Famous in Love (2017) s02e01 Episode Script
The Players
1 Previously on "Famous In Love.
.
" We can go to Gold Brothers Studios and audition for the "Locked" movie.
You're seriously going to that cattle call? You got the part.
Oh, Paige, this is gonna change your life.
You know, the three of us would spend all of our time together.
We were inseparable.
Kevin wrote out your parts.
We no longer need your services.
'Which is why we're letting you go.
' My whole life, we've done it your way.
Not anymore.
You're fired! Let me show you how much I want us to work.
I can't.
I can't be with someone I don't trust.
I've stopped sleeping with Nina.
It's over.
How could you deny him a chance to know his dad? - 'It's him.
' - 'Alan Mills.
' He's my father.
You lied to me every day for 23 years.
Have you been drinking? - Rainer, are you off the wagon? - Rainer! (NINA) Barrett Harper's been taunting me.
He's going wide with the story about Alan being his father.
(BARRETT) What are you doing here? [GUNSHOT.]
You're into him.
I'm pretty sure he's into you too.
- I'm Rainer.
- Ah, yeah, I know.
I thought you can wear it on our first date.
That's me asking you out.
Paige, are you in fact dating Rainer Devon? Don't answer that.
I love you.
I always have.
(MALE #1) 'Are you with your roommate or your co-star?' [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
In my mind I've acquired a tangle I can't undo I've been thinking about nothin' else Lately Does it feel as if somebody's keepin' an eye on you? I love you.
Playing tricks on me Ah whoo-ho But who's the mystery girl? Mystery girl Baby, this is not how you want this to end.
I'm not your baby! You bitch! [GUNSHOTS.]
Was it just you and her? Did you go in the photo booth? You two finally look good together.
Was it lively enough For you? Is she likely to be there if I were to show up soon? And, cut! That was great.
Till tighter.
Are you sure you don't wanna go one more time? I can be a badder badass.
You were appropriately badass, Cass.
We're movin' on.
(MALE #2) 'We need you in the make-up chair, Cassie.
' Hey, guys, I need a 15, and get the, uh, POLA the ultra bounce too.
Thank you.
I have no idea what you said but you look all sexy when you speak director.
Do you mind if we take a quick selfie in costume? Of course.
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
I thought you wanted to keep it a secret about us comin' out, would, you know, make things complicated.
We're in a really good place, so I'm not worried about that anymore.
Nothing's gonna screw us up, Paige.
We're solid.
We're losing light! Let's move! [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[CELL PHONES BEEPING.]
Holy crap, Paige! What did you just post? A selfie with Jake.
Hey, congratulations, Paige, you're trending on Twitter.
I guess you're right, Cass.
I gotta post more.
Well, people aren't exactly shipping you and Jake.
- "Hashtag, Paige sucks.
" - What the.
.
- "Trending worldwide.
" - Oh, my God.
Why are people hating so much? Well, they just found out you didn't pick Rainer.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Hey, Rainer.
Well, hello.
Can you put some lotion on me? Ain't that a kick in the head? If you insist.
The room was completely black Will you rub it in 'cause I don't want it to streak.
Like the sailor said quote Ain't that a hole in the boat? Like this? You know it's a little soft.
Trust me.
There's nothing soft about me right now.
Good.
'Cause I like a long hard massage.
Rainer.
.
can I steal you away from your activity? What's up? You've got visitors.
It's time for you to pee in a cup.
Meet me in my office.
Is it just me or does he annoy the shit out of you too? Everything about this place annoys me, Rainman.
It's rehab.
This is beautiful.
Where do you think this is? Omaha! Who cares, Alan? So, he's agreed to see Alan again but he still refuses to meet with you.
- Unacceptable.
- I tried.
Look, I know my son.
He's just overstaying in here to punish me.
He knows we can't finish the movie without him.
Nina, Rainer knows he's ready to leave.
And we agree, he's on top of his sobriety but this choice is his to make.
So.
.
- Could you shut up? - Wow.
Just for a minute.
Please.
- So I can think.
- Just one min.
.
Yeah, thanks.
You think you can take out the guard? You're joking, right? Rainer needs to know that if we don't resume production on "Locked" by Monday that you'll have no choice but to pull the plug.
And poof.
Just like that the movie goes away.
For good.
I will talk to him.
Tell me quick Ain't love a kick In the head? So who.
.
Wait a minute, your friend's boss literally got hit by a bus.
- Are you serious? - Yeah, on Robertson.
She stepped out of her car in front of the IV.
Bus took the door off her Porsche and rolled over her foot.
(BOTH) Oh, my God.
So, is her foot, like, road kill or.
.
- Cass? - I didn't ask.
No, the point is, she can't go to Hawaii now and we can't borrow her house.
It's okay, we'll figure out another location to shoot tomorrow.
(JAKE) 'Oh, God.
Here she comes.
' [SIGHS.]
Cap for you, drip two shots of espresso and your usual latte, light milk, extra foam.
Thank you.
Oh, and I saw your vagina commercial on TV last night 'during "Jeopardy.
"' You watch "Jeopardy?" Like, with your grandma? - Are you judging me? - No, he-he's observing you.
He-he's, he does that.
He's a filmmaker.
They, that's what they do.
They observe.
Oh, uh, so, um, the usual? - Yes, please.
- Yes, please.
Thank you.
Hey, there's something about her that's a little off.
You think maybe she's an actress? - You think? - Mmm, maybe.
Paige, are you still getting hate? (JAKE) 'Paige you need to turn off your notifications.
' What? I'm a GIF? Paige, you're seriously in the middle of your first social media shitstorm.
It'll pass.
You just gotta post a puppy picture.
Hey, people love puppies.
I'll do it for you.
What if it doesn't pass? I mean, what-what if "Locked" bombs or we don't even finish the movie? I mean, it's been two months already.
What if Rainer's never gets out of rehab? And then I'm just that random girl that won that part in that big blockbuster that nobody will ever see? Paige, hey, you do have something to fall back on.
It's called "Stealing Georgia.
" I will piggyback on that.
Look, I feel like this is meant to be for all of us.
And, Jake, you're shooting the hell out of this movie.
It's true.
And you're right.
You guys are both right.
I think I've just had too much coffee.
To "Stealing Georgia.
" - "Stealing Georgia.
" - To "Stealing Georgia.
" Oh.
.
I think you're good on coffee.
You're a little jittery.
Here.
I'm hot off the tread You gotta move it on down it ain't mad at that I ain't mad at that I tried therapy with my second wife.
- How'd that go? - She still hates me.
But she forgave my third wife for breaking up our marriage.
If they all end badly, why do you keep getting married? It makes them happy.
Yeah.
And it's no big deal if they sign a prenup.
Thanks for the fatherly advice.
Right, ah, look, Rain I hate to talk about work.
So don't.
Well, you know what's at stake, right? The movie's run out of insurance.
Every day it's down, the studio has to eat the cost.
I can't hold out much longer.
If I have to pull the plug on "Locked" your mother's career is dead.
That's her problem.
She thought she was doing the right thing.
I'm where I need to be.
And that's never gonna be on the set of "Locked.
" Yoga later? Namaste.
Maybe I need to be in rehab.
Just another minute to it 'Cause this is our time Jordan, your Golden Globe speech had me feeling awful.
I mean, I just wanted to take you home that night.
Girl, didn't we all? (AUDIENCE) Yeah! I mean, hey, I'm available.
[CHEERING.]
(FEMALE #1) 'No, but seriously.
' I'm being serious.
Do we have a clip of that? Let's check it out.
I lost.
.
I lost both my parents when I was a kid.
So I didn't have anyone to look up to.
I dedicate this to all the boys and girls out there who are struggling.
