800 Words (2015) s02e01 Episode Script

1 ('BETTER BE HOME SOON' BY CROWDED HOUSE) SONG: Somewhere deep inside Something's got a hold on you And it's pushing me aside See it stretch on forever And I know I'm right For the first time in my life GEORGE: I'm glad I'm came over.
Thanks for bringing my stuff.
Well, you left in such a hurry, it's the least I can do.
Anything else you want sent over, just sing out.
I'm fine.
Grandma Trish has been more than happy to buy me things.
Yeah, I bet.
Do you miss Sydney? Yeah, of course.
That's why it'll be good to come and visit.
Yeah.
I'm not sure when the next time will be, though.
Things are pretty full-on at the moment.
In Weld? Yeah, believe it or not.
With Jan.
Yeah, with Jan.
Your mother loved this school.
I know.
I sit in assembly looking at her name on the Honours Board.
Yeah.
It did love her back.
I'm not her, Dad.
I know.
Oh, Arlo texted, and the internet's up and running again.
Have you seriously got fibre now? Yeah, yeah, Zac and I could be pretty much living at our place, getting it up and running.
Ike asked after you a few times.
I hope you told him I'm fine.
I did.
'Cause I am.
Yeah, I know.
I can see that.
Well, I better get going.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Just as long as you're happy, OK? Thank you.
Go.
(CHUCKLES) I can't do this anymore.
But did you stick to the plan? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did.
Pretty sure? Is that a yes or a no? Yes.
Yeah, it's a yes.
But with every breath, all I wanted to do was say, "Please come home.
We love you and we miss you.
" And we agreed that that would never ever work because Shay is a stubborn cow.
Your words, not mine.
What did we agree on, Dad? That Shay needs to want to come home of her own accord.
I know.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Did you tell her about the internet? Yes, I told her about the internet.
OK, good.
Good.
Then, your job is done and I can finally break radio silence.
Are we doing the right thing here? Well that very much depends on Shay, doesn't it? (EXCITED LAUGHTER) Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh.
Hey-oh! (WOMAN SCREAMS) BILLY: Cool.
No, Billy, not cool.
Listen to what Constable Tom has to say.
Ahem! A timely reminder of the destructive properties of gunpowder.
If this letterbox had been a human being, what do you think the result would have been? Death.
Not necessarily instant.
Possibly slow and painful.
Yes, Siouxsie, thank you.
But only if the fireworks had have been in the head.
Last year, or in your case, Monty, over multiple years, I've had to speak to each and every one of you about the gross misuse of our legal right to blow stuff up once a year.
I was only trying to put on a bit of a show for the customers.
You work in a petrol station, Ollie.
Look, I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm being singled out here.
Really, Monty? The 'wave of mutilation' the 'drone of carnage'.
What have you got planned this year? Nothing.
(SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE) And that's me.
Excuse me.
Why did you blow up our letterbox? To remind certain law breakers of the fragility of life.
Here endeth the lesson.
You may go.
Um Yes, young Billy? When do the fireworks go on sale? Oh, as soon as I get there.
(CHUCKLES) The hot new release this year is the Dragon's Mother Cluster Shower.
Word is it really goes off.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Dear God.
Hey, you know, you could have warned us.
Did you not tell them? Yeah.
No.
Oh, been real busy lately.
Sorry, it slipped my mind.
Anyway, thanks for the use of the um I'll build you another one.
SONG: Now the sun is out It's warming up between us We've got to keep the faith G'day, George.
Monty.
So love can never leave us Sweet lover, well, you know what I like Don't stop it 'cause it's gonna be alright Be safe and don't tell your mother.
We're not friends if you don't have time It's like Johnny Cash and the ties that bind If you think you'll never walk the line, you're dreaming You're dreaming about living in a tree-lined street Kicking up leaves with the same two feet as before You don't want to be lonely anymore Now the sun is out It's warming up between us Whoa! (TYRES SCREECH) Damn! (CLUNK!) (ENGAGES HANDBRAKE) God, I am SO sorry.
It rolled off the back of the trailer.
I feel like we've been here before.
What? Well (LAUGHS) Oh, right.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Except this one's only papier-mache.
