Dawn of the Croods (2015) s02e01 Episode Script

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing.]
[Eep.]
Previously on the Croods' cave wall, the world was ending.
[screaming.]
But even if you can't count on the sun, you can still count on family.
- But - [shouts.]
what if you lose them too? Nobody panic.
Yes, I'm hanging off a cliff, and yes, the sky just ate the sun, but I'm sure my pelt will hold and since the sky's belly is full now, I'm sure we'll be fine - [branch creaking.]
- Ahh! My pelt's not holding! Panic! Panic! - [cloth tearing.]
- [screaming.]
Quit your whinin'.
I got ya.
[grunting.]
You're too heavy.
[grunts.]
- I'm lettin' you go.
- [all.]
No! - [grunts.]
- [screaming.]
Come on, you bozos.
I've seen the sun disappear before and we gotta run.
I don't know.
I tried running in the dark before and it did not go well.
Ignore your grandma, kids.
What we need to do now is just get used to living in total darkness forever.
- The inside of your head - [grunts.]
is total darkness forever.
The sun will come back.
But till it does, the liyotes are gonna be freakin' out.
This darkness turns those dumb furbags into dumb monsters who will feast on our guts! Wait.
So, Mom, you know how I have to be home by dark? Well, now I can stay out as long as I want, right? Mmm.
I'm serious.
Last time the sun went out, liyotes tore off my tail.
Eh, this one's a fake.
- [howling.]
- [gasping.]
Oh, no, they're here.
Run! [grunting.]
This is no time for hugging.
What part of [howling.]
don't you understand? - [snarling.]
- [gasping.]
Mom? - Gran? - Thunk? - Oh, whew, I'm right here.
- Huh? What the Make up your mind, sun.
Mom, where are you? - Say something.
- I told you so! [gasping.]
- [all gasp.]
- [scoffs.]
- Mom! - [sniffing.]
Mom! Oh, what if she's hurt? What if she's hurt someone else? - [snarling.]
- Relax.
That must be her now.
[gasping.]
Oh, look.
These nice liyotes found Gran's pelts.
Oh, that's not right, is it? [sobbing.]
We are gathered here today to say goodbye to Gran Crood.
May she rest in peace, inside the liyote that ate her.
Oh, nothing like faking your own death to teach loved ones a lesson.
- [growling.]
- Find another chew bone.
[whimpering.]
Let me enjoy my family's misery in peace.
[sniffling.]
Gran always told the best stories.
They always ended in someone's horrible death, so it's only fitting that she did, too.
I'll miss you, Gran.
So, to remember you, I'll always wear this.
[yelping.]
I've lost you a second time.
And now, a few words from Gran's ex-boyfriend, Mow.
[clears throat.]
[grunts.]
Wow.
I've never heard Mow open up like that before.
Okay, I'm not gonna lie, Gran and I didn't always get along.
Thank you.
Well, I could stand here all day talking about how much I'll miss Mom.
[cackling.]
But she would want us to move on.
[groans.]
Like bonk I would.
What I want is for you to say I was right and that you feel guilty for ignoring me.
You're right, Mom.
Gran would want us to be happy.
Happy? You really haven't heard a word I've said.
[Thunk.]
Why, why? Oh, now that's more like it.
Why haven't we eaten lunch yet? I'm starving.
[gasps.]
Hmm, still no tears of joy over Gran's death.
What is wrong with me? Whoa, I said "what is wrong with me" and it wasn't followed by an insult.
She really is gone.
Yeah, and it's just not the same without Gran in the sleep pile.
Dad, what happens when we're eaten? Well, only one part of you dies, the outer part.
But there's another part inside.
You mean, like, our guts? No, the inside part is, like, your thoughts.
It's what makes you you.
We call it the "stuff" and the stuff lives on.
Well, can we see Gran's stuff? No, but it feels better just knowing it's out there.
Now let's all go to sleep.
[snoring.]
[gasps.]
Guess they are ready to forget about me.