If I can do it, you can too! Thank you! Thank you.
Look at me, I'm like getting emotional all over again.
- Trying to keep my lashes - Okay, well.
.
She's getting together.
'I hear that there's some' 'Oscar buzz rolling around.
' [AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
Hey, it's a long shot, but I'd be honored.
Wow.
Now, tell us about Rainer.
How's he doing? Well, you know, it's no secret he's in rehab.
You know, takin' some time to work on himself.
- Yeah.
- Uh, it's all good.
Now what about "Locked?" Because rumor has it with Rainer sill in treatment that they might shut down for good.
Well, you know, we all wanna go back to work.
But we also want Rainer to get healthy.
That's the most important.
(FEMALE #2) 'That's right.
' [APPLAUDING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
(MAN ON TV) 'The verdict is in for the sentencing of Eva Burns' 'after pleading guilty to the murder' 'of gossip guru Barrett Harper.
' 'Eva Burns has been sentenced to a 25-year prison term.
' 'At time of the shooting, Burns was the executive assistant' 'to Hollywood producer, Nina Devon.
' I had no idea that my assistant was so unstable.
Or that she had an obsession with the victim.
Brian, we did get your fingerprints, right? All ten.
You know I follow the cast on social media, right? Why are you reminding me of your job description? Paige posted a selfie with her new boyfriend.
I care because.
.
It's the guy who interrupted your press conference.
They're making an indie together.
- Get her in here.
Today.
- I already left word.
Then why are you still standing there? Why am I still standing here? [CELL PHONE RINGING.]
- 'Hello.
' - Got a proposition for you.
So proposition me.
That is your contract.
Did you even bother to read it before you signed? Page 43.
Read it.
Out loud.
"Under terms of this agreement client is exclusive to Gold Brothers Studios.
" Did I give you permission to shoot a crappy indie with your boyfriend? It's called "Stealing Georgia.
" And I think that if you read it, you'd If you don't cease and desist immediately I will have the movie shut down.
And also I'll make sure it never sees the light of day.
I've been out of work for two months a-and "Locked" isn't even shooting.
Why are you doing this? Because I own you.
And I'm very protective of my investments.
Is this about Rainer? I asked you to look after him.
And I've tried to do so.
What, by posting pictures of your bae on Instagram? By visiting Rainer in rehab.
- Well, you've seen him? - No.
But I've, I've tried.
He won't put me on the list.
Nina, I'm sorry that Jake interrupted the press conference and I really appreciate that you got us out of there before any reporters had a chance to put me on the spot.
Well, your apologies usually come with a but.
So, what is it? Nothing.
There's no buts.
And, by the way Jake and I only started dating after Rainer was in rehab.
And I went to Malibu to go explain that to him and he refused to see me.
Well, he shut me out before, but never for this long.
When Rain talks about you.
.
I mean, even when he's upset, he gets this look on his face.
He's really proud to be your son.
Well, thank you for that.
But don't think this changes anything.
I'm still pulling the plug on your movie.
We're done.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Every time all night So hit me with your heart eyes heart eyes You got me goin' (WOMAN ON RADIO) 'That was Tangey Turner's "Heart Eyes.
"' 'Taking us back to the time when she was on top.
' 'Can the one hit wonder country singer come back' 'from her latest album's epic fail?' [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
You're always talking about your lipstick lyin' [AUTOMATED MESSAGE.]
'It's Alexis.
' 'I'm busy being fabulous' 'so leave it at the beep.
' Call me.
I need some friend time.
I hope you get hit by a bus, you piece of crap! Jackass.
(IDA) 'Perfect!' - Let's do it one more time! - Wait.
If it was perfect, why are we doing it again? Because I'm the producer and I know what I'm doin'.
Check it.
This week's ratings are even higher than the premier.
- Seriously? - Mm-hm.
Alexilicious is a bonafide hit.
And you are the reigning queen of reality TV.
I gotta give you props, Ida.
When you first came to me with this, I thought you were offering me Tangey's seconds.
I was, but she passed and you had nowhere to go but up.
And that's exactly where I'm taking you.
Fallon, Kimmel, Ellen.
.
They all want you.
Thank you, Ida.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
Now, get back in there and insult your fake date like you mean it.
- Okay.
- Mm-hm.
Okay, listen, she's gonna smack you this time, okay? Try that.
This one's perfect.
It's not available either.
Let's face it, we're never gonna find the location by tomorrow.
Okay.
Um.
.
Uh, I.
.
We already ordered.
You think you're so special? - Well, you're not.
- Excuse me? You're average.
Just like everyone else in that pathetic little bubble you call your life.
You know what, you judge people like me because it's easier than facing the fact that your life is mediocre.
It's meaningless and you know it.
Well? You were totally believable.
You left your script behind and it's the best I've read all year.
I'd love to be part of it.
The movie's already cast.
- 'Vera, order up.
' - Alright! Well, maybe you'll remember me for the next one.
Okay.
That was scary.
She can make an emotional turn on a dime.
Oh, my God.
Back to our location issue.
- I figured it out.
- What? Paige needs to buy a house.
Unfortunately, Nina's right about this one.
You're exclusive to "Locked" until the film's completion.
But Rainer is still in rehab You don't wanna burn bridges this early in your career.
Actually, I pulled up Paige's contract and there are a few loopholes we could explore without her stepping on anyone's toes.
Hey, Joanie, could you make a coffee run? I'll take a double soy matcha latte.
U-uh, yeah.
Yeah.
.
Can I get you something? Uh, no.
Thank you.
So, if you'll just trust us on this one It's my turn to interrupt.
Um, is Joanie an agent or an assistant? She's an agent.
Uh.
.
We thought you'd appreciate having a woman on your team.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
You're all fired.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
You can show yourselves out.
I mean, why doesn't Bob get the coffee? Or Jim, or that weasel, Andy, who for some reason can't not stare at my boobs every time he talks to me? It's not that hard.
These are my boobs.
These are my eyes.
Boobs.
Eyes.
Uh.
.
Don't think that they're doing you any favors, Paige.
The agency's only looking out for Nina, Alan, and the man.
They could care less about you.
They're in bed with the studio.
They always have been.
- 'Jason.
' - Ugh, Jason.
Oh, my God! Jason, why is he even an agent? He just sits on his phone and plays Candy Crush all day.
And his assistant, my friend Angela does all the work for him.
I keep telling her she should bail, but.
.
You know, I don't wanna do this anymore.
I-I quit.
Good for you.
I think you made the right decision.
Thanks.
Yeah, thanks for listening.
- You were really helpful.
- You're welcome.
Uh.
.
Good luck with everything, Paige.
I believe in you.
Hey.
.
Why do you believe in me? 'Cause I can tell you want it as badly as I do.
I'm looking for a new agent.
I'm available.
Okay, so tell me about these loopholes you've been talking about.
Okay.
Look, the studio can only get behind one actor and we're pushing Matt Damon for the Oscar this year.
- Seriously, Damon? - Have you seen his performance? Yeah, Jordan put on 20 pounds of muscle.
Damon, he put on a fat suit and a bald cap.
- He shaved his head.
- Fat suit.
- Please.
- Alan, I'm your guy this year.
You give me the support and I will 24/7 earn that nomination.
What, you're always preaching that everybody likes a feel-good story? Have you heard Jordan's? - It's a happy ending.
- Ah, you would know.
- Alan! - Oh, w-wait, he knows about us? Look, you know what, don't sweat it.
Really, don't.
I've kept bigger secrets than an Autumn-Spring time affair.
Don't get me wrong.
.
Still physically, still summer.
Oh, thanks for the qualification.
Look, I really want this.
