Animaniacs (1993) s01e87 Episode Script
Katie Ka-Boo / Baghdad Cafe / Critical Condition
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY FLAMEEL! IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y CITIZEN KANEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS THIS IS THE BEGINNING THE BEGINNING OF OUR STORY THE BEGINNING THAT MANIAC DIRECTOR IS MILLIONS OVER BUDGET.
I TOLD YOU TO STOP HIM.
WE'VE TRIED EVERYTHING, T.
P.
, HE'S LOCKED US OUT.
WE SENT OUR BEST ACCOUNTANTS TO PULL THE PLUG, BUT THEY NEVER CAME BACK.
ISN'T THAT SCARY? GET OUT OF MY BUBBLE! WE NEED SOMEONE CUNNING TO GET INSIDE THAT SOUNDSTAGE AND STOP THAT DIRECTOR.
SOMEONE WHO'S BRAVE, DARING, AND STUPID ENOUGH TO GO ON THIS MISSION.
GENTLEMEN, WE NEED THE WARNERS! YOU RANG? AAH! THEY REALLY SHOULD SWITCH TO DECAF.
[YAKKO.]
THAT'S HOW IT BEGAN.
WE LISTENED INTENTLY AS THEY EXPLAINED OUR MISSION.
WE HAD EACH BEEN SELECTED FOR OUR UNIQUE ABILITIES.
THAT'S DOT.
HER SPECIALTY-- CUTENESS.
THAT'S WAKKO.
HIS SPECIALTY-- THE MALLET.
THAT'S ME.
MY SPECIALTY-- TWO PADDLEBALLS AT ONCE! YOUR JOB IS TO GE FROM THIS OFFICE HERE TO SOUNDSTAGE 64 HERE AND STOP THAT DIRECTOR! ANY QUESTIONS? WOULD I LOOK CUTE AS A BLONDE? WHY DO CATS PURR? WHO'S CHUBBIER-- PERRY MASON OR SCOTTY ON STAR TREK? GOOD LUCK, WARNERS.
THANK YOU, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, WAKKO, LET'S ROLL! OOPS.
SORRY.
HA HA HA! WE BEGAN OUR JOURNEY TO SOUND STAGE 64.
WAKKO DROVE.
THEN I DECIDED TO DRIVE.
THIS IS THE MIDDLE THE MIDDLE OF OUR STORY THE MIDDLE WE PUSHED OUR WAY INTO THE VERY HEART THE STUDIO.
THE SIGHTS WE SAW AAH! AAH! THE CARNAGE THE DESTRUCTION THE SENSELESS VIOLENCE THE HORROR AAH! AAH! AAH! THE HORROR.
FINALLY, OUR JOURNEY WAS OVER.
THERE IT WAS-- SOUND STAGE 64.
CAREFUL, SIBS.
THERE COULD BE A TRAP AROUND HERE.
THANK YOU, AMAZING KRESKIN.
WE HAD BEEN CAPTURED BY THE MISSING ACCOUNTANTS, NOW DISCIPLES OF THE DIRECTOR.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
STOP WITH THE CHANTING! BRAVO! ENCORE! FABU! DID YOU CHOREOGRAPH THAT? YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD.
WHO ARE YOU THAT HAVE COME HERE, MAN? WE'RE HERE TO STOP THE DIRECTOR.
HA HA HA! STOP HIM, MAN? WHOA! WRONG! WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS? HE'S THE THINKER, TINKER, PLOTTER, PLANNER, THE GENIUS! IN FRANCE, HE'S KING THERE, MAN.
COMEDY'S HIS CROWN.
HE RULES WITH FUNNY WORDS.
FUNNY WORDS LIKE FROYNLAVEN! AAH! HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS ENDING.
YOU'RE STAYING THERE TILL HE DOES.
LET ME HANDLE THIS.
OH, MR.
CRAZY PERSON? ALL WE WANT TO DO IS GIVE THE DIRECTOR A BIG SMOOSHY KISS AND SAY HI.
WHOA.
YOU'RE CUTE, MAN.
