Better Late Than Never (2016) s02e01 Episode Script
Munich
1 [BIRD SCREECHES.]
MALE NARRATOR: Last season, four living legends took a trip of a lifetime.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
NARRATOR: They experienced everything Asia had to offer.
Pork vagina.
- Are you getting in here? - Why do I think of peaches? [ROUSING UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[CHEERING.]
NARRATOR: And ended up the best of friends.
Best people in the world.
NARRATOR: This time they're taking a European adventure unlike anything you've ever seen before.
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[RECORD SCRATCHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
NARRATOR: They're back [LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM'S "HOLIDAY ROAD".]
- [SNAKE HISSES.]
- Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.
NARRATOR: As the guys - [ALL CHEERING.]
- We're gonna get arrested.
- NARRATOR: Saddle up again - Okay.
NARRATOR: To visit the old country Come on, boys.
NARRATOR: Connect with their ancestors, [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
NARRATOR: And have a European adventure that's gonna change their lives What a journey.
NARRATOR: And blow their minds.
[EXPLOSION.]
- The adventure begins.
- I'm ready.
[BATTLE CRY.]
Holiday road - NARRATOR: Starring - Ow-ow-ow! NARRATOR: TV superstar Henry Winkler How do I stop this? NARRATOR: Cultural icon I don't know what I'm doing.
NARRATOR: William Shatner.
NFL hall-of-famer I love this country! NARRATOR: Terry Bradshaw.
These guys are driving me crazy.
NARRATOR: Former heavyweight champion George Foreman.
- [ROARS.]
- NARRATOR: And Jeffrey.
Jeffrey.
Jeffrey! NARRATOR: Jeff Dye as The Sidekick.
I don't want to die a virgin.
Whoo! NARRATOR: Just when you thought it was safe to go back on vacation [SINGING GIBBERISH.]
Just a good, old-fashioned, family European holiday! NARRATOR: "Better Late Than Never.
" I love mooching! - [EXPLOSION.]
- [BIRD SCREECHES.]
[ENGINE ROARS.]
- Where is Bill? - I don't know where Bill is.
Don't we have to be here three hours before it takes off internationally? Actually, there he is.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Hey, superstar, really? - Are you going like that? - Yeah.
I am a fashion statement, my friend.
Check it out.
Look at this.
Look, I'm embarrassed.
Look at all these people looking at us.
You know, you remember George? Is your memory still good? After he hit me.
Did you just say, "Is your memory still good?" Yeah.
- We're gonna be late.
- Where's our first stop? - Germany, Munich.
- Perfect.
It's game time [FLO RIDA'S "GAME TIME".]
We're back.
- We're back.
- We're back.
What an adventure.
Five friends out to see the world again.
We survived Asia.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
Hello, Hong Kong! This time It's game time We're going to Europe.
Auf wiedersehen.
It's game time Because let's face it, anywhere else is too hot for Terry.
I already like it better than Asia.
I'm not sweating.
[EPIC CHOIR MUSIC.]
- Who's got the car? - Where we who's got the car? I got you guys.
We're riding in style.
Last trip I was supposed to be in charge of all the logistics, and I didn't do it well.
You guys ready? But this time I actually have a plan.
, It's right here.
How great is this? - That's it? - That's not a car.
- It's a home.
- It's called an RV.
You can even go to the bathroom in it so we don't got to stop or nothing.
This is crazy.
[LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM'S "HOLIDAY ROAD".]
It's bigger than my apartment.
- Ow.
- I'm not a fan.
Remembering what happened in the past, why have we got Jeff doing the same thing? Because I forgot about the past.
Oh.
Short-term memory goes.
It's true.
You get older, it just disappears.
Just a good, old-fashioned, family European holiday! Holiday road Whoo! Jeff, what are you doing? Hey, we're American! How about that we're doing this again? Let's just do three cheers that we're all together again.
- Oh, my gosh.
- After two years.
One, two, three.
- Whoo, yodel-ay-he-hoo! - Hey! All right! - Yeah! - Whoo-hoo! Traveling with these four guys and getting out and seeing the world.
Hey, look at all how beautiful this is, guys.
I'm telling you, it just doesn't get any better than this.
What are we gonna do in Munich? I think we should all get some lederhosen.
Oh, come on.
So we can be we can feel.
That's what you always say.
When you're in the culture, you've got to be part of the culture.
- Henry, that's pretty good.
- You mock me, sir.
I'm not wearing no leather shorts.
[TRAFFIC BLARES.]
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[GERMAN HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
- Get out.
- Don't let the animals out.
- Well, here we are, - Showing you the town.
Wow, look at this town, guys.
I mean, what part of town is this? This ta This is the center of Munich.
Let's try to read all the signs.
"Vinzinmer.
" "Vinbinmer.
" I don't understand these names over here, hard to pronounce.
[GIBBERISH.]
"Vinbinmer.
" Wow, look at this old thing coming up here.
No, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Isn't this the glockenspiel? George, this is the biggest cuckoo clock in the world.
Wow! This gawkenschmeel glackensm this glockenschmeel glockenschmeel gawkens well, whatever it is, it's a big cuckoo clock.
- Where'd Henry go? - Nice to see you.
- Look at Henry.
- Hi, my name is Henry.
Here we are, right back to where we left off.
How do I look? Awesome.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
Hi.
How are you? Henry's walking around signing autographs, taking photos with strangers.
My name is Henry.
Nice to see you.
And Bill runs from all of his fans and doesn't want to talk to any of them.
Actually, I don't take pictures.
Did you just have trouble with Bill? Yeah, he wouldn't let me.
Yeah, he's a little he's a little rascal.
I want to embrace the culture of Germany and absorb it as much as possible.
I don't want to be signing autographs and taking pictures.
Get closer to me.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
Hey.
Henry loves that.
I hate it.
Jeff Dye.
Jeff, oh, my God, they recognized you.
- No, they didn't recognize me.
- No, they did.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
BOTH: Oh, my gosh.
- What's her name? - Her name is Esther Hilton.
Oh, she's gonna regret saying that.
Well, good! Yeah, who needs her? Oh, my God, that is the worst thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let's go.
Have you signed everybody's autograph, guys? - No.
- Oh, no! - Oh, my God, look at this.
- Look at this guy.
okay.
Ein minute.
Okay, these pants, where do you get them? We're here to dive into the culture of every place we go.
There's a lederhosen store just right down that corner.
Okay, we're getting these.
When in Munich, when in Germany.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I'm I'm thinking we ought to be in Italy.
[ROUSING MUSIC.]
- [RECORD SCRATCH.]
- [BABY CRIES.]
Check this out.
- Oh, oh.
- Holy cow.
- Hi, how are you? - Fine, thanks.
Evidently Daniel is the king of all lederhosen.
Oh, my goodness.
I pictured a little something else for the king of all lederhosens.
Look at the pants here.
- Leather pants.
- I don't know about all this.
I'd like to get a pair of those britches.
- Lederhosen.
- Come on.
You want to try the leather trouser? Let's go.
[SULTRY POP MUSIC.]
Ooh, beautiful.
You go inside like American.
You come outside like a Bavarian.
Daniel, I cannot figure this thing out.
- Oh, come on.
Come on.
- Let me dance a little.
- [LAUGHS.]
- You know, I feel ridiculous.
Tada! How do I look, my friend? Now I got to yodel.
[IMITATES YODELING.]
- Ow.
- Oh! - You're a man now.
- [STAMMERS.]
- I have some special for you.
- Yeah? - No.
- Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
I feel like a real boy.
If I didn't know better, I'd think you're flirting.
Now you're ready for Oktoberfest.
I'm ready here I go.
- [SLAP.]
- Oh! This is the key That makes us wind up When the beat comes on The girls all line up I wish I was wearing my jockeys.
- You didn't wear any underwear? - No.
- Beers it is.
- To the beer hall.
I'm in, and I don't even drink.
Let's go.
When in Rome, you guessed it, do like the Romans.
When in Munich, do like the Munichs.
Oktoberfest, check me out.
[ROUSING UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[CHEERING.]
- Oh, yes.
- Oh.
Aw, yeah! This is what I'm talking about.
[UPBEAT BRASS MUSIC.]
Just the German I need.
[CHEERING.]
- Hello, everybody.
- Hey! It's so joyful in here.
