Clarence US (2014) s02e01 Episode Script
Lost Playground
Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on! Recess is so close, I can taste it.
Hey, what are you guys doing? Okay, I know recess is fun, but so is reading.
- It sure is.
- Y-Yeah, thank you, Jeff.
Butts in chairs till the bell rings.
Let's go! - See you after recess, Ms.
Baker.
- Yeah, yeah, have fun, Jeff.
Whoa! Seesaw, anyone? - Ooh! Me! - Whoa! Oof! Uh - Hey, Jeff.
- Uh, hi, Sumo.
Gross, gross, gross, gross! Well, don't want to let a good slippery slide go to waste.
Ha ha whoa! Hey, Clarence.
Whatcha doing? - Oh! Hi, Sumo! - Whee! If we spin fast enough we'll warp to another dimension! - Yeah! - Count me in! Light speed! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wh-o-o-o-o-o-oa! Guh! My poor baby boy! This playground is way too dangerous for these young kids.
I completely agree, Mr.
Golightly.
For years, I've been saying we should get rid of this old, cruddy equipment and replace it with something safe.
Uh, you guys, this looks serious.
Yeah, I don't like the look of this one bit.
Looks like trouble.
Big trouble.
Sorry, guys.
My dad always way overreacts.
Hey, there.
Come on.
- It's not your fault, Camden.
- Ow.
Wow.
Those guys are huge.
You guys look strong very strong.
That's a good thing.
Mm.
Mm, that's good.
Mm.
Hey, you guys think you could give me a boost? Hey! Ms.
Shoop and guys in orange shirts, listen up! You guys can't take this away from us.
This is our playground! We all have memories on this playground.
This is where Jeff overcame his fear of ants.
- Right there.
- Eee! And, Belson, this is your butt print where you sit every day and play your video games.
And this is where Rita and Dustin were kissing in secret when they thought no one was looking, but I was secretly looking.
- I was looking! - Whoo! Ooh! It's romantic! You can't take our playground! You can't take our playground! You can't take our playground! You can't take our playground! Let go of me! I'll never give up! I'll stay chained to Waaaaah! Oof! Hoo, yeah! That's right! Get rid of it! But what are we supposed to do at recess now? Quit your bellyaching.
Frankly, not a huge priority for me.
But we'll have a new playground for you soon enough.
Brand-new? Come on, you guys! The new playground's here! It's gonna be so cool.
It's gonna be uhhhh Ugh! What is this a babyground? Shh.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
- Unh.
- Unh.
Unh.
Yippee! Oh? Huh.
Oh.
- Oof! - Whee.
How are we supposed to have any fun when this thing moves super-slow?! Super-slow Slow slow That's it! We warped to a super-slow dimension! Shuh-juh-juh-juh-juh-juh! Wha-na-na-na-na-na-na! Woo-boo-boo-boo-boo! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh- nuh-nuh-nuh! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh! nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh! - This'll make us go faster.
- Yo, slowers! Check out our ultra-speedy dimension! Yeah! Yo yo yo! Surf's up! Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! Ghee-ghee! Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! Too fast.
Whuh-buh-buh! Whoa! W-W-W-Whoa! Wh-Whoa! Guh! How?! How could you let this happen again to my sweet little potato?! This is reprehensible! - Welp, he seems pretty mad.
- Eh, what are they gonna do? They already put in this lame playground.
It's not like they can take that away, too.
- Oh, poo.
- What?! It's gone! It's all gone! New playground was so young! Why, Ms.
Shoop? Why? Why do you hate playgrounds? It's for your own good! Aw, man! There ain't nothing to play with! All that's left is this pile of dirt! Dirt dirt dirt.
.
- Oh, Sumo - What? Just a pile of dirt, you say, Sumo? Think fast! Here comes the dirt! - Hey, everybody! Dirt fight! - Right.
Tickles my face.
Take that! Take this! Oh, my gosh.
Everybody! Stop! - Huh? - What? Uh, wha? Whew.
You've had a rough week.
Maybe you should just give those sweet cheeks a rest.
That's a pretty good ide Ohh! Okay, that's it! Since you've all shown that you can't play outside responsibly, this is where you'll be spending recess from now on.
This is for your own safety.
Can you put me down? You're embarrassing me.
