Agatha Raisin (2016) s02e01 Episode Script
The Wizard of Evesham
1 Oh, my God.
The eagle has landed! Oooh! Ooh! The eagle has landed.
The eagle.
The eagle has landed! James? James.
Who are you? Reggie! Come to Mummy, darling.
There's a good boy.
Shh! Shh! Ahh.
It's a behavioral response to your overtly sexual aura.
- You can't blame the poor dog.
- I don't blame him.
I blame you! You are trespassing! Well, if you kept your gate shut, then he wouldn't have got in.
It's not my gate.
Then you're trespassing too.
Welcome home, Agatha.
- Aggie! - Oh! She's home! Right, all I know is that you followed you to Cyprus in case it all went pear- shaped with James.
Oh, yeah, right.
So he didn't tell you the bit about abandoning me for Gorgeous Georgios? He said he wanted to marry me.
I thought he was the one.
You abandoned me! You chose a waiter over your best friend! - He was fit.
- Beautiful.
Did you Roy! Did you bring him back here? Oh, don't worry.
I steam- cleaned your mattress.
When you bought the house back, I knew you'd be away for a while.
Yeah, because I was in Cyprus! I was lonely and and feeling vulnerable.
And And, Roy, I was in fear of my life! What can I say? It was love at first sight.
I wasn't thinking straight.
I was thinking very, very gay.
So where is he now? Ohh.
Did a runner.
Yeah, with my wallet, my fake Rolex, and the, um Oh, come on, Roy.
Not my signed photograph of Madonna? Seriously?! Is nothing sacred? I'm sorry, Aggie.
I've let you down.
Yeah, well, good riddance.
'Cause all men are bastards.
Oh.
Didn't go well with Bill, then? I- I don't want to talk about it.
I've got PTSD.
- And James? - Hey.
What happens in Cyprus stays in Cyprus.
Just saying.
- You deserve better, Aggie.
- I know.
We all do.
Uhh! I think we should just sign off men for good.
- Single ladies club! - I'm in! - What about me? - Ohh.
You can be honorary "member.
" "Member.
" Yes, please.
Well, as Madonna once said, "Power is being told that you're not loved and then not being destroyed by it.
" Mmm, yeah, I'll drink to that.
To the Carsely Single Ladies Society.
A life without men.
- A life without those bastards.
- A life without men! Come along, ladies.
My party.
Sorry, James.
What fish? I can't really hear you.
Yeah, no, it looks like she's definitely back.
I don't want to be your go- between.
Just call her, James.
Please.
James? Ja Come on, girls.
- Done it before, haven't you? - I have done it before.
- It lives! - Oh.
Good morning! Do you know, much as I love you guys, I could really do with a little bit of time on my own right now.
No, Ags.
You're hurting.
You need our support.
It's single ladies together, remember? Do you not have a child? Mm, Guide camp.
And you're here because? Oh, 'cause it's lush.
And your TV's bigger than mine.
I can't face London now, Aggie.
My heart is broken.
It's shattered into tiny little pieces, so I'm taking a couple of days off work.
Do you know what? Uh, I really I really need to do quite a lot of thinking.
Mrs.
Raisin.
Welcome home! Mr.
Lacey not with you? - No.
Oh! God.
- What?! Oh! What the heck? See? You need us to protect you.
Settle down, settle down, settle down.
Mrs.
Raisin has nothing further to say and trusts you will respect her privacy at this very difficult time.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
What do you mean, difficult time? What?! Really! No one gave a damn about what I did in London.
Well, that's the charm and the curse of village life.
But how am I gonna get rid of them? Roy and Gemma are dealing with it.
For now.
You'll just have to front it out.
How? The village ladies society are meeting today.
- You are joking.
- But they're like family.
I wasn't that keen on my own family.
Come on.
We've got a concert to plan, and you have such great ideas.
Right, well, here's one for nothing.
Let's plan not to do it! You really are in a bad way.
Have you have you heard anything from James? Oh, just the odd text about the garden, building maintenance, stuff like that.
So nothing? Nothing about about me or? James is not the man I thought he was.
All the more reason for you to come today.
Show those gossips that you're over him.
Mrs.
Bloxby was telling me about your new club.
Yes, but you have to be single, Beryl.
Mr.
Boggle and I are on a break.
- He never liked Sergio.
- Her budgie.
Came home from Zumba, he was nowhere to be seen.
Bernard said he'd flown away but I found blue feathers down the waste disposal.
He did not! Evil old goat.
Banished him to his sister's in Moreton.
Well, I always knew he was a bit strange, but I never saw him as a budgie killer.
You can never truly trust a man.
They're all barbarians at heart.
I couldn't agree more.
Boggle, you're in.
Well, if everyone's got tea, I'd like to open the meeting, please.
Well, I think that concludes our business.
Soz.
Soz.
Hi, Gemma.
Didn't think you were coming.
No, neither did I.
Roy made me.
All that does is leave me to say many thanks to Mrs.
Boggle for agreeing to organize our annual concert.
And to Mrs.
Darry for agreeing to do the teas.
Now we just need some performers.
I can play the recorder, as usual.
Gemma? I could do my Lady Gaga if you're desperate.
I, um I I could read some Pam Ayres.
Oh, that's lovely, Liza.
Thank you so much.
- Who's that? - Oh, you know, uh "Ohh, I wish I'd looked after my teeth.
" I know that.
I mean who's that? Oh, uh, yeah, Liza Friendly.
She moved to Carsely around Christmastime.
Bit beige, but basically harmless.
What about you, Mrs.
Raisin? Surely our local celebrity must have some party piece up her sleeve? Oh, I'm afraid, Mrs.
Darry, I don't have any talent.
Neither do they.
Doesn't stop them.
Okay, I think we'll leave it there, ladies.
There are forms by the door for anyone who'd like to sign up.
Thanks so much.
Um, just let me introduce you to Agatha.
Agatha, I don't think you've met Deirdra Darry.
She's taken over Vale View Pharmacy in Evesham.
Yes.
Our paths have crossed.
Oh, sorry, I had no idea you were Carsely's famous, well- coiffed sleuth.
- Not with those roots.
- Huh.
Right, pardon my French now, Mrs.
Vicar, but that woman is a total bitch.
Ohh.
Look at this mess.
It's all the stress.
I have let myself go.
Come on, it just needs a little attention.
Oh, actually, somebody recommended a marvelous new stylist in Evesham.
I've got his card somewhere.
Yep, Jonny Shawpart.
There you go.
I've heard he's overrated, overpriced.
- He thinks he's God's gift.
- That's every man I've ever met.
Yeah, well, I don't care if he's a serial killer if he can sort out this mess.
Here for the special? Is this Studio JS? No.
That's further down the high street.
This is Eve of Evesham.
But I can squeeze you in for a cut and color? No one does a purple rinse like Eve.
Do you know, I'm not quite sure I'm there yet.
There comes a time when you have to embrace your age, Mrs.
Raisin, not hide from it.
Oh, Sir Charles, you shouldn't have! Well, they're for Agatha, actually.
Well, she's she's not in.
Well, perhaps you can take them for her.
- Nice tan.
- Hard to avoid.
Cyprus is bloody hot.
- You were in Cyprus? - Didn't Aggie tell you? No.
No, she didn't.
Whoo Knock, knock.
Agatha Raisin.
I'm seeing Jonny at 3:00.
Oh, yeah, I can see why you needed an emergency appointment.
Jonny? Jonny, your three o'clock's here.
Heh.
Your skin tone could take a much richer color, Agatha.
- It's a cool name, by the way.
- Is it? Thank you.
And I'm thinking something more dramatic stylewise.
Yeah, to be honest, I could do with a change.
There's a woman on the phone.
Says she's left loads of messages.
I said no interruptions.
She says it's important.
I could start the color if you like.
My client is paying for a consultation with the style director.
You really think she'd be happy with shampoo boy? No, Jonny.
If I ask you to do something, you do it.
You understand? Yes, Jonny.
Sorry.
Thinks he can run before he can walk, that one.
It's all part of the mentoring process.
And there's no way that I was gonna let him anywhere near your gorgeous locks.
I'm not doing this anymore.
But you've got three shampoos and a Himalayan body scrub stacking up.
I can't go back in there.
Jonny's a monster.
You just really wind him up.
He's a pussycat really.
You know what he said to me this morning? No.
Back in the day, I'd be Evesham's village idiot.
Truth hurts, though, Gaz.
Call center's hiring if you're interested.
I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know how much longer I can bear it, Jonny.
Pete cares more about his trains than he does about me.
You deserve so much more, Maggie.
He never even looks at me, let alone you know.
It's like I don't exist.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
You are a wonderful, special woman, Maggie.
Mm, mm, mm.
Ready? Yes.
See? You look 10 years younger.
Well, I don't really, but thanks.
Why do you keep putting yourself down? You are absolutely stunning.
No, Angelina Jolie's stunning.
I'm just kind of okayish in a sort of "older woman" kind of way.
Has someone hurt you recently, Agatha? Keeping secrets is all part of the job.
You can tell me yours over dinner if you like.
Uh That's my lift.
I better go.
Ooh.
Blueberry Diva.
Deliciously moreish.
I don't.
But thanks for asking.
- Is that your boss? - Mm- hmm.
He seems very popular with the ladies.
The whole of Evesham's trying to get in his pants.
But he's only interested in old slappers.
The richer the better.
Not his biggest fan, then? No.
He is.
I'm guessing that's his car.
Yeah, he doesn't deserve it.
The way he treats people.
Roy Silver.
If you ever want to talk or may Are you one of the single ladies or are you not? What about you and Mr.
Hair? If I hadn't have arrived when I did Listen, we made a pact.
I'm not about to break it.
Neither am I.
You never said Lord Toffee Nose was in Cyprus.
Didn't I? Not as bad as this one.
I caught him outside the salon flirting with the shampoo boy.
Right, he's not just a shampoo boy.
He also does blow- dries.
And so what if we've been tempted? We haven't succumbed.
Not yet.
I'll pick up my golf bag later.
Make sure it's ready this time.
Yes, Rob.
See you soon.
Bill! Heard you were back.
Your hair looks, um, unusual? Thank you.
Come here.
Give us a hug.
I've missed you.
Just wanted to say how sorry I am about you and James.
I shouldn't have encouraged you to follow him.
Well, I shouldn't have pushed you and Gemma together.
Not really very good at this love thing, you and I, are we? Wilkes.
He's on my case 24- 7.
It's driving me insane.
This is the same Wilkes whose work ethic involved eating burgers and jumping out of bushes? He's been on an advanced policing course.
Ohh.
Sounds like you need a good old moan over a good old bottle of merlot.
What about tonight? Yeah, I'd love to.
Actually, I forgot I'm out tonight.
But, um, I'll call you.
Okay.
So hairy you could stuff a mattress.
I'm gonna do you a organic decaf chai latte, and I'll smash you an avocado if you're peckish.
Poach me an egg.
Obviously it looked great when you did it, but clearly I do not have the time or the skills for this tousled "natural" look.
Natural can be sexy.
Especially on you.
Right, let's get you shampooed and make you beautiful again.
And Jonny will be with you in a few minutes.
Mm- hmm.
You're not trying to impress him.
No, no, no.
Jonny.
You just want to look your best for you, don't you? Oof.
Who are you trying to kid? Don't Don't cry.
Don't cry! Get your hands Don't push me! Don't push me, or I'll get nasty! I can't go on like this.
Please.
You don't have a choice.
Do as I say, or I'll make sure you suffer.
Listen.
Aah! Oh! Help! Can C- Can someone help? Need a hand, Agatha? Uh Yes, please.
My neighbors are always kicking off.
Do you know, I think they get a buzz out of it.
Ooh.
You are so tense.
You're, uh, not married, then? Mm.
I was.
But we were just kids.
Split up not long after.
All very amicable.
How about you? Well, uh, let's just say that I've not been quite as lucky in love as I have been in business.
So we're both free agents now? So that's one kung pao beef, one chicken chow mein.
- Crispy seaweed.
- Crispy seaweed.
- Capital ribs.
- Capital ribs.
Sarah's getting us a Chinese! I'm having pork balls, obviously.
What do you fancy, Aggie? Actually, I'm just heading out.
Meeting my aunt.
Heh.
Yes, she is a bit of a stickler for punctuality, so, uh I better get going.
Heh! How's this? A bottle each? Plus a cocktail.
I've got a bottle of Napoleon brandy back at mine if you fancy a little What?! Ready? I'm ready.
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
I don't think my legs are quite Liza.
Liza! Hey, it's Agatha.
Oh.
Bit weird.
- Do you know her? - No.
No, I never seen her before in my life.
- Let's go.
- Where's the exit? Agatha.
Agatha.
Agatha, wake up.
Wake up.
Agatha.
Oh! Yes.
Can I get you to come back to mine? I can't.
I can't because I can't.
There's a A man is coming to trim my thatch first thing in the morning, so I've I've got to yeah.