Jordan is the real deal, Alan.
He's a winner.
Okay, alright.
Let me, let me see what I can do.
Thank you.
Now, I gotta go kiss Tarantino's ass.
- You told him about us? - Don't worry about Alan.
I know where all his skeletons are buried.
Tangey knows, Alan knows.
You don't think Rainer's gonna find out? No.
I don't.
I've told that made-up story about my parents so many times, it almost feels real.
Then I remember, the only part that's not fiction is how Rainer's like a brother to me.
And I'm glad he has you.
I wanna tell Rainer the truth about us while he's in a safe place.
You listen to me.
Rainer is still not talking to me and if you dump this on him now, he will never forgive me.
And if he finds out about it from someone else, Nina he's gonna hate both of us.
Jordan! Take my breath away Won't you pull me down? Hold me till I lose my faith (MALE #3) 'Breathe again.
' 'Breathe.
Breathe deeply.
' 'Do Chaturanga.
' 'And Cobra.
' 'Hold.
' 'Push back into downward dog.
' 'Hold.
' 'Breathe.
' 'And back to Cobra.
' [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
(RAINER) Psst.
Hey! Does this do anything for you? [GRUNTING.]
- Impressive.
- No.
Making gains.
- Wow.
- Mm-hm.
The coast is clear.
What? You know we can't do this.
Do what? We're about to kiss, and you know that's not allowed here.
Oh.
You never break the rules.
It's not that I don't want to but I wanna do rehab right this time.
I get it.
Thank you.
But we're still playing cards later? I'll find you after I take a cold shower.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna take raincheck on that kiss.
I'm ready when you are.
You do know there is room service, right? Yeah, and I refuse to let you pay $20 for a bottle of water.
Wait, so you just hired her on the spot? - Just like Jerry Maguire.
- "Show me the money.
" Even though Joanie found an element of my exclusivity clause uh, she still thinks that we should shoot "Stealing Georgia" on the down-low 'cause why rattle Nina's cage? Oh, good, it's on TV again.
(PAIGE) 'Oh, my God.
Wait, hold on.
Let me turn up.
' (CASSANDRA) Vaginal dryness should not be embarrassing to talk about.
But it is.
That's why Vagihydrate is now available 'without a doctor's prescription.
' (MALE #4) 'Side effects include nausea' 'vomiting, bloating, stomach cramps' 'breast pain tenderness, and/or swelling' 'headache, weight changes, freckles' 'or darkening of facial skin' 'loss of scalp hair and vaginal discharge.
' (ALL) increases sex, nervousness, dizziness or tired feeling.
- Whoo! - Yeah.
- Yeah! - Ka-ching, Cass.
I've seen it, like, three times today.
Guy at the market called me "Itchy-vag girl.
" You're a celebrity now.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
Oh, it's Adam.
Hey, baby.
Are you sure about this idea for the shoot tomorrow? I just feel like it's, it's a little crazy.
Even for us.
It'll be a great story to tell at Sundance.
I love how you know this is gonna happen for us.
I love how you eat a whole Cup Of Noodles in two bites.
[CHUCKLING.]
- You want some? - Yeah.
- Mm, no.
- Oh, yeah, okay.
Is that what you want to play? Really? - That's how I wanna play.
- Yeah, give me some.
I'm real bad.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Ooh, come in, Kendall and Kylie.
I hope you're hungry.
.
This's my best friend, Tangey Turner.
Ooh, um, I thought this was a girls' night, for just us.
It is a girls' night.
But my life is an open book now.
I don't want to keep anything from my fans.
I want them to know the real me.
Which is why we are in "Alexilicious" family forever.
Alexis, you are amazing.
You're too perfect.
Let's do some touch-ups and then relight for her confessional.
Wait, was-was this rehearsed? Okay, I didn't sign up to be on this show.
I'm not signing a waiver.
It's not like, this was a set-up or anything we just ran long and we're not done yet.
Enjoy the fish, but I heard they're bones in it so my mama should try it first.
Alexis' miked, Tangey.
I heard that.
We can still hang out.
I just don't have enough footage for my next episode.
So, it needs to be on camera.
I am so happy for you, Lex.
I really am.
But I passed on "Tangeylicious" because I don't want my life playing out in front of the world.
Well, that was your mistake and my gain.
I don't want to be part of this.
Girl, you just need to stop trying to punish me with your career choices.
You need to grow up and start makin' some wise-ass decisions.
Believe it or not, mama, but you are not the motivator of my choices.
- Is that right? - Mm-hmm.
Okay, "Alexilicious" is sponsoring the new nightclub at the Bixby tomorrow.
Let's go, we could tear the place up together.
Ugh, to the Bixby, the hotel's already incestuous.
Really? Do tell.
Half Hollywood is staying there including your least favorite, Ginger.
Oh, did you see that corn-fed nobody posted a pic with her new bae, Jay.
- Jealous much? - Ooh, ooh.
That's some good stuff, save it for the cameras.
I know you're down, so come out with me tomorrow walk the red carpet, your fans will fawn all over you.
Pablo Money is performing.
Can we come back here after without all the.
.
- Yes, I promise.
- Okay, come here.
Yay! - Yes.
- Alright, bye.
Bye.
How'd you swing Pablo Money? She's got a great manager, like you used to have.
- Come on, bae.
- Okay.
Good luck.
- 'Hey, I'm James.
' - 'Hey.
' (PAIGE) 'You're on the show, "Million Dollar Listing.
"' So nice to meet you.
Check this out.
Oh, wow! It's a small house, so you can operate every light, appliance TV, music, all from your phone, watch this.
- Oh, that's so cool! - Isn't that cool? You can literally turn on the coffee maker whilst you're lounging in bed with Jake.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait, what? Uh, how do you know about Jake? - "Hashtag Paige sucks.
" - Awesome.
Just wait until you see the views and prepare to lose your breath for a bit.
Wow, I'm-I'm I'm excited now.
It's incredible.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
I thought we brought the 416.
Yo, Rainer, how do you feel? - Feeling stronger every day.
- You look good, man.
Maybe it's all that green they push on you in here.
Thanks, Grace.
It's no joke, Jay.
Every time you eat or drink, you're either feeding the disease or fighting it.
Alright, alright.
You bored of this place yet? Uh, it beats dealing with the liars outside this place.
Oh, you mean your mom? You know, this is the longest I've ever gone without talking to her.
I gotta be honest.
I've never felt more like me.
In here, I'm not her son, I'm not her client.
I'm just uh, Rainer.
I don't think she meant to hurt you.
- Are you here to defend her? - No.
Did she ask you to convince me to go back to "Locked?" - Dude, relax.
.
- You know what? We're done.
Come on, Rain.
Forget I even brought it up.
I'm sorry, man, I just.
.
You have to understand what she took from me.
I grew up without a dad.
I get it.
Okay? Of course you do.
This is insane.
There's something about being in the hills that just speaks to people.
You know, you're a part of the city, but at the same time you're a little removed from all the chaos.
Okay, so you're thirsty for Georgia's blood and the gun is the instrument of death, okay? [CHUCKLES.]
Alright.
And action.
Put it down.
'Pick up the photo.
' Little closer.
Closer.
We had it all, and then she rides up looking like a red hot mess and you take the bait.
Yeah, now put it down.
Pull the cover up.
'Slowly, slowly, and walk.
' I'm gonna kill that bitch! Crap.
Oh.
Welcome to the open house.
Uh.
.
That was weird.
Uh, let's go wider.
Now.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
(PAIGE) 'It's so peaceful.
Can we not rush back inside?' [PHONE BEEPS.]
Actually, let's look at the kitchen.
I hate that the paparazzi forced you out of your apartment.
