Divorce (2016) s02e01 Episode Script
Night moves
1 Who you have literally nothing to say to.
- I want a divorce.
- Are you drunk? I made one wrong decision.
Julian meant nothing.
I need to know, how many times did you have intercourse? Thirty? Thirty-two? What the fuck?! FRANCES: You had an emotional affair.
Never physical.
I did not cross that line.
Wow!! - Right? - Wow.
You need to destroy him before he destroys you.
He's the father of my children.
Tell your children you're getting divorced.
It's like the first day of divorce school.
- I want to be a good student.
- Robert, let's go.
Your mother and I are getting a divorce.
Do you have any questions? No, I'm good.
It is the perfect spot for the Frances Dufresne Gallery.
It's exciting and terrifying.
Residential real estate is when opportunity meets risk meets ebb meets flow.
That's barely a sentence.
This block is such a boneyard for small businesses.
Oh, but it's perfect for a gallery.
This opening is miraculous.
- Hello? - Hello, Frances.
- This is Robert's new lawyer.
- (GASPING) Tony Silvercreek is one of the most disgusting lawyers.
- What are you doing? - You don't have to act ugly.
That's what I'm here for.
I don't know who your wife's lawyer is, but wow, your assets are frozen.
Court order.
Are you authorised to have custody over your children? We haven't had any custody disputes.
Until now.
FRANCES: You have made a terrible, irreparable mistake.
(TRAIN HORN BLARES) (MUSIC PLAYING) - Ticket, please.
- Oh.
- Thanks.
Thank you, ma'am.
- Thank you.
Ticket, please.
Mm.
Now, hold on there, buddy.
All right, given that your client had a recent payout from her company, it is not out of line to reopen the discussion of spousal support.
Your client called the cops on her! He's lucky he's not in jail.
My client deeply regrets the events of last month.
I do.
I know.
ELAINE: And as the documents clearly show, my client has opened a small gallery.
She does not have the income, nor, frankly, the obligation to support your completely not-infirm client.
He should get a job.
Shovel snow, drive a cab, sell one of those ridiculous flop-houses.
Flip house, Elaine.
Saw what you did there.
It is a sound investment.
Robert gets the children for dinners - on Wednesdays and Saturdays.
- Mm-hmm.
Until he gets the walls on the bathroom of your "sound investment," they do not spend the night.
I'd also like my Eagles albums.
- Wait, what? - "Hotel California", "Live", and "Best Of," volumes one and two.
Fine, whatever.
You know, I'm just gonna step in here and remind you both that these are important decisions, and Elaine and I are more than happy - to do another go-round on the docs.
- Absolutely.
We should officially enter the Eagles into the agreement.
Honestly, we have been doing this for weeks! I'm very happy to go on the record right now and say in front of everybody that Robert can have all of the Eagles albums, okay? One last one.
There you go.
Congratulations.
- "Congratulations," really? - Ah, yeah.
Good luck.
You going to the Southern District dinner? - Like I've got a fucking choice? - (CHUCKLES) I just go to see Judge Werner get shit-faced every year.
- Best part.
- (CHUCKLES) The after-party is fucked-up.
- TONY: Sure is.
- Yeah.
(DOOR CLOSES) Here, do you wanna? - Oh.
- Go.
(SIGHS) You going back to Hastings? Yeah, the 2:49.
- What about you? - Yeah, me, too.
- (HORN HONKS) - MAN: Taxi! (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN OVER P.
A.
: Train to Poughkeepsie now arriving at track one.
Train to Poughkeepsie, track one.
- Hello.
- There you are.
So how did it go? Uh, not what I expected.
You know, I mean, after all the really painful stuff, the thing that you'd think would be hardest The actually signing of the divorce papers It just wasn't hard at all.
It was like, um It was like nothing, you know? One minute, you're married, and the next minute, it's like, "Yeah, bye-bye, see ya, nice knowing ya.
" Anticlimactic is good.
You don't want any last minute fireworks.
- Trust me.
- No, you're right, you're right.
So, uh, yeah, what now? You know, I'm realizing that I spent so much time focusing on what might happen today that I just didn't let myself think about the future.
- You remember you did this? - Mm-hmm.
So, now what? I'm divorced.
- I'm officially divorced.
- It's a milestone.
I went out and got a tattoo of a tiny bird on my ass - when my divorce was finalized.
- Really? Yeah, it started out as Snow White holding a tiny bird, but I couldn't handle the pain, so.
Dallas.
- Robert.
- Hi.
- Same train, different car.
- After what he pulled, I can't even imagine you staying in the same state as him.
- Whoa! - Sorry.
Get out of the way.
