Breaking Bad s02e01 Episode Script

What is this? It's blue.
We used a different chemical process, but it is every bit as pure.
It may be blue, but it's the bomb.
Tight, tight, tight.
Yeah.
Blue, yellow, pink, whatever, man, just keep bringing me that.
You're all right.
We're gonna make a lot of money together.
Just remember who you're working for.
What did you say? I'm just saying, they gotta know that they're working for you.
Like they don't already know that? Are you saying that they're stupid? No, I'm just saying.
Okay, so you're not saying that they're stupid? So I don't understand.
Are you saying that I'm stupid? Is that it? Is that what you're doing? Tuco.
Tuco.
Hey, why don't we all just relax, huh? Heisenberg says relax.
I'm relaxed.
I'm relaxed.
I'm rela-- Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up.
Okay, Heisenberg.
Next week.
Adjusting for inflation.
Good state college, adjusting for inflation say, $45,000 a year.
Two kids, four years of college, $360,000.
Remaining mortgage on the home, Home equity line, 30,000.
That's 137,000.
Cost of living, food, clothing, utilities say, 2 grand a month.
I mean, that should put a dent in it, anyway.
Twenty-four K a year, provide for, say, 10 years.
That's $240,000.
Plus 360, plus 137.
Seven thirty-seven.
Seven hundred and thirty-seven thousand.
That's what I need.
That is what I need.
You and I both clear about 70 grand a week.
That's only 10 and half more weeks.
Call it 11.
Eleven more drug deals, and always in a public place from now on.
It's doable.
Definitely doable.
No, no.
Stop, stop, stop.
Heisenberg! What the hell? What's wrong with him? What's the matter with you? You can't take an ass-beating, bitch? -Oh, damn, Tuco.
-Shut up! There's no pulse.
-Do something.
-Do something? He needs an ambulance.
He needs a hospital.
Do something! You're smart, right? Do that-- Do that thing.
No, there's not-- There's nothing.
Breathe into his mouth.
No, they don't teach that anymore.
It doesn't work.
You, come here.
Breathe into his mouth.
No.
Get rid of him.
Look, Tuco, we can't do him like that, man.
Buzzards and rats and all that.
I'm just saying, you know? It's not very Christian.
That sounds like arguing.
Gonzo, hurry up.
What's the big hurry? Oh, I.
I just think we're done here.
Oh, yeah? You're done.
Hey, I'm back here.
Hello? Are already married-- Hello? Thank you to our viewers-- Hey.
The crash happened as rush hour began around 8 a.
m.
Walt? Didn't you hear me? Walt.
Walt.
-Hey.
-Hey yourself.
What, you can't answer when I'm calling you? Are you okay? Great.
New hat? Yeah.
I got some chicken at Albertson's.
Do you want me to heat some up for you? But they can occasionally adapt to other local areas lik e airports, golf courses-- Where've you been? What is? What are you doing? Okay.
You know what? I've got all this crap on my face.
Let me clean up first, okay? You know, Walter Junior's gonna be home any minute, so.
Okay.
Yeah, just.
Okay.
Enough.
Hold up.
Stop it.
Stop it! I know you're scared and you're angry and frustrated.
And I know none of this is fair.
But you cannot take it out on me.
Hey, I'm home.
Oh, we are dead.
Dead, man.
Ruto or rute or however the hell you-- -This is conjecture.
-This is conjecture? -Conjecture isn't helping.
-Conjecture--? -We need to state the facts.
-Okay, fine.
Facts, then.
Fact A: My phone rang eight times last night.
Dead air, hang ups every time.
Second fact: Like 3 in the morning I saw that Caddy of his cruising my neighbourhood.
If he wanted to kill us, he would've at the junkyard.
What is that, conjecture? Are you basing that on that he's got a normal, healthy brain or something? Did you not see him beat a dude to death for, like, nothing? And that way-- That way he just kept staring at us saying, "You're done.
