Doogie Kamealoha, M.D. (2021) s02e01 Episode Script

1
BENNY: Previously on
Doogie Kamealoha, M.D
She's like a real-life Doogie
Howser. That's why we call her Doogie.
LAHELA: For as long as I can remember,
I've been in a rush to grow up
getting into med school,
becoming a doctor,
my first relationship.
- I love you, Lahela.
- I love you, too.
- LAHELA: What's wrong?
- That was the Global Surf League.
They want me to join the
tour this summer in Australia.
No, you're not going with your
boyfriend to Australia at 16.
CLARA: Being a great mom
means living your life
as an example for your kids.
I can't tell you to be
you if I'm not being me.
Please join me in congratulating
your new chief of staff, Dr. Hannon.
Uncle John's back to busting my chops.
I guess the healing chant worked.
BENNY: He's the last
one of that generation.
The last one that can
talk story about my dad.
When you take someone's role in
the family, it means they're gone.
I'm not ready to say goodbye.
You need to go to Australia.
Are you sure this is
really what you want?
Yeah.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
(WAVES CRASHING)
Last one in's a rotten egg.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(WAVES CRASHING)
STEPH: Lahela, Lahela. Lahela!
Do you like my Gel-X nails?
You show them to me every five
minutes. And yes, I love them.
(CHUCKLES)
Let me guess. Daydreaming about Walter?
Only two more weeks and he's back
from his Australian surf tour.
A perfectly bronzed
boomerang returning to me.
Oh.
MAN: Shark! Somebody help!
- Help!
- (SIREN BLARING)
CASSIE'S MOM: I can't find my daughter.
Cassie.
Cassie.
Oh, my God. Cassie!
- I got her.
- MAN: There's a shark out there.
- I think she got bit.
- Hey, do you mind if I borrow that?
- Dude, there's a shark out there.
- Yeah, I heard.
(SIREN BLARING)
(ENGINE REVS)
CASSIE: Help! Help! It bit me!
LAHELA: I'm coming.
Just stay calm, Cassie.
Help!
(SIREN BLARING)
I'm bleeding. I think the shark bit me.
It hurts, it hurts.
(BOTH GRUNT)
She did it.
(ENGINE REVS)
(CROWD APPLAUSE)
(LAHELA GRUNTS)
LAHELA: It's okay. I
got you. Here we go.
CASSIE'S MOM: Oh, my God, sweetie.
Are you okay?
Eight-centimeter bite radius
along the lateral triceps.
Puncture appears to have
missed a humeral circumflex
and brachial artery.
Don't worry, Cassie. I'm going
to take care of you. Okay.
Thelma, Louise, I need your towel.
Thank you. Okay.
Endless Summer, I need your Padillac.
Thank you!
Lahela, is there
anything I can do to help?
Yes.
Put in a mobile order for some
boba because we're done here.
Cassie, are you more of a matcha
or mango popping kind of girl?
This one's on me.
- Thank you so much. And mango.
- Okay.
Who is this kid?
We've been over this.
She's Doogie Kamealoha,
M.D., and I'm her best friend.
Someone get me a harpoon.
I've got a shark to hunt.
(THEME MUSIC)
Dude, it looks like Walter's
living his best life in Australia.
I've been sucked deep into his Insta.
Is that weird of me? Don't answer that.
It is like, he is living
in an Abercrombie ad.
He's tan, he's happy. And
did he even pack a shirt?
Well, it's his dream to
be sponsored as a surfer,
so he's trying to raise his profile.
- How long distance going?
- Oh, better than ever.
It's going to take a lot more
than 5,071 miles to keep us apart.
Spoken like a
true 16-year-old.
- What?
- With love.
We've both done long distance.
We know it can be tough.
Yeah, you know, it's only natural.
The person who moves away
experiences so many new things,
they change and then you
just, like, grow apart.
Exactly. You stop communicating.
You stop sharing things.