Yeah, no, it was, um You know, it was awful.
But I know he regrets it, and I need to move on, you know? I need to clear out all the old shit and just start fresh.
You know, I want our I want our home to be happy again.
I want the kids to be good.
Make sure to take care of Frances, too, okay? Thanks.
Frances will be A-OK.
Okay, I have to go.
I have a client emergency.
Really, I'm not your biggest emergency? - Ugh, not by far.
- Well, that's good news! Hey, thanks for seeing me.
Of course.
Come in.
Hold on a second, when you said, "Come in here," you meant, like, "come in you," right? - Oh, Jesus, don't talk.
- (CHUCKLES) Show me that little birdie, you hot fucking minx! - Come on.
- (GIGGLES) No! Oh, my God! Oh, toilet paper.
Goody, goody, goody.
Why'd you leave your job if it means that we can't have normal cereal? Well, 'cause the company was restructuring.
You know, they were getting They were getting smaller, and they needed people to leave.
And they they actually paid me to go.
You know, it's a A fantastic opportunity.
And, really, kind of fortuitous timing, right? I mean, I it allowed for me to spend more time with you guys, which is exactly what I wanted.
And I could really concentrate on the gallery.
MAN ON P.
A.
: Can I get a pallet lifter to 14, please? Yeah, okay, we'll get this in the normal store.
(GRUNTS) (CRICKETS CHIRPING) (SIGHS) (TRAIN HORN BLARING IN DISTANCE) (MUSIC PLAYING) Hmm.
July 2008? Jesus.
Hmm.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) (BOTH MOANING) We gotta mop the floor, install the glass, paint the walls, and get you a door.
- Exactly.
- I'm a bit shorthanded.
I lost three of my best guys last week.
Goddamn deportations.
- No, they just got better jobs.
- Oh.
So, look, you're the boss.
Right now, we're looking at a month or two, and it'll cost you around 10K.
Craig, it's a shitter, it's not the White House.
I understand that.
I'm just being honest.
You give me a deposit and I get started.
Listen, I know you're against it with money right now.
I want you to have your kids.
You know how to hang drywall, right? I mean, I worked construction through college.
I need some expert hands.
I'm just putting it out there.
Pays 20 bucks an hour.
That is a generous offer, Craig, and I appreciate the reach out, but I got a few irons in the fire still.
Yeah, in fact, I'm late for a meeting in the city.
Maybe you noticed the suit and tie, huh? I did.
I thought maybe you were going to a funeral or something.
- (HUMMING) - Good morning, Frances! - Good morning.
- (DOOR CLOSES) Ta-da! This is to celebrate your papers being signed and for me officially investing in the gallery.
Thank you, thank you.
But it's a loan.
It's a loan.
I'm paying you back.
La, la, la, la, la! I can't hear you.
Nobody deserves Nick's money more than you, except me.
Aw, that's very, very sentimental.
I thought, uh I thought you weren't imbibing.
I'm not.
I'll just watch you drink.
So how are you doing, Frances? Are you doing okay? Uh, I will be once I get a decent night's sleep.
Oh, my goodness, why didn't you say so? Here.
Try this Xanax.
It'll knock you right out.
I took two of these last week before yoga and I woke up four hours later in Zumba.
Can you believe people are still doing Zumba? I don't know, I'm not really a big fan - of taking pills.
- Oh, please, neither am I.
But you're going through a very big transition, Frances.
I mean, break ups are hard.
Hell, marriages are hard.
Yeah, I know that.
I mean, up until a week ago, I literally wanted to kill Nick.
You did literally try and kill him.
Oh, that's old news! You know, we've been doing this exercise out of this relationship book.
It's called "The Positive Proposition," and it has totally saved us! The way the book works is you're not supposed to say anything to your partner unless it's a compliment or something positive.
So because Nick and I have nothing good to say to each other, it's just silent all the time, and it's so sexy! Sexy? The quiet just builds up and builds up, then all you feel is this This kind of primal attraction to one another.
I mean, thank God Nick is at the office most of the day so our time together is limited, but it's still so wonderful.
I mean, if all it takes is silence, distance, and a compliment here and there, marriages should last forever.
Oh, I'm not saying it's for everybody.
I mean, in your case, I certainly don't think it would've mattered.
Hmm, you're being so quiet.
Oh, I get it, you're "positive propositioning" me, aren't you? Oh! - (SIREN BLARING) - MAN: Jesus! Bobby, ha! - How long has it been, huh? - 11 years.
Seems like it was just yesterday, though, huh? Remember that time we took the guy to Luger's and he choked on a piece of his porterhouse? Yeah! And then you were like, "I got it!" And you Heimliched him so hard, he broke a rib! I saved that son of a bitch's life! Then he sued you.
