Family Law (2021) s02e01 Episode Script

1
Previously on Family Law
My name is Abigail and I'm, uh
a schm-alcoholic.
No other lawyer in
town would touch you
Not even your own firm.
Daniel and Lucy Svensson,
your brother and sister.
[POP FIZZING]
I don't want to have to explain
my 40-year-old boomerang kid
on the first date. Go!
- It'll be nice having you back home.
- [ABBY] " ish." Home-ish.
[DANIEL] Ever since you arrived,
I hate coming to the office.
Not at all thrilled to
be your co-counsel
But I guess it's a small
price to pay for partnership.
I did what you asked.
I made Daniel partner.
Gay people want civil unions Fine
But don't force the
rest of us to redefine
the legal definition of marriage
to suit your agenda!
This is the same woman that said
trans people were mentally
ill attention-seekers.
It was a great interview!
Except for the part where
you're dating Crystal Steele.
She was [MAKES SQUISHING SOUND]
- this morning.
- Ew.
That time you kissed Lucy,
did you know she was married?
- It's over.
- Yes, it is.
By the way I'm pregnant.
[NICO] Who's Felicity?
Frank.
And you must be Felicity.
Have a great night, you two.
[LUCY, SOBBING] She found out.
I didn't know where else to go.
[♪]
[♪]
[JOANNE] I'm so sorry.
I wanted to think better
of Frank, I really did.
But he's just like the rest of them,
ruled by his joystick.
It's utterly selfish!
The worst kind of betrayal.
If I ruled the world, I
would go Old Testament
I'd round up all the cheaters,
line 'em up against a wall,
and stone them to death!
[LUCY] Ahem.
Who are you, and why
are you in my pajamas?
Mom this is Lucy.
- Abby's sister.
- Half-sister.
Oh.
You're the one he had
with his secretary.
And might I ask why you
spent the night at my house?
I'm gonna let Lucy fill you in.
- [PHONE ALERT CHIMES]
-
Well? Come on.
[HARRY] I'm dating a
network TV personality.
Let me do a few shows first.
You're gonna knock it out of the park.
- Nobody does outrage better than you.
- Mm-hmm. [CHUCKLES]
Ah, this is the first time in my life
I don't have to do my own make-up.
Or lighting, or editing. I have a team!
Let's celebrate your debut
over dinner at CinCin.
Perfect. I'll come by your office.
Or we can just meet at my place.
You still don't want me
around your family, huh?
- It's complicated.
- Well, at some point,
we're going to have to
un-complicate it, because
I'm not going anywhere.
You made a wave crash over me ♪
- Don't try me again ♪
- [PHONE RINGING]
Svensson and Associates.
How may I direct your call?
Morning, Daniel. Craig. "Daniel Craig!"
"Svensson and Svensson,"
when you answer the phones.
Right! Of course. Congratulations again!
- Morning, Ms. Bianchi.
- Morning, Nina. Why is Craig ?
I adopted him.
He's mine.
Mm. Least you'll have one sentient being
who loves you just the way you are.
[CRAIG WHINES]
I'm gonna need you to write up
a publication of notice
for the class action, ASAP.
Jerri, schedule a partners' meeting?
Cecil, contact I.T.. We need to update
the corporate logo.
And, Nina,
I'm gonna need you
to remove your personal
items from your desk.
- Am I fired?
- Of course not.
But you are first point of
contact when clients arrive.
We need to project a professional image.
[♪]
- No, he's not gonna see the irony.
- [CRAIG YAPS]
Boardroom in 10. New
client. Don't be late.
He'll calm down once
he's marked his territory.
And I'm not talking about the dog.
My husband, Bert, died
a year and a half ago.
[DANIEL] Oh, we're sorry for your loss.
He left early one morning
and never came home.
The police found his
car by the Fraser River.
They found his Crocs washed up on shore.
His wallet was still in the car.
The only thing they didn't recover
- was Bert.
- Norma
I can't imagine what
you're going through.
- Do you need help with his estate?
- No.
Nothing like that.
No, I
I watch a lot of cat videos.
I know, I know "don't we all?"
A friend of mine sent me this one
yesterday.
- [ROBOT-VACUUM WHIRS]
- [MAN CACKLES ON VIDEO]
I'm afraid I don't understand.