But someone like you really needs to be in a gated home.
And I worked with a lot of celebrities and we always put their security first.
Well, that's why I'm at the Bixby.
Paige, with interest rates so low and a 20% down your mortgage payments here would be lower than a week's bill at your hotel.
- Seriously? - It's a gem of a house.
You said you watch my show, so you know I'm a straight-shooter it's priced to sell.
Okay, well, I can't wait to see the upstairs.
'Wait until you see the master bathroom.
' It's to die for.
- Is there a tub? - Wait until you see it.
Your assistant said you were in an important meeting.
So, you just barged in here anyway? Yeah, well, it is my studio.
Okay, okay, when are you gonna get off that thing? Never! It's the only thing I can control.
Nina, we need to talk.
I'm a multitasker.
[MACHINE WHIRRS.]
It's important.
[SIGHS.]
How much time do I have? I called a board meeting for tomorrow to let them know I'm going to pull the plug on "Locked.
" I'm gonna forgo my bonus, hopefully that will stop the bleeding from me.
So, I'm the one getting fired? I'm gonna fight for you.
But someone has to take the blame for this.
Well, I guess it'd rather be me than Rainer.
[SIGHS.]
I need to talk to you in there.
Okay.
What did I do? I thought we were gonna be.
.
Why'd you change your mind? My doctor said I'm ready to leave, so I checked out.
Technically, I'm not breaking any rules.
But I am.
- Do you care? - Nah.
Can I be your plus one? I could be your plus one I'll be everything if you'll let me in [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
(MALE #5) 'Paige, over here! Look this way.
' 'Hey, Paige! Can I get one with just you and Jake?' Paige, is it true you broke Rainer's heart? (FEMALE #3) 'Paige, over here.
Look this way.
' Okay, okay, uh, that's enough.
That's enough.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you.
Come on, come on.
(FEMALE #4) 'Paige, is it true you broke Rainer's heart?' [CLAMORING.]
I'm Cassandra Perkins with two S's.
You know, maybe you've seen my commercial? I don't actually use the product.
- 'Cassie?' - Okay.
Um, bye.
Alexis, you're looking beautiful.
Over here, please? (FEMALE #5) 'Alexis, can we get of you without Tangey?' - 'Tangey.
' - 'Over here.
' (MALE #6) 'Jordan, Tangey.
Over here!' - 'Jordan, over here!' - 'Over here.
' Wanna walk the carpet together? Stir the pot.
I don't think that's the kind of publicity I want.
Okay.
I could be your plus one Oh girl yeah This life Pablo The lights all Picasso If you know what I know Girl you hit the Lotto I live life with no job I'll sign the check with few cops I'll fly you out to Bahamas You get that ass from your mama Unlike different My barrel got a catch My missus got a mess Like a best friend's kiss oh I ain't perfect but I try Hey.
- Hey.
- Can I steal you for a minute? Yeah.
So, I was talking to the editor of "Us Weekly" I interned for her when I was at Columbia, she loved your story and the challenges of overnight stardom and she thinks that you would make the perfect cover for their special "Young Hollywood" issue.
Oh, my God.
Me on the cover of "Us.
" That's.
.
[GASPS.]
Wait, wait, what? How did you swing that? I promised her that when "Locked" comes out remember it was "Us" that gave you your first cover.
Plus, I showed her the comments on your Instafeed.
- "Hashtag Paige sucks?" - Yeah.
Right now you're famous for being famous.
And that's our angle on you, but when "Locked" comes out If "Locked" comes out.
.
You'll be famous for how good of an actress you are.
I hope so because that's all that matters to me, Joanie.
I would literally do this for free if I had to.
Okay.
I didn't know that.
Oh girl livin' right now's too.
.
I thought you were gonna call me to celebrate my "Maxim" cover.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you always this engaging? If you know what I know Girl you hit the body.
.
Excuse me.
Lex? Mom? I'm not putting on a fat suit.
No way.
But I had to.
.
Oh, yeah.
Come here close, come in tight.
I ain't perfect but I'll change for you Hey, cut the music, cut the music.
I know that's not Tangey Turner tryin' to leave a Pablo Money party, is it? (ALL) Whoo! You know I can't let that happen, love.
I mean, we need to sing a song together or something, right? - Yeah.
- What y'all think? [ALL CHEERING.]
(ALL) Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! [ALL CHEERING.]
So, what do you wanna sing? Go with the flow.
I'll follow your lead.
Alright.
"Playing With Fire.
" [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Mola I'm not like the others I like to play with fire I'm not like the others I like to play with fire It's the real life of Pablo Look South trend lead what I had to get it Fire in her eyes It's the real life of Pablo Called her up on stage to come sing along I'm just trying to see her drop down get her eagle long She like what love got to do with it That's why she did like Tina Turner when she movin' this It's the real life of Pablo Pablo gotta go Pablo gotta make money don't mess with my girl I turned expert for my shortie I'm not like the others I like to play with fire I'm not like the others I like to play with fire I'm not afraid of you you You you you I'm not afraid of you you Wanna get naked? Let's go.
I'm not afraid of you you You you you I'm not afraid of you you You you you It's the real life of Pablo [ALL CHEERING.]
Sometimes the, uh, stars just don't align.
Some feels like.
.
I don't know, it was always meant to get away.
What you shot.
.
every penny was on the screen.
You produced the hell out of the footage we have.
You should be proud of that.
I don't need a pep talk, Alan.
Hey, this is me trying to be nice.
And I don't need you to be nice to me.
I pray the current will take me The-e-e-re Down and down I'm spinning Round and round out of my mind I close my eyes I close my eyes Falling into the blue Give myself to you.
.
Ooh! [PANTING.]
Hey, you're amazing.
Did you see the master bathroom in that house? Fancy bathrooms are kind of a girl thing.
The views were killer though.
Production value was insane.
[SIGHS.]
I miss having a kitchen and a bathtub and a yard.
.
We didn't have a yard in Beachwood.
[CHUCKLES.]
Should we move in together? Isn't that kinda what we're doin' here? I mean, like, in that house.
.
- If we can afford it.
- You mean if you can afford it? I'm not old-fashioned about that kinda stuff, are you? If I had the dough, I wouldn't mind if you didn't.
So does that mean yes? Mm, even though you hog most of the bed I'll have known that your face is the last thing I'll see before I fall asleep.
That's so romantic.
I wanna be your safe place to land.
So, if you want the house.
.
I'm there with you.
Oh.
.
Ow! Drifting down below There's a place in my mind Give myself to you See ya.
[SIGHS.]
Thanks for pickin' me up.
You sure about this? You're gonna get stressful really fast when you go back to the movie.
I'm not going back to work.
I'm just gettin' the hell out of here.
Well, your place or mine? Into the blue Into the blue [LAUGHING.]
I don't, I don't even know what that is.
I don't know what that was.
- Oh, my God.
- It was so good.
Honestly, I thought for sure you're going home with Pablo tonight.
Um, yeah, that's what he thought too.
I don't think he hears the word "No" very often.
Oh, you seemed into him.
Mnm-mnm.
I'm not ready to start with anyone new.
Why? Is this about Jordan? I don't know, he's everything I ever wanted in a guy.
So why did you break up with him? Okay.
Alexis this stays between us.
I found out that he and Nina.
.
had an affair.
Oh, my God! Every time I see him.
.
I just, I can't shake the image of them together.
Nina and Jordan together? As in together-together? As in screwing.
Yeah.
(ALEXIS) Damn.
I mean, good on her, but, oh, my God! It started out last season in "Backsplash.
" Remember when Rainer went to rehab? Does he know? Do you think they'd still be friends if he did? Girl, that's a kaboom-ass bombshell.