Oh For the guy.
How did your trip go? OK, I think.
You didn't drag her back, kicking and screaming? No, that wasn't the plan.
So you have a plan? In a manner of speaking.
Which guy is this for? The one that goes on the bonfire.
You and Jan are coming.
Oh, are we? Yeah, of course.
Could you give me a hand to get this back on the trailer? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
(LAUGHS) There we go.
(PHONE RINGS) And he's back.
Hey, ugly blister.
And suddenly I miss not being able to contact you.
Yeah.
I mean the wi-fi here is really fast now.
Glad something in Weld is.
Where are you? Are you at school? It doesn't look like school.
I didn't really feel like school today.
Where are you? I'm at home, in your room.
Well, we call it the spare room now.
But, hey, check this out.
Woody kind of went nuts.
A whole new wardrobe thingy, new wallpaper, curtains and stuff.
Yeah, and the door even shuts.
Arlo, I'm not coming back just because you've done up my room.
Well, it's not your room.
It's the spare room.
And, hey, check this out.
Dad was over the state of the shower and got Bill McNamara in to fix it.
And they stripped out the whole thing and started again.
I mean, it's not as good as where you are, but by Weld standards, it's pretty awesome.
Dad seems happy.
He's not.
Not as happy as he should be.
I have to go.
I've got exams.
Good luck with those.
Ta.
And good luck with whatever it is you're doing over there.
Stuff.
Yeah.
Good luck with stuff.
(DISCONNECTED SIGNAL) GEORGE NARRATES: There are two types of combustion - explosion and implosion.
Both, however, lead to the same end result.
Radical change in a very short space of time.
Did you not know this about Kiwis? Yeah, they take Guy Fawkes to whole new levels.
From the sound of it, they'll blow pretty much anything up.
Including our letterbox, apparently.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, I vaguely remember that from when I was a kid.
This cannot end well.
(GEORGE LAUGHS) Hey.
Hey.
How was Sydney? It felt very brief.
Shay's OK? She's She's fine.
Good.
And it's good you got to talk to her.
Yeah, it is.
Missed you.
You too.
And how about you, what did you get up to while I was away? Oh, I um I made lots of new friends.
Really? Yeah.
Learnt all sorts of things.
Hello.
Oh hi.
Uh This is the famous nudie beach.
Sure is.
You're welcome to join.
No, it's fine.
Thanks.
You have a nice day.
You used to be Laura's best friend, eh? Hannah! You don't just blurt out a question like that.
What? I'm just getting to know our newest resident.
Is that what I am? Well, I don't know.
Are you? George is in Sydney, right? Yeah, he's taking some of Shay's stuff over to her.
She did leave in rather a hurry.
She did.
And then you arrived.
I did.
Yep, I'm practically a local now.
Great.
Welcome to Weld.
Thank you.
(SIGHS) Whoo, sorry.
The flying and that little time difference always hits you more than you think it will.
You should have a lie-down.
Yeah, I think I will.
It's good to have you home, though.
Yeah, it's good to be home.
(CHUCKLES) GEORGE NARRATES: Guy Fawkes, the man whose memory these insane Kiwis celebrate every year by burning him in effigy, was a radical seeking change by blowing the living daylights out of the world as he knew it.
For most of us, however, change comes much slower Creeping up on us without us realising the process is actually happening.
(FIREWORKS EXPLODING, SKYROCKETS WHISTLING) Sure, sounds great.
Why would you set off fireworks in the daytime? You can't see all the pretty sparkly bits.
Maybe they just like the sound.
Then go live in a war zone.
(LAUGHS) OK, I'll see you then.
That was Big Mac.
He wants me to have lunch with him.
Really? What for? I have no idea.
But he assures me he's paying.
An actual free lunch.
Hmm.
That was some mighty fine sleeping there, George Turner.
I must have been more tired than I thought.
Well, you must be pretty emotionally drained.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Dad, you remember we have parent-teacher interviews today, right? I'll grab a shower and I'm all over it.
Should I come? No.
Um it's more a parent, teacher thing.
Of course.
I'm sorry about that.