That's Bert.
I'm sure of it.
My dead husband is very much alive.
["UH-OH" BY JEREMY FISHER BEGINS]
[♪]
You can't prove it ♪
Uh-oh ♪
You got nothing legit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
The glove don't fit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
You got to acquit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
The charges won't stick 'cause ♪
I ain't no sucker ♪
Ain't your lollipop ♪
But ♪
You can kiss my sweet ♪
Uh-huh ♪
Never gonna stop ♪
Never gonna stop ♪
Never gonna stop ♪
Never gonna stop ♪
[NORMA] That was Bert's laugh.
And you see the birthmark?
I thought it looked like an octopus.
- Bert thought it looked like a squid.
- Norma
our hearts go out to you, but
the chances that it's him
Okay. Just, um
Our 25th wedding anniversary.
You see?
Let's just say for a
minute that it is him.
If he's alive and well,
why wouldn't he contact you?
Well, uh [WORDS CATCH]
Okay.
Uh, Bert and I,
we had a good marriage.
I worked at an insurance
firm, Bert was self-employed.
An inventor
Always coming up with
the next great idea.
His specialty was the "all-in-one."
He invented this
[SCOFFS] walking stick.
I mean, it had everything
Barometer, thermometer,
compass, metal detector,
bear bell, shoe horn.
It could even pick up litter!
His ideas were terrific,
but never quite
right time/right place, you know?
Anyway, I'd saved up enough for us to do
the whole "Freedom 55" thing.
We were gonna buy a used VW van,
tour Canada from coast to coast,
but after he disappeared,
creditors started calling.
He'd drained all our savings
and left me with nothing
but a mountain of debt.
I [SIGHS] lost my job
because of the stress.
Lost the house
- [ALARM QUACKS QUIETLY]
- so, now
I live in a basement suite
and work as a greeter
at Bulk Bonanza. Sorry.
Time for my blood pressure pills.
Another of Bert's inventions
medication reminder.
You know there's an app for that
Norma, are you suggesting
Bert may have faked his own death?
I don't know what to think.
That's why I was hoping
you could help me find him.
[♪]
Seriously? Daniel, that was
the best you could do for her?
I gave her the names of
three private investigators.
There's a very real possibility
that her dirtbag husband
- faked his own death.
- Even if he did,
pseudocide isn't a
crime in and of itself.
Neither's being a "dirtbag husband."
Oh, hey, Frank.
[♪]
[PHONE RINGING]
[NINA] Svensson and Associates.
- [DOOR BANGS]
- [ABBY] How dare you come here?
What choice did I have? I
must've called you a hundred times.
- 48.
- I tried
to follow you last night,
but Nico called, you know,
he wanted to be picked
up from his sleepover.
Oh, did our son
ruin your secret
rendezvous with Felicity?
Abby, nothing was gonna
happen. She just wanted me
to look at her
PowerPoint presentation.
Oh, yeah? What was it called?
"How To Be a Homewrecker
In Five Easy Steps?"
You're angry. I don't blame you,
but we need to present a
united front for the kids.
You're moving back into the house.
You think that's still happening?
[VOICE BREAKING] I
can barely look at you
without wanting to
scratch out your eyeballs!
Abby, they're expecting it.
You cannot do this to our children.
I can't do this to our children?
Okay, okay, bad choice of words.
[LOUDLY] Bad choices all around, Frank!
[FRANK] How many times
do I have to tell you?
- It was just one drink.
- You know, just go. Seriously.
- [BARKS] Go!
- [COPIER WHIRS]
[SLAMS DOOR]
[CHEERY] Morning, Frank!
How are my grandkids?
- Good. Fine.
- Good!
[♪]
[LUCY] If you want,
I can go stand against the wall,
hand you a few stones.
Nah.
God forbid I broke the windows.
They'd be a fortune to replace.
I still don't know why I did it.
I'm not an psychologist,
but it seems pretty obvious to me.
"Like father, like daughter?"
I wouldn't give Harry that much power.
- [CHUCKLES]
- You lost your mother
at a tender age.
I'm sure it's hard to
fully commit to anyone,
in case you lose them, too.
That's pretty good.
So you say you've
ended it with, uh, "Asha"?
- Yes.
- Do you want Maggie back?
