Deadly Top 10s (2009) s02e01 Episode Script
Defenders
Welcome to my Deadly Top 10.
Whoa! A chance to choose the most extreme, mass-attacking, defending, airborne and super-sensing animals on the planet! Quick, quick, quick! All deadly in their own world, and occasionally deadly to me! Argh! Who do you think will be number 1 of the Deadly Top 10? Here we go! In this countdown, I'm choosing my top 10 defenders, animals that don't just use their deadly skills in attack, but also in defence, fending off predators and stopping themselves from being eaten! - Toxic venom - Ooh! sharp spines, brute force and even chemical warfare make up an incredible array of defensive tactics.
But who will claw, spit, scrape or stampede their way to number 1 as the deadliest defender? Let's find out, so get your guard up.
It's time to start counting down the top 10 deadly defenders! We're starting big.
Up first at number 10, it's the world's largest eight-legged hairy hunter - the Goliath bird-eating spider.
Oh, my life.
It's something really big.
Here it comes.
Absolutely dripping sweat here.
Look at the size of those fangs.
I've never seen anything this big before and I've been catching tarantulas for well over a decade.
Now we can get a proper sense of the size of you.
This is the largest tarantula in the world, the goliath bird-eating spider.
They can have a leg span the size of a Frisbee and an abdomen as large as a tennis ball.
So they'd make a meaty meal for forest hunters like coatis or ocelot.
She's got fangs that are about as long as a cheetah's claws, and a good deal sharper.
She could give me a really, really nasty bite.
But she also has another, more unusual form of defence that I've got to be really careful of.
That kicking her leg against her abdomen is sending hairs up into the air.
If those get into your eyes or nose, or the back of your throat, it can be very irritating and itchy and it's actually the spider's primary method of getting rid of an attacker despite the fact that it has gigantic fangs.
The irritating hairs act like pepper spray, burning the eyes, tickling the throat and causing coughing fits, sometimes even blindness, a very effective defence against prying predators and could leave me itching for weeks! Look at the size of her! And I can feel those hairs that she kicked up into the air, I can feel them in the back of my throat, and I want to cough, but it's not really a good time to cough with that on your hands.
So, giant fangs and venom aside, it's the tiny, itchy, scratchy, rash-causing hairs that are this spider's rather effective defence against predators.
Next up, slithering in to the number 9 slot is a venomous reptile that I've got a bit of history with.
Ever since I was a little kid, I've been obsessed with snakes, and I spend a good part of my life travelling round the world catching some of the most venomous ones.
Touch wood, I've never been bitten while handling one, although I did get hospitalised when I stood right on top of a venomous snake and got bitten.
It wasn't a black mamba.
It wasn't a king cobra.
And it wasn't a Gaboon viper.
Although it was in the viper family.
In fact, it was right here in the heaths of southern England, so I've come back here to try and find one.
Have you guessed it? That's right, it's the adder, Britain's only venomous snake.
The adder may be small, but it is a viper and is armed with fully loaded venom glands for hunting and taking down its prey, such as voles and frogs.
The venom's also used in defence when the snake feels threatened by its predators - birds of prey, crows, gulls, foxes or big-footed naturalists, like me! When I was bitten on the ankle, my whole leg swelled up and turned black.
I was kept in hospital for three days, so learnt the hard way about this snake's defensive skills.
Now, I'd be absolutely heartbroken if people were to be scared of snakes because of what happened to me.
Truth is, I must have stood right on top of that adder for it to have bitten me.
Actually, it's incredibly rare for people to even see them.
As soon as anyone gets close, they just disappear off into the bushes and their camouflage is amazing.
And having cryptic camouflage is really the first part of their defence.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Here's an adder.
OK, let's try and get him out into the open, there.
That is Britain's only venomous snake, the adder.
Now I have to say, this is absolutely not something that I would encourage people back home to do.
The adder's bite is painful and has killed people, so don't ever try to pick one up.
And listen to that hiss.
This is the threat that's used by pretty much all of the reptiles from the crocodiles through the tiniest to the biggest of snakes.
It's just forcing air out through his lungs making a sound which you could never mistake for anything other than a way of telling you to go away.
The adder is an extraordinary predator.
It has really quite toxic venom for a snake of this size.
It has a very, very fast strike, and as you've seen from how difficult it's been for us to find one, amazing camouflage, absolutely extraordinary.