" "You're done"? You know what that means? I will tell you what that means.
That means exactly how it sounds, yo.
All right.
We are witnesses.
We are loose ends.
Right now, Tuco's thinking, "Yeah, hey they cook good meth, but can I trust them?" What happens when he decides " no"? No.
It is him or us.
You understand? It is him or us! -How would you do it? -What do you mean, how? Specifically, how would you do it? Step by step.
All right.
Say we set up one last sale.
This is providing he doesn't decide to waste us before then.
Every time we bring in a new batch, he always tests the product, right? So as his head is down, you know, giving it a snort, just: So three shots? -Three shots or, I don't know, two.
-Wait, is it two, or is it three? -Two would probably work, I guess.
-Okay, two shots.
Two in the chest, in the face? I'm just trying to understand how this works.
Okay.
All right, we'll put a pin in that.
But by now, the big guy, Gonzo -he's probably coming at you, right? -Yeah.
-You turn toward him.
-Yeah, just wheel on him-- How many shots for him? He's a big guy.
How many shots does that take? -I don't know.
Three shots.
-Three shots.
Okay, Tuco and Gonzo.
Two men down.
Now, is there anyone else there? I mean, Tuco is usually with someone else, right? Maybe even a couple of guys.
His dealers, his posse.
All right.
So we'll put a pin in that one too.
At this point, how many shots fired? You've gotta be running low.
How many bullets does that gun take? It's not-- How can you suggest that we kill a man and you can't even open the gun? -It's not that easy, is it? -Hey, man, Walt, you did it.
Yeah.
Call Skyler.
Hey, there.
You've reached Walt, Skyler and Walter, Jr.
We can't come to the phone right now, so please leave us a message.
Well, aren't you early bird, up and out already? The big lug and I are gonna go try that new restaurant over by UNM tonight so let me know if you guys wanna hang.
Listen to me.
" Hang.
" Walt Jr.
will be proud.
I know the lingo.
I'm still hip.
It's Chinese.
The restaurant.
I don't know, I just feel like Chinese.
Do you think that people in China ever just feel like American? You know, and they go out and get little takeout boxes with mashed potatoes and meat loaf and try and figure out how to use the little knives and forks? I wonder if that ever happens.
All right, I'll let you go.
So call me.
Skyler didn't pick up? Obviously she's not home.
Baby.
Baby, wait up.
Hey, what was that about Chinese? Dinner tonight.
That new place.
-How late they serve? -I don't know.
You got Dave at 8.
-Not tonight.
-Yeah, you do.
Remember? No, that's Thursday.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's Thursday.
Remember how at the last minute they changed it? They were gonna charge us a penalty.
Look, baby, you only got six more sessions.
And I'm doing them, Hank.
I said I would do them, and I'm doing them.
I can't help it if you got your days of the week wrong.
Look out.
Sorry, Mr.
Schrader.
Look, it's.
You know, it's just.
Oh, boy.
I.
I think Dave is really helping you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
She's.
Hey! Hey, where's my phone call? Hits two in the sand, two in the forest -and then he says, "Give me a four.
" -Hey, Gomez.
Gomez? What do you got for me? Come on.
Chop-chop.
Good morning to you too.
A.
P.
D.
sent this over.
This was about eight or 10 days ago.
-You know Southwest Aniline, right? -Yeah, off the 25? The place smells like feet.
This is them.
Check this out.
-Holy shit.
What was that? -Thermite.
So they tell me.
Burns about 5000 degrees.
Kind of stuff you see on a James Bond movie.
Nice.
Guys who know their trade.
Wait.
I take that back.
What, they didn't think about stealing a hand truck? Hey, try rolling it, morons.
It's a barrel.
It rolls.
Jesus.
-So, what'd they get? -Methylamine, 30 gallons.
P2P? They're cooking old school biker meth.
Who the hell still does that? All the old-timers I know are either dead or in prison.
Pseudo's in short supply so these two make do by changing up the formula.