I forgave your father the
first time he cheated on me.
It was the fourth and
fifth times I struggled.
You're a good person, Lucy.
You're a good person
who did a bad thing.
[CECIL] He made me get
rid of my stuff, too.
He can have a real,
live dog in the office,
but I can't have my happy panda stapler?
Cecil?
Do you have a minute?
It was super-simple.
I just messaged him and
said I wanted to chat about
a "World's Funniest Cats" compilation.
- He got back to me right away.
- Where is he, do you know?
Stuttgart, Germany.
- Hmm.
- Goes by the name "Gunter".
Too bad you can't extradite
someone for assholery.
Maybe I can get Norma some closure.
- [VIDEO CALL RINGING]
- [CONNECTION CHIMES]
- Hello!
- Hi.
I'm excited you wanted to use my video!
As are we.
- Gunter, when did you shoot the video?
- Last month,
when I was on vacation in
your beautiful province.
It was part of my Michael Bublé tour.
Where did you take the video?
[♪]
[NORMA] It was shot on a pot farm?
[ABBY] 65 clicks from Vancouver.
If he's here, he's
hiding in plain sight.
[TEXT ALERT CHIMES]
[ABBY] Uh [STAMMERS]
Before we approach,
maybe we should come up
with a a game plan.
It's hard to know how he's gonna react.
Norma
- Norma!
- Bert!
Bert. Bert!
[NORMA LAUGHING]
You're alive!
- I can't believe you're alive!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa [LAUGHS]
You left me in so much trouble.
I'm sorry! I don't know
what you're talking about!
[WOMAN] Ezra?
- What's going on?
- Not a clue, Leanne.
I've never seen this
woman before in my life.
[♪]
What are you talking about,
Bert? I'm your wife!
'Kay, first off,
- my name's Ezra Warner.
- Cut the crap, Bert.
You faked your own death a year ago
and left your wife with a pile of debt.
This is crazy.
- You've got the wrong person.
- When did you two meet?
About a year ago?
[HALTINGLY] He answered my ad
- for a farmhand.
- Let me guess.
He asked to be paid in cash?
Has he ever shown you a piece of I.D.?
- Opened a bank account?
- You gotta believe me, Llama
- I-I don't know these people.
- "Llama"?
That's what you called me.
I had a funeral for you.
I mourned for you.
Get off our property. Now!
- Or I'm calling the police.
- Better call a lawyer too, pal,
because you owe my client
a shit-ton of money!
[♪]
Oh, no, no, no.
Please. Allow me.
[MOCKINGLY] "I'm a partner now,
and you deliberately
breached my authority."
I found Norma's dirtbag husband,
thereby bringing us a new
client, so, you're welcome.
Bert Choi's driver's
licence, courtesy of Norma.
Dig up whatever you can on him,
or on "Laughing Grass Farms,"
- or on his alias, "Ezra Warner".
- You got it.
I'm afraid there's
been a change of plans.
I won't be moving into
the basement suite.
We've jointly decided
that it's for the best.
- We just need a bit more time.
- [SOFIA] Do you think we're stupid?
This is just code for
"Mom screwed up again."
What fresh horror will we
find on YouTube this time?
[FRANK] Sofia. Enough.
Don't be so hard on your mother.
[SOFIA HUFFS]
[DOOR SLAMS]
[JOANNE] He threw you under the bus.
He just can't stand being
the villain in all this.
He made this mess He
needs to take ownership.
To be fair, it's a tricky situation.
I'm sorry, did I ask for your opinion?
I'm just saying it must
be upsetting for him, too.
[SLAM]
Do you infidels have some sort of club?
Is there a loyalty program, or
does that defeat the purpose?
Abigail.
[BLOWING AIR]
[METER BEEPS]
At least Frank didn't cheat
on me when I was pregnant.
[BLURTS] I didn't cheat on Maggie
[SOFTER] once she was pregnant.
How much longer will you be
imposing on our hospitality?
Abigail Jane Calliope!
Your sister had a
momentary lapse of judgment.
A moment ?
It went on for months!
You know what? I've lost my appetite.
[♪]
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
- Morning, everyone.
Good morning, Mr. Junior Svensson.
I see they spelled your name right.
[DANIEL, SNAPS] Are you
responsible for this?