You forgot something.
Oh! You look so beautiful in this light.
- Do you know that? - Yeah.
Huh.
I I I think I think there's a I think there might be a storm coming tonight.
I mean, coming back here late, drunk.
Treating this place like a hotel.
It is actually my house.
You lied to us, Aggie.
- The trust is broken.
- We want the truth now.
- Otherwise you're grounded.
- For a month.
All right! It wasn't my aunt.
Oh, bloody hypocrite.
Okay, so I fancied him.
But I don't now.
Oh, yeah.
Looked like it an' all.
Listen, I was just trying to humor him.
- So that he didn't suspect.
- Suspect what? That I thought there was something a bit weird going on.
Liza Friendly was at the pub.
She saw him, and she couldn't get away fast enough.
He claimed that he didn't know who she was, which I didn't believe.
And then I get home, and I find this at the door.
"Jonny Shawpart is dangerous.
Get out before it's too late".
And you think this came from Liza? Yeah, well, who else is it gonna be from? Gaz said something about Jonny targeting old slappers.
Sorry.
Mature women.
Especially those who are loaded.
Sorry.
If Liza's so scared, why doesn't she contact the police? Because Jonny is a keeper of secrets.
What if she had something that he was holding against her? - Blackmail.
- Blackmail.
Liza might not be his only victim.
I feel another investigation coming on.
I'm gonna talk to Liza.
I think she's obviously hiding something.
Gemma, you can go to the salon undercover.
Oh, no, I can't 'cause Kyra's at Guide camp.
- Oh, Kyra! - I'll go.
If the women of this parish are in danger, - it's my duty to protect them.
- Perfect! So if Jonny Shawpart is up to something, - the single ladies - And Sarah.
and Sarah are not gonna let him get away with it.
Oh, hi.
Is Liza in? What's it about? The ladies society concert.
Agatha! I'd offer you tea, but we're about to go out.
Oh, it won't take long.
I, um, just wanted to check that you were okay.
Why wouldn't I be? Last night.
Oh, that.
I was rushing to the ladies.
I should never eat prawns.
They go right through me.
So, uh, you didn't leave that note? Uh, thanks for popping by, Agatha! Uh, I'll see you at rehearsal.
Is it itchy, though, or is it smelly? Oh, it's both? Right, okay.
Yeah.
No, there's cream for that.
Don't worry.
Yeah, no, I've had that.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Oh, I'd like an appointment with Jonny Shawpart, please.
Oh, you and every other sex- starved woman living in the Cotswolds.
Call you back, Mum.
He's fully booked for the next six weeks, I'm afraid.
I- I'll wait for a cancellation.
- He's not in till later.
- I'll come back then.
Okay.
Just so you know, I'm not sex- starved.
I'm a happily married vicar's wife with a very adventurous love life.
Praise the Lord.
- Hi, Bill.
- They had a break- in last night.
Bloody kids.
They're like cockroaches, aren't they? Get in anywhere.
I'll see you then.
I don't know what came over me.
Don't worry.
You're only bigging up what the Bible says.
Go forth and multiply.
Jez would be proud.
Well, at least I didn't mention role- play.
That was on the tip of my tongue.
That's Jonny's car.
What's he doing here? She's old enough to be his mother.
Jez was with a older woman when we first met.
Taught him everything he knows.
I'm rather grateful, really.
- Jez is quite the man.
- Mm.
Yes, he is.
Listen! Now he's showing his true colors.
Gotcha.
- That's not good.
- Unh- unh.
- We should probably help.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
Look at that.
That's bad.
Her name's Maggie.
She's in an unhappy marriage.
Jonny was all over her at the salon.
So, what do we do now? What do we do? We flush him out.
Are the single ladies still accepting members? Oh, really? Not you as well.
Jez is threatening to cancel our holiday.
It was supposed to be our second bloody honeymoon.
I know! You have been planning it for ages.
Well, the bishop was appalled by all the buckets in the church, so Jez says he can't in all conscience go anywhere until we raise money for the repairs.
Leave it with me.
I owe you after today.
- Where are you going? - See you at the meeting.
Sarah deserves her holiday.
And how amazing would it be if we could all help get her there? But the concert, as it stands, does not really raise the amount of funds that we need.
So, with my old P.
R.
hat on, may I suggest a bit of a rebrand.
A burlesque extravaganza! I've always fancied meself in a basque.
I couldn't.
Rob wouldn't let me.
What's it got to do with Rob? This is not about him.
This is for us.
It is not for anyone else.
Dress it up all you like.
It's just glorified stripping.
Ah, you see, that's where you're wrong.
It's much more than that.
This is about feeling confident in your own skin, about feeling powerful, beautiful.
It doesn't matter how old you are, whether you're fat or thin.
I'm not sure.
Sarah! Think about the W.
I.
ladies with their calendars.
That wasn't degrading.
I bet they all had their doubts.
It was inspiring! It was liberating! I have contacts who can help with merchandising.
Think about it.
Mugs, tea towels, T- shirts.
With the right marketing, we could get the money to save this church roof.
This could be massive.
Yeah, I'm up for it.
And so am I.
As long as it's tastefully done.
Well! You'll be getting my resignation in the morning, Mrs.
Bloxby.
Nice one, Aggie.
Don't forget your broomstick on the way out.
Well, let's have a show of hands.
All those in favor? Uh, I'm sorry, Sarah.
I- I wish I could, but I- I can't.
Sarah.
Yeah.
Jonny's agreed to meet me at the White Hart for lunch.
Game on.
Testing, testing.
One, two, three.
Hear you loud and clear.
Over.
Target is on his way.
Over.
Target has arrived.
Looking like an absolute whopper.
Over.
- Doot! - Oh! Oh! Hi! Oh, my God.
What happened? Joy rider ran into me.
Face hit the windscreen.
Car's a complete write- off.
But I'm fine now.
- Are you sure? - Eh, it's just a few bruises.
Well, I just wanted to say I am sorry for getting so drunk.
Ah, no need.
It's just a shame we didn't have that nightcap.
Well, it gives us an opportunity to get to know each other a little.
Like, for example, what are you doing here? I mean, you don't strike me as a country bumpkin type.
I was working too hard.
Sold the Bristol salon for a small fortune.
Escaped to Evesham for the country dream.
Oh, well, you're looking good on it.
Partly down to these.
Vitamins from L.
A.
Vale View Pharmacy managed to track them down for me.
Trouble is I'm so chilled now, I'm restless.
I need a new challenge.
Yes.
I know the feeling.
I'm thinking about starting a salon in London.
Mayfair.
Bond Street.
Oh, do you know, I would love to go back.
I have made such a mess of things here.
We could go together.
- Why not? - What? Well, I know how to run a successful salon.
You know how to run a high- end P.
R.
campaign.
Mm, well, I have been looking for an investment.
And I've been looking for a woman to invest in.
There is something you should know before this goes any further.
I am in a relationship.
But it's complicated.
Things haven't been going well, and then James went away, and, uh, I well, I, um, slept with his best friend, Charles.
Just the once.
Oh, dear.
It's okay, Agatha.
We all make mistakes.
But what you don't understand is that Charles is a psychopath.
He's pathologically jealous.
He refuses to let me go, and James is gonna come back any day now, and - I'm here now.
- Ohh! But I don't want you to get all involved.
I'm already involved.
Tell me all about it.
We can deal with it together.
But first let's get a bottle.
Agatha! Did you get my flowers? Charles! You're a violent psycho, jealous, and can't bear to see me with another man! I really like you, Agatha, but that's going to far.
It's role- play, Charles.
Just go with it.
I'll explain later.
Oh! Uh, Jonny.
This is Charles.
Oh, just you calm down! I don't want another one of your jealous episodes! So you're stalking her now? Yes, uh, Jonny is my hairdresser, who did such a beautiful job on my hair that I just wanted to take him out to lunch to thank him.
Oh, and you expect me to believe that, do you? You lying little tart! - Oh! Aah! - You're coming with me! Oh! No, please! Hands off me! Get your hands off her.
Listen, if I were you, I'd damn well stay out of this.
Or what? Or I'll give you a big fat fist sandwich.
Smash your nose to smithereens.
Before or after I cut off your balls off and stuff them down your throat? Time to go, Charlie boy.
Not so brave now, are you? You okay? I'm gonna just make sure he leaves.
I'll be right back.
Hello? Hello.
Hello, hello? I can't hear you.
You're breaking up.
You're breaking up.
Listen, listen.
Listen to me.
Stop your pathetic sniveling and listen.
I don't care how hard it is.
Get me that money, or it's all over.
He needs money.
Why? Business is booming.
Plus he drives a 100- grand car.
Or he did, until he wrote it off.
Maybe he just gets off on the power, uses it to ensnare women and control their every move.
Or it's greed, pure and simple.
He says he wants to go into business with me.
Needs an investor.
Wants to rip you off, more like.
I'm gonna go back to the salon.
Gonna keep stringing him along until we get the proof that we need.
I could go undercover.
Gaz offered me a free Thai massage.
- Hey.
- Oh! Oh.
Hey! Roy.
Let's get you on that table, shall we? I've got some fabulous oils with your name on them, actually, so Want to Can't wait.
Okay, come on through.
Mind how you go there.
I like your trainers.
My nan's got a pair.
The mud pack is straight from the Dead Sea.
But you're not dead yet.
So that's good, isn't it? I'm just gonna make this a bit tighter.
See, it's supposed to help with wrinkles, but I think you might've left it too late.
Mm.
That's a busy little fingernail you've got going on there.
Toxic Jade.
Gorgeous, aren't they? We've got a promotion on neons at the moment, but neons don't complement the aging hand.
So if I was you, I'd go for, like, a nude.
With a pearlescent shimmer or something, like the queen.
Thanks, Josie.
Oh, can I get you anything? Like a water? Green tea? Smashed avocado? - No, thank you.
- Okay.
Do you think all this is really necessary? Your complexion will be more radiant.
Trust me.
Josie thinks I'm beyond restoration.
Her lack of tact masks a heart of gold.
She clearly adores you.
It's just a crush.
Like she could ever compete with you, Agatha.
I'm really not that special, Jonny.
Ooh.
Been thinking about you all day.
- Can't concentrate.
- Are you okay? Oh, sorry.
I'll be right back.
Ohhhhhhhhh, that is sweeeeeeet! Jonny hasn't got any nicer, then? No.
Still treating me like his little bitch.
Ow! Soon as I qualify, I'm out of here.
What was that? Sounds suspiciously like a happy ending.
Eww.
Josie will do anything for a big tip.
That bloke's not the only thing she's creaming off.
Yuck.
Cash has been disappearing from the office.
Jonny keeps accusing me, but I know it's her.
That didn't sound very happy.
Aah! Yeah, Salon JS, Evesham high street.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Police and ambulance are on their way.
What are you doing? I found a letter from Liza Friendly in Jonny's man bag, begging him to stop blackmailing her.
Where are you going? To his house.
His address was on the envelope.
To do what exactly? I think that all of Jonny's women had secrets, and that was why he chose them.
If I don't destroy the evidence, their lives are gonna be ruined.
But what if it was murder? One of Jonny's women could be his killer.
Listen, you just go and stall the police for as long as you can.
Aggie.
You've got a green face.
Mm! Everybody stay where they are.
This is now officially a crime scene.
You think it's murder? I cannot reveal anything until the escalated working practices have been escalated and the decision- making systems for the newly categorized complex investigation have been implemented.
He's been on a course.
Golf, or? Nobody is permitted to leave until all threat, risk, and vulnerability factors have been assessed, including any potential link to organized crime and terrorism.
Terrorism? Oh, my God.
No need to panic.
What D.
C.
I.
Wilkes means is we'll have to take a statement before we can let you leave.
Well, we're not all here.
Someone's done a runner.
- Who? - Mrs.
Agatha Raisin.
Joy rider, my ass.
Which supermarket is this suit from? So Agatha vanished into thin air without a word to her best mate? I had a deceased hairdresser to deal with.
It's all a bit of a blur.
Under Subsection 2 of the 1911 Perjury Act, I could arrest you on suspicion of telling porkies.
Go on, then.
But I swear to God I have absolutely no idea where she is.
Liza Friendly? Liza very friendly.
Maggie Henderson?! Oh! How is she even doing that? Deirdra Darry? Seriously?! Oh, God.
Ohh! Come on, Roy.
Think.
What would Madonna do? Ahh.
Destroy the evidence! In we go.
In we go.
I'm coming! Mrs.
Agatha Raisin.
- What's that weird smell? - Roy.
He's developed a severe problem with foot odor, and he's finding it very difficult to shift.
As you are no doubt aware, Jonny Shawpart was found dead at his salon earlier today, a death we're treating as suspicious under Section 4, Subsection 2b of, uh Wait.
I've lost the page.
And you, Mrs.
Raisin - Yes? - Where was I? We have a witness who claims you absconded from the scene minutes after the said victim's demise.