So, the adder's invisibility cloak of camouflage is its day-to-day means of defence, but when it's really threatened, a loud hiss and a venomous strike sends its predators limping.
Now we're taking it to the max for number 8.
It's the largest primate on Earth, the gorilla.
In the high forests of Uganda, the mountain gorillas are King Kongkering any rivals.
As we start to get closer, you'll hear the guides making little reassuring noises so the gorillas know what's coming and know that it's not a threat.
I can see the bushes moving just ahead of us.
I'm shaking, half with excitement and half with a little bit of trepidation.
Up there, the silverback.
This is the silverback, the dominant male.
And I have to say, there are very few more impressive animals in the whole world.
He is absolutely massive.
Tipping the scales at over 200 kilos of pure muscle, the silverback is an advert for why you should always eat your greens! Strength, power and physical presence are all key to the gorilla's defence.
Bluff charges are enough to see off most rivals but a full-on attack will include screaming roars, chest beating, hefty punches and deep bites.
Not something I'm keen to experience.
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.
Suddenly, a confident young male moves menacingly towards us.
This is the blackback.
He's the young male.
And they can be more of a worry than the silverback cos they have more to prove.
Can you see how easily he just pulled that tree down to cover himself? People that actually work with gorillas a lot reckon they're probably ten times stronger than people.
They've seen them bend iron bars.
He's looking at me at the moment, sussing me out.
But despite his smirk, he obviously thinks I might be a challenge.
I had to stand my ground as he comes over to teach me a lesson.
Oh.
Right, well, that is a blackback gorilla letting us know who's boss.
But I just got off lightly with a gentle clout, more of a warning shot.
Yeah, that was quite a left hook.
So, three animals in and we've seen itchy hairs, a painful bite and gorillas packing a punch, but what other defensive tricks are in store as we count down the list? Coming in at number 7 is a rather prickly customer.
This is Africa's largest rodent, a porcupine, a nocturnal nibbler that comes out to forage at night.
But the name "porcupine" actually means thorny pig and this guy's hair-raising, funky-punky hairdo isn't just for show.
His back and tail are studded with sharp spines and quills that can be raised up in defence, creating a ferocious, impenetrable force field against attack.
A backwards charge from this guy would leave you with a face full of spines, so it's a deadly defender to watch out for.
Yes going to be quite cautious.
Just sitting quietly in the corner up here is a porcupine.
He's watching me very closely, but what I really don't want is for him to back up and charge me with those quills.
That's the weapon that he'll use to drive off animals as big as lions.
Usually, a rattle of the tail's hollow quills and a flash of their tightly packed pincushion posterior is enough to deter lone hunters.
But sometimes, the opposition don't quite put up a fair fight.
This poor porcupine finds itself surrounded by a hungry pride of lions, but despite being seriously outnumbered, he uses his reinforced rear to keep the lions at bay.
The hollow quills are designed to drop out easily, embedding themselves deep into any stray paws.
Too prickly a problem for this poor pussycat.
So, lion versus rodent - a real game of cat and mouse.
But our porcupine's defence is unbeatable.
Creeping in at number 6 is an insect with a defence so good, it's able to thrive where others wouldn't dare to tread.
It's the extraordinary moth butterfly caterpillar.
This is a weaver ant nest, a beautiful construction of leaves and silk and home to several thousand busy worker ants.
They're very territorial, defending their nests against anything that gets too close.
But this freaky fiend is the moth butterfly caterpillar.
Armoured with a shell, like a crazy cross between a tank and a tortoise, it brazenly trundles headfirst into the weavers' nest, right into the ants' lair.
Intruders are normally swarmed over and dismembered by these soldier ants, but this is where the caterpillar's defence comes in.
The shield it wears on its back is awesome - bite-resistant and tough as old boots.
The ants try everything, but the tank keeps marching on, right to the nursery! The moth butterfly caterpillar has arrived at the ultimate all-you-can-eat buffet.
Because this is one of the few carnivorous, meat-eating caterpillar species in the world.
Once it gets going, a caterpillar can eat 12 grubs in an hour so within weeks, a few caterpillars could scoff the entire brood.
Once stuffed, the caterpillars pupate within their protective armour, then the adult moth butterfly starts to emerge.
The soldier ants mount an immediate attack, but the butterfly has one more devious defence.
Its body is covered in slippery silver scales, like evil candyfloss, which jam up the ants' jaws as they try to bite.