You have lunch.
Free lunches are a rare beast these days, eh? So you're saying he's already passed this NAEC NCEA, Dad.
Oh National Certificate of Educational Achievement.
And, yes! Even before the exams? Yes! But no.
Yeah, if I don't sit the exams, I'll fail.
What if you fail the exam? I'll still pass.
It's peculiar to New Zealand.
Like this thing they have for Guy Fawkes.
Oh my god! Don't you just love Guy Fawkes? I mean, I admit the first year I was terrified.
It's like the world was exploding around me.
Especially because that was the year that Monty unveiled the Crown of Fire.
MONTY: Ow, ow, ow! Bad idea.
Bad idea.
Dad, I can't put you out if you keep running away.
Oh, god! Sorry.
Arlo, this is about your studies.
We're expecting excellence endorsements, which is unheard of for Weld District High School, to be honest.
That's great.
Great.
And what about Shay? How is she? Pretty miserable, actually.
Which is a good thing.
She has to hit rock bottom for things to pan out.
Pan out? What Arlo means is that Shay has made a big decision and she has to own it.
I guess.
GIRL: You can't tell me what to do.
MAN: Of course I can.
I'm your bloody father.
But you don't get it.
You're failing everything, Lindsay.
What's not to get? I tried, but it's hard.
Oh, don't give me that.
The only thing you try hard at is partying.
Come on.
You know what you need.
You need a boot up your ar Bill.
George.
That's what you need.
I've had it up to here, Lindsay.
Next year, girl, you're going to boarding school, just like your brother.
That was a great report, Arlo.
Clearly you've got your mother's brains.
(CHUCKLES) Uh, Dad, I just realised I've got stuff I need to do in the library.
I'll um You go.
I'll walk home later.
It's OK.
I don't mind waiting.
No, no, honestly.
I'll see you at home.
I think what your dad was saying was really uncool.
So? It's nothing new.
So perhaps I could help.
How? I could help you study.
Maybe if you pass, he'll change his mind.
He's a bully.
It won't make any difference.
It might.
You come from a nice family.
Don't even pretend to understand.
Most people drink alone under the cover of darkness.
I'm meeting someone.
Oh Big Mac, for lunch.
Should I be worried? Did he say why the lunch? No.
Maybe he thinks you're single and he wants to put his love moves on you.
Ooh.
Why would he think I'm single? Maybe word hasn't reached him you're with George.
Am I with George? Well, aren't you? Ladies.
Jan, how lovely to see you.
It is not Big Mac.
Right.
It just looks like Big Mac.
(WOODY LAUGHS) It's all go here.
Oh, mate, us Weldians fully embrace the big GFN.
GFN? Yeah, Guy Fawkes Night.
Oh.
The night that's like catnip to the people of the world.
Magic, explosions primal.
Primal.
If you say so, Zac.
Ignore him, George.
All my kids arrived into the world nine months after the GFN.
Isn't that right, Katie? Whoo-hoo-hoo! Go away.
52% of all birthdays in Weld occur nine months after Guy Fawkes.
That is not true.
It is.
I did a statistics project on it.
The fireworks go off, the people go off, and babies get made.
Well, to be fair, Billy was conceived in those sand dunes over there.
Probably too much information.
Yeah, maybe.
Look, all I'm saying is you should watch out.
Because with the power of Guy Fawkes tomorrow night, Arlo might end up with a little brother in nine months' time.
(LAUGHS) Thanks for the warning, Billy.
That's Big Mac, isn't it? What? No! It's just a guy.
Yeah, right.
I want details.
Is Shay OK? Yeah, she's fine.
Actually, she's not fine.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
No, no, no, that's good.
That's good.
'Cause that goes in with how Arlo and George are making out life's totally fine without her.
Operation Shay, we're calling it.
Woody, remember that conversation that you, me and Arlo had about keeping Operation Shay strictly between us? I do now, yeah.
And if I'm done here, I need to fix a letterbox Yeah.
.
.
quite urgent.
Sorry.
Are you sure reverse psychology is the wisest option? I'm not sure of anything, to be honest.
And I'm aware of the hundred different ways this could backfire.