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[THEME MUSIC.]
.
" We can go to Gold Brothers Studios and audition for the "Locked" movie.
You're seriously going to that cattle call? You got the part.
Oh, Paige, this is gonna change your life.
You know, the three of us would spend all of our time together.
We were inseparable.
Kevin wrote out your parts.
We no longer need your services.
'Which is why we're letting you go.
' My whole life, we've done it your way.
Not anymore.
You're fired! Let me show you how much I want us to work.
I can't.
I can't be with someone I don't trust.
I've stopped sleeping with Nina.
It's over.
How could you deny him a chance to know his dad? - 'It's him.
' - 'Alan Mills.
' He's my father.
You lied to me every day for 23 years.
Have you been drinking? - Rainer, are you off the wagon? - Rainer! (NINA) Barrett Harper's been taunting me.
He's going wide with the story about Alan being his father.
(BARRETT) What are you doing here? [GUNSHOT.]
You're into him.
I'm pretty sure he's into you too.
- I'm Rainer.
- Ah, yeah, I know.
I thought you can wear it on our first date.
That's me asking you out.
Paige, are you in fact dating Rainer Devon? Don't answer that.
I love you.
I always have.
(MALE #1) 'Are you with your roommate or your co-star?' [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
In my mind I've acquired a tangle I can't undo I've been thinking about nothin' else Lately Does it feel as if somebody's keepin' an eye on you? I love you.
Playing tricks on me Ah whoo-ho But who's the mystery girl? Mystery girl Baby, this is not how you want this to end.
I'm not your baby! You bitch! [GUNSHOTS.]
Was it just you and her? Did you go in the photo booth? You two finally look good together.
Was it lively enough For you? Is she likely to be there if I were to show up soon? And, cut! That was great.
Till tighter.
Are you sure you don't wanna go one more time? I can be a badder badass.
You were appropriately badass, Cass.
We're movin' on.
(MALE #2) 'We need you in the make-up chair, Cassie.
' Hey, guys, I need a 15, and get the, uh, POLA the ultra bounce too.
Thank you.
I have no idea what you said but you look all sexy when you speak director.
Do you mind if we take a quick selfie in costume? Of course.
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
I thought you wanted to keep it a secret about us comin' out, would, you know, make things complicated.
We're in a really good place, so I'm not worried about that anymore.
Nothing's gonna screw us up, Paige.
We're solid.
We're losing light! Let's move! [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[CELL PHONES BEEPING.]
Holy crap, Paige! What did you just post? A selfie with Jake.
Hey, congratulations, Paige, you're trending on Twitter.
I guess you're right, Cass.
I gotta post more.
Well, people aren't exactly shipping you and Jake.
- "Hashtag, Paige sucks.
" - What the.
.
- "Trending worldwide.
" - Oh, my God.
Why are people hating so much? Well, they just found out you didn't pick Rainer.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Hey, Rainer.
Well, hello.
Can you put some lotion on me? Ain't that a kick in the head? If you insist.
The room was completely black Will you rub it in 'cause I don't want it to streak.
Like the sailor said quote Ain't that a hole in the boat? Like this? You know it's a little soft.
Trust me.
There's nothing soft about me right now.
Good.
'Cause I like a long hard massage.
Rainer.
.
can I steal you away from your activity? What's up? You've got visitors.
It's time for you to pee in a cup.
Meet me in my office.
Is it just me or does he annoy the shit out of you too? Everything about this place annoys me, Rainman.
It's rehab.
This is beautiful.
Where do you think this is? Omaha! Who cares, Alan? So, he's agreed to see Alan again but he still refuses to meet with you.
- Unacceptable.
- I tried.
Look, I know my son.
He's just overstaying in here to punish me.
He knows we can't finish the movie without him.
Nina, Rainer knows he's ready to leave.
And we agree, he's on top of his sobriety but this choice is his to make.
So.
.
- Could you shut up? - Wow.
Just for a minute.
Please.
- So I can think.
- Just one min.
.
Yeah, thanks.
You think you can take out the guard? You're joking, right? Rainer needs to know that if we don't resume production on "Locked" by Monday that you'll have no choice but to pull the plug.
And poof.
Just like that the movie goes away.
For good.
I will talk to him.
Tell me quick Ain't love a kick In the head? So who.
.
Wait a minute, your friend's boss literally got hit by a bus.
- Are you serious? - Yeah, on Robertson.
She stepped out of her car in front of the IV.
Bus took the door off her Porsche and rolled over her foot.
(BOTH) Oh, my God.
So, is her foot, like, road kill or.
.
- Cass? - I didn't ask.
No, the point is, she can't go to Hawaii now and we can't borrow her house.
It's okay, we'll figure out another location to shoot tomorrow.
(JAKE) 'Oh, God.
Here she comes.
' [SIGHS.]
Cap for you, drip two shots of espresso and your usual latte, light milk, extra foam.
Thank you.
Oh, and I saw your vagina commercial on TV last night 'during "Jeopardy.
"' You watch "Jeopardy?" Like, with your grandma? - Are you judging me? - No, he-he's observing you.
He-he's, he does that.
He's a filmmaker.
They, that's what they do.
They observe.
Oh, uh, so, um, the usual? - Yes, please.
- Yes, please.
Thank you.
Hey, there's something about her that's a little off.
You think maybe she's an actress? - You think? - Mmm, maybe.
Paige, are you still getting hate? (JAKE) 'Paige you need to turn off your notifications.
' What? I'm a GIF? Paige, you're seriously in the middle of your first social media shitstorm.
It'll pass.
You just gotta post a puppy picture.
Hey, people love puppies.
I'll do it for you.
What if it doesn't pass? I mean, what-what if "Locked" bombs or we don't even finish the movie? I mean, it's been two months already.
What if Rainer's never gets out of rehab? And then I'm just that random girl that won that part in that big blockbuster that nobody will ever see? Paige, hey, you do have something to fall back on.
It's called "Stealing Georgia.
" I will piggyback on that.
Look, I feel like this is meant to be for all of us.
And, Jake, you're shooting the hell out of this movie.
It's true.
And you're right.
You guys are both right.
I think I've just had too much coffee.
To "Stealing Georgia.
" - "Stealing Georgia.
" - To "Stealing Georgia.
" Oh.
.
I think you're good on coffee.
You're a little jittery.
Here.
I'm hot off the tread You gotta move it on down it ain't mad at that I ain't mad at that I tried therapy with my second wife.
- How'd that go? - She still hates me.
But she forgave my third wife for breaking up our marriage.
If they all end badly, why do you keep getting married? It makes them happy.
Yeah.
And it's no big deal if they sign a prenup.
Thanks for the fatherly advice.
Right, ah, look, Rain I hate to talk about work.
So don't.
Well, you know what's at stake, right? The movie's run out of insurance.
Every day it's down, the studio has to eat the cost.
I can't hold out much longer.
If I have to pull the plug on "Locked" your mother's career is dead.
That's her problem.
She thought she was doing the right thing.
I'm where I need to be.
And that's never gonna be on the set of "Locked.
" Yoga later? Namaste.
Maybe I need to be in rehab.
Just another minute to it 'Cause this is our time Jordan, your Golden Globe speech had me feeling awful.
I mean, I just wanted to take you home that night.
Girl, didn't we all? (AUDIENCE) Yeah! I mean, hey, I'm available.
[CHEERING.]
(FEMALE #1) 'No, but seriously.
' I'm being serious.
Do we have a clip of that? Let's check it out.
I lost.
.
I lost both my parents when I was a kid.
So I didn't have anyone to look up to.
I dedicate this to all the boys and girls out there who are struggling.
If I can do it, you can too! Thank you! Thank you.
