Big City Greens (2018) s02e01 Episode Script

[theme music playing]
One, two!
One, two, three, four!
La la la la la la la la ♪
La la la la la ♪
Look alive, Cricket.
The boss, Ms. Cho,
will be here any minute.
Okay-doke.
What do you think
Ms. Cho's big announcement's
gonna be, Gloria?
I don't know. Maybe I'll get
a competent co-worker for once.
Unh! I, for one,
hope we get some new T.P.
This one-ply
is chafing my heinie.
-[door opens]
-[Ms. Cho grunts]
Oh, hey, Ms. Cho.
-[grunting]
-Hey! Ho! Hi!
Thank you for the flattering
introduction, Ms. Cho!
My name is Donny Tinselton.
I'm a retired
movie director,
and a close chum
of Miriam's.
Ahem. I mean, Ms. Cho.
We used to work
in the pictures together.
And what a dazzling star
you still are.
-[flirty grunts]
-Hoh-hoo-hoo!
[uncomfortable groans]
Anyhoo, I'm here to shoot
a commercial for Big Coffee!
[both] A commercial?
Big Coffee is about to start
selling jelly doughnuts,
and we want the world
to know.
I want this commercial
to look natural,
so I need actors
who look plain and simple.
Like a rock.
Lucky for me,
you two fit the bill!
Take a look at the script
for me, would ya?
Try not to be too intimidated
by me, Cricket.
In college, I took an acting class.
Okay, little boy, try the first line.
Okay, let's see here.
[clears throat]
We now carry
scrumptious jelly doughnuts.
Oh, that's dynamite!
And your line is,
"Made fresh every day."
Okay. [dramatically] Made
No. No, wait.
[British accent] Made
Ugh! Maaaade ♪
[sinister] Made
Let me stop you
right there.
That was terrible.
You're out.
However, you
-you've got "it."
-Wow!
I'm gonna give you
both lines,
because just look at ya!
Those overalls? Dynamo!
No shoes? No problem!
And that hair!
It's your statement piece!
Son, you've got kapowie!
-Kablowie?
-Kapowie!
Kazowie?
Kapowie!
Oh. Is that good?
Is that good?
It's the best!
It's what sets you apart
from these other clowns.
Yeah, I'm just gonna
go on a break.
Okay, bye, Gloria.
Well, I could just
jump right over the moon!
Cricket Green, a star!
Great. Now, be back here
by 5 P.M.
to shoot the commercial,
and be camera-ready.
Ha! You kiddin' me?
This kapowie's
always camera-ready.
-[door opens and closes]
-What a firecracker that one is.
[suspenders creak]
Who's this entering
from stage left?
Another child!
Yes, I heard
through the grapevine
you were shootin'
a commercial?
May I be in it?
Why, sure!
We need background actors
to fill the cafe.
You will be
Girl Eating Doughnut.
Hmm, I accept.
You will not be disappointed.
'Scuse me. I must
get into character.
You really don't have to!
She's not your kid,
is she?
[funky music]
Kapowie!
-Hey, I like your style, kid.
-Me, too.
Dang heavy mirror.
Smooth moves, kid!
Cwicket, high-five!
[both]
La-la-la-la-la!
You're the man,
Cwicket Gween!
And you have excellent taste.
[TV announcer]
Great news!
Milk Hat now comes
in a full gallon!
Now you can enjoy
even more cool frosty milk
on the go!
Thanks, Milk Hat!
Should I get a Milk Hat?
Hmm
Ha ha! Y'all better get used
to this view,
'cause this little country boy
just got cast
for a Big City commercial,
and it's all because I got
kapowie!
Kapowie? Better put
some ointment on that.
My boy, a genuine star!
Yep! Now,
if you'll excuse me,
I'm off to get camera-ready,
which is fancy talk
for gettin' purty.
I'm back!
Tilly, you picked up doughnuts!
Well, aren't you
the sweetest-- Ow!
These doughnuts
are a part
of my creative process.
I will eat as many
as it takes to become
[dramatic music]
Girl Eatin' Doughnuts.
Oh! Ooh!
Ow!
Lookin' good, Mr. Kapowie.
-[doink]
-Huh?
Grr!
Well
nothin' a little mouth grease
can't fix.
There he is.
Mmm!
You want
to be difficult, huh?
-[buzzing]
-Fine!
All right, easy, Cricket.
Patience and precision
[dramatic music]
[doink]
Yaaaaah!