People are drinking.
People are having a good time.
[IMITATES TROMBONE.]
Hey! - I don't want to be here.
- Oh, come on.
- George, come on.
- No.
I don't drink.
I don't even want to be around beer.
I'm out.
'Cause people get crazy, and I don't know what these guys are gonna do.
[MUMBLING.]
- That's good.
- Henry, come sit down before we fall down.
There you go.
I am so excited to be here, and you know I don't drink, so You why do you why do you keep saying that? Because I don't drink.
I got two words for you, Henry.
- What? - Sake in Kyoto.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Yeah! [CHEERING.]
A couple of sips, not gonna hurt.
Ah, that German beer.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
- Hey! - Jeffrey! - Munich! - Munich! Bill's 86 years old.
I mean, any minute, people, he could be out of here.
Let's have some fun! [P! NK'S "RAISE YOUR GLASS".]
So raise your glass if you are wrong - Oktoberfest! - I love my boy here.
All my underdogs We will never be never be anything but loud And nitty gritty Have a little more.
What do you say? - Yes, sir.
- I love Germany! I love beer! All the right ways All my underdogs We will never be never be But you don't really drink? I don't really drink.
But really, Henry, you do drink.
But I know my limit.
Won't you come on come on And raise your glass [LAUGHING.]
Raise your glass My friend Terry, you never see him lose control.
Just come on and come on and Raise your glass for me I learned an important lesson today.
Don't drink and FaceTime.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- [PHONE BEEPING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SHOUTS.]
Okay, Stace, I love you, and - Oh, and I love you too.
- Yeah.
- 'Kay? - And I love you.
- Mwuah.
- Bye.
So raise your glass if you are wrong I love Muenchen! [CHEERING.]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING.]
[MOANING.]
I don't feel good.
Oh, my God.
I love this country.
Here we go again.
- The autobahn.
- Whoo! - Let me out.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [VOMITS.]
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
[WAILS.]
The hills are alive, and so is Bill! [BIRD SCREECHES.]
For now.
[LAUGHS.]
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[MOANING.]
I don't feel good.
[TAIO CRUZ'S "HANGOVER".]
I love Muenchen! - Are we in Heaven? - No, you're not in Heaven.
It's Germany.
I got a hangover I been drinking too much I got a - How many beers did you have? - I had two.
They don't feel good.
Hangover hospitals, you got to see this place.
If you don't feel good, this is where you come when you've had too much to drink.
I am investing my money into hangover hospitals.
It's gonna be the hottest thing going.
I can't believe we're gonna beat Bill to Heaven.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
That is so funny.
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
You're gonna miss the train.
No, I'm not.
I'm coming.
- Come on.
- I'm coming.
Whoo, I am getting nauseous.
Yesterday was exhausting.
Between the long drive, the jet lag, and Oktoberfest, we're all feeling a little under the weather.
He's getting sick already.
Getting getting a little nauseous.
Oh, is that true? - Nauseous? - Yeah, a little.
So today we're just gonna kind of lay low and just kind of sit back and enjoy the ride.
I missed you guys.
- Here's the amazing thing - Wow.
We haven't seen each other in two years, and it's like we saw each other yesterday.
- Yeah, I know.
- I love it.
Isn't it fantastic? We're all together.
We're friends.
We are all the same But, you know, we're not all the same because you give an autograph.
- And you won't.
- There's quite a difference.
That's true.
That is true.
I give.
You don't.
- Well - I'm a giver.
Wait, listen, you guys, you were in the square.
All you did was take pictures with other people, signing autographs and Now, let me ask you a question.
Okay, why do you think people come up and say, "Hey, I'd like to take a picture with you?" - Why? I don't know.
- They love your work.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you why.
Of course you're gonna tell me why.
[LAUGHTER.]
Because they like what you do.
Now they come and they say, "I've watched you for ten years, "and I'm so happy to see you.
I would like a memory.
" And you deny them of that memory? Bill? Yes, he does.
[LAUGHTER.]
- You hug them, and you - I do.
And you give them love, and there's all kinds of dreadful diseases going around.
- No.
- And you put yourself in the in harm's way that way.
No, no, no.
One year everybody was saying, "George, can I take a photograph?" Then ten years later, "George, can you stand and take a photograph for my dad?" 30 years later, "George, for my grandfather, can you take a photograph?" The transformation, I don't like the grandfather.
I don't like the grandfather either.
Have you ever signed an autograph, and he says, "Hey, I got your autograph 12 years ago, but I can't find it.
" - Happens all the time.
- You sign it sign it again.
You're going, like All of the time.
It's never happened to me because - People don't talk to you.
- When I sign an autograph, it becomes of value.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Oh, boy.
- You guys are right.
We're back.
It's just like last year.
God.
We're here! Hey! Here we are.
Look at how beautiful this is.
This is a really lovely city.
[ROUSING UPBEAT MUSIC.]
God, look at this park.
I think we should go this way.
- Here? - Yeah.
The only time I'll go on a man picnic is with these guys, but what the hell? Well, this is nice.
I like this.
What do you guys want to see while we're here? Lots of old buildings.
Well, that I can find easy.
I want to see nice cars.
- Lots of churches.
- That's what I like to visit.
What about naked women? - I don't know about that.
- Hello.
[DRAMATIC STING.]
Holy mackerel.
Look at this guy.
Did you know that this park had naked people in it? 100%.
I'm a little speechless.
The people that want to be naked are never people you'd think would want to be naked.
I got to tell you guys, I love this country! - Oh, geez.
- Oh, my God.
Here we go again.
Who let all that out? Ugh.
Ugh.
Woof, woof.
[DOG YELPS.]
George, you want to play Frisbee with me? I knew Terry was gonna get naked.
Why I brought my terry cloth.
I don't want to see it.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Oh, that's genius.
Bill, you're the one that always said embrace the culture.
I'm not going to embrace that culture.
- Oh.
- I'll tell you that.
No, don't come too close to me.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'll do anything to make Shatner uncomfortable.
I got to stretch.
Oh, no, don't do that.
Terry, your wife's gonna have a difficult time finding a nursing home for you.
[LAUGHING.]
Hey, how you doing! I'm from America.
[LAUGHS.]
[HOWLS.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[WAR'S "LOW RIDER".]
We are now on the autobahn, baby.
Yes! All my friends Know the low rider You know there's not a speed limit on this autobahn, right? Low rider drives a little slower [HORNS BLARING.]
[METAL CRASHING.]
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[APPLAUSE.]
If we're on the autobahn, why are we going 20 miles an hour? [CARS HONKING.]
We have a train of cars behind us.
This is scary right here.
It's pretty frightening driving on the fastest place you can drive in the world.
RVs were not built for sport or to attract ladies.
To your right, lookie here.
Yeah, they go 120 miles an hour.
I have a what, two or three Ferraris? - What? - Wow.
- Yeah.
- Get out.
Let me get one.
How can you do with more than one? - I'm stupid.
- He's rich.
I'm obsessed with cars.
I love cars.
[ROUSING HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
I have a Toyota Camry.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
Okay.
Are we going to a track? Yeah, to a track.
Gotta go fast.
Well, I'm excited 'cause I want to drive fast cars too.
All right, that'll be our next stop.
We have a deal.
The guys get a chance to enjoy themselves in the beer hall, and today I'm gonna have the experience I've always wanted, driving fast cars in Germany! I can't wait! - All right, we're here.
- Yeah, we're here.
[ENGINE REVVING.]
[ROUSING ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Whoa.
- [YELPS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
This is the fast and the nauseous.
Stop, you got to let me out.
You got to let me out.
[GROANS.]
- Ah! - [VOMITS.]
[GROANING.]
- What's wrong, Terry? - [BURPS.]
After the beer hall, I think these guys need a breathalyzer.
- You like to drive this car? - Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Why is an ambulance already here? - Just in case.
- What do I do if Terry's my emergency contact? - You're in trouble, Jack.
- Yeah, I'm in big trouble.
Bill isn't back yet.
Does anyone know where Bill is? He's talking to some guy.
Yeah, he's out with with the engineer.
- Huh? - Tell me about the engine.
The engine is a 3-liter, six-cylinder engine.
- You want to pop it? - Yeah, then we'll have a look.
Let's take a look at the machinery.
