DAVE (2020) s02e01 Episode Script
International Gander
1
(DEEP BREATHS)
I've never been coddled,
swaddled or fondled.
I've never been coddled,
swaddled, or fondled
Ay, bro, they said they ready for you.
Come on, it's his routine.
Let him do it.
I take it back, what?
I take it back. Okay. Okay.
Don't be nervous, Dave,
everything's gonna be
exactly how it should be
because that's what you do.
I'm Maria Manzano,
Channel 9 News, back to Dave.
That part's a little icky, racially.
- Thank you, Maria. Thank you, Maria.
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
Fuck it. Let's just go.
(SIGHS)
Hey, you know it ain't nothing
to be nervous about, right?
This is big tycoon status
shit right here, man.
He's not nervous. Stop saying that.
- How can he not be nervous?
- He's not.
He's ready, he's anxious. He's excited.
Don't be nervous, David, okay?
Millions of people are
about to be introduced to you
for the first time; this is exciting.
- You're making it worse.
- Okay.
It's just like riding a bike, though.
It's muscle memory. At this point,
you've done this thousands of
times, I mean, come on.
Nobody in my family
is ever going to die.
It's a fact.
Nobody in my family
is ever going to die.
It's a fact. Ha. No one's gonna die.
- I love you, Bubba. You're gonna be great.
- Shut up.
(ANNOUNCER SPEAKS
INDISTINCTLY OVER P.A.)
(APPLAUSE)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Korea
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(WEAK APPLAUSE)
Korean Music Awards. Let's go!
(WEAK APPLAUSE)
And we got BTS in the house.
(LOUD CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
There's no BTS.
Huh?
That
(WHISPERING): Keep going, please.
(NERVOUS LAUGH)
What the fuck just happened?
- Man, that shit was hard.
- I don't think it was.
The feed didn't even show
the whole thing.
- You're fine.
- It wasn't on TV?
- No, you're good.
- Oh, my God.
- What is this?
- It's bulgogi, japchae
- What time is it, Dan?
- It's 8:00 p.m.
- No, it's not.
- Uh, yes, it is.
No, it's not, we're on
American time, album mode.
- No jet lag, Dan.
- I thought that was a joke.
Dan, it's 4:00 a.m. my time right now
and you're judging me. That's a joke.
- Okay?
- Don't trip, bro.
You can get us some more weed, intern?
This shit I gandered in
ain't gonna last us, bro.
Uh, o-okay.
Dave, you want your backpack?
- I prefer you keep it on you.
- Okay, yeah. Sure.
Please stop presenting me with the food.
- I'm trying to work on my body.
- Oh, okay.
Dave, we want to
Hey, I-I want to eat it.
- Uh, you hold it.
- Oh.
Uh, big news. CL. We've got
five minutes of her time
down by the loading dock if you want to
- talk to her about tomorrow.
- If I want to.
No, I'm just gonna wing the first video
for my first single off my first album.
Okay, well, use that charm
on her, all right?
- Let's go talk to her.
- Okay.
Who is CL? What does CL stand
for, Corean Lady?
- I'm just joking.
- Have some fucking respect, Gata.
Chae-rin Lee. She's a Korean pop star.
When you're big out here,
you get every stream.
Honestly, CL, I could not have
asked for a better guest first.
- You killed it.
- Thank you.
Change your name to CW, because
(MAN SPEAKS KOREAN)
I don't see any L's
the way I'm looking.
Do you know when the song is coming out?
Uh, as soon as me and you make
the best music video
of all time tomorrow.
Uh, by the way, I did do
some tweaks to the beat
and a few lyrics, so now I added a drop.
- Okay.
- 'Cause I want it to go crazy a festivals.
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
- You know? This is a global song.
So I, it's (HUMMING MELODY)
I just woke up in Korea ♪
(HUMMING)
Oh, I can't believe this.
My one day off just got fully booked.
This is crazy. I can't live like this.
Have you ever read
the Calvin and Hobbes book
The Days Are Just Packed?
Hmm?
Ah, Gata, I don't know if I can
do another 16-hour flight.
My back is killing me, man.
Bro, you gotta keep
the steak sizzling, nigga.
Some things just must be done.
Or I gotta stretch more.
Look at CL's manager.
Look at how he squats.
He gets so low to the ground,
it's like his butthole
can touch the earth.
Why you watching another man squat?
Because I'm impressed.
You talking about how low he getting?
- Yeah, that's impressive.
- You about to blow my high, bro.
I'm about to bend the corner
and get faded, bro.
You always sayin' some funny shit, bro.
CL: You know what,
you're lucky your finishing
your album right now,
'cause that's the only time
I ever get to be in one place
all by myself.
I mean, for me, making an album
has been, like,
psychological, uh, chaos.
You know, you only get one
first impression, and this is
my debut, so it's like
it's got to be so smart,
so good at rapping, so poignant,
like, so reinventive.
So So play me something.
Not my thing.
You know, I wouldn't even play
anything for Obama, who's
Come on, you have to play it
for your management
or your label.
(CHUCKLES): Those people are actually
the last people on the face of the Earth
- I would ever play my music for. Oh.
- Buddy, what up?
Time to go. It's way too late.
Jae, did you know about this change?
- I needed a day off.
- (SPEAKING KOREAN)
I'm so out of the loop
on the language. Can I get a selfie?
Make it quick, please.
- Okay.
- She needs her rest.
Wow. Okay. Uh
All right.
Iconic on three. One, two, three,
- BOTH: Iconic.
- Yeah.
- We look great.
- Okay, gotta go.
- All right. Uh, take care.
- Bye, Dave.
- You too.
- Bye. I'll see you tomorrow.
(CAR STARTS)
Damn, bro, she look like
Iron woman, nigga. That's crazy.
You in your Mr. Miyagi bag
right now, bro.
You see what the fuck I do?
International gander, bro. That's crazy.
- You see what I'm doing?
- She look like a Korean Beyoncé, nigga.
- (LAUGHTER)
- I'll see you guys tomorrow.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
♪
♪
♪
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(EXHALES)
(WHISPERING): Come on, CL.
Fuckin' like the picture.
Like the picture.
Fuckin' like it, CL,
just like the picture.
A'ight, G, you know what the deal is.
International Gata out here in Korea.
This the type of shit your bitch like.
Fuckin' exchange rate. Wonton soup.
All I do is won.
This room is plush!
Man, this room is weak as hell.
These beds smaller than my uncle's,
and he in the pen, man.
Oh. Sorry about your uncle.