Uh, Tilly, what are you doin'?
Tryin' to find my character.
Feed me my line, please.
Uh, I thought
you didn't have any lines.
You mean a doughnut?
While I'm still
within the scene, please.
Ahh! Mmm!
Mmm!
No! That was all wrong!
My character would
never bite so recklessly.
Hand me another. Ah!
Hello there, family.
You wouldn't know
where we, uh-- [cough]--
keep the glue, would ya?
Why do you need
the glue, son?
[laughs] Oh, you know,
crafts and such.
Oop! Heh heh heh.
Son, you're sweatin'
an awful lot.
Let me turn the fan on.
-Dad, wait!
-[roaring]
Nooooo!
[guffawing]
Don't look at me!
No one look at me!
I think it looks
real good, son!
Ma, did you really
have to laugh that hard?
Yes.
[panting] Ooh!
Hey! Watch where
you're going, twerp!
Wha-- ? But that guy
liked my style before!
-[thump]
-Smooth moves, kid.
[groaning]
Cwicket, high-five!
Benny, you do not know
how much I need this--
Two swow, gotta go.
But I'm never too "swow."
Aah! Without my perfect hair,
I don't have any kapowie.
I gotta get my hair fixed
before the shoot tonight!
I need a hair professional.
[Tilly] I don't care
[munching]
how many doughnuts
I have to eat.
I will find my character!
[groans]
None of these are right.
Well, maybe
Girl Eatin' Doughnut
eats her doughnuts
like this!
[gasp]
[groans]
Don't you think you're goin'
a little overboard here, Tilly?
After all,
you are just an extra.
You think Girl Eatin' Doughnut
is just an extra?
Well, I mean yes?
Girl Eatin' Doughnut
is misunderstood,
sophisticated, and a patriot!
Are you disrespecting
a patriot?
Sir, no, sir!
Then go out there
and get me more doughnuts!
Sir, yes, sir!
[panting]
You woulda done well
in the war.
I've gots a hair emergency!
-Huh? Aah!
-Aah!
Sweet hairs above!
It's hideous!
Please, I've gotta
get this mess on my head
fixed before five!
We're not going anywhere
near that head!
You call yourselves
hair stylists?
I will take the boy!
You really gonna help me?
Yes, child, and I'll do it
free of charge.
-For you
-[music]
shall be
my greatest challenge yet.
-[disco music]
-Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Hmm
[stylist grunts]
[exhales]
Hoo!
It is done.
Aah!
I'm sorry. There's
nothing more I could do.
I should have known that
going in,
but I'm an optimist!
I'm practically bald!
I can't go out like this!
You gotta do somethin'!
Well, I might have
one other idea.
[funky music]
Wig kapowie.
[barking]
Huh! Whoa!
Oh, no! It's okay!
A little muddy, that's all!
[truck horn blaring]
Heh! It's all right.
It's still good!
[cawing]
-[ominous note]
-I'm doomed.
Rehearsal time, everyone!
Ooh! Is that a new kind
of picture camera?
How do they make it so small?
Uh, technology?
[laughing]
Technology.
Here's a nickel for that laugh.
Heh! Hey, everyone!
I'm here for the rehearsal.
-[cawing]
-Aah!
Why won't you stop
tormenting me?
Oh, there goes
the last little bit of it.
-Mmm.
-Goodness gracious me!
Where'd
your statement piece go?
Uh, no matter.
As long as you've
still got your kapowie.
Is the extra ready?
-[weakly] Ready.
-Good, good, good!
Now, remember, small boy,
your line is,
"We now carry
scrumptious jelly doughnuts
made fresh every day."
And action!
[gulp] We--
We now carry scrumpunch--
Scrimnas?
No, flumptious. Aah!
Let me try that again.
The line is, "We now carry
scrumptious jelly doughnuts
made fresh every day."
Yes, yes! I got it now!
We now carry
scrumptious smelly--
Not smelly! Not smelly!
Aah! Skip this line!
We'll come back to it!
-[groaning]
-Made fresh every spray.
Aah! Jelly doughnuts?
Jelly doughnuts!
Cut! Sorry, kid!
You used to have "it."
But now you don't got "it,"
and I need "it."
[screaming] Get it?
Just to be clear,
"it" is kapowie, right?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Now shoo!
Another child star
burns out.
What a shame.
What a shame!
Oh! And now I've worked
myself up into a tizzy!
Towel girl!
Why, thank you.
