American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s02e01 Episode Script

1
You got to feel bad
for that dude.
I just don't get
how a guy with no head
could have been
a very good emperor.
Or is Kyle Wilkins
looking extra crispy
with a side of "mmm, mmm"?
Trix, you know me and spud
don't do girl talk.
Yeah, that'd be
fairly creepy.
But speaking
of extra crispy,
the cheerleaders
are looking h-o-t,
spells "smokin'."
So you think
I should tell Stacey
that her beauty haunts
my every waking moment?
Since when are you
crushing on Stacey?
Since our
life-altering encounter
in the cafeteria last Tuesday.
Eww. It touched me.
My head's been
spinning ever since.
Spud, those cheerleaders
can't even pass by a wall
without insulting it.
Ladies, observe the wall.
I'll start it off.
That wall is blank
and stupid.
What's wrong with a little
constructive criticism?
As your future chaperone,
I will remind you
that the Cosmopolitan
museum of art is
a hallowed institution.
You are to treat it
with respect.
Hmm. You saw nothing.
You heard nothing.
Move along.
[Crashing]
What?
At last. I'm free.
[Coughing]
Do you have any idea
how stuffy it gets
inside that marble?
We got a situation
down here.
Sweet granny Moses.
Ha. Mortal fool.
You think you can
escape fury's power?
Once I find my sisters,
we shall once again
rule the earth.
I still got it.
Oh! Is that a split end?
He's cool, he's hot
like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast,
he's the chosen one ♪
People,
we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪
With his dragon power ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
A real live wire ♪
American dragon ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
His skills are
gettin' faster ♪
With grandpa,
the master ♪
His destiny
will walk up sheets ♪
It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪
American dragon ♪
I'm the magical protector
from the N.Y.C. ♪
You heard!
American dragon ♪
Afternoon, my lady.
I'm spud.
Perhaps you remember me
from a brief yet monumental
cafeteria encounter.
Ladies, observe weird boy.
I'll start. What kind
of freakish name is spud?
Totes. Was your mom, like,
some kind of potato farmer.
Well, I guess I better
go in for the save.
Uh, excuse me, girlfriend.
Nobody puts down spud
except for me.
Ok. So we'll tear you
down instead. Ladies.
Ooh, I'll start.
And do they even sell
women's clothes where
you bought those pants?
It's called being
an individual, honey,
something you
cheerleading-but-
nobody's-following clones
wouldn't know if it took
a bite out of your mass-
produced rumpshakers.
Come on, spud.
Let's rotate.
But I think I was making
real progress here.
Mommy knows,
sweetiekins.
I don't wanna
put you away either.
But we're gonna
go find our sisters.
Uh-huh. Yes, we are.
So we can take over
the world again.
Wow. I am hot.
Whatev with that tomboy.
She was all--oh!
My bad. I didn't see you.
I must have a blind spot
for horrid hats.
Are you talking to me?
Yeah. We don't dish
with freakos
in frazzy ensembles.
Insolent mortals.
Do you dare mock fury?
Do you not know who I am?
Can you tell us
what you saw?
I don't know what it was,
but it was pretty weird.
There's been an incident
at the museum.
I swear. I didn't know
that toilet was art.
I am afraid it's
something more serious.
Fu: Oh, brother.
Her name's fury.
She's one
of the 3 gorgons.
The who-gons?
Combined,
they have the power
to imprison in stone
anyone who looks at them.
And they make
the worst triple date
in the history
of magical females,
believe me.
You see,
fury and her sisters,
euryale and medusa,
forcing all
magical creatures
to do their bidding.
Until a Greek warrior
used their own reflections
where they have remained
for thousands of years.
Only now fury's
footloose and fancy free
and most likely looking
to turn the world into
living lawn ornaments.
Alone, fury's gaze would
only hypnotize her victims.
To restore
the gorgons' full powers,
she must first find
and free her 2 sisters.
Which means we got
to find them first.
Trixie: Jakey, you and spud,
you think I dress real cool.
Jake: What do we know?
We leave the girl's fashion
to the girls.
Yeah. You're one of us,
one of the guys.
Excuse me.
I'm more than that.
I, Trixie Carter,
am glam all the way.
Yeah. Let's talk later, ok?
Make it snappy.
If fury looks anything
like her sister,
I think I get
why she's so mad.
Actually, mommy always said
I was the pretty one.
Something your mama
forgot to tell you--
Nobody messes with the hair.
Jakey, watch your back.
Huh?
Whoa! Why did it
have to be snakes?
[Gasps] My baby!
Oh, sweetheart,
are you ok?
What up, fury?
That all you got?
Not even close.
Minions, attack!
Stacey? Tracy? Lacey?
That's right, dragon.
We girls do
everything together.
Dang. Those girls have
mastered the putdown
and the beatdown.
Grandfather: Fury must
have the cheerleaders
under her spell.
Fret not,
my precious pudding cup.
Spuddy will
make things all better.