Try as they might, they just can't get a grip.
So, the delicate adult moth butterfly strolls out of the ants' nest completely unharmed, thanks to its unusual defensive tricks.
So shields up, it's time to review our defences so far.
We've had the spider's hairs, the adder's bite, the massive mountain gorilla, a porcupine taking on a pride, and a carnivorous caterpillar that hangs out where others wouldn't survive a second.
So, we're working our way through my deadly defenders, but the creature at number 5 could surprise you.
It's the cassowary.
Strutting into our line-up is a monster bird that can do more than ruffle a few feathers.
This dinosaur-like, flightless bird lives deep in Australia's steamy rainforest, has sharpened talons on its feet, beady eyes and a temper to rival the Hulk! Oh, and did I mention it's one of the few birds known to attack humans? So, on foot in the Daintree Rainforest, I'm not quite sure who's stalking who.
The female cassowary is a bird you definitely don't want to get on the wrong side of.
They're very, very large and they also have a a claw which is almost like a dagger.
I don't believe this.
Right in front of me is a male with a juvenile.
They're no more than about 10, 15 feet in front of me.
The chick's coming to check me out.
I need to be quite careful now because the male's going to be very protective of the chick.
He's getting very, very close.
I could reach out and touch him.
I think he'd probably peck my hand off, though.
Scared him off.
Well, I'm glad I won that game of chicken.
Cassowaries may be flightless, but as this vet finds out, they're certainly not fightless.
They can leap over a metre and a half in the air, using their high-flying kicks to defend their chicks.
A formidable defender that will see off crocodiles, dingoes and anyone or anything that gets too close.
That is a bird in a bad mood! From two legs to six next, and in at number 4 is a feisty ant that will attack just about anything.
It's the jack jumper, and you'd better watch out! If you ask any naturalist working out in the field which animal causes them the most strife, they won't say snakes or spiders or scorpions, they'll say ants.
I know that seems ridiculous.
Back home in the UK, all an ant really does is perhaps spoil a picnic for you, but there are many places around the world where that isn't the case and here in Australia is one of them, and I'll show you why.
There's a little hole here.
I'm going to see if I can bring out the ant that lives inside.
Usually just a bit of vibration's enough to bring them out.
Ah, here we go, I've got one coming out.
This is a jumping jack ant.
It's got absolutely huge yellow mandibles.
Very, very aggressive, these little ants.
But the dangerous thing about them isn't their bite.
It's their sting.
Ants are in the same insect group as the bees and the wasps, and like them, a lot of their venoms have stuff in them that people are very, very allergic to.
Here in Australia, people actually die from bites from these ants.
The sting is extremely painful and has been known to kill adults within 15 minutes, making jack jumpers the most dangerous ant in the world! I tell you what, they are like little bulldogs.
This one's savaging the front of the camera, look! Look at that.
They're totally fearless.
And they really have got an attitude way beyond their size.
Apart from anything else they'll jump after what they see as being a threat to their colony.
The enormous jaws and potent sting are used primarily in attack.
The insecticidal venom kills a fly in seconds, but the same tools are turned into deadly defensive weapons when the ants and the colony are under attack.
Look at that, he's stinging the lens, getting right stuck into it.
Look at that.
I'm glad that isn't my finger.
Totally fearless.
I don't think I've ever seen a creature quite so aggressive.
So, as well as being armed with a toxic sting and huge mandibles, the out-and-out aggression of this ant means it will sting repeatedly, a serious defender.
Jumping jack ants - definitely deadly.
Next up, crashing in at 3, is a meaty head to head of two tough African defenders - the rhino versus the buffalo.
They both have horns, brawn and attitude, but who could steal our slot at number 3? The best way of getting a good look at these beasts is from the air.
If we're going to stand a chance of getting close to them in the air, we need an aircraft that's small, manoeuvrable, perhaps even discreet.
Something like this.
Here we go! Whoo! OK, so now we're airborne.
This wonderful little plane offers us so many opportunities.
We can obviously cover a much broader range.
This is a great way to see Africa's giants.
And there are our first contenders - a group of rhino.
Rhino are built like bulldozers.
Their hides are thickened like armour plating to shield them from jabs from horns during fights.
They weigh up to three tonnes, but despite being big, can sprint at 30 miles an hour! Adults use their horns for fighting and defending their youngsters from lions, crocodiles and hyena.
