Hit-Monkey (2021) s02e01 Episode Script

1
[eerie music playing]
-[Bryce] I wouldn't do that if I were you.
-[Monkey hoots]
You pick up one of these in anger
-and you'll never put it down.
-[Monkey growls]
-[guns firing]
-[upbeat rock music playing]
[Bryce]
You and me, we're connected.
And there's unfinished work here.
-[gun cocks]
-[Haruka] She's hiding something.
I know it.
[Bryce]
There are only two things
that scared me in this world
when I was alive.
One, ghosts.
The other one, Lady Bullseye.
Ito-san!
[Bryce]
Killer of killers.
Huh. Eh, you know what?
That actually sounds pretty badass.
Now, grab a sword.
That thing's rad.
[Bonsai Master]
You would like to meet its sister.
-[Monkey shrieks]
-[man groans]
[newscaster] The new prime minister
of Japan is Shinji Yokohama.
-[guests cheering]
-Hello, Bryce.
-[woman laughing evilly]
-Oh, my God!
I have physical form!
Come on, you got this.
[gun firing]
You have come for me,
haven't you, Monkey?
[Bryce] Don't do it, pal.
Look, I made this mistake before, okay?
Akiko won't forgive you.
Shinji Yokohama,
I'm placing you under arrest
for the murder of Ken Takahara.
It can't end like this.
What did you do, you animal?
[voice echoes]
-[Bryce] Mm, mm, mm.
-Huh?
You know, I got to the afterlife,
and it was an awesome place.
You know, fire everywhere,
super dramatic.
I was like, you know what?
My friend's up there all alone,
and I think he needs my help.
So I figured, you know,
we'd go to New York,
kill a whole bunch of assholes
who deserve to die
and maybe, uh,
you know, see the sights.
[suspenseful music playing]
[eerie music playing]
[Bryce]
[panting] Oh. Holy shit!
Hey, look, look!
I'm ascending!
Oh, my God! [laughs]
Monkey, I think you know
how I feel about you, okay?
And I-I'm sorry for ruining your life!
Just take care of yourself, alright?
And remember to drink plenty of water!
Where where am I?
-[wind howling]
-[flames whooshing]
[creature screeching]
[dark, intense music playing]
Where where am I?
I-I-I don't belong here. Okay?
I-I did the right thing!
I'm a I'm a good guy now!
You can never undo what you've done.
You've killed in anger, in spite.
Your soul, Bryce McHenry, is cursed.
[echoing]
[stammering]
A-a-are you the manager here?
Because I have some complaints,
you know,
namely, uh, this hook buried
in my asshole, yeah?
Oh, I am sorry you are disappointed
with the arrangements
but this is what happens
to chodes like you.
Or did we not make that clear
in the literature?
Literature? Oh, no, see,
I-I didn't get any lit
Are you talking about the Bible?
No, w-w-w-wait!
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Look, th-this, this can't be
the end of the line for me, man.
You had one function,
to shepherd the Monkey.
Your purpose with him is fulfilled.
[shouting] No!
[shouting]
Okay, yeah, but wha-what
about his purpose to you?
To me?
Yeah. I mean, you don't want
the adulterers, you know,
the souls who skipped on parking tickets.
You want killers!
The real tasty ones, you know.
And Monkey can give that
to you, alright?
He's-he's your top earner.
Then why would I need you?
Because without me,
he's just a sensitive little furball
takin' baths
and eatin' fruit, you know?
He doesn't have an appetite
for the work, okay?
But I, I could keep him
on the right path.
I could keep him hungry.
You are certain it's not someone else
you wanna go back for?
-[flesh sizzling]
-It's too late to fix the past.
No. No, man.
Come on.
I swear.
Look, look,
j-just send me back up there,
and Monkey and I will be serving you
the filet mignon of shitbags all day long.
You're gonna love it, I swear.
[devil chuckling]
Hey! Hey, hey!
We have a deal or not?
Ya dick!
Wha-what? No!
[screaming]
[intense rock music playing]
[eerie music playing]
-[rat squeaking]
-[horns honking]
The boys are back ♪
[hip-hop music playing]
The boys are back ♪
The boys are back ♪
Yeah, I'm back, sliced up
and my chain is gold ♪
-[gunshot]
-Woo-hoo!
Welcome to the last supper, ya bitches!