The spell must have
an on/off switch
'cause we stopped
by the gym this morning
and the cheerleaders
seemed fine.
Fury has an inborn ability
to sense the location
of her sisters.
Surely, she will use
the cheerleaders again
to help retrieve her only
other sister, medusa.
And so far,
our search for medusa
has turned up zilch.
Then our only hope
is to get in tight
with the cheerleaders.
If fury summons them again,
then they could lead us
right to the statue.
Yes. If only
we knew a girl
who could go undercover
as a cheerleader,
a girl who could
track their every move.
A girl that goes
to our school.
A girl
with serious moves.
[Coughing, gasping]
Have some tea, dear.
It's good for your throat.
Why don't I go undercover
as a cheerleader?
Trixie as a cheerleader.
Thanks, trix. I think we
got it covered, though.
Behold your new mascot.
Eww. Keep dreaming, freako.
So spirited, yet so gentle.
Fury's gonna turn
the world to stone
unless we find someone--
Hey, y'all,
what's crackalatin'?
I'm here to try out
for your little cheer squad.
I--i--i--
I didn't know
Trixie had a sister.
Euryale. My sister.
You are free.
[Groaning]
Is this a new world?
At last we'll rule again.
And once we find medusa,
none shall stand
in the way of--
Oh, no. You are not
wearing my bracelet.
So you just prance in here
wearing that outfit
actually, this is
what makes me think
I can be on the team.
[Music playing]
I still can't believe
you made the team.
I don't think
I've ever seen
your kneecaps before.
They're like little smiles.
Did you see how
the cheerleaders
loved my moves?
Stacey even said
I can help the team
get into the states.
Yeah, that's, uh, great.
So have you
noticed anything out
of the ordinary yet?
But other than the fact
that Lacey's hand cream
smells like rotten peaches,
they seem like your typical,
popular, mean-girl type.
Trix, this whole
undercover thing
could take days,
you sure you
can handle it?
Handle what?
Being a girl?
Believe it. Just 'cause
I don't wanna be
a cheerleader
doesn't mean I can't.
[Giggling]
Uh--uh--uh
What up, ladies?
Cheer hug!
What, you think
you can hang with us
outside of practice, too?
Uh, totes.
Ok, let's get
something straight, wannabe.
You may be on the team,
but you are not
one of us yet.
That little routine of yours
was test number one.
So what's test number two?
Surprise
wardrobe inspection.
Your house, 20 minutes.
Uh, bring it on,
girlfriends.
[Squealing]
So, uh, welcome
to my, um
Fresh abode, ladies.
Whatever.
Let's see what you got.
[Both gasp]
Oh, my barf.
It's ok, girl.
Deep breaths.
In with the pretty,
out with the ugly.
What? These pants?
They put the "hip"
in hip hop.
Oh, sure, if you're
a rapping bricklayer
in a toolbelt
convention.
Oh. Well,
I do have these, but
[Gasps]
Trevace trendoca
originals.
Bernard de Laurent
exclusives?
Yeah. My mom,
she's an airline pilot.
She buys me
all kind of stuff
from all over the world.
It's not really
my style, but
Uh, clean-up aisle
your mouth.
Can't you see yourself
dishing about boys
in this fresh ensemble?
Hey, yeah.
I do look
kind of fresh, don't I?
So does anybody else
think Kyle Wilkins
is a snackalicious
combo platter
with extra hottie sauce?
Sss. Sizzling, girl.
He's a major
Orlando in bloom.
[Girls giggling]
Whoo! That facial was
the business, right?
I still can't believe
we didn't have to pay.
Cheerleaders never pay.
We bring in
Titanic business, ok?
People go there
'cause we go there.
Yeah. The day
I pay for facials
is the day I believe
Lacey's as good a co-captain
as me and Stacey.
Oh, totes.
Enough
with the bickering.
Ok, wannabe, you've got
the moves and the look.
Now it's time to check
your cheerleader 'tude.
The next person who comes
around that corner,
rip 'em to shreds.
What? I don't know
if I could--
Hey, trix.
You like my new look?
What are you waiting for?
Finish him already.
Well, this outfit
chafes a little
on the rumpus region, but--
You've needed help
tying your shoes
since you was 5.
Your favorite TV show
is Mr. Piggy's playhouse.
And when you belch out
brownie recipes in home ec,
people laugh at you,
not with you, ok?
So hold this all down.
1, grow up,
and 2, scram.
Beat it.
Get lost!
Nice, girl.
You really mashed
that potato.
Good work.
Trixie. Trix.
Those things you said
to spud, as he put it,
"they were extra harsh
with a side of mean beans."
What? I pretended
to be one of them.
Isn't that the plan?
Yeah, but do you have
to pretend so hard?
Here. We're miking you
for the sleepover tonight.
Miking me? For what?
Uh, to get the info
on the gorgons.
The twisted sisters who
wanna turn the world to stone.
Ring any bells?
Uh, yeah. Right. Right.
Ahem. So anyway, girl
Yo, what is all this?