[ATTORNEY] My client,
who, for sake of ease,
we will refer to as "Bert Choi"
Duh, because it's his name.
Has lost all memories of his past.
You're pleading amnesia?
Actually, the psychiatric
term is "dissociative fugue".
It's common for people
in the midst of a fugue
to disappear and start new lives.
I have a much simpler diagnosis for you.
It's called "lying, cheating "
Spin this any way you want, Mr. Krol.
It doesn't change the fact that
We are going to force your
client to pay his wife back
every last cent of the debt he incurred.
Forgive my junior colleague
for her shaky grasp on
the basics of family law.
We're gonna get him to pay
back half, as a family debt.
I am well aware of the basics,
but if this man had
a shred of decency
It's not about decency, Ally McBeal.
He could never pay back
what you allege he owes.
Allege ?
This isn't Pizzagate.
These are well-documented
debts in his name.
Understood.
But my client has nothing to give.
I'm sorry for any trouble
I may have caused
but I'm just a farmhand.
[MEDICATION REMINDER QUACKING]
[ATTORNEY] Oh, and Mr.
Choi would like to start
formal divorce proceedings.
We'll be sending over the
notice of claim this afternoon.
Norma, I would like to apologize
For the fact that you
got her exactly nothing?
For my colleague's utter
lack of professionalism.
Excuse me.
I liked it better when he was dead.
"Ezra Warner" invented the
first can opener in 1858.
Bert Choi has taken out
a lot of patents over the years.
"Laughing Grass" is a
small organic grow-op,
just a few years old,
owned by Leanne Porter.
And
the company recently
registered a patent
Something called
the "Port-a-Pothead."
Check this out.
[VIDEO BEGINS, WATER BUBBLING]
[BERT] It's an all-in-one
for pot smokers.
- [MAN COUGHING]
- There's a place to hold your weed
- and a place for rolling papers.
- [LEANNE] Even a built-in grinder.
And here's your pipe.
Ezra invented it.
[AD REPLAYING] It's an all-in-one
So the guy's come up with
another cheesy invention.
They've pre-sold 100,000 units
of that "cheesy invention"
to the two biggest cannabis
retail stores in the country.
Hello. Welcome to Bulk Bonanza.
Hello. Welcome to Bulk Bonanza.
Hello Oh. Hi.
Norma what if I told you
Bert's about to make a lot of money
off one of his inventions?
I'd say my last shreds of optimism
have vanished into the wind.
In a previous life, I was
a personal injury lawyer.
A really good one.
So here's what I want us to do.
We sue Bert's ass
for "intentional infliction
of emotional harm,"
and we make that lying mother fudger
pay back every last cent
he owes you, and then some.
- [STUNNED CHUCKLE]
- [CART RATTLES]
You gonna give me one of those?
[♪]
[FLYERS THUDDING]
Take 'em all, stretch-pants!
- [TREADMILL CHUGGING]
- No. No way.
It's a risk for the firm.
We get nothing unless we win.
Says the man whose middle
names are "Pro" and "Bono".
Even if you do win,
this is hardly on the
scale of the class action.
It'll barely cover our costs.
Just just give this
one to me, will you?
- I brought you that class action.
- Why is this so important to you?
Norma loved Bert.
She believed in him.
Supported him.
Trusted him! And-And
now he's faking amnesia
to pretend his life
with her never happened.
He needs to be held accountable.
Fine. But you answer to Daniel.
[MOUTHS WORD]
And we set up a meeting
with opposing counsel,
in case we can avoid
taking this to court.
Thank you for buying
a pair of longer shorts!
Don't thank me. Thank Crystal.
[♪]
- Does she seem ?
- More off than usual?
Yes.
The patent may be registered
under "Laughing Grass",
but it's clearly Bert's invention.
Here's one for "the
all-in-one make-up applicator".
Here's one for "the
all-in-one kitchen utensil".
Oh, it's definitely his, but you'll
never prove intentional harm.
The tort of intentional
infliction of harm
has four elements.
One, the defendant
must act intentionally,
two, the defendant's conduct
must be extreme and outrageous,
and three, the conduct
must be the cause of four
Severe emotional distress.
Bert's actions the day he
vanished check all the boxes.
Except you can't prove he was
trying to fake his own death.
