Felicity s02e01 Episode Script
Sophomoric
Previously on "Felicity" I'm leaving tonight.
Are you coming with me? It's not just us.
There are other people involved.
We have a chance to go on this trip together, and I really want to do it.
- Come with me.
- To Berlin? I'm a little ahead of myself.
I ordered you a ticket.
I didn't have to make a decision between Ben and Noel.
But I did.
So, where to? It was the very end of my freshman year and there I was sitting in the cab So, where to? It was like a moment of truth.
Sorry.
Shoot.
Um Felicity, I'm going crazy here.
What happened? This is Meghan.
Our floor meeting starts in 15 minutes.
As if I care two hoots.
What the hell did you do? I want to tell you the story, Javier but it's kind of a story.
OK, so fine.
Tell it fast right now.
I'm not kidding! I'm serious! Please just I can't deal with you, OK? OK, look.
I know I don't always say things that I mean exactly but this is serious.
Tell me who you went with, or I will kill you.
I'm going to this meeting but I will come back and tell you everything.
Now I'm all emotional.
I promise.
I will give you all the details later.
And I'm so glad you got your visa.
Can you believe that? My life is so good now.
I'll come back later.
Thanks for my schedule.
You better come back or you are fired! I'm not kidding! Ohh! It is so unfair.
Dear Sally, I'm sitting in my new room.
That squeak is my new bed.
God, is it weird being back.
I mean, for a million reasons but the first of which is my new roommate.
To be honnest, when I first got here all I was thinking was Ben and Noel How it is gonna be like seeing them again? How I was gonna deal with the consequenses of what I did last year? Things felt like kind of chaotic.
The only comfort is knowing that this year I'm an R.
A.
which meant that I was going to have a single room.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I'm looking for the resident advisor meeting.
Oh, God.
This was it.
You missed it.
Oh.
I missed my first R.
A.
meeting I'm Nancy.
I'm the fourth floor advisor.
I'm Felicity.
Hi.
My flight was delayed from San Francisco so could you give me the Cliffs Notes version? Over the summer, they discovered that Slater Hall had asbestos like more asbestos than oxygen so they have to double up on all the other dorms.
Doubles are triples, and singles are doubles.
Ugh! It's just a disaster.
I was supposed to have a single this year.
That's what everybody was saying at the meeting.
Nice work, missing the first R.
A.
Meeting.
We're roommates again? That was my reaction, too, except angrier and louder.
And between "we're" and "roommates," I added a word.
It's not gonna be so bad though Living with Meghan again.
Being co-R.
A.
s.
We have 46 advisees which is a pretty huge responsibility.
I'm a little nervous.
The dorm cafeteria is open from 6:30 A.
M.
To 8:00 P.
M but the one in Student Union is open until 10:00.
The food there sucks.
- Well, it's not the best, but it's not the worst.
- Yeah, it is.
Are there any other questions before we wrap up? Hi.
Does health services fill prescriptions? Yes.
What kind of prescription? What's wrong with you? Birth control.
Health services will fill that prescription just fine.
But I wouldn't take birth control advice from her.
- She's had sex once.
- Meghan.
Listen, just stay away from health services.
And the guy she had sex with she barely even knew.
I can't believe Last year, I needed a refill on Zomig for a migraine 'cause I was living with her and they gave me 20 Zyprexa, which is an antipsychotic.
Which might not have been an accident.
If you go check it out for yourself I'm sure it'll be fine.
That's everything.
Welcome to your freshman year and come talk to us with any questions at any time.
Have a great year.
- What the hell was that? - Thought the meeting went pretty well.
You announced my sexual history to a group of strangers.
Is one a history? I have news for you.
No one cares.
Excuse me.
I just wanted to state for the record that we all know how lame it is that you had to explain where the library is as if we were a gaggle of morons but despite the assignment, you run an exceptional meeting.
You should know that.
I'm Brian Burke.
Hi.
Is it true that you only had sex one time? That is none of your business.
I'm not the one who brought it up.
I'm just intrigued.
Are advisees allowed to get involved with their advisors? - No.
- It didn't stop her last year.
Damn it! This is not gonna work us living together again, being co-R.
A.
s.
I'm going to the housing office and transfer.
No! Then I'll have to transfer! Think of how your actions affect me for once.
Who are you? People call me Burkey.
Excuse me.
Is she always this moody? Freshman packet! $15! Down from 20! Excuse me, sir.
Care to buy a freshman packet? - No, thanks.
- You sure? - I'll take one.
- Hey! - Hi.
- How you doing? Oh, man.
You look great.
You do, too.
What are you selling? This is genius.
The freshman packet.
I've been wanting to do this for years.
It's amazing.
It's all the essentials preassembled.
Totally practical and convenient.
You got aspirin, maps, pepper spray, condoms.
I mean, not pepper spray condoms.
Energy bars, No-Doz, 15 bucks.
- How many have you sold? - I've only been out here a couple hours.
What's going on with you? Have you talked to Ben? No, no.
Not since May.
Yeah.
He's supposed to get in today but I haven't heard from him yet.
Anyway, I am so psyched to be back.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I'm just gonna have fun this year.
I have a new outlook, a single room.
Will make up last year was a real dark patch.
That's impossible.
That's the year you met me.
Will you come by and say hello? Unless it's gonna be awkward with Ben.
No.
That was a long time ago.
I'll definitely come by.
- I hope so.
- Yeah.
Five bucks.
