Axe Cop (2013) s02e01 Episode Script
Night Mission: The Moon
What the heck? No! No! One day, at the scene of the fire, the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day he became Axe Cop! _ So he had tryouts and hired a partner.
_ _ I will chop your heads off! Here comes the giant dinosaur with food for the little baby.
Mmm.
- What was that? - I better take a look.
Here, take your flute.
Axe Cop, what are you doing here? - You're making a mess! - The head trash at the station was full.
Axe Cop, come in.
- This is the chief of the normal police.
- What? There's a Vampire Man baby kid terrorizing the city.
Sounds good.
Okay, bye.
See you later, Flute Cop.
I have to go on an important night mission.
Hey, Axe Cop, maybe I can tag along on this one? What do you say? Fine, just this once.
Let's go! Wexter! All right, my first night mission! Anita, can you run Uni-Baby a bath? I'll be home in a couple of hours! Vampire Man baby kid is moving North on Columbus through the Crosstown Bridge, making his way past the museum and, uh Wait, I lost him somehow.
- Fly home! - Who was that? It was Axe Cop and Flute Cop! We saved you and you're welcome! What are you doing? On night missions, - you have to stay in the shadows.
- Oh, right.
Yes, sorry.
Like this? Can you see me? Hold him still, Flute Cop.
- I'll chop your head - No, Axe Cop, wait.
- Don't chop his head off! - What? On night missions, I always chop off bad guys' heads.
Get with the program, Flute Cop! But he's not trying to bite my neck.
- He's trying to tell me a secret.
- A secret? Vampire Man baby kid is saying that he used to be a normal happy baby who lived with his parents inside of the Moon.
Don't you mean on the Moon? Nope.
He's saying inside the Moon.
Good morning, sweetie.
Say hi to daddy.
His father was a vampire.
His job was to protect the dial that controls the phases of the Moon.
Protect it from who? From the moon people, who are normally very weak.
But if the dial was ever stuck on a super Moon, they would all turn into super werewolves and attack Earth.
They were a perfect happy family until one day his parents got into a fight.
- What was their fight about? - He says he doesn't know.
I mean, he's just a baby.
He doesn't pick up on nuances.
So his father got so mad, he tried to bite his mother.
And then this little peanut right here jumped in the way to save her and was bitten by accident.
Go get help, Vampire Man baby kid! - Axe Cop, we need to go to the Moon.
- Not a chance! I don't help babies, especially on night missions! I should never have brought you along, Flute Cop.
But you did, buddy, and I love babies, you know that.
I vote we help the little guy save his mom from his evil vampire father.
What do you say? Hmm, I always have wanted to kill an evil vampire.
- Now we're talking! - But if we're going to fight on the Moon, we're going to need upgrades.
All right! Where do you get upgrades? - The weapons store.
- Great, where is it? The woods.
- Oh, no one's here.
- Wrong.
Hyah! - What the heck? - You are Bear Cop now.
Oh great.
What's your upgrade? I don't need one.
I'm already perfect.
Now go try out your moves on those evil lumberjacks.
What? What evil lumberjacks? Whoa! Oh! Huh? You are now Spider Bear Cop! Finish them! Yeah, that's right.
Now it's time to go kill an evil vampire.
- And save this baby's mom! - Wexter! All right, Wexter got us on the Moon, now use your spider leg bear claws - to get us in the Moon.
- Not a problem with these puppies.
Let me just dig in.
Oh no, moon people.
We don't have to worry about them.
The Moon's not a super moon, so they're weak.
Look! That must be the tower where Vampire Man baby kid's mom is being held prisoner.
Now let's go kill an evil vampire, Spider Bear Cop! Please let me out of this cage.
Never! You lied to me! Set her free, evil vampire! We can do this the hard way or the sharp way.
My baby! I knew you'd come back for me.
- Now kill your father! - No, that's my job.
No, she's the bad guy, not me.