Maybe Bert planned on returning
home to his wife that day.
Maybe he slipped on
the river bank and fell in.
- None of us knows for sure.
- Bert knows.
Ah, but he doesn't.
You're not seriously suggesting
you believe this
"dissociative fugue" B.S.?
I am, and I do.
And cases like this have to
meet a very high threshold, so
I'll see you in court.
[♪]
Yannick. Seriously?
Is this because I
didn't move to your firm?
Oh, ye of massive ego.
I had to take this, you know that.
Partnership.
It's my chance to take
the firm in new directions.
Dude, it's Harry Svensson.
You think he's gonna relinquish
even a modicum of control?
Sign says it all.
[♪]
We need to get a professional opinion.
Bolster our case.
Luce, would you do an assessment?
Results go to both parties.
Hell, yes.
We studied dissociative
fugues at Stanford.
I haven't had first-hand experience.
Well, you still won't,
'cause Bert is lying.
Apparently, they're often caused
by significant trauma or stress.
My uncle once got busted in a brothel
and he swore he didn't
remember how he got there.
There's a famous story from the '50s
Guy named Lawrence Bader
disappeared on a fishing trip.
He was declared dead,
then, eight years later,
he resurfaced in Nebraska,
but now he was "Fritz Johnson,"
and had no recollection
of his previous life.
Proving only that lying, douchebag
men are like cockroaches
Rampant throughout history.
A team of psychiatrists studied him.
They concluded that he
was telling the truth.
- Then they were duped.
- Maybe.
It's hard to distinguish
between a fugue and malingering.
- Faking it.
- This guy's definitely faking it.
[HARRY] Oh, good! You're all here.
I'd like to invite
you to a family dinner
- tomorrow night you too, Jerri.
- Why?
To celebrate Daniel's partnership.
- Do you think he also meant me?
- No.
[♪]
[CRUNCHING]
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you, Pam. Would
anyone else like to share?
- I think Abby should.
- Uh that's not how it works, Pam.
You've been comin' here for months
now and you haven't said a word.
You just sit there
lookin' down your nose
at the rest of us.
She has a point.
Fine.
Bullies.
Oh, where to start?
[WHISPERS] Where we always start.
By stating you're an alcoholic.
- And not a "schm-alcoholic".
- Okay.
My name is Abby and
I'm an alcoholic.
[COLLECTIVELY] Hi, Abby.
When I first started coming here,
I was in deep denial.
But I've been working hard
at getting better
because I want my family back
[VOICE CRACKS] more than anything. Ahem.
And I thought it was what
my husband wanted, too,
until I
caught him in a hotel elevator
with another woman.
He says nothing was gonna
happen, but, pfft, come on.
And since that happened, I
want a drink all the time.
I just keep thinking
[VOICE SHAKES] I did all this work
[SNIFFLES]
and for what?
[♪]
What's that?
The pictures we made to
decorate the basement.
I'm gonna give them to Mom
so that she can hang them at Jo-Jo's.
God, Nico! Don't you get it?
She screwed up everything.
- Again! She's a totally crap mother.
- [SHOUTS] Stop it!
You didn't see her face
when she saw those
texts on Dad's old phone.
[♪]
[JOANNE] Lucy's still asleep.
- Thank goodness for small mercies.
- [SCOFFS] Now, now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is this?
This is a list of the top
five divorce lawyers in town,
excluding your father.
I can help you set up short consults.
That way, Frank can't use any of them.
No one is talking about divorce.
That's irrelevant.
- It's strategic.
- It's also not happening.
Sweetheart. A leopard
seldom changes his spots.
You have to hope for the best
and prepare for the worst.
We're done here.
[FRUSTRATED SIGH]
Why don't you tell me the parts
of your life you do remember?
I had a great childhood.
I was an only child. Doted on.
I was always building stuff
Rocketships,
forts, go-karts.
I remember my parents
dying within a year of each other
when I was in my early 20s.
Sorry to hear that.
After that
it's like this great, big fog patch,
and I'm just walking through the fog,
till one day, I come out
the other side older, fatter,
working on a pot farm for Leanne.
Dissociative fugues are often
brought on by trauma or stress.
Can you recall anything
along those lines?
I get these awful headaches sometimes,
and the odd panic attack,
where I feel like I can't breathe.