YOU GOT THIS CUTE "DON'T MAKE ME STAY HERE" THING HAPPENING.
PLEASE LET US OU OF THE CAGEY-WAGEY.
YOU'RE WORKING YOUR WEIRDNESS ON ME, MAN, YOUR CUTE WEIRDNESS.
O.
K.
I'LL LET YOU OUT.
SOME GIRLS GOT IT, SOME GIRLS DON'T.
FIRST YOU GOT TO SAY THE PASSWORD.
NOBODY SEES THE DIRECTOR UNLESS THEY KNOW THE PASSWORD.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
WOULD IT BEFROYNLAVEN? WHOA.
THEY HAVE SPOKEN FROYNLAVEN! GO IN, WE SHOULD LET THEM.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
HOW'D YOU KNOW? IT CAME TO ME.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
WHAT'LL YOU DO WITH THOSE? NOTHING.
IT'S JUST FUN.
I SEE HIM.
COME ON.
THE WRETCHED CLOWN, THE ENDING SCENE.
TAKE 6,437.
AND ACTION.
I SAW A SNAIL SLITHERING ACROSS A RAILROAD TRACK.
OOEY GOOEY WAS HIS NAME.
[GULP.]
OHH! I ATE A BUG! CUT! CUT! A BUG, I ATE, WITH LITTLE WINGS.
BLEAH! EVERYBODY TAKE FIVE.
I NEED TO BE ALONE.
GET OUT! I GOT TO POSTULATE A NEW ENDING.
ENDING.
ENDING.
HI THERE.
AAH! DON'T WITH THE SCARING! IT'S NOT GOOD.
ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT? WHO ARE YOU? I WANT ANSWERS.
WE'RE THE WARNER BROTHERS.
AND THE WARNER SISTER.
HEADS WILL ROLL FOR THIS INFRINGEMENT.
THIS I PROMISE.
HMM.
HMM.
HMM.
I DON'T SIGN AUTOGRAPHS.
IT CHEAPENS US BOTH-- ME, THE ARTIST, YOU THEWHATEVER.
NOW SCOOT.
AAH! HOW'D YOU, WITH THE GOING-- YOU WERE THERE, BUT HERE NOW.
HOW'D YOU DO? YOU UNDERSTAND ANY OF THAT? HE SAID HOW'D YOU, WITH THE GOING-- YOU WERE THERE, BUT HERE NOW.
HOW'D YOU DO? THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT.
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I SAY THIS-- LEAVE ALREADY! OHH! AGAIN WITH THE POPPING AND SCARING.
WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE? THE C.
E.
O.
MR.
PLOTZ SENT US.
WE HAVE TO STOP YOUR MOVIE.
STOP THE MOV-- THE THING ON FILM? IT'S NOT FINISHED.
I DON'T HAVE AN ENDING.
I WON'T LET YOU.
DON'T MAKE US USE THESE.
FROYNLAVEN! FROYNLAVEN! YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME.
NOT UNTIL THERE'S AN ENDING.
IT'S OVER.
IT'S NOT.
O.
K.
SO IT'S NOT OVER.
I MIGHT HAVE AN ENDING FOR YOUR MOVIE.
AN ENDING THAT A PERSON LIKE ME COULD HAVE TO DO? WHAT IS IT, NICE BOY WITH NO EYEBROWS? O.
K.
I'M READY FOR MY ENDING! YOU WANT IT? OOH, YEAH! YOU REALLY WANT IT? YEAH.
GIVE.
FROYNLAVEN! ANDACTION.
UGGGGHHH! THAT'S AN ENDING? THE MICROPHONE WAS IN THE SHOT.
O.
K.
, EVERYBODY, LET'S DO IT AGAIN! OH, I DON'T WANT THAT.
ANDACTION! THE HURTING THE HURTING.
CUT.
PRINT.
THAT'S A WRAP.
LET'S GO HOME.
THAT'S THE ENDING THE ENDING OF OUR STORY THE ENDING THAT'S THE ENDING THE ENDING OF OUR-- OOF! THAT'S THE ENDING THE ENDING THE ENDING THE ENDING AS FAR BACK AS BOBBY COULD REMEMBER, HE WANTED TO BE IN THE MOVIES.