They'll tackle anyone who gets in their way at a watering hole and basically see anything large as a threat.
So, rhino are big, they're armoured and they look pretty angry.
Surely, as defenders go, they must be a deadly cert for a place on my list? How will the buffalo's horns match up? It's back up in our plane over the plains to see if we can spot any.
What are you seeing? Buffalo.
I see them.
I see the buffalo! Wow, it is a massive herd! Oh, I cannot believe how many there are! I reckon this herd of buffalo must be 200 animals strong.
Oh, look at that! So, in this head to head, we've got a whole herd of buff' strutting their stuff.
Buffalo are big and beefy.
They have heavy-set, bony horns that meet in the middle, forming a bullet-proof boss that protects their skull.
They hang out in herds, so have the strength in numbers to defend their young against Africa's biggest predators - lions.
Working together in a group like an oversized rugby team, the wingers and flankers hold the space while the others scrum down, tackling lions head on.
And they have the size, strength, speed and skewers to do some serious showing off.
As deadly vegetarians go, you don't want to feel the defensive force of either beast, but I can only choose one for my list.
Well, they may not be as thick-skinned as the rhino, but with their teamwork in defence, the buffalo has it for me, and stampedes into the number 3 spot.
We're nearing the top now, and in at number 2 is a classic defender that can see off its predators without even touching them.
It's the rinkhals spitting cobra.
So, eye protectors on, I'm ready to see one in action.
This is a fiery snake.
See, he's rearing up towards me.
Oh.
And just flicked venom all down my arm.
Certainly not as accurate as you see in some spitting cobras, but if it goes in the eyes, it's going to be just as effective.
Now, look at that.
Oh! Perfect.
He actually flicked venom straight at me.
Now, actually, a little bit of it went into my mouth.
You can taste it.
It has a sort of rusty kind of taste to it.
The venom can't harm me unless it gets into my bloodstream.
That actually did go right into my mouth.
What I'm trying to do is restrain the head, so to actually give an impression of what would happen, if an animal was to attack it what it would do.
So I'm just gently hoping that I'll be able to hold the head down.
Wow! OK.
And he just spat straight at the camera.
I think there are a few flecks of venom just on the outside of the lens hood here.
This isn't hurting the snake, but it does allow me to show you how incredible it is.
Now, with the head restrained and the snake really feeling like it has nowhere to go the next thing that the rinkhals does is play dead.
Look at that.
From the ferocious, agitated moving snake we had before, it's gone totally limp.
So, this is the rinkhals' last line of defence.
It's been fast, it's been quick, it's been aggressive, it's spat venom at me, and now it's just playing dead.
No motion whatsoever, and any animal that won't take dead prey, it's not going to be interested, it's going to leave it alone.
Anything that will and gets too close is going to get a nasty surprise and probably a bite.
Now, that's what I call a clever snake.
With its twin tactics of flicking venom and playing dead, it definitely deserves a place in at number 2.
It's time for the top 10 deadly defenders countdown.
Irritating hairy 10 is the goliath bird-eating spider.
The secretive striking adder lurks at 9.
Ape-solutely fantastic gorillas pack a punch at number 8.
Spiny 7 is the lion-taming punky porcupine.
In at 6, the kamikaze moth butterfly caterpillar.
The flightless cassowary kicks and scratches its way in at 5.
Spoiling for a fight at 4, the jack jumper ants sting into the line-up.
Bullish buffaloes rampage in at 3.
Playing dead, but really deadly at 2, is the rinkhals spitting cobra.
But now we come to the number 1, the ultimate defender.
It's the bombardier beetle! What? A little beetle? Now, he might not look like much, but this guy has a secret weapon - he's packing heat! His archenemies are ants.
They bite, nip and swarm around him, trying to eat him.
But don't worry, our bombardier has a seriously impressive trick up his sleeve.
Well, actually, up his bottom! Stored within his abdomen are two powerful liquids that he can mix together, creating a chemical reaction so strong that it sends a jet of boiling acid out of his rear all over attacking ants! The liquid is as hot as boiling water, smells disgusting and burns anything it touches.
It's so hot that the beetle has to jet it out in pulses of 500 squirts per second to stop him from burning his own bottom.
Smoking! The bombardier beetle - a highly toxic, explosive defender that quite frankly blows me away, and a worthy winner of number 1 in my countdown.
So, that's my take on the top 10 deadly defenders! Don't forget to join me next time for more Deadly Top 10s.