But I miss my daughter every minute of every day and I've got to do something to get her back.
Can you blame me? Of course not.
I'll see you later.
(RINGTONE) Hi.
Is that George? Yeah.
Hello, person who's not Noah.
Hi.
No.
I am Taylor-Rose, your assistant editor.
Oh.
What happened to Noah? You so don't want to know.
Try me.
Let's just say an unfortunate incident involving social media.
There are photos that you really shouldn't ever take, let alone post.
Go, Noah.
But you have me now.
I do.
And what can I do for you Taylor-Rose? First thing I want to say is how much I have admired your column.
Is that so? You have done like an amazing job for so long now.
Your use of the past tense suggests that you're softening me up for some bad news.
There's no such thing as bad news, George.
Oh, yes, there is.
Bad news can be the same as a new beginning.
And the good news is, you actually get to decide when your final column is.
My final column? Either this week or next week's.
It's probably not gonna be possible after that.
But at least you get some choice with what fits with your creative flow.
Is it possible to speak with my actual editor? If you can find her, totes.
Apparently she's on special leave.
Disappeared over a month ago.
No-one can get hold of her.
Are you referring to Jan? Jan, Jane, June - some old-fashioned name like that.
No, no, it's Jan.
Is she still editor? Unclear.
Noah reckoned there was some kind of breakdown - a thing with one of the bosses - maybe an affair.
And meanwhile I'm being fired? Don't think of it like that.
But how else am I supposed to think of it? I'm a really big fan of the conscious uncoupling thing.
Well, I'll get back to you about my final column.
JAN: Hello? How was the free lunch? Not entirely free.
There was a catch.
He offered me a job - editing 'News of the Weld'.
Hell, maybe I'll buy the 'Step and Star'then you can edit them both.
I mean, you are clearly the best man for the job.
(LAUGHS) Wow.
That's me, George - best man for the job.
Intriguing.
Meanwhile, I was having an interesting conversation with Taylor-Rose.
Who is Taylor-Rose and should I be jealous of her and her double-barrelled name? Maybe, 'cause she was sitting in your chair when she called.
She's from the magazine? While you were being wined and dined and offered a job I was losing mine.
Those bastards.
You do realise that you're still editor of said bastards, right? Really? I was under the impression that you'd left your Sydney position.
I did.
I think they're just scared of legal action.
Why? From the affair.
What affair? The one I was having with my boss.
Oh.
And, uh how long were you having this affair with your boss? Years.
Until he ended it because his heinous wife is pregnant.
Is that why you came here? Yeah.
But why didn't you tell me? You had your own problems.
Yeah, but if we're gonna, you know, we need to be able to talk to each other about stuff like that.
Really, George? Then why didn't you tell me about Operation Shay? How do you know about Operation Woody.
Well, you did leave me alone in the house with him.
I mean, what were you Were you worried that I was gonna say that toying with a teenage girl's emotions is a very dangerous thing to do? We decided, Arlo and I, that we would keep it in the family.
And Woody, of course, because he needed to do all the work All of which begs the question am I a part of this family or not? Man, there is enough gunpowder in this town to blow us back to Sydney.
Damn, I, uh cut off my credit card.
I might go for a surf.
Wait.
Is there a problem here? All good.
Have you Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that hasn't begun? What, like you think it's gonna begin and then it never does? No, as in you skipped the beginning and went straight to the middle.
Nope.
I mean, I have my trouble beginning relationships.
If they start at all, it's a bloody miracle.
Yeah, but if they did could you end something that hasn't begun? But what we're talking about has most definitely begun, right? (HESITANTLY) Yes.
You are now in a relationship with a man in Weld, who is not the man you were having an affair with in Sydney last month? Yeah, sort of.
Nice work.
What do you mean "Sort of"? I mean, it's not what I came here to do.
But it's what happened when you came here.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Whatever 'it' is.
Wha You don't know what it is? No.
I have no idea.
Is there magic? I think we skipped the magic bit and went straight to the 'Hi, honey.
How was your day?' bit.
So you're not in love with Jan? Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
As a friend.
Great.
I mean, that's the best kind of love.