- What an asshole.
- Asshole! Ah, Peter.
So is this office big enough for you? Yeah, I'm one of those douches now.
So how's Frances? She, uh, is divorced.
From me.
Oh, man, sorry to hear.
- (INTERCOM BEEPS) - Yeah? WOMAN: Ballard is here for his 4:00.
Oh, three minutes.
Pete, here's the deal.
I'm thinking about getting back into finance, you know? Come to work for a firm like this, maybe as a money manager.
I used to crush it at the client speak.
I closed every day, all day.
The reason for that People like me, they can understand me both on the phone and in person.
Very likable, Peter.
Very, very likable.
And being likable is a fucking dying art.
(INTERCOM BEEPS) - WOMAN: Ballard's wait - I know.
(SIGHS) Look, Robert, I'm sorry.
I just I don't have anything.
I wish I did.
All right, well, very likable.
- It's your loss.
- Good luck.
(CHATTER) (SOTTO VOCE) Son of a bitch.
Come on, Lila, push it.
Give it to Lexi.
Good.
Go, Lex! Put it up.
Good shot! - Ah! - CROWD: Oh! - (WHISTLE TRILLS) - Halftime! All right, let's bring it in, ladies, bring it in.
All right, let's start off with the highlights.
Good D, Sasha, all right? Bridget, didn't have to hit your inhaler till 10 minutes in.
All right, now to the lowlights.
- We are getting our heinies kicked.
- We suck.
We have a whole second half to turn this thing around.
Let's don't focus on the negative.
We're not gonna focus on Maya missing a layup.
Look, we've all made mistakes.
Like the number of times that I've asked a woman, "Hey, when's your baby due?" And it just turned out that she was, you know, big-boned around the middle.
Or, you know, I could fixate on the mistakes I made in my marriage.
Like the time I gave my wife, Frances, a parrot for our fifth anniversary, when she had never demonstrated any interest in parrots - or, actually, birds in general.
- Dad! Okay, here's the point.
I took the parrot back to the pet store and they found him a new home.
A home full of love and appreciation and, apparently, eight bedrooms.
So overnight, that parrot was a winner, living in a mansion, Bridget.
And the lesson to be learned here is that we can turn this around right away.
We make our future, okay? I want you guys to go out there in the second half, and I want you to crush it, and be the parrot! - (BUZZER BLARES) - Okay, on three, kill.
- One, two, three, kill! - GIRLS: Kill! - (MUSIC PLAYING) - (DOG BARKING) (GRUNTS) (DOORBELL RINGS) - (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) - (LOCK CLICKS) Hey, I'm Mitch.
You must be Robert.
- Come on in.
- Yeah, okay.
Thank you, Mitch.
- (TV PLAYING) - That's Diego and Jeb.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey, Jeb.
- What's up, my man? - All right.
- They were Tony clients, too.
You know, when he called about you, I was like, "Hell, yes!" We got the Silvercreek fan club going on up in here at 64 Bonnymeade! You're in luck 'cause Mikey moved out last week.
He left all his sheets and an old bathing suit, so those are totally up for grabs.
You know, I'm a BYO bathing suit kind of a guy.
But, look, this is just a short-term situation so that I can finish fixing up my house.
Just need a place where my kids can spend the night.
And the random "girlfriend" in quotes, right? Don't have a girlfriend presently, Mitch, but, uh, working on it.
The basement is a perfect play room.
Your kids are gonna love it.
Dude, this room is not for children.
- That's a fucking bong.
- Yeah.
(SIGHS) My shrink says I've got some childhood issues I'm working through.
Tony hooked me up with her Dallas Holt.
She's giving me a deal.
Not just 'cause Tony's boning her.
Tony's boning Dallas? A strong choice.
Nice mustache.
Fuck.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (EXHALES) Some expression in your eyes Adios, fucker.
Overtook me by surprise Where was I? How was I to know? Oh How can we drive to a movie show Hmm.
When the music is here in my car? (GRUNTING) There's a band playing on the radio Oh, God.
With a rhythm of rhyming guitars They're playing "Oh, yeah" on the radio (SINGERS VOCALIZING) Hmm.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) (DOG BARKING) (BIRDS CHIRPING) (SIGHS) (SNORES) (SUCKS TEETH) Hey, Lila, how's it going? Hey, Dad.
Ah! What are you doing here?! Honey, is something wrong? Is everything okay? No, I just wanted to spend the night with you.
Aw, honey.
Aw, you know you can't do that.
It's against the rules.
I'm being the parrot.
I'm changing my future.
Well, hey, fist bump on remembering my coaching, okay? I miss you.