Who's going to be the next deadly number 1?
Whoa! A chance to choose the most extreme, mass-attacking, defending, airborne and super-sensing animals on the planet! Quick, quick, quick! All deadly in their own world, and occasionally deadly to me! Argh! Who do you think will be number 1 of the Deadly Top 10? Here we go! In this countdown, I'm choosing my top 10 defenders, animals that don't just use their deadly skills in attack, but also in defence, fending off predators and stopping themselves from being eaten! - Toxic venom - Ooh! sharp spines, brute force and even chemical warfare make up an incredible array of defensive tactics.
But who will claw, spit, scrape or stampede their way to number 1 as the deadliest defender? Let's find out, so get your guard up.
It's time to start counting down the top 10 deadly defenders! We're starting big.
Up first at number 10, it's the world's largest eight-legged hairy hunter - the Goliath bird-eating spider.
Oh, my life.
It's something really big.
Here it comes.
Absolutely dripping sweat here.
Look at the size of those fangs.
I've never seen anything this big before and I've been catching tarantulas for well over a decade.
Now we can get a proper sense of the size of you.
This is the largest tarantula in the world, the goliath bird-eating spider.
They can have a leg span the size of a Frisbee and an abdomen as large as a tennis ball.
So they'd make a meaty meal for forest hunters like coatis or ocelot.
She's got fangs that are about as long as a cheetah's claws, and a good deal sharper.
She could give me a really, really nasty bite.
But she also has another, more unusual form of defence that I've got to be really careful of.
That kicking her leg against her abdomen is sending hairs up into the air.
If those get into your eyes or nose, or the back of your throat, it can be very irritating and itchy and it's actually the spider's primary method of getting rid of an attacker despite the fact that it has gigantic fangs.
The irritating hairs act like pepper spray, burning the eyes, tickling the throat and causing coughing fits, sometimes even blindness, a very effective defence against prying predators and could leave me itching for weeks! Look at the size of her! And I can feel those hairs that she kicked up into the air, I can feel them in the back of my throat, and I want to cough, but it's not really a good time to cough with that on your hands.
So, giant fangs and venom aside, it's the tiny, itchy, scratchy, rash-causing hairs that are this spider's rather effective defence against predators.
Next up, slithering in to the number 9 slot is a venomous reptile that I've got a bit of history with.
Ever since I was a little kid, I've been obsessed with snakes, and I spend a good part of my life travelling round the world catching some of the most venomous ones.
Touch wood, I've never been bitten while handling one, although I did get hospitalised when I stood right on top of a venomous snake and got bitten.
It wasn't a black mamba.
It wasn't a king cobra.
And it wasn't a Gaboon viper.
Although it was in the viper family.
In fact, it was right here in the heaths of southern England, so I've come back here to try and find one.
Have you guessed it? That's right, it's the adder, Britain's only venomous snake.
The adder may be small, but it is a viper and is armed with fully loaded venom glands for hunting and taking down its prey, such as voles and frogs.
The venom's also used in defence when the snake feels threatened by its predators - birds of prey, crows, gulls, foxes or big-footed naturalists, like me! When I was bitten on the ankle, my whole leg swelled up and turned black.
I was kept in hospital for three days, so learnt the hard way about this snake's defensive skills.
Now, I'd be absolutely heartbroken if people were to be scared of snakes because of what happened to me.
Truth is, I must have stood right on top of that adder for it to have bitten me.
Actually, it's incredibly rare for people to even see them.
As soon as anyone gets close, they just disappear off into the bushes and their camouflage is amazing.
And having cryptic camouflage is really the first part of their defence.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Here's an adder.
OK, let's try and get him out into the open, there.
That is Britain's only venomous snake, the adder.
Now I have to say, this is absolutely not something that I would encourage people back home to do.
The adder's bite is painful and has killed people, so don't ever try to pick one up.
And listen to that hiss.
This is the threat that's used by pretty much all of the reptiles from the crocodiles through the tiniest to the biggest of snakes.
It's just forcing air out through his lungs making a sound which you could never mistake for anything other than a way of telling you to go away.
The adder is an extraordinary predator.
It has really quite toxic venom for a snake of this size.
It has a very, very fast strike, and as you've seen from how difficult it's been for us to find one, amazing camouflage, absolutely extraordinary.
So, the adder's invisibility cloak of camouflage is its day-to-day means of defence, but when it's really threatened, a loud hiss and a venomous strike sends its predators limping.