Hey, I like your look.
-What's your name?
-I'm Gloria.
I auditioned this morning
and you rejected me?
Well, things have changed,
and we need a star.
-You're back, baby!
-[gasping]
[sigh]
Well, I blew it, Tilly.
I used to be
such a confident, cool guy,
and now that
I've lost my hair,
I'm nothing.
No, Cricket, that's not true.
If there's one thing
I've learned today,
it's that it doesn't matter
if a doughnut is glazed
or powdered
or "covered in sprinkles,"
they've always got jelly
on the inside!
What are you talkin'
about doughnuts for?
Talk about me!
[groans] All right,
we don't have much time,
so listen close.
You're the doughnut,
Cricket.
The jelly is your kapowie.
Your appearance doesn't matter.
It's what's on the inside
that counts.
Now, if you'll
excuse me-- [urp]
I'm the doughnut?
[gasp]
I'm the doughnut!
All right, let's get started.
Miriam, be my muse
once more
-for old times' sake.
-[flirty grunts]
All right! Go time!
Action!
[spotlight echoes]
-We now carry--
-Fresh off the presses!
-I gotta say somethin'!
-Seriously?
Say, point that camera
down at me, would ya?
Hup! Ah!
All this time,
I thought my hair
is what gave me kapowie,
but I now realize
my hair doesn't define me.
I may not have the topping
you all know and love,
but I am full
of the same kapowie jelly
I've always had!
If you cut me open,
it'll all flow out!
-[clapping]
-There he is!
That's the firecracker
I met this morning!
You've got
your kapowie back!
And now you can go back
to being the towel girl!
Isn't that great, Gloria?
Ugh! Whatever.
Now what do you say
we get this ball rolling, huh?
Lights, camera, action!
[Donny] Are you in the mood
for some friendly service,
hot coffee, and perhaps being
in the presence of an angel?
Well, come on down to Big Coffee!
We now carry
scrumptious jelly doughnuts
made fresh every day.
[Donny] So come on down
to Big Big Big Big Big Coffee!
Am I gettin' paid for this?
Okay, family,
last night, I had a dream.
And in that dream,
I had a vision.
[all] Uh-huh?
People always come to us
for vegetables,
but why don't we go to them?
I give you
Green Family Farms Vegetable delivery!
Good idea, boy!
And I've already got
a bunch of orders,
-so let's hit the road.
-[clank]
Dad, I think
the mirror fell off.
-It's fine!
-[clank]
-[straining]
-Are you sure the truck
can handle
all these deliveries?
What are you talkin' about?
This old girl has weathered
many a storm.
Plus the Kludge is
the only vehicle we have,
so it's gonna have to work.
-[grunting]
-[engine grinding]
[backfire]
And we're off!
-[horns honking]
-[drivers shouting]
Your car stinks
and you stink!
Get off the road!
Dad, these other cars
seem kinda angry at us.
Quiet, Cricket.
Daddy's concentrating.
How long is this gonna take?
Because I think my spine
is resetting.
And I can't get
these dang seatbelts to click!
-[Bill] Ooh, pothole!
-Aah! Oof!
Dad, this truck is
literally falling apart!
Whoa! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Gosh, don't stand so hard, Cricket!
Oh, hey, look, we're here!
BigTech headquarters!
[Cricket] Whoa, Remy told me
about this place!
They make all kinds
of cool stuff!
-[Bill] Aaaand made it!
-[truck wheezing]
[Cricket, Tilly, and Gramma
gasping]
Hello! Green Family Farms!
Fresh vegetable delivery!
Did anyone order vegetables?
-Yes, me!
-Huh?
Hello. I'm Gwendolyn Zapp!
The incredibly wealthy,
incredibly smart CEO of BigTech!
-Go home, boy!
-[robot voice] Bark-bark.
I could end
all the world's problems,
but instead I choose to
invent things like Robo-pants!
Ms. Zapp, we need to do
a major recall on the Robo-pants!
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
So where are those local
organic vegetables I ordered?
Oh, right! [chuckles]
Let me just get 'em out of my truck.
-[angelic music]
-[stammering]
A Kludge!
I had one of these
when I was a teen!
Yeah, she's a classic,
but she's definitely lost
some of her charm.
She's perfect. Just perfect.
Have you Greens, by chance,
heard of the Vroom?
It's my latest invention!
[female computer voice]
Hello, Green family.
Wow! That's
a good lookin' vehicle!
