Ducktales (1987) s02e01 Episode Script

- Life is like a hurricane - Here in Duckburg - Racecars, lasers, airplanes - it's a duck-blur - Might solve a mystery - Or rewrite history - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - D-d-d-danger - Watch behind you - There's a stranger out to find you - What to do? Just grab on to some - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - Ooh-woo-ooh Not pony tails or cotton tails, no - DuckTales - - [Scrooge.]
Twelve million.
- [Flintheart.]
No, 20.
- All right, 13.
- Twenty.
- Seventeen's my final offer.
- I said 20.
All right, Flintheart, you old bandit, I'll pay your price.
I knew you would, McDuck.
It's agreed then, you'll buy the westernmost island of my chain for 20 million dollars.
All right, you money grubbing banshee.
Here's ten million, it's all I have on me.
If I'd known you were going to be so greedy, I'd a brought my good hat.
This contract states that you have 'till noon on Friday to pay me the other ten.
One second after noon, and you lose your down payment and the island.
[Laughing.]
I hope your adding machine blows up in your face.
[Flintheart continues laughing.]
When it comes to business, McDuck, you're all wet.
I don't get it, Uncle Scrooge.
Any of Glomgolds other islands is worth a fortune.
Webfoot Island is a world famous resort.
So how come you paid old sneakypants a fortune for this worthless pile of rocks? Yes, how come, dear uncle? Speak up for my spy camera.
[Laughing.]
Don't worry, Louie.
I've never made a bad business deal, and I don't intend to start now.
Follow me, boys, and I'll show you my wee secret.
I discovered this cave while checking out the island last week.
- Wow.
Look at this place.
- Oh, man.
This stuff will get us enough merit badges to sew a tent.
Gee, those must've been tough times.
No more dangerous than today, Dewey.
Glomgold and dinosaurs have about the same size brain.
That's going to cost you, McDuck.
But Uncle Scrooge, other than these neat prehistoric drawings, there's nothing here but more rocks.
The thing to remember boys, is that there are rocks, and then there's rocks! [Boys.]
Diamonds.
In this case, very large diamonds.
Whoa.
This is the biggest one I've ever seen.
Look again, laddybuck.
Thistles and thorns.
That side-winding cash cobra has done it to me again.
Wait a minute, the old fox bought the island furthest west.
Ah, if that's what he wants, that's what he's going to get.
Remember, Flinty, if you can't beat 'em, cheat 'em.
[Laughs.]
Hello? Beagle boys? We better hit the sack, lads.
We've got a big day tomorrow harvesting my bonny diamonds.
Ahh.
[Clicking.]
[Rock music plays.]
I thought bringing you across the ocean was going to get me away from that rock and roll stuff.
But Uncle Scrooge, it's a tape of the Screamin' Sty McFly Show! [Loud hysterical laughter.]
[Man.]
Screamin' Sty McFly here, reminding you to get rude, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, bop till you drop, fellow crazies.
[Laughing hysterically.]
[Squeaking.]
[Squeaking continues.]
Burger! I told you to get those shoes fixed.
But Big Time, I'm barefeeted, see? Then get your feet fixed.
[Squeaking continues.]
[Squeaking continues.]
Here you go, Mr.
Glomgold.
Lovely day for an explosion.
[Chuckles.]
This is your wakeup call, Scroogey.
What was that? I don't know.
Quick, lads, abandon tent.
Somebody's trying to rock us to sleep.
Run for the cave.
Oh, when I get my hands on whoever did this, I'll toast his tailfeathers.
Don't fuss so much, Scroogey.
After all, it's not your property anymore.
[All.]
The Beagle Boys! What are you talking about, Glomgold? I bought this island fair and square.
What you bought was the westernmost island, McDuck.
That island is now the furthest west.
This island and all the diamonds is mine.
[laughing.]
Yeah.
So make like a bakery truck, and haul buns.
I'll be back, Glomgold.
I hope so, you still owe me ten million dollars.
[laughs.]
[Scrooge.]
But Gyro, there must be some way of putting that island back together.
Sorry, Mr.
McDuck, I can't reconnect your island without tilting the Earth.
Everybody's books would fall off their shelves, and we'd have a real mess.
Would you stop playing with that, whatever it is, and think of something.
It's a portable phone booth.
But I can't figure out where to put the coin slot.
I must be losing my touch.
Gyro, what's with these disappearing clocks? Well, I've discovered a new, rare element.
I call it bombastium.
At first, I thought it was a popsicle that glowed in the dark.