That and the thermite I'd say these two know their chemistry.
-But ranking them as burglars? -Shit.
I wouldn't trust these two to break into the Special Olympics.
They got book learning but no street skills.
Maybe they're college kids.
Chem students trying to make a big score.
Yeah, maybe.
I tell you, 30 gallons of precursor.
That big a score, they're gonna wind up stepping on some toes.
Tell you what, they better pray it's us who catches up to them and not those boys from Juarez.
Your daughter wants out.
Hey there.
You've reached Walt, Skyler and Walter Jr.
We can't come to the phone, so please leave us a message.
Hey, it's me.
Thought I'd try you earlier before you go out and, you know, face the day.
I'm realising now it probably tak es you a little longer to get to the phone owing to the extra baby weight-- Hey, sweetie.
Walt, did you spend the entire night out here? No.
No, no.
Well, not all of it.
Oh, yeah.
I did have a touch of-- My stomach, you know.
I knew I was gonna be up and down, so I just didn't wanna wake you.
-How would he know where I live? -You sure it was Tuco? Who else could it be? -Did you ever tell him my name? -No.
Did you tell him where I live or anything? -No.
-What about Gonzo, or the dead one? -Did you tell them anything? -I didn't say jack.
Okay, Tuco must've put out, like, you know, feelers.
He's got his ways and means, yo.
Sources, all right? He's closing in.
And what happens when he finds out that my brother-in-law is a DEA agent? Oh, God.
What happens then? Look, it's got five bullets.
I finally figured out how to.
Look, I just finally-- I figured it out.
I say we get a second gun, right? For you.
I mean, don't we, like, double our chances? I mean, mathematically.
I've got a better idea.
Thank God.
All right.
What is it, Mr.
White? Lay it on me.
-Beans.
-Beans? They're castor beans.
So, what are we gonna do with them? Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk? Climb it and escape? We are going to process them into ricin.
Rice and beans? Ricin.
It's an extremely effective poison.
It's toxic in small doses.
Also fairly easy to overlook during an autopsy.
All right.
-All right.
So-- -Don't touch them.
-You can get poisoned from beans? -Yes.
Back in the late '70s, ricin was used to assassinate a Bulgarian journalist.
The KGB modified the tip of an umbrella to inject a tiny pellet into the man's leg.
And we're talking about an amount not bigger than the head of a pin.
But it-- It killed him? Oh, yes.
Now we just need to figure out a delivery device and then no more Tuco.
-Hey, Sky.
-Hey, Hank.
How you doing? Is this.
This a bad time? No, come on in.
I should've called first.
I'm sorry.
What can I do for you? Maybe we ought-- You wanna sit down first? I don't know, Hank.
Depends on whether or not this is gonna be about Marie.
-Did she send you? -Hell, no.
She's barely even talking to me.
That's why I'm here, okay? Self-preservation.
Big time.
Look I know you gals have your ups and downs.
-I get it.
-Gals.
And I need to get involved like I need a second hole in my ass.
But if you could do me this huge favour and just return her phone calls.
I don't think I'm quite ready to do that yet.
Communication.
Communication, right? Back and forth.
Come on.
Sky, do this for me, please.
You can yell at her.
Just call her back.
Marie is a shoplifter, Hank.
That's right.
That baby tiara she gave me at the shower? She stole it from Gertrude Zachary's.
Yeah.
I almost got arrested when I went back to return it.
And Marie won't admit it.
She won't apologise.
Yeah.
If I thought you were gonna return it, I would have never, you know.
You knew about this.
We're working on it.
I mean, she's got this therapist, Dave.
-And I mean, Dave is really good.
-Dave's good, yeah.
But it's an ongoing process, Sky and we have gotta be understanding, you know? I mean, we gotta, you know.
We gotta support the shit out of her.
Do we? Yeah.
I need support.
Me.
The almost-40-year-old pregnant woman with the surprise baby on the way.