I miss you, too, honey, but I don't even have a toilet that works.
So? I can hold it.
(SIGHS) Does your mom know you're here? Oh, come on, honey.
- We gotta get you home.
- No, Dad! I want to live with you, not her.
All right, look, honey, here's the deal.
I don't have a place for you to stay yet.
As fabulous as this house is going to be one day, it doesn't count, apparently.
I mean, yes, I could sell the house and get a crappy apartment, but the problem is the market is down and no one is buying.
I just have to wait for the market to improve.
And it's gonna be, like, maybe June.
I don't wanna wait until June.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (ENGINE TURNS OFF) A stupid place for that.
Right over the heating vent.
It's a fire hazard.
- ROBERT: Yeah.
- What are you doing here? Lila biked over to my house last night.
What?! Lila, you can't ride your bike in the middle of the night! - That's incredibly dangerous! - I was fine.
No! Oh, my God, McMillan doesn't even have a stop light.
People are hit there in broad daylight! - Oh, my God! - (DOOR CLOSES) Why didn't you call me? I tried.
You didn't pick up.
Oh, that's 'cause I 'cause I took a Xanax, well, half a Xanax.
And then I took the other half, which was basically just dust.
So you're popping pills now? No wonder Lila wants to live with me.
No, I am not popping pills Are you kidding me? Just saying she's not a big Frances fan.
I am not the biggest Frances fan right now either when I'm with her because I am the one that always has to say no to her.
I'm the one that makes her eat generic cereal so I can support us and keep the gallery going.
And you're the good guy.
You're the fun one.
You're the, you know, crazy dad who who takes us to Applebee's and lives in an open-air tree house! Here.
I have no idea why you have three putters.
And I am not a narcissist.
I know because I read the book and I took the quiz.
And yet you still thought it was about you.
Oh, my gosh! No, I'm not doing this with you.
- I'm not doing it.
- Okay.
You shaved your mustache.
I did.
It looks good.
Yeah, 'cause your face looks, you know, like, less Is that a compliment? That sounds like a semi-compliment.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
You cut your hair.
Oh, yeah, just a little bit.
Thanks for the putters.
(GRUNTS) (DOOR OPENS) - NICK: Ah! - (BOTH SIGHING) (PANTS) Diane, I have to tell you, the last week has been just amazing.
Just you and I, us.
I hate saying goodbye nonverbally to you in the morning.
I know, me, too.
I wanna spend more time with you, my love.
You do? Maybe we should go down to Miami for the long weekend.
Have a real vacation.
I was thinking something bigger.
Rome? Paris?! Paris! Or we could do that meditation safari we've always wanted to do.
I'm going to retire.
Diane? Say something.
It's great.
(SIGHS) Hello, chickadees.
How was school? - It was okay.
- Okay? Okay is okay! Lila? Fine.
Fine? Fine's better than okay.
Follow me.
I have a surprise for you both out back.
Okay.
You bought a trampoline? Yes, I did.
Indeed, I did, yes.
It was gently used on craigslist, so forget about the old swing set 'cause the future is trampolines.
Remember how you always wanted one, Tom? Yeah, that was on my Christmas list in like, 2010.
Then Merry Christmas! Let's give it a whirl! We'll all do it together.
We'll give her a little test run.
(GRUNTS) Ooh, God, wow! Took some unexpected core work.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh! Oh, my God, it's so good! Lila, get on up here! - No, thanks.
- Oh! Tom, you know you want to.
Yeah, I kind of don't.
Oh, you kind of do! Your legs are saying yes.
Don't let your head say no.
Lila, come on! It's so good! It's awesome.
It's better than I remembered.
We'll bounce together.
Get up here.
Come on, look! Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Remember this crazy maneuver? (GASPS) Ow! God! (SCOFFS) (PANTING) (SOBS) (CRYING) (MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGER VOCALIZING) Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea You lay your bets and then you pay the price The things we do for love The things we do for love Communication is the problem to the answer You've got her number and your hand is on the phone The weather's turned and all the lines are down The things we do for love The things we do for love Like walking in the rain and the snow When there's nowhere to go And you're feelin' like a part of you is dying And you're looking for the answer in her eyes You think you're gonna break up Then she says she wants to make up Ooh, you made me love you Ooh, you've got a way Motherfucker.
Ooh, you had me crawling up the wall (VOCALIZING) Like walking in the rain and the snow When there's nowhere to go And you're feelin' like a part of you is dying You think you're gonna break up Then she says she wants to make up Ooh, you made me love you Ooh, you've got a way Ooh, you had me crawling up the wall A compromise would surely help the situation Agree to disagree, but disagree to part When after all, it's just a compromise Of the things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love.