- Your stupid two cheeks! - Unh-unh! No touching! Where do they take all this stuff, anyway? - Ryan! - I'm trying to stop this nonsense! - Ryan! - All right, we're all clear.
Dude, the door.
- Attack.
- Defense.
- Attack.
- Defense.
Guys! There's a I-I found it! We got to Just follow me! Welcome to playground heaven! Hello, old friend.
Whoa-ho! Heh! My chains! What do you guys want to start with today? The turtle races? Sand monster? Want to see if we can finally make that swing go all the way around? - Hold it! - Huh? You're not doing any of that! I'm sorry, guys.
I had no choice.
You rat! I should have finished you! Wait, wait.
What are you guys doing here? Is this still school? - Um, um, Ms.
Shoop? - Amy, what do you want? Can't we just have some fun? - Yeah.
- Fun?! This is fun to you? Sneaking out of school? When I was your age, we mended our socks while listening to the radio.
We certainly didn't play on dangerous equipment like this.
I mean, look at this.
It's all jagged and splintered and Eh uh Well, I'll be.
- Now we're married, like, forever! - Oh, Hershey.
Hey! Hershey! Get down from there! - Oh, no! Are you hurt? - Oh, I'm fine.
It was worth it.
Hmm? Hey.
I remember this.
Watch out, bad guys! Officer Reese is on the case! Hey, you! Stop right there! You're under arrest for being cute.
Outside is way too dangerous, my dear.
You're going to hurt yourself.
Oh.
Some of my best memories were made on the playground.
- Whee guh! - Son! Oww.
Well, you're just a clumsy little guy, aren't ya? - Oh, uh, dad? - Oh, shh.
Let the cheeks speak to each other.
- Aww.
Aren't they cute? - Meh.
Faster is better, Ms.
Baker.
I can handle it.
Wheeee! Ah, yes.
Uh Uh, a-a-are you okay? Brenda.
Swing now.
Whatever.
It's on the DLC.
I told you that already.
Check this out.
Whoa! Ohh! - What's going on out here?! - It wasn't me! Whooooa ohhh! I swear! I told you to get down from there 30 years ago! Run! Watch out, guys! Run, run!
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on! Recess is so close, I can taste it.
Hey, what are you guys doing? Okay, I know recess is fun, but so is reading.
- It sure is.
- Y-Yeah, thank you, Jeff.
Butts in chairs till the bell rings.
Let's go! - See you after recess, Ms.
Baker.
- Yeah, yeah, have fun, Jeff.
Whoa! Seesaw, anyone? - Ooh! Me! - Whoa! Oof! Uh - Hey, Jeff.
- Uh, hi, Sumo.
Gross, gross, gross, gross! Well, don't want to let a good slippery slide go to waste.
Ha ha whoa! Hey, Clarence.
Whatcha doing? - Oh! Hi, Sumo! - Whee! If we spin fast enough we'll warp to another dimension! - Yeah! - Count me in! Light speed! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wh-o-o-o-o-o-oa! Guh! My poor baby boy! This playground is way too dangerous for these young kids.
I completely agree, Mr.
Golightly.
For years, I've been saying we should get rid of this old, cruddy equipment and replace it with something safe.
Uh, you guys, this looks serious.
Yeah, I don't like the look of this one bit.
Looks like trouble.
Big trouble.
Sorry, guys.
My dad always way overreacts.
Hey, there.
Come on.
- It's not your fault, Camden.
- Ow.
Wow.
Those guys are huge.
You guys look strong very strong.
That's a good thing.
Mm.
Mm, that's good.
Mm.
Hey, you guys think you could give me a boost? Hey! Ms.
Shoop and guys in orange shirts, listen up! You guys can't take this away from us.
This is our playground! We all have memories on this playground.
This is where Jeff overcame his fear of ants.
- Right there.
- Eee! And, Belson, this is your butt print where you sit every day and play your video games.
And this is where Rita and Dustin were kissing in secret when they thought no one was looking, but I was secretly looking.
- I was looking! - Whoo! Ooh! It's romantic! You can't take our playground! You can't take our playground! You can't take our playground! You can't take our playground! Let go of me! I'll never give up! I'll stay chained to Waaaaah! Oof! Hoo, yeah! That's right! Get rid of it! But what are we supposed to do at recess now? Quit your bellyaching.