Hey, it's all good, we don't
want him out and about.
But this room is weak, man.
- I thought it'd be more player than this.
- I know, Gata.
But we're all gonna be
sleeping on the floor
if this shit doesn't sell.
Hey, is Dave always this tense?
- He's not as funny as I thought he'd be.
- Yeah, man.
I mean, I love the guy, but you know,
he's putting the finishing
touches on his album,
so he's just going nonstop.
You know, you're seeing him
at his worst.
I know you feel like
you're eating the most shit,
but trust me, we're all
getting our taste, too.
Hey, Dan, how many Black people
in Korea, bro?
I need to know the answer.
Uh, I'm not sure. I-I was born here,
but I grew up in Pomona.
And I bet you there's way less redheads
than Black people in Korea.
Here we go again.
Dan, don't fall for this shit, intern.
Seriously, bro, go to sleep,
get some rest.
No, it's real, though.
You know that, right, Dan?
We're the only race left
that it's socially acceptable
to make fun of, to dog on.
You know how many gingers
have been erased from history?
- Um, no.
- Yeah, lots.
Thomas Jefferson, redhead.
George Washington, redhead.
- Santa Claus.
- Oh, Santa.
You see him with white hair.
That's how they paint him.
But he had red hair
- Right.
- in the original drawings.
- He was quite musclebound.
- Wow.
He didn't have a gut.
- Can I go to bed now?
- In great sh What?
Could I go to bed now?
- Yeah. Yeah, we have a long day.
- Cool.
Get to bed right now, Dan.
Go to bed. Got stuff
to do tomorrow, all right?
DAN: I think you just
- What is it? Oh.
- Turn Turn the thing. There you go.
- (ALARM RINGING)
- I just woke up in Korea. ♪
What's going on across the globe? ♪
L-I-L-D out here in Seoul ♪
I got kimchi, I got it all ♪
Bulgogi, galbi, sam gyup sal ♪
Gimbop that ass on the wall ♪
Back home, aw, lil dick was small ♪
What's poppin'? Korea, what is up? ♪
Let's drink Soju, get drunk ♪
They love me right now ♪
Oh
I took a shit in Korea. ♪
♪
Ah ♪
♪
Are the details Korean enough?
Because optics are so crucial
with this video.
You know, we're in
a fucking race war back home.
Everything matters, you know?
W well, you
you are taking a shit in downtown Seoul.
So
Dan (EXHALES)
Why are you weighing in on creative?
Translate.
Be algorithmic. Please.
I have a real Korean man
right in front of me
that I came all the way out here for.
- Dude. Okay. Okay.
- He's a director.
- Check.
- And by the way, I did
Just so you know, I did a lot
of research coming into this.
- Right, yeah.
- It's like, I already know
that when a Korean baby's born,
it's one, instantaneously.
Did you know that?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You knew that.
Did you know that 90% of the
world's consumable seaweed
comes from Korea?
I didn't know that. No.
Hmm.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
No, the seaweed.
- Tell him about
- Oh.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Could can we actually
check out the set?
- I have, I have a few notes.
- Oh.
What made you want to do a K-pop song?
Oh, my God. How could you
not make a K-pop song
in today's era? Are you kidding?
Every single video that
comes out of this country
gets, like, what?
Five million billion views in a day?
It's the best idea I've ever had.
It's a fucking cheat code.
These fans affect, like,
global elections in politics.
I expect our video to get
300 million views in the first day,
especially I'm being, like, funny.
Like Being funny is gonna
be like being Elvis out here.
But I think that's, like,
- an American tool?
- Yeah. Aniyo.
Aniyo. What?
DAN: Aniyo.
- Aniyo.
- Yeah.
Hey, can this whole thing
get, like, a little bigger?
Like more circ and pompinstance?
Like I just feel like we're
really limiting the scope of
- Big. Big.
- Big, yes.
- Action.
- That would be great,
- if you could do that, yeah.
- Yes, yes.
It needs, like, more scope.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Oh, this is what CL's gonna wear.
Great. This seems, like,
all-encompassing,
full-service Asian garb, right?
- "Asian garb"?
- Yeah, like
in the sense that it would
reach all the lands.
And 'Cause, ideally,
if I could have it my way,
we would really pick off
all the nations.
China, Japan,
like, Iran, Persia, Sunnis, Shiites.
Everybody in the whole fucking region,
all the lands, if they could buy
into this, that would be huge.
From a population and, like,
a view, like
Just the analytics.
Can you just go get the ketchup
- that I asked you for? For my
- Yeah.
Thank you. My packets
are in my backpack.
- Yeah.
- Where is my backpack, by the way?
- Um
- I thought it was always
- supposed to be on your body, Dan.
- Sorry.
Oh, my God.
- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah. Good.
- Oh, okay.
- Hey, Mike, where is she?
I don't know.
I've left her manager,
like, four voice mails.
This is insane.
No ETA? We have no idea where she is?
I have no idea.
I can't get ahold of anybody.
We have to start shooting her scenes,
otherwise we're gonna be
going into overtime.
- Like, now.
- Okay, can you control your stress?
Because when you get stressed,
I get stressed.
I am controlling. This is me controlling
- my stress.
- Really? That's crazy.
- Thank you. I'll do my job.
- DAVE: Thank you.
Gata, do you have any more of that weed?
- I'd love to smoke.
- Bro,
they big trippin' out here.
I tried smokin' earlier.
Bro, they flipped out on me, bro.
This is not L.A.
This shit's super illegal out here, bro.
But thank God I got to blow some
last night by the car, man.
By the car?
Wait.
GATA: I'm blowing bud
regardless, nigga. Fuck 12.
MIKE: Hey, hey. We talked about that.
No "fuck 12".
- Just "some 12".
- GATA: Yeah, that's true.
DAN: Whoa.
She can't be in a picture with weed.
You got to delete that.
Why wouldn't you warn me about this?
I didn't know you posted it.
You don't follow me?
No, I-I didn't.
It keeps going to voice mail.
Okay? So What do we do now?
Well, I think it's 'cause
she's in this fucking picture
with Weed Man.
No. Weed's not
Is that is it a big deal here?
Kind of is, yeah.
- MIKE: Okay.
- Fuck!
What if we Can we shoot this
without her? Is that even
Without her? She's a Korean pop artist.
You can't do a K-pop song
without a K-pop artist. Like
- MIKE: Okay
- We leave tomorrow.
MIKE: Okay, I understand
we leave tomorrow.
All right? Well, our budget's
- on fire, Dave.