BOBBY SAID WE COULD GET PARTS IN THE BOIDS.
WHY? BECAUSE WE WERE BOIDS.
BOTTA-BING.
THIS IS IT.
WE'RE GOING TO BE STARS.
WE'RE GOING TO BE SOMEBODIES.
YOU CAN'T WALK ON A SE WITH NO EXPERIENCE AND EXPECT TO BE HIRED.
THIS IS HOLLYWOOD-- LAND OF NO REALITY.
KEEP YOUR REALITY CHECKS TO YOURSELF, DING-DONG.
[SQUISH.]
[COO.]
SHOW BIZ.
YOU REALLY DO GOT TO START AT THE BOTTOM.
THE DIRECTOR WAS SO IMPRESSED WITH US, HE HIRED US AS STUNT BIRDS.
DID YOU TAKE MY SEED? DID YOU TAKE MY SEED? YEAH, I TOOK YOUR SEED.
I ATE IT, AND I'M DIGESTING IT.
OH, YEAH? DIGEST THIS, YOU FEATHER-FANNY.
TAKE BOBBY'S SEED, I'LL PECK YOU TILL TUESDAY.
PLACES! HMM.
FORGET ABOUT IT.
THAT BIRD'S A NOBODY.
YEAH AND WE WERE SOMEBODIES.
I NEED A MANICURE.
GOOD EVENING.
SCENE 50, TAKE 1.
ANDACTION.
MAKE ROOM ON THE PERCH.
YOU'RE NOT IN THIS SHOT, BIRDBRAINS.
WE'RE IN EVERY SHOT, YOU BEAKY WALNUT EATER.
YOU GOT PROBLEMS WITH THAT? TOUGH! [SQUAWK.]
CUT.
BAD EVENING.
WHO CUED THE STUNT BIRDS? WHO CUED THE STUNT BIRDS? I DIDN'T.
GET THE DONUTS TO THE SET.
OHH! YOU GOODFEATHERS STINK.
WE STINK? EXCUSE ME.
WE STINK? WHY NOT TAKE SOME ACTING LESSONS? WE DO NOT STINK IN THIS PICTURE.
O.
K.
, BOYS, IF YOU SAY SO.
WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM GRIEF, CAWCAW? BECAUSE I ENJOY BEING RUDE.
IT'S MY JOB.
I'M A STAR, CHARLIE.
AAH! AAH! CUT.
BRING IN THE STUNT BIRD.
AND ACTION! AAH! AAH! BOTTA BING.
YOU'RE LOOKING A THE NEW KING OF SHOW BIZ.
AND ACTION! AAH! [SCREECHING.]
CUT! NORMAN, ON ACTION, YOU WILL LAUNCH THE STUNT BIRDS.
I'M ASKING YOU, IS THIS THE GOOD LIFE? ACTION! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! CUT! SOUND PROBLEM.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
QUICK! QUICK! ACTION! WHOA! CUT! GOOD.
BUT LET'S DO IT AGAIN WITH FEELING.
ACTION! CUT! WE GOT IT.
PLACES FOR THE FIREPLACE SEQUENCE.
YOUR BEAK'S IN MY EYE! THAT BETTER BE YOUR FOOT.
I LIKE YOUR COSTUME, PESTO.
ANDACTION! SORRY! AH CUT.
BEING A BIG-TIME STUNT BIRD IS PAINFUL.
CAN WE QUIT, GUYS, WHILE WE'RE STILL ALIVE? I DON'T MIND THE PAIN.
I LIKE IT.
I'M A SOMEBODY.
AM I TALKIN' TO ME? AM I TALKIN' TO ME? UHH THOSE PIGEONS ARE BIG-TIME LOSERS.
US, LOSERS? AIN'T IT HILARIOUS WATCHING THEM SUFFER? THOSE BIRDS WILL QUI BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER.
