Gary Unmarried (2008) s02e01 Episode Script

How was your blind date? I waited in the coffee shop for an hour.
She never showed.
Were you wearing that shirt? She was there.
I'm dropping off the kids.
Hi, Mitch.
Nice shirt.
You wanna rent scooters and drive around the island? That's a fun game.
Make fun of the trained killer.
We'll see how that one turns out.
Look, Gary, Tom took a career aptitude test today.
Now, when he tells you about it, just don't have a disappointed look on your face? Like the one I had in our wedding photos? More like the one I had on our wedding night.
Sheck it out, dad.
We took this test at school that tells you what you should do for a living.
Mine said I'd be perfectly suited for a career in the service industry, like waiter, a bartender, or guy who hands ice to the bartender.
Don't worry about this test, Tom.
I took this test in high school.
I don't even rember what I got on mine.
Construction and maintenance, with an emphasis on painting.
And you obviously got people skills.
Why But I think it's great.
I mean, how often do you get to know exactly what you're gonna do for the rest of your life? And if one of those jobs comes in a uniform, my decision-making days are over.
What happened to the kid that wanted to be a scientist or an archaeologist? I don't know.
The kids are bombarded with all this career stuff at this age.
I think it's just his way of, you know, handling the pressure.
But the important thing is is that we don't overreact to this, OK? So you go talk to him while I go home and cry.
Is this better? Tabascos of the world button-down.
I like it, Mitch.
I gotta go.
Bye.
Hey, guess what, dad.
My dance partner and I got chosen for the recital in my hip-hop class.
- Great.
- Hey, I love hip-hop.
When I was stationed in Afghanistan, a few of us tried to get a crew together.
We called ourselves jala-bad.
- Can uncle Mitch take me to practice? - It's fine with me.
- Let's do it.
- Wait.
You're not really going to wear that shirt.
- I'm not that popular as it is.
- Go.
-= 201 =- Hey, I think I'm leaning towards waiter.
Did you know they call this "marrying ketchups"? I now pronounce you heinz and hunt's.
You may kiss the fries.
That's really funny, Tom.
Don't let that test dictate what you're gonna do for the rest of your life.
You always had such big dreams.
What happened to the kid I knew that wanted to be a veterinarian or a rocket scientist? Or you wanted to be a biologi that's enough with the bottles now, please! Come on, Tommy.
You gotta snap out of this.
You could do so much more than what that test is telling you, Tom.
If there's something else you really are into, you should go for it.
- Pursue your dream.
- Was it your dream to become a painter? No.
Painting was a way to pay the Bills, but, you know, it wasn't my dream job.
So what did you wanna be? I always wanted to have my own a.
m.
Sports radio show.
I even had a name for it.
Check this out.
I'm Gary Brooks, and this is the score.
We got dodger Tom Callin' in.
He's mad as heck.
Maybe it's because he's a waiter.
That's really cool.
I never knew about that.
- So why did you give up on your dream? - Excuse me? No, sir.
I did not give up on that dream.
I'm out there every day hoofin' it, tryin' to make that dream happen, Tom.
Really? How? I watch sports on Tv all the time, right? That's valuable research.
So that's how you're trying to make it happen? - I do other stuff, too you know.
- Like what? Get off my back, Tom, all right?! It just so happens I was gonna call my friend Curtis down at the a.
m.
Radio station down in saugus, OK? What's up? Yeah, look, I was wondering if there was any, opportunities for me, you know, we talked about it once Down there at the At the radio station.
What? There is? You're kidding me, right? No you No you know this is Gary Brooks, right? Yeah.
I could do that.
That's great.
Good.
Great.
Thank you very much.
I'm supposed to go down to the station today and talk to his boss, Tommy! That's how you do it.
You get a dream, keep it in your heart and your head, and you make it happen for yourself.
This is unbelievable.
You know, to be honest, I thought you were full of crap.
So did i.
Uncle Mitch, I want you to meet my dance partner, Bradley.
Hey, Bradley.
'sup? Bradley is the best dancer in our whole class.
His dad teaches danceandmovement at Berkeley.
Well, that would explain it.
- I'm gonna go stretch out.