Ugh. When they stop telling you
stuff, that's when you know it's over.
Also, when they start
selling your stuff.
Argh. Okay, well, with love, that's
not happening with Walter and me.
Are you talking about a
long distance relationship?
It's doomed.
It's the same chances
as that overweight smoker
whose arteries I just replaced. Zero.
Well, Walter and I are very happy.
Oh, really? Okay, let's see here.
He's a good looking guy
on his own in Australia.
What do you think's going on over there?
I mean, to those girls,
he's the one with the accent.
You know how sexy accents
are. I wish I had one.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
CLARA: Merge, damn it.
Clara, you're still at this?
You've been working on this
budget since last night.
I have to present it to
the hospital board today.
I had no idea being chief of staff
would require this
many Excel spreadsheets.
Insert cell. Damn it, merge.
There you go. You should be good.
Back in my finance days,
I used to rock Excel hard.
Ah, remember those super
long shorts I had to wear?
- Pants?
- (GRUNTS)
- You ready to go, Kai?
- If we're taking your car,
then we should have left an hour ago.
That thing always breaks down.
The surf wagon runs great.
Uncle John sold me that
car when I was in my 20s.
Hard to believe he's gone.
- Uncle John was the best.
- Ah.
I really miss his
weird, guttural laugh.
It was like a whale in heat.
(MAKING WHALE'S NOISE)
(ALL LAUGH)
He never laughed harder than
when it was at my expense.
He was always giving me a hard time.
Like when he sold me the surf wagon,
he loosened the steering wheel.
So when I drove away, it
fell off and I hit a tree.
That's so dangerous.
Hawaii style, huh? Just good fun.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
Brian Patrick, let's go!
- Which one looks more vaporwave?
- I'm sorry, what?
Seventh grade starts in three days.
I'm trying to find my aesthetic.
You know, my vibe.
Am I cottagecore, health goth,
dark academia, that girl, E-boy,
VSCO, angelcore, Criss Angelcore
What are any of those things?
It's like, "Who should I be?"
Oh, how about yourself?
Wow, you're so momcore.
Thank you.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Come on, Donna. Look at him.
His skin, his eyes. He's jaundiced.
Okay, it could be hepatitis,
a stone, hemolytic anemia.
It could be cancer, sepsis,
cholestasis, anything.
We have to get him
admitted and run some tests.
I'm sorry, Dr. Kamealoha, but
he doesn't have an address.
No Social Security number and
no insurance. I mean, come on.
He is a human being. Is that not enough?
He's stable and can get
care at the county hospital.
That's policy.
Hi. Go to the County
Health Care Center, okay?
Ask for Dr. Bennett. She's a friend.
Oh, and here.
Take the number three bus.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
(MELLOW MUSIC)
I'm just doing my job.
You know that little pink donor card
on the back of your driver's license?
- Yes.
- Scratch off heart.
Dr. Kamealoha, a word.
You need to bring it down a notch.
Mom, that is the fourth unhoused
person we've turned away this week.
And I'm not talking
cuts and scrapes here.
Look, I don't like it either.
But there are county
facilities set up to help them.
It's just so messed up.
I mean, at the beach,
I was able to jump in
and give someone medical care, but
I can't do that in my own hospital?
- I mean, it just doesn't feel right.
- Those are the rules.
We don't have the
funds to help everyone.
And as chief of staff, it's
my job to balance the budget
and I have a board to answer to.
I know it's not ideal,
but it is what it is.
Oh, way to be the change, Mom.
(SCOFFS)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
And that's this year's
budget. (SOFT CHUCKLE)
How is it, Dr. Hannon,
that you're running an
average occupancy of 90 percent
with a gross income
of 200 million dollars,
but your bottom line is barely
one-tenth of one percent in the black?
That's a hair away from red ink.
Marjorie, I'm well aware
of how close the red ink is.
What are you spending all that money on?
The reconstruction of the Mauka
Wing, among other things
Well, I, for one, would like to
see where this money is going.