Now we're taking it to the max for number 8.
It's the largest primate on Earth, the gorilla.
In the high forests of Uganda, the mountain gorillas are King Kongkering any rivals.
As we start to get closer, you'll hear the guides making little reassuring noises so the gorillas know what's coming and know that it's not a threat.
I can see the bushes moving just ahead of us.
I'm shaking, half with excitement and half with a little bit of trepidation.
Up there, the silverback.
This is the silverback, the dominant male.
And I have to say, there are very few more impressive animals in the whole world.
He is absolutely massive.
Tipping the scales at over 200 kilos of pure muscle, the silverback is an advert for why you should always eat your greens! Strength, power and physical presence are all key to the gorilla's defence.
Bluff charges are enough to see off most rivals but a full-on attack will include screaming roars, chest beating, hefty punches and deep bites.
Not something I'm keen to experience.
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.
Suddenly, a confident young male moves menacingly towards us.
This is the blackback.
He's the young male.
And they can be more of a worry than the silverback cos they have more to prove.
Can you see how easily he just pulled that tree down to cover himself? People that actually work with gorillas a lot reckon they're probably ten times stronger than people.
They've seen them bend iron bars.
He's looking at me at the moment, sussing me out.
But despite his smirk, he obviously thinks I might be a challenge.
I had to stand my ground as he comes over to teach me a lesson.
Oh.
Right, well, that is a blackback gorilla letting us know who's boss.
But I just got off lightly with a gentle clout, more of a warning shot.
Yeah, that was quite a left hook.
So, three animals in and we've seen itchy hairs, a painful bite and gorillas packing a punch, but what other defensive tricks are in store as we count down the list? Coming in at number 7 is a rather prickly customer.
This is Africa's largest rodent, a porcupine, a nocturnal nibbler that comes out to forage at night.
But the name "porcupine" actually means thorny pig and this guy's hair-raising, funky-punky hairdo isn't just for show.
His back and tail are studded with sharp spines and quills that can be raised up in defence, creating a ferocious, impenetrable force field against attack.
A backwards charge from this guy would leave you with a face full of spines, so it's a deadly defender to watch out for.
Yes going to be quite cautious.
Just sitting quietly in the corner up here is a porcupine.
He's watching me very closely, but what I really don't want is for him to back up and charge me with those quills.
That's the weapon that he'll use to drive off animals as big as lions.
Usually, a rattle of the tail's hollow quills and a flash of their tightly packed pincushion posterior is enough to deter lone hunters.
But sometimes, the opposition don't quite put up a fair fight.
This poor porcupine finds itself surrounded by a hungry pride of lions, but despite being seriously outnumbered, he uses his reinforced rear to keep the lions at bay.
The hollow quills are designed to drop out easily, embedding themselves deep into any stray paws.
Too prickly a problem for this poor pussycat.
So, lion versus rodent - a real game of cat and mouse.
But our porcupine's defence is unbeatable.
Creeping in at number 6 is an insect with a defence so good, it's able to thrive where others wouldn't dare to tread.
It's the extraordinary moth butterfly caterpillar.
This is a weaver ant nest, a beautiful construction of leaves and silk and home to several thousand busy worker ants.
They're very territorial, defending their nests against anything that gets too close.
But this freaky fiend is the moth butterfly caterpillar.
Armoured with a shell, like a crazy cross between a tank and a tortoise, it brazenly trundles headfirst into the weavers' nest, right into the ants' lair.
Intruders are normally swarmed over and dismembered by these soldier ants, but this is where the caterpillar's defence comes in.
The shield it wears on its back is awesome - bite-resistant and tough as old boots.
The ants try everything, but the tank keeps marching on, right to the nursery! The moth butterfly caterpillar has arrived at the ultimate all-you-can-eat buffet.
Because this is one of the few carnivorous, meat-eating caterpillar species in the world.
Once it gets going, a caterpillar can eat 12 grubs in an hour so within weeks, a few caterpillars could scoff the entire brood.
Once stuffed, the caterpillars pupate within their protective armour, then the adult moth butterfly starts to emerge.
The soldier ants mount an immediate attack, but the butterfly has one more devious defence.
Its body is covered in slippery silver scales, like evil candyfloss, which jam up the ants' jaws as they try to bite.
Try as they might, they just can't get a grip.
