Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008) s02e01 Episode Script
Death Race to Oblivion!
Oh, grow up.
The Star of Bialya.
Now, that will buy a lot of chemistry sets.
Sorry, Desmond.
I'm giving you detention.
Where's my mommy? The scary man is hurting me.
Leave that boy alone.
What are you doing to him? You may have fooled these citizens, Desmond, but I've had my eye on you since you pilfered those chemicals from S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs.
Those chemicals will give me the brawn to match my brain.
And what better time than now to finally test them out.
No, Desmond! You don't know the side effects.
Now Blockbuster is strongest.
And Blockbuster no like Bathead.
Ooh, pretty sparkly rock.
Me crush you.
Leave him alone, you big bully.
Huh? Puny Billy Batson? Any last words, kid? Just one.
Shazam.
Huh? Where kid go? Hmm.
I'll look into that.
Right after I do this.
- Nice work, Captain Marvel.
- You too, Batman.
I've always wanted to work wi Holy moly, the triceratops.
Sorry, Batman, I don't wanna miss the dinosaurs.
Now that the course is complete and the racers have arrived let the games begin.
So says Mongul! Oh, you wanna play games? Stand down, Guy.
I can order Warmoon to obliterate the Earth with a thought.
Then welcome to Death Race.
One hundred treacherous miles across this desert.
The rules are simple.
If my champion Steppenwolf wins then Warmoon will destroy the entire planet.
Otherwise, the winner becomes ruler of Earth to play with as he, or she, sees fit.
Imagine what fun that would be.
Anyone knocked out of the race will be teleported directly to Warmoon where they can watch the end of the competition from a holding cell and await execution.
There are no other rules.
What if we don't wanna play? Ah, that is your prerogative.
But I will instantly destroy the home city of anyone who refuses to race.
No quitters? Ah, splendid.
Now, prepare your vehicles.
Ah! Unh.
So, what's the plan, Bats? My plan is to win.
Losing would mean Gotham falls.
Not on my watch.
Hey, look, I feel the same way about Star City, but But nothing.
I'm winning this race.
The same way I won in Monte Carlo last year.
Oh, please.
You only won in Monte Carlo because I let you win.
There's only one way to prove that, isn't there? Now, now.
Save your anger for the race.
See you at the finish line.
So this is how it's gonna be? And I used to think you were hot.
On your marks.
Get set.
And we're off! Well, I'm always a little off, but you get the idea.
Whoa! Ooh, Plastic Man stretches into an early lead.
But Steppenwolf's war machine is hot on his tail.
Plas! Plas, wake up! We're gonna hit, and one of us don't bounce.
Huh? Aah! Ahh! - Huh? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Hey there, sports fans.
Looks like Catwoman's trying to thin the competition too.
Batman, we can't just let her No one's stopping you from saving her.
Hey there, pretty cat lady.
Uh-oh.
Looks like Manta is making a crab for the lead.
Batman doesn't have a ghost of a chance.
End of the road, Batsy! Sorry, Manta, but he who smelt it, dealt it.
No! This is a land race, Batman.
I should disqualify you.
Permanently.
No other rules, remember? Ah, Batman, you are diverting.
Better entertain me, Steppenwolf or I may have found a new champion.
Step aside, Wolfie, I'm making my move.
Heh, nice try, but nothing a little willpower can't fix.
That Green Gardner fellow is aces.
But superheroing takes an awful lot of concentration.
Sure hope nothing distracts him.
Clowns! Whoa! Huh? Aah! That tears it.
Batman is ruthless.
I may actually be on the verge of rooting for him.
You okay, Mr.
Gardner? Uh, shut it, snoozy.
I'm getting us out of here.
- My ring.
- Uh, Guy? Earth's doomed.
What's gotten into you, Bats? You nearly hit Guy.
- I know he's a jerk, but - You still don't get it, Arrow.
No! When it comes to protecting Gotham, I have no friends.
Fire-retardant foam arrows.
Never leave home without them.
You are fast, archer.