- Yeah.
I'm not sitting here and waiting
for them to just come
and hope it happens, okay?
We have to, like,
proactively go to them.
So, find an address of where
her manager works or something.
You want to go to the office?
I want to do something
so we can maybe fucking
salvage this thing.
- Okay, I'll find the
- Yeah, let's go.
- I'll find the office.
- Please.
Gata, come on,
we're going. Yeah. Let's go.
W-Wait, should I come?
Nah, Dan, I learned Korean
when you were getting ketchup.
(TRAIN RUMBLING)
♪
(SIGHS)
Hey. What are we gonna do
to smooth this thing over?
Do people come, like, bearing gifts,
- or, like Ah, how can we
- MIKE: Gifts?
N That's, like,
the last thing we should
be worried about.
I've been reading this article.
Apparently, like, K-pop
is super, super dark, man.
The managers control all
the aspects of their lives.
They tell them what they can
wear, what they can eat.
Crazy number of suicides.
So what are you saying?
That the manager is not
letting her come to our shoot
because he saw the picture?
Is that what you're saying?
I think it goes way beyond that, Dave.
This whole thing seems to be run by
(QUIETLY): the Korean mob.
Listen Fuck.
Is that why she was acting
so weird around that guy?
Like, she was so tense.
I know.
(GROANS)
Fuck.
Yeah.
I got sucked last night.
What?
You got sucked?
Girl was crazy. Like, top dollar.
She blew my socks off, bro.
I'm talkin' 'bout drenched me down.
Where?
GATA: In the room.
In the in the hotel? Room?
In the 'telly, man.
It was haunting.
- GATA: Haunting?
- You saw?
Yeah, bro, I was gonna, like,
rearrange your bed and all that,
but I didn't want to wake you up.
MIKE: Very considerate, Gata.
(MEN SPEAKING LOUDLY IN KOREAN)
- What? Whoa, whoa, stop. What are you doing?
- (SPEAKING KOREAN)
- (DAN SHOUTS IN KOREAN)
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- What are you saying?
- What are you doing?
Why-why are you taking him?
What-what'd he do?
Yo.
What the fuck was that?
We-we got to get off at the next stop.
- Hey, gotta be about the weed.
- DAVE: Well, hold on.
If this is a Mafia thing,
I'm not doing anything about it.
We're getting off
at the next stop, dude.
I've had dinner with
his mother, all right?
I'm not getting off at the next stop.
- We have to get CL, so we can
- He has your backpack, bro.
With your laptop.
He has your backpack?
Tell me you backed it up.
Tell me you backed up the album, dude.
No. (SIGHS)
No?
DAVE: I don't make duplicates.
For the hackers.
We're getting off at the next stop.
We have to get Dan
and your fucking laptop.
Fuck!
- (SHOUTING)
- Gata, thank God you got this video.
This is insane.
Come on, Mike, I'm from the hood.
Filming the cops is automatic, man.
Hello? Yeah, it's Dave. From the shoot.
- Uh
- (WOMAN SPEAKING KOREAN)
Woof, I need someone
that speaks English.
Do you know do you know
who these people are?
- DAVE: Yes, it's
- They took our friend.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Okay, need it translated, then.
CL might not be coming,
so we need a contingency plan
if she does not come. Okay?
- Bye-bye CL, potentially.
- How do you say "police" in Korean?
- The director. The
- Take me to Take me
Just need to talk to somebody
who can speak English, please.
Man, this shit giving me anxiety, bro.
DAVE: CL might not be coming.
Hey, use Find My Mac, bro.
The laptop in the backpack
- is gonna tell you where it's at.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dave, give me your, um, your iCloud.
Use the password document
that I told you
I don't have the password document,
otherwise I wouldn't be
asking you for it.
Well, I mean, I don't know
what you want from me.
Open up your phone and give it to me.
I'm on the fucking phone trying
to save this video right now.
That is not what's important
right now, Dave.
- So give me your fucking phone.
- (GROANS)
(DRIVER SPEAKING KOREAN)
Man, y'all got me fucked up.
I'm trying to enjoy myself out here.
Gata, you think I give a fuck
about you having fun right now?
There's so many bigger fish to fry.
Does this seatbelt work, sir, or no?
- Does the seatbelt work, man?
- Okay. Okay.
Can you take us here? To this? Yes?
Does this seatbelt
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(OVERLAPPING ARGUING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(HORN HONKING)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(RUSTLES)
Th What did he do?
- (SPEAKS KOREAN)
- MIKE: Yeah.
What was he doing, that-that guy? Huh?
- (RATTLING)
- (DAVE EXHALES)
Uh f uh
Could you give us fresh air?
I had farted.
So
(HORNS HONKING OUTSIDE)
Thanks.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Is he ratting us out right now?
I don't know. Hope not.
(DRIVER CONTINUES SPEAKING KOREAN)
Give me the weed right now.
I'm gonna throw it
- out the window.
- No, are you crazy?
Bro, I ain't trying to get
ASAP Rocky'd in Korea.
I'm-a put this in my sock.
No, don't put it in your sock.
Give me the weed;
I'll throw it out the window.
Don't put it in your fucking sock.
- I ain't trippin'.
- Do not put it in your sock, Gata.
What are you doing? Don't
- Give me the fucking
- (KNOCKING)
What your friend look like?
Uh
You know
H-He's
A He's Facially,
he's an Asian man.
Stiff, black hair.
GATA: He has a lot of
ketchup packets in his pockets.
- DAVE: Skin
- His name is Dan.
- Dan is his name.
- Dan?
DAVE: Tan, uh, exterior.
MIKE: American Korean.
Come with me.
(HEAVY DOOR CLOSES)
♪
Did you know that 90% of
the world's renewable seaweed
comes from Korea?
C-Consumable seaweed.
Oh, yes.
Thank God you're here.
Can you guys please call my parents?
Dan, what the fuck is going on?
Okay, so you know how I lived here,
till, like, I was five years old?
Yeah.
Okay, so,
Korea has this policy where,
if you're a man
and you're born here,
you have to serve, like,
two years in the Korean Army.
Regardless of how long you lived here.
- That's insane.
- And my papers came up
at the train station, they saw me
They think I'm dodging the military.
I You're not, are
You're not, right?
I didn't know about
the fucking policy, Mike.
- MIKE: Okay.
- Or else I wouldn't have come on this dumb fucking trip!
- Okay.
- All right, I-I might not be able to leave
for two years, dude. Two fucking years.
Damn, you on your
Nelson Mandela shit, boy.