Well, let's set up an
appointment, shall we?
- Next week
- Tomorrow morning, 8:00 a.m.
Tomorrow it is.
- VOICE (OVER PA): X-ray tech to Floor 2F.
- (DOG WHIMPERS)
This is a hospital
But
- BILLY: But
- I will take care of this.
Hi. What's the problem?
I was on my bike and Pickles
was running alongside.
All of a sudden, she was gone.
I heard the brakes, and then I
saw this car go right over her
and keep on going.
Why don't you take her to the vet?
My family, my family can't afford that.
Hospitals have to help everybody, right?
Please, you've got to help me.
You've got to help Pickles.
I can't believe how long
you took to get ready.
Yeah. What are we going for here?
You look like a tourist who's been
carried to the top of Mount Everest.
This is hypebeast.
It's basically people who
embrace the latest trends.
Emphasis on the sneakers.
You need full-coverage
sandals? Toe jail?
- No, thank you.
- Hypebeast?
Big jump from your current vibe
of Target Cat and Jack line.
If it's not a risk, it's not fashion.
(ENGINE SPUTTERS)
Oh, man.
Just give me a sec.
Uncle John, taught me this trick.
Take a bobby pin and you
wiggle it in the ignition
and it always starts right back up.
I think the surf wagon is officially
(IN HAWAIIAN) dead.
should light up some flares,
but BP could probably
just go stand outside.
Yes, we can finally get a new
car. How about a Porsche 9-11?
You're right. You're not ready.
We'll start you off with a Boxster.
Two fracture lines across
the neck of the femur.
CHARLES: But the fragments
are in good position.
NOELANI: No joint replacement
necessary. It could be pinned.
How did you get a
dog through the X-ray?
Heavy sedation.
And Dr. Chin was on duty.
His iPhone background is his
pug, so I knew I had an in.
Hmm. So what's your plan, Doog?
Well, I need to stabilize
her, get her out of shock.
They're clear breaks, so
it should be easy to repair.
Who's going to do it?
- We are.
- "We?"
We're not vets.
Think about how much a vet would cost.
Thousands of dollars
this kid doesn't have.
And we can help him for free.
He's out of options.
We are his last hope.
Okay, well, how are you going
to get a dog into the O.R.?
A trench coat and glasses?
I mean, adorbs, but come on.
Number four in the Mauka Wing.
The workers haven't
finished the outer hall
but the room is totally
ready and functional.
We'll be in and out half hour max.
There's no way we can do this.
Okay.
I'll let you tell Pickles, then.
- (SOFT GRUNT)
- NOELANI: Oh.
I really hate you, Lahela.
Oh, who can say no to this?
Hi, Pickles.
In.
- Yes.
- CHARLES: Aw.
I can never say no to a cute dog,
or a dance floor line,
or guys with tattoos.
(LAUGHTER)
You better keep him
away from Walter then.
What? Walter doesn't have a tattoo.
Yes, he does.
On his thigh.
Have you been on the 'gram today?
What the
Wait, he got a tattoo
and didn't tell you?
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.
It's no big deal. Right, Noelani?
Oh, no, actually, tattoos are a
big deal in Polynesian culture.
I mean, for a guy like Walter,
getting a tattoo marks his transition
from being a little boy
to becoming a man.
I mean, this is huge.
What? That's what it
said on his caption.
(BENNY GRUNTS)
Hey, Dad, I did some new car research,
and there are cars that get better gas
mileage than eight miles per gallon.
All of them.
Oh, thanks, Kai. It's helpful.
(CLANKS)
I'm going to fix this baby up
and have it working in no time.
(RATTLES)
Starting now.
I'm an E-boy now.
It really speaks to
my introverted nature.
What's an E-boy?
Honestly, Dad, it would
be more productive
to try to teach you about aesthetics
than it would to try and
fix this hunk of junk.
I mean, look at all these dents.