And it tastes great.
But, when I applied power to it, it disappeared.
[Sighing.]
If I could only go back and stop that explosion.
I didn't know where it went until I was flipping through this history book.
[Louie.]
It went back in time.
Went back in time? Can you invent a machine that can send me back in time to stop that explosion? Well, as a matter of fact I call her the Millennium Shortcut.
But Gyro, who do you expect to fly this thing, an octopus? You see, Mr.
McDuck, I only know one pilot, so I designed it for Ah! Gyro, don't tell me.
Yup, Launchpad McQuack.
I asked you not to tell me.
Neat freezer, where's all the sody pop? Launchpad, would you please pay attention.
Gyro's telling you how to operate this thing.
This is the bombastium fuel, but it will only work if it stays frozen.
Are you getting all this, Launchpad? Let me borrow your pen and write some of this stuff down.
No, don't! Youch! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Ow! That's no pen.
It's a hand laser for slicing cold butter.
But I think I put in too big a battery.
I'll just keep this thing out of the reach of children.
And I don't mean Huey, Dewey and Louie.
First, you plug in the bombastium, then you set your destination.
Duckbill Island.
- Now, what about the time? - It's about 10:30.
I mean, what time does Mr.
McDuck want to go to? Whoops, silly me.
Three days ago ought to do it.
There you go, three days.
Just pull that lever when you're ready, and off you go.
Good luck.
Well, Launchpad, think you can handle this? Piece of carrot cake, Mr.
McD.
[Machine whirring.]
Hey, congratulate me.
That was my first crash takeoff.
Your mother must be so proud.
- Hang on to your wallets.
- [Louie.]
Here we go! [Launchpad.]
Hey, get the number of that cement mixer.
- Are we here? - [Huey.]
Yep.
It's three days ago.
And there's Duckbill Island.
Yep, and there's trouble.
Don't just stand there, do something.
Relax, Mr.
McD, we've got all the time in the world.
- [Scrooge.]
Not the clock! - We have time.
[Animals screeching and howling.]
[Animal roaring.]
[Howls.]
[Groans.]
[Electrical buzzing.]
[Grunts quizzically.]
[Shouts, whimpers.]
[Speaks unknown language.]
[Launchpad.]
If you want, I should go out first, Mr.
McD.
[Scrooge.]
Not on your life.
Some idiot could mistake you for the brains of this outfit.
Oooga! Where did all these trees come from? I don't - Uncle Scrooge, are you all right? - Who's that? Bubba.
Oh, I don't know.
Some island aborigine named Bubba, trying to sell souvenirs.
Don't crowd me, son.
Stop that.
Where are we, anyway? This doesn't look like my island.
Well, according to Gyro's machine, this is it all right.
Will you please stop that? Launchpad, what time does the clock say? [Launchpad.]
The big hand's on the twelve.
And the little hand's on one million years B.
C.
That can't be right, can it? - [Screeching.]
- [Dewey.]
It can, it can.
What am I going to do? I go back in time to stop an explosion, and I miss it by a million years.
Scooge.
And I've been adopted by a kid who shampoos with swamp water.
According to our Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, That means Bubba pledges you his eternal devotion.
Oh, swell.
What's this? A Stone Age valentine? No, Uncle Scrooge, that's Bubba's marker.
It means everything he owns now belongs to you.
A marker? That's it! If I can find that diamond cave, and leave my marker, it won't matter if Glomgold blows this island into a thousand pieces.
That's brilliant, Mr.
McD.
Let's go find the cave.
Right, before you know who comes back.
- [Bubba.]
Scooge! - Too late.
[Launchpad.]
Wow, look at that egg, will ya.
Bet he left behind one giant chicken.
That does it.
Scooge, Bubba oopo.
Sorry, Scooge, sorry.
I'm down to my last resort, bribery.
If I give you this, would you please go home? - Home? - Yes, home, where you sleep.
[Imitates snoring.]
Home.
Oh, home! Scooge, home.
Stop! Unhand me, you peabrained prehistoric.
- Help! - Hang on, Mr.
McD, we're behind you.
Home, Scooge, home.
Give me back my quarter, you kidnapper.
Hey, look Uncle Scrooge, Bubba lives in your diamond mine.
What? Galloping gold prices, you're right.
Hey, sunny, how would you like my own personal autograph on your cave wall? Scooge.
Good.
Then let's start with this rock here.
Aw, waa waa.
- Aw, look, Bubba's got a pet.