[guns firing]
You got a nine to five,
I got a five to nine ♪
Pumping bass out the side
from the fresh out pines ♪
My chain is low
and it weighs more than me ♪
I'm the king of this jungle
I was born to be ♪
Got the keys to the city
in the palm of our hand ♪
When you see us walk by
scream as loud as you can ♪
The boys are back ♪
The boys are back ♪
Hey, man,
it's a whole new city, okay?
We gotta slum it for a while,
make a name for ourselves.
Now, once we get an agent,
we can then start taking out
some real bad guys, yeah?
-[Monkey whines]
-And, hey, look,
it's not like that mobster was some
innocent little angel.
Eh, uh, tax evasion, alright?
All those faulty loans he had.
Also, all the murders, you know?
[chuckles]
[Monkey huffs]
Alright, this ain't working.
Hey, can we get another round over here?
Immediamente.
Why you still in the subway
and I'm in the cab ♪
So give me the mic and pump it
'cause we always staying on track ♪
Yeah, the city will cheer
with trumpets ♪
'Cause the kings are back ♪
Got a fresh can of paint
and you know my tab ♪
They try to hold us down
but the boys are back ♪
[Monkey screeching]
It's going down ♪
[doorbell chimes]
-[Monkey grunts]
-What does the card mean?
It means after four goddamn months
of slumming it,
we can ditch the flophouse
and go make some real coin.
[horns honking]
Okay, her name is Eunice Jones,
but most people call her
The Handler 'cause, you know,
she handles shit, you know?
Like, gettin' you way more money.
I mean, she was my agent,
and I owned this town.
She's definitely who you want
representing you.
-[Monkey grunts]
-Well, no, except for the Tokyo thing,
which was, yes, a massive cock-up.
But honestly, she's a big, big deal.
-[Monkey whines]
-L-l-look, I get it.
Killin' doesn't feel good
to you anymore, alright?
But it's your destiny, remember?
Besides, plenty of people
hate their jobs, okay?
It's literally somebody's job
to jack-off horses.
-You wanna trade with them?
-[Monkey growls]
Those hands of yours just wrap around
a giant horse dong,
just work that son of a bitch up and down
like a shake weight.
-[Monkey grunts]
-Will you relax? It's a front.
She used to run it out of a wine shop,
but her clients kept drinking
all the merch.
Plus, she gets a little side cash
from the funerals.
-Oh, there she is.
-[Monkey whines]
-[doorbell ringing]
-Uh-uh.
If those aren't the ones
with the chewy middles,
you can piss off right now, Bubbles.
[up-tempo jazz music playing on stereo]
[Monkey grunts]
Hmm. Nougat.
Eunice Jones. I've been watching
your work. Big fan.
Welcome to the Majors, baby.
[Bryce laughs]
Listen, you gonna find out
that I am available for you 24/7.
If someone doesn't pay you,
I will massacre them.
If someone tries to double-cross you,
I will find them, rip their asshole out,
and fry it up like calamari.
Oh, she ain't lying either.
I've seen her do it.
Now I did some checking,
and I know you have a code.
Uh, you have morals.
And I respect that.
Not many people will.
Tell me more about you.
Tell me what you are looking for.
[Monkey grunting]
I didn't understand
a single thing that you said,
but, uh, what I can say is that
I get that you are looking for a home,
someplace to call home?
Well, that's what we are, bruh.
Family.
Oh, oh!
Aw. Look at that.
Still represented here.
I'm touched.
Yeah, except that one.
He died. Foreign job.
You know, I feel bad about it,
but to be honest,
I don't miss working with him.
Okay.
Bryce was a bit of a narcissist.
We used to just say charming.
-Womanizer
-[Bryce] Really?
alcoholic, breath stank,
-always late.
-[Bryce] Oh, fuck this.
I mean,
it's kind of a lesson in how
this business can break you.
[glass shatters]
What the living shit?
[Monkey grunts]
Wait a minute.
Are you telepathic?
'Cause we can totally mark
Whoa, whoa!
Wait a minute.
I gave Bryce those glasses
as a birthday present.
Did you know him?
Is that son of a bitch here?
[Monkey grunts]
Okay, I'm officially going back to church.
[cork pops]
That's our favorite Scotch.
Bryce?
Wait a minute. What are you doing?
What are you doing?
You know that's $2,000 an ounce!
Look, if this is about Tokyo, I
-[glass shatters]
-Bryce, Bryce.
No, Bryce, please.
Not the Louis
-Monkey! Tell him to stop!
-[Monkey grunts]
Okay, okay, okay.