No more.
- Five? - Yes.
Are you nuts? Freshman packet.
Five bucks.
Oh, my God! Are you Julie? - Hi.
I'm Stacy.
This is Penny.
- I'm Penny.
This is Stacy.
Hi.
Is this my room? - Julie, right? - Julie, isn't it? Yeah.
I'm supposed to have a single.
So I'm back in New York except it doesn't feel the same.
Maybe it's because I haven't really seen anyone yet like Elena or Julie.
Ben.
Or Noel Or maybe Meghan put a hex on me which wouldn't surprise me one bit.
I've been roomed with Meghan Rotundi another R.
A.
, and here's the problem.
I can't live with Meghan Rotundi.
We lived together last year, and it's real contentious.
It's not good for me or her or the advisees and I was just curious if I could be reassigned.
I just need another place to live.
Uh-huh.
Since you 're an R.
A, you can apply to switch with another R.
A but it's very unlikely you'll get a room change.
OK.
Thanks.
May I help you? No, thanks.
I was going to ask the same question.
One year ago today I was becoming friends with people.
Now Im becoming enemies.
It's good to see you.
You, too.
So.
Where to? Kennedy Airport, please.
International terminal.
OK.
Wait a minute.
You said you went with Ben.
I know, but when the driver asked "Where to?" That's what came out.
I was just sitting there in the car.
It felt right.
It felt safe which made me realize that if I went with Noel I know we would have a great time.
I knew what that trip would be.
But We're not going to the airport.
I knew the question would haunt me What would've happened had I gone with Ben? How could you not go with Noel? So cute with the pinky ring.
You ever seen his smile? It's so electric.
Javier, yes, I know.
Ah, but Ben with his new haircut you want like an incredible buffet of men.
The best thing was, it was a chance to get to know what Ben was really like.
It was - Sex? - No.
Good for you.
Do you want me to put these out? What? Are you telling him the story? - Yeah.
- I wish I'd been there.
Yeah, yeah.
That would've been interesting if you'd come with us.
A different kind of trip.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Why don't you put those out? - They're delicious.
- OK.
So what about Noel? And Julie, who hates you now, right? Neither of them returned my phone calls this summer.
I called Noel once in Berlin, and some girl answered.
Well, good for him.
I'm sure he didn't spend all summer pining over you.
Forget you.
You broke his heart.
- Javier.
- No, no! That's why you love me.
I'm sorry.
Brutal honesty.
Noel walked right by me yesterday.
Which I deserve.
I deserve whatever I get.
You know what? Once you finally talk to Noel, everything is going to be fine.
I've sold almost 30 packets since I ran into you.
I don't know what I was thinking $15? Five bucks it isn't threatening.
It's a good lesson.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong? I'm living with two cheerleaders.
They spent all morning doing herkies in their underwear.
I don't know what that means but cheerleaders in underwear sounds fantastic.
I'm supposed to have a single and I live in a locker room.
Well, if you need to you can stay at the loft for a while.
No.
I can't do that.
Why not? Because of Ben? What happened with you guys was a long time ago.
Seriously, stay as long as you want.
Look, you 're the greatest.
Thank you so much but I am going to tough it out.
- You sure? - Gimme a "Y"! Gimme an "E"! Gimme an "S"! Oh, boy.
All right.
If there's more underwear activity, give me a call.
All right.
So I hope things are going well for you a little less hectic than they are here.
Someone's at the door.
Come in.
It's Ben.
Say hi.
Hi.
Who is that? Sally? Still making those? So I will talk back soon.
Love, Felicity.
So, what did you say? - On the tape? - Yeah.
Nothing.
It's private.
Really? I asked her if she thought Noel or Julie would ever forgive us.
Yeah.
So are you sorry that you went with me? I'm sorry you spent the rest of the summer in Mexico.
I'm serious.
Think it was a mistake? I think I wish it weren't so complicated.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Julie moving in here? - So you wouldn't be comfortable? - No.
I don't care.
I'm not sure if she's gonna be comfortable considering the circumstances.
What circumstances? Just the fact, you know, that Felicity and I we might start dating.
What the hell is that expression? Well Felicity is not exactly the girl you date.
Shes not? No.
She's the girl you marry.
I swear to God.
I'm 8 years older than you.
When you were born, I was already in Little League.
- That's a lifetime of experience.
- What did you play? - First base.
- Were you any good? - Yeah.
Pretty good.
Listen, Ben, listen to me, OK? I like Felicity but you 're not ready for that.
She is this thoughtful, challenging, complicated girl who examines the world she sees And you 're you 're you 're this idiot.
It's not your fault.
You 're a young guy.
I'm telling you, man, you get caught up in this and it's drama and pain and you've blown the relationship for the rest of your life.
I'll tell you what.
You do what you want about Julie and I'll do what I want about Felicity.
All right? I like her.
I can't help it.
We idiots like Felicity, all right? I can't believe it.
I used to just hope I'd run into him and now here we are kissing in the back room and making plans.
Elena says she saw it coming.
Did I tell you this part? That when Noel got back from Berlin He found a two-bedroom sublet right above Epstein Bar.
He called Elena to ask if she knew anyone looking for an apartment.
She said.
"Yeah.
Me.
" Elena was the greatest.
She called me to make sure I didn't mind.
I told her I was jealous.
Getting your own apartment is so amazing.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's heavy.
This is amazing.
Well, I should go.
No way! I'm getting you a drink.