HA HA HA! ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? YEAH, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE THE VICTIM OF SELF-DELUSION, AND I THINK IT'S FUNNY.
SEE IF YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, WING-DING.
HERE COMES JOHNNY! HA HA HA! THAT CROW WAS JUST JEALOUS.
THAT BIG BUZZARD WAS JUST THREATENED BY OUR ACTING VERSATILITY.
AND OUR GOOD LOOKS, RIGHT? YEAH.
GET USED TO IT.
US STARS GOT TO PUT UP WITH STUFF LIKE THAT.
HEY, BOBBY KNOWS THIS INDUSTRY.
HEY, WHAT'D I DO? NOTHING.
I JUST FEL LIKE WHACKING SOMETHING.
GOOD EVENING.
AND ACTION.
[SCREECHING.]
OW! UHH! OW! OW! UGH! OW! I'VE HI THE BIG TIME.
UGH! I'M A BOX OFFICE SMASH.
I HAVE NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE.
I LOVE BEING A STUNT BIRD.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
I QUIT.
I'M WITH YOU.
OH, YOU POOR THINGS.
IF YOU WERE THE STARS LIKE US, YOU COULD JUST SI AND BE PRETTY AND NEVER GET HURT.
YOU MUST BE CHIRPIN' TO ME.
I JUST GO A RUSH OF BRAINS TO THE HEAD.
PLACES FOR SCENE 207, TAKE 103.
AND ACTION! WE'RE NOT THE FALL BIRDS NO MORE, GOODFEATHERS.
WE ARE SAFE IN A GILDED CAGE.
LET ME HELP YOU INTO THE CAR, DEAR.
[COO.]
WE'RE STARS NOW, BOBBY.
I GUESS WE ARE.
I HOPE WE DIDN' FORGET ANYTHING.
WE'RE OFF.
THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
WE HAD A SHORT, ONE-DAY CAREER IN THE MOVIES.
BUT, HEY, AS BOBBY WOULD SAY, IT'S BETTER TO BE SOMEBODY FOR A DAY THAN A NOBODY FOR A LIFETIME.
FLAMMEEL!
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY FLAMEEL! IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y CITIZEN KANEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS THIS IS THE BEGINNING THE BEGINNING OF OUR STORY THE BEGINNING THAT MANIAC DIRECTOR IS MILLIONS OVER BUDGET.
I TOLD YOU TO STOP HIM.
WE'VE TRIED EVERYTHING, T.
P.
, HE'S LOCKED US OUT.
WE SENT OUR BEST ACCOUNTANTS TO PULL THE PLUG, BUT THEY NEVER CAME BACK.
ISN'T THAT SCARY? GET OUT OF MY BUBBLE! WE NEED SOMEONE CUNNING TO GET INSIDE THAT SOUNDSTAGE AND STOP THAT DIRECTOR.
SOMEONE WHO'S BRAVE, DARING, AND STUPID ENOUGH TO GO ON THIS MISSION.
GENTLEMEN, WE NEED THE WARNERS! YOU RANG? AAH! THEY REALLY SHOULD SWITCH TO DECAF.
[YAKKO.]
THAT'S HOW IT BEGAN.
WE LISTENED INTENTLY AS THEY EXPLAINED OUR MISSION.
WE HAD EACH BEEN SELECTED FOR OUR UNIQUE ABILITIES.
THAT'S DOT.
HER SPECIALTY-- CUTENESS.
THAT'S WAKKO.
HIS SPECIALTY-- THE MALLET.
THAT'S ME.
MY SPECIALTY-- TWO PADDLEBALLS AT ONCE! YOUR JOB IS TO GE FROM THIS OFFICE HERE TO SOUNDSTAGE 64 HERE AND STOP THAT DIRECTOR! ANY QUESTIONS? WOULD I LOOK CUTE AS A BLONDE? WHY DO CATS PURR? WHO'S CHUBBIER-- PERRY MASON OR SCOTTY ON STAR TREK? GOOD LUCK, WARNERS.
THANK YOU, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, WAKKO, LET'S ROLL! OOPS.
SORRY.