"Give the suspect the earliest opportunity to explain why the offense took place.
" No, I didn't mean to read that bit out loud.
Where did you go? Well, I came home.
I was in shock.
and I I didn't know what to do with myself.
So you were nowhere near Mr.
Shawpart's residence at any point today? No.
So you know nothing about the fire at his home? No.
Oh.
We've got a forensic lead at the property.
I need to speak to the F.
O.
Why are you wearing a dressing gown? Bill, I simply felt the need for lounge wear.
I was feeling a little stressed.
Do you have a problem with that? I'm perfectly fine now.
I can just Experience tells me you're more involved in this than you're letting on.
All right, okay.
So is this the bit where you tell me not to get involved in detecting, is it? No, actually.
I need your help.
Wilkes regurgitating the rule book is getting us nowhere.
You share what you know.
I'll do the same.
Then maybe we can solve this case together.
Oh, Bill! I don't I don't know anything.
This isn't a game, Agatha.
They reckon Jonny was poisoned.
And not just any old poison.
His symptoms indicate ricin, which was injected into vitamins found at the scene.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah! And according to witness statements, you were with him the day before he died, in the salon when he died, and then you do a runner.
If you're not the murderer, why take such a close interest in Jonny Shawpart? He was blackmailing some of his clients.
Why not come to us first? Because I was trying to stop him before anybody else got hurt.
Some of his victims had far too much lose.
Jonny's murder means his victims are now suspects.
Mrs.
Raisin? It was arson.
Started by an accelerant chemical substance as yet unknown.
Well, any witnesses? I'm not authorized to reveal classified information to my prime suspect.
You're not supposed to tell her she's your prime suspect, sir.
Mm? Mrs.
Raisin was familiar with the victim.
Maybe she can shed some light on the footage we received.
This individual was seen entering the property from a neighbor's security camera.
Blacked- out face.
Black- hooded mac.
Nothing whatsoever to identify them.
Apart from the distinctive shiny trainers with red laces, sir.
Apart from that, obviously.
So do you recognize this person, Mrs.
Raisin? No.
This isn't over, Mrs.
Raisin.
Not by a long chalk! Everything all right, Agatha? Yes.
Yes.
Uh I'm I'm the new neighborhood watch warden.
You? Yes.
Uh, they were just bringing me some information packs.
So there was nothing to identify our friendly neighborhood fire starter? Mnh- mnh.
Nothing.
Roy, what if they think it's me? The forensics are there at Jonny's house right now, mooching around.
- Do they know how he died? - Yes! The killer injected his vitamins with ricin.
Ricin? Ricin.
"Ricin is one of the most poisonous substances on earth.
It is derived from the seeds of the castor oil plant.
" Castor oil plant.
I mean? We need to find out who has one, and if so, whether there's any connections with Jonny.
Mm! I told Deirdra Darry that I was made neighbor watch warden.
So that gives us carte blanche to go rooting around in people's herbaceous borders.
Right.
Come on.
Let's get cracking.
Oh, no, we can't.
We've got the costume fitting with Gemma, and I'm stage manager now.
But I can do some subtle asking around.
"Nice weather we're having.
Do you have a castor oil plant?" Probably not like that.
But Sarah knows everything about everyone, so let's just ask her.
Right, come on.
We have a plan.
Okay.
Now, try them on in the toilets and then come and see Eve, who has kindly joined us as hair and beauty consultant.
- We're going full- on glamour.
- Ooh! Oh, and ladies, there've been reports that Peeping George is in the vicinity.
So no undressing near any of the windows.
That's a shame.
You You have to call Agatha, James.
Well, she keeps asking if I know where you are, and you know how much I hate lying.
These are lush, Mrs.
B.
Where'd you get them from? Found a catalog in Bernard Boggle's bedside cabinet.
- He's a dark horse.
- Pshh, you're not wrong.
He's hung like an Arab stallion.
- Who is? - Oh, you don't want to know.
I do, please.
- What do you reckon? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I love it.
Very dominatrix.
You'll terrify the blokes in that.
If they can't handle it, tough.
We are not pandering to any of them anymore.
Yeah.
And we've got you to thank for that, Mrs.
Raisin.
Thanks, Mrs.
Raisin.
I've got some nipple tassels that'll look magnificent on you, Mrs.
Benson.
Now, where are they, Roy dear? Come on, then, Boggler.
She's had a bit of a personality transplant, hasn't she? Since she kicked her old man out.
She never used to thank anyone for anything.
Single- lady life clearly suits her.
Can you give me a hand, Gemma, if it's not too much trouble? Yeah, sure.
- I feel like such a fraud.
- Why? Everyone thanking me for their newfound emancipation.
First sniff of male attention, and I nearly sniffed him.
You didn't succumb.
Only because I realized he was a blackmailer and I was gonna be his next victim.
Otherwise I would have been right in there.
So you've stopped missing James, then? No.
This is because I miss him.
Well, he'll be back.
I'm sure of it.
But do you think he's gonna be coming back to me? Ohhh.
Listen to me! I'm more of a sap than Liza Friendly, mooning over a man who quite frankly does not deserve me.
I haven't heard from Liza in a while.
I've been calling her, but Oh, I know that face.
Is she in trouble? She could be.
Jonny was blackmailing her.
I think her husband must have found out.
And someone took a pop at Jonny a couple of days before he died.
Rob Friendly may be an unreconstructed Neanderthal, but he's not a murderer.
Yeah, well, I just need to find out, make sure she's okay.
Do you want me to come with you? Oh, no, it's okay.
Oh, but you could help me.
Do you know of anyone in Carsely that's got a castor oil plant? Not off the top of my head.
But I could snoop around.
I just wanted to check you were okay.
Sarah Bloxby said she'd been trying to reach you.
Rob doesn't want me involved.
Says it's degrading.
Sorry! I need to talk to you about Jonny.
Did Rob know about this? So he wasn't the one who attacked Jonny? If Rob knew I was cheating, it wouldn't be Jonny he'd hurt.
Mum gave me some money when she sold her house.
ã12,000.
Rob knew nothing about it.
Mum didn't trust him.
- But you told Jonny.
- I thought he loved me.
He was so kind, caring.
Told me I was beautiful.
And then he went cold on you.
I couldn't understand it.
So I started following him.
I saw him with that old frump Maggie.
What did she have that I didn't? More money, probably.
I bombarded him with texts telling him how much I loved him.
And he threatened to show them to Rob? I gave him half my mum's money in cash, and he deleted the texts in front of me, but he'd kept copies then demanded more money.
When I heard he was dead, I thought I'd escaped from hell.
Did you see him with anyone else? That Josie was always hanging around.
I was so jealous.
Liza?! Liza?! - You'll have to go out the back.
- Forgot my bloody golf balls! None of this can ever come out, Agatha.
Promise me.
I'd rather die.
I won't let anything happen.
I swear.
Oof! Come on, come on.
Agatha, are you all right? Oh! Yes, I'm fine.
Where are you? I think you're right.
So that means that Jonny was blackmailing Deirdra Darry, and she was poisoning him to prevent anyone finding out about the affair.
Well, it fits the pattern.
So that means that Jonny actually oh! Did the deed with Deirdra.
It just seems a bit of a stretch, don't you think? Oh, Jonny would do anything for money.
Even Deirdra Darry.
And guess which pharmacy supplied his vitamins.
Deirdra Darry again! - Oh, you're good at this lark.
- I know.
We still need to make sure that this plant is what we think it is.
Mrs.
Boggle.
She's quite the botanist.
I'll get her a cutting.
- Reggie! - She's back, she's back! Come to Mummy! I've got treatipoos! What on earth is going on? Neighborhood watch.
We, uh, thought we saw an intruder.
- False alarm.
- Really? But I am gonna have to check out your internal security.
- If that's okay.
- No! It's not okay.
Now, get off my property before I call the police.
- You go to Mrs.
Boggle.
- I'm not leaving you! Listen, I'm fine.
I can handle it.
Go! He's only following his instincts.
Just like you were with Jonny Shawpart? I know you were the one that supplied the vitamins that killed him.
Not here.
Come inside.
My late husband, Keith, he did a big plumbing job for Jonny when he first moved to the area.
He was a master plumber.
Course he was.
Keith always wanted me to have the best of everything.
Couldn't always afford it, though.
What's this got to do with Jonny? Keith installed a whole heating system.
Kitchen, three bathrooms.
And all for cash.
He didn't declare it.
- I had no idea.
- But Jonny did.
He told me that if I didn't give him ã10,000, that he would tell the HMRC, they'd be forced to investigate, and it could ruin me.
So you thought you had to do something.
I am not a murderer, Mrs.
Raisin.
The police, however, may conclude differently.
I need to do some investigating of my own.
Well, if you find anything you may find helpful, then maybe You may think you're the new Miss Marple.
I have an IQ of 158.
And a shrewd and inquiring mind.
I'll solve this puzzle far more efficiently on my own.
Now, if you don't mind.
Well, if you change your mind, call me.
You're scented, I'm afraid.
All the village dogs will be after you now.
Just like all the village men seem to be.
Reggie.
Come on.
- Agatha? - I'll explain later! Aah! Oh! Get away! Ah! I think you owe me an explanation.
Ah, yes.
Uh, right.
Uh Where to start? Um It's complicated.
I risked life, limb, and testicles for your little role- play.
It won't happen again, Charles.
But I loved playing detective with you in Cyprus.
And And that wasn't all I loved.
Charles.
But, listen, look, your We're good together! - Agatha! - Go! Goodbye! Do you believe Deirdra Darry's denial? I'm not sure.
She definitely has motive.
And she's a pharmacist.
She would know how to extract ricin.
If we could prove that the seeds came from her castor oil plant We can't.
Oh, sorry.
Hello.
Uh, according to Mrs.
Boggle, it's the Fatsia japonica, otherwise known as the fake castor oil plant.
Same leaves, no poisonous seeds.
Seriously? So you mean all that creeping about in bushes and getting pissed on was for nothing? Let's rewind to the beginning.
First time you went to the salon, you said you heard a couple fighting.
I did.
Did we ever find out who they were? We didn't.
Jonny said it was warring neighbors, but I think that voice could've been his.
We need to see if they actually exist.
I can do that.
Oh, I forgot to say I think we've found Maggie.
Oh.
Hello? The gentle moonlight kissing the soft orbs of your ivory breasts, just like I want to now.
Oh, Fernando.
I wish I could tell you to stop, but I can't.
I really I'd never experienced true romance before.
Jonny made me feel so wanted.
Unlike your husband.
It was as if one of my favorite characters had come to life.
Then he started to refuse my calls.
I couldn't get an appointment.
So I sent letters expressing my passion.
Graphic at times.
And finally he agreed to meet me in the park.
Jonny knew I'd been saving for a new life.
Nearly ã10,000.
He threatened to tell my husband about us and my plans to leave if I didn't hand over the money in 24 hours.
I thought he was bluffing.
The Jonny I knew would never betray me like that.
But this wasn't one of your romantic novels.
When I failed to meet the deadline, he dropped the letters at Pete's work.
- The same day that Jonny got - Smashed on the nose.
Punched.
Pete can snap if he's pushed too far.
But is he capable of murder? Not with poison.
If he'd wanted to kill Jonny, he'd have done it with his bare hands.
Well, thank you for that, Sarah.
So Jonny was lying about the neighbors.
That building has not been occupied for months.
So Mr.
Raging was Jonny.
Who was he talking to? How many other women were there? Liza and Maggie both had motive.
Yes, but no actual evidence to connect them to the murder.
And I think they were both still in love with him.
Which Deirdra Darry never was.
But she supplied the vitamins and had the technical know- how to pull it off.
She was just desperate to protect her nest egg.
- And her reputation.
- She'll still be at work.
We could take a little look around.
That doesn't sound entirely legal.
Since when has that bothered you? Good afternoon, Russell.
I'm not taking any chances this time with that dog.
I don't think that Reggie's in.
There's no barking.
Oh, my God.
Roy.
No sign of a break- in, sir.
There are two cups on the table.
Oh, that sounds like she must have known her killer.
Did you see anyone, Mrs.
Raisin? No.
And why should I believe you? Your car was caught on CCTV less than a mile from Mr.
Shawpart's house on the day of the fire, and you said you'd been nowhere near it.
Yes.
I had run out of milk.
The village shop sells milk.
Yes, it does.
But it doesn't sell goat's milk.
I have an allergy.
They need your permission to move the body, sir.
I haven't finished with you.
You're gonna tell me everything you know.
- And did you? - Of course not.
I know what you're thinking.
Maggie and Liza have gone through quite enough without Wilkes poking his big clumsy oar in.
So, what are you thinking? I'm thinking of how very little we know about Jonny's life before he came here.
You think his "escape to the country" story is a cover? Go to Bristol.
See if you can find out.
Hairdressing world's quite small.
Maybe Gaz knows something.
