Dead Like Me s02e01 Episode Script
Send in the Clown
When I was alive, I never looked at the obituaries, like, not even once.
Now I read them first.
The reaper's sport pages.
And every time I see someone who lived to even 50, it kind of annoys me.
Was your name ever in the paper ? Constantly.
I still have all the clipping.
I made the police reports a couple of times, you know, unidentified male slender built seen fleeing the premises, that kind of things.
That doesn't count.
What about you, sweetie ? Do tell.
Teen killed by falling debris from space station.
Technically, that was the day after your life.
My demise went unreported.
Drug related deaths in the 60s were very common.
I've gotta go wee-wee.
Was your death reported ? Oh please ! I perished in a huge fire in the set of Gone with the Wind.
Not a word, huh ? Nothing.
The story was buried.
- And three days later - So were you.
But my picture was in the paper a whole lot before I died.
Why ? On the arm of whatever famous man I was sleeping with.
Right.
Not my thing.
- You never slept with anybody ? - No.
Why didn't you ? Well, Daisy, first of all, I was 18 years old.
- Not a good excuse.
- I never had a boyfriend.
- Not really a problem.
- I lived at home with my parents and my little sister.
Never heard of a car ? Is it just my imagination or have I become much more attractive since I've laid of the booze and, you know, whatnot.
Your breath is better.
Your eyes are less puffy.
You don't have as much drool around your mouth which is nice.
Yet the most attractive thing about when you were drinking and whatnot is that you really had no idea if you were attractive.
Because when people know they're attractive, they're not.
And it's not about what's on the outside.
It's not about this, it's about this.
It's about here.
Then he's a very handsome man.
But am I pretty ? Oh you're a darling, you make my heart flutter.
Mine too.
- Really ? - No.
There are souls to be taken, folks.
This morning before breakfast.
One, two.
Three.
Four, five.
Why do I only get one ? Because three doesn't add to five evenly.
What does Roxy get ? Huh, usually Eggs.
Side of fruit.
I was thinking hash browns today.
Nice.
These are all at the farmer's market in exactly 27 minutes.
I smell a disaster.
No, 5 deaths is not a disaster.
How many deaths is a disaster ? More than five.
Five is bullshit.
- How many ? - 16 to 20: disaster.
- 7 and under ? - That's a crying shame.
Pick me up some tomatoes while you're up there.
Sure.
- See you later.
- Goodbye.
- Anything in the paper ? - Two heart attacks and a stroke.
Nice.
Trying to find your reap is kinda like a game of hide and go seek.
Except that when I find you, when I put the tag on you, you're out for good.
Ready or not, you're dead.
Okay, enough with the game.
I haven't had breakfast and momma wants a waffle.
Come out ! Come out ! Wherever you are.
Oh we have a winner.
Thanks boys ! This has been a treat.
I'm done.
Two of the hard hats get it.
Wanna get a latté ? No, you gotta go.
I've got something to do.
It's been two hours now, guys.
I still smell propane.
This is killing my business.
I'm usually swamped by nine.
Today, you're tow up by ten.
You think Eliza Doolittle had to put up with this nonsense ? - Who ? - Audrey Hepburn, sweetheart.
Look at me.
Still waiting for Rex Harrison.
Don't hold your fucking breath.
You see this is who I sell flowers to.
Men who need to apologize for the things they say to women.
And who end up paying for it one way or another.
Pink lilies.
On the house.
My first customer of the day.
Oh great! She can see the guilt written all over me.
Mine too.
I couldn't find it.
Geez ! You people can find Pearl Harbour in the middle of the night but you can't find a gas link! I'm Chinese, cocksucker ! Gravelings fucking troublemakers.
Bodies everywhere.
And a dead flower girl in the middle.
It was like a really fucked up wedding.
She gave me a pretty flower.
And what did I give her ? Nothing.
I took her soul.
I don't know why but I felt like I had betrayed her.
Somehow.
The last time I had seen a death like this was my own.
And I wanted to run away as fast as I could.
Order up ! You know what's best about being sober ? Not waking up in a pool of your own vomit ? Definitely that, yeah.
But no, it's the taste of food.
I mean, after all these years, I've finally realized why you guys eat here.
In da fucking Waffle House.
This is a wise move.
Bacchus has drown many more men than Neptune.
Bacchus ? He's the Greek god of "why don't you read a fucking book?" When did you die ? Nineteen sixty something ? Taking every nasty ass drug you could get your nasty ass pause on for 40 years.
Yeah.
Oh no, no, not everything.
'Cause I was definitely afraid of needles.
And I still am.
They've made great strides in the design of needles.
They're sharper.
- Sharper ? - Sharper is less painful.
Are you gonna finish those hash browns ? Probably not.
Fucking bloody hell ! I'm outta here.
Did you see that ? I mean because I wanted some of her hash browns I was there.
I have never seen such violence over such small potatoes.
Well, that was almost clever.
What was almost clever, Rube ? Thinking hash browns are small potatoes.
I don't get it.
Because hash browns are small potatoes.
Never mind.
- Daisy.
- Roxy.
This weather kinda suits you.
You know, Roxy, I really don't think it does.
Off to work you go.
Why do I even bother with you ? Because I'm one of the few fools who gets you.
Really ? What do you get ? When I go to the pound to pick up a dog, I don't take the one that wags his tail and licks my face and jumps all over me.
I pick the one in the corner.
Alone.
Shaky.
Well, go on.
Get inside where it's warm.
go girl ! - Okay.
- Here you go.
Daisy Adair Chihuahua.
Hello ! Is anyone here ? Reggie ? You know when someone calls your name, you could say "Hi! I'm here ! What's up mom ?" A simple "What is it ?" would suffice.
What is it ? This is how you're gonna spend your school holiday ? Looks that way.
I just saw Bridget and Annie heading down to the park.
Why don't you go catch up with them ? I don't think so.
Give me one good reason.
I don't really like getting baked before noon.
Baked ? Oh - Reggie, I'm not going to - I haven't.
I won't.
Did you ever catch your sister doing stuff ? No.
Did you ? No.
Never.
I don't think your sister smoked pot.
I searched constantly.
All what Georgia ever did was pretty much what you're doing right now.
Whatever.
Mom.
Your father and I have another doctor's appointment.
Stay out of the park.
I better not see any cherry stains on those cushions.
It's not a real doctor.
It's a shrink.
Rube didn't want me lurking around my old house.
He didn't want me spying on my family.
He says that a reaper should be like a soldier in a foxhole.
Lay low, don't be a hero, don't take any unnecessary risk.
What's the point of keeping your head down once it's already been blown off ? How did it go this morning ? Ah ! Real fun ! Try to get me another one like that real soon.
How about a breakfast ? I'll have the Johnny Vegas over easy and a small grapefruit juice.
You could hear the explosion all the way over here.
The Johnny Vegas comes with a side.
That was disgusting.