Well, I'll show 'em.
[Gran wailing.]
Huh? Who's saying "eww"? Ugh, did Sandy wet the sleep pile? I wasn't saying "eww.
" I was saying "whoo", 'cause I'm scary.
Wait, Gran, is that you? No.
Gran is dead.
I'm her stuff.
You ignored Gran in life.
Now her stuff will haunt you in death! Family! This is weird.
Should I be scared? I don't I don't know.
Gran's stuff, should we be afraid of you? Yes.
Fear me! [moans and cries.]
[yawns.]
Well, maybe if we ignore Gran's stuff, it'll get bored and go away.
Sounds like a plan.
'Night.
Oh, yeah? Well, I have not yet begun to haunt! [wailing.]
Look, object falling with no explanation.
[gasps.]
She broke my hunting rock.
[groaning.]
Uh, I mean, I notice nothing.
Mm-hmm.
Hey! I was exiting that.
[wailing.]
Consider yourself haunted.
[Eep grunts.]
Dad! - Okay, this isn't working.
- [wailing.]
When it comes to weird things, we know you're the expert, Old Man Root.
Thanks for dropping everything to help us out.
Ah, let's face it: I look like a talking bush, so my social schedule's pretty wide open.
Yep, you got a stuff problem.
I'm sensing a negative energy right around Oh, what's this idiot doing here? There.
Whoa, he is good! To cleanse this cave, you must show Gran's stuff that it has no power over you.
I suggest you use a sacred chant passed down by our ancestors.
[sing-song.]
"Nah-nah.
I can't hear you.
" Please.
Ha! Like that's gonna work.
[all chanting.]
Nah-nah, we can't hear you.
Nah-nah, we can't hear you.
- Nah-nah, we can't hear you.
- Cut it out.
I'm supposed to be the one annoying you.
[continuing chanting.]
Nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah! - Nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah! - Stop it! You can hear me! [all.]
Nah-nah, no, we can't.
Nah-nah, no, we can't.
Fine.
If you'll only listen to this guy, then I'll talk through him.
She's got me.
Leave me, foul spirit! [muffled groans.]
[growly voice.]
Gran just wants you idiots to pay attention to her.
[screaming.]
This cave's beyond saving.
Get out before she drives you mad! Phew, I thought he'd never leave.
Well, back to tormenting you guys for all eternity.
- [screaming.]
- [wailing.]
Sorry, kids, we can't live here anymore.
I hear the boiling lava pits are nice ish.
You're leavin'? Fine.
I'm sick of hauntin' you anyway.
Good riddance! Eh.
Wait.
You're really leavin'? [sighs.]
I'm gonna miss this old cave.
Yeah, it was like a friend to me.
A friend made of rocks whose tummy we lived in.
[sighs.]
Now inside, it's only Gran's stuff and total darkness.
If Gran were here, she'd say, [imitating Gran.]
"The total darkness is inside Grug's head.
Ha!" [sniffling.]
Grug, this really isn't a good time for your tears of joy.
[weeping.]
They're not happy tears.
They're sad tears.
The only thing that can bring back Gran's stuff is Gran.
[sobbing.]
I wish she was here.
If we'd just listened to her about the liyotes, she wouldn't have been eaten.
It's as if we ate her ourselves, only less gross.
Oh, we should've listened to her dumb ideas more, but now we'll never have the chance.
Yes, you will! Come back.
I'm not really dead.
Free me! Free me! Oh, stupid Gran.
You should've guilt-tripped 'em like always, but no.
Fakin' your death had more pizzazz.
Hey, you, with the jaws of life.
Still wanna chew on this old bone? Oh ho! [screaming.]
Shoo! Gran's stuff lives there, and trust me, you can't handle it.
- [snarling.]
- [grunting.]
[whimpering.]
[gasps.]
Gran's stuff is gone! - [screaming.]
- [coughing.]
Surprise.
I'm not dead, just quite old.
[all.]