Look at this.
A real fridge.
No more of that two-foot square crap.
Thanks.
Nice, huh? Living room, kitchen Noel's room, my room, bathroom.
I can give a tour without even moving.
All right.
To your great new place.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
I know just being here is making you uncomfortable.
No.
It's fine.
Whatever.
Has he mentioned anything about me? No Which worries me.
Well, dish on Ben.
What's the latest? I don't Things are good.
They're good? Are they "good"? I mean, are they good.
How good? They're good.
They're not "good.
" So when are they gonna get "good"? Ha ha! I don't Hey.
I bought a new table.
Cool.
How's it going? Good.
Thanks.
I gotta go back to the store.
There's a chair I might want to get.
That's a great I like your place.
I'm glad.
Being an R.
A.
is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm pretty sure I've given horrible advice at least a dozen times already, so You'll get the hang of it.
If I can do it, anybody can.
No.
You were actually really good at it.
Thank you.
I called you in Berlin.
Someone answered.
Oh, yeah? Hmm.
Must have been Beth.
Beth? Was she in the program? No.
Berlin turned out to be wonderful.
It was the best three months of my life.
I was a little annoyed at first wondering what you were doing with Ben whether you were staying in motels or just camping out, you know? Wondering what positions you guys were in whether he was on top or you were on top.
Noel.
I'm just being honest.
I was wondering the same things about you and Ben that you were just thinking about me and Beth.
This is so horrible the way we're talking to each other right now.
You think so? I don't know.
It's kind of liberating, saying exactly what you feel.
Somehow, it makes me feel better telling you that I slept with Beth and that she was great.
So what is that.
Revenge? I don't think so.
I think it just feels good to settle the score make sure you know theres some parity.
It's not a competition.
Whatever it is, it's over.
I can honestly say without any sense of uncertainty that I never want to see you again.
I know we will.
We go to the same college.
I just don't want to.
But I'm glad you like the apartment.
What are you doing? Last year, we used your outgoing message.
This year, it's mine.
- What's the bug up your butt? - Just lay off, OK? What? Just tell me.
Come on.
Just lay off.
Look, if you 're still mad because I told everyone you only had sex once I'm not in the mood for your sarcastic remarks! Well, you 're right.
I thought about it, and that was really screwed up.
And like they said at Wicca Camp, everything you put out, you get back times three so see what I'm doing here? I'm trying to be a good roommate.
Well, that's really weird.
I know.
So come on.
Just tell me.
What's going on? When I chose Ben it's had a really horrible ripple effect on everything.
I knew that I would hurt Noel and Julie, but knowing that intellectually and having to live that I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
You 're just gonna pour your heart out and I'm gonna say something sarcastic.
I just know I will, so we should stop.
- OK.
- OK.
OK! We're the Hartford Dingoes and we're stepping and stuff.
We know we're number one.
We're gonna stay awhile.
We're the Hartford Dingoes and we always keep our cool.
We'll always conquer your team when they take us in a duel.
I say, hey, we got the power.
It's boiling hot.
We're gonna rock steady till we almost drop.
That was great.
Excuse me.
I'm moving out.
- Hey! - Hi.
The front door was open.
- Come on in.
- How was your summer? Hot as hell.
I just got the air conditioning fixed.
- You looking for Ben? - Yeah.
Is he here? - No.
Javier called.
He had to go to work.
Hey, what's going on? I'm moving in for a while.
What's going on with you? Nothing.
OK.
Shes moving in? She said she was moving in for a while.
Sean didn't mention that? No.
He asked me what I thought about it but he didn't say he was gonna do it.
What do you think about it? I don't care.
Well, of course you care.
I swear to God, I don't care.
I really don't.
Hello, lovebirds.
I need you at the register.
That's why I pay you.
All right.
I'll be there in one second.
OK.
Don't worry about Julie moving in.
It's fine.
It really doesn't matter.
Yeah.
I'm sure you 're right.
It's just a little weird.
Yes.
I know.
Listen.
I want to tell you something.
Yeah.
What? Guess what? Love is blind, but my customers are not.
Well, most of them.
So I need you to maybe earn your wage, please? - OK? - OK.
- Nice top.
I like that.
- Thanks.
We can't talk here.
Do you want to go out tonight? Are you free? - Sure.
OK.
I'll pick you up around 8:00.
- OK.
- All right.
- Benjamin! - All right.
He wants to tell me something.
Thats classic code.
Isn't it? He's about to break up with me.
Unless it's nothing.
Whatever.
I'm not gonna over think this.
I'm just gonna go out and have a good time.
God, this first week is exhausting.
The way it looks to me, you 're playing with fire.
I could not take those cheerleaders.
This has nothing to do with those cheerleaders.
You living with Ben is just gonna get ugly.
Trust me.
I'm living with Noel and I already see it happening.
- It's not the same thing.
- No, it's not, because Noel and Felicity broke up.
Felicity and Ben are just starting out.
There's not a chance that they're gonna last.
No, not with you living in the loft.
"The Blair Witch Project" goes on at 10:15.
- I'm not seeing that movie.
- It's scary! It's good.
The Film Forum has "Spinal Tap.
" - I've never seen that.
- You never saw "Spinal Tap"? Oh.
My God! - Hi.
- Hi.
- Well, this isn't awkward.
- No, no, no.
We're all adults.
We can handle this.
- I haven't seen you yet.
How you doing? - Hi.