Hey, dents mean you had fun in a car.
This one is from when Uncle threw
a mongoose in my lap on the H-1.
Those scratches are from
when he made me surf the car.
I was up on the roof
washing and off we went.
Cops pulled us over
to compliment my form.
And also arrest us.
Great night.
Do you think maybe you don't
want to get rid of this car
because it was Uncle John's?
No. It's just me being frugal. Look.
(CLATTERS)
I haven't paid for soy
sauce in over 20 years.
So you got a tattoo?
Yeah. Isn't it dope?
It is. I just
It seems like a culturally
significant tattoo
is something you would
tell your girlfriend about.
Sorry, it's been so crazy out here.
Can I make it up to you?
You want to do a FaceTime date?
You find a beach. I'll go to a beach
and spend some time just me and you.
I would love that.
Great.
All right, the waves are hitting.
Me and Blake gotta get
a session. I love you.
Love you, too. Bye.
How's the patient?
- Stable.
- CHARLES: And shedding.
Ready for the Knowles pins.
Hand me the drill.
Hold her steady. We need
to stabilize the leg.
(RATTLES)
Now, this next operating room
is not only top of the line
but it was designed with a window
so we can use it for teaching.
It looks as though there's
a surgery going on right now.
Yes, it does.
Excuse me. What surgery is this?
Uh
Just a little minor surgery.
We had to use this facility because
everything else was backed up.
(GASPS)
Is that a dog?
(SCOFFS)
What the hell were you thinking?
It's my first week as chief of
staff and you operate on a dog?
At least someone was
getting help around here.
What's that supposed to mean?
You said you wanted to
become chief of staff
so you could make a difference.
We turn away tons of
people who need our help.
All you care about is the stupid budget.
Lahela, you don't get it.
The budget is everything.
If I, if I don't keep it
on track, nobody gets help.
The hospital closes.
And if I fail
they won't put another
woman in this position.
Not for a long time.
I know operating on a dog was crazy.
But I just, I hit my breaking point,
and I just couldn't tell one more
person that I couldn't help them.
Well, because of this little
stunt, you won't be helping anyone.
The board has officially suspended you.
(SIGHS) What?
- No, they can't do that.
- They can.
They did.
I tried to stand up for you
Just like you did for
all the uninsured people
you won't let me treat.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey, I heard we're doing
animal surgeries now.
I was going to give my cat
a boob job. Is that cool?
Think about it.
- (SIGHS DEEPLY)
- (DOOR CLOSES)
Hey, you know what we haven't tried?
To clear the carburetor.
Hand me a screwdriver.
(BENNY GRUNTS)
- Almost there.
- Dad, you've been at this for a while.
It's over.
Just a little bit more.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
You okay?
You're right.
It's not the car.
It's Uncle John's birthday on Friday.
And I miss him.
We all miss him.
It's just going to be weird
he's not here to celebrate it.
Remember when he used to get us together
at the beach and
make us all tell stories
- of how amazing he is?
- Yes.
And every time you started
to talk, he blew an air horn.
(BOTH LAUGH)
He used to love to bust my chops.
One time I told him he
was like a father to me.
He said, "Boy, I've slept on
pillows that weren't as soft as you."
(BOTH LAUGH)
(SIGHS) Ah.
You know, just because
he's not here doesn't mean
that we can't still celebrate him.
Maybe we can keep his
birthday tradition going.
Guys, I think this is it.
Indie Kid is my jam.
And, yes, I know this is for
Aunt Janice's 40th birthday.
I'll return it though.
(WAVES CRASHING)
(LINE RINGING)
Lahela, you're not going to believe
this. I just got sponsored by Nuked!
The energy drink.
- Wow. That's amazing.
- FRIEND 1 (OVER PHONE): We did it.
- What? Yeah.
- FRIEND 1: We did it, man.
- Yeah, right.
- (MAN LAUGHS)
- Oh, thanks man. It's pretty cool, huh?