HA HA HA! WE BEGAN OUR JOURNEY TO SOUND STAGE 64.
WAKKO DROVE.
THEN I DECIDED TO DRIVE.
THIS IS THE MIDDLE THE MIDDLE OF OUR STORY THE MIDDLE WE PUSHED OUR WAY INTO THE VERY HEART THE STUDIO.
THE SIGHTS WE SAW AAH! AAH! THE CARNAGE THE DESTRUCTION THE SENSELESS VIOLENCE THE HORROR AAH! AAH! AAH! THE HORROR.
FINALLY, OUR JOURNEY WAS OVER.
THERE IT WAS-- SOUND STAGE 64.
CAREFUL, SIBS.
THERE COULD BE A TRAP AROUND HERE.
THANK YOU, AMAZING KRESKIN.
WE HAD BEEN CAPTURED BY THE MISSING ACCOUNTANTS, NOW DISCIPLES OF THE DIRECTOR.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
STOP WITH THE CHANTING! BRAVO! ENCORE! FABU! DID YOU CHOREOGRAPH THAT? YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD.
WHO ARE YOU THAT HAVE COME HERE, MAN? WE'RE HERE TO STOP THE DIRECTOR.
HA HA HA! STOP HIM, MAN? WHOA! WRONG! WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS? HE'S THE THINKER, TINKER, PLOTTER, PLANNER, THE GENIUS! IN FRANCE, HE'S KING THERE, MAN.
COMEDY'S HIS CROWN.
HE RULES WITH FUNNY WORDS.
FUNNY WORDS LIKE FROYNLAVEN! AAH! HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS ENDING.
YOU'RE STAYING THERE TILL HE DOES.
LET ME HANDLE THIS.
OH, MR.
CRAZY PERSON? ALL WE WANT TO DO IS GIVE THE DIRECTOR A BIG SMOOSHY KISS AND SAY HI.
WHOA.
YOU'RE CUTE, MAN.
YOU GOT THIS CUTE "DON'T MAKE ME STAY HERE" THING HAPPENING.
PLEASE LET US OU OF THE CAGEY-WAGEY.
YOU'RE WORKING YOUR WEIRDNESS ON ME, MAN, YOUR CUTE WEIRDNESS.
O.
K.
I'LL LET YOU OUT.
SOME GIRLS GOT IT, SOME GIRLS DON'T.
FIRST YOU GOT TO SAY THE PASSWORD.
NOBODY SEES THE DIRECTOR UNLESS THEY KNOW THE PASSWORD.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
WOULD IT BEFROYNLAVEN? WHOA.
THEY HAVE SPOKEN FROYNLAVEN! GO IN, WE SHOULD LET THEM.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
HOW'D YOU KNOW? IT CAME TO ME.
FROYNLAVEN.
FROYNLAVEN.
WHAT'LL YOU DO WITH THOSE? NOTHING.
IT'S JUST FUN.
I SEE HIM.
COME ON.
THE WRETCHED CLOWN, THE ENDING SCENE.
TAKE 6,437.
AND ACTION.
I SAW A SNAIL SLITHERING ACROSS A RAILROAD TRACK.
OOEY GOOEY WAS HIS NAME.
[GULP.]
OHH! I ATE A BUG! CUT! CUT! A BUG, I ATE, WITH LITTLE WINGS.
BLEAH! EVERYBODY TAKE FIVE.
I NEED TO BE ALONE.
GET OUT! I GOT TO POSTULATE A NEW ENDING.
ENDING.
ENDING.
HI THERE.
AAH! DON'T WITH THE SCARING! IT'S NOT GOOD.
ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT? WHO ARE YOU? I WANT ANSWERS.
WE'RE THE WARNER BROTHERS.
AND THE WARNER SISTER.
HEADS WILL ROLL FOR THIS INFRINGEMENT.
THIS I PROMISE.
HMM.
HMM.
HMM.
I DON'T SIGN AUTOGRAPHS.
IT CHEAPENS US BOTH-- ME, THE ARTIST, YOU THEWHATEVER.
NOW SCOOT.