The contact went rogue!
I thought you'd talk your way out of it.
You always talk your way
out of it like you always
Okay, I fucked up, okay, Bryce?
Is that what you want
to hear Eunice say?
I looked at the dollars
instead of the client, okay?
I got blinded by all the zeros.
But I swear, Bryce, I didn't know
that you would get killed.
It was an international vetter.
So much shit got lost in translation.
But you have my word
that I learned from that.
Look, I know I can't
make things right for you,
but you know damn well
that I can help this monkey.
And because I feel so bad,
I'll only do it for like,
um, what, li-like, 20%.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
Fifteen. Fifteen's fair.
We good? Fifteen is fair.
[Monkey grunts in agreement]
Okay, don't trust this scumbag
as far as you can throw her.
But definitely sign with her.
She's the best.
[grunts]
-[glass shatters]
-[Eunice] Damn it, Bryce!
Ah, I'm sorry.
I'm still working these powers out,
but fuck it, you know?
Let's make some money!
[tires screech]
Yeah. I just couldn't bring myself
to sell your apartment after you died.
Aw, 'cause it reminded you of me.
My accountant said I'll probably
be able to retire off of this.
Woo, the real estate
in this area is on fire.
Jesus Christ.
But it's yours now, Monkey.
-Apartment 7H.
-[Monkey ooking]
I would show you up,
but I got courtside seats to the Knicks
and, uh, I believe in them, Monkey.
-I believe in them.
-[Monkey whimpers]
We'll be in touch.
Well, the Knicks
haven't been good since '93,
so no need to rush!
Wow, wow, wow!
I never thought I'd see this place again.
[inquisitive grunts]
No, I didn't have anything stolen.
It's a bachelor pad.
This is how I had it decorated.
-[Monkey grunts]
-Oh, and this is coming from the guy
who used to shit in his hands.
[Monkey] Ooh
[Bryce]
Now there's Feng Shuis going on,
and there's other Shuis and there's
Oh, my God, it's totally depressing,
isn't it?
-[water running]
-Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Someone's here.
[suspenseful music playing]
[water running]
-[Bryce yelps]
-Ah, Jesus Christ!
-What the heck?
-[Monkey ooking]
"Jesus Christ, what the heck,"
is what I should say.
[Haruka sighs]
I was wondering how long
it would take you to get here.
Tokyo went to shit after Shinji's death.
I tried to clear your name,
but no one would listen to me.
I was an inconvenient truth.
No, you know, I actually have
a theory about that.
-It's that people are dicks.
-[Monkey ooking]
Political infighting,
bitter recriminations,
a total breakdown of civility.
Reprisals and power grabs turned
the streets into an open turf war.
[guns firing]
-[explosion booms]
-[people scream]
No one was spared.
Everyone was a target.
Not even the cops were immune.
[electricity crackling]
[explosion booms]
-[guns firing]
-[men shouting]
[officer] Take 'em out!
[Haruka] It looked like we were
gonna be able to hold them off,
but that's when this
thing showed up.
A man, a demon,
something else, I don't know.
All I saw was this pair
of glowing yellow eyes
as it mowed down
everything in its path
[gunfire]
even its own men.
We took cover in the evidence room.
It was the safest place we had.
But then we saw what they were after.
[gunshot]
It was Bonsai Master's sword.
Haruka, go!
-[gunshot]
-[echoing] Go!
-Our Captain died a hero that day.
-[Captain screaming]
Bought me enough time to escape.
[Monkey whimpers]
And to save this.
Holy crap.
Talk about things
I never thought I'd see again.
[dramatic music playing]
If they were
after Bonsai Master's sword,
they might be after yours, Monkey.
And the only lead I had to you
was Bryce's address
that I found in his police files.
-[Bryce] Police files?
-It's been super depressing
waiting here for you guys.
You really lived like a loser, Bryce.
-[Monkey grunts]
-Oh, yeah?
Well, would a loser have banged
the Channel One weather girl
right where you're sitting?
I can't hear you, Bryce,
but I'm sure you said something snotty.
Anyway, a lot of people died
trying to get their hands on this.
I still haven't figured out why.
Hey, rich people collect weird shit.
I knew a guy once who only collected
famous people's nail clippings,
like going all the way back to Napoleon.
-[growls]
-Seriously.
Had a whole wall
in his house dedicated to it.
I shot him in front of it, in fact.
Some might say I "nailed" it.
-[chuckles] Up top, come on!