I'm excited about driving the car, but also the workings of the car excite me too, and I get to talk to the chief engineer.
That's that's a privilege.
How much have you pumped up the performance? We've pumped up the performance by another additional 70 horsepower.
Really? - So you're ready to start? - We was born ready.
- Well, let's go.
- Okay.
The object of the race? Fast as you can, run to the car, jump in, and drive to the finish line as fast as you can.
It's real easy.
Stand back, boys! I'm the car guy.
I got this.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- I can't wait to get out there.
- Won't won't go fast.
George is first? Yeah.
Ready to go? Three, two, one, go! [ROUSING ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Come on, George.
That's a gallop.
I love the pace! He ain't gonna fit in that thing.
There, he's in.
Put the seatbelt on first, George! - Go! - Drive! [UPBEAT MUZAK.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
Yeah! Now, this is why I came back on the trip.
You get a chance to experience something like this.
It's once in a lifetime.
Racing fast cars, hanging out with my friends, it's called living.
Oh, boy.
Why'd he stop? He forgot to go through the cones past the finish line.
Holy cow.
Oh, poor George is having a senior moment.
- Mark it! - DQ.
For a guy that follows all the rules in regular life, he follows none of the rules on the track.
- Are you surprised? - I am.
I thought he was the car guy.
That's a car, man.
Oh, yes! You still didn't cross the finish line.
- Where's the finish line? - You got to go through those cones, past them.
Oh.
I knew was something wrong.
Take it from a champ.
When you don't win, you make excuses.
I was tricked! I was robbed! There were a lot of cones there.
This is a new car.
But seriously, that car was broken.
- Look at him.
- There he is.
Terry Bradshaw getting ready for the big race.
Shirt by Tommy Bahama, boots from Cherry Pop nightclub.
America, I'm about to show you how it's done.
- Go! - Wait, wait, hold up.
No, go ahead.
I'm trying to get us some time so we can win this thing.
Take your time, Terry! Go! [PITBULL'S "GREENLIGHT".]
'Cause I'm ready to go Oh, yeah, look at, he's already hitting it hard.
[BEEPS.]
Good time, huh? Wow.
Man, what a thrill machine.
- Go! - Go get 'em, tiger! Come on, come on, come on.
[CHAIR WHIRRING.]
Come on.
Your feet'll touch.
[LAUGHTER.]
Here we go.
And good.
- Go! - 'Cause I'm ready to go Come on, Fonz! Whoa.
Whoa.
- Oh, my! - That was crazy good! Thank you.
- [BEEPS.]
- Go! - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
- Come on! - Oh, gosh.
- Look at him, look at him.
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Time is running.
[UPBEAT MUZAK.]
- The seat's up! - Oh, what a goober.
This is so unfair.
Why do I have to go after the shortest guy here? There he goes.
'Cause I'm ready to go Oh.
[BEEPS.]
Henry beat me.
- Henry! - Yeah! This is rigged.
Oh, my gosh, I've never won before in my life.
[INAUDIBLE.]
faster than me.
No, that was a record.
Whoo! All right! I rule! I'm the winner.
I'm the winner.
I have never won in a car.
- Look.
- Yes? - I'm happy you won.
- Thank you.
But don't be quite so feminine about it.
Okay, fine.
- Act like - Okay, watch, watch.
- Why you showboating, man? - Okay, watch.
Be a humble winner.
Whoa.
- Ah, I love it! - Watch it! I love it, that right there! Well, shall we get in and drive off into the sunset? We can't do that because we talked too long already.
What do you mean, I can't drive it on the track? Well, time is out.
I've been told we only have this much time.
Wh My time is up, he's got to go, and I never drove the car.
If you didn't go over every inch of the car with the man, you would have had time.
You know what BMW stands for? - I would like to know.
- Yeah.
Bill is Mad at Winkler.
You just made that up.
Come on.
I'm getting out of here.
Thank you.
[HORN HONKS.]
That was the best.
I'm hungry.
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
The hills are alive.
I'm okay! - This is terrible.
- Oh, boy.
- What are you so afraid of? - Bill.
- Oh.
- Look at how great this is.
- Hey, hey! - Don't do that.
- [YODELING.]
- [YODELING.]
- [SPITS.]
- [LAUGHTER.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[DAINTY UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Everything's going to plan.
I know what these guys like, and now I've got something they're really gonna love.
I'm killing it this year, killing it.
So I booked this great, great bus, right? - Yeah? - Really? - The whole theme of the bus- - What is it? - It's a old war movie.
- Thank you, Jeff.
- Yeah? - Really? But not like "Rambo" or nothing.
It's older.
Yeah? - It's "The Sound of Music.
" - Oh, wait a minute.
- What? - "The Sound of Music"? It takes you to all the different places from the movie.
You can sing the songs for the movie.
I mean, who doesn't love that movie? I hated that movie.
With songs they have sung For 1,000 years My friend, Chris Plummer, was in it.
- Yeah.
- And I hated that movie.
[PERSON SNEEZES.]
Gesundheit.
Come on.
Julie Andrews was amazing.
Amazing, but it was a terrible movie.
Oh, and it is a love story of all ages.
Oh, it was a terrible love story.
People walking up a hill? They got exhausted.
Here we are in front of the bus.
We're having a great time.
I'm so excited.
- Yeah, me too.
- The hills are alive.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.
With the sound of music Who wants to do a movie experience? I come from movies.
I want to do something else other than celebrate a movie.
If you're gonna celebrate a movie, celebrate my movie.
The hills are alive, and so is Bill, for now.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, hello, everybody.
I'm your guide, Mikaela, and you are on the original "Sound of Music" tour.
We're going to see the best film locations today, and I hope you're ready for some songs.
- Yes.
- Do you have a favorite song? - Anything by the Goo Goo Dolls.
- I what? From the movie? - Right.
My fault.
- Yeah.
ALL: Do, a deer a female deer Re, a drop of golden sun Mi, a name I call myself Fa, a long, long way to run - Hit it, Bill.
- Take it, Bill! [MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
How long is this tour exactly? BOTH: Do, a deer, a female deer.
- I got it.
- BOTH: Re, a drop of golden - I got it.
Do.
- BOTH: Sun.
I get the feeling Bill does not want to sing this song.
Ah, yeah, you picked up on that? All right, Henry, you want me to sing? - I'd like you to sing.
- Are you ready? Hit it.
What? [LAUGHTER.]
Very good.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Move over, Terry Bradshaw.
There's another yodeler in town.
Yo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-ho.
Hoo.
George, that was fabulous.
- [PLASTIC CLANKS.]
- Ow, [BLEEP.]
.
Now, that's the sound of music.
That was really funny.
- I'm bleeding.
- Okay.
Oh, my goodness.
Look at this.
Man alive.
They got snakes in Munich? [ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
Is that beautiful? Very Alpy.
- Wow.
- George.
George.
I've seen it on film, and now we're seeing it in real life.
I would be inspired to break into song.
You would? Absolutely.
Julie Andrews stands in the middle of this field, this very field, and spins and sings.
I can't sing, but I can spin, so I'm spinning.
[DRAMATIC DRUMROLL.]
The hills are alive ["THE SOUNDS OF MUSIC" PLAYS.]
With the sound of music.
Ah.
- [GRUNTS.]
- Am I doing it? The hills are alive.
Is it like the movie? I'm okay! With the feeling of flowers.
Hello, buttercups.
- [BLOWS.]
- [CRIES.]
The hills are alive.
Did Julie get this dizzy? Come get me, Henry.
The sound of music.
- Where's Terry? - Where's Terry? [COWS MOOING.]
Terry Bradshaw here in the Bavarian Alps, and can't get away from good, old cattle.
Look at them coming.
Here.
That's a Simmental.
That thing gorgeous? [COW MOOS.]
Terry? All right, guys, you're on TV.
Got to go.
Bye.
Whoo! [LAUGHS.]
- Ugh.
- Yee-haw! ["THE LONELY GOATHERD" PLAYS.]
[IMITATES YODELING.]
How do I stop that? - [ECHOING.]
- How do I stop that? [LAUGHING AND TRILLING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[PANTING.]
I hope we don't have to do it again.
My legs aren't what they used to be.
No, I understand that, yeah.
- We're all in that position.
- Yeah.
Every once in a while, my knees talk to me.
- Really? What do they say? - Sit down.