Why don't you make another appointment? - Well, the salon's closed.
- Oh.
Sorry.
Eve's taken it over.
And kept all the staff.
Even Josie.
Now, Josie's one of Jonny's fan club that seems to have gone under our radar.
I mean, what do we actually know about her? Gaz said she was stealing cash from the business.
What if Jonny found out? If Josie's attracted to no- good serial philanderers, maybe we should ask Charles Fraith? Yeah, I'd rather not pander to his giant ego.
You didn't mind pandering to his giant ego in Cyprus.
I'll go to Bristol.
No comment.
Oh.
And there was I thinking that you'd changed your mind.
A little rumpy- pumpy for old times' sake.
Oh, Charles, I am trying to erase that chapter from my memory.
No, I need you to go undercover.
I'll go under your covers anytime.
Not mine! - Somebody else's.
- Go on.
I need you to take a pretty, pert- breasted 20- something to dinner.
At my expense.
To do what? I need you to use your suave, debonair charm to suss out her relationship with Jonny Shawpart.
Oh, and, uh, Charles, this isn't an actual date.
So no actual shagging.
Of course not.
I'm a professional.
Mm.
Hair by JN was the coolest salon in Bristol.
Three- month waiting list.
Features in national magazines.
So when he came to Evesham I bet you couldn't believe your luck.
- Mm- hmm.
- There you go, Agatha.
Thank you.
What do they say? Never meet your heroes.
You're happy now here, though, are you? With Eve? Oh, yeah.
She's been totally amazeballs.
I don't know what I'd have done without her.
But I am thinking of going into dog grooming.
More money, less hassle.
Dogs are so much nicer than people.
Yeah.
Not all of them.
Oh! Aaah! I don't normally drink this much.
You're a terrible influence.
Well, I've been told that before.
Cheers.
My mum told me to stay away from men like you.
But I reckon you're more like a George Clooney- type than a dirty old perv, so You know, when I saw you through the window of that salon, I thought, "I cannot walk past without meeting this vision of loveliness.
" I do have that effect on people.
Must be traumatic, though, working somewhere a man you were so close to died.
He wasn't as nice as everyone thought.
But he had this aura about him that just sucked you in.
It sucked my mum in, that's for sure.
- Your mum? - Yeah.
Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.
Oh.
The night is still young.
- More wine? - Sorry.
White wine gives me terrible gas.
You're not even supposed to have that on.
I thought Roy might have found something in Bristol.
You need to forget about the investigation and focus on getting better.
Oh, the hospital told me it was just concussion.
Oh, damn it, Jez and I have got a meeting with the parish council about the roof.
Well, I'll be fine.
You can go.
If you promise me to take it easy while I'm away.
I promise.
Who's that? - Charles Fraith.
- Oh, perfect.
He can babysit me while you're gone.
But what did he actually do? Jonny blackmailed Josie's mum into believing that her husband was having an affair.
They had revenge sex.
He filmed it.
And he blackmailed her.
Josie got the job as receptionist, with the express intention of ripping Jonny off to the tune of ã7,000.
The money that he'd taken from her mother.
Exactly! Josie knew that Jonny wouldn't be interested in her because she wasn't loaded.
But she was quite interested in me last night.
Oh, Charles, you didn't! She likened me to George Clooney.
It seemed rude not to.
Anyway, I got the information you wanted.
I think I deserve a gold star.
Silver star.
Taking into account your unorthodox methods.
Well, I'd better be going, or else Sarah will have my guts for garters for overtiring you when she returns.
Call me if you need me.
Okay.
Agatha.
I thought you'd want to see these.
Your brake lines were deliberately cut.
Some sort of bright- green paint.
I'm not sure what it is yet.
Toxic Jade.
It was Josie.
Witnesses heard you arguing with Jonny on the morning of his death.
You were stealing from him.
Stock.
Cash.
He was gonna call the police.
But you couldn't let that happen.
It wasn't like that.
We've been going through the CCTV from the security cameras in the salon.
Didn't know you had a twin sister.
I only took what he owed us.
Jonny Shawpart destroyed my family.
So you murdered him.
Just as you tried to murder Mrs.
Agatha Raisin by cutting her brake lines.
No! Look, I swear to God.
Okay, I took some cash.
I had nothing to do with any stock going missing.
Or Mrs.
Raisin's brakes.
There you are! You're supposed to be in bed.
I had to get out for a bit.
Yeah, Sarah said you'd been a terrible patient.
Oh, she'd give Nurse Ratched a run for her money.
So how was Bristol? The plot thickens.
Hair by JN opened in 2012.
The opening was a big deal.
It was featured in all the national magazines.
The mayor was there, local celebs.
The redhead is Natalie, Jonny's first wife.
She looks a bit long in the tooth, even for Jonny.
Not her.
The one with the tattoo, cutting the ribbon.
Three years later, it burned to the ground.
Jonny and Natalie split up soon after the fire.
Guy in the corner shop reckons it was an insurance job, but it was never proved.
Well, we need to do a bit more digging.
I'll try my P.
R.
contacts in Bristol.
So if it was in national magazines, I'll go home, find out which ones, and I will call the editors.
- I'll come with you.
- No.
You finish your manly pint.
- It's just a pint.
- Make those calls.
Somebody must know something.
Oh.
Hello? Hello? James? Charles! What are you doing here? I say, do put that down, Agatha.
I've got us a nice bottle of Côte de Beaune.
You should know better, Agatha.
Underneath a flower pot is the first place any jobbing burglar would look for a spare key.
I thought you were an ax murderer! - You'd run out of kindling.
- Mm! Charles, why are you even here? It's Josie.
She's stalking me.
She wants to move into the manor.
And she's not exactly brood mare material.
So I needed a place to hide out while she gets the message.
Mm, well Still doesn't explain why you're naked and in my dressing gown.
I fancied a bath.
Oh, don't look at me like that, Agatha.
It's really your fault, you know? I didn't tell you to shag her, did I? Oh! Hey.
Uh, any news? Uh, Josie took the afternoon off to prepare for her date.
With you, Sir Charles.
She was nowhere near your car that afternoon.
So it was someone else with green, neon, diamond- encrusted nails, then? It's from a range at the salon.
Freely accessible to staff and clients.
Oh, do you know, come on in.
Just don't bother knocking.
Roll on up.
Whatever.
Sir Charles.
I like to get in touch with my feminine side from time to time, Inspector.
You should try it.
Charles, will you just go upstairs and get dressed? The forensics report back from the fire.
All my training has paid off.
The chemical used to start the fire was peroxide- related.
Peroxide used specifically in hairdressing salons.
How do you know? I did an FBI module in advanced barcode recognition.
But you can barely send a text.
All right.
That was then, Detective Constable Wong.
The barcode was recovered from a charred can.
I put it through a digital tracing program and discovered it was purchased by Jonny Shawpart.
As were the scissors that killed Deirdra Dandry.
Darry.
Deirdra Deirdra Darry.
Darry, Darry.
So our thief was most likely our killer.
Oh.
I You know what? I think you might be onto something.
Well done, sir! I reckon I could still be an FBI agent.
Hi.
Agatha! What about your head? This'll help.
Tried all my contacts in Bristol.
Yes, please.
No one knows any more than we do.
Uh, Sherlock Wilkes does.
- What? - Oh, yes.
He has been on a course.
He's found out that the cause of the fire was peroxide stolen from Salon JS.
So the thief is now our prime suspect.
Roy, what is it? Gaz had a load of peroxide in his boot.
Was that before the fire? Yeah, but there's no way it's Gaz.
He's such a softy.
He wouldn't hurt anyone.
Jonny hated him.
He had access to his vitamins, to my car to cut the brake lines, to the peroxide.
He had means, motive, and an opportunity.
Well, when you put it like that.
So maybe our Gaz isn't quite as innocent as he'd like us to believe.
Agatha! You should've called.
I'm doing some work on the rebranding.
Builders start tomorrow.
Just wanted my hair to look its best for the show.
I mean, you sound very busy, so if Gaz is around Come in.
I'll see what I can do.
Right, this should sort your ends out.
Ongoing, I recommend a hot wrap with coconut oil.
Okay.
Uh So where's Gaz? Upstairs.
Curtains drawn.
Won't talk to anyone.
- Why? - He's beside himself.
You know the police have been sniffing around? No.
They think he could be the murderer.
I know.
Seems ridiculous.
He's such a sweetheart.
But what if he just lost it? I mean, Jonny could be so cruel.
Oh, Jonny was hard on him.
That's an understatement.
The things he told me.
Really? But, I mean, murder? Do you think that Gaz is capable of murder? The police want me to make a statement.
Gaz begged me to lie to them, to corroborate what he told them.
Why would he do that if he wasn't guilty? What are you gonna do? Much as I love him, I'm not prepared to perjure myself.
Right, we'll leave this on for 20 minutes.
Oh, there's my builder.
He wants to go through a couple of things.
Help yourself to magazines.
Gaz? Call Aggie.
Check she's okay.
I'll go after him.
Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Slow down! I'm mid- to- late 30s! Sarah.
I found the plant.
Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Wondered where you'd got to.
I was looking for a toilet.
Gaz made a quick exit, then.
Poor boy.
I've just remembered I have a concert rehearsal.
- I better leave.
- Just let me wash that out.
- It won't take a sec.
- Yes! Yes, let's do that.
Gaz! Wait! Gaz, Gaz.
It's time to stop now.
Just tip your head back, Agatha.
That's it.
Shouldn't take long.
Let me know if this is too hot.
Oh.
Here.
I feel as if I've seen that tattoo somewhere before.
In a photograph.
Of Jonny's ex- wife.
You're Natalie.
Look, I nicked stuff.
Okay, I admit it.
So who did you sell it to? It wasn't like that.
Eve was struggling to stay afloat, so she asked me to take stock from Jonny just to tide her over.
He could afford it.
What, exactly? Shampoo.
Scissors.
Some peroxide.
So the peroxide I saw in your boot, that ended up at Eve's.
- I was just helping her out.
- And the plant? - What are you talking about? - The one in your room.
That was in Eve's old office.
And when she moved, she insisted I have it.
to brighten up my room.
There, Agatha.
Jonny had very expensive tastes.
Racked up loads of debt.
The fire seemed like the only way out.
When the insurance company became suspicious, Jonny changed tack, told the police that I'd started the fire.
And they believed him.
So I reinvented myself.
How? I had savings Jonny knew nothing about.
Enough for a new identity and to put a deposit on the Evesham salon.
But then Jonny turned up.
Threatened to blow my cover.
Couldn't bear that I'd made it without him.
I was happy for the first time in my life.
I wasn't about to let him ruin it.
I pretended I wanted a reconciliation, and he was vain enough to believe me.
Spent a few nights at his house enough time for me to get a key cut and to doctor his precious vitamins with ricin.
How? I trained in organic beauty therapy.
I knew about distilling compounds from plant extracts.
Injected them into his pills.
I understand how you would want revenge, but why did you want to kill him? He'd destroyed the person I used to be.
I wasn't about to let him destroy Eve too.
Police won't be here for ten minutes.
- Let's try around the back.
- Okay.
Ohh! Relax, Agatha! Ohh.
I had to destroy any evidence I'd been there.
Started the fire using peroxide Gaz had nicked from Jonny.
Oh, the delicious irony.
And Mrs.
Darry? The stress was getting to me.
I couldn't sleep.
My G.
P.
prescribed temazepam.
Mrs.
Darry had to check my medical history.
My old notes were attached to the new ones under a different name Natalie Shawpart.
And she put two and two together.
Then I heard you at the salon asking questions about Hair by JN.
So it was you that cut my brake lines! Only to scare you off.
But you just couldn't leave it.
Ohh.
Ooh! You want to go looking your best.
I'm rubbish at climbing.
Well, I'm scared of heights.
But I'm very brave.
Shouldn't take long.
You'll go up like a torch.
Eve, you're not thinking straight! This is just gonna make things worse! I told you not to smoke, but you wouldn't listen.
And isn't that just like you, Agatha? Never taking no for an answer.
Goodbye, Agatha.
Eve, no! I literally have never done this with a woman! Sarah! The match! Such a brilliant idea, Agatha.
Everyone is loving it.
Everyone who's here.
Are you really sure you're up to it? Tonight is about celebrating the fabulous women that we are.
Loud, proud, and confident! All the qualities that Jonny Shawpart did his best to undermine.
And I am going to enjoy every minute of it.
Aaah! I don't care if you have got a ticket, Peeping George! It doesn't included goosing! Now get out! Oi, get out! Agatha.
Turns out Rob put the house in my name for tax purposes.
Telling him to leave was the best decision of my life.
I wouldn't have had the courage without you, Agatha.
Well done, Agatha.
One step ahead of the plod once again.
It's not that hard around here.
May I say how remarkably alluring you're looking this evening? I am not sleeping with you, Charles.
I said it in Cyprus, and I'll say it again.
You're too good for him.
Everybody ready? Ladies, it's show time.