- I hope she's had her shots.
Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Ow! She just smashed my tootsy.
Tootsie? Tootsie! Hey, Launchpad, you just named her.
Gee, look.
There aren't any diamonds here, only coal.
Don't be a dummy, Dewey.
It takes about a million years for coal to form into diamonds.
A pity too, I'd love to take back some kind of priceless souvenir.
You just got your wish, Uncle Scrooge.
Know what this is? Leftovers from a Texas barbecue? No, it's the bones of the Rogetthesaurus.
The Duckburg Museum is willing to pay anyone who can find a complete skeleton one million dollars.
One million? That, plus getting the cave back will really stew Glomgolds tomatoes.
Launchpad, get these bones loaded into the ship right away.
Aye-aye, Mr.
McD.
Now, it's time to leave something for Glomgold to remember me by.
I'll leave a slew of markers around this cave, that will prove for all time that this mine is mine.
Mine.
Would you boys please keep this nosy Neanderthal out of my hair for a bit? Aw, come on, Bubba, let's listen to some tunes.
Tunes? [Sty.]
Hey, let's keep it movin', let's keep it groovin' like i say.
- [Rock music plays.]
- Oh, tunes! [Hysterical laughter.]
There, that's the last marker.
Mr.
McD, big trouble.
The freezer's busted and this stuff is melting like ice cubes in Egypt.
That means we could be stuck here forever.
Quick, where are the boys? You sent them off with Bubba.
How are we going to find them? [Bubba howling.]
- Couldn't be too hard.
- I knew it.
That cave duck has led my lads into trouble.
Come on! Faster, Launchpad, faster.
We've got to find the boys.
[Rock music continues playing.]
[Sty.]
We're going up to the Lakeside at nine o'clock, and we are gonna rock! [Hysterical laughter.]
Sty McFly, here to remind you to get rude, dude.
Oh, yeah.
What is going on here? Get rude, dude.
Oi, ducks! [Chuckling.]
He's been listening to Screamin' Sty McFly.
I call that cruelty to animals.
Come on, lads.
We got to get out of here before the bombastium melts.
Oh, no.
Our time machine is gone.
One of those overgrown lizards must've run off with it.
It'll take hours to find it in this prehistoric pothouse.
Maybe Bubba could help.
Help? How? He couldn't drive nails into a snowdrift.
But Uncle Scrooge, this is his turf.
Yeah.
He could find a whisper in the wind.
We even made him an honorary Junior Woodchuck.
- Woodchuck.
- Oh, all right.
[All.]
Yay! Bubba, find time machine.
Oooga! [Sniffing.]
- [Howls.]
Stay tuned! - He found a trail.
Let's go.
[Howling.]
We haven't much time, so listen up.
Get as many bananas as you can find.
I hope that's enough.
[Moaning.]
I don't think I can eat another banana.
You didn't have to eat 'em, Launchpad, we just need the peels.
Now he tells me.
[Grunting.]
That's the last load.
Give the signal.
Let her fly, guy.
[Growling.]
[Babbling.]
[Roaring.]
- Don't forget to write.
- Come on.
Quick, let's get out of here before Jerkzilla comes back.
Wait, Uncle Scrooge.
We want to take Bubba and Tootsie with us.
- Are you crazy? Absolutely not.
- But they're our friends.
They don't belong in our time any more than we belong in theirs.
Now, say goodbye, and get in here.
Well, [sniffling.]
goodbye, Bubba.
Tunes? No, Bubba, we have to go home.
Scooge.
Home.
That's right, lad.
We're going home.
[clears throat.]
Well, so long.
Now get us up in the air, so we can get out of here.
Right on, Mr.
McD.
[Engine roaring.]
Go.
Bubba go.
Come on, Launchpad, hurry! Those dinosaur bones of yours must be too heavy, Mr.
McD.
We can't get high enough to get out.
Don't touch that dial.
- Those bones gotta go.
- No, they're worth a fortune.
They're worth zip if we can't get home.
[Sighing.]
You're right.
Dump them.
Bombs away! [Growling.]
Ah, that did it, shut the doors, and let's get out of here.
[Launchpad.]
You got it.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six - Bubba! - Ah! So you're the reason we couldn't take off.
Scooge.
You stowaways cost me a million bucks.
[Launchpad.]
Three, two, one, blast off! [Scrooge.]
Oh, no! Not again! [Narrator.]
On the next DuckTales, Scrooge's trip home takes a detour to danger.
The rabble rouser must be silenced! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Screaming.]