They need to make a movie
about this shit.
I might have to join the fucking army.
- Yeah, that's very It's a pretty serious thing
- MIKE: Okay.
- that's happening.
- We'll make a call. Just relax.
I just want to go home, man. All right?
Me, too, bruh. This shit is crazy.
MIKE: Dan, I'm gonna
get the legal ball rolling.
- (SPEAKS KOREAN)
- It's fine. It's okay.
Dan, we need the backpack.
I Look, I know it's crazy.
We need the laptop, Dan.
Please, I-I'm begging you. Please,
- ask him more about it.
- He's more important.
It's important. I know,
I'm sorry, but please.
- GATA: We need that.
- We shouldn't be talking about this right now.
- The guy's in fucking jail, man. No.
- MIKE: No, we should.
- DAVE: It's not the right time.
- (SPEAKING KOREAN)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
- (SIGHS)
- MIKE: What is that?
It's confiscated till I'm released.
GATA: Man, tell these fools
we tryin' to make an album.
- Our livelihood is at stake.
- Relax.
- No, no, shut up, Dave.
- Just take account of the situation right now.
- No, you fucking realize where you are.
- No, shut up.
That's everything we've worked
for, okay? No, we need that.
- We need that.
- Do you know what hip-hop is?
- It's an American art.
- (SHOUTING IN KOREAN)
- Relax.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Don't piss him off, dude. Okay?
Just call my parents!
Just calm down. Calm the fuck down.
- MIKE: You calm the fuck down, Dave.
- DAVE: No, you're not.
- (DOG BARKS)
- MIKE: Just say we Dan, please.
If you would just tell him, give
us the bag and we'll leave
Hey, fuck you, you fucking asshole!
All right? The world doesn't
revolve around you guys, okay?!
You are the one that
should be in jail for making
that offensive fucking video
in the first place!
And I don't even like
your fucking music, all right?
I applied for, like,
12 other fucking internships!
Man, the laptop ain't even
got shit to do with him, bro.
(ALL SHOUTING)
(OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)
There's nothing on the laptop!
There's nothing on the laptop.
Relax.
What are you ? What the fuck
are you talking about?
I don't have any other music, okay?
I've been making it all up.
I have writer's block and
I-I don't know,
I can't fucking make songs.
I've been lying
and pretending.
There's no album.
(QUIETLY): Whoa.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(OFFICERS CHUCKLING)
What'd he say?
Just get out of here, man.
And call my fucking parents.
I'm sorry.
DAVE: We'll get you out.
Fucking idiot.
♪
I can't believe I put all my
eggs into that fucking basket.
You buggin', bro. This basket
the best thing I got going, bro.
Plus LD to go, bro.
Niggas where I'm from ain't
supposed to make it to Korea.
Hey. You good, bro?
Not really, if I'm being honest.
Why didn't you just tell us, Dave?
I don't know, it's fucking embarrassing.
It's, like, I've been working
on it forever
and I just can't make songs.
Do you have one song done?
All I have is Korea.
Well, look, you know, where I'm from,
motherfuckas ain't supposed
to make it to Korea.
(SNICKERS)
We ruined CL's life for sure, but
we-we got a job to do.
And I know I didn't take
a 13-hour flight, bro,
from South Central L.A. just to
see you sit here and look sad,
bro. Come on, you better
get in your bag, bro.
Shoot a video, blow this shit up.
You know what I'm sayin'?
You want to be a legend
or you want to live like a peasant?
All right.
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)
GATA: Man, I feel like we've
soaked up a lot over here, man.
- Oh, yeah, like what?
- Just the culture, the food,
- the bitches, it's different.
- Yeah. Different country. - CL. CL.
- CL's here.
- CL's here?
- Yes. We hurry. She very upset.
- Where is she?
(MAN SPEAKING KOREAN)
What the Fuck. No.
No! Fuck, fuck. Stop, stop,
stop, stop. CL, stop! Stop!
Don't do it! Stop! Listen to me!
I know what you're going through!
I'm an artist!
I know what it's like
to be under pressure!
Look! Look at me, right now!
I'm spending my entire
music video budget for
the whole year on a K-pop song
and you know what?
I don't even listen to K-pop.
If I'm being honest about it,
I'm that desperate to succeed!
Okay, I know your manager
controls your life.
I understand, but I can
help you! I'm American.
You have my voice now.
We can do this together,
just come down
- (SCREAMS)
- No!
- (THUDS)
- (PEOPLE GASPING)
(MAN SPEAKING KOREAN)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Big action! Huh?
CL, you scared the shit out of me.
- My God.
- Uh, Dave,
who are you talking to?
MIKE: That's a stunt double.
Oh, man, I got to go sit down.
- This shit tripping me out.
- You're here!
Yes! Amazing. I thought you
saw this picture with the weed
- and there was this whole thing
- What weed?
- Nothing. Nothing.
- No weed.
It is very disrespectful for you
to keep us waiting like this.
- Us keep ?
- No. No, you guys were late.
- We didn't keep you waiting.
- You said call time was 8:00 p.m.
I said it
- It was American time.
- Mm
So, Dave, about your speech
You heard you heard everything?
- Yes.
- Okay, um,
he told me about this article
that was titled
"The Dark Side of K-pop".
I'll let him tell you about
Yeah, I just, I-I Cliffs Notes it.
I think I didn't finish it and it's
I think it's from 2016, it's
I think it was old, so
Okay, so let me get this straight.
So you come out here to
leech off of K-pop's success
- for your own good, you're late
- No, no. No.
and you blamed that on me.
- Mm. - Well
- You broke the law,
and you thought I was
committing suicide?
- Uh
- Yes.
- That's a concise summary of what happened, but
- Yeah.
Here's the deal.
Your manager was being really
kind of rude to you and
there was a tenseness
First of all, this is
my head of security.
- Oh.
- And the reason I was tense
- No. Don't do that.
- was because
I don't want any of you guys
wasting my time.
I love K-pop.
I don't want to be a part
of you disrespecting it.
No, I'm not disrespecting it.
I think I love K-pop, too.
So let's make this video
- together, please
- You know what?
You fucked up in Korea.
Annyeong.
- MIKE: What's What ?
- Annyeong.
I'm not married to anything
creatively. We could change it.
CL: Whatever!
Now I have nothing.
Yeah.
I took a shit in Korea ♪
♪
Whoo! ♪
Ah ♪
Ah ♪
Whoo! ♪
Ye-haw ♪
Whoo, whoo! ♪
Ah, ah, ah ♪
Yes! ♪
(DEEP BREATHS)
I've never been coddled,
swaddled or fondled.