Her body was blown to pieces.
Her brain was cottage cheese.
Pretty flower.
- Did someone betray you ? - What ? Did some guy screw you over ? I thought we had decided that you and romantic entanglements were It's not a good idea.
And I thought George was a virgin.
What? No! No guy.
And who told you I was a virgin, did you tell him that ? - No.
- Yes, she did.
It's just a flower.
Fuck ! I only got flowers when somebody betrayed me.
I didn't betray anyone.
Sure didn't say you did.
It takes like ass.
Try that.
I'm trying to stay off the ice juice but thank you.
You know who sent beautiful flowers, French tulips ? I'll just give you his initials Douglas Fairbanks Jr.
Errol Flynn, all that money Carnations.
Cannot sit here and listen to more witless stories about star fucking.
You and you.
Let's go.
Rube ! Sorry.
But I've got to finish Roxy's breakfast.
Here.
Why don't you take it to go ? It's a disgusting habit, eating off someone's plate.
You wanna be an ex-drug addict ? Why don't you behave like one, huh ? Crazy fucking fuck ! How I wish the words would roll out my tongue as they do yours! Another outdoor death ! My lips are getting so chapped.
Roxy says I look like a dog.
I didn't betray him.
Do I look like some kind of stray that needs to be saved ? I'm really pretty, don't you think ? I need verbal reassurance.
You're not a dog.
- Say the thing.
- You're really pretty.
Say the whole thing ! You're the most exquisite beauty the world has ever seen.
I gotta go.
What about your breakfast ? I don't want it.
Forgot your flower.
I don't want it.
I did want it.
I just didn't feel like carrying around the reminder of my morning death the rest of my day.
Hi, Crystal! Which is why it wasn't so bad walking into Happy Time.
Where the only thing ever written on a post-it note was stuff like "Who farted ?" and "Ten copies A.
S.
A.
P.
" and "Please see me.
" Oh Millie ! - Dolores ? - I got news.
Bad news.
I have to hire my boss' nephew.
I'm sorry, Millie, but this boy, Brennan, has had a world of trouble finding a job.
You're firing me ? You're shitcanning me just like that ? No ! Why would you think that ? Bad news, boss' nephew.
Seemed where you were headed.
I want you to train him, Millie.
And I don't care for the language.
Although I do kind of like that phrase.
Shitcan Shitcan That's the bad news ? I have to train someone ? No, the bad news is as dumb as a bag of hammers.
I'm starting him on reception.
Just show him the phone system.
I'd ask Crystal but she's not a people person.
No more trainee, Dolores.
I can't take it.
Yeah ? Hi! The phone is not working.
Dial 9 first.
I'm Brennan.
I'm training you.
Sweet! Should I go do it now ? No time like the present, go.
Oh Millie.
I would never shitcan you.
You're very special to me.
Come here.
Can't send you into the world with schmutz over your face.
Don't go! Stop! Go! You had to wonder about Dolores Herbig and her big strange heart.
You had to wonder about how long that schmutz has been on my face.
that schmutz or schmütz.
So how was your week ? It was good.
I think we had a good week.
Joy ? Well, I find myself getting really disgusted when he eats.
I mean physically sick.
That's nice.
I think the walls of his cheeks have gotten too thin as he's gotten older because you're gonna ear the crunching and the spitting and the swallowing.
I swear to God I'm easing off salad, I wanna take my own life.
I'm standing in a grocery store the other day.
And I'm holding a head iceberg lettuce and I just can't even buy the fucking thing.
What would you like me to do Joy ? It'd be nice if you ate in the kitchen with the dog.
At least he's capable of love.
JD doesn't love you.
You give him meat.
- At least one of us is getting it.
- Okay.
I think for this to work you two need to be a little less honest with each other.
We actually had that in our vows but we took that out at the last minute.
You've been married for over 20 years ? Things have happened and you know that things have happened.
Like when he started banging someone in one of his Shakespeare class ? That kind of thing ? You know Joy if may be you could stop wisecracking for 2 seconds.
You hear that ? Wisecracking.
Who talks like that ? For a marriage to work, you have to conspire with your partner to not say everything.
You know things aren't perfect and you don't hammer away of it out of respect for the marriage.
For a marriage to work, you and your husband have to be in cahoots.
In cahoots ? Marriage is a silent conspiracy between two people to not confess everything.
To let sleeping dogs lie.
I like that.
I bet you do.
And that's worked for you marriage ? I think it has.
My wife and I, we've been in cahoots for 10 years.
So does that mean she does or doesn't know that you're gay ? She probably knows.
Meter people! Meter people! Let's settle down! Let's settle down! Alright! Alright! Item 1: Chuck's Char-Broiled around Mandeville is starting a lunch special today.
Burgers, fries and soda for 59 cents.
Those of you working Mandeville and its environs, expected 3 light backups and plenty of red zones violations.
German shepherd on a sauce sesame seed bun.
Moving on.
We've received complaints form some of the Citizenry about inappropriate language, aggressive behavior.
And in one instance, that a member of this corps pulled a firearm.
People, in a world of increasing hostility, your job as always is to placate.
To meet anger with stoicism.
In short, no more mouthing off.
If you cannot do that, If you cannot hold your tongue, then you should seek another line of work.
Okay.
Let's roll! And people! People ! Let's be careful out there.
Okay, so if you wanna dial someone in the office, you I totally know this one.
Look at those lips! I just wanna bite your face! You dial their extension first.
I wanna tear your skin off, make pajamas out of them and wear them to bed! Excellent! Should I answer it ? Let's give that a whirl.
Okay.
Happy Time.
Millie's phone.
This is Brennan.
- Good start.
- It's for you.
Ask who it is.
Who is it ? Daisy.
Daisy Adair.
Hi Daisy.
Yeah.
Millies training me.
She's awesome.
She's got the most beautiful eyes.
What do I do ? - Put Daisy, Daisy Adair on hold.
- okay.
You should probably ask Daisy to hold first.
- Hello ? - Okay, click over.
Click click what back over ? What ? Hello ? Hello ? Okay, they'll call back.
Do you wanna hang out tonight ? Yes! You know I don't do kids, this is your post-it.
Please just help me find L.
Sondheim then you can go, okay? I wanna strangle him, I really do.
I just wanna kill him.
Is your name L.
Sondheim by any chance ? Come on, there will little cupcakes and little whipped cream on them.
Ten minutes.
Here, come on, buddy.
Come on.
Let's go! Let's go! There you go.
Have a good time.
Cesar! Cesar! Can I help you ? Yeah, we're here for the, you know, the little kids party.
Please tell me you're from the clown service.
We're from the clown service.
The clown finally showed up.
Which one of you is the clown ? I think it's pretty obvious.
You see the frail, indecisive looking man in the plyed shirt.
That's my husband.
He's got you money.
Go! Go! go! You were supposed to be in costume 20 minutes ago.
I really hate clowns.