- FRIEND 2: Yeah, right.
Yeah, Blake's throwing this impromptu
party together for me to celebrate.
Isn't that so nice of Blake?
Oh, so do you want to
do our date another time?
Crap. Right, our date.
- Let me call you right back, okay?
- Okay, because I can
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(WAVES CRASHING)
(LIGHT MUSIC)
(RIP TIDE SHOUTS)
Is papier-mâché
poisoning our children?
Toenails, do we really need them?
How many jellybeans does
it take to kill a man?
And can I bench 150?
I'm Rip Tide,
and you'll find out after the break.
(LAUGHS) I love this guy.
It's nice to see you smile again.
Sorry about your surf wagon.
I think it's time to move on and
get a new car.
Oh, a new car where all the doors work?
It's exciting.
How are you doing?
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Well, it's my first
week as chief of staff,
and all I've done is work
on this stupid budget.
They don't see the value in
serving the entire community,
but Lahela does, and she
got suspended for that.
The board has got this all wrong.
I know you.
And I know you'll figure out
a way to make them see that.
Thanks.
Spot! Spot, spot, spot.
(CHUCKLES)
Get it Rip Tide, get.
Get it.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
Give her one of these three
times a day in her food.
She should be up and walking soon.
- Thank you, Dr. Kamealoha.
- Any time. But I didn't do it alone.
Thanks. And thanks from Pickles, too.
- (CHARLES CHUCKLES)
- NOELANI: Oh.
You're welcome, Pickles.
- NOELANI: I'm going to miss you.
- CHARLES: Mm.
- See, this is why I couldn't become a vet.
- (CHUCKLES)
She was a better patient than most.
She didn't wet the bed or
tell me how to do my job.
Give me a sec and
then I'll walk you out.
All right.
- (SIGHS DEEPLY)
- We're going to miss you, Lahela.
The suspension will be
over before we know it.
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.
Doogie, Rip Tide, Channel
6. A moment, please.
Uh Sure. (CONFUSED CHUCKLE)
Yeah!
This is Rip Tide, outside Oahu Medical,
here with 16-year-old
Dr. Lahela Kamealoha.
Doc, is it true that you were
just relieved of your duties?
(SOFT LAUGH)
Uh Yes, I have.
How did you know that?
A source told me you were suspended
for saving the life of this boy's dog.
LAHELA: That is true.
RIP TIDE: What's the dog's name, kid?
Pickles and Dr. Kamealoha
fixed her leg up real good.
Now, why did you bring her
here to a human hospital?
Um, because my family can't
afford to take her to the vet.
But she's okay now.
I just hope Lahela gets her job back.
Dr. Hannon, you're the
new chief of staff here.
What do you have to say about this?
While I don't condone
what Dr. Kamealoha did,
I do admire her bravery
and her commitment to every
member of this community.
You can teach someone medicine,
but you can't teach compassion.
And Lahela's got that in spades.
CLARA: That's what makes
Oahu Medical Special.
We're a hospital that cares.
And as chief of staff, I trust
that the board will agree.
This is Rip Tide reporting live.
Coming up, was that Tom
Cruise I saw at the supermarket
or just an attractive short man?
Okay. Leroy, we gotta roll.
Some turkey through a
bottle of bubble bath
in the seal tank at the aquarium.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
Wait.
Did you do this?
Someone had to put pressure
on the board to make them see
running a hospital shouldn't
be about just the numbers.
It's about people.
Money should never stop us
from being compassionate.
You helped remind me of that.
Thanks, Mom.
- Way to be the change.
- (LAUGHS)
Hi, Pickle.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, you're just so sweet.
(LAUGHS)
This little escapade of yours has
the phones ringing off the hook.
So we are prepared to
offer you a second chance.
- Thank you.
- But there are conditions.
Absolute compliance with the rules
and policies of this hospital.
No more talks to the
press, either of you.