You haven't seen me, either.
You don't say hi to me? - Hi, Noel.
- Hi, Ben.
- So what movie are we seeing? - Whatever starts in the next two minutes.
- We should probably go.
- No! You guys stay.
We're leaving.
- Unless you want to see the movie with us.
- Noel What? I'm allowed to invite Felicity and the guy that she chose over me to the movies.
You don't have to be such a dick about this.
This is exactly the amount of dick that I need to be.
Is this an example of the new Noel? - Shut up, OK? - You shut up! - Don't tell me to shut up.
- Be nice to Elena.
You talk to me again, I will kick your ass.
You 're gonna kick my ass? - How? Using a computer? - Noel, just relax! - This is me relaxed! - Get ever it.
Grow up.
- I'm sorry.
Is that what you want? - No.
You shouldn't be sorry.
You got everythin you want.
You should be trilled! All right, let's go.
Come on.
No! No! I'm not going anywhere.
Guys, let's go see "The Blair Witch Project.
" I told you I'm not going to see that movie.
What did you want to talk to me about? Probably how things are getting too serious.
Right, Ben? I can't take this.
You coming? No.
I'm not leaving just because of this.
Then you 're either stronger than I am or you 're a masochist.
- Will you come with me? - No.
All right.
Gets up and goes pretty well, doesn't he? - Noel, I need to borrow some money.
- Who knew that was coming? - What is that supposed to mean? - Nothing, Elena.
It doesn't mean anything.
This blows.
Is this what the rest of the year's gonna be like? Who is it? It's me.
Come in.
Hey.
Hey.
We never got to talk.
Yeah, I know.
I was just thinking that.
It's kind of driving me crazy.
Can I say something first? Sure.
You usually do.
If this is a breakup Not that we were ever even really dating but could you just do it fast? I mean, you know don't stammer and talk searchingly.
Just say it.
"This isn't gonna work out.
" That way, it's not water torture.
I wanted to make sure that you know that you really understand that Julie moving in doesn't mean anything.
I don't want you to be worried about that.
I wanted to say that I'm happy we're doing this.
I'm so happy we're doing this.
I wanted to say I missed you when I was in Mexico.
Just so you know, I didn't mean what I said last night.
What, calling me cheapo? No.
I didn't call you cheapo.
I just I felt I'd been spending a lot of money recently but I know that you have, too.
Damn right.
That table cost me 90 bucks.
I know, so I'm sorry.
OK? I know things are not easy for you right now between you and Felicity but we're living together and if things are gonna work out we've gotta trust each other.
That's kind of hard.
You 're really good friends.
I know that but if something's going on that you want to talk about I won't say anything if you don't want me to.
I had an affair with Dr.
McGrath.
What? I asked him out, and he said yes and we started sleeping together.
He even gave me a better grade even though I didn't ask.
But I I didn't turn it down, either.
You slept with that guy? "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" by Elena Tyler.
He called a few weeks ago, said it wasn't working and he hasn't called again.
Oh, my God.
You slept with that guy? No one knows but you.
No one but you.
- Now you have something on me.
- Yeah.
So from now on, I want you to be honest with me.
All right? OK.
That is the ugliest table I've ever seen.
Really? Oh, yeah.
Ugh! No! Look at it! 90 bucks? I meant what I said last night.
If you 're going to be mad at someone, be mad at me.
Are you giving me permission to be mad at you? Oh, boy.
Don't take it out on Felicity.
It's my fault, too.
I know whose fault it was.
After this summer and everything I've gone through I realized who I trust and give my heart to is my choice and last year, I just chose badly.
And I was mad at you last night but I'm not consumed by this.
My life is a lot more than you and Felicity.
Did you break it off with Felicity yet? Sean, can you lay off, please? I'm not paying rent to get attacked by everybody.
I was just thinking about it.
She came to New York because of you.
- Yes.
- Okay.
Think about what that means for her.
What if she's in love with you? In love? Sean, what's your problem? I'm just asking 'cause I don't want you to get broadsided by this emotional Mack truck.
Would you still date her if you knew that she loved you? - Yes.
I like her.
- No.
You 're not listening to my question, OK? This isn't about you, Ben.
This is about her.
Look me in the eyes and tell me "If I knew Felicity loved me, I wouldn't get freaked out.
" - No.
I won't do that.
- Then you gotta end it.
If I knew Felicity loved me, I wouldn't get freaked out.
Say it again.
If I knew Felicity loved me I wouldn't get freaked out.
You 're not ready for this.
You are the most annoying landlord.
End it.
Trust me.
I know what I'm talking about.
Before it kills you.
This like a melanoma.
Is there any way you can move out? How could you tell him he could have a ferret? The freak said he wanted one.
The freak? Why did you become an R.
A.
To begin with? Hi.
Hi.
You have to come help me with this.
No.
I'm going out.
You deal with it.
She told one of our advisees he could have a ferret.
Will you just help me? His guy's roommate's allergic.
It's gross.
- Do you mind just waiting a little bit? - No.
Sure.
- I have to deal with - Some ferrets.
- Yeah.
So, you and Ben, huh? Sort of.
You guys doing it yet? No.
When do you think you will do it? - Are you trying to be annoying? - Kind of.
He's cute, I guess.
Yeah, he is.
I can't believe it.
I used to just hope I'd run into him and now here we are kissing in the back room and making plans.
All I know is I want this feeling to last the rest of my life.
God.
Sally.