- You all right? - Yeah.
[YAWNS.]
I never thought we would get back together again and be on this incredible trip a second time.
I never thought it'd be five of us.
I thought four for sure.
Four for sure? Do you realize how many people can't believe that I know you guys? Jeff, they don't know who you are.
But really, they can't believe I know you and George and Henry.
I couldn't wait for this to happen again.
I hoped it would happen.
I really missed you guys, all of you.
Yeah, we missed you.
- Except me.
Except me.
- No, no.
Hey, hey Do you know why - You know what you missed? - Hold it, you know Wait a minute, no, you hold it.
I saw you do this marvelous job for the NFL.
- Yeah.
- I called you three times to say how good you were.
- I didn't take your calls.
- I know.
Terry jokes around a lot, and, you know, we have this clash of titans.
Do you realize that you're in a helpless position? You can't get up without my help.
- Yeah, but I - You can't get up, I'll bet.
I'll roll and eventually get up.
Not really.
Deep down, Terry loves me.
Terry loves me.
Terry loves me not.
Terry loves me.
Terry loves me not? Bill? What was Lincoln like? [DRAMATIC STING.]
[EAGLE SCREECHES.]
[ROUSING GERMAN MUSIC.]
Oh, biscuits, look at the Alps.
Oh, wow.
There's the snow.
Get out of here.
Wow.
There are the Alps, thrust up by Mother Nature.
Boy, ain't that something.
I'm telling you, I'm blown away with this thing, Germany.
I love Germany.
Look at how beautiful our earth is.
I've never seen anything like this.
Wow, this is extraordinary.
The Alps are one of the great wonders of the world.
I've become interested in mountain climbing.
I read a lot of books about people who were climbing.
It's wild.
People die and fall off.
[MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS.]
Old Buzzkill Bill strikes again.
[ZANY UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[HORN HONKS.]
We finish our tour at the Zugspitze, the tallest mountain in Germany.
You can climb over the mountain.
- Really? Right into it? - Maybe not these guys.
[LAUGHS.]
- Check it out.
- What? - Ski lift.
- Holy [BLEEP.]
.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Zugspitze.
I do not want to get on a gondola.
We're going all the way up there.
Oh boy.
[SIGHS.]
I don't remember agreeing to this.
[DRAMATIC WESTERN MUSIC.]
It looked like worms! I will take your arm and rip it out of your shoulder.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
No, get that thing away from me.
Four Super Bowls, and he's afraid of snakes.
Let's get out of there! How high is this thing? Higher than the Empire State Building.
- Here's the glass floor.
- Look down.
Oh.
Crazy William Shatner! You got to have faith.
What faith I had I lost because of you.
How many times have you heard me say, "I don't like heights.
I don't want anything to do with heights"? The wind swings the gondola.
How long is the ride up there? A half an hour to 45 minutes.
When the wind sways it, we go slowly.
- You're just scaring me.
- Yeah, he's a bully.
Whoo.
Not one of my favorite things here.
It's gonna be great.
What are you so afraid of? Look, it's very secure.
- All of us are getting on this? - This is gonna be great.
I saw this on "Ninja Warrior.
" Jeff, you shouldn't play up here.
Safety's for nerds, dude.
[GRUNTS.]
And exactly what is our safety net here? The safety net is when you fall, roll.
Please don't say that.
Do you get nervous when I do this? - Hey! - You shouldn't do that.
You shouldn't do that.
Jeff, you're about to meet my two German friends, Hansel and Gretel.
- What's this do? - I'm not playing, Jeff.
You better sit down this time.
Why? Risk of being my fourth comeback.
[LAUGHTER.]
Wait, I'm gonna get a title shot just like that? That's right.
[MACHINERY CLANKS.]
Uh-oh, we're moving.
[ZANY MUSIC.]
The thing will begin to sway.
Oh, boy, this is terrible.
I have to tell you something.
I deeply respect that Terry's afraid of heights, and are you going to be a good boy in that gondola? You're asking me not to take advantage of the situation.
What was that you said about me the other day? - [FLOOR CLANKS.]
- Bill.
Wha oh, hey, Bill, don't do that.
This isn't the old days when things were dangerous.
Look at how great this is.
Hey, don't do that, seriously, now.
Seriously.
You're not alone on this thing.
In in 185-mile-an-hour winds it's safe, just swings a little.
You've never heard of a gondola falling? Yes.
Yes, but so rarely.
Oh, my God, we're coming into a rock.
Look at this rock we're coming Look whoa gondola.
Oh, [BLEEP.]
.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Did you see that? I can't believe Bill, Old Shatner's acting like that.
George, I'm with you here, bud.
This is No way to play, huh? Bill likes to poke the buttons.
You got to get off first, 'cause if you're the last one off, it begins to move and sway.
Bill is an 86-year-old 8-year-old.
- We made it.
- Not yet.
It's got to dock.
He will find out that if he pushes this too far, I will take him out.
And run.
Go, now! Go, now! We're on top of the mountain.
- Ooh, this is beautiful.
- Oh, my God.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
Oh! That hurt! - [YODELING.]
- [WHIP CRACKING.]
I just whipped myself.
Oh, my God, look what you did.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[ROUSING DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Come on, we're going to the top.
We never got to the top of Mount Fuji.
We saw Mount Fuji.
Walking up to Mount Fuji.
No, no, no, we're gonna go look at Mount Fuji.
We're gonna look at Mt.
Fuji.
- Is that beautiful? - That is beautiful.
This time we get to the top of the highest mountain in all of Germany.
Oh, my.
This is the top, guys.
- Oh, my gosh.
- This is where I wanted to hit.
Wow, isn't this extraordinary? Bavarian Alps.
Isn't it beautiful? We're on top of the mountain.
- Oh, this is beautiful.
- Wow.
Oh, my God.
I don't know much about the Bavarian Alps.
- We know that.
- No, no, keep going.
Keep going.
How far across are these Alps? Several hundred miles, but they're thousands of miles in length.
We can see 360 degree panoramic view of four countries.
Isn't this extraordinary? Occasionally we have a serious moment, and this is my serious moment.
And you know Amazing Oh, no, don't, don't.
- Grace - No, no, Terry, Terry, God.
- How sweet - Oh, Terry.
BOTH: The sound - Bill, come join us.
- Terry, God.
For God's sake, shut up.
- That saved - That saves saved BOTH: A wretch like me This is the most beautiful thing you can possibly see, and nobody's paying attention.
I don't understand.
Austria.
That means Austria, "achtung.
" [CHIMES DING.]
This is nature in the raw.
Look at the spectacular, uh, buildings there goes a bird.
- Whoa.
- It's flying into Austria.
At 10,000 feet, these crows - God, you talk a lot.
- Are you listening to me? What's the matter with them? Don't come near me.
- One picture, please? - All right, one picture.
Thank you.
Secretly, no matter how he complains, Hey, guys, I'm a kind human being.
He loves this.
Who knew? This is an amazing adventure, and this is only the beginning of our trip.
You know what? I'm terrified, but I wouldn't come up here with anyone but you.
That's nice of you to say.
[ROUSING POP MUSIC.]
- Wow.
- Whoa.
Here we are.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God.
You know, I have to say that I was a little nervous about getting out on the road again.
Were we going to be as tight as we were on the first trip? - See if you can hit me.
- Oh, this is trouble.
Come on.
Come on, try me.
And you realize that no matter how much time there has been since we saw each other Whoa! Oh! That hurt! Nothing has changed.
Oh, lord.
I did not do that.
Bill! [LAUGHING.]
Maybe it is the altitude talking, but I love these guys.
I live my life Hey, how you doing? I'm from America.
Here we go again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[CHEERING.]
Yo-leedel-oh-leedel-oh-lo-lee.
We are wonderful friends.
This is amazing.
People, this is gorgeous.
I can't handle this.
Yes, you can.
You know, we all became friends - We did.
- As a result of this journey, both the great beauty and the hardship and all.
- Yes.
- And we love each other.
- Yes.
Thank you.
- [KISSES.]
And I love you.
I love you.
'Cause you're a dear, dear man.
Hey, George, there's nothing to worry about.
I don't trust you snowballers.
- Oh! - [LAUGHS.]
- Bt you know what they say.
- What's that? - Better late than never.
- Oh.