It's more than just pretty!
I've heard of this!
It's got everything!
Like a Cray-Cray button
that makes the car go
so fast,
I heard it blew
a guy's lips off!
That's right, but we gave
that man a pair of Robo-lips,
and now he can say
any word in the dictionary!
-Except "lawsuit."
-[Greens] Wow!
Oh, what's that, brain?
Another genius idea?
Hey! How about if I give you
a brand new Vroom!
-[kids gasp]
-Really?
In exchange
for your old Kludge!
Trade in the Kludge?
She has been acting up lately.
What do you think, kids?
-What? Say yes! Say yes!
-Dad, it's a robo-car!
If you're thinking about this
for more than five seconds,
you're an idiot.
Well, okay!
Take good care of her, will ya?
You Greens are
out of this wooooorld!
She's funny.
[Vroom plays
soothing startup chime]
I am your new Vroom.
It is my job to serve you.
Here, let me take
those off your hands.
Oh!
Vegetables loaded.
Well, I've never seen
a car do that before.
[all] Whoa!
Three passengers loaded.
Scanning
for fourth passenger.
Aaaah! The Vroom hit me!
Aah! Pfft! Just kiddin'!
Scared ya, huh?
[Vroom]
Problem child detected.
[laughing]
-Wowee!
-Look at that!
Hello, Green family.
What would you
like to call me?
Gosh. I've never had
to name a car before,
so I want it to be good--
Dr. Bubblebutt!
Dr. Bubblebutt!
My name is
Uh, no, I'd like to change
the name, please.
I cannot fulfill your request.
Name locked forever.
This car sure
is full of surprises.
Laser scan initiating.
What's that--
Aah! Kids, help!
It's trying to kill me!!
-[chime]
-[Vroom] Scan complete.
Mirrors adjusted.
Also, I noticed
an impacted molar.
Well, now that you
mention it, I--
[muffled exclamations]
Hey, now that's pretty neat!
You're welcome.
This car's incredible!
[chuckling] You're right!
Now, who's ready
to deliver some veggies?
-Whoo-hoo!
-Yeah!
Whoa! Hey!
Is that guy talking to us?
No, an awesome dude like that
wouldn't be trying
to get my attention.
Yes, he is!
Open the window!
Uh, can I help you?
Cool car!
You must be a cool guy!
Yeah! I guess I am!
-Cool.
-See ya, friend!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Super cool!
Hey, Dr. Bubblebutt,
you got any games in there?
Fussy baby detected
in front seat.
-Fussy baby?
-Attempting to pacify.
How dare you!
I'm not a ba-- huh?
Oooh!
Uh, yeah,
I'm a fussy baby!
Gaga goo-goo!
-Wow!
-Wow!
Sure are a lot more seat settings
than the Kludge.
The Kludge only had
one setting: awful!
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm about to go hard
on the massage setting.
-[vibrating]
-Oh, yeah!
Ohh, baby!
Tilly, look at how relaxed I am!
Yes. Well, this list is
certainly a buffet of delights.
And I will gorge on them all.
[chuckles] Let's try
this one.
Ooh! Very nice.
[voice shaking]
Or this one.
Or this one.
Not this one!
Or this one!
Oh. Cute, but unnecessary.
Hey, how 'bout
some music-- Ow!
Is something wrong?
Just looking
for the radio knob.
Where are all the knobs?
Oh, I use "air knobs."
Just pretend
to turn a knob here!
Huh, weird. But okay
Here? I-I don't know
what I'm doing
No, not that one!
[driver] Aah!
Oh, jeez! The Kludge
never would've done that.
Dr. Bubblebutt, you're a little
more complicated than my old truck.
You're doing great.
Ya know what else
would be great?
Some more milk
with these cookies!
How do you do it?
Is it here or--
Unsafe levels
of button pressing detected.
Baby on lockdown.
Huh? Whoa!
Frazzum frazzum thing!
-[Gramma murmuring]
-[Tilly] Aah! Aah!
-Aah!
-[beeps]
Finally, I've done it.
I've gone through
all the seat options.
I can rest now.
-[chime]
-Huh?
[Vroom] Seat Options
Volume II loading
Oh, no! More choices?
The Kludge would never
overwhelm me like this!
-Uh!
-[ping]
-Hmm?
-Waffle mode activated.
Oh, no, no, no! No!
Gramma! Help!
[relaxed murmuring]
[Bill] Aw, just look
at this traffic!