- I want a divorce.
- Are you drunk? I made one wrong decision.
Julian meant nothing.
I need to know, how many times did you have intercourse? Thirty? Thirty-two? What the fuck?! FRANCES: You had an emotional affair.
Never physical.
I did not cross that line.
Wow!! - Right? - Wow.
You need to destroy him before he destroys you.
He's the father of my children.
Tell your children you're getting divorced.
It's like the first day of divorce school.
- I want to be a good student.
- Robert, let's go.
Your mother and I are getting a divorce.
Do you have any questions? No, I'm good.
It is the perfect spot for the Frances Dufresne Gallery.
It's exciting and terrifying.
Residential real estate is when opportunity meets risk meets ebb meets flow.
That's barely a sentence.
This block is such a boneyard for small businesses.
Oh, but it's perfect for a gallery.
This opening is miraculous.
- Hello? - Hello, Frances.
- This is Robert's new lawyer.
- (GASPING) Tony Silvercreek is one of the most disgusting lawyers.
- What are you doing? - You don't have to act ugly.
That's what I'm here for.
I don't know who your wife's lawyer is, but wow, your assets are frozen.
Court order.
Are you authorised to have custody over your children? We haven't had any custody disputes.
Until now.
FRANCES: You have made a terrible, irreparable mistake.
(TRAIN HORN BLARES) (MUSIC PLAYING) - Ticket, please.
- Oh.
- Thanks.
Thank you, ma'am.
- Thank you.
Ticket, please.
Mm.
Now, hold on there, buddy.
All right, given that your client had a recent payout from her company, it is not out of line to reopen the discussion of spousal support.
Your client called the cops on her! He's lucky he's not in jail.
My client deeply regrets the events of last month.
I do.
I know.
ELAINE: And as the documents clearly show, my client has opened a small gallery.
She does not have the income, nor, frankly, the obligation to support your completely not-infirm client.
He should get a job.
Shovel snow, drive a cab, sell one of those ridiculous flop-houses.
Flip house, Elaine.
Saw what you did there.
It is a sound investment.
Robert gets the children for dinners - on Wednesdays and Saturdays.
- Mm-hmm.
Until he gets the walls on the bathroom of your "sound investment," they do not spend the night.
I'd also like my Eagles albums.
- Wait, what? - "Hotel California", "Live", and "Best Of," volumes one and two.
Fine, whatever.
You know, I'm just gonna step in here and remind you both that these are important decisions, and Elaine and I are more than happy - to do another go-round on the docs.
- Absolutely.
We should officially enter the Eagles into the agreement.
Honestly, we have been doing this for weeks! I'm very happy to go on the record right now and say in front of everybody that Robert can have all of the Eagles albums, okay? One last one.
There you go.
Congratulations.
- "Congratulations," really? - Ah, yeah.
Good luck.
You going to the Southern District dinner? - Like I've got a fucking choice? - (CHUCKLES) I just go to see Judge Werner get shit-faced every year.
- Best part.
- (CHUCKLES) The after-party is fucked-up.
- TONY: Sure is.
- Yeah.
(DOOR CLOSES) Here, do you wanna? - Oh.
- Go.
(SIGHS) You going back to Hastings? Yeah, the 2:49.
- What about you? - Yeah, me, too.
- (HORN HONKS) - MAN: Taxi! (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN OVER P.
A.
: Train to Poughkeepsie now arriving at track one.
Train to Poughkeepsie, track one.
- Hello.
- There you are.
So how did it go? Uh, not what I expected.
You know, I mean, after all the really painful stuff, the thing that you'd think would be hardest The actually signing of the divorce papers It just wasn't hard at all.
It was like, um It was like nothing, you know? One minute, you're married, and the next minute, it's like, "Yeah, bye-bye, see ya, nice knowing ya.
" Anticlimactic is good.
You don't want any last minute fireworks.
- Trust me.
- No, you're right, you're right.
So, uh, yeah, what now? You know, I'm realizing that I spent so much time focusing on what might happen today that I just didn't let myself think about the future.
- You remember you did this? - Mm-hmm.
So, now what? I'm divorced.
- I'm officially divorced.
- It's a milestone.
I went out and got a tattoo of a tiny bird on my ass - when my divorce was finalized.
- Really? Yeah, it started out as Snow White holding a tiny bird, but I couldn't handle the pain, so.
Dallas.
- Robert.
- Hi.
- Same train, different car.
- After what he pulled, I can't even imagine you staying in the same state as him.
- Whoa! - Sorry.
Get out of the way.
Yeah, no, it was, um You know, it was awful.