- All right.
So Louise says you're a marine.
She didn't tell you I was decorated? - That's weird.
- My dad doesn't like the marines.
Well, this is America, and your dad's entitled to his opinion.
- He's anti-war.
- Terrific.
Good for him.
He says our national anthem should be called the star-spangled bummer.
Let me ask you a little question there.
Who do you think it is that provides your dad with the freedom and protection to prance around Berkeley and actually make a living teaching a class called "movement"? Who do you think that is? Think that's the marines, Bradley? Yeah, I think it's the marines.
Do me a favor, Bradley.
When you get home tonight, ask your dad what language he'd be speaking right now if the American soldiers who stormed the beaches at Normandy had decided to be anti-war like him? Can you do that for me, Bradley? Sprechen sie deutsche?! - Were did bradley go? - He ran away.
I told you not to wear that shirt.
Ty cobb, babe ruth These guys were no saints.
And now, with all the steroids, you're gonna make an example out of Pete Rose? In 10 years, Pete Rose will be in the hall of fame.
You could bet on it.
Yeah.
I know who'll take that bet.
Pete Rose.
How you doin', man? I'm doin'good.
I'm real excited about this.
This is great.
- You got a call on line 2.
- Nobody knows I'm here.
Not you.
Him.
Hey, you lookin' sharp today, man.
Not you.
Him.
Look, I'm Kinda nervous about meeting your boss.
Hey, if things go south, just pretend to hyperventilate like you did when Stephanie Sheitel caught you cheating.
Yeah.
You can't argue with a guy who's hyperventilating.
Unfortunately you can put a brick through his windshield.
- I'll walk you over to Sasha's office? - OK.
What's - What's this girl Sasha like? - You know, grew up rich.
Daddy owns the station.
Doesn't know much about radio, but she has a smarty-pants, Fancy degree so watch out for the S.
A.
T.
Words.
And make sure to mark your orange juice in the fridge, or she will drink it.
I gotta tell you this means a lot to me.
Thank you.
If I get a job here at a radio station, it's a new life, it's a different world.
Have a seat, and i'll tell Sasha you're here.
My buddy's here to talk to you about painting the station.
OK, Curtis, you can send the guy in.
All right, thank you, Paul.
I'll get back to you on that.
Hi.
Thanks for seeing me.
I'm Gary Brooks.
Hello.
Hi.
Sasha Warden.
You come very highly recommended from Curtis, Mr.
Brooks.
I've known Curtis a really long time, ever since we played football together for Fighting toreadors of Jefferson high! You know, the toreadors last year, they finished their season 8 and 1.
Of course, their only loss was on astroturf.
Thank you.
That was Weird.
So, how much experience do you have? None, really, but, I watch sports all the time.
- I talk about sports constantly.
- I don't see how that's Germane.
It's Germane.
It's incredibly Germane, crazy Ger Are you using the word the right way? Germane? All right, so, do you have your own crew? You mean like a posse? No.
It's not my style.
I'm more of like a one-man type thing, but I'm open to bringing in a Sidekick if there's good chemistry.
OK.
Well, we should talk about color.
I only like whites.
Excuse me? Whites, they're just better in the workplace.
You know, they're They're brighter.
They're more positive.
Yellows, yellows are OK, but definitely no darks.
Are you serious? - Is that a problem for you? - Yes, that a problem for me.
It's a big problem for me.
Does Curtis know about this? I'll run it by him, but we don't have a lot of time.
I would like the station painted by the end of the month if that's possible.
What? I would like it painted by the end of the month.
Is that unrealistic? No.
It's not unrealistic at all.
It's just right now, I really wish you were a racist.
OK, so maybe you can't see yourself pursuing a career in sewing or painting or photography, but but have you ever considered the fascinating field of medicine, Tommy? I mean, look at this very, very graphic photo of syphilis.
All right.
Actually I was thinking if dad's gonna be on the radio, maybe that's something I could do, too.
You know, we can have our own show.
We could call it dos amigos locos.
Hey, how did it go? Did you get the job? I got a job, son.
What misunderstanding it turns out they wanted me to paint the radio station.
- That makes sense.
- But it's a good job.