I don't know what this is but I think I mean maybe it's love.
Are you coming with me? It's not just us.
There are other people involved.
We have a chance to go on this trip together, and I really want to do it.
- Come with me.
- To Berlin? I'm a little ahead of myself.
I ordered you a ticket.
I didn't have to make a decision between Ben and Noel.
But I did.
So, where to? It was the very end of my freshman year and there I was sitting in the cab So, where to? It was like a moment of truth.
Sorry.
Shoot.
Um Felicity, I'm going crazy here.
What happened? This is Meghan.
Our floor meeting starts in 15 minutes.
As if I care two hoots.
What the hell did you do? I want to tell you the story, Javier but it's kind of a story.
OK, so fine.
Tell it fast right now.
I'm not kidding! I'm serious! Please just I can't deal with you, OK? OK, look.
I know I don't always say things that I mean exactly but this is serious.
Tell me who you went with, or I will kill you.
I'm going to this meeting but I will come back and tell you everything.
Now I'm all emotional.
I promise.
I will give you all the details later.
And I'm so glad you got your visa.
Can you believe that? My life is so good now.
I'll come back later.
Thanks for my schedule.
You better come back or you are fired! I'm not kidding! Ohh! It is so unfair.
Dear Sally, I'm sitting in my new room.
That squeak is my new bed.
God, is it weird being back.
I mean, for a million reasons but the first of which is my new roommate.
To be honnest, when I first got here all I was thinking was Ben and Noel How it is gonna be like seeing them again? How I was gonna deal with the consequenses of what I did last year? Things felt like kind of chaotic.
The only comfort is knowing that this year I'm an R.
A.
which meant that I was going to have a single room.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I'm looking for the resident advisor meeting.
Oh, God.
This was it.
You missed it.
Oh.
I missed my first R.
A.
meeting I'm Nancy.
I'm the fourth floor advisor.
I'm Felicity.
Hi.
My flight was delayed from San Francisco so could you give me the Cliffs Notes version? Over the summer, they discovered that Slater Hall had asbestos like more asbestos than oxygen so they have to double up on all the other dorms.
Doubles are triples, and singles are doubles.
Ugh! It's just a disaster.
I was supposed to have a single this year.
That's what everybody was saying at the meeting.
Nice work, missing the first R.
A.
Meeting.
We're roommates again? That was my reaction, too, except angrier and louder.
And between "we're" and "roommates," I added a word.
It's not gonna be so bad though Living with Meghan again.
Being co-R.
A.
s.
We have 46 advisees which is a pretty huge responsibility.
I'm a little nervous.
The dorm cafeteria is open from 6:30 A.
M.
To 8:00 P.
M but the one in Student Union is open until 10:00.
The food there sucks.
- Well, it's not the best, but it's not the worst.
- Yeah, it is.
Are there any other questions before we wrap up? Hi.
Does health services fill prescriptions? Yes.
What kind of prescription? What's wrong with you? Birth control.
Health services will fill that prescription just fine.
But I wouldn't take birth control advice from her.
- She's had sex once.
- Meghan.
Listen, just stay away from health services.
And the guy she had sex with she barely even knew.
I can't believe Last year, I needed a refill on Zomig for a migraine 'cause I was living with her and they gave me 20 Zyprexa, which is an antipsychotic.
Which might not have been an accident.
If you go check it out for yourself I'm sure it'll be fine.
That's everything.
Welcome to your freshman year and come talk to us with any questions at any time.
Have a great year.
- What the hell was that? - Thought the meeting went pretty well.
You announced my sexual history to a group of strangers.
Is one a history? I have news for you.
No one cares.
Excuse me.
I just wanted to state for the record that we all know how lame it is that you had to explain where the library is as if we were a gaggle of morons but despite the assignment, you run an exceptional meeting.
You should know that.
I'm Brian Burke.
Hi.
Is it true that you only had sex one time? That is none of your business.
I'm not the one who brought it up.
I'm just intrigued.
Are advisees allowed to get involved with their advisors? - No.
- It didn't stop her last year.
Damn it! This is not gonna work us living together again, being co-R.
A.
s.
I'm going to the housing office and transfer.
No! Then I'll have to transfer! Think of how your actions affect me for once.
Who are you? People call me Burkey.
Excuse me.
Is she always this moody? Freshman packet! $15! Down from 20! Excuse me, sir.
Care to buy a freshman packet? - No, thanks.
- You sure? - I'll take one.
- Hey! - Hi.
- How you doing? Oh, man.
You look great.
You do, too.
What are you selling? This is genius.
The freshman packet.
I've been wanting to do this for years.
It's amazing.
It's all the essentials preassembled.
Totally practical and convenient.
You got aspirin, maps, pepper spray, condoms.
I mean, not pepper spray condoms.
Energy bars, No-Doz, 15 bucks.
- How many have you sold? - I've only been out here a couple hours.
What's going on with you? Have you talked to Ben? No, no.
Not since May.
Yeah.
He's supposed to get in today but I haven't heard from him yet.
Anyway, I am so psyched to be back.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I'm just gonna have fun this year.
I have a new outlook, a single room.
Will make up last year was a real dark patch.
That's impossible.
That's the year you met me.
Will you come by and say hello? Unless it's gonna be awkward with Ben.
No.
That was a long time ago.
I'll definitely come by.
- I hope so.
- Yeah.
Five bucks.
No more.
- Five? - Yes.