Revenge! [LAUGHS.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
MALE NARRATOR: Last season, four living legends took a trip of a lifetime.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
NARRATOR: They experienced everything Asia had to offer.
Pork vagina.
- Are you getting in here? - Why do I think of peaches? [ROUSING UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[CHEERING.]
NARRATOR: And ended up the best of friends.
Best people in the world.
NARRATOR: This time they're taking a European adventure unlike anything you've ever seen before.
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[RECORD SCRATCHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
NARRATOR: They're back [LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM'S "HOLIDAY ROAD".]
- [SNAKE HISSES.]
- Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.
NARRATOR: As the guys - [ALL CHEERING.]
- We're gonna get arrested.
- NARRATOR: Saddle up again - Okay.
NARRATOR: To visit the old country Come on, boys.
NARRATOR: Connect with their ancestors, [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
NARRATOR: And have a European adventure that's gonna change their lives What a journey.
NARRATOR: And blow their minds.
[EXPLOSION.]
- The adventure begins.
- I'm ready.
[BATTLE CRY.]
Holiday road - NARRATOR: Starring - Ow-ow-ow! NARRATOR: TV superstar Henry Winkler How do I stop this? NARRATOR: Cultural icon I don't know what I'm doing.
NARRATOR: William Shatner.
NFL hall-of-famer I love this country! NARRATOR: Terry Bradshaw.
These guys are driving me crazy.
NARRATOR: Former heavyweight champion George Foreman.
- [ROARS.]
- NARRATOR: And Jeffrey.
Jeffrey.
Jeffrey! NARRATOR: Jeff Dye as The Sidekick.
I don't want to die a virgin.
Whoo! NARRATOR: Just when you thought it was safe to go back on vacation [SINGING GIBBERISH.]
Just a good, old-fashioned, family European holiday! NARRATOR: "Better Late Than Never.
" I love mooching! - [EXPLOSION.]
- [BIRD SCREECHES.]
[ENGINE ROARS.]
- Where is Bill? - I don't know where Bill is.
Don't we have to be here three hours before it takes off internationally? Actually, there he is.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Hey, superstar, really? - Are you going like that? - Yeah.
I am a fashion statement, my friend.
Check it out.
Look at this.
Look, I'm embarrassed.
Look at all these people looking at us.
You know, you remember George? Is your memory still good? After he hit me.
Did you just say, "Is your memory still good?" Yeah.
- We're gonna be late.
- Where's our first stop? - Germany, Munich.
- Perfect.
It's game time [FLO RIDA'S "GAME TIME".]
We're back.
- We're back.
- We're back.
What an adventure.
Five friends out to see the world again.
We survived Asia.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
Hello, Hong Kong! This time It's game time We're going to Europe.
Auf wiedersehen.
It's game time Because let's face it, anywhere else is too hot for Terry.
I already like it better than Asia.
I'm not sweating.
[EPIC CHOIR MUSIC.]
- Who's got the car? - Where we who's got the car? I got you guys.
We're riding in style.
Last trip I was supposed to be in charge of all the logistics, and I didn't do it well.
You guys ready? But this time I actually have a plan.
, It's right here.
How great is this? - That's it? - That's not a car.
- It's a home.
- It's called an RV.
You can even go to the bathroom in it so we don't got to stop or nothing.
This is crazy.
[LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM'S "HOLIDAY ROAD".]
It's bigger than my apartment.
- Ow.
- I'm not a fan.
Remembering what happened in the past, why have we got Jeff doing the same thing? Because I forgot about the past.
Oh.
Short-term memory goes.
It's true.
You get older, it just disappears.
Just a good, old-fashioned, family European holiday! Holiday road Whoo! Jeff, what are you doing? Hey, we're American! How about that we're doing this again? Let's just do three cheers that we're all together again.
- Oh, my gosh.
- After two years.
One, two, three.
- Whoo, yodel-ay-he-hoo! - Hey! All right! - Yeah! - Whoo-hoo! Traveling with these four guys and getting out and seeing the world.
Hey, look at all how beautiful this is, guys.
I'm telling you, it just doesn't get any better than this.
What are we gonna do in Munich? I think we should all get some lederhosen.
Oh, come on.
So we can be we can feel.
That's what you always say.
When you're in the culture, you've got to be part of the culture.
- Henry, that's pretty good.
- You mock me, sir.
I'm not wearing no leather shorts.
[TRAFFIC BLARES.]
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[GERMAN HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
- Get out.
- Don't let the animals out.
- Well, here we are, - Showing you the town.
Wow, look at this town, guys.
I mean, what part of town is this? This ta This is the center of Munich.
Let's try to read all the signs.
"Vinzinmer.
" "Vinbinmer.
" I don't understand these names over here, hard to pronounce.
[GIBBERISH.]
"Vinbinmer.
" Wow, look at this old thing coming up here.
No, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Isn't this the glockenspiel? George, this is the biggest cuckoo clock in the world.
Wow! This gawkenschmeel glackensm this glockenschmeel glockenschmeel gawkens well, whatever it is, it's a big cuckoo clock.
- Where'd Henry go? - Nice to see you.
- Look at Henry.
- Hi, my name is Henry.
Here we are, right back to where we left off.
How do I look? Awesome.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
Hi.
How are you? Henry's walking around signing autographs, taking photos with strangers.
My name is Henry.
Nice to see you.
And Bill runs from all of his fans and doesn't want to talk to any of them.
Actually, I don't take pictures.
Did you just have trouble with Bill? Yeah, he wouldn't let me.
Yeah, he's a little he's a little rascal.
I want to embrace the culture of Germany and absorb it as much as possible.
I don't want to be signing autographs and taking pictures.
Get closer to me.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
Hey.
Henry loves that.
I hate it.
Jeff Dye.
Jeff, oh, my God, they recognized you.
- No, they didn't recognize me.
- No, they did.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
BOTH: Oh, my gosh.
- What's her name? - Her name is Esther Hilton.
Oh, she's gonna regret saying that.
Well, good! Yeah, who needs her? Oh, my God, that is the worst thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let's go.
Have you signed everybody's autograph, guys? - No.
- Oh, no! - Oh, my God, look at this.
- Look at this guy.
okay.
Ein minute.
Okay, these pants, where do you get them? We're here to dive into the culture of every place we go.
There's a lederhosen store just right down that corner.
Okay, we're getting these.
When in Munich, when in Germany.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I'm I'm thinking we ought to be in Italy.
[ROUSING MUSIC.]
- [RECORD SCRATCH.]
- [BABY CRIES.]
Check this out.
- Oh, oh.
- Holy cow.
- Hi, how are you? - Fine, thanks.
Evidently Daniel is the king of all lederhosen.
Oh, my goodness.
I pictured a little something else for the king of all lederhosens.
Look at the pants here.
- Leather pants.
- I don't know about all this.
I'd like to get a pair of those britches.
- Lederhosen.
- Come on.
You want to try the leather trouser? Let's go.
[SULTRY POP MUSIC.]
Ooh, beautiful.
You go inside like American.
You come outside like a Bavarian.
Daniel, I cannot figure this thing out.
- Oh, come on.
Come on.
- Let me dance a little.
- [LAUGHS.]
- You know, I feel ridiculous.
Tada! How do I look, my friend? Now I got to yodel.
[IMITATES YODELING.]
- Ow.
- Oh! - You're a man now.
- [STAMMERS.]
- I have some special for you.
- Yeah? - No.
- Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
I feel like a real boy.
If I didn't know better, I'd think you're flirting.
Now you're ready for Oktoberfest.
I'm ready here I go.
- [SLAP.]
- Oh! This is the key That makes us wind up When the beat comes on The girls all line up I wish I was wearing my jockeys.
- You didn't wear any underwear? - No.
- Beers it is.
- To the beer hall.
I'm in, and I don't even drink.
Let's go.
When in Rome, you guessed it, do like the Romans.
When in Munich, do like the Munichs.
Oktoberfest, check me out.
[ROUSING UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[CHEERING.]
- Oh, yes.
- Oh.
Aw, yeah! This is what I'm talking about.
[UPBEAT BRASS MUSIC.]
Just the German I need.
[CHEERING.]
- Hello, everybody.
- Hey! It's so joyful in here.
People are drinking.
People are having a good time.
[IMITATES TROMBONE.]