It's a month of work.
It's a 2-story building.
It's gonna take a while.
I'll make some good money.
The point is I went for my dream.
I went for it.
That's what you should take away from this, OK? I guess, but maybe some dreams are just unrealistic.
You're 15 years old.
You don't know where your life's gonna go, OK? Dad, come on.
Let's face it.
Guys like you and me don't have jobs like being on the radio.
We listen to the radio while we're at our jobs.
Well, this is great.
I mean, he's less motivated than ever.
And why would he be motivated? I mean, look at me.
I'm surrounded by a virtual graveyard of things I've tried and lost interest in.
Why'd you look at me when you said that? Look, I don't know how I'm gonna do this, but I'm gonna get on the radio, and I'm gonna show my son that dreams do come true, OK? How in the world did we ever create Louise? It's a fluke, but it happens.
The munsters, they had that pretty daughter.
I'll see ya, grandpa.
Sorry I'm late.
I was doin' the Moonwalk on the way over here, and I just kept gettin' further away.
- What are you doin' out here? - Bradley won't dance with me.
And if I don't have a partner, i'm out of the recital.
Why won't he dance with you? Well, it's because of you, uncle Mitch.
Me? Yeah.
You scared him the other day, and now he won't even talk to me.
He called you a warmonger.
He did? He meant it in a bad way.
- I'm gonna to talk to him.
- Wait.
Wait.
You're not going to threaten him, are you? I've got something even more Wait.
Did you say, "threaten"? Yes.
That's what i'm gonna do.
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
Had to give Louise's dance partner a little history Lesson.
Turns out he actually knows more history than I do.
It's kind of frustrating, but I still made him cry.
There is Sasha.
Time to turn on the old Brooks charm and get myself on the air.
Nice.
So where are you from? - Virginia.
- You a hokie? Hokies! - I don't know what that means.
- Virginia tech.
Hokies.
You guys finished Actually I went to oberlin.
I don't think we had a sports team.
- Yeah, you did.
The Yeomen.
- Fightin' Yeomen! Curtis, will you make sure this fax goes through? I've got a lunch meeting.
Hey, wait, wait.
Listen.
OK, I'll be honest with you.
Little mix-up.
When I came in here for a job, I thought I was comin' in for a job as an on-air sports guy.
That's why I was wearing a suit and that's why I was talking like this the whole time.
How embarrassing.
Felt like a complete idiot sitting in there.
No.
I mean for me.
I know it's asking a lot, but I Kinda told my son I was gonna be on the air.
You could help me out.
I'll go in.
I'll read a commercial, just a call letter, something, just anything at all.
You can help me out.
I'm sorry.
I can't allow that.
And please don't ask again.
It's very uncomfortable for me.
I'm sorry, man.
I didn't know you were talkin' about on-air work when you called.
That's OK, Curtis.
I just heard what I wanted to hear.
I got so excited at the thought of Tommy hearing me on the radio.
Let me take you out for a burger.
I'm sorry.
I just feel bad about all this.
Don't you have to stay in the booth? No.
We got a prerecorded show.
I can skip out anytime I want.
Then let me go in there read something.
I could read a commer anything.
- I'll read the call letters.
- I don't know, man.
- I don't know.
I stand with Sasha yet.
- Let me tell you something, Curtis.
I never told you this before, but it's time you know.
When we were in high school, coach willis told me, "sorry, I'm cuttin' your friend Curtis from the football team.
" And I told coach Willis, "if you cut Curtis, you lose your star quarterback, Brooks.
" I stood up for you, man.
You owe me.
Is any of that true? Yes.
Coach willis was our football coach.
- All right, man.
Get in here.
Come on.
- Yes! Are you serious? Mitch, call Tommy.
Tell him to put on the radio.
Callin' Tommy! Here.
OK, you can do the dodger wrap-up.
Just read what's on the paper and talk into the mike.
Got it? Yeah.
OK, is there anything else I should know? - You're on.
- What?! Now?! No, I'm just messin' with you, man.
I'm playin'.
Don't do that.
That's horrible.
That's not funny.
I'm gonna count you in from the engineer booth, and when I point to you, you're on.