I've never been coddled,
swaddled, or fondled
Ay, bro, they said they ready for you.
Come on, it's his routine.
Let him do it.
I take it back, what?
I take it back. Okay. Okay.
Don't be nervous, Dave,
everything's gonna be
exactly how it should be
because that's what you do.
I'm Maria Manzano,
Channel 9 News, back to Dave.
That part's a little icky, racially.
- Thank you, Maria. Thank you, Maria.
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
Fuck it. Let's just go.
(SIGHS)
Hey, you know it ain't nothing
to be nervous about, right?
This is big tycoon status
shit right here, man.
He's not nervous. Stop saying that.
- How can he not be nervous?
- He's not.
He's ready, he's anxious. He's excited.
Don't be nervous, David, okay?
Millions of people are
about to be introduced to you
for the first time; this is exciting.
- You're making it worse.
- Okay.
It's just like riding a bike, though.
It's muscle memory. At this point,
you've done this thousands of
times, I mean, come on.
Nobody in my family
is ever going to die.
It's a fact.
Nobody in my family
is ever going to die.
It's a fact. Ha. No one's gonna die.
- I love you, Bubba. You're gonna be great.
- Shut up.
(ANNOUNCER SPEAKS
INDISTINCTLY OVER P.A.)
(APPLAUSE)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Korea
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(WEAK APPLAUSE)
Korean Music Awards. Let's go!
(WEAK APPLAUSE)
And we got BTS in the house.
(LOUD CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
There's no BTS.
Huh?
That
(WHISPERING): Keep going, please.
(NERVOUS LAUGH)
What the fuck just happened?
- Man, that shit was hard.
- I don't think it was.
The feed didn't even show
the whole thing.
- You're fine.
- It wasn't on TV?
- No, you're good.
- Oh, my God.
- What is this?
- It's bulgogi, japchae
- What time is it, Dan?
- It's 8:00 p.m.
- No, it's not.
- Uh, yes, it is.
No, it's not, we're on
American time, album mode.
- No jet lag, Dan.
- I thought that was a joke.
Dan, it's 4:00 a.m. my time right now
and you're judging me. That's a joke.
- Okay?
- Don't trip, bro.
You can get us some more weed, intern?
This shit I gandered in
ain't gonna last us, bro.
Uh, o-okay.
Dave, you want your backpack?
- I prefer you keep it on you.
- Okay, yeah. Sure.
Please stop presenting me with the food.
- I'm trying to work on my body.
- Oh, okay.
Dave, we want to
Hey, I-I want to eat it.
- Uh, you hold it.
- Oh.
Uh, big news. CL. We've got
five minutes of her time
down by the loading dock if you want to
- talk to her about tomorrow.
- If I want to.
No, I'm just gonna wing the first video
for my first single off my first album.
Okay, well, use that charm
on her, all right?
- Let's go talk to her.
- Okay.
Who is CL? What does CL stand
for, Corean Lady?
- I'm just joking.
- Have some fucking respect, Gata.
Chae-rin Lee. She's a Korean pop star.
When you're big out here,
you get every stream.
Honestly, CL, I could not have
asked for a better guest first.
- You killed it.
- Thank you.
Change your name to CW, because
(MAN SPEAKS KOREAN)
I don't see any L's
the way I'm looking.
Do you know when the song is coming out?
Uh, as soon as me and you make
the best music video
of all time tomorrow.
Uh, by the way, I did do
some tweaks to the beat
and a few lyrics, so now I added a drop.
- Okay.
- 'Cause I want it to go crazy a festivals.
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
- You know? This is a global song.
So I, it's (HUMMING MELODY)
I just woke up in Korea ♪
(HUMMING)
Oh, I can't believe this.
My one day off just got fully booked.
This is crazy. I can't live like this.
Have you ever read
the Calvin and Hobbes book
The Days Are Just Packed?
Hmm?
Ah, Gata, I don't know if I can
do another 16-hour flight.
My back is killing me, man.
Bro, you gotta keep
the steak sizzling, nigga.
Some things just must be done.
Or I gotta stretch more.
Look at CL's manager.
Look at how he squats.
He gets so low to the ground,
it's like his butthole
can touch the earth.
Why you watching another man squat?
Because I'm impressed.
You talking about how low he getting?
- Yeah, that's impressive.
- You about to blow my high, bro.
I'm about to bend the corner
and get faded, bro.
You always sayin' some funny shit, bro.
CL: You know what,
you're lucky your finishing
your album right now,
'cause that's the only time
I ever get to be in one place
all by myself.
I mean, for me, making an album
has been, like,
psychological, uh, chaos.
You know, you only get one
first impression, and this is
my debut, so it's like
it's got to be so smart,
so good at rapping, so poignant,
like, so reinventive.
So So play me something.
Not my thing.
You know, I wouldn't even play
anything for Obama, who's
Come on, you have to play it
for your management
or your label.
(CHUCKLES): Those people are actually
the last people on the face of the Earth
- I would ever play my music for. Oh.
- Buddy, what up?
Time to go. It's way too late.
Jae, did you know about this change?
- I needed a day off.
- (SPEAKING KOREAN)
I'm so out of the loop
on the language. Can I get a selfie?
Make it quick, please.
- Okay.
- She needs her rest.
Wow. Okay. Uh
All right.
Iconic on three. One, two, three,
- BOTH: Iconic.
- Yeah.
- We look great.
- Okay, gotta go.
- All right. Uh, take care.
- Bye, Dave.
- You too.
- Bye. I'll see you tomorrow.
(CAR STARTS)
Damn, bro, she look like
Iron woman, nigga. That's crazy.
You in your Mr. Miyagi bag
right now, bro.
You see what the fuck I do?
International gander, bro. That's crazy.
- You see what I'm doing?
- She look like a Korean Beyoncé, nigga.
- (LAUGHTER)
- I'll see you guys tomorrow.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
♪
♪
♪
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(EXHALES)
(WHISPERING): Come on, CL.
Fuckin' like the picture.
Like the picture.
Fuckin' like it, CL,
just like the picture.
A'ight, G, you know what the deal is.
International Gata out here in Korea.
This the type of shit your bitch like.
Fuckin' exchange rate. Wonton soup.
All I do is won.
This room is plush!
Man, this room is weak as hell.
These beds smaller than my uncle's,
and he in the pen, man.
Oh. Sorry about your uncle.
Hey, it's all good, we don't
want him out and about.