AAH! HOW'D YOU, WITH THE GOING-- YOU WERE THERE, BUT HERE NOW.
HOW'D YOU DO? YOU UNDERSTAND ANY OF THAT? HE SAID HOW'D YOU, WITH THE GOING-- YOU WERE THERE, BUT HERE NOW.
HOW'D YOU DO? THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT.
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I SAY THIS-- LEAVE ALREADY! OHH! AGAIN WITH THE POPPING AND SCARING.
WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE? THE C.
E.
O.
MR.
PLOTZ SENT US.
WE HAVE TO STOP YOUR MOVIE.
STOP THE MOV-- THE THING ON FILM? IT'S NOT FINISHED.
I DON'T HAVE AN ENDING.
I WON'T LET YOU.
DON'T MAKE US USE THESE.
FROYNLAVEN! FROYNLAVEN! YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME.
NOT UNTIL THERE'S AN ENDING.
IT'S OVER.
IT'S NOT.
O.
K.
SO IT'S NOT OVER.
I MIGHT HAVE AN ENDING FOR YOUR MOVIE.
AN ENDING THAT A PERSON LIKE ME COULD HAVE TO DO? WHAT IS IT, NICE BOY WITH NO EYEBROWS? O.
K.
I'M READY FOR MY ENDING! YOU WANT IT? OOH, YEAH! YOU REALLY WANT IT? YEAH.
GIVE.
FROYNLAVEN! ANDACTION.
UGGGGHHH! THAT'S AN ENDING? THE MICROPHONE WAS IN THE SHOT.
O.
K.
, EVERYBODY, LET'S DO IT AGAIN! OH, I DON'T WANT THAT.
ANDACTION! THE HURTING THE HURTING.
CUT.
PRINT.
THAT'S A WRAP.
LET'S GO HOME.
THAT'S THE ENDING THE ENDING OF OUR STORY THE ENDING THAT'S THE ENDING THE ENDING OF OUR-- OOF! THAT'S THE ENDING THE ENDING THE ENDING THE ENDING AS FAR BACK AS BOBBY COULD REMEMBER, HE WANTED TO BE IN THE MOVIES.
BOBBY SAID WE COULD GET PARTS IN THE BOIDS.
WHY? BECAUSE WE WERE BOIDS.
BOTTA-BING.
THIS IS IT.
WE'RE GOING TO BE STARS.
WE'RE GOING TO BE SOMEBODIES.
YOU CAN'T WALK ON A SE WITH NO EXPERIENCE AND EXPECT TO BE HIRED.
THIS IS HOLLYWOOD-- LAND OF NO REALITY.
KEEP YOUR REALITY CHECKS TO YOURSELF, DING-DONG.
[SQUISH.]
[COO.]
SHOW BIZ.
YOU REALLY DO GOT TO START AT THE BOTTOM.
THE DIRECTOR WAS SO IMPRESSED WITH US, HE HIRED US AS STUNT BIRDS.
DID YOU TAKE MY SEED? DID YOU TAKE MY SEED? YEAH, I TOOK YOUR SEED.
I ATE IT, AND I'M DIGESTING IT.
OH, YEAH? DIGEST THIS, YOU FEATHER-FANNY.
TAKE BOBBY'S SEED, I'LL PECK YOU TILL TUESDAY.
PLACES! HMM.
FORGET ABOUT IT.
THAT BIRD'S A NOBODY.
YEAH AND WE WERE SOMEBODIES.
I NEED A MANICURE.
GOOD EVENING.
SCENE 50, TAKE 1.
ANDACTION.
MAKE ROOM ON THE PERCH.
YOU'RE NOT IN THIS SHOT, BIRDBRAINS.
WE'RE IN EVERY SHOT, YOU BEAKY WALNUT EATER.
YOU GOT PROBLEMS WITH THAT? TOUGH! [SQUAWK.]
CUT.
BAD EVENING.
WHO CUED THE STUNT BIRDS? WHO CUED THE STUNT BIRDS? I DIDN'T.
GET THE DONUTS TO THE SET.