But I know he regrets it, and I need to move on, you know? I need to clear out all the old shit and just start fresh.
You know, I want our I want our home to be happy again.
I want the kids to be good.
Make sure to take care of Frances, too, okay? Thanks.
Frances will be A-OK.
Okay, I have to go.
I have a client emergency.
Really, I'm not your biggest emergency? - Ugh, not by far.
- Well, that's good news! Hey, thanks for seeing me.
Of course.
Come in.
Hold on a second, when you said, "Come in here," you meant, like, "come in you," right? - Oh, Jesus, don't talk.
- (CHUCKLES) Show me that little birdie, you hot fucking minx! - Come on.
- (GIGGLES) No! Oh, my God! Oh, toilet paper.
Goody, goody, goody.
Why'd you leave your job if it means that we can't have normal cereal? Well, 'cause the company was restructuring.
You know, they were getting They were getting smaller, and they needed people to leave.
And they they actually paid me to go.
You know, it's a A fantastic opportunity.
And, really, kind of fortuitous timing, right? I mean, I it allowed for me to spend more time with you guys, which is exactly what I wanted.
And I could really concentrate on the gallery.
MAN ON P.
A.
: Can I get a pallet lifter to 14, please? Yeah, okay, we'll get this in the normal store.
(GRUNTS) (CRICKETS CHIRPING) (SIGHS) (TRAIN HORN BLARING IN DISTANCE) (MUSIC PLAYING) Hmm.
July 2008? Jesus.
Hmm.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) (BOTH MOANING) We gotta mop the floor, install the glass, paint the walls, and get you a door.
- Exactly.
- I'm a bit shorthanded.
I lost three of my best guys last week.
Goddamn deportations.
- No, they just got better jobs.
- Oh.
So, look, you're the boss.
Right now, we're looking at a month or two, and it'll cost you around 10K.
Craig, it's a shitter, it's not the White House.
I understand that.
I'm just being honest.
You give me a deposit and I get started.
Listen, I know you're against it with money right now.
I want you to have your kids.
You know how to hang drywall, right? I mean, I worked construction through college.
I need some expert hands.
I'm just putting it out there.
Pays 20 bucks an hour.
That is a generous offer, Craig, and I appreciate the reach out, but I got a few irons in the fire still.
Yeah, in fact, I'm late for a meeting in the city.
Maybe you noticed the suit and tie, huh? I did.
I thought maybe you were going to a funeral or something.
- (HUMMING) - Good morning, Frances! - Good morning.
- (DOOR CLOSES) Ta-da! This is to celebrate your papers being signed and for me officially investing in the gallery.
Thank you, thank you.
But it's a loan.
It's a loan.
I'm paying you back.
La, la, la, la, la! I can't hear you.
Nobody deserves Nick's money more than you, except me.
Aw, that's very, very sentimental.
I thought, uh I thought you weren't imbibing.
I'm not.
I'll just watch you drink.
So how are you doing, Frances? Are you doing okay? Uh, I will be once I get a decent night's sleep.
Oh, my goodness, why didn't you say so? Here.
Try this Xanax.
It'll knock you right out.
I took two of these last week before yoga and I woke up four hours later in Zumba.
Can you believe people are still doing Zumba? I don't know, I'm not really a big fan - of taking pills.
- Oh, please, neither am I.
But you're going through a very big transition, Frances.
I mean, break ups are hard.
Hell, marriages are hard.
Yeah, I know that.
I mean, up until a week ago, I literally wanted to kill Nick.
You did literally try and kill him.
Oh, that's old news! You know, we've been doing this exercise out of this relationship book.
It's called "The Positive Proposition," and it has totally saved us! The way the book works is you're not supposed to say anything to your partner unless it's a compliment or something positive.
So because Nick and I have nothing good to say to each other, it's just silent all the time, and it's so sexy! Sexy? The quiet just builds up and builds up, then all you feel is this This kind of primal attraction to one another.
I mean, thank God Nick is at the office most of the day so our time together is limited, but it's still so wonderful.
I mean, if all it takes is silence, distance, and a compliment here and there, marriages should last forever.
Oh, I'm not saying it's for everybody.
I mean, in your case, I certainly don't think it would've mattered.
Hmm, you're being so quiet.
Oh, I get it, you're "positive propositioning" me, aren't you? Oh! - (SIREN BLARING) - MAN: Jesus! Bobby, ha! - How long has it been, huh? - 11 years.
Seems like it was just yesterday, though, huh? Remember that time we took the guy to Luger's and he choked on a piece of his porterhouse? Yeah! And then you were like, "I got it!" And you Heimliched him so hard, he broke a rib! I saved that son of a bitch's life! Then he sued you.