So, the delicate adult moth butterfly strolls out of the ants' nest completely unharmed, thanks to its unusual defensive tricks.
So shields up, it's time to review our defences so far.
We've had the spider's hairs, the adder's bite, the massive mountain gorilla, a porcupine taking on a pride, and a carnivorous caterpillar that hangs out where others wouldn't survive a second.
So, we're working our way through my deadly defenders, but the creature at number 5 could surprise you.
It's the cassowary.
Strutting into our line-up is a monster bird that can do more than ruffle a few feathers.
This dinosaur-like, flightless bird lives deep in Australia's steamy rainforest, has sharpened talons on its feet, beady eyes and a temper to rival the Hulk! Oh, and did I mention it's one of the few birds known to attack humans? So, on foot in the Daintree Rainforest, I'm not quite sure who's stalking who.
The female cassowary is a bird you definitely don't want to get on the wrong side of.
They're very, very large and they also have a a claw which is almost like a dagger.
I don't believe this.
Right in front of me is a male with a juvenile.
They're no more than about 10, 15 feet in front of me.
The chick's coming to check me out.
I need to be quite careful now because the male's going to be very protective of the chick.
He's getting very, very close.
I could reach out and touch him.
I think he'd probably peck my hand off, though.
Scared him off.
Well, I'm glad I won that game of chicken.
Cassowaries may be flightless, but as this vet finds out, they're certainly not fightless.
They can leap over a metre and a half in the air, using their high-flying kicks to defend their chicks.
A formidable defender that will see off crocodiles, dingoes and anyone or anything that gets too close.
That is a bird in a bad mood! From two legs to six next, and in at number 4 is a feisty ant that will attack just about anything.
It's the jack jumper, and you'd better watch out! If you ask any naturalist working out in the field which animal causes them the most strife, they won't say snakes or spiders or scorpions, they'll say ants.
I know that seems ridiculous.
Back home in the UK, all an ant really does is perhaps spoil a picnic for you, but there are many places around the world where that isn't the case and here in Australia is one of them, and I'll show you why.
There's a little hole here.
I'm going to see if I can bring out the ant that lives inside.
Usually just a bit of vibration's enough to bring them out.
Ah, here we go, I've got one coming out.
This is a jumping jack ant.
It's got absolutely huge yellow mandibles.
Very, very aggressive, these little ants.
But the dangerous thing about them isn't their bite.
It's their sting.
Ants are in the same insect group as the bees and the wasps, and like them, a lot of their venoms have stuff in them that people are very, very allergic to.
Here in Australia, people actually die from bites from these ants.
The sting is extremely painful and has been known to kill adults within 15 minutes, making jack jumpers the most dangerous ant in the world! I tell you what, they are like little bulldogs.
This one's savaging the front of the camera, look! Look at that.
They're totally fearless.
And they really have got an attitude way beyond their size.
Apart from anything else they'll jump after what they see as being a threat to their colony.
The enormous jaws and potent sting are used primarily in attack.
The insecticidal venom kills a fly in seconds, but the same tools are turned into deadly defensive weapons when the ants and the colony are under attack.
Look at that, he's stinging the lens, getting right stuck into it.
Look at that.
I'm glad that isn't my finger.
Totally fearless.
I don't think I've ever seen a creature quite so aggressive.
So, as well as being armed with a toxic sting and huge mandibles, the out-and-out aggression of this ant means it will sting repeatedly, a serious defender.
Jumping jack ants - definitely deadly.
Next up, crashing in at 3, is a meaty head to head of two tough African defenders - the rhino versus the buffalo.
They both have horns, brawn and attitude, but who could steal our slot at number 3? The best way of getting a good look at these beasts is from the air.
If we're going to stand a chance of getting close to them in the air, we need an aircraft that's small, manoeuvrable, perhaps even discreet.
Something like this.
Here we go! Whoo! OK, so now we're airborne.
This wonderful little plane offers us so many opportunities.
We can obviously cover a much broader range.
This is a great way to see Africa's giants.
And there are our first contenders - a group of rhino.
Rhino are built like bulldozers.
Their hides are thickened like armour plating to shield them from jabs from horns during fights.
They weigh up to three tonnes, but despite being big, can sprint at 30 miles an hour! Adults use their horns for fighting and defending their youngsters from lions, crocodiles and hyena.
They'll tackle anyone who gets in their way at a watering hole and basically see anything large as a threat.