The way you peeled
potato boy today
made it official.
You're one of us, girl.
Really?
Totally. You rule.
I know. Let's play
truth or dare.
Totally.
You go first, trix.
Aiight. I pick truth.
Ok, if you could kiss
any boy in the school,
who would it be?
Hmm. I guess
I'd have to pick
Spud?
No, no, no. No. No.
That's just jokes, baby.
Hold up. I got to bounce
to the ladies room real quick.
Alone.
Spud.
Trix, you ok?
We lost the audio.
We're talking about
private girl stuff in here.
Now, get out of here
before you blow my cover.
Your cover? Or your status
as one of the girls?
Look, spud, in case
you hadn't noticed,
I am a girl.
And girls don't betray
each other's secrets.
Hey, you guys, wait up!
Is it time
for the scavenger hunt?
Hey, what's going on, y'all?
Uh, something tells me
this ain't a scavenger hunt.
I think there's
some bad business
about to go down, and I--
[gasps]
Uh-oh.
Oh, look, euryale.
A guest.
Let's try
to make her welcome.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
It's quiet in there.
Hold up. Girls don't
actually sleep at sleepovers.
Both: Huh?
Grandfather: Trixie was our
one leak to the cheerleaders.
If fury has indeed
summoned them,
it may be too late.
Fu, don't you have some
kind of spell or potion
or something we
can use to find her?
Nothing that wouldn't take
at least a day or two
to whip up.
You're obsessed
with that Stacey girl, huh?
Jake: You invented
this thing to track
Stacey's every move?
Geesh. Even I'm not
this weird about girls.
According to the
geo staceytracker 3.0,
she's someone out there.
Let's pick up
the pace, ladies.
I'm missing some serious
beauty sleep here.
Trix?
Minions, seize them!
Uh uh-oh.
Whoa!
Euryale,
don't just stand there.
Help me.
But for the record,
nobody likes a bossy Becky.
At last.
Our sister.
[Groans] That rock
made my skin so dry.
Please tell me
you don't live here.
Or you could try
saying thank you.
Euryale, medusa,
take my hands.
It's time to break up
this little family reunion.
Ok, spud, it's all you.
Hey there, gorgons.
No. It can't be.
It looks like the warrior
who imprisoned us.
Now taste
your own reflections.
Um, I feel like that
could have gone better.
You, Minion, finish him.
Trix? Whoa!
Trixie?
Trixie, thanks.
What? What are you doing?
Trixie, no!
It's me. Spud!
What are you
waiting for, Minion?
Will you
finish him already?
Who do you hang out with
after school every day
watching
Mr. Piggy's playhouse?
Me. Spud.
Spudinsky.
Your friend.
Sp-spud?
Aah!
My spell.
She broke my spell.
That's right, fury.
And I'm about to break
a whole lot
of something else.
Nobody defies me.
I am fury, ruler of all.
Uh, excuse me.
We rule together.
Yeah. Who died
and made you queen?
Man, those gorgons bicker
worse than the cheer--
Hold up.
Hey, fury, didn't you say
you were more powerful
than medusa?
'Cause if you ask me,
she deserves to rule,
not you.
You said you were
more powerful?
Please. Like you could
ever rule without me.
Well, everybody
knows medusa.
But what the heck
is a fury?
And since only one
of you can really
be handling things,
why shouldn't it be her?
Well, girlfriend's
got a point.
But I am the most important
of the gorgon sisters.
Um, reality check,
sweetie.
We're just as important
as you are.
I'm the ruler.
Hello. I am.
I am.
Trix, it worked.
Both: Aah!
Like, are we
in the Hudson river?
I think we were
sleepwalking together.
So you've hung up
your cheer outfit
for good, huh?
Yeah. Turns out
being one of the girls
wasn't all that
after all.
Ditto with
my Spartacus uniform.
The whole thing
just reeks of desperation.
Desperation and b.O.
Thanks for hanging
with me, guys.
Especially after I kind
of acted brand-new.
Plus you kind of saved
our lives in a majorly
dramatic fashion.
From now on, me and spud
are gonna be there for you,
even to talk
about the girl stuff.
Ooh! Oh, look.
Isn't he Kyle Wilkins
Spread on fine
like cheese and
Uh, save it
for the ladies, jakey.
If you could be
brought back
from the dark side,
maybe there's hope
for my precious Stacey, too.
Oh, excuse me. I--
Eww. It touched me.
Again!
Aah!
Oh, yeah. She digs me.
Hello, mother.
It's your favorite son.
You know. Hans.
Anyway, listen.
I'm in jail again.
But not for mistaking
a student for a dragon
and locking him
in the back of the truck
like last time.
No. I knocked over
a priceless statue
at the Cosmopolitan
museum of art.
Anyway, I need you to wire me
the bail money quickly.
[Panting] My cellmate
calls himself "beef"
and takes much pleasure
in showing me his many tattoos.
Auf wiedersehen.
[Beep]