It's backed up
all across the bridge!
I hope we're not late
for our delivery.
Hit the Cray-Cray button!
Hit the Cray-Cray button!
-Nnnn!
-Bad baby!
Baby now under car arrest.
[lullaby playing]
Hey, Dr. Bubblebutt,
I don't suppose there's anything
you can do
about this traffic?
At this rate, we're gonna
be late for our delivery!
I am here to serve.
Initiating magnetic wheels.
[humming, clicking]
Huh? Whoa!
[screaming]
[Vroom] Hang on!
[Greens screaming]
-Aaaaah!
-Aah aah aah!
Sensing baby in distress.
Initiating lullaby.
-Rock-a-bye baby ♪
-Aaaaaaagh!
-On the treetop ♪
-Aaaaaaagh!
When the wind blows ♪
The cradle will drop ♪
Ah! [gasp] Tilly!
-[sizzling]
-I am but moments away
from a golden,
crispy exterior.
Hold on, sweetie!
I'm comin', I--
[sleepily]
I'm in a prison of relaxation!
Gotta save Tilly!
Aah!
-[screen shatters]
-Waffle is served.
I'm alive! Thanks, Gramma!
Sure thing, sweetie.
Arriving at destination
in three two
-One!
-Whoa!
Hey, Greens, thanks a lot.
That was fast!
-Also, cool car!
-Uh
[Vroom] Delivery complete,
with time to spare!
[party horns]
Ice cream?
This really is the perfect car.
The seats are real comfortable.
Uh-huh
highly adjustable.
Yeah. [slurp]
She's perfect.
Ah, dang it!
You're too perfect!
Is there anything
you can't do?
You sound stressed.
Activating therapist mode.
Do you want to talk about it?
[sigh] Yeah.
Look, you're obviously
an incredible car.
You don't creak or leak,
and you get us there
in a timely fashion.
But I still can't get over
missing my truck.
I mean, I've had the Kludge
since I was a young man.
She held strong
through thick and thin!
Heck, the Kludge was
practically a member of our family.
And you don't get rid
of a family member,
no matter how old
and leaky they get!
-[kids] Yeah!
-I'm holdin' you to that.
I'm sorry, Dr. Bubblebutt.
You're a great car,
but you're not our car.
Now take us back to the Kludge!
[Vroom] I am here to serve.
Hey, Gwendolyn? We're coming
back to get my truck!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
You see,
I'm taking your truck
to my vacation home on Mars!
Mars? The planet?
Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh.
Look, I'm incredibly rich
and incredibly crazy,
and that makes
for one heck of a combo.
Also, I'm leaving
in T-minus 30 seconds. Bye!
She's taking
the Kludge to Mars!
-The planet?
-That's what I said!
She's leaving in 30 seconds!
We'll never make it!
You mean we have
to go incredibly fast
in an incredibly
short amount of time?
Oh, gosh, okay.
Go ahead and do it!
Thank you, Daddy!
[screaming]
Aaaah!
-Aaah!
-Aaah!
laughing]
Aah! My lips!
-There it is!
-[screech]
-We're just in time!
-Go, go, go!
-[Vroom] Bill.
-Huh?
Goodbye. I hope to one day
be part
of a family like yours.
You will, Dr. Bubblebutt.
I'm sure of it.
-Come on, Dad!
-Come on!
Aah! What?
Hey! My family's in there!
All systems go!
My Mars vay-cay
officially starts now!
Oh, my gosh,
what am I gonna do!
Bill. Get in.
Huh? What's going on?
The extra weight
is throwing me off course!
-Dad!
-Hang on!
[Greens] Whoaaa!
[Cricket] We're headed straight
for Big City!
[screaming]
How are we gonna get
out of this one?
Bill. You have helped me
understand
that families must stick
together.
Now, let me help you.
-After all, I am here to serve.
-Whoaaa!
Yay, Dad! What?
[Greens] Aaaaaah!
[Vroom]
Goodbye, Greens!
[Gwendolyn]
Mars here I come!
Have fun on Mars,
Dr. Bubblebutt!
We did it!
The Kludge is back!
Oh, family, I love ya,
and the Kludge, too!
[Kludge gurgling]
I love you, toooooo
Oh, my gosh,
the Kludge can talk?
No, no. It's
just her leakin' oil.
[disappointed] Ohhh!
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got
Bit by a hundred flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Bit by a frog
Got a rash on my leg ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters
Between seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