- What an asshole.
- Asshole! Ah, Peter.
So is this office big enough for you? Yeah, I'm one of those douches now.
So how's Frances? She, uh, is divorced.
From me.
Oh, man, sorry to hear.
- (INTERCOM BEEPS) - Yeah? WOMAN: Ballard is here for his 4:00.
Oh, three minutes.
Pete, here's the deal.
I'm thinking about getting back into finance, you know? Come to work for a firm like this, maybe as a money manager.
I used to crush it at the client speak.
I closed every day, all day.
The reason for that People like me, they can understand me both on the phone and in person.
Very likable, Peter.
Very, very likable.
And being likable is a fucking dying art.
(INTERCOM BEEPS) - WOMAN: Ballard's wait - I know.
(SIGHS) Look, Robert, I'm sorry.
I just I don't have anything.
I wish I did.
All right, well, very likable.
- It's your loss.
- Good luck.
(CHATTER) (SOTTO VOCE) Son of a bitch.
Come on, Lila, push it.
Give it to Lexi.
Good.
Go, Lex! Put it up.
Good shot! - Ah! - CROWD: Oh! - (WHISTLE TRILLS) - Halftime! All right, let's bring it in, ladies, bring it in.
All right, let's start off with the highlights.
Good D, Sasha, all right? Bridget, didn't have to hit your inhaler till 10 minutes in.
All right, now to the lowlights.
- We are getting our heinies kicked.
- We suck.
We have a whole second half to turn this thing around.
Let's don't focus on the negative.
We're not gonna focus on Maya missing a layup.
Look, we've all made mistakes.
Like the number of times that I've asked a woman, "Hey, when's your baby due?" And it just turned out that she was, you know, big-boned around the middle.
Or, you know, I could fixate on the mistakes I made in my marriage.
Like the time I gave my wife, Frances, a parrot for our fifth anniversary, when she had never demonstrated any interest in parrots - or, actually, birds in general.
- Dad! Okay, here's the point.
I took the parrot back to the pet store and they found him a new home.
A home full of love and appreciation and, apparently, eight bedrooms.
So overnight, that parrot was a winner, living in a mansion, Bridget.
And the lesson to be learned here is that we can turn this around right away.
We make our future, okay? I want you guys to go out there in the second half, and I want you to crush it, and be the parrot! - (BUZZER BLARES) - Okay, on three, kill.
- One, two, three, kill! - GIRLS: Kill! - (MUSIC PLAYING) - (DOG BARKING) (GRUNTS) (DOORBELL RINGS) - (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) - (LOCK CLICKS) Hey, I'm Mitch.
You must be Robert.
- Come on in.
- Yeah, okay.
Thank you, Mitch.
- (TV PLAYING) - That's Diego and Jeb.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey, Jeb.
- What's up, my man? - All right.
- They were Tony clients, too.
You know, when he called about you, I was like, "Hell, yes!" We got the Silvercreek fan club going on up in here at 64 Bonnymeade! You're in luck 'cause Mikey moved out last week.
He left all his sheets and an old bathing suit, so those are totally up for grabs.
You know, I'm a BYO bathing suit kind of a guy.
But, look, this is just a short-term situation so that I can finish fixing up my house.
Just need a place where my kids can spend the night.
And the random "girlfriend" in quotes, right? Don't have a girlfriend presently, Mitch, but, uh, working on it.
The basement is a perfect play room.
Your kids are gonna love it.
Dude, this room is not for children.
- That's a fucking bong.
- Yeah.
(SIGHS) My shrink says I've got some childhood issues I'm working through.
Tony hooked me up with her Dallas Holt.
She's giving me a deal.
Not just 'cause Tony's boning her.
Tony's boning Dallas? A strong choice.
Nice mustache.
Fuck.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (EXHALES) Some expression in your eyes Adios, fucker.
Overtook me by surprise Where was I? How was I to know? Oh How can we drive to a movie show Hmm.
When the music is here in my car? (GRUNTING) There's a band playing on the radio Oh, God.
With a rhythm of rhyming guitars They're playing "Oh, yeah" on the radio (SINGERS VOCALIZING) Hmm.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) (DOG BARKING) (BIRDS CHIRPING) (SIGHS) (SNORES) (SUCKS TEETH) Hey, Lila, how's it going? Hey, Dad.
Ah! What are you doing here?! Honey, is something wrong? Is everything okay? No, I just wanted to spend the night with you.
Aw, honey.
Aw, you know you can't do that.
It's against the rules.
I'm being the parrot.
I'm changing my future.
Well, hey, fist bump on remembering my coaching, okay? I miss you.
I miss you, too, honey, but I don't even have a toilet that works.