When I was 5 years old, I kicked one in the nuts.
That man over there wants to give you some money.
But if one little kid were to take a poke on me, I will punch each back.
I swear to God I will kick his little fucking teeth out.
Clown! He's not one of those angry alcoholic clowns, is he ? No, actually, he just wore off boozes.
Strictly stealth water over the last few weeks.
All that stealth water would make any clown little angry.
- I don't get it.
- There was nothing to get.
You cannot go out with this Brennan guy.
It would never work.
You're a Taurus, he's a Gemini.
He's Lutheran, you're dead.
You have to weasel your way out of this.
You have to tell him no.
Oh my God! Some slut is stealing my boyfriend! Millie! Come on! Come! Come! Come! How would you like to be in charge of another special project ? As in training someone else with special needs ? Oh! How did it go with Brennan and the phone system ? He went a little ADD on me when I tried to show him how to use a speakerphone.
This afternoon, we're gonna try transferring calls.
You seem a little distracted.
Oh Fran! Have you no shame ? Please tell me you don't have a crush on that simple boy! I don't.
Just give me the project, Dolores.
These are top-secret files.
- Shred them.
- Got him.
They'll sleep with the fishes.
You know, office romances never end well.
When Julio empties my trash basket, he can barely make eye contact.
That's upsetting.
- And that boy here.
- I know, I know Look, you are still a baby.
You have your whole life ahead of you to find the right person, something that will really last.
I'm a virgin with a death certificate.
What the fuck am I waiting for ? The sound of my eating makes you physically sick ? Oh yeah that's right You save your best shots for an audience.
You know what, Clancy ? You don't have to listen to it every night.
You know what, Joy ? You don't have to listen to it at all.
You don't have to listen to it ever again.
What does that mean ? What does that mean ? Joy Do you wanna be married to me ? I don't.
Waiting for the right boy to come along.
Right, Dolores.
Although my body had been declared dead, it hadn't gone old.
Fucking What happened ? It's nothing.
It's just a cut.
I'm fine.
- You're okay ? - Yeah.
Hey ! Actually, I'm feeling a little lousy I'll get you some water.
Here you go, Emily.
- This isn't a bunny rabbit.
- Yes, it is.
Look, there he is.
What is it really ? Go ask your mother.
I want a bunny rabbit balloon like Emily's.
I bet you do, sweetheart.
Clowns aren't supposed to talk.
Yes, they are.
Clowns talk.
Mimes can't but clowns can definitely fucking talk, alright ? Not true.
Some clowns talk, some make talking noises.
Do me a favor.
Give me a piece of cake.
I want a bunny rabbit balloon.
When I see some cake.
You gotta move on.
Please don't hump me on the frosting.
Stupid ! Hey ! Can I talk to you for a second ? Yeah.
This is my kid's party and this isn't a bunny rabbit.
- Yes, sorry Mr.
? - Sondheim.
Lloyd.
Look Don't you have other stuff you can do ? Any magic tricks ? Yeah, I've got one or two.
Well, use them.
This is the only 6th birthday my daughter will ever have.
Here, drink some more water.
I don't know why I liked him.
Maybe just because that slut Fran did.
But I think it had something to do with my death this morning.
I couldn't get that strange pink flower out of my head.
I felt as if something was hanging by a thread.
Not just my finger.
And I had to try to hold on to it.
Have another sip.
I feel better.
What are you ? Following me, Blondie ? Don't flatter yourself, I have a post-it.
C.
Sullivan.
Luck of the Irish.
Greedy fucking Americans! I put a curse on you.
May you never walk the Earth in happiness again! Sir, that voodoo shit don't play with me, comprende ? Fuck you! Piece of shit! Little meter maid! Fuck your balls.
Let's go! Bring it on! Gloves off! Boss man says I can't.
I can't mouth off.
Roxy can't mouth off ? You're like a bird without a song.
A really mean bird.
Roxy Why did you say I looked like a dog who needed to be saved from the pound ? Don't do this to me, Daisy.
I was just tired.
I didn't sleep well.
I had a bad dream.
Flying, swimming and running from monsters, it all means the same thing.
No pot tarts after 10.
It was my first day on the set of Gone with the wind.
And you die, I know that story.
In my dream, I'm about to meet one of my idols, Vivien Leigh.
Dreamt about it my whole life.
I was really worried, you know.
What if we don't get along ? What if she hates me ? Worse yet What if she ignores me ? That will teach them to mess with Catherine Sullivan.
But in my dream, it's wonderful.
She runs through a hall as god is my witness.
I'll never be angry again.
I'll tell her it's a touch over the top and she says I'm right.
We just gossip and giggle like long lost sisters.
So that's why I was a little out of it this morning.
It was a rough dream.
What is so rough about that dream ? It never happened.
I died before I met her.
Shut up out there.
It'll only be a minute.
Bloody hell.
I do believe this is a symbol for "aim here".
Wow! I find that comment violent contemptible.
Let's say you're sorry.
I'm sorry, Rube.
I'm sorry you're a 100 years old and you'll never get to spank that.
- Make a funny face.
- No! Go away.
Give the kid a face.
It's her birthday.
He's funny.
Yes, he is.
Are you the clown's daddy ? No.
Then why are you here ? I'm somebody's daddy.
She's just not at this party.
And where is she ? Why don't you play with the clown, sweetheart ? I want you to remember how funny he was, okay ? My day had started with a death.
The first sign of trouble was all those bright orange pylons around the gas leak.
You put them when you wanna keep people at a distance.
That's what I needed now.
Lots and lots of orange pylons.
How did it go ? How did what go ? Making out with Brennan ? Severing my middle finger ? Putting it back on without letting everyone know I was a grim reaper ? It went well.
I heard you cut yourself.
It's nothing.
You just need to take better care of yourself, Millie.
The world is a dangerous place.
It's an easy place for a young girl to get hurt.
I'm fine.
I think I'm gonna pull you off Brennan.
Well, I was never really on Brennan.
You're smart, you're charming.
You're a very complicated young woman and I just don't like to see your talent wasted on projects like Brennan.
What are we talking about ? We're talking about a promotion, you silly goose.
We are ? Oh I think we are.
Two more days a week and two hundred dollars more a week.
You're shitting me ? Your new position at Happy Time will be to, huh, interview potential temps.
We're frittering away your talents at data entry.
And training boys like Brennan, that's a waste of your time.
Do we understand each other ? I won't let you down.
That's a joke ! Since I just got promoted, I just thought you two should know that I take my coffee with a little milk, two sugars and a lot less of your bullshit.
- I hate her.
- What a bitch! Don't even turn to see the wreckage.
Can you describe the other kid ? What the hell ? The other kid was a little taller than this one.
Slender built, baggy jeans.
He had on a black sweatshirt with some gang gang bull on the back of it.
And then he headed North.
He was pretty banged up to.
What's your name ? Roxy.