OHH! YOU GOODFEATHERS STINK.
WE STINK? EXCUSE ME.
WE STINK? WHY NOT TAKE SOME ACTING LESSONS? WE DO NOT STINK IN THIS PICTURE.
O.
K.
, BOYS, IF YOU SAY SO.
WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM GRIEF, CAWCAW? BECAUSE I ENJOY BEING RUDE.
IT'S MY JOB.
I'M A STAR, CHARLIE.
AAH! AAH! CUT.
BRING IN THE STUNT BIRD.
AND ACTION! AAH! AAH! BOTTA BING.
YOU'RE LOOKING A THE NEW KING OF SHOW BIZ.
AND ACTION! AAH! [SCREECHING.]
CUT! NORMAN, ON ACTION, YOU WILL LAUNCH THE STUNT BIRDS.
I'M ASKING YOU, IS THIS THE GOOD LIFE? ACTION! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! CUT! SOUND PROBLEM.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
QUICK! QUICK! ACTION! WHOA! CUT! GOOD.
BUT LET'S DO IT AGAIN WITH FEELING.
ACTION! CUT! WE GOT IT.
PLACES FOR THE FIREPLACE SEQUENCE.
YOUR BEAK'S IN MY EYE! THAT BETTER BE YOUR FOOT.
I LIKE YOUR COSTUME, PESTO.
ANDACTION! SORRY! AH CUT.
BEING A BIG-TIME STUNT BIRD IS PAINFUL.
CAN WE QUIT, GUYS, WHILE WE'RE STILL ALIVE? I DON'T MIND THE PAIN.
I LIKE IT.
I'M A SOMEBODY.
AM I TALKIN' TO ME? AM I TALKIN' TO ME? UHH THOSE PIGEONS ARE BIG-TIME LOSERS.
US, LOSERS? AIN'T IT HILARIOUS WATCHING THEM SUFFER? THOSE BIRDS WILL QUI BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER.
HA HA HA! ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? YEAH, I'M LAUGHING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE THE VICTIM OF SELF-DELUSION, AND I THINK IT'S FUNNY.
SEE IF YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, WING-DING.
HERE COMES JOHNNY! HA HA HA! THAT CROW WAS JUST JEALOUS.
THAT BIG BUZZARD WAS JUST THREATENED BY OUR ACTING VERSATILITY.
AND OUR GOOD LOOKS, RIGHT? YEAH.
GET USED TO IT.
US STARS GOT TO PUT UP WITH STUFF LIKE THAT.
HEY, BOBBY KNOWS THIS INDUSTRY.
HEY, WHAT'D I DO? NOTHING.
I JUST FEL LIKE WHACKING SOMETHING.
GOOD EVENING.
AND ACTION.
[SCREECHING.]
OW! UHH! OW! OW! UGH! OW! I'VE HI THE BIG TIME.
UGH! I'M A BOX OFFICE SMASH.
I HAVE NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE.
I LOVE BEING A STUNT BIRD.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
I QUIT.
I'M WITH YOU.
OH, YOU POOR THINGS.
IF YOU WERE THE STARS LIKE US, YOU COULD JUST SI AND BE PRETTY AND NEVER GET HURT.
YOU MUST BE CHIRPIN' TO ME.
I JUST GO A RUSH OF BRAINS TO THE HEAD.
PLACES FOR SCENE 207, TAKE 103.
AND ACTION! WE'RE NOT THE FALL BIRDS NO MORE, GOODFEATHERS.
WE ARE SAFE IN A GILDED CAGE.
LET ME HELP YOU INTO THE CAR, DEAR.
[COO.]
WE'RE STARS NOW, BOBBY.
I GUESS WE ARE.
I HOPE WE DIDN' FORGET ANYTHING.
WE'RE OFF.
THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
WE HAD A SHORT, ONE-DAY CAREER IN THE MOVIES.
BUT, HEY, AS BOBBY WOULD SAY, IT'S BETTER TO BE SOMEBODY FOR A DAY THAN A NOBODY FOR A LIFETIME.
FLAMMEEL!