Look at me, I'm like getting emotional all over again.
- Trying to keep my lashes - Okay, well.
.
She's getting together.
'I hear that there's some' 'Oscar buzz rolling around.
' [AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
Hey, it's a long shot, but I'd be honored.
Wow.
Now, tell us about Rainer.
How's he doing? Well, you know, it's no secret he's in rehab.
You know, takin' some time to work on himself.
- Yeah.
- Uh, it's all good.
Now what about "Locked?" Because rumor has it with Rainer sill in treatment that they might shut down for good.
Well, you know, we all wanna go back to work.
But we also want Rainer to get healthy.
That's the most important.
(FEMALE #2) 'That's right.
' [APPLAUDING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
(MAN ON TV) 'The verdict is in for the sentencing of Eva Burns' 'after pleading guilty to the murder' 'of gossip guru Barrett Harper.
' 'Eva Burns has been sentenced to a 25-year prison term.
' 'At time of the shooting, Burns was the executive assistant' 'to Hollywood producer, Nina Devon.
' I had no idea that my assistant was so unstable.
Or that she had an obsession with the victim.
Brian, we did get your fingerprints, right? All ten.
You know I follow the cast on social media, right? Why are you reminding me of your job description? Paige posted a selfie with her new boyfriend.
I care because.
.
It's the guy who interrupted your press conference.
They're making an indie together.
- Get her in here.
Today.
- I already left word.
Then why are you still standing there? Why am I still standing here? [CELL PHONE RINGING.]
- 'Hello.
' - Got a proposition for you.
So proposition me.
That is your contract.
Did you even bother to read it before you signed? Page 43.
Read it.
Out loud.
"Under terms of this agreement client is exclusive to Gold Brothers Studios.
" Did I give you permission to shoot a crappy indie with your boyfriend? It's called "Stealing Georgia.
" And I think that if you read it, you'd If you don't cease and desist immediately I will have the movie shut down.
And also I'll make sure it never sees the light of day.
I've been out of work for two months a-and "Locked" isn't even shooting.
Why are you doing this? Because I own you.
And I'm very protective of my investments.
Is this about Rainer? I asked you to look after him.
And I've tried to do so.
What, by posting pictures of your bae on Instagram? By visiting Rainer in rehab.
- Well, you've seen him? - No.
But I've, I've tried.
He won't put me on the list.
Nina, I'm sorry that Jake interrupted the press conference and I really appreciate that you got us out of there before any reporters had a chance to put me on the spot.
Well, your apologies usually come with a but.
So, what is it? Nothing.
There's no buts.
And, by the way Jake and I only started dating after Rainer was in rehab.
And I went to Malibu to go explain that to him and he refused to see me.
Well, he shut me out before, but never for this long.
When Rain talks about you.
.
I mean, even when he's upset, he gets this look on his face.
He's really proud to be your son.
Well, thank you for that.
But don't think this changes anything.
I'm still pulling the plug on your movie.
We're done.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Every time all night So hit me with your heart eyes heart eyes You got me goin' (WOMAN ON RADIO) 'That was Tangey Turner's "Heart Eyes.
"' 'Taking us back to the time when she was on top.
' 'Can the one hit wonder country singer come back' 'from her latest album's epic fail?' [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
You're always talking about your lipstick lyin' [AUTOMATED MESSAGE.]
'It's Alexis.
' 'I'm busy being fabulous' 'so leave it at the beep.
' Call me.
I need some friend time.
I hope you get hit by a bus, you piece of crap! Jackass.
(IDA) 'Perfect!' - Let's do it one more time! - Wait.
If it was perfect, why are we doing it again? Because I'm the producer and I know what I'm doin'.
Check it.
This week's ratings are even higher than the premier.
- Seriously? - Mm-hm.
Alexilicious is a bonafide hit.
And you are the reigning queen of reality TV.
I gotta give you props, Ida.
When you first came to me with this, I thought you were offering me Tangey's seconds.
I was, but she passed and you had nowhere to go but up.
And that's exactly where I'm taking you.
Fallon, Kimmel, Ellen.
.
They all want you.
Thank you, Ida.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
Now, get back in there and insult your fake date like you mean it.
- Okay.
- Mm-hm.
Okay, listen, she's gonna smack you this time, okay? Try that.
This one's perfect.
It's not available either.
Let's face it, we're never gonna find the location by tomorrow.
Okay.
Um.
.
Uh, I.
.
We already ordered.
You think you're so special? - Well, you're not.
- Excuse me? You're average.
Just like everyone else in that pathetic little bubble you call your life.
You know what, you judge people like me because it's easier than facing the fact that your life is mediocre.
It's meaningless and you know it.
Well? You were totally believable.
You left your script behind and it's the best I've read all year.
I'd love to be part of it.
The movie's already cast.
- 'Vera, order up.
' - Alright! Well, maybe you'll remember me for the next one.
Okay.
That was scary.
She can make an emotional turn on a dime.
Oh, my God.
Back to our location issue.
- I figured it out.
- What? Paige needs to buy a house.
Unfortunately, Nina's right about this one.
You're exclusive to "Locked" until the film's completion.
But Rainer is still in rehab You don't wanna burn bridges this early in your career.
Actually, I pulled up Paige's contract and there are a few loopholes we could explore without her stepping on anyone's toes.
Hey, Joanie, could you make a coffee run? I'll take a double soy matcha latte.
U-uh, yeah.
Yeah.
.
Can I get you something? Uh, no.
Thank you.
So, if you'll just trust us on this one It's my turn to interrupt.
Um, is Joanie an agent or an assistant? She's an agent.
Uh.
.
We thought you'd appreciate having a woman on your team.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
You're all fired.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
You can show yourselves out.
I mean, why doesn't Bob get the coffee? Or Jim, or that weasel, Andy, who for some reason can't not stare at my boobs every time he talks to me? It's not that hard.
These are my boobs.
These are my eyes.
Boobs.
Eyes.
Uh.
.
Don't think that they're doing you any favors, Paige.
The agency's only looking out for Nina, Alan, and the man.
They could care less about you.
They're in bed with the studio.
They always have been.
- 'Jason.
' - Ugh, Jason.
Oh, my God! Jason, why is he even an agent? He just sits on his phone and plays Candy Crush all day.
And his assistant, my friend Angela does all the work for him.
I keep telling her she should bail, but.
.
You know, I don't wanna do this anymore.
I-I quit.
Good for you.
I think you made the right decision.
Thanks.
Yeah, thanks for listening.
- You were really helpful.
- You're welcome.
Uh.
.
Good luck with everything, Paige.
I believe in you.
Hey.
.
Why do you believe in me? 'Cause I can tell you want it as badly as I do.
I'm looking for a new agent.
I'm available.
Okay, so tell me about these loopholes you've been talking about.
Okay.
Look, the studio can only get behind one actor and we're pushing Matt Damon for the Oscar this year.
- Seriously, Damon? - Have you seen his performance? Yeah, Jordan put on 20 pounds of muscle.
Damon, he put on a fat suit and a bald cap.
- He shaved his head.
- Fat suit.
- Please.
- Alan, I'm your guy this year.
You give me the support and I will 24/7 earn that nomination.
What, you're always preaching that everybody likes a feel-good story? Have you heard Jordan's? - It's a happy ending.
- Ah, you would know.
- Alan! - Oh, w-wait, he knows about us? Look, you know what, don't sweat it.
Really, don't.
I've kept bigger secrets than an Autumn-Spring time affair.
Don't get me wrong.
.
Still physically, still summer.
Oh, thanks for the qualification.
Look, I really want this.
Jordan is the real deal, Alan.
He's a winner.
Okay, alright.