He's crazy! Don't listen to him! I saved you! - Mama! - No no no no no, not now.
Mommy's got something she's been waiting a long time to do.
Don't let her touch that moon dial! She's gonna use it to attack Earth! - That's right! - Wait.
What? I only married this vampire to get close enough to his moon dial.
Every second of the day, he never stopped working, but one night around dinner time I had my chance.
Honey, can you get that? I'm in the middle of changing our baby.
It's just a couple of seconds.
What could happen? There was no one there.
What the heck? Wha What are you doing? You're a moon person.
Our whole life has been a lie! You just wanted to touch that moon dial! Please don't bite me! And that's when he accidentally bit our son and turned him into this disgusting thing.
- Mama.
- But you didn't understand.
You thought I was the good guy, because you're just a baby, and babies are dumb.
Well, she's right about that.
And now all my moon people will be able to change into their true form super werewolves.
Now me and my super werewolf brothers and sisters are going to attack Earth.
The dial it's broken.
I can't turn it back.
- What are we gonna do? - There is only one way to stop the super werewolves from destroying Earth.
We have to blow up the Moon.
But how? There aren't any bombs on the Moon.
The Moon has a self-destruct button.
That's super convenient.
Where is it? - Inside of me.
- But if we activate it, - you'll die along with the Moon.
- Father! It's our only option.
I knew this day would come, because why else would there be a button inside me to blow up the Moon? This is my destiny.
Goodbye, son.
I love you.
It is time, Axe Cop.
The only way to activate the self-destruct button inside of me is to karate kick me - in the chest really hard.
- Okay.
Hyah! Don't worry, Vampire Man baby kid.
I will adopt you and I will raise you as my own.
The Moon will self-destruct in 10, nine, eight We're done here.
two, one.
Wexter! What the heck?! Oh no! Whoo! Not too shabby for my first night mission, huh? I'm proud of myself.
Oh hey, there's my house.
Can you just drop us off right there? My pleasure.
And so we are one big happy family Of a bunch of people who are not blood relatives We just happen to be living under the same roof.
Dada!
That was the day he became Axe Cop! _ So he had tryouts and hired a partner.
_ _ I will chop your heads off! Here comes the giant dinosaur with food for the little baby.
Mmm.
- What was that? - I better take a look.
Here, take your flute.
Axe Cop, what are you doing here? - You're making a mess! - The head trash at the station was full.
Axe Cop, come in.
- This is the chief of the normal police.
- What? There's a Vampire Man baby kid terrorizing the city.
Sounds good.
Okay, bye.
See you later, Flute Cop.
I have to go on an important night mission.
Hey, Axe Cop, maybe I can tag along on this one? What do you say? Fine, just this once.
Let's go! Wexter! All right, my first night mission! Anita, can you run Uni-Baby a bath? I'll be home in a couple of hours! Vampire Man baby kid is moving North on Columbus through the Crosstown Bridge, making his way past the museum and, uh Wait, I lost him somehow.
- Fly home! - Who was that? It was Axe Cop and Flute Cop! We saved you and you're welcome! What are you doing? On night missions, - you have to stay in the shadows.
- Oh, right.
Yes, sorry.
Like this? Can you see me? Hold him still, Flute Cop.
- I'll chop your head - No, Axe Cop, wait.
- Don't chop his head off! - What? On night missions, I always chop off bad guys' heads.
Get with the program, Flute Cop! But he's not trying to bite my neck.
- He's trying to tell me a secret.
- A secret? Vampire Man baby kid is saying that he used to be a normal happy baby who lived with his parents inside of the Moon.
Don't you mean on the Moon? Nope.
He's saying inside the Moon.
Good morning, sweetie.
Say hi to daddy.
His father was a vampire.
His job was to protect the dial that controls the phases of the Moon.
Protect it from who? From the moon people, who are normally very weak.
But if the dial was ever stuck on a super Moon, they would all turn into super werewolves and attack Earth.