Yes.
I am.
The eagle has landed! Oooh! Ooh! The eagle has landed.
The eagle.
The eagle has landed! James? James.
Who are you? Reggie! Come to Mummy, darling.
There's a good boy.
Shh! Shh! Ahh.
It's a behavioral response to your overtly sexual aura.
- You can't blame the poor dog.
- I don't blame him.
I blame you! You are trespassing! Well, if you kept your gate shut, then he wouldn't have got in.
It's not my gate.
Then you're trespassing too.
Welcome home, Agatha.
- Aggie! - Oh! She's home! Right, all I know is that you followed you to Cyprus in case it all went pear- shaped with James.
Oh, yeah, right.
So he didn't tell you the bit about abandoning me for Gorgeous Georgios? He said he wanted to marry me.
I thought he was the one.
You abandoned me! You chose a waiter over your best friend! - He was fit.
- Beautiful.
Did you Roy! Did you bring him back here? Oh, don't worry.
I steam- cleaned your mattress.
When you bought the house back, I knew you'd be away for a while.
Yeah, because I was in Cyprus! I was lonely and and feeling vulnerable.
And And, Roy, I was in fear of my life! What can I say? It was love at first sight.
I wasn't thinking straight.
I was thinking very, very gay.
So where is he now? Ohh.
Did a runner.
Yeah, with my wallet, my fake Rolex, and the, um Oh, come on, Roy.
Not my signed photograph of Madonna? Seriously?! Is nothing sacred? I'm sorry, Aggie.
I've let you down.
Yeah, well, good riddance.
'Cause all men are bastards.
Oh.
Didn't go well with Bill, then? I- I don't want to talk about it.
I've got PTSD.
- And James? - Hey.
What happens in Cyprus stays in Cyprus.
Just saying.
- You deserve better, Aggie.
- I know.
We all do.
Uhh! I think we should just sign off men for good.
- Single ladies club! - I'm in! - What about me? - Ohh.
You can be honorary "member.
" "Member.
" Yes, please.
Well, as Madonna once said, "Power is being told that you're not loved and then not being destroyed by it.
" Mmm, yeah, I'll drink to that.
To the Carsely Single Ladies Society.
A life without men.
- A life without those bastards.
- A life without men! Come along, ladies.
My party.
Sorry, James.
What fish? I can't really hear you.
Yeah, no, it looks like she's definitely back.
I don't want to be your go- between.
Just call her, James.
Please.
James? Ja Come on, girls.
- Done it before, haven't you? - I have done it before.
- It lives! - Oh.
Good morning! Do you know, much as I love you guys, I could really do with a little bit of time on my own right now.
No, Ags.
You're hurting.
You need our support.
It's single ladies together, remember? Do you not have a child? Mm, Guide camp.
And you're here because? Oh, 'cause it's lush.
And your TV's bigger than mine.
I can't face London now, Aggie.
My heart is broken.
It's shattered into tiny little pieces, so I'm taking a couple of days off work.
Do you know what? Uh, I really I really need to do quite a lot of thinking.
Mrs.
Raisin.
Welcome home! Mr.
Lacey not with you? - No.
Oh! God.
- What?! Oh! What the heck? See? You need us to protect you.
Settle down, settle down, settle down.
Mrs.
Raisin has nothing further to say and trusts you will respect her privacy at this very difficult time.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
What do you mean, difficult time? What?! Really! No one gave a damn about what I did in London.
Well, that's the charm and the curse of village life.
But how am I gonna get rid of them? Roy and Gemma are dealing with it.
For now.
You'll just have to front it out.
How? The village ladies society are meeting today.
- You are joking.
- But they're like family.
I wasn't that keen on my own family.
Come on.
We've got a concert to plan, and you have such great ideas.
Right, well, here's one for nothing.
Let's plan not to do it! You really are in a bad way.
Have you have you heard anything from James? Oh, just the odd text about the garden, building maintenance, stuff like that.
So nothing? Nothing about about me or? James is not the man I thought he was.
All the more reason for you to come today.
Show those gossips that you're over him.
Mrs.
Bloxby was telling me about your new club.
Yes, but you have to be single, Beryl.
Mr.
Boggle and I are on a break.
- He never liked Sergio.
- Her budgie.
Came home from Zumba, he was nowhere to be seen.
Bernard said he'd flown away but I found blue feathers down the waste disposal.
He did not! Evil old goat.
Banished him to his sister's in Moreton.
Well, I always knew he was a bit strange, but I never saw him as a budgie killer.
You can never truly trust a man.
They're all barbarians at heart.
I couldn't agree more.
Boggle, you're in.
Well, if everyone's got tea, I'd like to open the meeting, please.
Well, I think that concludes our business.
Soz.
Soz.
Hi, Gemma.
Didn't think you were coming.
No, neither did I.
Roy made me.
All that does is leave me to say many thanks to Mrs.
Boggle for agreeing to organize our annual concert.
And to Mrs.
Darry for agreeing to do the teas.
Now we just need some performers.
I can play the recorder, as usual.
Gemma? I could do my Lady Gaga if you're desperate.
I, um I I could read some Pam Ayres.
Oh, that's lovely, Liza.
Thank you so much.
- Who's that? - Oh, you know, uh "Ohh, I wish I'd looked after my teeth.
" I know that.
I mean who's that? Oh, uh, yeah, Liza Friendly.
She moved to Carsely around Christmastime.
Bit beige, but basically harmless.
What about you, Mrs.
Raisin? Surely our local celebrity must have some party piece up her sleeve? Oh, I'm afraid, Mrs.
Darry, I don't have any talent.
Neither do they.
Doesn't stop them.
Okay, I think we'll leave it there, ladies.
There are forms by the door for anyone who'd like to sign up.
Thanks so much.
Um, just let me introduce you to Agatha.
Agatha, I don't think you've met Deirdra Darry.
She's taken over Vale View Pharmacy in Evesham.
Yes.
Our paths have crossed.
Oh, sorry, I had no idea you were Carsely's famous, well- coiffed sleuth.
- Not with those roots.
- Huh.
Right, pardon my French now, Mrs.
Vicar, but that woman is a total bitch.
Ohh.
Look at this mess.
It's all the stress.
I have let myself go.
Come on, it just needs a little attention.
Oh, actually, somebody recommended a marvelous new stylist in Evesham.
I've got his card somewhere.
Yep, Jonny Shawpart.
There you go.
I've heard he's overrated, overpriced.
- He thinks he's God's gift.
- That's every man I've ever met.
Yeah, well, I don't care if he's a serial killer if he can sort out this mess.
Here for the special? Is this Studio JS? No.
That's further down the high street.
This is Eve of Evesham.
But I can squeeze you in for a cut and color? No one does a purple rinse like Eve.
Do you know, I'm not quite sure I'm there yet.
There comes a time when you have to embrace your age, Mrs.
Raisin, not hide from it.
Oh, Sir Charles, you shouldn't have! Well, they're for Agatha, actually.
Well, she's she's not in.
Well, perhaps you can take them for her.
- Nice tan.
- Hard to avoid.
Cyprus is bloody hot.
- You were in Cyprus? - Didn't Aggie tell you? No.
No, she didn't.
Whoo Knock, knock.
Agatha Raisin.
I'm seeing Jonny at 3:00.
Oh, yeah, I can see why you needed an emergency appointment.
Jonny? Jonny, your three o'clock's here.
Heh.
Your skin tone could take a much richer color, Agatha.
- It's a cool name, by the way.
- Is it? Thank you.
And I'm thinking something more dramatic stylewise.
Yeah, to be honest, I could do with a change.
There's a woman on the phone.
Says she's left loads of messages.
I said no interruptions.
She says it's important.
I could start the color if you like.
My client is paying for a consultation with the style director.
You really think she'd be happy with shampoo boy? No, Jonny.
If I ask you to do something, you do it.
You understand? Yes, Jonny.
Sorry.
Thinks he can run before he can walk, that one.
It's all part of the mentoring process.
And there's no way that I was gonna let him anywhere near your gorgeous locks.
I'm not doing this anymore.
But you've got three shampoos and a Himalayan body scrub stacking up.
I can't go back in there.
Jonny's a monster.
You just really wind him up.
He's a pussycat really.
You know what he said to me this morning? No.
Back in the day, I'd be Evesham's village idiot.
Truth hurts, though, Gaz.
Call center's hiring if you're interested.
I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know how much longer I can bear it, Jonny.
Pete cares more about his trains than he does about me.
You deserve so much more, Maggie.
He never even looks at me, let alone you know.
It's like I don't exist.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
You are a wonderful, special woman, Maggie.
Mm, mm, mm.
Ready? Yes.
See? You look 10 years younger.
Well, I don't really, but thanks.
Why do you keep putting yourself down? You are absolutely stunning.
No, Angelina Jolie's stunning.
I'm just kind of okayish in a sort of "older woman" kind of way.
Has someone hurt you recently, Agatha? Keeping secrets is all part of the job.
You can tell me yours over dinner if you like.
Uh That's my lift.
I better go.
Ooh.
Blueberry Diva.
Deliciously moreish.
I don't.
But thanks for asking.
- Is that your boss? - Mm- hmm.
He seems very popular with the ladies.
The whole of Evesham's trying to get in his pants.
But he's only interested in old slappers.
The richer the better.
Not his biggest fan, then? No.
He is.
I'm guessing that's his car.
Yeah, he doesn't deserve it.
The way he treats people.
Roy Silver.
If you ever want to talk or may Are you one of the single ladies or are you not? What about you and Mr.
Hair? If I hadn't have arrived when I did Listen, we made a pact.
I'm not about to break it.
Neither am I.
You never said Lord Toffee Nose was in Cyprus.
Didn't I? Not as bad as this one.
I caught him outside the salon flirting with the shampoo boy.
Right, he's not just a shampoo boy.
He also does blow- dries.
And so what if we've been tempted? We haven't succumbed.
Not yet.
I'll pick up my golf bag later.
Make sure it's ready this time.
Yes, Rob.
See you soon.
Bill! Heard you were back.
Your hair looks, um, unusual? Thank you.
Come here.
Give us a hug.
I've missed you.
Just wanted to say how sorry I am about you and James.
I shouldn't have encouraged you to follow him.
Well, I shouldn't have pushed you and Gemma together.
Not really very good at this love thing, you and I, are we? Wilkes.
He's on my case 24- 7.
It's driving me insane.
This is the same Wilkes whose work ethic involved eating burgers and jumping out of bushes? He's been on an advanced policing course.
Ohh.
Sounds like you need a good old moan over a good old bottle of merlot.
What about tonight? Yeah, I'd love to.
Actually, I forgot I'm out tonight.
But, um, I'll call you.
Okay.
So hairy you could stuff a mattress.
I'm gonna do you a organic decaf chai latte, and I'll smash you an avocado if you're peckish.
Poach me an egg.
Obviously it looked great when you did it, but clearly I do not have the time or the skills for this tousled "natural" look.
Natural can be sexy.
Especially on you.
Right, let's get you shampooed and make you beautiful again.
And Jonny will be with you in a few minutes.
Mm- hmm.
You're not trying to impress him.
No, no, no.
Jonny.
You just want to look your best for you, don't you? Oof.
Who are you trying to kid? Don't Don't cry.
Don't cry! Get your hands Don't push me! Don't push me, or I'll get nasty! I can't go on like this.
Please.
You don't have a choice.
Do as I say, or I'll make sure you suffer.
Listen.
Aah! Oh! Help! Can C- Can someone help? Need a hand, Agatha? Uh Yes, please.
My neighbors are always kicking off.
Do you know, I think they get a buzz out of it.
Ooh.
You are so tense.
You're, uh, not married, then? Mm.
I was.
But we were just kids.
Split up not long after.
All very amicable.
How about you? Well, uh, let's just say that I've not been quite as lucky in love as I have been in business.
So we're both free agents now? So that's one kung pao beef, one chicken chow mein.
- Crispy seaweed.
- Crispy seaweed.
- Capital ribs.
- Capital ribs.
Sarah's getting us a Chinese! I'm having pork balls, obviously.
What do you fancy, Aggie? Actually, I'm just heading out.
Meeting my aunt.
Heh.
Yes, she is a bit of a stickler for punctuality, so, uh I better get going.
Heh! How's this? A bottle each? Plus a cocktail.
I've got a bottle of Napoleon brandy back at mine if you fancy a little What?! Ready? I'm ready.
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
I don't think my legs are quite Liza.
Liza! Hey, it's Agatha.
Oh.
Bit weird.
- Do you know her? - No.
No, I never seen her before in my life.
- Let's go.
- Where's the exit? Agatha.
Agatha.
Agatha, wake up.
Wake up.
Agatha.
Oh! Yes.
Can I get you to come back to mine? I can't.
I can't because I can't.
There's a A man is coming to trim my thatch first thing in the morning, so I've I've got to yeah.
You forgot something.
Oh! You look so beautiful in this light.