Are you nuts? Freshman packet.
Five bucks.
Oh, my God! Are you Julie? - Hi.
I'm Stacy.
This is Penny.
- I'm Penny.
This is Stacy.
Hi.
Is this my room? - Julie, right? - Julie, isn't it? Yeah.
I'm supposed to have a single.
So I'm back in New York except it doesn't feel the same.
Maybe it's because I haven't really seen anyone yet like Elena or Julie.
Ben.
Or Noel Or maybe Meghan put a hex on me which wouldn't surprise me one bit.
I've been roomed with Meghan Rotundi another R.
A.
, and here's the problem.
I can't live with Meghan Rotundi.
We lived together last year, and it's real contentious.
It's not good for me or her or the advisees and I was just curious if I could be reassigned.
I just need another place to live.
Uh-huh.
Since you 're an R.
A, you can apply to switch with another R.
A but it's very unlikely you'll get a room change.
OK.
Thanks.
May I help you? No, thanks.
I was going to ask the same question.
One year ago today I was becoming friends with people.
Now Im becoming enemies.
It's good to see you.
You, too.
So.
Where to? Kennedy Airport, please.
International terminal.
OK.
Wait a minute.
You said you went with Ben.
I know, but when the driver asked "Where to?" That's what came out.
I was just sitting there in the car.
It felt right.
It felt safe which made me realize that if I went with Noel I know we would have a great time.
I knew what that trip would be.
But We're not going to the airport.
I knew the question would haunt me What would've happened had I gone with Ben? How could you not go with Noel? So cute with the pinky ring.
You ever seen his smile? It's so electric.
Javier, yes, I know.
Ah, but Ben with his new haircut you want like an incredible buffet of men.
The best thing was, it was a chance to get to know what Ben was really like.
It was - Sex? - No.
Good for you.
Do you want me to put these out? What? Are you telling him the story? - Yeah.
- I wish I'd been there.
Yeah, yeah.
That would've been interesting if you'd come with us.
A different kind of trip.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Why don't you put those out? - They're delicious.
- OK.
So what about Noel? And Julie, who hates you now, right? Neither of them returned my phone calls this summer.
I called Noel once in Berlin, and some girl answered.
Well, good for him.
I'm sure he didn't spend all summer pining over you.
Forget you.
You broke his heart.
- Javier.
- No, no! That's why you love me.
I'm sorry.
Brutal honesty.
Noel walked right by me yesterday.
Which I deserve.
I deserve whatever I get.
You know what? Once you finally talk to Noel, everything is going to be fine.
I've sold almost 30 packets since I ran into you.
I don't know what I was thinking $15? Five bucks it isn't threatening.
It's a good lesson.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong? I'm living with two cheerleaders.
They spent all morning doing herkies in their underwear.
I don't know what that means but cheerleaders in underwear sounds fantastic.
I'm supposed to have a single and I live in a locker room.
Well, if you need to you can stay at the loft for a while.
No.
I can't do that.
Why not? Because of Ben? What happened with you guys was a long time ago.
Seriously, stay as long as you want.
Look, you 're the greatest.
Thank you so much but I am going to tough it out.
- You sure? - Gimme a "Y"! Gimme an "E"! Gimme an "S"! Oh, boy.
All right.
If there's more underwear activity, give me a call.
All right.
So I hope things are going well for you a little less hectic than they are here.
Someone's at the door.
Come in.
It's Ben.
Say hi.
Hi.
Who is that? Sally? Still making those? So I will talk back soon.
Love, Felicity.
So, what did you say? - On the tape? - Yeah.
Nothing.
It's private.
Really? I asked her if she thought Noel or Julie would ever forgive us.
Yeah.
So are you sorry that you went with me? I'm sorry you spent the rest of the summer in Mexico.
I'm serious.
Think it was a mistake? I think I wish it weren't so complicated.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Julie moving in here? - So you wouldn't be comfortable? - No.
I don't care.
I'm not sure if she's gonna be comfortable considering the circumstances.
What circumstances? Just the fact, you know, that Felicity and I we might start dating.
What the hell is that expression? Well Felicity is not exactly the girl you date.
Shes not? No.
She's the girl you marry.
I swear to God.
I'm 8 years older than you.
When you were born, I was already in Little League.
- That's a lifetime of experience.
- What did you play? - First base.
- Were you any good? - Yeah.
Pretty good.
Listen, Ben, listen to me, OK? I like Felicity but you 're not ready for that.
She is this thoughtful, challenging, complicated girl who examines the world she sees And you 're you 're you 're this idiot.
It's not your fault.
You 're a young guy.
I'm telling you, man, you get caught up in this and it's drama and pain and you've blown the relationship for the rest of your life.
I'll tell you what.
You do what you want about Julie and I'll do what I want about Felicity.
All right? I like her.
I can't help it.
We idiots like Felicity, all right? I can't believe it.
I used to just hope I'd run into him and now here we are kissing in the back room and making plans.
Elena says she saw it coming.
Did I tell you this part? That when Noel got back from Berlin He found a two-bedroom sublet right above Epstein Bar.
He called Elena to ask if she knew anyone looking for an apartment.
She said.
"Yeah.
Me.
" Elena was the greatest.
She called me to make sure I didn't mind.
I told her I was jealous.
Getting your own apartment is so amazing.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's heavy.
This is amazing.
Well, I should go.
No way! I'm getting you a drink.
Look at this.
A real fridge.