Bert, do you have any recollections
of the day you disappeared?
None.
- [LUCY] I think he's telling the truth.
- Seriously?
I'm sorry. I know that's
not what you wanted to hear.
No!
But you said yourself,
it's impossible to know for sure.
Yes.
So, maybe you could, ahem,
emphasize that in your assessment?
You want me to lie in my report?
- I didn't use that word.
- You do realize
you just asked me to do
something that's brazenly unethical?
That's low, even for you.
Mm. Guess I figured it
wouldn't be a stretch.
Given your complete lack of
ethics in other areas of your life.
[♪]
[YELLO'S "OH, YEAH" PLAYS]
Oh yeah ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
The moon ♪
Beautiful ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
Hello, Harry.
Oh ♪
Long time, no see.
Doo ♪
Bow, bow ♪
Abby
Abigail. My office, please.
[GASPS] God!
Okay. Uh either I've
entered a parallel universe
or hell has actually frozen over.
- Joanne told me about Frank.
- I had no choice.
- You're living in a bubble of denial.
- [SCOFFS] Oh.
We are not getting divorced!
You need to act like
you're getting divorced.
- Forearmed is forearmed!
- It's That's not the expression.
Your mother's right. The longer
you're out of the family home,
the less likely it is you'll
get to keep it if you divorce.
And what's more important,
the longer Frank has custody,
the harder it's going to be
to get your parenting time changed.
Frank has been very successful
in making you out to be the bad guy,
but he is just as culpable.
He says he wasn't gonna sleep with her.
Of course, he was
going to sleep with her.
The pertinent question is, is
that a deal-breaker for you?
[ABBY] Know what?
You two are literally
the last people I would ever go to
for marriage advice.
And this whole thing is
giving me the creeps, so.
[♪]
Well, while I'm here, I should probably
fill you in on your other daughter.
Jerri.
Joanne.
I know it's a cliche, but you
really haven't changed a bit.
- You have.
- [CHUCKLES]
- And you look stunning!
- Oh.
I was sad Harry got you in the divorce.
Jerri, has Harry budged on
setting up a partner meeting?
- You must be Daniel.
- That's right.
- How's your mother doing?
- She's good.
Been working in Guatemala the last year.
- [LAUGHS] She always was a do-gooder.
- [JERRI CHUCKLES]
Sorry how do you know my mom?
We used to be best friends.
Until she slept with my husband.
[OUTRO PLAYS FROM YELLO'S "OH, YEAH"]
[LUCY] It is my opinion
that Mr. Choi is suffering
from a dissociative fugue.
And on what do you base this opinion?
I had an in-depth session with him.
He has no memory of the
day of his disappearance.
[MEDICATION REMINDER APP QUACKING]
Your Honor, in a case
like this, it must be shown
that the defendant desired
to produce the kind of harm
that the plaintiff has suffered,
or at least that he knew
that the harm would follow.
Now, if Mr. Choi has no
memory of the day in question,
we can never know what he was thinking.
[MUTTERS] Thank you
for making it so easy.
Counsel, do you have any
further questions for the witness?
- No, your Honor.
- Yes, your Honor.
- [POINTEDLY] Ms. Svensson.
- "Dr. Svensson."
Sorry, Dr. Svensson,
you've been practicing for how long?
- Two years?
- Three.
Are you a specialist in amnesia?
No, but I
Have you ever had a patient
with a dissociative fugue?
No. It's a rare diagnosis.
So, your "expertise" comes from ?
- We studied it at Stanford.
- Huh! So
everything you know about
fugues comes from a textbook?
Objection. Badgering the witness.
Ms. Bianchi, you need to put a
proper question to this witness.
Apologies, Your Honor.
How difficult is it, even for experts
And by your own admission,
you do not fall into that category
To discern between legitimate
amnesia and malingering?
It can be challenging, but it's very
So there's a good chance that
Bert Choi could be, in layman's terms,
"lying through his teeth,"
and that he remembers
faking his own death
Objection improper question.
Knowing he'd be leaving his wife behind,
grieving and destitute?
Sustained. Ms. Bianchi,
I know you know better.
No further questions.
[LUCY] You ambushed me.
You were a hostile witness.
I treated you as such.