- Do you know that? - Yeah.
Huh.
I I I think I think there's a I think there might be a storm coming tonight.
I mean, coming back here late, drunk.
Treating this place like a hotel.
It is actually my house.
You lied to us, Aggie.
- The trust is broken.
- We want the truth now.
- Otherwise you're grounded.
- For a month.
All right! It wasn't my aunt.
Oh, bloody hypocrite.
Okay, so I fancied him.
But I don't now.
Oh, yeah.
Looked like it an' all.
Listen, I was just trying to humor him.
- So that he didn't suspect.
- Suspect what? That I thought there was something a bit weird going on.
Liza Friendly was at the pub.
She saw him, and she couldn't get away fast enough.
He claimed that he didn't know who she was, which I didn't believe.
And then I get home, and I find this at the door.
"Jonny Shawpart is dangerous.
Get out before it's too late".
And you think this came from Liza? Yeah, well, who else is it gonna be from? Gaz said something about Jonny targeting old slappers.
Sorry.
Mature women.
Especially those who are loaded.
Sorry.
If Liza's so scared, why doesn't she contact the police? Because Jonny is a keeper of secrets.
What if she had something that he was holding against her? - Blackmail.
- Blackmail.
Liza might not be his only victim.
I feel another investigation coming on.
I'm gonna talk to Liza.
I think she's obviously hiding something.
Gemma, you can go to the salon undercover.
Oh, no, I can't 'cause Kyra's at Guide camp.
- Oh, Kyra! - I'll go.
If the women of this parish are in danger, - it's my duty to protect them.
- Perfect! So if Jonny Shawpart is up to something, - the single ladies - And Sarah.
and Sarah are not gonna let him get away with it.
Oh, hi.
Is Liza in? What's it about? The ladies society concert.
Agatha! I'd offer you tea, but we're about to go out.
Oh, it won't take long.
I, um, just wanted to check that you were okay.
Why wouldn't I be? Last night.
Oh, that.
I was rushing to the ladies.
I should never eat prawns.
They go right through me.
So, uh, you didn't leave that note? Uh, thanks for popping by, Agatha! Uh, I'll see you at rehearsal.
Is it itchy, though, or is it smelly? Oh, it's both? Right, okay.
Yeah.
No, there's cream for that.
Don't worry.
Yeah, no, I've had that.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Oh, I'd like an appointment with Jonny Shawpart, please.
Oh, you and every other sex- starved woman living in the Cotswolds.
Call you back, Mum.
He's fully booked for the next six weeks, I'm afraid.
I- I'll wait for a cancellation.
- He's not in till later.
- I'll come back then.
Okay.
Just so you know, I'm not sex- starved.
I'm a happily married vicar's wife with a very adventurous love life.
Praise the Lord.
- Hi, Bill.
- They had a break- in last night.
Bloody kids.
They're like cockroaches, aren't they? Get in anywhere.
I'll see you then.
I don't know what came over me.
Don't worry.
You're only bigging up what the Bible says.
Go forth and multiply.
Jez would be proud.
Well, at least I didn't mention role- play.
That was on the tip of my tongue.
That's Jonny's car.
What's he doing here? She's old enough to be his mother.
Jez was with a older woman when we first met.
Taught him everything he knows.
I'm rather grateful, really.
- Jez is quite the man.
- Mm.
Yes, he is.
Listen! Now he's showing his true colors.
Gotcha.
- That's not good.
- Unh- unh.
- We should probably help.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
Look at that.
That's bad.
Her name's Maggie.
She's in an unhappy marriage.
Jonny was all over her at the salon.
So, what do we do now? What do we do? We flush him out.
Are the single ladies still accepting members? Oh, really? Not you as well.
Jez is threatening to cancel our holiday.
It was supposed to be our second bloody honeymoon.
I know! You have been planning it for ages.
Well, the bishop was appalled by all the buckets in the church, so Jez says he can't in all conscience go anywhere until we raise money for the repairs.
Leave it with me.
I owe you after today.
- Where are you going? - See you at the meeting.
Sarah deserves her holiday.
And how amazing would it be if we could all help get her there? But the concert, as it stands, does not really raise the amount of funds that we need.
So, with my old P.
R.
hat on, may I suggest a bit of a rebrand.
A burlesque extravaganza! I've always fancied meself in a basque.
I couldn't.
Rob wouldn't let me.
What's it got to do with Rob? This is not about him.
This is for us.
It is not for anyone else.
Dress it up all you like.
It's just glorified stripping.
Ah, you see, that's where you're wrong.
It's much more than that.
This is about feeling confident in your own skin, about feeling powerful, beautiful.
It doesn't matter how old you are, whether you're fat or thin.
I'm not sure.
Sarah! Think about the W.
I.
ladies with their calendars.
That wasn't degrading.
I bet they all had their doubts.
It was inspiring! It was liberating! I have contacts who can help with merchandising.
Think about it.
Mugs, tea towels, T- shirts.
With the right marketing, we could get the money to save this church roof.
This could be massive.
Yeah, I'm up for it.
And so am I.
As long as it's tastefully done.
Well! You'll be getting my resignation in the morning, Mrs.
Bloxby.
Nice one, Aggie.
Don't forget your broomstick on the way out.
Well, let's have a show of hands.
All those in favor? Uh, I'm sorry, Sarah.
I- I wish I could, but I- I can't.
Sarah.
Yeah.
Jonny's agreed to meet me at the White Hart for lunch.
Game on.
Testing, testing.
One, two, three.
Hear you loud and clear.
Over.
Target is on his way.
Over.
Target has arrived.
Looking like an absolute whopper.
Over.
- Doot! - Oh! Oh! Hi! Oh, my God.
What happened? Joy rider ran into me.
Face hit the windscreen.
Car's a complete write- off.
But I'm fine now.
- Are you sure? - Eh, it's just a few bruises.
Well, I just wanted to say I am sorry for getting so drunk.
Ah, no need.
It's just a shame we didn't have that nightcap.
Well, it gives us an opportunity to get to know each other a little.
Like, for example, what are you doing here? I mean, you don't strike me as a country bumpkin type.
I was working too hard.
Sold the Bristol salon for a small fortune.
Escaped to Evesham for the country dream.
Oh, well, you're looking good on it.
Partly down to these.
Vitamins from L.
A.
Vale View Pharmacy managed to track them down for me.
Trouble is I'm so chilled now, I'm restless.
I need a new challenge.
Yes.
I know the feeling.
I'm thinking about starting a salon in London.
Mayfair.
Bond Street.
Oh, do you know, I would love to go back.
I have made such a mess of things here.
We could go together.
- Why not? - What? Well, I know how to run a successful salon.
You know how to run a high- end P.
R.
campaign.
Mm, well, I have been looking for an investment.
And I've been looking for a woman to invest in.
There is something you should know before this goes any further.
I am in a relationship.
But it's complicated.
Things haven't been going well, and then James went away, and, uh, I well, I, um, slept with his best friend, Charles.
Just the once.
Oh, dear.
It's okay, Agatha.
We all make mistakes.
But what you don't understand is that Charles is a psychopath.
He's pathologically jealous.
He refuses to let me go, and James is gonna come back any day now, and - I'm here now.
- Ohh! But I don't want you to get all involved.
I'm already involved.
Tell me all about it.
We can deal with it together.
But first let's get a bottle.
Agatha! Did you get my flowers? Charles! You're a violent psycho, jealous, and can't bear to see me with another man! I really like you, Agatha, but that's going to far.
It's role- play, Charles.
Just go with it.
I'll explain later.
Oh! Uh, Jonny.
This is Charles.
Oh, just you calm down! I don't want another one of your jealous episodes! So you're stalking her now? Yes, uh, Jonny is my hairdresser, who did such a beautiful job on my hair that I just wanted to take him out to lunch to thank him.
Oh, and you expect me to believe that, do you? You lying little tart! - Oh! Aah! - You're coming with me! Oh! No, please! Hands off me! Get your hands off her.
Listen, if I were you, I'd damn well stay out of this.
Or what? Or I'll give you a big fat fist sandwich.
Smash your nose to smithereens.
Before or after I cut off your balls off and stuff them down your throat? Time to go, Charlie boy.
Not so brave now, are you? You okay? I'm gonna just make sure he leaves.
I'll be right back.
Hello? Hello.
Hello, hello? I can't hear you.
You're breaking up.
You're breaking up.
Listen, listen.
Listen to me.
Stop your pathetic sniveling and listen.
I don't care how hard it is.
Get me that money, or it's all over.
He needs money.
Why? Business is booming.
Plus he drives a 100- grand car.
Or he did, until he wrote it off.
Maybe he just gets off on the power, uses it to ensnare women and control their every move.
Or it's greed, pure and simple.
He says he wants to go into business with me.
Needs an investor.
Wants to rip you off, more like.
I'm gonna go back to the salon.
Gonna keep stringing him along until we get the proof that we need.
I could go undercover.
Gaz offered me a free Thai massage.
- Hey.
- Oh! Oh.
Hey! Roy.
Let's get you on that table, shall we? I've got some fabulous oils with your name on them, actually, so Want to Can't wait.
Okay, come on through.
Mind how you go there.
I like your trainers.
My nan's got a pair.
The mud pack is straight from the Dead Sea.
But you're not dead yet.
So that's good, isn't it? I'm just gonna make this a bit tighter.
See, it's supposed to help with wrinkles, but I think you might've left it too late.
Mm.
That's a busy little fingernail you've got going on there.
Toxic Jade.
Gorgeous, aren't they? We've got a promotion on neons at the moment, but neons don't complement the aging hand.
So if I was you, I'd go for, like, a nude.
With a pearlescent shimmer or something, like the queen.
Thanks, Josie.
Oh, can I get you anything? Like a water? Green tea? Smashed avocado? - No, thank you.
- Okay.
Do you think all this is really necessary? Your complexion will be more radiant.
Trust me.
Josie thinks I'm beyond restoration.
Her lack of tact masks a heart of gold.
She clearly adores you.
It's just a crush.
Like she could ever compete with you, Agatha.
I'm really not that special, Jonny.
Ooh.
Been thinking about you all day.
- Can't concentrate.
- Are you okay? Oh, sorry.
I'll be right back.
Ohhhhhhhhh, that is sweeeeeeet! Jonny hasn't got any nicer, then? No.
Still treating me like his little bitch.
Ow! Soon as I qualify, I'm out of here.
What was that? Sounds suspiciously like a happy ending.
Eww.
Josie will do anything for a big tip.
That bloke's not the only thing she's creaming off.
Yuck.
Cash has been disappearing from the office.
Jonny keeps accusing me, but I know it's her.
That didn't sound very happy.
Aah! Yeah, Salon JS, Evesham high street.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Police and ambulance are on their way.
What are you doing? I found a letter from Liza Friendly in Jonny's man bag, begging him to stop blackmailing her.
Where are you going? To his house.
His address was on the envelope.
To do what exactly? I think that all of Jonny's women had secrets, and that was why he chose them.
If I don't destroy the evidence, their lives are gonna be ruined.
But what if it was murder? One of Jonny's women could be his killer.
Listen, you just go and stall the police for as long as you can.
Aggie.
You've got a green face.
Mm! Everybody stay where they are.
This is now officially a crime scene.
You think it's murder? I cannot reveal anything until the escalated working practices have been escalated and the decision- making systems for the newly categorized complex investigation have been implemented.
He's been on a course.
Golf, or? Nobody is permitted to leave until all threat, risk, and vulnerability factors have been assessed, including any potential link to organized crime and terrorism.
Terrorism? Oh, my God.
No need to panic.
What D.
C.
I.
Wilkes means is we'll have to take a statement before we can let you leave.
Well, we're not all here.
Someone's done a runner.
- Who? - Mrs.
Agatha Raisin.
Joy rider, my ass.
Which supermarket is this suit from? So Agatha vanished into thin air without a word to her best mate? I had a deceased hairdresser to deal with.
It's all a bit of a blur.
Under Subsection 2 of the 1911 Perjury Act, I could arrest you on suspicion of telling porkies.
Go on, then.
But I swear to God I have absolutely no idea where she is.
Liza Friendly? Liza very friendly.
Maggie Henderson?! Oh! How is she even doing that? Deirdra Darry? Seriously?! Oh, God.
Ohh! Come on, Roy.
Think.
What would Madonna do? Ahh.
Destroy the evidence! In we go.
In we go.
I'm coming! Mrs.
Agatha Raisin.
- What's that weird smell? - Roy.
He's developed a severe problem with foot odor, and he's finding it very difficult to shift.
As you are no doubt aware, Jonny Shawpart was found dead at his salon earlier today, a death we're treating as suspicious under Section 4, Subsection 2b of, uh Wait.
I've lost the page.
And you, Mrs.
Raisin - Yes? - Where was I? We have a witness who claims you absconded from the scene minutes after the said victim's demise.
"Give the suspect the earliest opportunity to explain why the offense took place.