Gran! - Gran's alive! - Yay! Who is that body we buried, then? I was just pretending to be dead to teach you all a lesson.
To never trust anyone over 30? That even a grandmother's love has strings attached? No.
To pay attention to your gran, 'cause one day, she won't be around to nag at you.
What? Eventually, I'm movin' to the beach.
You were really gonna miss me, weren't you, Grug? What, this? No, it's seasonal.
All right.
I'm glad you're alive.
Aww, wish I could say the same for you.
[laughing.]
It's good to see everyone happy again.
It should've been Mow! [thunder rumbling.]
[music playing.]
And there.
[gasps.]
Uh, what's that? No, you're the best friend a girl could ask for.
[laughs.]
You are.
[panting.]
- [squeals.]
- [gasps.]
[gasps.]
[grunts.]
[gasps.]
My back-up Eep! I had weird plans for you! [panting.]
Not too much, dear.
Keep it hunter in the front, gatherer in the back.
[panting.]
- [scowling.]
- [shrieks.]
[gasps.]
My hair! Without it, I'm hideous! Why is that little Crood running rampant? She escaped her cheek.
Run, Sandy.
Live for both of us! Hey, great news, everybody.
We caught a buffalippo so huge, it'll feed us all for a week! [mooing.]
I call its cute ears.
- I call its ugly face.
- I call its dainty hooves.
We'll eat every part of the buffalippo! [panting.]
Sandy? Why are you Down, girl, down.
Down! - [giggling.]
- [bellowing.]
My delicious dainty hooves! [panting.]
That Croodling is out of control! My poor hair.
Come on, it'll grow back.
- Probably.
- [yelps.]
And my statue! And my wedding pelt.
And my hand.
She spit it out eventually.
Sure, Sandy's feisty, but that's who she is.
- [growling.]
- See? This is a game we play called "Gnaw On My Face.
" Ow! [nervous laugh.]
She plays for keeps, this one.
[groans.]
[laughs.]
If you Croods can't make your baby behave, I say she should be exiled from the Valley! Now hold on.
Sure, she's a handful, but exile? We only do that for true menaces, like that guy who went around shouting that nonsense word "yolo.
" - [all shuddering.]
- Well, I've had enough.
- Who's with me? - Banish the infant! - Who doesn't love a good exile? - Yolo! Don't worry, baby.
We won't let them exile you.
[cooing.]
[growls.]
Heck, I don't know if you'd let them exile you.
We can get Sandy to behave.
We just need to really enforce the rules with her when she's bad.
Sandy, you were a bad girl today, so no Krispy Bear.
[growling.]
No.
You can have your baby bear carcass back when you behave.
[growls.]
[giggling.]
Uh, maybe just think about what you did.
[sighs.]
No, the problem is you're all treating her like a kid.
Children respond when you talk to them on your level.
Sandra, your conduct is unacceptable.
You need to act more appropriately - [groaning.]
- [giggling.]
[groaning.]
Not appropriate! Now listen.
Aah! Or She doesn't know words, does she? Oh, once again, this whole family's clueless and only I have the answer.
[giggling.]
Sandy's fine.
We just gotta explain that to everyone who wants to exile her, and as we do, Sandy will creep up behind them and - [growling.]
- [giggling.]
[roaring.]
Oh, face it, Croods.
We're out of our league.
What are we gonna do? [nails screeching.]
- [shouts.]
- [shrieks.]
Y'all know Amber.
Amber tame baby for you.
But you're a savage hunter.
I never figured you as good with kids.
[growls.]
Children lot like prey.
Show dominance, they succumb.
Take Amber daughter.
Pat! What, Mom? I was in the middle of making another girl feel insecure.
Amber hot.
Fan Amber now.
What? No.
- You're not the boss of - [growls.]
Amber no see Pat smiling.
[straining.]
[snickering.]
You tell no one about this.
So, want Amber train baby or prefer baby stay hopeless monster? Croods' call.
I don't know.
She's intense.
That stare.
- [yelps.]