You asked me to do the assessment.
I was just doing my job,
- and you made me look incompetent.
- Oh, wah, poor baby.
I was just doing my job.
- Daniel, say something.
- Lucy's right.
That was vicious.
But also very effective.
Ow!
See you guys at my celebration dinner!
[♪]
- [NORMA] You were good in there.
- Thanks.
Like Mike Tyson when he bit
off Evander Holyfield's ear.
It's just that
I can't help but wonder if
the doctor lady is right.
Maybe he really doesn't remember.
Bert and I took an acting
class for fun one summer.
Bert was so awful,
the teacher begged him to drop out.
When you've been married
to someone for that long,
when you've trusted
them for that long
You know what I want
even more than the money?
The truth.
Thank you, Darren.
Ah. Lucy-goosey.
Mm!
- I heard about you and Maggie.
- Did Abby tell you?
No. Joanne. Why didn't you come to me?
You could have stayed at my place.
Dad, you have a one-bedroom penthouse
- and that woman that you're dating
- Oh! Welcome.
Come in, come in, everyone.
Let's sit down. There are no
restrictions on the menu items
Daddy's paying, and that
doesn't happen all the time.
All right. Ah, isn't this
Isn't this nice
all five of us having dinner together?
- Didn't Jerri come with you?
- Jerri had to cancel.
- Then who's the fifth?
- Hello, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, fantastic!
- Well, cheers, everyone.
- Cheers. To Daniel.
[CLINK]
Well, Lucy, how's life treating you?
Fine.
I read that Tegan and
Sara are coming to town.
Will you and Maggie be going?
Because they're gay, and we're gay?
Of course not.
If you'll excuse me.
[CRYSTAL SIGHS]
[♪]
[EXHALES DEEPLY] Ahh.
Oh. Sorry.
Must be tough for you, being
around people who drink.
- Certain people, yes.
- Mm. Ah.
I'm so happy that I can hold my liquor.
If I couldn't drink my
bubbles, I'd kill myself.
[CRYSTAL LAUGHS ALONE]
- Y What?
- [CHAIR SCRAPES FLOOR]
So, Danny
- "Daniel."
- Daniel.
Ah, you know, I tried to tell your dad
that you were ready for partnership,
but do you think he'd listen to me?
[LAUGHS]
Good thing Abby tipped
the scales in your favour.
[♪]
Where'd everybody go?
- That woman is
- Vile.
- She is
- Loathesome?
- This whole dinner was a set-up.
- Yep.
Did Dad only make me partner
because you talked him into it?
I gave him a nudge.
That's all.
Listen, can I Can I
ask you both something?
When Norma's medication
alarm went off in court today,
did you notice that Bert had
an almost-Pavlovian response?
[DANIEL] No.
I was too busy staring at Lucy's
entrails, spilled all over the floor.
Sometimes, certain objects, or sounds,
can trigger memories in
a patient with amnesia
Or, in this case, one of his inventions.
- What are you thinking?
- I'm thinking
if he's really in a fugue state
Seriously?
Now you believe me?
Maybe there's a way we can get
Norma the money and the truth.
[♪]
Mr. Svensson, my
patience is wearing thin.
Apologies, Your Honor.
Elevators were slow this morning.
We'd like to call
Bert Choi to the stand.
[♪]
Mr. Choi, your defense is
that you can't have
intentionally inflicted harm
if you can't remember
the day you disappeared.
- Correct?
- Yes.
And yet, you were already
inflicting intentional harm
years before you
disappeared, were you not?
Objection. He doesn't remember.
It doesn't matter whether
or not he remembers,
because we have proof.
I'd like to introduce into evidence
the Chois' financial statements.
Mr. Choi was intentionally
bleeding Norma's earnings dry
for years without her knowledge.
I refer you to item one in the file.
This is "the Bedtime Hug Pillow".
Remember this invention, Mr. Choi?
No. I told you, I
don't have any memories.
Norma, can you tell us how
much he took out of your savings
- to build this prototype?
- $4,000.
"The Infa-Shine."
Your infant cleans while he crawls.
- How much?
- $7,000.
- [ABBY] A full-body umbrella.
- Also seven.
[CLICK]
[REMINDER APP QUACKING]
- And here we have the
- [QUACKING CONTINUES]
all-in-one walking stick.