Hey! - I don't want to be here.
- Oh, come on.
- George, come on.
- No.
I don't drink.
I don't even want to be around beer.
I'm out.
'Cause people get crazy, and I don't know what these guys are gonna do.
[MUMBLING.]
- That's good.
- Henry, come sit down before we fall down.
There you go.
I am so excited to be here, and you know I don't drink, so You why do you why do you keep saying that? Because I don't drink.
I got two words for you, Henry.
- What? - Sake in Kyoto.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Yeah! [CHEERING.]
A couple of sips, not gonna hurt.
Ah, that German beer.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
- Hey! - Jeffrey! - Munich! - Munich! Bill's 86 years old.
I mean, any minute, people, he could be out of here.
Let's have some fun! [P! NK'S "RAISE YOUR GLASS".]
So raise your glass if you are wrong - Oktoberfest! - I love my boy here.
All my underdogs We will never be never be anything but loud And nitty gritty Have a little more.
What do you say? - Yes, sir.
- I love Germany! I love beer! All the right ways All my underdogs We will never be never be But you don't really drink? I don't really drink.
But really, Henry, you do drink.
But I know my limit.
Won't you come on come on And raise your glass [LAUGHING.]
Raise your glass My friend Terry, you never see him lose control.
Just come on and come on and Raise your glass for me I learned an important lesson today.
Don't drink and FaceTime.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- [PHONE BEEPING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SHOUTS.]
Okay, Stace, I love you, and - Oh, and I love you too.
- Yeah.
- 'Kay? - And I love you.
- Mwuah.
- Bye.
So raise your glass if you are wrong I love Muenchen! [CHEERING.]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING.]
[MOANING.]
I don't feel good.
Oh, my God.
I love this country.
Here we go again.
- The autobahn.
- Whoo! - Let me out.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [VOMITS.]
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
[WAILS.]
The hills are alive, and so is Bill! [BIRD SCREECHES.]
For now.
[LAUGHS.]
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[MOANING.]
I don't feel good.
[TAIO CRUZ'S "HANGOVER".]
I love Muenchen! - Are we in Heaven? - No, you're not in Heaven.
It's Germany.
I got a hangover I been drinking too much I got a - How many beers did you have? - I had two.
They don't feel good.
Hangover hospitals, you got to see this place.
If you don't feel good, this is where you come when you've had too much to drink.
I am investing my money into hangover hospitals.
It's gonna be the hottest thing going.
I can't believe we're gonna beat Bill to Heaven.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
That is so funny.
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
You're gonna miss the train.
No, I'm not.
I'm coming.
- Come on.
- I'm coming.
Whoo, I am getting nauseous.
Yesterday was exhausting.
Between the long drive, the jet lag, and Oktoberfest, we're all feeling a little under the weather.
He's getting sick already.
Getting getting a little nauseous.
Oh, is that true? - Nauseous? - Yeah, a little.
So today we're just gonna kind of lay low and just kind of sit back and enjoy the ride.
I missed you guys.
- Here's the amazing thing - Wow.
We haven't seen each other in two years, and it's like we saw each other yesterday.
- Yeah, I know.
- I love it.
Isn't it fantastic? We're all together.
We're friends.
We are all the same But, you know, we're not all the same because you give an autograph.
- And you won't.
- There's quite a difference.
That's true.
That is true.
I give.
You don't.
- Well - I'm a giver.
Wait, listen, you guys, you were in the square.
All you did was take pictures with other people, signing autographs and Now, let me ask you a question.
Okay, why do you think people come up and say, "Hey, I'd like to take a picture with you?" - Why? I don't know.
- They love your work.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you why.
Of course you're gonna tell me why.
[LAUGHTER.]
Because they like what you do.
Now they come and they say, "I've watched you for ten years, "and I'm so happy to see you.
I would like a memory.
" And you deny them of that memory? Bill? Yes, he does.
[LAUGHTER.]
- You hug them, and you - I do.
And you give them love, and there's all kinds of dreadful diseases going around.
- No.
- And you put yourself in the in harm's way that way.
No, no, no.
One year everybody was saying, "George, can I take a photograph?" Then ten years later, "George, can you stand and take a photograph for my dad?" 30 years later, "George, for my grandfather, can you take a photograph?" The transformation, I don't like the grandfather.
I don't like the grandfather either.
Have you ever signed an autograph, and he says, "Hey, I got your autograph 12 years ago, but I can't find it.
" - Happens all the time.
- You sign it sign it again.
You're going, like All of the time.
It's never happened to me because - People don't talk to you.
- When I sign an autograph, it becomes of value.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Oh, boy.
- You guys are right.
We're back.
It's just like last year.
God.
We're here! Hey! Here we are.
Look at how beautiful this is.
This is a really lovely city.
[ROUSING UPBEAT MUSIC.]
God, look at this park.
I think we should go this way.
- Here? - Yeah.
The only time I'll go on a man picnic is with these guys, but what the hell? Well, this is nice.
I like this.
What do you guys want to see while we're here? Lots of old buildings.
Well, that I can find easy.
I want to see nice cars.
- Lots of churches.
- That's what I like to visit.
What about naked women? - I don't know about that.
- Hello.
[DRAMATIC STING.]
Holy mackerel.
Look at this guy.
Did you know that this park had naked people in it? 100%.
I'm a little speechless.
The people that want to be naked are never people you'd think would want to be naked.
I got to tell you guys, I love this country! - Oh, geez.
- Oh, my God.
Here we go again.
Who let all that out? Ugh.
Ugh.
Woof, woof.
[DOG YELPS.]
George, you want to play Frisbee with me? I knew Terry was gonna get naked.
Why I brought my terry cloth.
I don't want to see it.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Oh, that's genius.
Bill, you're the one that always said embrace the culture.
I'm not going to embrace that culture.
- Oh.
- I'll tell you that.
No, don't come too close to me.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'll do anything to make Shatner uncomfortable.
I got to stretch.
Oh, no, don't do that.
Terry, your wife's gonna have a difficult time finding a nursing home for you.
[LAUGHING.]
Hey, how you doing! I'm from America.
[LAUGHS.]
[HOWLS.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[WAR'S "LOW RIDER".]
We are now on the autobahn, baby.
Yes! All my friends Know the low rider You know there's not a speed limit on this autobahn, right? Low rider drives a little slower [HORNS BLARING.]
[METAL CRASHING.]
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[APPLAUSE.]
If we're on the autobahn, why are we going 20 miles an hour? [CARS HONKING.]
We have a train of cars behind us.
This is scary right here.
It's pretty frightening driving on the fastest place you can drive in the world.
RVs were not built for sport or to attract ladies.
To your right, lookie here.
Yeah, they go 120 miles an hour.
I have a what, two or three Ferraris? - What? - Wow.
- Yeah.
- Get out.
Let me get one.
How can you do with more than one? - I'm stupid.
- He's rich.
I'm obsessed with cars.
I love cars.
[ROUSING HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
I have a Toyota Camry.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
Okay.
Are we going to a track? Yeah, to a track.
Gotta go fast.
Well, I'm excited 'cause I want to drive fast cars too.
All right, that'll be our next stop.
We have a deal.
The guys get a chance to enjoy themselves in the beer hall, and today I'm gonna have the experience I've always wanted, driving fast cars in Germany! I can't wait! - All right, we're here.
- Yeah, we're here.
[ENGINE REVVING.]
[ROUSING ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Whoa.
- [YELPS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
This is the fast and the nauseous.
Stop, you got to let me out.
You got to let me out.
[GROANS.]
- Ah! - [VOMITS.]
[GROANING.]
- What's wrong, Terry? - [BURPS.]
After the beer hall, I think these guys need a breathalyzer.
- You like to drive this car? - Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Why is an ambulance already here? - Just in case.
- What do I do if Terry's my emergency contact? - You're in trouble, Jack.
- Yeah, I'm in big trouble.
Bill isn't back yet.
Does anyone know where Bill is? He's talking to some guy.
Yeah, he's out with with the engineer.
- Huh? - Tell me about the engine.
The engine is a 3-liter, six-cylinder engine.
- You want to pop it? - Yeah, then we'll have a look.
Let's take a look at the machinery.
I'm excited about driving the car, but also the workings of the car excite me too, and I get to talk to the chief engineer.
That's that's a privilege.