They were a perfect happy family until one day his parents got into a fight.
- What was their fight about? - He says he doesn't know.
I mean, he's just a baby.
He doesn't pick up on nuances.
So his father got so mad, he tried to bite his mother.
And then this little peanut right here jumped in the way to save her and was bitten by accident.
Go get help, Vampire Man baby kid! - Axe Cop, we need to go to the Moon.
- Not a chance! I don't help babies, especially on night missions! I should never have brought you along, Flute Cop.
But you did, buddy, and I love babies, you know that.
I vote we help the little guy save his mom from his evil vampire father.
What do you say? Hmm, I always have wanted to kill an evil vampire.
- Now we're talking! - But if we're going to fight on the Moon, we're going to need upgrades.
All right! Where do you get upgrades? - The weapons store.
- Great, where is it? The woods.
- Oh, no one's here.
- Wrong.
Hyah! - What the heck? - You are Bear Cop now.
Oh great.
What's your upgrade? I don't need one.
I'm already perfect.
Now go try out your moves on those evil lumberjacks.
What? What evil lumberjacks? Whoa! Oh! Huh? You are now Spider Bear Cop! Finish them! Yeah, that's right.
Now it's time to go kill an evil vampire.
- And save this baby's mom! - Wexter! All right, Wexter got us on the Moon, now use your spider leg bear claws - to get us in the Moon.
- Not a problem with these puppies.
Let me just dig in.
Oh no, moon people.
We don't have to worry about them.
The Moon's not a super moon, so they're weak.
Look! That must be the tower where Vampire Man baby kid's mom is being held prisoner.
Now let's go kill an evil vampire, Spider Bear Cop! Please let me out of this cage.
Never! You lied to me! Set her free, evil vampire! We can do this the hard way or the sharp way.
My baby! I knew you'd come back for me.
- Now kill your father! - No, that's my job.
No, she's the bad guy, not me.
He's crazy! Don't listen to him! I saved you! - Mama! - No no no no no, not now.
Mommy's got something she's been waiting a long time to do.
Don't let her touch that moon dial! She's gonna use it to attack Earth! - That's right! - Wait.
What? I only married this vampire to get close enough to his moon dial.
Every second of the day, he never stopped working, but one night around dinner time I had my chance.
Honey, can you get that? I'm in the middle of changing our baby.
It's just a couple of seconds.
What could happen? There was no one there.
What the heck? Wha What are you doing? You're a moon person.
Our whole life has been a lie! You just wanted to touch that moon dial! Please don't bite me! And that's when he accidentally bit our son and turned him into this disgusting thing.
- Mama.
- But you didn't understand.
You thought I was the good guy, because you're just a baby, and babies are dumb.
Well, she's right about that.
And now all my moon people will be able to change into their true form super werewolves.
Now me and my super werewolf brothers and sisters are going to attack Earth.
The dial it's broken.
I can't turn it back.
- What are we gonna do? - There is only one way to stop the super werewolves from destroying Earth.
We have to blow up the Moon.
But how? There aren't any bombs on the Moon.
The Moon has a self-destruct button.
That's super convenient.
Where is it? - Inside of me.
- But if we activate it, - you'll die along with the Moon.
- Father! It's our only option.
I knew this day would come, because why else would there be a button inside me to blow up the Moon? This is my destiny.
Goodbye, son.
I love you.
It is time, Axe Cop.
The only way to activate the self-destruct button inside of me is to karate kick me - in the chest really hard.
- Okay.
Hyah! Don't worry, Vampire Man baby kid.
I will adopt you and I will raise you as my own.
The Moon will self-destruct in 10, nine, eight We're done here.
two, one.
Wexter! What the heck?! Oh no! Whoo! Not too shabby for my first night mission, huh? I'm proud of myself.
Oh hey, there's my house.
Can you just drop us off right there? My pleasure.
And so we are one big happy family Of a bunch of people who are not blood relatives We just happen to be living under the same roof.
Dada!