- [ALARM QUACKING PERSISTS]
- $30,000.
[STICK CLATTERS ON GROUND]
What is that noise, and
can we please turn it off?
- "The Medi-Mind".
- [THUD]
It's another of Bert's inventions.
He sunk 50 grand into those,
- but it did get him onto Dragon's Den.
- [BLURTS] Kevin O'Leary
told me I was an idiot.
[QUACKING CONTINUES]
[♪]
[BERT] I hid the worst
of our financial troubles
from Norma for years.
Intercepted the calls and letters
from the collection agencies.
I just kept thinking
my next invention would be "the one".
And then it came to me
Air-conditioned shoes.
Because who doesn't get overheated feet?
So
I took out a second mortgage,
I forged Norma's signature,
sunk a bunch of money into prototypes,
and the first time I tried on a pair,
I was sure I had a hit.
Till it started to rain
and the motor short-circuited.
I brought us to financial ruin.
So I decided to end it all.
I slipped into the
river to drown myself,
but I failed at that, too.
Can you ever forgive me?
Yes, Bert.
[BERT] I remember how
supportive you were.
I loved you. I
I love you.
But I thought I loved Leanne.
I I'm so confused.
It's okay, Bert.
I can end your confusion.
Because I would never take you back.
My mother used to tell me,
"a tiger can't change his stripes."
I'd always be wondering
if you were gonna break my trust again.
I deserve better, Bert.
I deserve better.
Mr. Choi, while I believe you
did have some form of amnesia,
that does not negate the fact
that what you did to this woman,
over years, is unconscionable.
She supported you through
all of your failed inventions,
and deserves to reap the
benefits of the "Port-a-Pothead".
I find in favour of the
plaintiff, Norma Choi.
Counsel, please book a half-day
so I can set the damages award.
[♪]
Please tell me we can
unpack this one over drinks.
Hey, if you're buying, I'm there.
Congratulations.
You'll be getting a nice payout.
Enough to buy a used
canary-yellow VW van.
[CHUCKLES]
- Thank you.
- Aw!
Oh, one more thing.
I'll use my phone from now on.
[THUD]
I'm gonna have a quick shower.
- Take-out for dinner? Your choice.
- 'Kay.
[MESSAGE BLOOPS]
[♪]
[SNAP]
[LINE RINGING]
- [FELICITY] Frank?
- Stay away from my dad!
- Stay away from my family!
- [THUD]
Oh, my God.
[EXHALES TENSELY, CLEARS THROAT]
Ahem.
[LINE RINGING]
- [VIDEO WINDOW OPENS]
- Hi.
Hi.
- How are you feeling?
- Emotionally? Like shit.
- Physically, fine.
- Maggie, what I did, it
it's not who I am.
Okay? I'm a better person than that.
Oh, Lucy. Do you really believe that?
When we first met, you
were dating someone else.
I told myself you could change.
Who was I kidding?
You are a deeply-damaged human being.
Incapable of honesty, fidelity love.
[QUIETLY] You're not
a good person, Lucy.
You're rotten to the core.
[♪]
[DEEP, SHAKY BREATH]
Nina?
Did you hear back from
the signage company?
Apparently, someone here told
the guy that the job was done?
- I thought I said no candy.
- You did.
And I overruled you.
- I deserve a partners' meeting.
- It's on the books for Tuesday.
Thanks.
- You dodged a bullet last night.
- Figured.
[♪]
- [TEARFULLY] Mom?
- [ABBY] Sofia.
I don't want to live with Dad anymore.
[♪]
[FRANK] Sofia you
scared the hell out of me.
The way you change your heart ♪
When you change your mind ♪
[FRANK] She took off.
Wasn't answering her
phone. Neither were you.
Tell me again you weren't
gonna sleep with her, Frank.
I can't do that.
Thank you.
Did I pull the trigger? ♪
Did I pull the trigger? ♪
[♪]
Did I bury the gun? ♪
[♪]
Fact that you'd
burn down paradise ♪
Within the blink of a random eye ♪
Makes me wonder what's left ♪
See, I cannot deny it ♪
Everything you do's
blind-sighting me ♪
Like someone pulled the trigger ♪
Should I pull the trigger? ♪
Bury the gun ♪