How much have you pumped up the performance? We've pumped up the performance by another additional 70 horsepower.
Really? - So you're ready to start? - We was born ready.
- Well, let's go.
- Okay.
The object of the race? Fast as you can, run to the car, jump in, and drive to the finish line as fast as you can.
It's real easy.
Stand back, boys! I'm the car guy.
I got this.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- I can't wait to get out there.
- Won't won't go fast.
George is first? Yeah.
Ready to go? Three, two, one, go! [ROUSING ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Come on, George.
That's a gallop.
I love the pace! He ain't gonna fit in that thing.
There, he's in.
Put the seatbelt on first, George! - Go! - Drive! [UPBEAT MUZAK.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
Yeah! Now, this is why I came back on the trip.
You get a chance to experience something like this.
It's once in a lifetime.
Racing fast cars, hanging out with my friends, it's called living.
Oh, boy.
Why'd he stop? He forgot to go through the cones past the finish line.
Holy cow.
Oh, poor George is having a senior moment.
- Mark it! - DQ.
For a guy that follows all the rules in regular life, he follows none of the rules on the track.
- Are you surprised? - I am.
I thought he was the car guy.
That's a car, man.
Oh, yes! You still didn't cross the finish line.
- Where's the finish line? - You got to go through those cones, past them.
Oh.
I knew was something wrong.
Take it from a champ.
When you don't win, you make excuses.
I was tricked! I was robbed! There were a lot of cones there.
This is a new car.
But seriously, that car was broken.
- Look at him.
- There he is.
Terry Bradshaw getting ready for the big race.
Shirt by Tommy Bahama, boots from Cherry Pop nightclub.
America, I'm about to show you how it's done.
- Go! - Wait, wait, hold up.
No, go ahead.
I'm trying to get us some time so we can win this thing.
Take your time, Terry! Go! [PITBULL'S "GREENLIGHT".]
'Cause I'm ready to go Oh, yeah, look at, he's already hitting it hard.
[BEEPS.]
Good time, huh? Wow.
Man, what a thrill machine.
- Go! - Go get 'em, tiger! Come on, come on, come on.
[CHAIR WHIRRING.]
Come on.
Your feet'll touch.
[LAUGHTER.]
Here we go.
And good.
- Go! - 'Cause I'm ready to go Come on, Fonz! Whoa.
Whoa.
- Oh, my! - That was crazy good! Thank you.
- [BEEPS.]
- Go! - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
- Come on! - Oh, gosh.
- Look at him, look at him.
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Time is running.
[UPBEAT MUZAK.]
- The seat's up! - Oh, what a goober.
This is so unfair.
Why do I have to go after the shortest guy here? There he goes.
'Cause I'm ready to go Oh.
[BEEPS.]
Henry beat me.
- Henry! - Yeah! This is rigged.
Oh, my gosh, I've never won before in my life.
[INAUDIBLE.]
faster than me.
No, that was a record.
Whoo! All right! I rule! I'm the winner.
I'm the winner.
I have never won in a car.
- Look.
- Yes? - I'm happy you won.
- Thank you.
But don't be quite so feminine about it.
Okay, fine.
- Act like - Okay, watch, watch.
- Why you showboating, man? - Okay, watch.
Be a humble winner.
Whoa.
- Ah, I love it! - Watch it! I love it, that right there! Well, shall we get in and drive off into the sunset? We can't do that because we talked too long already.
What do you mean, I can't drive it on the track? Well, time is out.
I've been told we only have this much time.
Wh My time is up, he's got to go, and I never drove the car.
If you didn't go over every inch of the car with the man, you would have had time.
You know what BMW stands for? - I would like to know.
- Yeah.
Bill is Mad at Winkler.
You just made that up.
Come on.
I'm getting out of here.
Thank you.
[HORN HONKS.]
That was the best.
I'm hungry.
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
The hills are alive.
I'm okay! - This is terrible.
- Oh, boy.
- What are you so afraid of? - Bill.
- Oh.
- Look at how great this is.
- Hey, hey! - Don't do that.
- [YODELING.]
- [YODELING.]
- [SPITS.]
- [LAUGHTER.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[DAINTY UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Everything's going to plan.
I know what these guys like, and now I've got something they're really gonna love.
I'm killing it this year, killing it.
So I booked this great, great bus, right? - Yeah? - Really? - The whole theme of the bus- - What is it? - It's a old war movie.
- Thank you, Jeff.
- Yeah? - Really? But not like "Rambo" or nothing.
It's older.
Yeah? - It's "The Sound of Music.
" - Oh, wait a minute.
- What? - "The Sound of Music"? It takes you to all the different places from the movie.
You can sing the songs for the movie.
I mean, who doesn't love that movie? I hated that movie.
With songs they have sung For 1,000 years My friend, Chris Plummer, was in it.
- Yeah.
- And I hated that movie.
[PERSON SNEEZES.]
Gesundheit.
Come on.
Julie Andrews was amazing.
Amazing, but it was a terrible movie.
Oh, and it is a love story of all ages.
Oh, it was a terrible love story.
People walking up a hill? They got exhausted.
Here we are in front of the bus.
We're having a great time.
I'm so excited.
- Yeah, me too.
- The hills are alive.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.
With the sound of music Who wants to do a movie experience? I come from movies.
I want to do something else other than celebrate a movie.
If you're gonna celebrate a movie, celebrate my movie.
The hills are alive, and so is Bill, for now.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, hello, everybody.
I'm your guide, Mikaela, and you are on the original "Sound of Music" tour.
We're going to see the best film locations today, and I hope you're ready for some songs.
- Yes.
- Do you have a favorite song? - Anything by the Goo Goo Dolls.
- I what? From the movie? - Right.
My fault.
- Yeah.
ALL: Do, a deer a female deer Re, a drop of golden sun Mi, a name I call myself Fa, a long, long way to run - Hit it, Bill.
- Take it, Bill! [MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
How long is this tour exactly? BOTH: Do, a deer, a female deer.
- I got it.
- BOTH: Re, a drop of golden - I got it.
Do.
- BOTH: Sun.
I get the feeling Bill does not want to sing this song.
Ah, yeah, you picked up on that? All right, Henry, you want me to sing? - I'd like you to sing.
- Are you ready? Hit it.
What? [LAUGHTER.]
Very good.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Move over, Terry Bradshaw.
There's another yodeler in town.
Yo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-ho.
Hoo.
George, that was fabulous.
- [PLASTIC CLANKS.]
- Ow, [BLEEP.]
.
Now, that's the sound of music.
That was really funny.
- I'm bleeding.
- Okay.
Oh, my goodness.
Look at this.
Man alive.
They got snakes in Munich? [ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
Is that beautiful? Very Alpy.
- Wow.
- George.
George.
I've seen it on film, and now we're seeing it in real life.
I would be inspired to break into song.
You would? Absolutely.
Julie Andrews stands in the middle of this field, this very field, and spins and sings.
I can't sing, but I can spin, so I'm spinning.
[DRAMATIC DRUMROLL.]
The hills are alive ["THE SOUNDS OF MUSIC" PLAYS.]
With the sound of music.
Ah.
- [GRUNTS.]
- Am I doing it? The hills are alive.
Is it like the movie? I'm okay! With the feeling of flowers.
Hello, buttercups.
- [BLOWS.]
- [CRIES.]
The hills are alive.
Did Julie get this dizzy? Come get me, Henry.
The sound of music.
- Where's Terry? - Where's Terry? [COWS MOOING.]
Terry Bradshaw here in the Bavarian Alps, and can't get away from good, old cattle.
Look at them coming.
Here.
That's a Simmental.
That thing gorgeous? [COW MOOS.]
Terry? All right, guys, you're on TV.
Got to go.
Bye.
Whoo! [LAUGHS.]
- Ugh.
- Yee-haw! ["THE LONELY GOATHERD" PLAYS.]
[IMITATES YODELING.]
How do I stop that? - [ECHOING.]
- How do I stop that? [LAUGHING AND TRILLING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[PANTING.]
I hope we don't have to do it again.
My legs aren't what they used to be.
No, I understand that, yeah.
- We're all in that position.
- Yeah.
Every once in a while, my knees talk to me.
- Really? What do they say? - Sit down.
- You all right? - Yeah.
[YAWNS.]