But are you faster than the speed of thought? Huh? Really sorry about Batman, Mr.
Arrow.
Yeah, he's the last guy I would've thunk would crack under pressure, but Forget Bats.
We have work to do.
Four racers remain.
So why is everyone picking on poor little me? Perhaps, this will help lighten them up a bit? If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, Joker.
Best Death Race ever! But? But? What about Miss Huntress? There.
Come on, come on, leap clear.
She She didn't make it.
No time to mourn now.
Too bad.
She was quite fetching.
Still, what's a Death Race without a little death? This doohickey generates an electro-magnetic pulse that'll carve a hole in the cell's force field, but only for a split second.
- Just enough time get one arrow through.
- But you don't have any arrows.
Now, Mr.
Arrow? - Now! - Now! Totally worth it.
Thanks, Guy.
Now hustle.
We don't have much time.
Move it, team.
Yoohoo! Hero-boys.
Forget someone? No! That's it, Batman.
Just hold still a second longer.
Okay, this is Warmoon's energy core.
Think we can do some damage? Oh, yeah.
That was fun.
Let's do it again.
Bravo, and brava.
You ran a magnificent race.
Ruthless and cunning.
All that I could have asked.
And you certainly humiliated my champion.
My ex-champion, that is.
Unfortunately, I really have no use for a troublesome hero-laden world such as Earth.
So I'm still gonna blow it up.
But you promised.
Word to the wise: Never trust someone who has a Warmoon.
Actually, I didn't.
My My Warmoon! Go on, Mongul, you know you wanna say it.
"Curses, foiled again.
" Very clever, humans.
Just for that, I will destroy all of you before I go! Wrong again, Mongul.
The only place you're going is a small cell on Oa.
Heh, one punch.
What a mook.
Wait, you mean you and Bats never raced in Monte Carlo? Well, we did bust the Clock King there.
Batman kept the bad guy busy while I destroyed his Tick Tock Terror.
So when Batman confronted you before the race? He was tipping me off to the plan.
And you were in on it too? Maybe.
So who wants to go out for pizza? My treat.
The Star of Bialya.
Now, that will buy a lot of chemistry sets.
Sorry, Desmond.
I'm giving you detention.
Where's my mommy? The scary man is hurting me.
Leave that boy alone.
What are you doing to him? You may have fooled these citizens, Desmond, but I've had my eye on you since you pilfered those chemicals from S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs.
Those chemicals will give me the brawn to match my brain.
And what better time than now to finally test them out.
No, Desmond! You don't know the side effects.
Now Blockbuster is strongest.
And Blockbuster no like Bathead.
Ooh, pretty sparkly rock.
Me crush you.
Leave him alone, you big bully.
Huh? Puny Billy Batson? Any last words, kid? Just one.
Shazam.
Huh? Where kid go? Hmm.
I'll look into that.
Right after I do this.
- Nice work, Captain Marvel.
- You too, Batman.
I've always wanted to work wi Holy moly, the triceratops.
Sorry, Batman, I don't wanna miss the dinosaurs.
Now that the course is complete and the racers have arrived let the games begin.
So says Mongul! Oh, you wanna play games? Stand down, Guy.
I can order Warmoon to obliterate the Earth with a thought.
Then welcome to Death Race.
One hundred treacherous miles across this desert.
The rules are simple.
If my champion Steppenwolf wins then Warmoon will destroy the entire planet.
Otherwise, the winner becomes ruler of Earth to play with as he, or she, sees fit.
Imagine what fun that would be.
Anyone knocked out of the race will be teleported directly to Warmoon where they can watch the end of the competition from a holding cell and await execution.
There are no other rules.
What if we don't wanna play? Ah, that is your prerogative.
But I will instantly destroy the home city of anyone who refuses to race.
No quitters? Ah, splendid.
Now, prepare your vehicles.
Ah! Unh.
So, what's the plan, Bats? My plan is to win.
Losing would mean Gotham falls.
Not on my watch.
Hey, look, I feel the same way about Star City, but But nothing.