- [growls.]
My eyes.
They suddenly really wanna behave.
Look, she is our best chance to keep Sandy from being exiled.
[sighs.]
You're right.
Amber, train baby.
- [grunting.]
- [laughs.]
It okay.
Amber not hurt baby.
Just break baby's spirit like twig.
[laughs.]
Two-to-one says the baby breaks her by sundown.
[gasps.]
[snarling.]
[giggling.]
- [howling.]
- [gasping.]
[panting, howling.]
[slurping.]
- [growls.]
- [quivers.]
- [growls.]
- [growls.]
- [hacking.]
- [shuddering.]
[panting.]
[squeals.]
[Amber growling.]
[growling.]
[whimpers.]
Croods, Amber have good news and bad news.
Good news, baby tame.
And the bad news? Not related to baby.
Why Croods make everything about Croods? Baby, sit.
Good girl.
[gasps.]
Shake.
Good girl.
Club small prey.
[shrieks.]
[yelling.]
Wow! She's a whole new baby.
I can't wait to rub her progress in Snoot's unnaturally pale face.
[laughs.]
Amber even teach baby to clean! I don't know.
She seems less Sandy.
[slurping.]
[gasps.]
But Krispy Bear is Sandy's friend.
You don't eat friends.
[grunts.]
Agree to disagree, but this isn't our Sandy.
Well, she may be different, but she's sure acting less exile-y now, so that's good, right? [slurping.]
[shouting.]
All right, Croods, ready to say goodbye to that pest baby of yours? Only thing we're ready for is to show you we're not ready for that.
I mean He means Sandy is tame now.
Watch.
[laughs.]
This'll be good.
Shoo, shoo! Your house is my hair now.
Stay.
Good girl.
Ooh! Burp.
- [belching.]
- Aah.
Dazzle.
Good girl! [gasping.]
How [chuckles.]
You must've switched babies on us.
[sniffs.]
No, that is Crood stink.
Well, I have one final test for you.
You recaptured the buffalippo? Yes, in that I pointed and told seven hunters to get it for me.
Five survived.
Can you resist the mouth-watering allure of his leathery hide? Bet it tastes good, like raw meat on a hot, sunny day.
[groans.]
- You're my hero! - Go, Sandy! No, I know you're bad.
Maybe you need a closer look.
[groaning.]
[growls.]
[bellowing.]
See? She made it escape.
She hasn't changed.
Exile! Yeah, exile.
- 'Tis a wicked child.
- No way.
You set her up.
You're just mad 'cause she ruined that pile of pigrat dung you call a hairstyle.
How dare you! My hairstyle is timeless.
[Grug.]
Exiling a child is - [voices overlapping.]
- [rumbling.]
- [groaning.]
- [chattering continues.]
[rumbling.]
Thank goodness Sandy took a piece out of it! - Wish she took two.
- [gasps.]
[Snoot scoffs.]
Jealous much? - [laughs.]
- [Gran.]
Unbelievable.
- [panting.]
- She deserves to be exiled.
- [growling.]
- [groaning.]
Oh, my face! My soft, gorgeous face! - Sandy! - There's my girl.
[rumbling.]
[gasping.]
Sandy, you were just leading us away to save our lives.
Thank you.
Well, let's get back to exiling you away forever.
Hey, after that, she clearly deserves to stay, right, everyone? Most babies would've just let you die.
We are never gonna eat that buffalippo's dainty hooves.
[sighs.]
Fine.
Just keep her away from the goods.
- [birds cooing.]
- I told you, you're homeless.
Well, bonk.
Haha, nice one, Sand.
If it weren't for you, we all would've been crushed horribly.
I think this settles it.
We should just let Sandy be Sandy.
Hey, she bit Snoot.
As far as I'm concerned, my little girl can do no wrong.
- [laughing.]
- [howling.]
- [wailing.]
- [mooing.]
Okay, that's enough.
You're drawing blood.
[giggling.]
[belches.]
Yeah! Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum ba-dum