So, rhino are big, they're armoured and they look pretty angry.
Surely, as defenders go, they must be a deadly cert for a place on my list? How will the buffalo's horns match up? It's back up in our plane over the plains to see if we can spot any.
What are you seeing? Buffalo.
I see them.
I see the buffalo! Wow, it is a massive herd! Oh, I cannot believe how many there are! I reckon this herd of buffalo must be 200 animals strong.
Oh, look at that! So, in this head to head, we've got a whole herd of buff' strutting their stuff.
Buffalo are big and beefy.
They have heavy-set, bony horns that meet in the middle, forming a bullet-proof boss that protects their skull.
They hang out in herds, so have the strength in numbers to defend their young against Africa's biggest predators - lions.
Working together in a group like an oversized rugby team, the wingers and flankers hold the space while the others scrum down, tackling lions head on.
And they have the size, strength, speed and skewers to do some serious showing off.
As deadly vegetarians go, you don't want to feel the defensive force of either beast, but I can only choose one for my list.
Well, they may not be as thick-skinned as the rhino, but with their teamwork in defence, the buffalo has it for me, and stampedes into the number 3 spot.
We're nearing the top now, and in at number 2 is a classic defender that can see off its predators without even touching them.
It's the rinkhals spitting cobra.
So, eye protectors on, I'm ready to see one in action.
This is a fiery snake.
See, he's rearing up towards me.
Oh.
And just flicked venom all down my arm.
Certainly not as accurate as you see in some spitting cobras, but if it goes in the eyes, it's going to be just as effective.
Now, look at that.
Oh! Perfect.
He actually flicked venom straight at me.
Now, actually, a little bit of it went into my mouth.
You can taste it.
It has a sort of rusty kind of taste to it.
The venom can't harm me unless it gets into my bloodstream.
That actually did go right into my mouth.
What I'm trying to do is restrain the head, so to actually give an impression of what would happen, if an animal was to attack it what it would do.
So I'm just gently hoping that I'll be able to hold the head down.
Wow! OK.
And he just spat straight at the camera.
I think there are a few flecks of venom just on the outside of the lens hood here.
This isn't hurting the snake, but it does allow me to show you how incredible it is.
Now, with the head restrained and the snake really feeling like it has nowhere to go the next thing that the rinkhals does is play dead.
Look at that.
From the ferocious, agitated moving snake we had before, it's gone totally limp.
So, this is the rinkhals' last line of defence.
It's been fast, it's been quick, it's been aggressive, it's spat venom at me, and now it's just playing dead.
No motion whatsoever, and any animal that won't take dead prey, it's not going to be interested, it's going to leave it alone.
Anything that will and gets too close is going to get a nasty surprise and probably a bite.
Now, that's what I call a clever snake.
With its twin tactics of flicking venom and playing dead, it definitely deserves a place in at number 2.
It's time for the top 10 deadly defenders countdown.
Irritating hairy 10 is the goliath bird-eating spider.
The secretive striking adder lurks at 9.
Ape-solutely fantastic gorillas pack a punch at number 8.
Spiny 7 is the lion-taming punky porcupine.
In at 6, the kamikaze moth butterfly caterpillar.
The flightless cassowary kicks and scratches its way in at 5.
Spoiling for a fight at 4, the jack jumper ants sting into the line-up.
Bullish buffaloes rampage in at 3.
Playing dead, but really deadly at 2, is the rinkhals spitting cobra.
But now we come to the number 1, the ultimate defender.
It's the bombardier beetle! What? A little beetle? Now, he might not look like much, but this guy has a secret weapon - he's packing heat! His archenemies are ants.
They bite, nip and swarm around him, trying to eat him.
But don't worry, our bombardier has a seriously impressive trick up his sleeve.
Well, actually, up his bottom! Stored within his abdomen are two powerful liquids that he can mix together, creating a chemical reaction so strong that it sends a jet of boiling acid out of his rear all over attacking ants! The liquid is as hot as boiling water, smells disgusting and burns anything it touches.
It's so hot that the beetle has to jet it out in pulses of 500 squirts per second to stop him from burning his own bottom.
Smoking! The bombardier beetle - a highly toxic, explosive defender that quite frankly blows me away, and a worthy winner of number 1 in my countdown.
So, that's my take on the top 10 deadly defenders! Don't forget to join me next time for more Deadly Top 10s.
Who's going to be the next deadly number 1?