I'm winning this race.
The same way I won in Monte Carlo last year.
Oh, please.
You only won in Monte Carlo because I let you win.
There's only one way to prove that, isn't there? Now, now.
Save your anger for the race.
See you at the finish line.
So this is how it's gonna be? And I used to think you were hot.
On your marks.
Get set.
And we're off! Well, I'm always a little off, but you get the idea.
Whoa! Ooh, Plastic Man stretches into an early lead.
But Steppenwolf's war machine is hot on his tail.
Plas! Plas, wake up! We're gonna hit, and one of us don't bounce.
Huh? Aah! Ahh! - Huh? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Hey there, sports fans.
Looks like Catwoman's trying to thin the competition too.
Batman, we can't just let her No one's stopping you from saving her.
Hey there, pretty cat lady.
Uh-oh.
Looks like Manta is making a crab for the lead.
Batman doesn't have a ghost of a chance.
End of the road, Batsy! Sorry, Manta, but he who smelt it, dealt it.
No! This is a land race, Batman.
I should disqualify you.
Permanently.
No other rules, remember? Ah, Batman, you are diverting.
Better entertain me, Steppenwolf or I may have found a new champion.
Step aside, Wolfie, I'm making my move.
Heh, nice try, but nothing a little willpower can't fix.
That Green Gardner fellow is aces.
But superheroing takes an awful lot of concentration.
Sure hope nothing distracts him.
Clowns! Whoa! Huh? Aah! That tears it.
Batman is ruthless.
I may actually be on the verge of rooting for him.
You okay, Mr.
Gardner? Uh, shut it, snoozy.
I'm getting us out of here.
- My ring.
- Uh, Guy? Earth's doomed.
What's gotten into you, Bats? You nearly hit Guy.
- I know he's a jerk, but - You still don't get it, Arrow.
No! When it comes to protecting Gotham, I have no friends.
Fire-retardant foam arrows.
Never leave home without them.
You are fast, archer.
But are you faster than the speed of thought? Huh? Really sorry about Batman, Mr.
Arrow.
Yeah, he's the last guy I would've thunk would crack under pressure, but Forget Bats.
We have work to do.
Four racers remain.
So why is everyone picking on poor little me? Perhaps, this will help lighten them up a bit? If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, Joker.
Best Death Race ever! But? But? What about Miss Huntress? There.
Come on, come on, leap clear.
She She didn't make it.
No time to mourn now.
Too bad.
She was quite fetching.
Still, what's a Death Race without a little death? This doohickey generates an electro-magnetic pulse that'll carve a hole in the cell's force field, but only for a split second.
- Just enough time get one arrow through.
- But you don't have any arrows.
Now, Mr.
Arrow? - Now! - Now! Totally worth it.
Thanks, Guy.
Now hustle.
We don't have much time.
Move it, team.
Yoohoo! Hero-boys.
Forget someone? No! That's it, Batman.
Just hold still a second longer.
Okay, this is Warmoon's energy core.
Think we can do some damage? Oh, yeah.
That was fun.
Let's do it again.
Bravo, and brava.
You ran a magnificent race.
Ruthless and cunning.
All that I could have asked.
And you certainly humiliated my champion.
My ex-champion, that is.
Unfortunately, I really have no use for a troublesome hero-laden world such as Earth.
So I'm still gonna blow it up.
But you promised.
Word to the wise: Never trust someone who has a Warmoon.
Actually, I didn't.
My My Warmoon! Go on, Mongul, you know you wanna say it.
"Curses, foiled again.
" Very clever, humans.
Just for that, I will destroy all of you before I go! Wrong again, Mongul.
The only place you're going is a small cell on Oa.
Heh, one punch.
What a mook.
Wait, you mean you and Bats never raced in Monte Carlo? Well, we did bust the Clock King there.
Batman kept the bad guy busy while I destroyed his Tick Tock Terror.
So when Batman confronted you before the race? He was tipping me off to the plan.
And you were in on it too? Maybe.
So who wants to go out for pizza? My treat.