But this room is weak, man.
- I thought it'd be more player than this.
- I know, Gata.
But we're all gonna be
sleeping on the floor
if this shit doesn't sell.
Hey, is Dave always this tense?
- He's not as funny as I thought he'd be.
- Yeah, man.
I mean, I love the guy, but you know,
he's putting the finishing
touches on his album,
so he's just going nonstop.
You know, you're seeing him
at his worst.
I know you feel like
you're eating the most shit,
but trust me, we're all
getting our taste, too.
Hey, Dan, how many Black people
in Korea, bro?
I need to know the answer.
Uh, I'm not sure. I-I was born here,
but I grew up in Pomona.
And I bet you there's way less redheads
than Black people in Korea.
Here we go again.
Dan, don't fall for this shit, intern.
Seriously, bro, go to sleep,
get some rest.
No, it's real, though.
You know that, right, Dan?
We're the only race left
that it's socially acceptable
to make fun of, to dog on.
You know how many gingers
have been erased from history?
- Um, no.
- Yeah, lots.
Thomas Jefferson, redhead.
George Washington, redhead.
- Santa Claus.
- Oh, Santa.
You see him with white hair.
That's how they paint him.
But he had red hair
- Right.
- in the original drawings.
- He was quite musclebound.
- Wow.
He didn't have a gut.
- Can I go to bed now?
- In great sh What?
Could I go to bed now?
- Yeah. Yeah, we have a long day.
- Cool.
Get to bed right now, Dan.
Go to bed. Got stuff
to do tomorrow, all right?
DAN: I think you just
- What is it? Oh.
- Turn Turn the thing. There you go.
- (ALARM RINGING)
- I just woke up in Korea. ♪
What's going on across the globe? ♪
L-I-L-D out here in Seoul ♪
I got kimchi, I got it all ♪
Bulgogi, galbi, sam gyup sal ♪
Gimbop that ass on the wall ♪
Back home, aw, lil dick was small ♪
What's poppin'? Korea, what is up? ♪
Let's drink Soju, get drunk ♪
They love me right now ♪
Oh
I took a shit in Korea. ♪
♪
Ah ♪
♪
Are the details Korean enough?
Because optics are so crucial
with this video.
You know, we're in
a fucking race war back home.
Everything matters, you know?
W well, you
you are taking a shit in downtown Seoul.
So
Dan (EXHALES)
Why are you weighing in on creative?
Translate.
Be algorithmic. Please.
I have a real Korean man
right in front of me
that I came all the way out here for.
- Dude. Okay. Okay.
- He's a director.
- Check.
- And by the way, I did
Just so you know, I did a lot
of research coming into this.
- Right, yeah.
- It's like, I already know
that when a Korean baby's born,
it's one, instantaneously.
Did you know that?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You knew that.
Did you know that 90% of the
world's consumable seaweed
comes from Korea?
I didn't know that. No.
Hmm.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
No, the seaweed.
- Tell him about
- Oh.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Could can we actually
check out the set?
- I have, I have a few notes.
- Oh.
What made you want to do a K-pop song?
Oh, my God. How could you
not make a K-pop song
in today's era? Are you kidding?
Every single video that
comes out of this country
gets, like, what?
Five million billion views in a day?
It's the best idea I've ever had.
It's a fucking cheat code.
These fans affect, like,
global elections in politics.
I expect our video to get
300 million views in the first day,
especially I'm being, like, funny.
Like Being funny is gonna
be like being Elvis out here.
But I think that's, like,
- an American tool?
- Yeah. Aniyo.
Aniyo. What?
DAN: Aniyo.
- Aniyo.
- Yeah.
Hey, can this whole thing
get, like, a little bigger?
Like more circ and pompinstance?
Like I just feel like we're
really limiting the scope of
- Big. Big.
- Big, yes.
- Action.
- That would be great,
- if you could do that, yeah.
- Yes, yes.
It needs, like, more scope.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Oh, this is what CL's gonna wear.
Great. This seems, like,
all-encompassing,
full-service Asian garb, right?
- "Asian garb"?
- Yeah, like
in the sense that it would
reach all the lands.
And 'Cause, ideally,
if I could have it my way,
we would really pick off
all the nations.
China, Japan,
like, Iran, Persia, Sunnis, Shiites.
Everybody in the whole fucking region,
all the lands, if they could buy
into this, that would be huge.
From a population and, like,
a view, like
Just the analytics.
Can you just go get the ketchup
- that I asked you for? For my
- Yeah.
Thank you. My packets
are in my backpack.
- Yeah.
- Where is my backpack, by the way?
- Um
- I thought it was always
- supposed to be on your body, Dan.
- Sorry.
Oh, my God.
- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah. Good.
- Oh, okay.
- Hey, Mike, where is she?
I don't know.
I've left her manager,
like, four voice mails.
This is insane.
No ETA? We have no idea where she is?
I have no idea.
I can't get ahold of anybody.
We have to start shooting her scenes,
otherwise we're gonna be
going into overtime.
- Like, now.
- Okay, can you control your stress?
Because when you get stressed,
I get stressed.
I am controlling. This is me controlling
- my stress.
- Really? That's crazy.
- Thank you. I'll do my job.
- DAVE: Thank you.
Gata, do you have any more of that weed?
- I'd love to smoke.
- Bro,
they big trippin' out here.
I tried smokin' earlier.
Bro, they flipped out on me, bro.
This is not L.A.
This shit's super illegal out here, bro.
But thank God I got to blow some
last night by the car, man.
By the car?
Wait.
GATA: I'm blowing bud
regardless, nigga. Fuck 12.
MIKE: Hey, hey. We talked about that.
No "fuck 12".
- Just "some 12".
- GATA: Yeah, that's true.
DAN: Whoa.
She can't be in a picture with weed.
You got to delete that.
Why wouldn't you warn me about this?
I didn't know you posted it.
You don't follow me?
No, I-I didn't.
It keeps going to voice mail.
Okay? So What do we do now?
Well, I think it's 'cause
she's in this fucking picture
with Weed Man.
No. Weed's not
Is that is it a big deal here?
Kind of is, yeah.
- MIKE: Okay.
- Fuck!
What if we Can we shoot this
without her? Is that even
Without her? She's a Korean pop artist.
You can't do a K-pop song
without a K-pop artist. Like
- MIKE: Okay
- We leave tomorrow.
MIKE: Okay, I understand
we leave tomorrow.
All right? Well, our budget's
- on fire, Dave.
- Yeah.