You're the one who close on this kid ? I like your style.
You got the wrong job, Roxy.
I ain't got nothing but wrong jobs.
So do you guys just, like, hate each other's guts ? No, your mother and I don't hate each other.
We love each other very much.
- We just - We just can't live together.
But we both love you.
And even though others things will change, that won't.
You know, Regg', it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling.
Don't be afraid to have feelings.
What are your feelings, sweetheart ? I'm a little hungry.
So which one of you gets Well, your mother and I haven't exactly worked that out but I know your mom wants you to Who gets JD ? Well, sweetheart, JD is your dog.
But I'm sure if you wanna lend him to your dad every now and then, you know.
I'm sure he'd appreciate it.
Titia Carter's parents got a divorce and her dad got this really cheesy condo.
Shag carpeting and mirrors everywhere.
Well, I'm not gonna get a cheesy condo, Reggie.
You have to get a backyard.
For JD.
We'll see, sweetie.
Most sorority houses do come with backyards.
You just can't leave it alone.
You just can't help yourself.
Great! I can't help myself.
You've been tapping little Mrs.
Kappa Kappa Gamma's keg for a year now.
Did it ever occur to you that maybe you pushed me in that direction ? Oh really! Poor you! Please enlighten me! That's the way that you drive everyone around you away.
You did the same thing to George.
You wanted her out of this house.
You wanted her gone and now she's gone.
Get out.
Get out! Get out of this house right now or I will scream! My parents took me and my little sister to the circus every year.
I like the trapeze artists the best.
The flying Wallendas or whatever they were called.
Not the death defying stuff, the midair quadruple flips and near misses.
I covered my eyes for that.
What I liked was part of the end, when they bounce into the net and jumped up with that big Wallenda smile.
The "tada!" part.
Tada! I love that.
It meant "I'm safe".
Hi! Hi.
I can't go out with you tonight.
Okay.
Maybe some other time.
I don't I don't know.
Okay.
That's cool, you know.
Just hang on to my phone number.
Okay.
Hopefully, I'll see around some time.
Well, we work in the same office.
Yeah.
Does it hurt ? Your finger No.
Good.
Good, I'm glad.
Thank you.
Tada! That was the thing with the Wallendas.
Why I always covered my eyes until it was over.
Eventually one of them's gotta fall.
Daddy, it's not breaking! I know, sweetheart.
Hey, Eddy.
Finish this.
Oh man! Try not to kill anyone.
Daddy! Daddy! It's still not breaking! Sweetie The piñata is gonna crack open.
You'll get your candy.
Has daddy ever let you down before ? - No.
- No I'll bring it right back.
Knock it out.
- Am I dead? - Yeah.
Yeah, you're dead.
Who are you ? Ma.
.
Mason.
You're not the clown ? I'm no fucking clown.
What were you doing here ? I was I took your soul before you, you know And now I'm supposed to escort you to your lights.
No, what were you doing ? You made obscene balloon animals for my daughter.
You insulted all my guests.
And the whole time you knew I was gonna die.
This is a joke ? This is how she'll remember her birthday ? Do you wanna come with me ? I'll take you to your lights, alright ? Stay away from me! Stay away from my family! Just.
.
just go! Life always seemed to be about two things: feeling bad and then feeling better.
For me, the feeling bad part came pretty easy.
But the feeling better part, how to make myself feel better, I never got that part down.
These are too soft, always break.
I keep telling you to buy the number fours but you don't listen.
What's with the sad face ? Some sad story.
Rent's due, job sucks, cat's pregnant.
You haven't seen Mason lately, have you ? Tiffany, can I get some coffee please ? Why do you drink coffee so late ? You don't sleep as it is.
Make that an espresso.
Thank you.
Little Mrs.
Cranky Pants Whatever haunts your soul at this moment, whatever need you feel to make some kind of a statement or question my authority and Is it something I did ? Nothing's wrong.
I got a promotion.
What kind of promotion did you get ? Two more big bills a week.
I joined the police academy.
No, you didn't.
Yes, she did.
They want more days these Happy Time people.
I think you should decline the offer.
Fuck that! It's done.
I'm doing it.
Roxy, give us a moment, will you ? Why can't I do this ? I'm doing this.
She's joining the fucking police academy.
Roxy's not you concern.
I'm just worried that you're taking on too much.
People love to take roses and they forget about the thorns.
Okay, now that's really beautiful but I'm taking the promotion.
I wouldn't do that.
What did she do now ? Nice cross.
Had any trouble getting the blood off ? No, just soap and water.
I just think you should go there tomorrow morning and tell that Dolores woman "thank you" but no.
I want to do this.
I want more money.
I want, I want - Look, peanut.
- Don't call me that.
I just think all that want thing is not so good at this point.
That's all I have to say about your promotion.
Well, as mush as I've enjoyed this little pow wow, I think I'm just going to do what I'm going to do.
Mrs.
! Your espresso ? I don't want it.
We made it.
Somebody's gotta pay for it.
She's a cop.
Don't they get everything for free ? I thought you were a meter maid.
Well, I'm a cop now.
Good for you, baby.
Coffee's free for cops.
Un-fucking-real! What do you mean "you're a cop" ? I joined the police academy this afternoon.
Yeah, I don't think I care for that.
Hey there, Mr.
Frog.
How was your day ? Mine was fucked up.
My flower.
I thought you might want it.
So who was that boy on the phone today ? Brendan.
- Brennan.
- Brennan.
Who's Brennan who thinks you have beautiful eyes ? Nobody.
- Okay, I kissed him! - And ? - And ? - What was the kiss like ? It's not too late to call him, you know.
I'm not gonna call him.
Dolores doesn't want me getting involved with anyone at Happy Time.
Besides he's not my type.
Not even close.
He's a pretty boy.
It's obvious.
Go to bed, Daisy.
So Rube doesn't want you at Happy time.
That makes you unhappy.
Dolores wants you at Happy Time but just so long as you're unhappy.
It just sounds like a plan.
Life sucks and then you die.
And then it still sucks.
What's with the cross ? I don't know I like it.
What are you like catholic now ? Yeah.
Why not ? Good for you! - You're so angry.
- And you're not ? Listen to me, I died in 1938 and there is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder the things I did, things I didn't do.
I know and you were going to a great actress and you're beautiful and talented and you slept with all the men under the moon.
Stop making fun of me.
Just shut up for once.
You think you know everything ? Look how unhappy you are! I'm sorry you were so young when you died, Georgia.
Good night.
I knew who that pink flower was for.
I knew who I betrayed.
My short life was like our family outings to the circus.
It wasn't so bad.
A bit with a clown, some cotton candy And just as things got interesting, I covered my eyes.
I know what that Wallenda smile at the end was about, why they were so happy with their midair flips and near misses.
They were happy because they were brave enough to be themselves.
I mean if you're a Wallenda, you have to climb up that ladder, you have to grab that trapeze bar.