Let me, let me see what I can do.
Thank you.
Now, I gotta go kiss Tarantino's ass.
- You told him about us? - Don't worry about Alan.
I know where all his skeletons are buried.
Tangey knows, Alan knows.
You don't think Rainer's gonna find out? No.
I don't.
I've told that made-up story about my parents so many times, it almost feels real.
Then I remember, the only part that's not fiction is how Rainer's like a brother to me.
And I'm glad he has you.
I wanna tell Rainer the truth about us while he's in a safe place.
You listen to me.
Rainer is still not talking to me and if you dump this on him now, he will never forgive me.
And if he finds out about it from someone else, Nina he's gonna hate both of us.
Jordan! Take my breath away Won't you pull me down? Hold me till I lose my faith (MALE #3) 'Breathe again.
' 'Breathe.
Breathe deeply.
' 'Do Chaturanga.
' 'And Cobra.
' 'Hold.
' 'Push back into downward dog.
' 'Hold.
' 'Breathe.
' 'And back to Cobra.
' [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
(RAINER) Psst.
Hey! Does this do anything for you? [GRUNTING.]
- Impressive.
- No.
Making gains.
- Wow.
- Mm-hm.
The coast is clear.
What? You know we can't do this.
Do what? We're about to kiss, and you know that's not allowed here.
Oh.
You never break the rules.
It's not that I don't want to but I wanna do rehab right this time.
I get it.
Thank you.
But we're still playing cards later? I'll find you after I take a cold shower.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna take raincheck on that kiss.
I'm ready when you are.
You do know there is room service, right? Yeah, and I refuse to let you pay $20 for a bottle of water.
Wait, so you just hired her on the spot? - Just like Jerry Maguire.
- "Show me the money.
" Even though Joanie found an element of my exclusivity clause uh, she still thinks that we should shoot "Stealing Georgia" on the down-low 'cause why rattle Nina's cage? Oh, good, it's on TV again.
(PAIGE) 'Oh, my God.
Wait, hold on.
Let me turn up.
' (CASSANDRA) Vaginal dryness should not be embarrassing to talk about.
But it is.
That's why Vagihydrate is now available 'without a doctor's prescription.
' (MALE #4) 'Side effects include nausea' 'vomiting, bloating, stomach cramps' 'breast pain tenderness, and/or swelling' 'headache, weight changes, freckles' 'or darkening of facial skin' 'loss of scalp hair and vaginal discharge.
' (ALL) increases sex, nervousness, dizziness or tired feeling.
- Whoo! - Yeah.
- Yeah! - Ka-ching, Cass.
I've seen it, like, three times today.
Guy at the market called me "Itchy-vag girl.
" You're a celebrity now.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
Oh, it's Adam.
Hey, baby.
Are you sure about this idea for the shoot tomorrow? I just feel like it's, it's a little crazy.
Even for us.
It'll be a great story to tell at Sundance.
I love how you know this is gonna happen for us.
I love how you eat a whole Cup Of Noodles in two bites.
[CHUCKLING.]
- You want some? - Yeah.
- Mm, no.
- Oh, yeah, okay.
Is that what you want to play? Really? - That's how I wanna play.
- Yeah, give me some.
I'm real bad.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Ooh, come in, Kendall and Kylie.
I hope you're hungry.
.
This's my best friend, Tangey Turner.
Ooh, um, I thought this was a girls' night, for just us.
It is a girls' night.
But my life is an open book now.
I don't want to keep anything from my fans.
I want them to know the real me.
Which is why we are in "Alexilicious" family forever.
Alexis, you are amazing.
You're too perfect.
Let's do some touch-ups and then relight for her confessional.
Wait, was-was this rehearsed? Okay, I didn't sign up to be on this show.
I'm not signing a waiver.
It's not like, this was a set-up or anything we just ran long and we're not done yet.
Enjoy the fish, but I heard they're bones in it so my mama should try it first.
Alexis' miked, Tangey.
I heard that.
We can still hang out.
I just don't have enough footage for my next episode.
So, it needs to be on camera.
I am so happy for you, Lex.
I really am.
But I passed on "Tangeylicious" because I don't want my life playing out in front of the world.
Well, that was your mistake and my gain.
I don't want to be part of this.
Girl, you just need to stop trying to punish me with your career choices.
You need to grow up and start makin' some wise-ass decisions.
Believe it or not, mama, but you are not the motivator of my choices.
- Is that right? - Mm-hmm.
Okay, "Alexilicious" is sponsoring the new nightclub at the Bixby tomorrow.
Let's go, we could tear the place up together.
Ugh, to the Bixby, the hotel's already incestuous.
Really? Do tell.
Half Hollywood is staying there including your least favorite, Ginger.
Oh, did you see that corn-fed nobody posted a pic with her new bae, Jay.
- Jealous much? - Ooh, ooh.
That's some good stuff, save it for the cameras.
I know you're down, so come out with me tomorrow walk the red carpet, your fans will fawn all over you.
Pablo Money is performing.
Can we come back here after without all the.
.
- Yes, I promise.
- Okay, come here.
Yay! - Yes.
- Alright, bye.
Bye.
How'd you swing Pablo Money? She's got a great manager, like you used to have.
- Come on, bae.
- Okay.
Good luck.
- 'Hey, I'm James.
' - 'Hey.
' (PAIGE) 'You're on the show, "Million Dollar Listing.
"' So nice to meet you.
Check this out.
Oh, wow! It's a small house, so you can operate every light, appliance TV, music, all from your phone, watch this.
- Oh, that's so cool! - Isn't that cool? You can literally turn on the coffee maker whilst you're lounging in bed with Jake.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait, what? Uh, how do you know about Jake? - "Hashtag Paige sucks.
" - Awesome.
Just wait until you see the views and prepare to lose your breath for a bit.
Wow, I'm-I'm I'm excited now.
It's incredible.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
I thought we brought the 416.
Yo, Rainer, how do you feel? - Feeling stronger every day.
- You look good, man.
Maybe it's all that green they push on you in here.
Thanks, Grace.
It's no joke, Jay.
Every time you eat or drink, you're either feeding the disease or fighting it.
Alright, alright.
You bored of this place yet? Uh, it beats dealing with the liars outside this place.
Oh, you mean your mom? You know, this is the longest I've ever gone without talking to her.
I gotta be honest.
I've never felt more like me.
In here, I'm not her son, I'm not her client.
I'm just uh, Rainer.
I don't think she meant to hurt you.
- Are you here to defend her? - No.
Did she ask you to convince me to go back to "Locked?" - Dude, relax.
.
- You know what? We're done.
Come on, Rain.
Forget I even brought it up.
I'm sorry, man, I just.
.
You have to understand what she took from me.
I grew up without a dad.
I get it.
Okay? Of course you do.
This is insane.
There's something about being in the hills that just speaks to people.
You know, you're a part of the city, but at the same time you're a little removed from all the chaos.
Okay, so you're thirsty for Georgia's blood and the gun is the instrument of death, okay? [CHUCKLES.]
Alright.
And action.
Put it down.
'Pick up the photo.
' Little closer.
Closer.
We had it all, and then she rides up looking like a red hot mess and you take the bait.
Yeah, now put it down.
Pull the cover up.
'Slowly, slowly, and walk.
' I'm gonna kill that bitch! Crap.
Oh.
Welcome to the open house.
Uh.
.
That was weird.
Uh, let's go wider.
Now.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
(PAIGE) 'It's so peaceful.
Can we not rush back inside?' [PHONE BEEPS.]
Actually, let's look at the kitchen.
I hate that the paparazzi forced you out of your apartment.
But someone like you really needs to be in a gated home.