I'm not sitting here and waiting
for them to just come
and hope it happens, okay?
We have to, like,
proactively go to them.
So, find an address of where
her manager works or something.
You want to go to the office?
I want to do something
so we can maybe fucking
salvage this thing.
- Okay, I'll find the
- Yeah, let's go.
- I'll find the office.
- Please.
Gata, come on,
we're going. Yeah. Let's go.
W-Wait, should I come?
Nah, Dan, I learned Korean
when you were getting ketchup.
(TRAIN RUMBLING)
♪
(SIGHS)
Hey. What are we gonna do
to smooth this thing over?
Do people come, like, bearing gifts,
- or, like Ah, how can we
- MIKE: Gifts?
N That's, like,
the last thing we should
be worried about.
I've been reading this article.
Apparently, like, K-pop
is super, super dark, man.
The managers control all
the aspects of their lives.
They tell them what they can
wear, what they can eat.
Crazy number of suicides.
So what are you saying?
That the manager is not
letting her come to our shoot
because he saw the picture?
Is that what you're saying?
I think it goes way beyond that, Dave.
This whole thing seems to be run by
(QUIETLY): the Korean mob.
Listen Fuck.
Is that why she was acting
so weird around that guy?
Like, she was so tense.
I know.
(GROANS)
Fuck.
Yeah.
I got sucked last night.
What?
You got sucked?
Girl was crazy. Like, top dollar.
She blew my socks off, bro.
I'm talkin' 'bout drenched me down.
Where?
GATA: In the room.
In the in the hotel? Room?
In the 'telly, man.
It was haunting.
- GATA: Haunting?
- You saw?
Yeah, bro, I was gonna, like,
rearrange your bed and all that,
but I didn't want to wake you up.
MIKE: Very considerate, Gata.
(MEN SPEAKING LOUDLY IN KOREAN)
- What? Whoa, whoa, stop. What are you doing?
- (SPEAKING KOREAN)
- (DAN SHOUTS IN KOREAN)
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- What are you saying?
- What are you doing?
Why-why are you taking him?
What-what'd he do?
Yo.
What the fuck was that?
We-we got to get off at the next stop.
- Hey, gotta be about the weed.
- DAVE: Well, hold on.
If this is a Mafia thing,
I'm not doing anything about it.
We're getting off
at the next stop, dude.
I've had dinner with
his mother, all right?
I'm not getting off at the next stop.
- We have to get CL, so we can
- He has your backpack, bro.
With your laptop.
He has your backpack?
Tell me you backed it up.
Tell me you backed up the album, dude.
No. (SIGHS)
No?
DAVE: I don't make duplicates.
For the hackers.
We're getting off at the next stop.
We have to get Dan
and your fucking laptop.
Fuck!
- (SHOUTING)
- Gata, thank God you got this video.
This is insane.
Come on, Mike, I'm from the hood.
Filming the cops is automatic, man.
Hello? Yeah, it's Dave. From the shoot.
- Uh
- (WOMAN SPEAKING KOREAN)
Woof, I need someone
that speaks English.
Do you know do you know
who these people are?
- DAVE: Yes, it's
- They took our friend.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Okay, need it translated, then.
CL might not be coming,
so we need a contingency plan
if she does not come. Okay?
- Bye-bye CL, potentially.
- How do you say "police" in Korean?
- The director. The
- Take me to Take me
Just need to talk to somebody
who can speak English, please.
Man, this shit giving me anxiety, bro.
DAVE: CL might not be coming.
Hey, use Find My Mac, bro.
The laptop in the backpack
- is gonna tell you where it's at.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dave, give me your, um, your iCloud.
Use the password document
that I told you
I don't have the password document,
otherwise I wouldn't be
asking you for it.
Well, I mean, I don't know
what you want from me.
Open up your phone and give it to me.
I'm on the fucking phone trying
to save this video right now.
That is not what's important
right now, Dave.
- So give me your fucking phone.
- (GROANS)
(DRIVER SPEAKING KOREAN)
Man, y'all got me fucked up.
I'm trying to enjoy myself out here.
Gata, you think I give a fuck
about you having fun right now?
There's so many bigger fish to fry.
Does this seatbelt work, sir, or no?
- Does the seatbelt work, man?
- Okay. Okay.
Can you take us here? To this? Yes?
Does this seatbelt
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(OVERLAPPING ARGUING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(HORN HONKING)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(RUSTLES)
Th What did he do?
- (SPEAKS KOREAN)
- MIKE: Yeah.
What was he doing, that-that guy? Huh?
- (RATTLING)
- (DAVE EXHALES)
Uh f uh
Could you give us fresh air?
I had farted.
So
(HORNS HONKING OUTSIDE)
Thanks.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
Is he ratting us out right now?
I don't know. Hope not.
(DRIVER CONTINUES SPEAKING KOREAN)
Give me the weed right now.
I'm gonna throw it
- out the window.
- No, are you crazy?
Bro, I ain't trying to get
ASAP Rocky'd in Korea.
I'm-a put this in my sock.
No, don't put it in your sock.
Give me the weed;
I'll throw it out the window.
Don't put it in your fucking sock.
- I ain't trippin'.
- Do not put it in your sock, Gata.
What are you doing? Don't
- Give me the fucking
- (KNOCKING)
What your friend look like?
Uh
You know
H-He's
A He's Facially,
he's an Asian man.
Stiff, black hair.
GATA: He has a lot of
ketchup packets in his pockets.
- DAVE: Skin
- His name is Dan.
- Dan is his name.
- Dan?
DAVE: Tan, uh, exterior.
MIKE: American Korean.
Come with me.
(HEAVY DOOR CLOSES)
♪
Did you know that 90% of
the world's renewable seaweed
comes from Korea?
C-Consumable seaweed.
Oh, yes.
Thank God you're here.
Can you guys please call my parents?
Dan, what the fuck is going on?
Okay, so you know how I lived here,
till, like, I was five years old?
Yeah.
Okay, so,
Korea has this policy where,
if you're a man
and you're born here,
you have to serve, like,
two years in the Korean Army.
Regardless of how long you lived here.
- That's insane.
- And my papers came up
at the train station, they saw me
They think I'm dodging the military.
I You're not, are
You're not, right?
I didn't know about
the fucking policy, Mike.
- MIKE: Okay.
- Or else I wouldn't have come on this dumb fucking trip!
- Okay.
- All right, I-I might not be able to leave
for two years, dude. Two fucking years.
Damn, you on your
Nelson Mandela shit, boy.
They need to make a movie
about this shit.