Frankly, not a huge priority for me.
But we'll have a new playground for you soon enough.
Brand-new? Come on, you guys! The new playground's here! It's gonna be so cool.
It's gonna be uhhhh Ugh! What is this a babyground? Shh.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
- Unh.
- Unh.
Unh.
Yippee! Oh? Huh.
Oh.
- Oof! - Whee.
How are we supposed to have any fun when this thing moves super-slow?! Super-slow Slow slow That's it! We warped to a super-slow dimension! Shuh-juh-juh-juh-juh-juh! Wha-na-na-na-na-na-na! Woo-boo-boo-boo-boo! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh- nuh-nuh-nuh! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh! nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh! - This'll make us go faster.
- Yo, slowers! Check out our ultra-speedy dimension! Yeah! Yo yo yo! Surf's up! Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! Ghee-ghee! Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! Too fast.
Whuh-buh-buh! Whoa! W-W-W-Whoa! Wh-Whoa! Guh! How?! How could you let this happen again to my sweet little potato?! This is reprehensible! - Welp, he seems pretty mad.
- Eh, what are they gonna do? They already put in this lame playground.
It's not like they can take that away, too.
- Oh, poo.
- What?! It's gone! It's all gone! New playground was so young! Why, Ms.
Shoop? Why? Why do you hate playgrounds? It's for your own good! Aw, man! There ain't nothing to play with! All that's left is this pile of dirt! Dirt dirt dirt.
.
- Oh, Sumo - What? Just a pile of dirt, you say, Sumo? Think fast! Here comes the dirt! - Hey, everybody! Dirt fight! - Right.
Tickles my face.
Take that! Take this! Oh, my gosh.
Everybody! Stop! - Huh? - What? Uh, wha? Whew.
You've had a rough week.
Maybe you should just give those sweet cheeks a rest.
That's a pretty good ide Ohh! Okay, that's it! Since you've all shown that you can't play outside responsibly, this is where you'll be spending recess from now on.
This is for your own safety.
Can you put me down? You're embarrassing me.
- Your stupid two cheeks! - Unh-unh! No touching! Where do they take all this stuff, anyway? - Ryan! - I'm trying to stop this nonsense! - Ryan! - All right, we're all clear.
Dude, the door.
- Attack.
- Defense.
- Attack.
- Defense.
Guys! There's a I-I found it! We got to Just follow me! Welcome to playground heaven! Hello, old friend.
Whoa-ho! Heh! My chains! What do you guys want to start with today? The turtle races? Sand monster? Want to see if we can finally make that swing go all the way around? - Hold it! - Huh? You're not doing any of that! I'm sorry, guys.
I had no choice.
You rat! I should have finished you! Wait, wait.
What are you guys doing here? Is this still school? - Um, um, Ms.
Shoop? - Amy, what do you want? Can't we just have some fun? - Yeah.
- Fun?! This is fun to you? Sneaking out of school? When I was your age, we mended our socks while listening to the radio.
We certainly didn't play on dangerous equipment like this.
I mean, look at this.
It's all jagged and splintered and Eh uh Well, I'll be.
- Now we're married, like, forever! - Oh, Hershey.
Hey! Hershey! Get down from there! - Oh, no! Are you hurt? - Oh, I'm fine.
It was worth it.
Hmm? Hey.
I remember this.
Watch out, bad guys! Officer Reese is on the case! Hey, you! Stop right there! You're under arrest for being cute.
Outside is way too dangerous, my dear.
You're going to hurt yourself.
Oh.
Some of my best memories were made on the playground.
- Whee guh! - Son! Oww.
Well, you're just a clumsy little guy, aren't ya? - Oh, uh, dad? - Oh, shh.
Let the cheeks speak to each other.
- Aww.
Aren't they cute? - Meh.
Faster is better, Ms.
Baker.
I can handle it.
Wheeee! Ah, yes.
Uh Uh, a-a-are you okay? Brenda.
Swing now.
Whatever.
It's on the DLC.
I told you that already.
Check this out.
Whoa! Ohh! - What's going on out here?! - It wasn't me! Whooooa ohhh! I swear! I told you to get down from there 30 years ago! Run! Watch out, guys! Run, run!