If you're a Wallenda, you have to jump off eyes wide open.
Now I read them first.
The reaper's sport pages.
And every time I see someone who lived to even 50, it kind of annoys me.
Was your name ever in the paper ? Constantly.
I still have all the clipping.
I made the police reports a couple of times, you know, unidentified male slender built seen fleeing the premises, that kind of things.
That doesn't count.
What about you, sweetie ? Do tell.
Teen killed by falling debris from space station.
Technically, that was the day after your life.
My demise went unreported.
Drug related deaths in the 60s were very common.
I've gotta go wee-wee.
Was your death reported ? Oh please ! I perished in a huge fire in the set of Gone with the Wind.
Not a word, huh ? Nothing.
The story was buried.
- And three days later - So were you.
But my picture was in the paper a whole lot before I died.
Why ? On the arm of whatever famous man I was sleeping with.
Right.
Not my thing.
- You never slept with anybody ? - No.
Why didn't you ? Well, Daisy, first of all, I was 18 years old.
- Not a good excuse.
- I never had a boyfriend.
- Not really a problem.
- I lived at home with my parents and my little sister.
Never heard of a car ? Is it just my imagination or have I become much more attractive since I've laid of the booze and, you know, whatnot.
Your breath is better.
Your eyes are less puffy.
You don't have as much drool around your mouth which is nice.
Yet the most attractive thing about when you were drinking and whatnot is that you really had no idea if you were attractive.
Because when people know they're attractive, they're not.
And it's not about what's on the outside.
It's not about this, it's about this.
It's about here.
Then he's a very handsome man.
But am I pretty ? Oh you're a darling, you make my heart flutter.
Mine too.
- Really ? - No.
There are souls to be taken, folks.
This morning before breakfast.
One, two.
Three.
Four, five.
Why do I only get one ? Because three doesn't add to five evenly.
What does Roxy get ? Huh, usually Eggs.
Side of fruit.
I was thinking hash browns today.
Nice.
These are all at the farmer's market in exactly 27 minutes.
I smell a disaster.
No, 5 deaths is not a disaster.
How many deaths is a disaster ? More than five.
Five is bullshit.
- How many ? - 16 to 20: disaster.
- 7 and under ? - That's a crying shame.
Pick me up some tomatoes while you're up there.
Sure.
- See you later.
- Goodbye.
- Anything in the paper ? - Two heart attacks and a stroke.
Nice.
Trying to find your reap is kinda like a game of hide and go seek.
Except that when I find you, when I put the tag on you, you're out for good.
Ready or not, you're dead.
Okay, enough with the game.
I haven't had breakfast and momma wants a waffle.
Come out ! Come out ! Wherever you are.
Oh we have a winner.
Thanks boys ! This has been a treat.
I'm done.
Two of the hard hats get it.
Wanna get a latté ? No, you gotta go.
I've got something to do.
It's been two hours now, guys.
I still smell propane.
This is killing my business.
I'm usually swamped by nine.
Today, you're tow up by ten.
You think Eliza Doolittle had to put up with this nonsense ? - Who ? - Audrey Hepburn, sweetheart.
Look at me.
Still waiting for Rex Harrison.
Don't hold your fucking breath.
You see this is who I sell flowers to.
Men who need to apologize for the things they say to women.
And who end up paying for it one way or another.
Pink lilies.
On the house.
My first customer of the day.
Oh great! She can see the guilt written all over me.
Mine too.
I couldn't find it.
Geez ! You people can find Pearl Harbour in the middle of the night but you can't find a gas link! I'm Chinese, cocksucker ! Gravelings fucking troublemakers.
Bodies everywhere.
And a dead flower girl in the middle.
It was like a really fucked up wedding.
She gave me a pretty flower.
And what did I give her ? Nothing.
I took her soul.
I don't know why but I felt like I had betrayed her.
Somehow.
The last time I had seen a death like this was my own.
And I wanted to run away as fast as I could.
Order up ! You know what's best about being sober ? Not waking up in a pool of your own vomit ? Definitely that, yeah.
But no, it's the taste of food.
I mean, after all these years, I've finally realized why you guys eat here.
In da fucking Waffle House.
This is a wise move.
Bacchus has drown many more men than Neptune.
Bacchus ? He's the Greek god of "why don't you read a fucking book?" When did you die ? Nineteen sixty something ? Taking every nasty ass drug you could get your nasty ass pause on for 40 years.
Yeah.
Oh no, no, not everything.
'Cause I was definitely afraid of needles.
And I still am.
They've made great strides in the design of needles.
They're sharper.
- Sharper ? - Sharper is less painful.
Are you gonna finish those hash browns ? Probably not.
Fucking bloody hell ! I'm outta here.
Did you see that ? I mean because I wanted some of her hash browns I was there.
I have never seen such violence over such small potatoes.
Well, that was almost clever.
What was almost clever, Rube ? Thinking hash browns are small potatoes.
I don't get it.
Because hash browns are small potatoes.
Never mind.
- Daisy.
- Roxy.
This weather kinda suits you.
You know, Roxy, I really don't think it does.
Off to work you go.
Why do I even bother with you ? Because I'm one of the few fools who gets you.
Really ? What do you get ? When I go to the pound to pick up a dog, I don't take the one that wags his tail and licks my face and jumps all over me.
I pick the one in the corner.
Alone.
Shaky.
Well, go on.
Get inside where it's warm.
go girl ! - Okay.
- Here you go.
Daisy Adair Chihuahua.
Hello ! Is anyone here ? Reggie ? You know when someone calls your name, you could say "Hi! I'm here ! What's up mom ?" A simple "What is it ?" would suffice.
What is it ? This is how you're gonna spend your school holiday ? Looks that way.
I just saw Bridget and Annie heading down to the park.
Why don't you go catch up with them ? I don't think so.
Give me one good reason.
I don't really like getting baked before noon.
Baked ? Oh - Reggie, I'm not going to - I haven't.
I won't.
Did you ever catch your sister doing stuff ? No.
Did you ? No.
Never.
I don't think your sister smoked pot.
I searched constantly.
All what Georgia ever did was pretty much what you're doing right now.
Whatever.
Mom.
Your father and I have another doctor's appointment.
Stay out of the park.
I better not see any cherry stains on those cushions.
It's not a real doctor.
It's a shrink.
Rube didn't want me lurking around my old house.
He didn't want me spying on my family.
He says that a reaper should be like a soldier in a foxhole.
Lay low, don't be a hero, don't take any unnecessary risk.
What's the point of keeping your head down once it's already been blown off ? How did it go this morning ? Ah ! Real fun ! Try to get me another one like that real soon.
How about a breakfast ? I'll have the Johnny Vegas over easy and a small grapefruit juice.
You could hear the explosion all the way over here.
The Johnny Vegas comes with a side.
That was disgusting.
Her body was blown to pieces.
Her brain was cottage cheese.