And I worked with a lot of celebrities and we always put their security first.
Well, that's why I'm at the Bixby.
Paige, with interest rates so low and a 20% down your mortgage payments here would be lower than a week's bill at your hotel.
- Seriously? - It's a gem of a house.
You said you watch my show, so you know I'm a straight-shooter it's priced to sell.
Okay, well, I can't wait to see the upstairs.
'Wait until you see the master bathroom.
' It's to die for.
- Is there a tub? - Wait until you see it.
Your assistant said you were in an important meeting.
So, you just barged in here anyway? Yeah, well, it is my studio.
Okay, okay, when are you gonna get off that thing? Never! It's the only thing I can control.
Nina, we need to talk.
I'm a multitasker.
[MACHINE WHIRRS.]
It's important.
[SIGHS.]
How much time do I have? I called a board meeting for tomorrow to let them know I'm going to pull the plug on "Locked.
" I'm gonna forgo my bonus, hopefully that will stop the bleeding from me.
So, I'm the one getting fired? I'm gonna fight for you.
But someone has to take the blame for this.
Well, I guess it'd rather be me than Rainer.
[SIGHS.]
I need to talk to you in there.
Okay.
What did I do? I thought we were gonna be.
.
Why'd you change your mind? My doctor said I'm ready to leave, so I checked out.
Technically, I'm not breaking any rules.
But I am.
- Do you care? - Nah.
Can I be your plus one? I could be your plus one I'll be everything if you'll let me in [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
(MALE #5) 'Paige, over here! Look this way.
' 'Hey, Paige! Can I get one with just you and Jake?' Paige, is it true you broke Rainer's heart? (FEMALE #3) 'Paige, over here.
Look this way.
' Okay, okay, uh, that's enough.
That's enough.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you.
Come on, come on.
(FEMALE #4) 'Paige, is it true you broke Rainer's heart?' [CLAMORING.]
I'm Cassandra Perkins with two S's.
You know, maybe you've seen my commercial? I don't actually use the product.
- 'Cassie?' - Okay.
Um, bye.
Alexis, you're looking beautiful.
Over here, please? (FEMALE #5) 'Alexis, can we get of you without Tangey?' - 'Tangey.
' - 'Over here.
' (MALE #6) 'Jordan, Tangey.
Over here!' - 'Jordan, over here!' - 'Over here.
' Wanna walk the carpet together? Stir the pot.
I don't think that's the kind of publicity I want.
Okay.
I could be your plus one Oh girl yeah This life Pablo The lights all Picasso If you know what I know Girl you hit the Lotto I live life with no job I'll sign the check with few cops I'll fly you out to Bahamas You get that ass from your mama Unlike different My barrel got a catch My missus got a mess Like a best friend's kiss oh I ain't perfect but I try Hey.
- Hey.
- Can I steal you for a minute? Yeah.
So, I was talking to the editor of "Us Weekly" I interned for her when I was at Columbia, she loved your story and the challenges of overnight stardom and she thinks that you would make the perfect cover for their special "Young Hollywood" issue.
Oh, my God.
Me on the cover of "Us.
" That's.
.
[GASPS.]
Wait, wait, what? How did you swing that? I promised her that when "Locked" comes out remember it was "Us" that gave you your first cover.
Plus, I showed her the comments on your Instafeed.
- "Hashtag Paige sucks?" - Yeah.
Right now you're famous for being famous.
And that's our angle on you, but when "Locked" comes out If "Locked" comes out.
.
You'll be famous for how good of an actress you are.
I hope so because that's all that matters to me, Joanie.
I would literally do this for free if I had to.
Okay.
I didn't know that.
Oh girl livin' right now's too.
.
I thought you were gonna call me to celebrate my "Maxim" cover.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you always this engaging? If you know what I know Girl you hit the body.
.
Excuse me.
Lex? Mom? I'm not putting on a fat suit.
No way.
But I had to.
.
Oh, yeah.
Come here close, come in tight.
I ain't perfect but I'll change for you Hey, cut the music, cut the music.
I know that's not Tangey Turner tryin' to leave a Pablo Money party, is it? (ALL) Whoo! You know I can't let that happen, love.
I mean, we need to sing a song together or something, right? - Yeah.
- What y'all think? [ALL CHEERING.]
(ALL) Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! Tangey! [ALL CHEERING.]
So, what do you wanna sing? Go with the flow.
I'll follow your lead.
Alright.
"Playing With Fire.
" [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC.]
Mola I'm not like the others I like to play with fire I'm not like the others I like to play with fire It's the real life of Pablo Look South trend lead what I had to get it Fire in her eyes It's the real life of Pablo Called her up on stage to come sing along I'm just trying to see her drop down get her eagle long She like what love got to do with it That's why she did like Tina Turner when she movin' this It's the real life of Pablo Pablo gotta go Pablo gotta make money don't mess with my girl I turned expert for my shortie I'm not like the others I like to play with fire I'm not like the others I like to play with fire I'm not afraid of you you You you you I'm not afraid of you you Wanna get naked? Let's go.
I'm not afraid of you you You you you I'm not afraid of you you You you you It's the real life of Pablo [ALL CHEERING.]
Sometimes the, uh, stars just don't align.
Some feels like.
.
I don't know, it was always meant to get away.
What you shot.
.
every penny was on the screen.
You produced the hell out of the footage we have.
You should be proud of that.
I don't need a pep talk, Alan.
Hey, this is me trying to be nice.
And I don't need you to be nice to me.
I pray the current will take me The-e-e-re Down and down I'm spinning Round and round out of my mind I close my eyes I close my eyes Falling into the blue Give myself to you.
.
Ooh! [PANTING.]
Hey, you're amazing.
Did you see the master bathroom in that house? Fancy bathrooms are kind of a girl thing.
The views were killer though.
Production value was insane.
[SIGHS.]
I miss having a kitchen and a bathtub and a yard.
.
We didn't have a yard in Beachwood.
[CHUCKLES.]
Should we move in together? Isn't that kinda what we're doin' here? I mean, like, in that house.
.
- If we can afford it.
- You mean if you can afford it? I'm not old-fashioned about that kinda stuff, are you? If I had the dough, I wouldn't mind if you didn't.
So does that mean yes? Mm, even though you hog most of the bed I'll have known that your face is the last thing I'll see before I fall asleep.
That's so romantic.
I wanna be your safe place to land.
So, if you want the house.
.
I'm there with you.
Oh.
.
Ow! Drifting down below There's a place in my mind Give myself to you See ya.
[SIGHS.]
Thanks for pickin' me up.
You sure about this? You're gonna get stressful really fast when you go back to the movie.
I'm not going back to work.
I'm just gettin' the hell out of here.
Well, your place or mine? Into the blue Into the blue [LAUGHING.]
I don't, I don't even know what that is.
I don't know what that was.
- Oh, my God.
- It was so good.
Honestly, I thought for sure you're going home with Pablo tonight.
Um, yeah, that's what he thought too.
I don't think he hears the word "No" very often.
Oh, you seemed into him.
Mnm-mnm.
I'm not ready to start with anyone new.
Why? Is this about Jordan? I don't know, he's everything I ever wanted in a guy.
So why did you break up with him? Okay.
Alexis this stays between us.
I found out that he and Nina.
.
had an affair.
Oh, my God! Every time I see him.
.
I just, I can't shake the image of them together.
Nina and Jordan together? As in together-together? As in screwing.
Yeah.
(ALEXIS) Damn.
I mean, good on her, but, oh, my God! It started out last season in "Backsplash.
" Remember when Rainer went to rehab? Does he know? Do you think they'd still be friends if he did? Girl, that's a kaboom-ass bombshell.
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
[THEME MUSIC.]