I never thought we would get back together again and be on this incredible trip a second time.
I never thought it'd be five of us.
I thought four for sure.
Four for sure? Do you realize how many people can't believe that I know you guys? Jeff, they don't know who you are.
But really, they can't believe I know you and George and Henry.
I couldn't wait for this to happen again.
I hoped it would happen.
I really missed you guys, all of you.
Yeah, we missed you.
- Except me.
Except me.
- No, no.
Hey, hey Do you know why - You know what you missed? - Hold it, you know Wait a minute, no, you hold it.
I saw you do this marvelous job for the NFL.
- Yeah.
- I called you three times to say how good you were.
- I didn't take your calls.
- I know.
Terry jokes around a lot, and, you know, we have this clash of titans.
Do you realize that you're in a helpless position? You can't get up without my help.
- Yeah, but I - You can't get up, I'll bet.
I'll roll and eventually get up.
Not really.
Deep down, Terry loves me.
Terry loves me.
Terry loves me not.
Terry loves me.
Terry loves me not? Bill? What was Lincoln like? [DRAMATIC STING.]
[EAGLE SCREECHES.]
[ROUSING GERMAN MUSIC.]
Oh, biscuits, look at the Alps.
Oh, wow.
There's the snow.
Get out of here.
Wow.
There are the Alps, thrust up by Mother Nature.
Boy, ain't that something.
I'm telling you, I'm blown away with this thing, Germany.
I love Germany.
Look at how beautiful our earth is.
I've never seen anything like this.
Wow, this is extraordinary.
The Alps are one of the great wonders of the world.
I've become interested in mountain climbing.
I read a lot of books about people who were climbing.
It's wild.
People die and fall off.
[MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS.]
Old Buzzkill Bill strikes again.
[ZANY UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[HORN HONKS.]
We finish our tour at the Zugspitze, the tallest mountain in Germany.
You can climb over the mountain.
- Really? Right into it? - Maybe not these guys.
[LAUGHS.]
- Check it out.
- What? - Ski lift.
- Holy [BLEEP.]
.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Zugspitze.
I do not want to get on a gondola.
We're going all the way up there.
Oh boy.
[SIGHS.]
I don't remember agreeing to this.
[DRAMATIC WESTERN MUSIC.]
It looked like worms! I will take your arm and rip it out of your shoulder.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
No, get that thing away from me.
Four Super Bowls, and he's afraid of snakes.
Let's get out of there! How high is this thing? Higher than the Empire State Building.
- Here's the glass floor.
- Look down.
Oh.
Crazy William Shatner! You got to have faith.
What faith I had I lost because of you.
How many times have you heard me say, "I don't like heights.
I don't want anything to do with heights"? The wind swings the gondola.
How long is the ride up there? A half an hour to 45 minutes.
When the wind sways it, we go slowly.
- You're just scaring me.
- Yeah, he's a bully.
Whoo.
Not one of my favorite things here.
It's gonna be great.
What are you so afraid of? Look, it's very secure.
- All of us are getting on this? - This is gonna be great.
I saw this on "Ninja Warrior.
" Jeff, you shouldn't play up here.
Safety's for nerds, dude.
[GRUNTS.]
And exactly what is our safety net here? The safety net is when you fall, roll.
Please don't say that.
Do you get nervous when I do this? - Hey! - You shouldn't do that.
You shouldn't do that.
Jeff, you're about to meet my two German friends, Hansel and Gretel.
- What's this do? - I'm not playing, Jeff.
You better sit down this time.
Why? Risk of being my fourth comeback.
[LAUGHTER.]
Wait, I'm gonna get a title shot just like that? That's right.
[MACHINERY CLANKS.]
Uh-oh, we're moving.
[ZANY MUSIC.]
The thing will begin to sway.
Oh, boy, this is terrible.
I have to tell you something.
I deeply respect that Terry's afraid of heights, and are you going to be a good boy in that gondola? You're asking me not to take advantage of the situation.
What was that you said about me the other day? - [FLOOR CLANKS.]
- Bill.
Wha oh, hey, Bill, don't do that.
This isn't the old days when things were dangerous.
Look at how great this is.
Hey, don't do that, seriously, now.
Seriously.
You're not alone on this thing.
In in 185-mile-an-hour winds it's safe, just swings a little.
You've never heard of a gondola falling? Yes.
Yes, but so rarely.
Oh, my God, we're coming into a rock.
Look at this rock we're coming Look whoa gondola.
Oh, [BLEEP.]
.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Did you see that? I can't believe Bill, Old Shatner's acting like that.
George, I'm with you here, bud.
This is No way to play, huh? Bill likes to poke the buttons.
You got to get off first, 'cause if you're the last one off, it begins to move and sway.
Bill is an 86-year-old 8-year-old.
- We made it.
- Not yet.
It's got to dock.
He will find out that if he pushes this too far, I will take him out.
And run.
Go, now! Go, now! We're on top of the mountain.
- Ooh, this is beautiful.
- Oh, my God.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
Oh! That hurt! - [YODELING.]
- [WHIP CRACKING.]
I just whipped myself.
Oh, my God, look what you did.
[BIRD SCREECHES.]
[ROUSING DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Come on, we're going to the top.
We never got to the top of Mount Fuji.
We saw Mount Fuji.
Walking up to Mount Fuji.
No, no, no, we're gonna go look at Mount Fuji.
We're gonna look at Mt.
Fuji.
- Is that beautiful? - That is beautiful.
This time we get to the top of the highest mountain in all of Germany.
Oh, my.
This is the top, guys.
- Oh, my gosh.
- This is where I wanted to hit.
Wow, isn't this extraordinary? Bavarian Alps.
Isn't it beautiful? We're on top of the mountain.
- Oh, this is beautiful.
- Wow.
Oh, my God.
I don't know much about the Bavarian Alps.
- We know that.
- No, no, keep going.
Keep going.
How far across are these Alps? Several hundred miles, but they're thousands of miles in length.
We can see 360 degree panoramic view of four countries.
Isn't this extraordinary? Occasionally we have a serious moment, and this is my serious moment.
And you know Amazing Oh, no, don't, don't.
- Grace - No, no, Terry, Terry, God.
- How sweet - Oh, Terry.
BOTH: The sound - Bill, come join us.
- Terry, God.
For God's sake, shut up.
- That saved - That saves saved BOTH: A wretch like me This is the most beautiful thing you can possibly see, and nobody's paying attention.
I don't understand.
Austria.
That means Austria, "achtung.
" [CHIMES DING.]
This is nature in the raw.
Look at the spectacular, uh, buildings there goes a bird.
- Whoa.
- It's flying into Austria.
At 10,000 feet, these crows - God, you talk a lot.
- Are you listening to me? What's the matter with them? Don't come near me.
- One picture, please? - All right, one picture.
Thank you.
Secretly, no matter how he complains, Hey, guys, I'm a kind human being.
He loves this.
Who knew? This is an amazing adventure, and this is only the beginning of our trip.
You know what? I'm terrified, but I wouldn't come up here with anyone but you.
That's nice of you to say.
[ROUSING POP MUSIC.]
- Wow.
- Whoa.
Here we are.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God.
You know, I have to say that I was a little nervous about getting out on the road again.
Were we going to be as tight as we were on the first trip? - See if you can hit me.
- Oh, this is trouble.
Come on.
Come on, try me.
And you realize that no matter how much time there has been since we saw each other Whoa! Oh! That hurt! Nothing has changed.
Oh, lord.
I did not do that.
Bill! [LAUGHING.]
Maybe it is the altitude talking, but I love these guys.
I live my life Hey, how you doing? I'm from America.
Here we go again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[CHEERING.]
Yo-leedel-oh-leedel-oh-lo-lee.
We are wonderful friends.
This is amazing.
People, this is gorgeous.
I can't handle this.
Yes, you can.
You know, we all became friends - We did.
- As a result of this journey, both the great beauty and the hardship and all.
- Yes.
- And we love each other.
- Yes.
Thank you.
- [KISSES.]
And I love you.
I love you.
'Cause you're a dear, dear man.
Hey, George, there's nothing to worry about.
I don't trust you snowballers.
- Oh! - [LAUGHS.]
- Bt you know what they say.
- What's that? - Better late than never.
- Oh.
Revenge! [LAUGHS.]
[BIRD SCREECHES.]