Pretty flower.
- Did someone betray you ? - What ? Did some guy screw you over ? I thought we had decided that you and romantic entanglements were It's not a good idea.
And I thought George was a virgin.
What? No! No guy.
And who told you I was a virgin, did you tell him that ? - No.
- Yes, she did.
It's just a flower.
Fuck ! I only got flowers when somebody betrayed me.
I didn't betray anyone.
Sure didn't say you did.
It takes like ass.
Try that.
I'm trying to stay off the ice juice but thank you.
You know who sent beautiful flowers, French tulips ? I'll just give you his initials Douglas Fairbanks Jr.
Errol Flynn, all that money Carnations.
Cannot sit here and listen to more witless stories about star fucking.
You and you.
Let's go.
Rube ! Sorry.
But I've got to finish Roxy's breakfast.
Here.
Why don't you take it to go ? It's a disgusting habit, eating off someone's plate.
You wanna be an ex-drug addict ? Why don't you behave like one, huh ? Crazy fucking fuck ! How I wish the words would roll out my tongue as they do yours! Another outdoor death ! My lips are getting so chapped.
Roxy says I look like a dog.
I didn't betray him.
Do I look like some kind of stray that needs to be saved ? I'm really pretty, don't you think ? I need verbal reassurance.
You're not a dog.
- Say the thing.
- You're really pretty.
Say the whole thing ! You're the most exquisite beauty the world has ever seen.
I gotta go.
What about your breakfast ? I don't want it.
Forgot your flower.
I don't want it.
I did want it.
I just didn't feel like carrying around the reminder of my morning death the rest of my day.
Hi, Crystal! Which is why it wasn't so bad walking into Happy Time.
Where the only thing ever written on a post-it note was stuff like "Who farted ?" and "Ten copies A.
S.
A.
P.
" and "Please see me.
" Oh Millie ! - Dolores ? - I got news.
Bad news.
I have to hire my boss' nephew.
I'm sorry, Millie, but this boy, Brennan, has had a world of trouble finding a job.
You're firing me ? You're shitcanning me just like that ? No ! Why would you think that ? Bad news, boss' nephew.
Seemed where you were headed.
I want you to train him, Millie.
And I don't care for the language.
Although I do kind of like that phrase.
Shitcan Shitcan That's the bad news ? I have to train someone ? No, the bad news is as dumb as a bag of hammers.
I'm starting him on reception.
Just show him the phone system.
I'd ask Crystal but she's not a people person.
No more trainee, Dolores.
I can't take it.
Yeah ? Hi! The phone is not working.
Dial 9 first.
I'm Brennan.
I'm training you.
Sweet! Should I go do it now ? No time like the present, go.
Oh Millie.
I would never shitcan you.
You're very special to me.
Come here.
Can't send you into the world with schmutz over your face.
Don't go! Stop! Go! You had to wonder about Dolores Herbig and her big strange heart.
You had to wonder about how long that schmutz has been on my face.
that schmutz or schmütz.
So how was your week ? It was good.
I think we had a good week.
Joy ? Well, I find myself getting really disgusted when he eats.
I mean physically sick.
That's nice.
I think the walls of his cheeks have gotten too thin as he's gotten older because you're gonna ear the crunching and the spitting and the swallowing.
I swear to God I'm easing off salad, I wanna take my own life.
I'm standing in a grocery store the other day.
And I'm holding a head iceberg lettuce and I just can't even buy the fucking thing.
What would you like me to do Joy ? It'd be nice if you ate in the kitchen with the dog.
At least he's capable of love.
JD doesn't love you.
You give him meat.
- At least one of us is getting it.
- Okay.
I think for this to work you two need to be a little less honest with each other.
We actually had that in our vows but we took that out at the last minute.
You've been married for over 20 years ? Things have happened and you know that things have happened.
Like when he started banging someone in one of his Shakespeare class ? That kind of thing ? You know Joy if may be you could stop wisecracking for 2 seconds.
You hear that ? Wisecracking.
Who talks like that ? For a marriage to work, you have to conspire with your partner to not say everything.
You know things aren't perfect and you don't hammer away of it out of respect for the marriage.
For a marriage to work, you and your husband have to be in cahoots.
In cahoots ? Marriage is a silent conspiracy between two people to not confess everything.
To let sleeping dogs lie.
I like that.
I bet you do.
And that's worked for you marriage ? I think it has.
My wife and I, we've been in cahoots for 10 years.
So does that mean she does or doesn't know that you're gay ? She probably knows.
Meter people! Meter people! Let's settle down! Let's settle down! Alright! Alright! Item 1: Chuck's Char-Broiled around Mandeville is starting a lunch special today.
Burgers, fries and soda for 59 cents.
Those of you working Mandeville and its environs, expected 3 light backups and plenty of red zones violations.
German shepherd on a sauce sesame seed bun.
Moving on.
We've received complaints form some of the Citizenry about inappropriate language, aggressive behavior.
And in one instance, that a member of this corps pulled a firearm.
People, in a world of increasing hostility, your job as always is to placate.
To meet anger with stoicism.
In short, no more mouthing off.
If you cannot do that, If you cannot hold your tongue, then you should seek another line of work.
Okay.
Let's roll! And people! People ! Let's be careful out there.
Okay, so if you wanna dial someone in the office, you I totally know this one.
Look at those lips! I just wanna bite your face! You dial their extension first.
I wanna tear your skin off, make pajamas out of them and wear them to bed! Excellent! Should I answer it ? Let's give that a whirl.
Okay.
Happy Time.
Millie's phone.
This is Brennan.
- Good start.
- It's for you.
Ask who it is.
Who is it ? Daisy.
Daisy Adair.
Hi Daisy.
Yeah.
Millies training me.
She's awesome.
She's got the most beautiful eyes.
What do I do ? - Put Daisy, Daisy Adair on hold.
- okay.
You should probably ask Daisy to hold first.
- Hello ? - Okay, click over.
Click click what back over ? What ? Hello ? Hello ? Okay, they'll call back.
Do you wanna hang out tonight ? Yes! You know I don't do kids, this is your post-it.
Please just help me find L.
Sondheim then you can go, okay? I wanna strangle him, I really do.
I just wanna kill him.
Is your name L.
Sondheim by any chance ? Come on, there will little cupcakes and little whipped cream on them.
Ten minutes.
Here, come on, buddy.
Come on.
Let's go! Let's go! There you go.
Have a good time.
Cesar! Cesar! Can I help you ? Yeah, we're here for the, you know, the little kids party.
Please tell me you're from the clown service.
We're from the clown service.
The clown finally showed up.
Which one of you is the clown ? I think it's pretty obvious.
You see the frail, indecisive looking man in the plyed shirt.
That's my husband.
He's got you money.
Go! Go! go! You were supposed to be in costume 20 minutes ago.
I really hate clowns.
When I was 5 years old, I kicked one in the nuts.