No more of that two-foot square crap.
Thanks.
Nice, huh? Living room, kitchen Noel's room, my room, bathroom.
I can give a tour without even moving.
All right.
To your great new place.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
I know just being here is making you uncomfortable.
No.
It's fine.
Whatever.
Has he mentioned anything about me? No Which worries me.
Well, dish on Ben.
What's the latest? I don't Things are good.
They're good? Are they "good"? I mean, are they good.
How good? They're good.
They're not "good.
" So when are they gonna get "good"? Ha ha! I don't Hey.
I bought a new table.
Cool.
How's it going? Good.
Thanks.
I gotta go back to the store.
There's a chair I might want to get.
That's a great I like your place.
I'm glad.
Being an R.
A.
is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm pretty sure I've given horrible advice at least a dozen times already, so You'll get the hang of it.
If I can do it, anybody can.
No.
You were actually really good at it.
Thank you.
I called you in Berlin.
Someone answered.
Oh, yeah? Hmm.
Must have been Beth.
Beth? Was she in the program? No.
Berlin turned out to be wonderful.
It was the best three months of my life.
I was a little annoyed at first wondering what you were doing with Ben whether you were staying in motels or just camping out, you know? Wondering what positions you guys were in whether he was on top or you were on top.
Noel.
I'm just being honest.
I was wondering the same things about you and Ben that you were just thinking about me and Beth.
This is so horrible the way we're talking to each other right now.
You think so? I don't know.
It's kind of liberating, saying exactly what you feel.
Somehow, it makes me feel better telling you that I slept with Beth and that she was great.
So what is that.
Revenge? I don't think so.
I think it just feels good to settle the score make sure you know theres some parity.
It's not a competition.
Whatever it is, it's over.
I can honestly say without any sense of uncertainty that I never want to see you again.
I know we will.
We go to the same college.
I just don't want to.
But I'm glad you like the apartment.
What are you doing? Last year, we used your outgoing message.
This year, it's mine.
- What's the bug up your butt? - Just lay off, OK? What? Just tell me.
Come on.
Just lay off.
Look, if you 're still mad because I told everyone you only had sex once I'm not in the mood for your sarcastic remarks! Well, you 're right.
I thought about it, and that was really screwed up.
And like they said at Wicca Camp, everything you put out, you get back times three so see what I'm doing here? I'm trying to be a good roommate.
Well, that's really weird.
I know.
So come on.
Just tell me.
What's going on? When I chose Ben it's had a really horrible ripple effect on everything.
I knew that I would hurt Noel and Julie, but knowing that intellectually and having to live that I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
You 're just gonna pour your heart out and I'm gonna say something sarcastic.
I just know I will, so we should stop.
- OK.
- OK.
OK! We're the Hartford Dingoes and we're stepping and stuff.
We know we're number one.
We're gonna stay awhile.
We're the Hartford Dingoes and we always keep our cool.
We'll always conquer your team when they take us in a duel.
I say, hey, we got the power.
It's boiling hot.
We're gonna rock steady till we almost drop.
That was great.
Excuse me.
I'm moving out.
- Hey! - Hi.
The front door was open.
- Come on in.
- How was your summer? Hot as hell.
I just got the air conditioning fixed.
- You looking for Ben? - Yeah.
Is he here? - No.
Javier called.
He had to go to work.
Hey, what's going on? I'm moving in for a while.
What's going on with you? Nothing.
OK.
Shes moving in? She said she was moving in for a while.
Sean didn't mention that? No.
He asked me what I thought about it but he didn't say he was gonna do it.
What do you think about it? I don't care.
Well, of course you care.
I swear to God, I don't care.
I really don't.
Hello, lovebirds.
I need you at the register.
That's why I pay you.
All right.
I'll be there in one second.
OK.
Don't worry about Julie moving in.
It's fine.
It really doesn't matter.
Yeah.
I'm sure you 're right.
It's just a little weird.
Yes.
I know.
Listen.
I want to tell you something.
Yeah.
What? Guess what? Love is blind, but my customers are not.
Well, most of them.
So I need you to maybe earn your wage, please? - OK? - OK.
- Nice top.
I like that.
- Thanks.
We can't talk here.
Do you want to go out tonight? Are you free? - Sure.
OK.
I'll pick you up around 8:00.
- OK.
- All right.
- Benjamin! - All right.
He wants to tell me something.
Thats classic code.
Isn't it? He's about to break up with me.
Unless it's nothing.
Whatever.
I'm not gonna over think this.
I'm just gonna go out and have a good time.
God, this first week is exhausting.
The way it looks to me, you 're playing with fire.
I could not take those cheerleaders.
This has nothing to do with those cheerleaders.
You living with Ben is just gonna get ugly.
Trust me.
I'm living with Noel and I already see it happening.
- It's not the same thing.
- No, it's not, because Noel and Felicity broke up.
Felicity and Ben are just starting out.
There's not a chance that they're gonna last.
No, not with you living in the loft.
"The Blair Witch Project" goes on at 10:15.
- I'm not seeing that movie.
- It's scary! It's good.
The Film Forum has "Spinal Tap.
" - I've never seen that.
- You never saw "Spinal Tap"? Oh.
My God! - Hi.
- Hi.
- Well, this isn't awkward.
- No, no, no.
We're all adults.
We can handle this.
- I haven't seen you yet.
How you doing? - Hi.
You haven't seen me, either.
You don't say hi to me? - Hi, Noel.