It's not ideal, is it? Men are not mind-readers, Jan.
They need you to tell them what they want.
And what you want.
You know, down a bit, to the side, slow it down.
There are bigger issues here than sex, Hannah.
Are there? Jan? The sex is lovely.
Wow.
That is one of the most depressing things I've ever heard.
Just ignore her.
It's not how these things start.
It's how they finish that's important.
And you shouldn't feel afraid of pressing George for an answer.
What's the question? Does he love you.
So is there anything wrong with just letting it happen? Well, that's what I've been doing thus far and how I find myself in this curious situation.
And it's not working for you, is it? No.
Hey, peasants.
How's it going? I'm studying for exams I've already passed.
I love New Zealand.
What's happening with you? Uh not much.
Living the dream, eh? Dad make it home OK? Yeah, just in time for their first fight.
Him and Jan? What were they fighting about? No idea.
I just walked in on the icy aftermath.
What does it matter to you anyway? It's Dad.
Of course it matters to me.
Yeah, from a distance.
IKE: Hey, Arlo.
Oh, dear.
What? Hey, sorry to bust in, bro, but, uh I need your help.
Hey, Shay! OK.
Yep, still not her favourite person, eh? Yeah, no.
(EXHALES) So what are you doing in my room? Like I said, I need your help.
OK, you can let go now.
Yeah.
Your sister never held on that tight.
Well, it may seem old-fashioned, but I value life.
What's this about? All will be revealed.
I thought you were getting something useful, like alcohol to ease my pain.
Lindsay Oh, man She's She's run away from home.
Right.
And moved in with you? In that she's occupying my caravan, yes.
OK.
And why is this my problem? Well, she said something about you saying that she should stand up to her father.
Yeah, by studying.
Not by throwing herself at you.
I don't want her.
Um I can hear you.
Yeah, great, then you get that I'm not interested in you.
She's in Sydney, Ike.
Yeah, and you're in my room, and I want you out.
OK, uh Lindsay, I think it's really cool that you're doing something about your dad, 'cause he's a real douche.
You got that right.
Yeah, but, this isn't the way.
Exactly.
'Cause when my dad gets back, he's gonna throw your ass out.
I'm not going home! Hey, well, um if you want, you could come stay at our place until things get sorted out.
You're just saying that 'cause you want to hit on me.
No.
No, I'm saying it 'cause I wanna help.
And we have a spare room, so OK, that can work.
But I am not sleeping with you.
Oh, no, no, not gonna happen.
That's fine.
I get it.
GEORGE NARRATES: There is an inevitably that occurs when certain elements mix.
The Chinese discovered this and called it gunpowder.
By adding a spark, there's no way to avoid an explosion.
(PHONE RINGS) Hello.
You need to come down to the boat club now.
Why? So I don't lose my liquor license.
I am about to redefine your sensory experience of what a mojito means.
(CHEERING) Whoo-hoo! Well, anyway Tom? Get in line for the best mojito this side of Tassie.
(CHEERING) Get in line.
Whoo! This is about fireworks etiquette, isn't it? Hopefully to drive the point home.
It's all good, Tom.
This is a full and final warning, Monty.
There can be no repeat of the 'drone of carnage'.
This thing's really hard to fly.
(SHOUTING) No, you're doing great, Dad.
Or the 'wave of mutilation'.
That was meant to be an oceanic extravaganza.
How were were to know that a wave was gonna come along and angle the board and fireworks at the crowd, and then propel it towards the beach at a rate of knots? Not entirely according to plan.
No, it's great, Dad.
It's a surf beach, Monty.
And waves do what waves do.
This year - nothing.
Do you hear me? The crowds love it, Tom.
As they flee in terror.
Deep down they love it.
And you you're worse than him.
You enable him.
He has a gift.
Not this year he doesn't.
The Janito! Whoo! (CHEERING) She's a keeper, this one, George.
Oh, my.
Deja vu in reverse.
When I first laid eyes on George, he was the barman, serving me and my dear friend Laura.
Remember? Hmm? And he was so handsome and suave.
And, oh, she fell for him so hard.
Yeah, thanks, Jan.
I remember that.