That man over there wants to give you some money.
But if one little kid were to take a poke on me, I will punch each back.
I swear to God I will kick his little fucking teeth out.
Clown! He's not one of those angry alcoholic clowns, is he ? No, actually, he just wore off boozes.
Strictly stealth water over the last few weeks.
All that stealth water would make any clown little angry.
- I don't get it.
- There was nothing to get.
You cannot go out with this Brennan guy.
It would never work.
You're a Taurus, he's a Gemini.
He's Lutheran, you're dead.
You have to weasel your way out of this.
You have to tell him no.
Oh my God! Some slut is stealing my boyfriend! Millie! Come on! Come! Come! Come! How would you like to be in charge of another special project ? As in training someone else with special needs ? Oh! How did it go with Brennan and the phone system ? He went a little ADD on me when I tried to show him how to use a speakerphone.
This afternoon, we're gonna try transferring calls.
You seem a little distracted.
Oh Fran! Have you no shame ? Please tell me you don't have a crush on that simple boy! I don't.
Just give me the project, Dolores.
These are top-secret files.
- Shred them.
- Got him.
They'll sleep with the fishes.
You know, office romances never end well.
When Julio empties my trash basket, he can barely make eye contact.
That's upsetting.
- And that boy here.
- I know, I know Look, you are still a baby.
You have your whole life ahead of you to find the right person, something that will really last.
I'm a virgin with a death certificate.
What the fuck am I waiting for ? The sound of my eating makes you physically sick ? Oh yeah that's right You save your best shots for an audience.
You know what, Clancy ? You don't have to listen to it every night.
You know what, Joy ? You don't have to listen to it at all.
You don't have to listen to it ever again.
What does that mean ? What does that mean ? Joy Do you wanna be married to me ? I don't.
Waiting for the right boy to come along.
Right, Dolores.
Although my body had been declared dead, it hadn't gone old.
Fucking What happened ? It's nothing.
It's just a cut.
I'm fine.
- You're okay ? - Yeah.
Hey ! Actually, I'm feeling a little lousy I'll get you some water.
Here you go, Emily.
- This isn't a bunny rabbit.
- Yes, it is.
Look, there he is.
What is it really ? Go ask your mother.
I want a bunny rabbit balloon like Emily's.
I bet you do, sweetheart.
Clowns aren't supposed to talk.
Yes, they are.
Clowns talk.
Mimes can't but clowns can definitely fucking talk, alright ? Not true.
Some clowns talk, some make talking noises.
Do me a favor.
Give me a piece of cake.
I want a bunny rabbit balloon.
When I see some cake.
You gotta move on.
Please don't hump me on the frosting.
Stupid ! Hey ! Can I talk to you for a second ? Yeah.
This is my kid's party and this isn't a bunny rabbit.
- Yes, sorry Mr.
? - Sondheim.
Lloyd.
Look Don't you have other stuff you can do ? Any magic tricks ? Yeah, I've got one or two.
Well, use them.
This is the only 6th birthday my daughter will ever have.
Here, drink some more water.
I don't know why I liked him.
Maybe just because that slut Fran did.
But I think it had something to do with my death this morning.
I couldn't get that strange pink flower out of my head.
I felt as if something was hanging by a thread.
Not just my finger.
And I had to try to hold on to it.
Have another sip.
I feel better.
What are you ? Following me, Blondie ? Don't flatter yourself, I have a post-it.
C.
Sullivan.
Luck of the Irish.
Greedy fucking Americans! I put a curse on you.
May you never walk the Earth in happiness again! Sir, that voodoo shit don't play with me, comprende ? Fuck you! Piece of shit! Little meter maid! Fuck your balls.
Let's go! Bring it on! Gloves off! Boss man says I can't.
I can't mouth off.
Roxy can't mouth off ? You're like a bird without a song.
A really mean bird.
Roxy Why did you say I looked like a dog who needed to be saved from the pound ? Don't do this to me, Daisy.
I was just tired.
I didn't sleep well.
I had a bad dream.
Flying, swimming and running from monsters, it all means the same thing.
No pot tarts after 10.
It was my first day on the set of Gone with the wind.
And you die, I know that story.
In my dream, I'm about to meet one of my idols, Vivien Leigh.
Dreamt about it my whole life.
I was really worried, you know.
What if we don't get along ? What if she hates me ? Worse yet What if she ignores me ? That will teach them to mess with Catherine Sullivan.
But in my dream, it's wonderful.
She runs through a hall as god is my witness.
I'll never be angry again.
I'll tell her it's a touch over the top and she says I'm right.
We just gossip and giggle like long lost sisters.
So that's why I was a little out of it this morning.
It was a rough dream.
What is so rough about that dream ? It never happened.
I died before I met her.
Shut up out there.
It'll only be a minute.
Bloody hell.
I do believe this is a symbol for "aim here".
Wow! I find that comment violent contemptible.
Let's say you're sorry.
I'm sorry, Rube.
I'm sorry you're a 100 years old and you'll never get to spank that.
- Make a funny face.
- No! Go away.
Give the kid a face.
It's her birthday.
He's funny.
Yes, he is.
Are you the clown's daddy ? No.
Then why are you here ? I'm somebody's daddy.
She's just not at this party.
And where is she ? Why don't you play with the clown, sweetheart ? I want you to remember how funny he was, okay ? My day had started with a death.
The first sign of trouble was all those bright orange pylons around the gas leak.
You put them when you wanna keep people at a distance.
That's what I needed now.
Lots and lots of orange pylons.
How did it go ? How did what go ? Making out with Brennan ? Severing my middle finger ? Putting it back on without letting everyone know I was a grim reaper ? It went well.
I heard you cut yourself.
It's nothing.
You just need to take better care of yourself, Millie.
The world is a dangerous place.
It's an easy place for a young girl to get hurt.
I'm fine.
I think I'm gonna pull you off Brennan.
Well, I was never really on Brennan.
You're smart, you're charming.
You're a very complicated young woman and I just don't like to see your talent wasted on projects like Brennan.
What are we talking about ? We're talking about a promotion, you silly goose.
We are ? Oh I think we are.
Two more days a week and two hundred dollars more a week.
You're shitting me ? Your new position at Happy Time will be to, huh, interview potential temps.
We're frittering away your talents at data entry.
And training boys like Brennan, that's a waste of your time.
Do we understand each other ? I won't let you down.
That's a joke ! Since I just got promoted, I just thought you two should know that I take my coffee with a little milk, two sugars and a lot less of your bullshit.
- I hate her.
- What a bitch! Don't even turn to see the wreckage.
Can you describe the other kid ? What the hell ? The other kid was a little taller than this one.
Slender built, baggy jeans.
He had on a black sweatshirt with some gang gang bull on the back of it.
And then he headed North.
He was pretty banged up to.
What's your name ? Roxy.
You're the one who close on this kid ? I like your style.
You got the wrong job, Roxy.