So? I can hold it.
(SIGHS) Does your mom know you're here? Oh, come on, honey.
- We gotta get you home.
- No, Dad! I want to live with you, not her.
All right, look, honey, here's the deal.
I don't have a place for you to stay yet.
As fabulous as this house is going to be one day, it doesn't count, apparently.
I mean, yes, I could sell the house and get a crappy apartment, but the problem is the market is down and no one is buying.
I just have to wait for the market to improve.
And it's gonna be, like, maybe June.
I don't wanna wait until June.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (ENGINE TURNS OFF) A stupid place for that.
Right over the heating vent.
It's a fire hazard.
- ROBERT: Yeah.
- What are you doing here? Lila biked over to my house last night.
What?! Lila, you can't ride your bike in the middle of the night! - That's incredibly dangerous! - I was fine.
No! Oh, my God, McMillan doesn't even have a stop light.
People are hit there in broad daylight! - Oh, my God! - (DOOR CLOSES) Why didn't you call me? I tried.
You didn't pick up.
Oh, that's 'cause I 'cause I took a Xanax, well, half a Xanax.
And then I took the other half, which was basically just dust.
So you're popping pills now? No wonder Lila wants to live with me.
No, I am not popping pills Are you kidding me? Just saying she's not a big Frances fan.
I am not the biggest Frances fan right now either when I'm with her because I am the one that always has to say no to her.
I'm the one that makes her eat generic cereal so I can support us and keep the gallery going.
And you're the good guy.
You're the fun one.
You're the, you know, crazy dad who who takes us to Applebee's and lives in an open-air tree house! Here.
I have no idea why you have three putters.
And I am not a narcissist.
I know because I read the book and I took the quiz.
And yet you still thought it was about you.
Oh, my gosh! No, I'm not doing this with you.
- I'm not doing it.
- Okay.
You shaved your mustache.
I did.
It looks good.
Yeah, 'cause your face looks, you know, like, less Is that a compliment? That sounds like a semi-compliment.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
You cut your hair.
Oh, yeah, just a little bit.
Thanks for the putters.
(GRUNTS) (DOOR OPENS) - NICK: Ah! - (BOTH SIGHING) (PANTS) Diane, I have to tell you, the last week has been just amazing.
Just you and I, us.
I hate saying goodbye nonverbally to you in the morning.
I know, me, too.
I wanna spend more time with you, my love.
You do? Maybe we should go down to Miami for the long weekend.
Have a real vacation.
I was thinking something bigger.
Rome? Paris?! Paris! Or we could do that meditation safari we've always wanted to do.
I'm going to retire.
Diane? Say something.
It's great.
(SIGHS) Hello, chickadees.
How was school? - It was okay.
- Okay? Okay is okay! Lila? Fine.
Fine? Fine's better than okay.
Follow me.
I have a surprise for you both out back.
Okay.
You bought a trampoline? Yes, I did.
Indeed, I did, yes.
It was gently used on craigslist, so forget about the old swing set 'cause the future is trampolines.
Remember how you always wanted one, Tom? Yeah, that was on my Christmas list in like, 2010.
Then Merry Christmas! Let's give it a whirl! We'll all do it together.
We'll give her a little test run.
(GRUNTS) Ooh, God, wow! Took some unexpected core work.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh! Oh, my God, it's so good! Lila, get on up here! - No, thanks.
- Oh! Tom, you know you want to.
Yeah, I kind of don't.
Oh, you kind of do! Your legs are saying yes.
Don't let your head say no.
Lila, come on! It's so good! It's awesome.
It's better than I remembered.
We'll bounce together.
Get up here.
Come on, look! Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Remember this crazy maneuver? (GASPS) Ow! God! (SCOFFS) (PANTING) (SOBS) (CRYING) (MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGER VOCALIZING) Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea You lay your bets and then you pay the price The things we do for love The things we do for love Communication is the problem to the answer You've got her number and your hand is on the phone The weather's turned and all the lines are down The things we do for love The things we do for love Like walking in the rain and the snow When there's nowhere to go And you're feelin' like a part of you is dying And you're looking for the answer in her eyes You think you're gonna break up Then she says she wants to make up Ooh, you made me love you Ooh, you've got a way Motherfucker.
Ooh, you had me crawling up the wall (VOCALIZING) Like walking in the rain and the snow When there's nowhere to go And you're feelin' like a part of you is dying You think you're gonna break up Then she says she wants to make up Ooh, you made me love you Ooh, you've got a way Ooh, you had me crawling up the wall A compromise would surely help the situation Agree to disagree, but disagree to part When after all, it's just a compromise Of the things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love The things we do for love.