" No, I didn't mean to read that bit out loud.
Where did you go? Well, I came home.
I was in shock.
and I I didn't know what to do with myself.
So you were nowhere near Mr.
Shawpart's residence at any point today? No.
So you know nothing about the fire at his home? No.
Oh.
We've got a forensic lead at the property.
I need to speak to the F.
O.
Why are you wearing a dressing gown? Bill, I simply felt the need for lounge wear.
I was feeling a little stressed.
Do you have a problem with that? I'm perfectly fine now.
I can just Experience tells me you're more involved in this than you're letting on.
All right, okay.
So is this the bit where you tell me not to get involved in detecting, is it? No, actually.
I need your help.
Wilkes regurgitating the rule book is getting us nowhere.
You share what you know.
I'll do the same.
Then maybe we can solve this case together.
Oh, Bill! I don't I don't know anything.
This isn't a game, Agatha.
They reckon Jonny was poisoned.
And not just any old poison.
His symptoms indicate ricin, which was injected into vitamins found at the scene.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah! And according to witness statements, you were with him the day before he died, in the salon when he died, and then you do a runner.
If you're not the murderer, why take such a close interest in Jonny Shawpart? He was blackmailing some of his clients.
Why not come to us first? Because I was trying to stop him before anybody else got hurt.
Some of his victims had far too much lose.
Jonny's murder means his victims are now suspects.
Mrs.
Raisin? It was arson.
Started by an accelerant chemical substance as yet unknown.
Well, any witnesses? I'm not authorized to reveal classified information to my prime suspect.
You're not supposed to tell her she's your prime suspect, sir.
Mm? Mrs.
Raisin was familiar with the victim.
Maybe she can shed some light on the footage we received.
This individual was seen entering the property from a neighbor's security camera.
Blacked- out face.
Black- hooded mac.
Nothing whatsoever to identify them.
Apart from the distinctive shiny trainers with red laces, sir.
Apart from that, obviously.
So do you recognize this person, Mrs.
Raisin? No.
This isn't over, Mrs.
Raisin.
Not by a long chalk! Everything all right, Agatha? Yes.
Yes.
Uh I'm I'm the new neighborhood watch warden.
You? Yes.
Uh, they were just bringing me some information packs.
So there was nothing to identify our friendly neighborhood fire starter? Mnh- mnh.
Nothing.
Roy, what if they think it's me? The forensics are there at Jonny's house right now, mooching around.
- Do they know how he died? - Yes! The killer injected his vitamins with ricin.
Ricin? Ricin.
"Ricin is one of the most poisonous substances on earth.
It is derived from the seeds of the castor oil plant.
" Castor oil plant.
I mean? We need to find out who has one, and if so, whether there's any connections with Jonny.
Mm! I told Deirdra Darry that I was made neighbor watch warden.
So that gives us carte blanche to go rooting around in people's herbaceous borders.
Right.
Come on.
Let's get cracking.
Oh, no, we can't.
We've got the costume fitting with Gemma, and I'm stage manager now.
But I can do some subtle asking around.
"Nice weather we're having.
Do you have a castor oil plant?" Probably not like that.
But Sarah knows everything about everyone, so let's just ask her.
Right, come on.
We have a plan.
Okay.
Now, try them on in the toilets and then come and see Eve, who has kindly joined us as hair and beauty consultant.
- We're going full- on glamour.
- Ooh! Oh, and ladies, there've been reports that Peeping George is in the vicinity.
So no undressing near any of the windows.
That's a shame.
You You have to call Agatha, James.
Well, she keeps asking if I know where you are, and you know how much I hate lying.
These are lush, Mrs.
B.
Where'd you get them from? Found a catalog in Bernard Boggle's bedside cabinet.
- He's a dark horse.
- Pshh, you're not wrong.
He's hung like an Arab stallion.
- Who is? - Oh, you don't want to know.
I do, please.
- What do you reckon? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I love it.
Very dominatrix.
You'll terrify the blokes in that.
If they can't handle it, tough.
We are not pandering to any of them anymore.
Yeah.
And we've got you to thank for that, Mrs.
Raisin.
Thanks, Mrs.
Raisin.
I've got some nipple tassels that'll look magnificent on you, Mrs.
Benson.
Now, where are they, Roy dear? Come on, then, Boggler.
She's had a bit of a personality transplant, hasn't she? Since she kicked her old man out.
She never used to thank anyone for anything.
Single- lady life clearly suits her.
Can you give me a hand, Gemma, if it's not too much trouble? Yeah, sure.
- I feel like such a fraud.
- Why? Everyone thanking me for their newfound emancipation.
First sniff of male attention, and I nearly sniffed him.
You didn't succumb.
Only because I realized he was a blackmailer and I was gonna be his next victim.
Otherwise I would have been right in there.
So you've stopped missing James, then? No.
This is because I miss him.
Well, he'll be back.
I'm sure of it.
But do you think he's gonna be coming back to me? Ohhh.
Listen to me! I'm more of a sap than Liza Friendly, mooning over a man who quite frankly does not deserve me.
I haven't heard from Liza in a while.
I've been calling her, but Oh, I know that face.
Is she in trouble? She could be.
Jonny was blackmailing her.
I think her husband must have found out.
And someone took a pop at Jonny a couple of days before he died.
Rob Friendly may be an unreconstructed Neanderthal, but he's not a murderer.
Yeah, well, I just need to find out, make sure she's okay.
Do you want me to come with you? Oh, no, it's okay.
Oh, but you could help me.
Do you know of anyone in Carsely that's got a castor oil plant? Not off the top of my head.
But I could snoop around.
I just wanted to check you were okay.
Sarah Bloxby said she'd been trying to reach you.
Rob doesn't want me involved.
Says it's degrading.
Sorry! I need to talk to you about Jonny.
Did Rob know about this? So he wasn't the one who attacked Jonny? If Rob knew I was cheating, it wouldn't be Jonny he'd hurt.
Mum gave me some money when she sold her house.
ã12,000.
Rob knew nothing about it.
Mum didn't trust him.
- But you told Jonny.
- I thought he loved me.
He was so kind, caring.
Told me I was beautiful.
And then he went cold on you.
I couldn't understand it.
So I started following him.
I saw him with that old frump Maggie.
What did she have that I didn't? More money, probably.
I bombarded him with texts telling him how much I loved him.
And he threatened to show them to Rob? I gave him half my mum's money in cash, and he deleted the texts in front of me, but he'd kept copies then demanded more money.
When I heard he was dead, I thought I'd escaped from hell.
Did you see him with anyone else? That Josie was always hanging around.
I was so jealous.
Liza?! Liza?! - You'll have to go out the back.
- Forgot my bloody golf balls! None of this can ever come out, Agatha.
Promise me.
I'd rather die.
I won't let anything happen.
I swear.
Oof! Come on, come on.
Agatha, are you all right? Oh! Yes, I'm fine.
Where are you? I think you're right.
So that means that Jonny was blackmailing Deirdra Darry, and she was poisoning him to prevent anyone finding out about the affair.
Well, it fits the pattern.
So that means that Jonny actually oh! Did the deed with Deirdra.
It just seems a bit of a stretch, don't you think? Oh, Jonny would do anything for money.
Even Deirdra Darry.
And guess which pharmacy supplied his vitamins.
Deirdra Darry again! - Oh, you're good at this lark.
- I know.
We still need to make sure that this plant is what we think it is.
Mrs.
Boggle.
She's quite the botanist.
I'll get her a cutting.
- Reggie! - She's back, she's back! Come to Mummy! I've got treatipoos! What on earth is going on? Neighborhood watch.
We, uh, thought we saw an intruder.
- False alarm.
- Really? But I am gonna have to check out your internal security.
- If that's okay.
- No! It's not okay.
Now, get off my property before I call the police.
- You go to Mrs.
Boggle.
- I'm not leaving you! Listen, I'm fine.
I can handle it.
Go! He's only following his instincts.
Just like you were with Jonny Shawpart? I know you were the one that supplied the vitamins that killed him.
Not here.
Come inside.
My late husband, Keith, he did a big plumbing job for Jonny when he first moved to the area.
He was a master plumber.
Course he was.
Keith always wanted me to have the best of everything.
Couldn't always afford it, though.
What's this got to do with Jonny? Keith installed a whole heating system.
Kitchen, three bathrooms.
And all for cash.
He didn't declare it.
- I had no idea.
- But Jonny did.
He told me that if I didn't give him ã10,000, that he would tell the HMRC, they'd be forced to investigate, and it could ruin me.
So you thought you had to do something.
I am not a murderer, Mrs.
Raisin.
The police, however, may conclude differently.
I need to do some investigating of my own.
Well, if you find anything you may find helpful, then maybe You may think you're the new Miss Marple.
I have an IQ of 158.
And a shrewd and inquiring mind.
I'll solve this puzzle far more efficiently on my own.
Now, if you don't mind.
Well, if you change your mind, call me.
You're scented, I'm afraid.
All the village dogs will be after you now.
Just like all the village men seem to be.
Reggie.
Come on.
- Agatha? - I'll explain later! Aah! Oh! Get away! Ah! I think you owe me an explanation.
Ah, yes.
Uh, right.
Uh Where to start? Um It's complicated.
I risked life, limb, and testicles for your little role- play.
It won't happen again, Charles.
But I loved playing detective with you in Cyprus.
And And that wasn't all I loved.
Charles.
But, listen, look, your We're good together! - Agatha! - Go! Goodbye! Do you believe Deirdra Darry's denial? I'm not sure.
She definitely has motive.
And she's a pharmacist.
She would know how to extract ricin.
If we could prove that the seeds came from her castor oil plant We can't.
Oh, sorry.
Hello.
Uh, according to Mrs.
Boggle, it's the Fatsia japonica, otherwise known as the fake castor oil plant.
Same leaves, no poisonous seeds.
Seriously? So you mean all that creeping about in bushes and getting pissed on was for nothing? Let's rewind to the beginning.
First time you went to the salon, you said you heard a couple fighting.
I did.
Did we ever find out who they were? We didn't.
Jonny said it was warring neighbors, but I think that voice could've been his.
We need to see if they actually exist.
I can do that.
Oh, I forgot to say I think we've found Maggie.
Oh.
Hello? The gentle moonlight kissing the soft orbs of your ivory breasts, just like I want to now.
Oh, Fernando.
I wish I could tell you to stop, but I can't.
I really I'd never experienced true romance before.
Jonny made me feel so wanted.
Unlike your husband.
It was as if one of my favorite characters had come to life.
Then he started to refuse my calls.
I couldn't get an appointment.
So I sent letters expressing my passion.
Graphic at times.
And finally he agreed to meet me in the park.
Jonny knew I'd been saving for a new life.
Nearly ã10,000.
He threatened to tell my husband about us and my plans to leave if I didn't hand over the money in 24 hours.
I thought he was bluffing.
The Jonny I knew would never betray me like that.
But this wasn't one of your romantic novels.
When I failed to meet the deadline, he dropped the letters at Pete's work.
- The same day that Jonny got - Smashed on the nose.
Punched.
Pete can snap if he's pushed too far.
But is he capable of murder? Not with poison.
If he'd wanted to kill Jonny, he'd have done it with his bare hands.
Well, thank you for that, Sarah.
So Jonny was lying about the neighbors.
That building has not been occupied for months.
So Mr.
Raging was Jonny.
Who was he talking to? How many other women were there? Liza and Maggie both had motive.
Yes, but no actual evidence to connect them to the murder.
And I think they were both still in love with him.
Which Deirdra Darry never was.
But she supplied the vitamins and had the technical know- how to pull it off.
She was just desperate to protect her nest egg.
- And her reputation.
- She'll still be at work.
We could take a little look around.
That doesn't sound entirely legal.
Since when has that bothered you? Good afternoon, Russell.
I'm not taking any chances this time with that dog.
I don't think that Reggie's in.
There's no barking.
Oh, my God.
Roy.
No sign of a break- in, sir.
There are two cups on the table.
Oh, that sounds like she must have known her killer.
Did you see anyone, Mrs.
Raisin? No.
And why should I believe you? Your car was caught on CCTV less than a mile from Mr.
Shawpart's house on the day of the fire, and you said you'd been nowhere near it.
Yes.
I had run out of milk.
The village shop sells milk.
Yes, it does.
But it doesn't sell goat's milk.
I have an allergy.
They need your permission to move the body, sir.
I haven't finished with you.
You're gonna tell me everything you know.
- And did you? - Of course not.
I know what you're thinking.
Maggie and Liza have gone through quite enough without Wilkes poking his big clumsy oar in.
So, what are you thinking? I'm thinking of how very little we know about Jonny's life before he came here.
You think his "escape to the country" story is a cover? Go to Bristol.
See if you can find out.
Hairdressing world's quite small.
Maybe Gaz knows something.
Why don't you make another appointment? - Well, the salon's closed.
- Oh.
Sorry.