I might have to join the fucking army.
- Yeah, that's very It's a pretty serious thing
- MIKE: Okay.
- that's happening.
- We'll make a call. Just relax.
I just want to go home, man. All right?
Me, too, bruh. This shit is crazy.
MIKE: Dan, I'm gonna
get the legal ball rolling.
- (SPEAKS KOREAN)
- It's fine. It's okay.
Dan, we need the backpack.
I Look, I know it's crazy.
We need the laptop, Dan.
Please, I-I'm begging you. Please,
- ask him more about it.
- He's more important.
It's important. I know,
I'm sorry, but please.
- GATA: We need that.
- We shouldn't be talking about this right now.
- The guy's in fucking jail, man. No.
- MIKE: No, we should.
- DAVE: It's not the right time.
- (SPEAKING KOREAN)
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
- (SIGHS)
- MIKE: What is that?
It's confiscated till I'm released.
GATA: Man, tell these fools
we tryin' to make an album.
- Our livelihood is at stake.
- Relax.
- No, no, shut up, Dave.
- Just take account of the situation right now.
- No, you fucking realize where you are.
- No, shut up.
That's everything we've worked
for, okay? No, we need that.
- We need that.
- Do you know what hip-hop is?
- It's an American art.
- (SHOUTING IN KOREAN)
- Relax.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Don't piss him off, dude. Okay?
Just call my parents!
Just calm down. Calm the fuck down.
- MIKE: You calm the fuck down, Dave.
- DAVE: No, you're not.
- (DOG BARKS)
- MIKE: Just say we Dan, please.
If you would just tell him, give
us the bag and we'll leave
Hey, fuck you, you fucking asshole!
All right? The world doesn't
revolve around you guys, okay?!
You are the one that
should be in jail for making
that offensive fucking video
in the first place!
And I don't even like
your fucking music, all right?
I applied for, like,
12 other fucking internships!
Man, the laptop ain't even
got shit to do with him, bro.
(ALL SHOUTING)
(OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)
There's nothing on the laptop!
There's nothing on the laptop.
Relax.
What are you ? What the fuck
are you talking about?
I don't have any other music, okay?
I've been making it all up.
I have writer's block and
I-I don't know,
I can't fucking make songs.
I've been lying
and pretending.
There's no album.
(QUIETLY): Whoa.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
(OFFICERS CHUCKLING)
What'd he say?
Just get out of here, man.
And call my fucking parents.
I'm sorry.
DAVE: We'll get you out.
Fucking idiot.
♪
I can't believe I put all my
eggs into that fucking basket.
You buggin', bro. This basket
the best thing I got going, bro.
Plus LD to go, bro.
Niggas where I'm from ain't
supposed to make it to Korea.
Hey. You good, bro?
Not really, if I'm being honest.
Why didn't you just tell us, Dave?
I don't know, it's fucking embarrassing.
It's, like, I've been working
on it forever
and I just can't make songs.
Do you have one song done?
All I have is Korea.
Well, look, you know, where I'm from,
motherfuckas ain't supposed
to make it to Korea.
(SNICKERS)
We ruined CL's life for sure, but
we-we got a job to do.
And I know I didn't take
a 13-hour flight, bro,
from South Central L.A. just to
see you sit here and look sad,
bro. Come on, you better
get in your bag, bro.
Shoot a video, blow this shit up.
You know what I'm sayin'?
You want to be a legend
or you want to live like a peasant?
All right.
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)
GATA: Man, I feel like we've
soaked up a lot over here, man.
- Oh, yeah, like what?
- Just the culture, the food,
- the bitches, it's different.
- Yeah. Different country. - CL. CL.
- CL's here.
- CL's here?
- Yes. We hurry. She very upset.
- Where is she?
(MAN SPEAKING KOREAN)
What the Fuck. No.
No! Fuck, fuck. Stop, stop,
stop, stop. CL, stop! Stop!
Don't do it! Stop! Listen to me!
I know what you're going through!
I'm an artist!
I know what it's like
to be under pressure!
Look! Look at me, right now!
I'm spending my entire
music video budget for
the whole year on a K-pop song
and you know what?
I don't even listen to K-pop.
If I'm being honest about it,
I'm that desperate to succeed!
Okay, I know your manager
controls your life.
I understand, but I can
help you! I'm American.
You have my voice now.
We can do this together,
just come down
- (SCREAMS)
- No!
- (THUDS)
- (PEOPLE GASPING)
(MAN SPEAKING KOREAN)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Big action! Huh?
CL, you scared the shit out of me.
- My God.
- Uh, Dave,
who are you talking to?
MIKE: That's a stunt double.
Oh, man, I got to go sit down.
- This shit tripping me out.
- You're here!
Yes! Amazing. I thought you
saw this picture with the weed
- and there was this whole thing
- What weed?
- Nothing. Nothing.
- No weed.
It is very disrespectful for you
to keep us waiting like this.
- Us keep ?
- No. No, you guys were late.
- We didn't keep you waiting.
- You said call time was 8:00 p.m.
I said it
- It was American time.
- Mm
So, Dave, about your speech
You heard you heard everything?
- Yes.
- Okay, um,
he told me about this article
that was titled
"The Dark Side of K-pop".
I'll let him tell you about
Yeah, I just, I-I Cliffs Notes it.
I think I didn't finish it and it's
I think it's from 2016, it's
I think it was old, so
Okay, so let me get this straight.
So you come out here to
leech off of K-pop's success
- for your own good, you're late
- No, no. No.
and you blamed that on me.
- Mm. - Well
- You broke the law,
and you thought I was
committing suicide?
- Uh
- Yes.
- That's a concise summary of what happened, but
- Yeah.
Here's the deal.
Your manager was being really
kind of rude to you and
there was a tenseness
First of all, this is
my head of security.
- Oh.
- And the reason I was tense
- No. Don't do that.
- was because
I don't want any of you guys
wasting my time.
I love K-pop.
I don't want to be a part
of you disrespecting it.
No, I'm not disrespecting it.
I think I love K-pop, too.
So let's make this video
- together, please
- You know what?
You fucked up in Korea.
Annyeong.
- MIKE: What's What ?
- Annyeong.
I'm not married to anything
creatively. We could change it.
CL: Whatever!
Now I have nothing.
Yeah.
I took a shit in Korea ♪
♪
Whoo! ♪
Ah ♪
Ah ♪
Whoo! ♪
Ye-haw ♪
Whoo, whoo! ♪
Ah, ah, ah ♪
Yes! ♪