You're here to take me home, aren't you? No! No, you're not, are you? Not without sampling your finest Janito first.
(CHEERING) Um, that may not be entirely possible.
Me? I see nothing.
You know, she's a lot more fun than I thought she'd be.
Yeah, she is.
She's always been like that - fun.
A fun friend.
MAN: (SHOUTS) George Turner! Bill Jr.
Can I help you? Like you did for my daughter.
Excuse me? It's called kidnapping, mate! I am not going with you.
You don't get to decide.
I'm my own person.
You're 16.
And I don't want to be living with someone who's always telling me what to do! I'm your father - that's my job! You, get in the car, you're comin' home.
No! You wanted to send me away, well, now I'm away.
Hey, can I say something here? I think you've said about enough, luring my girl here.
No-one lured anyone anywhere.
I just think it might be a good idea to let Lindsay stay here for a while.
I can help her study.
Study how to get into her pants? No, mate, that's not on Come on, Tom, I know what teenage boys are like.
Not my son.
I just want to help.
Honestly.
And this is what you want, is it? Yes.
And you're OK with this? I think what's done is done.
Fine.
She's your problem, then.
Right, clearly not a kidnapping so I will leave you people to it.
Cool! We can go and get my clothes tomorrow when he's at work.
We had a spare room Yes, we did.
ARLO: Hey! SHAY: Hey.
Uh, what's up? Just about to ask you the same question.
What was Ike's problem? What does that matter to you? Just curious, that's all.
Where are the towels? I want to take a shower when your dad's girlfriend's finished hurling.
Hey, Shay! How's Sydney? Uh cupboard just outside the bathroom.
OK.
Why is that skank in my house? She's kind of living with us now.
With you? No.
No, not like that.
Just with us.
In my room.
It's not your room.
It's the spare room.
II have to go.
(DISCONNECTED SIGNAL) Jan sure tied one on last night, eh? For which she is paying the price.
(LAUGHS) Hey, that hole in the ceiling above my bed Yeah, yeah, yeah, top of my priority list, straight after the letterbox.
Hey, did she chunder? Oh, yes.
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
Did you do that kind thing where you held her hair back over the bowl? She seemed to have it under control.
Oh, right.
That speaks volumes.
Does it? Yeah, well, you're in a relationship that can't be named.
What does that mean? Waves are like relationships.
OK, they roll in sometimes but they don't stick around.
Not unless you ask them to.
That makes no sense, Woody.
Waves don't even stick around even if you ask them to.
Exactly.
Laura's gone, George.
Yeah, I'm fully aware of that, thanks, Woody.
No, no, no, no.
I mean she's a treasured memory, right? That's who she is.
Safely encased in the warm embrace of your heart.
Yeah, well, I'd like to think so.
Yeah, well, Jan can't ever be Laura.
It's different, mate.
But just because it's different, doesn't mean it's bad.
I never said it was bad.
Well, so, it's good, then? I don't know.
We're just two friends who Blurred the lines of friendship? Oh, well, look, you can always surf the foam.
The what? Big waves, small waves - they're all still waves.
The question you've got to ask yourself is - are you catching the wave or are you gonna let it go? (ARLO SIGHS) (BANGING) How does a woman of your age not suffer from a hangover? With age comes experience.
Mmm.
Yeah, I was told that spewing can alleviate the symptoms.
Is that true? Some of us are born with an iron constitution.
Mmm.
Hey.
How was the surf? Didn't quite make it.
Oh, well, never mind.
Bacon and eggs, help yourselves.
Excuse me.
Be kind.
I am getting too old for this.
So you do have a hangover.
Of biblical proportions.
GEORGE NARRATES: The expectations of fireworks can in itself be a problem.
They're expected to be loud, colourful, exciting.
But some fireworks disappoint.
They don't live up to their label and the expectations we place upon them.
Unfortunately, until you light the fuse You don't really know what you're gonna get.
I love the calm before the storm.
Pity there has to be a storm.
Any, um, similarity is entirely coincidental.
We're wearing the exact same shirt.
Artistic Zeitgeist.