Eve's taken it over.
And kept all the staff.
Even Josie.
Now, Josie's one of Jonny's fan club that seems to have gone under our radar.
I mean, what do we actually know about her? Gaz said she was stealing cash from the business.
What if Jonny found out? If Josie's attracted to no- good serial philanderers, maybe we should ask Charles Fraith? Yeah, I'd rather not pander to his giant ego.
You didn't mind pandering to his giant ego in Cyprus.
I'll go to Bristol.
No comment.
Oh.
And there was I thinking that you'd changed your mind.
A little rumpy- pumpy for old times' sake.
Oh, Charles, I am trying to erase that chapter from my memory.
No, I need you to go undercover.
I'll go under your covers anytime.
Not mine! - Somebody else's.
- Go on.
I need you to take a pretty, pert- breasted 20- something to dinner.
At my expense.
To do what? I need you to use your suave, debonair charm to suss out her relationship with Jonny Shawpart.
Oh, and, uh, Charles, this isn't an actual date.
So no actual shagging.
Of course not.
I'm a professional.
Mm.
Hair by JN was the coolest salon in Bristol.
Three- month waiting list.
Features in national magazines.
So when he came to Evesham I bet you couldn't believe your luck.
- Mm- hmm.
- There you go, Agatha.
Thank you.
What do they say? Never meet your heroes.
You're happy now here, though, are you? With Eve? Oh, yeah.
She's been totally amazeballs.
I don't know what I'd have done without her.
But I am thinking of going into dog grooming.
More money, less hassle.
Dogs are so much nicer than people.
Yeah.
Not all of them.
Oh! Aaah! I don't normally drink this much.
You're a terrible influence.
Well, I've been told that before.
Cheers.
My mum told me to stay away from men like you.
But I reckon you're more like a George Clooney- type than a dirty old perv, so You know, when I saw you through the window of that salon, I thought, "I cannot walk past without meeting this vision of loveliness.
" I do have that effect on people.
Must be traumatic, though, working somewhere a man you were so close to died.
He wasn't as nice as everyone thought.
But he had this aura about him that just sucked you in.
It sucked my mum in, that's for sure.
- Your mum? - Yeah.
Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.
Oh.
The night is still young.
- More wine? - Sorry.
White wine gives me terrible gas.
You're not even supposed to have that on.
I thought Roy might have found something in Bristol.
You need to forget about the investigation and focus on getting better.
Oh, the hospital told me it was just concussion.
Oh, damn it, Jez and I have got a meeting with the parish council about the roof.
Well, I'll be fine.
You can go.
If you promise me to take it easy while I'm away.
I promise.
Who's that? - Charles Fraith.
- Oh, perfect.
He can babysit me while you're gone.
But what did he actually do? Jonny blackmailed Josie's mum into believing that her husband was having an affair.
They had revenge sex.
He filmed it.
And he blackmailed her.
Josie got the job as receptionist, with the express intention of ripping Jonny off to the tune of ã7,000.
The money that he'd taken from her mother.
Exactly! Josie knew that Jonny wouldn't be interested in her because she wasn't loaded.
But she was quite interested in me last night.
Oh, Charles, you didn't! She likened me to George Clooney.
It seemed rude not to.
Anyway, I got the information you wanted.
I think I deserve a gold star.
Silver star.
Taking into account your unorthodox methods.
Well, I'd better be going, or else Sarah will have my guts for garters for overtiring you when she returns.
Call me if you need me.
Okay.
Agatha.
I thought you'd want to see these.
Your brake lines were deliberately cut.
Some sort of bright- green paint.
I'm not sure what it is yet.
Toxic Jade.
It was Josie.
Witnesses heard you arguing with Jonny on the morning of his death.
You were stealing from him.
Stock.
Cash.
He was gonna call the police.
But you couldn't let that happen.
It wasn't like that.
We've been going through the CCTV from the security cameras in the salon.
Didn't know you had a twin sister.
I only took what he owed us.
Jonny Shawpart destroyed my family.
So you murdered him.
Just as you tried to murder Mrs.
Agatha Raisin by cutting her brake lines.
No! Look, I swear to God.
Okay, I took some cash.
I had nothing to do with any stock going missing.
Or Mrs.
Raisin's brakes.
There you are! You're supposed to be in bed.
I had to get out for a bit.
Yeah, Sarah said you'd been a terrible patient.
Oh, she'd give Nurse Ratched a run for her money.
So how was Bristol? The plot thickens.
Hair by JN opened in 2012.
The opening was a big deal.
It was featured in all the national magazines.
The mayor was there, local celebs.
The redhead is Natalie, Jonny's first wife.
She looks a bit long in the tooth, even for Jonny.
Not her.
The one with the tattoo, cutting the ribbon.
Three years later, it burned to the ground.
Jonny and Natalie split up soon after the fire.
Guy in the corner shop reckons it was an insurance job, but it was never proved.
Well, we need to do a bit more digging.
I'll try my P.
R.
contacts in Bristol.
So if it was in national magazines, I'll go home, find out which ones, and I will call the editors.
- I'll come with you.
- No.
You finish your manly pint.
- It's just a pint.
- Make those calls.
Somebody must know something.
Oh.
Hello? Hello? James? Charles! What are you doing here? I say, do put that down, Agatha.
I've got us a nice bottle of Côte de Beaune.
You should know better, Agatha.
Underneath a flower pot is the first place any jobbing burglar would look for a spare key.
I thought you were an ax murderer! - You'd run out of kindling.
- Mm! Charles, why are you even here? It's Josie.
She's stalking me.
She wants to move into the manor.
And she's not exactly brood mare material.
So I needed a place to hide out while she gets the message.
Mm, well Still doesn't explain why you're naked and in my dressing gown.
I fancied a bath.
Oh, don't look at me like that, Agatha.
It's really your fault, you know? I didn't tell you to shag her, did I? Oh! Hey.
Uh, any news? Uh, Josie took the afternoon off to prepare for her date.
With you, Sir Charles.
She was nowhere near your car that afternoon.
So it was someone else with green, neon, diamond- encrusted nails, then? It's from a range at the salon.
Freely accessible to staff and clients.
Oh, do you know, come on in.
Just don't bother knocking.
Roll on up.
Whatever.
Sir Charles.
I like to get in touch with my feminine side from time to time, Inspector.
You should try it.
Charles, will you just go upstairs and get dressed? The forensics report back from the fire.
All my training has paid off.
The chemical used to start the fire was peroxide- related.
Peroxide used specifically in hairdressing salons.
How do you know? I did an FBI module in advanced barcode recognition.
But you can barely send a text.
All right.
That was then, Detective Constable Wong.
The barcode was recovered from a charred can.
I put it through a digital tracing program and discovered it was purchased by Jonny Shawpart.
As were the scissors that killed Deirdra Dandry.
Darry.
Deirdra Deirdra Darry.
Darry, Darry.
So our thief was most likely our killer.
Oh.
I You know what? I think you might be onto something.
Well done, sir! I reckon I could still be an FBI agent.
Hi.
Agatha! What about your head? This'll help.
Tried all my contacts in Bristol.
Yes, please.
No one knows any more than we do.
Uh, Sherlock Wilkes does.
- What? - Oh, yes.
He has been on a course.
He's found out that the cause of the fire was peroxide stolen from Salon JS.
So the thief is now our prime suspect.
Roy, what is it? Gaz had a load of peroxide in his boot.
Was that before the fire? Yeah, but there's no way it's Gaz.
He's such a softy.
He wouldn't hurt anyone.
Jonny hated him.
He had access to his vitamins, to my car to cut the brake lines, to the peroxide.
He had means, motive, and an opportunity.
Well, when you put it like that.
So maybe our Gaz isn't quite as innocent as he'd like us to believe.
Agatha! You should've called.
I'm doing some work on the rebranding.
Builders start tomorrow.
Just wanted my hair to look its best for the show.
I mean, you sound very busy, so if Gaz is around Come in.
I'll see what I can do.
Right, this should sort your ends out.
Ongoing, I recommend a hot wrap with coconut oil.
Okay.
Uh So where's Gaz? Upstairs.
Curtains drawn.
Won't talk to anyone.
- Why? - He's beside himself.
You know the police have been sniffing around? No.
They think he could be the murderer.
I know.
Seems ridiculous.
He's such a sweetheart.
But what if he just lost it? I mean, Jonny could be so cruel.
Oh, Jonny was hard on him.
That's an understatement.
The things he told me.
Really? But, I mean, murder? Do you think that Gaz is capable of murder? The police want me to make a statement.
Gaz begged me to lie to them, to corroborate what he told them.
Why would he do that if he wasn't guilty? What are you gonna do? Much as I love him, I'm not prepared to perjure myself.
Right, we'll leave this on for 20 minutes.
Oh, there's my builder.
He wants to go through a couple of things.
Help yourself to magazines.
Gaz? Call Aggie.
Check she's okay.
I'll go after him.
Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Slow down! I'm mid- to- late 30s! Sarah.
I found the plant.
Gaz! Gaz! Gaz! Wondered where you'd got to.
I was looking for a toilet.
Gaz made a quick exit, then.
Poor boy.
I've just remembered I have a concert rehearsal.
- I better leave.
- Just let me wash that out.
- It won't take a sec.
- Yes! Yes, let's do that.
Gaz! Wait! Gaz, Gaz.
It's time to stop now.
Just tip your head back, Agatha.
That's it.
Shouldn't take long.
Let me know if this is too hot.
Oh.
Here.
I feel as if I've seen that tattoo somewhere before.
In a photograph.
Of Jonny's ex- wife.
You're Natalie.
Look, I nicked stuff.
Okay, I admit it.
So who did you sell it to? It wasn't like that.
Eve was struggling to stay afloat, so she asked me to take stock from Jonny just to tide her over.
He could afford it.
What, exactly? Shampoo.
Scissors.
Some peroxide.
So the peroxide I saw in your boot, that ended up at Eve's.
- I was just helping her out.
- And the plant? - What are you talking about? - The one in your room.
That was in Eve's old office.
And when she moved, she insisted I have it.
to brighten up my room.
There, Agatha.
Jonny had very expensive tastes.
Racked up loads of debt.
The fire seemed like the only way out.
When the insurance company became suspicious, Jonny changed tack, told the police that I'd started the fire.
And they believed him.
So I reinvented myself.
How? I had savings Jonny knew nothing about.
Enough for a new identity and to put a deposit on the Evesham salon.
But then Jonny turned up.
Threatened to blow my cover.
Couldn't bear that I'd made it without him.
I was happy for the first time in my life.
I wasn't about to let him ruin it.
I pretended I wanted a reconciliation, and he was vain enough to believe me.
Spent a few nights at his house enough time for me to get a key cut and to doctor his precious vitamins with ricin.
How? I trained in organic beauty therapy.
I knew about distilling compounds from plant extracts.
Injected them into his pills.
I understand how you would want revenge, but why did you want to kill him? He'd destroyed the person I used to be.
I wasn't about to let him destroy Eve too.
Police won't be here for ten minutes.
- Let's try around the back.
- Okay.
Ohh! Relax, Agatha! Ohh.
I had to destroy any evidence I'd been there.
Started the fire using peroxide Gaz had nicked from Jonny.
Oh, the delicious irony.
And Mrs.
Darry? The stress was getting to me.
I couldn't sleep.
My G.
P.
prescribed temazepam.
Mrs.
Darry had to check my medical history.
My old notes were attached to the new ones under a different name Natalie Shawpart.
And she put two and two together.
Then I heard you at the salon asking questions about Hair by JN.
So it was you that cut my brake lines! Only to scare you off.
But you just couldn't leave it.
Ohh.
Ooh! You want to go looking your best.
I'm rubbish at climbing.
Well, I'm scared of heights.
But I'm very brave.
Shouldn't take long.
You'll go up like a torch.
Eve, you're not thinking straight! This is just gonna make things worse! I told you not to smoke, but you wouldn't listen.
And isn't that just like you, Agatha? Never taking no for an answer.
Goodbye, Agatha.
Eve, no! I literally have never done this with a woman! Sarah! The match! Such a brilliant idea, Agatha.
Everyone is loving it.
Everyone who's here.
Are you really sure you're up to it? Tonight is about celebrating the fabulous women that we are.
Loud, proud, and confident! All the qualities that Jonny Shawpart did his best to undermine.
And I am going to enjoy every minute of it.
Aaah! I don't care if you have got a ticket, Peeping George! It doesn't included goosing! Now get out! Oi, get out! Agatha.
Turns out Rob put the house in my name for tax purposes.
Telling him to leave was the best decision of my life.
I wouldn't have had the courage without you, Agatha.
Well done, Agatha.
One step ahead of the plod once again.
It's not that hard around here.
May I say how remarkably alluring you're looking this evening? I am not sleeping with you, Charles.
I said it in Cyprus, and I'll say it again.
You're too good for him.
Everybody ready? Ladies, it's show time.
Yes.
I am.