- Hi, Ben.
- So what movie are we seeing? - Whatever starts in the next two minutes.
- We should probably go.
- No! You guys stay.
We're leaving.
- Unless you want to see the movie with us.
- Noel What? I'm allowed to invite Felicity and the guy that she chose over me to the movies.
You don't have to be such a dick about this.
This is exactly the amount of dick that I need to be.
Is this an example of the new Noel? - Shut up, OK? - You shut up! - Don't tell me to shut up.
- Be nice to Elena.
You talk to me again, I will kick your ass.
You 're gonna kick my ass? - How? Using a computer? - Noel, just relax! - This is me relaxed! - Get ever it.
Grow up.
- I'm sorry.
Is that what you want? - No.
You shouldn't be sorry.
You got everythin you want.
You should be trilled! All right, let's go.
Come on.
No! No! I'm not going anywhere.
Guys, let's go see "The Blair Witch Project.
" I told you I'm not going to see that movie.
What did you want to talk to me about? Probably how things are getting too serious.
Right, Ben? I can't take this.
You coming? No.
I'm not leaving just because of this.
Then you 're either stronger than I am or you 're a masochist.
- Will you come with me? - No.
All right.
Gets up and goes pretty well, doesn't he? - Noel, I need to borrow some money.
- Who knew that was coming? - What is that supposed to mean? - Nothing, Elena.
It doesn't mean anything.
This blows.
Is this what the rest of the year's gonna be like? Who is it? It's me.
Come in.
Hey.
Hey.
We never got to talk.
Yeah, I know.
I was just thinking that.
It's kind of driving me crazy.
Can I say something first? Sure.
You usually do.
If this is a breakup Not that we were ever even really dating but could you just do it fast? I mean, you know don't stammer and talk searchingly.
Just say it.
"This isn't gonna work out.
" That way, it's not water torture.
I wanted to make sure that you know that you really understand that Julie moving in doesn't mean anything.
I don't want you to be worried about that.
I wanted to say that I'm happy we're doing this.
I'm so happy we're doing this.
I wanted to say I missed you when I was in Mexico.
Just so you know, I didn't mean what I said last night.
What, calling me cheapo? No.
I didn't call you cheapo.
I just I felt I'd been spending a lot of money recently but I know that you have, too.
Damn right.
That table cost me 90 bucks.
I know, so I'm sorry.
OK? I know things are not easy for you right now between you and Felicity but we're living together and if things are gonna work out we've gotta trust each other.
That's kind of hard.
You 're really good friends.
I know that but if something's going on that you want to talk about I won't say anything if you don't want me to.
I had an affair with Dr.
McGrath.
What? I asked him out, and he said yes and we started sleeping together.
He even gave me a better grade even though I didn't ask.
But I I didn't turn it down, either.
You slept with that guy? "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" by Elena Tyler.
He called a few weeks ago, said it wasn't working and he hasn't called again.
Oh, my God.
You slept with that guy? No one knows but you.
No one but you.
- Now you have something on me.
- Yeah.
So from now on, I want you to be honest with me.
All right? OK.
That is the ugliest table I've ever seen.
Really? Oh, yeah.
Ugh! No! Look at it! 90 bucks? I meant what I said last night.
If you 're going to be mad at someone, be mad at me.
Are you giving me permission to be mad at you? Oh, boy.
Don't take it out on Felicity.
It's my fault, too.
I know whose fault it was.
After this summer and everything I've gone through I realized who I trust and give my heart to is my choice and last year, I just chose badly.
And I was mad at you last night but I'm not consumed by this.
My life is a lot more than you and Felicity.
Did you break it off with Felicity yet? Sean, can you lay off, please? I'm not paying rent to get attacked by everybody.
I was just thinking about it.
She came to New York because of you.
- Yes.
- Okay.
Think about what that means for her.
What if she's in love with you? In love? Sean, what's your problem? I'm just asking 'cause I don't want you to get broadsided by this emotional Mack truck.
Would you still date her if you knew that she loved you? - Yes.
I like her.
- No.
You 're not listening to my question, OK? This isn't about you, Ben.
This is about her.
Look me in the eyes and tell me "If I knew Felicity loved me, I wouldn't get freaked out.
" - No.
I won't do that.
- Then you gotta end it.
If I knew Felicity loved me, I wouldn't get freaked out.
Say it again.
If I knew Felicity loved me I wouldn't get freaked out.
You 're not ready for this.
You are the most annoying landlord.
End it.
Trust me.
I know what I'm talking about.
Before it kills you.
This like a melanoma.
Is there any way you can move out? How could you tell him he could have a ferret? The freak said he wanted one.
The freak? Why did you become an R.
A.
To begin with? Hi.
Hi.
You have to come help me with this.
No.
I'm going out.
You deal with it.
She told one of our advisees he could have a ferret.
Will you just help me? His guy's roommate's allergic.
It's gross.
- Do you mind just waiting a little bit? - No.
Sure.
- I have to deal with - Some ferrets.
- Yeah.
So, you and Ben, huh? Sort of.
You guys doing it yet? No.
When do you think you will do it? - Are you trying to be annoying? - Kind of.
He's cute, I guess.
Yeah, he is.
I can't believe it.
I used to just hope I'd run into him and now here we are kissing in the back room and making plans.
All I know is I want this feeling to last the rest of my life.
God.
Sally.
I don't know what this is but I think I mean maybe it's love.