Guy Fawkes was an English Catholic, who, in 1605, wanted to blow up parliament to assassinate King James I and then install a Catholic king onto the throne.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, but he was caught and executed.
Well, he committed suicide.
Um, which is why we burn an effigy of him every single year to remind us of the value of democracy.
So, why does that make everyone want to bonk in the sandhills? That's a very good question.
Maybe the colourful fireworks reminds people of the warm feelings they have for each other.
I think it just makes them horny.
Yeah.
(FIREWORKS EXPLODING, SKYROCKETS WHISTLING) I love the smell of gunpowder in the evening.
Are you feeling better? Sorry.
I don't seem to bounce back quite as easily as I used to.
Do you feel up to the celebrations? The bonfire thing? You want to go? Why not? You want me to come? Of course.
But you're not sure in what capacity.
That's the thing.
I don't know what we are.
Does it have to be a big deal? It has to be something.
You mean are we a couple? Or are we just friends with benefits? Whatever it is I feel like somewhere along the way I lost a really good friend.
Me too.
And I want her back.
Me too.
Because ever since we Did the Yeah, I know.
.
.
it's been so damned awkward.
Hasn't it? I mean, like so awkward.
(SIGHS) God, that feels good to say.
Doesn't it? (LAUGHS) How old do you feel right now? Hey, I don't want to be a teenager again.
No, no, we're way too old for that.
Yeah.
You know, uh I have spent far too much of my life wanting to be Laura.
Having what she had.
I thought maybe But I'm never gonna have what she had and and that's OK, because I'm not her.
And I love you the way you are.
Let's leave love out of it, George.
Neither of us were looking for that.
Yeah, you're probably right.
And, you know, as um curious and quaint and funny as this lovely little town Weld is it isn't me.
I have to accept I am unashamedly a big-city girl.
So in answer to your question, let's let's go to this crazy Guy Fawkes night as friends.
(POWERFUL MUSIC) I'm sure it was meant as a compliment.
(LAUGHS) Bloody cack-handed compliment.
You know, the irony is that Guy Fawkes' execution was never gonna be a burning at the stake.
It was a standard hanging followed by being drawn and quartered.
Uh-huh.
Makes you think, eh? Not really.
Aren't they pretty, Sean? Just like you, Brenda.
Oh, Sparklers! I love Sparklers.
Hey! (LAUGHTER AND SHOUTING) "I am your father!" Dad And here I was thinking you were in dire need of my help.
OK, so here's the deal.
I'm back for as long as I want to stay.
I'm not going to school.
I'm done with all that.
And I'm taking my room back.
But what about me? I don't care.
You can have my room.
In your dreams.
No, I mean, you have my room.
I'll sleep on the couch.
Sounds doable.
And, uh, you may need to pay Grandpa back for the flight.
I might have used his credit card.
And, uh, for the taxi here, so You took a taxi from the airport? How else was I meant to get here? Uh I could have come got you.
Don't get your hopes up.
That I'm back has nothing to do with you.
So do we have a deal? Do Roger and Trish know you're here? They're probably figuring it out about now.
You are telling them, not me.
Fair enough.
OK.
SONG: Welcome home I bid you welcome I bid you welcome (GEORGE GROWLS) Welcome home Where is he? Who? Monty.
I know of no-one by that name.
But if you mean El Montero, the human skyrocket he's over there.
(LAUGHTER) (LAUGHS) Go, Monty! ('SUPERMAN' THEME MUSIC) (MONTY LAUGHS AND SHOUTS) (CHEERING) WOMAN: Go, Monty! Is that wise? (CLUNK!) Ooh! (GROANS) (CROWD GASPS) TOM: Lookout, guys.
Get out of the way! Everyone stay calm! Whoa! ('SUPERMAN' THEME MUSIC SLOWS) Not entirely to plan.
But good possibilities.
You'll get 'em next year, Dad.
Alright, so nothing's really changed here, I see.
Not really.
Hardly anything.
GEORGE NARRATES: With fireworks, we make the dark side of humanity pretty.
Amidst all this remains the simple fact that sometimes we have to blow things up to clear the air And start again.
I like what you've done with my room, by the way.
Goodnight.