! GREETINGS, EARTH DOG.
[GASP.]
HI.
HI.
HI.
WHATCHA DOING? EATING LUNCH.
WHY? 'CAUSE IT'S LUNCHTIME.
WHY? 'CAUSE WE WORKED HARD ALL MORNING.
WHY? YOU GOT ME, KID.
O.
K.
I LOVE YOU.
BYE-BYE.
CUTE KID.
YEAH.
CUTE KID! UP HERE? [HOWL.]
BUTTONS! HI.
I LOVE YOU.
[ARF ARF ARF.]
[WHIMPERING.]
IS THAT YOUR DOG? MY DOG.
GIVE ME THE FOREMAN! A KID'S UP HERE! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! CALL THE COPS! CALL ACTION WITNESS NEWS! EXCITEMENT AND DANGER'S IN THE AIR.
A BABY GIRL IS ON THE 90TH FLOOR OF THIS BUILDING.
ISN'T THAT BUTTONS? OH, MY GOODNESS! THAT'S MINDY! AHHH! AHH! GOOD DOG.
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
[MEOW.]
[GASP.]
[MEOW.]
HOLD IT, BOY! COME BACK! [MEOW.]
AHH! MINDY! WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE SAFE! KITTY! SWEET KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.
BUTTONS! BAD DOG! BAD, BAD DOG! WE TRUST YOU WITH MINDY'S SAFETY, AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS! HUH? LOOK AT THE TROUBLE YOU CAUSED JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD TO CHASE A CAT! BAD DOG! BAD, BAD, DOG! IT'S MIME TIME.
TODAY ON MIME TIME PULLING AN IMAGINARY ROPE.
CIAO-A-BUNGA!