-[Haruka sighs]
-Is he saying anything helpful?
-Uh-uh.
Okay, fine. Look, I know
a rare weapons dealer, okay?
Good buddy of mine.
We used to spend weekends
trying to build up
a tolerance to cyanide.
If anybody in New York can help us
figure this out, it's him.
Unless the cyanide killed him.
[upbeat rock music playing]
[siren wailing in distance]
[door bell tinkles]
-[cat screeching]
-[Monkey ooking]
What's happenin', people?
You must be the friends
of Bryce who called.
How is that son of a bitch?
-Dead.
-[Monkey ooks]
Oh. Well, that doesn't surprise me.
-[Bryce] What, why?
-He was a bit careless
-[Bryce] What?
-and self-absorbed.
-What?
-[Carl] And money hungry
-and kind of a dick.
-Eat my ass, Carl.
Pretty much just
an all-around sad, soulless man.
No one deserves this.
Anyway, let's check out these swords.
[mysterious music playing]
Okay.
It's ancient, 1st century, maybe older.
Yeah, way older.
It's a mythical weapon of some sort.
[whines, grunts]
I've only seen one of these before.
You haven't wielded this yet, have you?
No. I haven't taken it
out of its scabbard.
Don't. It'll fuck with you
in a major way.
Weapons like this can possess you.
They have a soul.
You become one with all the people
who have used it before.
Also, if anyone else carries
a weapon like it,
they might be able to track you.
Oh, so worst possible case scenario.
What about Monkey's sword?
We were told they were sisters?
Uh, stepsisters, maybe.
It's a facsimile, a fake.
[Monkey grunts]
I mean, it's a good weapon, certainly.
All I'm saying, it's nowhere
near as old as this one.
Appraisals are $100 apiece.
Hold on, we're done?
That's all you've got?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize I was supposed
to do an entire
goddamn TED Talk for you.
I can make some calls about it.
You wanna leave it here?
-Um
-Hard pass.
-Rock hard pass.
-Yeah, we'll take it with us.
Oh, hey, about Bryce,
he owes me 500 bucks for this
pair of nunchucks I lent him.
You know if he had a will?
Or a shoebox full
of blood money or something?
Anything?
Fuck!
[Bryce] You can put it
on my tab, Carl.
[horns honking]
[Eunice] But to be honest,
I don't miss working with him.
[Haruka]
You really lived like a loser, Bryce.
[Carl] Pretty much just
an all-around sad, soulless man.
[devil laughing]
[Devil]
It's too late to fix the past.
[rattling]
Come on, asshole.
Get it together.
[rattling]
Ah, goddammit.
You never contacted her, did you?
I went through all that goddamn work
to find your daughter,
and you couldn't even walk your ass
across the street and say hi.
And now you're dead.
You sure she really wants to hear
what you've got to say?
-[scoffs] I wouldn't.
-It's all too late now.
[Haruka]
Freeze! Who are you?
-What are you doing here?
-Freeze?
-What are you, a cop?
-I'm not really sure anymore.
It's complicated.
Okay, while you figuring that out,
who are you and why the hell are you
in my client's apartment?
Put your gun down!
Uh-uh, you put your gun down.
Gun down now!
My gun is bigger than your gun.
What? Size doesn't matter!
Oh, the size always counts, baby!
The size always counts!
-[Haruka] This is ridiculous.
-[Monkey screeching]
-[Eunice] What, you know this asshole?
-[Haruka] You know this asshole?
[whines, grunts]
What are these?
Dirty pictures?
Hey, stop that, will ya?
Put those down.
Let's just cut the shit.
I have a job for the monkey.
-[inquisitive grunts]
-It's a high-value target.
Lots of money.
Small window of opportunity.
And get this, he's a real dirtbag.
Just your type, furry.
Monkey isn't here to kill for money.
You can't just exploit him like that.
Okay, you know what?
I'm done.
-Everyone, out of my apartment. Let's go.
-Exploit him?
Who do you think
is paying for all of this?
-Guys. Hey, guys.
-Leave it to a cop
to think that everything is free.
-[Bryce] Enough!
-Whoa!
-[Monkey grunts]
-Okay. Jesus.
Sorry. Fine, do the hit.
Satisfy the man.
And I'll go visit Carl
and get some answers.
Oh, gee, thank you, officer,
for lettin' us do our job.
Here. I brought you a phone
so I don't have to come here no more.