And the husband with the lung cancer who disappears for hours, and I don't know where he goes.
And he barely even speaks to me anymore.
With the moody son who does the same thing.
And the overdrawn checking account.
And the lukewarm water heater that leaks rusty-Iooking crap and is rotting out the floor of the utility closet and we can't even afford to fix it.
But, oh, I see.
Now I'm supposed to go, " Hank, please what can I possibly do to further benefit my spoiled, kleptomaniac, bitch sister who somehow always manages to be the centre of attention?" Because God knows she's the one with the really important problems.
Want me to take a look at that utility closet? That's all it takes? That's all it takes.
So now what? Now we arrange our next meet.
In a public place this time.
Nice and safe.
Business as usual.
And after we sell him our usual four pounds, then we'll pull this out.
" By the way, Tuco, this is a new formula we've been working on.
Care to try it?" Okay, well, what's new about it? I mean, just in case he asks.
What do we say? I don't know.
Whatever you want.
It gets the user insanely high.
I mean, how much salesmanship do we really need? That degenerate snorts anything he gets his hands on.
Okay, well, we'll just put a pin in that, then.
Anyway, within the next 48 hours, maybe 72 it'll look like natural causes.
-What, like a heart attack? -Yeah.
Or the flu, maybe.
His associates won't know any differently and we'll be in the clear.
Not if Tuco kills us first.
Just keep it down.
Hey, Hank.
What's up? Oh, hey, buddy.
You been home yet? No.
Why? Well.
Because I really screwed up.
I apologise in advance for the earful you're gonna hear from Skyler.
I was trying to get her and Marie talking again.
Big mistak e.
-I should have just kept out of it.
-Yeah, well, okay.
Me and my big mouth, I guess.
Yeah, well, that-- You know, it happens.
It's no problem.
No worries.
Yeah, well, thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
Jesus, the wives, huh? Hank, unfortunately, I really-- Oh, yeah.
Hey, man, don't let me k eep you.
Actually, I'm at work, so.
Oh, hey.
You wanna see something really freaky? -Well, I would, but-- -Seriously, Walt, this is.
You gotta check out this crime scene me and Gomie are at.
Just a second.
Hank.
Hang on.
It should be coming through right now.
Guess it could be worse, huh? Could be having a day like these two.
Couple of local bulletheads.
Guess they pissed off the wrong guy.
Walt, you there? Hey, Walt? -I'm taking this.
-No.
It's my gun.
I need it! No, you don't.
Not if you leave town.
Get out of here.
Tuco killing Gonzo means he's coming after us next.
I've.
I've gotta get home.
My family.
Skyler? Walter, Jr.
? Skyler? Hey.
Where's Walter, Jr.
? Having dinner at Louis' house.
Supposedly.
Yep.
All day, I've had the whole house to myself.
So where have you been this time? Walt? Walt? Walt, will you come in here and talk to me please? Walt! I'll be right there.
Yeah, I recognise these two knobjobs.
Known associates of a psychotic piece of shit named Tuco Salamanca.
-Guess he got tired of associating.
-Yeah.
-Hey, do you mind if I get in there? -No, go ahead.
Thanks.
The big one smells fresher.
You guys find a death wound? I see lots of blood, but no bullet holes.
Yeah.
You done taking pictures? All right.
Let's lay them out flat.
Let me get out of your way here, man.
Snap.
Damn, Ricky.
Leave something for the coroner.
Oh, this is beautiful.
Hey, someone call Jay Leno.
We got the world's dumbest criminal.
This guy wasn't murdered.
Look.
Big stuff here was moving this guy's body when the stack must have shifted.
Crushed his arm, pinned him here, and he bled out.
-Poetic justice.
Oh, I love it.
-Don't you just? Get a photo of me with this guy, all right? Old stumpy, here.
Make sure you get the stump in there.
Walt, would you talk to me, please? I don't know where to begin.
What the hell are you doing here? Get in.
Get in.
Let's go.