Just sign this and we'll
put an end to this matter.
(GASPS)
No.
What do you mean, no?
Only if you are going
to meet my conditions.
Which would be?
- Five million dollars.
- What?
I think all this media
attention has gone to her head.
It's not for me.
I want this hospital to set up a
treatment fund for the uninsured.
So that we can take care
of those who really need it
and so that my mom can make this
the hospital she wants it to be.
What a wonderful idea.
But I'm afraid that that's impossible.
We're barely in the black as it is.
Where are you going?
Good Morning America and 2020 have
already called asking for interviews.
- So
- Now just a second.
I will not let this girl blackmail us.
I have another term for it.
Good PR.
And I already know
it's a brilliant idea.
A move like this would increase
our charitable donations.
I've gotten four calls
already this morning.
(TONGUE CLICKS)
All right.
We'll go along with your idea to
create a fund for the uninsured.
But remember, it's for
creatures who walk upright.
Yes, ma'am.
Welcome back, Dr. Kamealoha.
Thanks, Mom.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(WAVES CRASHING)
Thank you to everyone for coming
out for Uncle John's birthday.
No problem, Dad.
I'm not much of a public speaker,
so I wrote down some things to say.
But those notecards dissolved
in my pocket already.
So I'm just going to
speak from the heart.
It's really hard for
me to lose Uncle John.
And he was the one that taught me
(WAVES CRASHING)
Um, as I was saying,
Uncle John, he taught me everything.
(KAI LAUGHS)
- Kai.
- What?
Uncle John would have loved this.
Busting Dad's chops was
his favorite thing to do.
It's true.
He would have loved nothing more
than to see me knocked on my butt
when I'm trying to be poetic.
It makes me feel like
he's right here with us.
Like he'll always be here with us.
To Uncle John.
ALL: To Uncle John.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (ALL LAUGH)
- ("I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK PLAYS)
- Love of mine ♪
Someday you will die ♪
But I'll be close behind ♪
I'll follow you into the dark ♪
No blinding light ♪
Or tunnels to gates of white ♪
Just our hands clasped so tight ♪
Waiting for the hint of a spark ♪
If Heaven and Hell decide
that they both are satisfied ♪
Illuminate the no's
on their vacancy signs ♪
If there's no one beside
you when your soul embarks ♪
I'll follow you into the dark ♪
In Catholic school ♪
(SIGHS) What are you doing here?
You're not supposed to
be back till next week.
Kai said you guys are celebrating Uncle.
I wouldn't miss that for the world.
I'm sorry I didn't call you back.
I wanted to surprise you. And I
didn't trust myself not to spoil it.
I love you.
I love you too.
As she told me, "Son ♪
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
- Last one in's a rotten egg.
- Hey, hey, hey.
I used to think that
growing up was a destination,
a place that you finally reached.
But it's not.
On their vacancy signs ♪
If there's no one beside you ♪
Check out my new car.
When your soul embarks ♪
Then I'll follow
you into the dark ♪
It's a road that is amazing
and scary
and fun
and sad all at once.
You and me have seen
everything to see ♪
LAHELA: No matter how
much things change,
you stay true to yourself.
And stand up for what you believe in.
All worn down ♪
The time for sleep is now ♪
But it's nothing to cry about ♪
LAHELA: And have faith in
the people that you love.
We'll hold each other soon ♪
LAHELA: Because nothing lasts forever.
In the blackest of rooms ♪
And if heaven and hell decide
that they both are satisfied ♪
Illuminate the no's
on their vacancy signs ♪
- Good day, mates.
- Oh, Lahela,
I hope you don't mind. I
invited my buddy, Blake.
(LAHELA CHUCKLES)
This is your buddy, Blake?
Last one in's a rotten egg.
Come on.
What the
I'll follow you into the dark ♪
(WAVES CRASHING)
(WAVES CRASHING CONTINUES)
KIDS: Mom.
(MAN GRUNTS)