[grunts] Oh
[somber music playing]
[birds chirping]
[Bryce]
Well, this is the address.
Looks like our target's in the penthouse.
-[Monkey grunts]
-Oh, my God, stop being so sensitive.
You heard Eunice.
The target's a total douchebag.
They deserve to die.
Besides, you have to do it.
You don't wanna let her down
on the first gig she booked for ya.
[Monkey whines, grunts]
[woman screaming]
-[man] Get out of here, you!
-[Monkey shrieks]
[man]
No monkeys allowed in here!
How'd it go?
Yeah, I know, I'm kidding.
♪♪
Hey, if you just killed that guy,
we'd be taking the elevator
instead of having to Tom Cruise it.
Spend the bullets, save the time.
I keep trying to tell ya.
[Monkey panting]
Huh, maybe I got the wrong floor.
Might've lost count.
And by the way, see this?
It's called minimalist, like my apartment.
See, I have rich people's taste.
Penthouse taste.
[gun clicks]
[oven hissing]
[sniffing]
Somebody's maid's about to get fired.
Wait, is there something in the oven?
Oh, shit.
-[explosion booms]
-[Monkey shrieking]
Monkey! Do you see it?
I'm doing it!
-I'm awesome!
-[Monkey shrieks]
I'm a superhero!
They should call me
Bryceler 3000 or Doctor
Oh, crap!
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, still trying to figure
these powers out, you know.
[ooking]
I know, it's weird.
I mean, why set us up on a hit?
They could've just gotten us
at the apartment
lounging on the couch next to
Oh, my God. Haruka.
[door bell tinkles]
Hello?
Anyone here?
I had an appointment.
I was in yesterday.
Bryce's friend.
[Haruka gasping]
[dramatic music playing]
-Oh, God!
-[cat growling]
Oh, shit.
[cat roars]
-[tires screeching]
-[Bryce] Okay, hurry up.
We haven't missed
Haruka's appointment by much.
-Hey, there she is!
-[door bell tinkles]
-[cat growling]
-Holy shit!
-[horns honking]
-Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
-Let me in!
-Uh, uh, not today.
[tires screeching]
-[cat roaring]
-Asshole!
-[metal crunches]
-[grunts]
[cat roaring]
Take the shot! Do it!
Take the shot!
[gun firing]
[bullets pinging]
[Bryce]
What?
It's bulletproof?
[grunting]
-[cat growling]
-[cabbie] Oh, sweet Jesus!
[Haruka yelling]
[cat growling]
[cat roaring]
[Haruka] Shit, shit, shit!
[pulsing]
-[energy crackling]
-[Haruka screaming]
[samurai snickering]
[dramatic music playing]
[sword swishes]
[flesh squelches]
[soft grunting]
Holy smokes.
[dramatic music playing]
Oh
Oh, wow, so we're doin' some
serious leveling up here, kids.
My sword tried to warn me
when the cat was near,
and I could feel its energy.
I was someone else.
Violent, powerful.
It was intoxicating.
[grunts, whimpers]
I know. And terrifying.
-[Monkey grunts]
-[Haruka] Hmm?
That's, um, that's her, my daughter.
Her name's Iris.
She's worked here for a year.
I never contacted her.
But I'd watch her from here
almost every night.
She's a horrible waitress.
This is as far as I ever got, though.
I mean, what good would I have been
to her anyway, right?
[wry chuckle]
No, it's better to keep her away
from my life.
I have cried ♪
Many tears ♪
All those rivers have brought me here ♪
-[siren wailing]
-[camera shutter clicking]
[mysterious music playing]
♪♪
[Eunice] We're gonna find out
who is responsible for this,
and we're gonna massacre their ass.
I want a body and a voice.
Done.
[devil snickering]
What's this all gonna cost me?
Nothing. For now.
[laughing evilly]
Well, I'm still a ghost.
All I know is that
I've literally gone through hell
to talk to you.
Monkey, I believe
we're on the same side here,
fighting the same war.
-[Monkey shrieks]
-[gun firing]
Hi.
-Huh?
-Hello, creepy child.
[Bryce] I'm your father.
This is your first dead body.
I wanna be there for you
to hold your hair back when you puke.
Monkey, are you alright?
[roaring] No!
This family could save the world.
We have the chance to be heroes.
Let's get violent!
Hey, Judas.
[upbeat rock music playing]
Are you not entertained?
♪♪
["Bed of Nails" by Patrick Austin
and Michael Chestnutt playing]
♪♪