I ain't got nothing but wrong jobs.
So do you guys just, like, hate each other's guts ? No, your mother and I don't hate each other.
We love each other very much.
- We just - We just can't live together.
But we both love you.
And even though others things will change, that won't.
You know, Regg', it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling.
Don't be afraid to have feelings.
What are your feelings, sweetheart ? I'm a little hungry.
So which one of you gets Well, your mother and I haven't exactly worked that out but I know your mom wants you to Who gets JD ? Well, sweetheart, JD is your dog.
But I'm sure if you wanna lend him to your dad every now and then, you know.
I'm sure he'd appreciate it.
Titia Carter's parents got a divorce and her dad got this really cheesy condo.
Shag carpeting and mirrors everywhere.
Well, I'm not gonna get a cheesy condo, Reggie.
You have to get a backyard.
For JD.
We'll see, sweetie.
Most sorority houses do come with backyards.
You just can't leave it alone.
You just can't help yourself.
Great! I can't help myself.
You've been tapping little Mrs.
Kappa Kappa Gamma's keg for a year now.
Did it ever occur to you that maybe you pushed me in that direction ? Oh really! Poor you! Please enlighten me! That's the way that you drive everyone around you away.
You did the same thing to George.
You wanted her out of this house.
You wanted her gone and now she's gone.
Get out.
Get out! Get out of this house right now or I will scream! My parents took me and my little sister to the circus every year.
I like the trapeze artists the best.
The flying Wallendas or whatever they were called.
Not the death defying stuff, the midair quadruple flips and near misses.
I covered my eyes for that.
What I liked was part of the end, when they bounce into the net and jumped up with that big Wallenda smile.
The "tada!" part.
Tada! I love that.
It meant "I'm safe".
Hi! Hi.
I can't go out with you tonight.
Okay.
Maybe some other time.
I don't I don't know.
Okay.
That's cool, you know.
Just hang on to my phone number.
Okay.
Hopefully, I'll see around some time.
Well, we work in the same office.
Yeah.
Does it hurt ? Your finger No.
Good.
Good, I'm glad.
Thank you.
Tada! That was the thing with the Wallendas.
Why I always covered my eyes until it was over.
Eventually one of them's gotta fall.
Daddy, it's not breaking! I know, sweetheart.
Hey, Eddy.
Finish this.
Oh man! Try not to kill anyone.
Daddy! Daddy! It's still not breaking! Sweetie The piñata is gonna crack open.
You'll get your candy.
Has daddy ever let you down before ? - No.
- No I'll bring it right back.
Knock it out.
- Am I dead? - Yeah.
Yeah, you're dead.
Who are you ? Ma.
.
Mason.
You're not the clown ? I'm no fucking clown.
What were you doing here ? I was I took your soul before you, you know And now I'm supposed to escort you to your lights.
No, what were you doing ? You made obscene balloon animals for my daughter.
You insulted all my guests.
And the whole time you knew I was gonna die.
This is a joke ? This is how she'll remember her birthday ? Do you wanna come with me ? I'll take you to your lights, alright ? Stay away from me! Stay away from my family! Just.
.
just go! Life always seemed to be about two things: feeling bad and then feeling better.
For me, the feeling bad part came pretty easy.
But the feeling better part, how to make myself feel better, I never got that part down.
These are too soft, always break.
I keep telling you to buy the number fours but you don't listen.
What's with the sad face ? Some sad story.
Rent's due, job sucks, cat's pregnant.
You haven't seen Mason lately, have you ? Tiffany, can I get some coffee please ? Why do you drink coffee so late ? You don't sleep as it is.
Make that an espresso.
Thank you.
Little Mrs.
Cranky Pants Whatever haunts your soul at this moment, whatever need you feel to make some kind of a statement or question my authority and Is it something I did ? Nothing's wrong.
I got a promotion.
What kind of promotion did you get ? Two more big bills a week.
I joined the police academy.
No, you didn't.
Yes, she did.
They want more days these Happy Time people.
I think you should decline the offer.
Fuck that! It's done.
I'm doing it.
Roxy, give us a moment, will you ? Why can't I do this ? I'm doing this.
She's joining the fucking police academy.
Roxy's not you concern.
I'm just worried that you're taking on too much.
People love to take roses and they forget about the thorns.
Okay, now that's really beautiful but I'm taking the promotion.
I wouldn't do that.
What did she do now ? Nice cross.
Had any trouble getting the blood off ? No, just soap and water.
I just think you should go there tomorrow morning and tell that Dolores woman "thank you" but no.
I want to do this.
I want more money.
I want, I want - Look, peanut.
- Don't call me that.
I just think all that want thing is not so good at this point.
That's all I have to say about your promotion.
Well, as mush as I've enjoyed this little pow wow, I think I'm just going to do what I'm going to do.
Mrs.
! Your espresso ? I don't want it.
We made it.
Somebody's gotta pay for it.
She's a cop.
Don't they get everything for free ? I thought you were a meter maid.
Well, I'm a cop now.
Good for you, baby.
Coffee's free for cops.
Un-fucking-real! What do you mean "you're a cop" ? I joined the police academy this afternoon.
Yeah, I don't think I care for that.
Hey there, Mr.
Frog.
How was your day ? Mine was fucked up.
My flower.
I thought you might want it.
So who was that boy on the phone today ? Brendan.
- Brennan.
- Brennan.
Who's Brennan who thinks you have beautiful eyes ? Nobody.
- Okay, I kissed him! - And ? - And ? - What was the kiss like ? It's not too late to call him, you know.
I'm not gonna call him.
Dolores doesn't want me getting involved with anyone at Happy Time.
Besides he's not my type.
Not even close.
He's a pretty boy.
It's obvious.
Go to bed, Daisy.
So Rube doesn't want you at Happy time.
That makes you unhappy.
Dolores wants you at Happy Time but just so long as you're unhappy.
It just sounds like a plan.
Life sucks and then you die.
And then it still sucks.
What's with the cross ? I don't know I like it.
What are you like catholic now ? Yeah.
Why not ? Good for you! - You're so angry.
- And you're not ? Listen to me, I died in 1938 and there is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder the things I did, things I didn't do.
I know and you were going to a great actress and you're beautiful and talented and you slept with all the men under the moon.
Stop making fun of me.
Just shut up for once.
You think you know everything ? Look how unhappy you are! I'm sorry you were so young when you died, Georgia.
Good night.
I knew who that pink flower was for.
I knew who I betrayed.
My short life was like our family outings to the circus.
It wasn't so bad.
A bit with a clown, some cotton candy And just as things got interesting, I covered my eyes.
I know what that Wallenda smile at the end was about, why they were so happy with their midair flips and near misses.
They were happy because they were brave enough to be themselves.
I mean if you're a Wallenda, you have to climb up that ladder, you have to grab that trapeze bar.
If you're a Wallenda, you have to jump off eyes wide open.