I'm Gary Brooks, and this is the dodger wrap-up.
Matt Kemp homered for the second game in a row to help the Dodgers sweep the Cardinals and extend their lead in the national league west to 5 games.
So that's what the Dodgers are doing.
Let's move on to the WNBA.
They've decided to attract more fans by dropping the "W.
" And moving on to hockey, everybody still hates hockey.
WNBA? Hockey? I told you to read what was on the paper.
What is wrong with you? I'm probably fired.
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to be funny.
I'm just messin' with you, man.
I'm just messin' with you.
Hey, man.
Hey, that was hilarious, dude.
You're a natural.
You did great.
- Thanks.
- Hey, we got a call.
Hello.
KPPQ.
Sure.
Hold on.
It's your son.
You wanna take this call on the air? Are you kidding me? Oh, my gosh.
This is literally a dream come true.
Push the caller button when I point to you.
Hockey.
Oh Boy.
Move it, mister.
I'm 235.
What are you, a buck? Buck-o-5 tops.
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
Now get out of the way! Get out of the booth now.
My son's on the line.
Let me just take this one phone call.
I'll be done.
You do, and you're fired.
Welcome back to dodger wrap-up.
I'm Gary Brooks.
We got a caller on the line.
We got Dodger Tom in Santa Monica.
How you doin' there? What'd you think of the game last night? It was good.
Dad, you're on the air.
How cool is that? That was Dodger Tom with an interesting take on the game last night.
This has been Dodger wrap-up.
I'm Gary Brooks, and I'm on the air! This is pretty much the last of our stuff.
I'll be out of here in 5 minutes.
- Thank you.
- Look.
I don't know who you're planning on hiring to, finish the job, but here's the business card of a guy I could recommend.
This is your card.
I could start right away.
- Good-bye, Mr.
Brooks.
- Look, Sasha, the only reason I did what I did is 'cause my son came home from school happy to be a waiter for the rest of his life, I just wanted to get on the radio to show him he could shoot for something, he could be more than what I amounted to be.
That's the only reason I did it.
That's nice.
You know, my father never cared about inspiring me.
I had to beg him for a job in the family business, and he stuck me here in this nothing radio station where if I screw up, no one'll notice.
Now I feel bad.
- Am I still fired? - Of course.
I feel bad for me growing up with a heartless father.
You gonna be OK, man, losing this job at the last minute? You kidding me? The economy's booming right now.
I'll pick something up.
I just feel bad.
I Like that time when stephanie sheitel caught you cheating.
Yes.
Yes, that's right.
That was horrible.
But this is much worse.
- What's going on? Are you OK? - He's hyperventilating.
It's what happens when he thinks his whole world is falling apart around him.
- Is there something we can do? - You got a paper bag or something? - Here.
No, I got a purse.
- Gimme the purse.
Gimme the purse.
OK.
That's not working.
Should we call an ambulance? No, but he just needs to hear a little bit of good news right now.
I'm going to aspen for Christmas.
Good news in his life.
Fine.
He can stay and paint the station.
- Thank you.
Let's get that burger.
- All right.
Thank you.
You know, I don't ask for a lot, Mr.
Brooks.
Just stay away from the microphone and either get a belt or pull up your paints when you're painting the baseboards.
You've earned that.
Hey.
Look who I found.
Dad, That was awesome.
My friends were listening.
We're, like, famous now.
I thought we had pretty good chemistry.
What do you think about a show called dos amigos locos? "Two crazy friends.
" Who wouldn't listen to that? Hey, Tommy, you want some free stuff from the radio station? Sure.
How about a pair of underwear that says, "speak into the mike"? I'm really proud of you, Gary.
Tommy is so excited.
I mean, you finally got on the radio.
You know? I remember you talking about that dream once.
Although at the time, I think you were just trying to get into my pants.
I be honest with you.
That was probably one of the greatest moments of my life.
Getting in my pants? No, getting on the radio.
Getting on the radio wasn't easy.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know what? You didn't seem that hard yourself.
We'd been drinking all day at the barbecue, rember? I'm sorry about Bradley.
I really thought he'd listen to reason.
- Are you ready to do this? - Semper fi.