Infinity Train (2019) s02e01 Episode Script
The Black Market Car
1 [Train clacking.]
Aah! Ooh! [Clattering.]
[Grunts.]
[Whirring.]
Hm.
Aah! [Pants.]
[Grunting.]
[Splat.]
Ha-ha! Aah! [Grunts.]
[Chattering.]
Huh? [Grunts.]
Glad-One: Welcome aboard, new passenger! - I'm your conductor, One - Sad-One: One.
Glad-One: Once you wipe those groggy little peepers, you'll probably have a lot of questions, like Both: Where am I? Why am I here? Are snacks provided? I didn't ask that.
For those of you talking to me like I'm there in real life, I'm not! Sad-One: I'm a cold, steely, pre-recorded video.
Glad-One: And this is a train where you sort out your problems.
How about that number on your hand, huh? Pretty cool and green.
Sad-One: Every passenger has one.
Glad-One: The numbers are made by the train based on your life in order to help you have the most personalized experience we can offer.
If you want to go home, get your number down to zero, and poof, away you go.
Sad-One: [Sighs.]
I'm a zero.
Glad-One: But always remember there are lots of denizens along the way to help you on your journey.
Don't be afraid to reach out.
Sad-One: Unless the denizen is one of those monsters with more teeth than body.
Glad-One: Remember, you can't spell "escape" without "companionship.
" Uh, companion-shape? Companion-scape.
Sad-One: By watching this recording, you've agreed to release the train of any liabilities [Indistinct conversations.]
Hey, shiny girl.
Don't be stuck up.
Tape merchant: Fresh batch of passenger memory tapes, two for one, today only, real sad.
Hey, sweetie, you're shiny.
Let me take a closer look.
No! Aah! [Glass shatters.]
Hello, sliver.
Ah! Criminal, halt! Gotcha.
Ah! Huh? [Breathing heavily.]
Huh? [Grunting.]
Huh? Huh? Huh? What? [Sighs.]
[Breathing heavily.]
Right there.
[Gasps.]
[Grunts.]
[Gasps.]
Dead end, sliver.
Huh? Maneuver 406.
Got it, buddy.
[Breathing heavily.]
Ha! Leave me alone.
Not until you're ground into dust.
Hey, watch it! Oop.
Sorry.
Aah! [Grunting.]
We can't lose her, not again.
Ah! [Breathing heavily.]
Hm? Huh? Why did I hide behind the deer? Huh? There's no escape, sliver.
We've got you cornered, and I just love cutting corners.
[Whirring.]
[Door closes.]
Mm.
Humiliating.
She's gone again.
Don't worry, Mace.
We'll get her.
I know that.
Slivers are weak, think they're above the law.
She made her choice, but they all get tired, and they let their guard down, think they're safe.
They're never safe.
Well, I guess we should get on through this car and No, your suit is compromised.
Whoops, oh, yeah.
Thanks, buddy.
If this tear gets too big, I'm a goner.
I'm fully aware.
We'll do one more sweep, then head back to the station.
Well, on the upside, the last couple of months tracking her have been a great, truly great bonding experience.
Enough.
Yeah, I should shut up.
You got it, buddy.
Whew.
Whoa! Uh, thanks for the save.
Well, bye.
Hmm.
[Footsteps approach.]
[Gasps.]
Uh, sorry.
I gotta do this alone.
[Grunts.]
Hey, come on.
I'm walking! You go do your thing, and I'll do mine.
Why are you still here? [Snorts.]
You like this stuff, huh? So what's your deal? I hear that.
You from around here? Huh, glad you asked.
Nope, I'm not.
I'm from a place called The Chrome Car.
Well, that's what Tulip, my prime, called it.
It's actually called The Mirror World.
Yeah, don't go there.
It sucks.
That's where those Flecs are from.
I hate those guys.
They've been chasing me just 'cause I don't wanna live the rest of my life as somebody's ref [Sighs.]
Okay, this one or this one? You don't care, do you? [Thud.]
Okay.
Let's not do that.
Nice.
What other colors can you Huh, okay, brown again.
You've got a nice home.
Aww! [Snoring.]
[Snoring loudly.]
Whuzuh? Deer? Hey, come on.
Where'd you go? Deer? Deer? Deer?! Jesse: Aw, yeah, looking good.
Okay.
Now just don't move.
[Growls.]
Hey, leave him alone.
Whoa.
Hi.
I'm Jesse.
What's your name? I don't care who you are.
Why are you putting sunglasses on a deer? Because it's funny.
Look at him.
Look at you.
[Gasps.]
[Grunts.]
Aw, come on, those are mine.
Some of the cars here are really bright.
He didn't ask for glasses.
He's just living his life.
But he's my deer.
We've been hanging out for a whole hour, maybe even a little more.
He's free.
He's his own deer.
But if he was anyone's deer, he'd be my deer because I hung out with him longer, like two days.
Are you sure? I got all these pics with him.
Pff! That could be any deer.
This deer can change color.
Oh, well, this guy doesn't change colors.
He's got laser eyes.
Bzzt! Bzzt! [Laughs.]
Seriously, laser eyes? Yeah.
Well, laser vision.
Heat vision.
What do What do you call it? What kind of idiot do you think I am? This deer doesn't have Does your deer do that? No.
I think we've been hanging out with the same deer.
Have you been getting two dinners? Oh, he's friends with both of us.
Now we're friends, too, by association.
We're travel friends.
What? No.
Travel friends brought together by the sheer majesty Of an incredible, superpowered deer and No, this deer and I are leaving.
Goodbye, and enjoy putting sunglasses on random animals.
[Grunts.]
Dracula's not random.
He's my friend.
Dracula? You cannot name a deer Dracula.
Let's ask the deer.
Hey, deer, what do you want to be called? Dracula.
[Chuckles.]
See? Dracula.
No.
Hmm, yeah.
I guess you're right.
Maybe we should go with something everyone would be into.
What's everyone's favorite name? Oh, Alan! It's Alan.
Wait.
[Gasps.]
That's it.
Alan Dracula.
Let's try it out.
Hello.
Have you met my deer, Alan Dracula? Oh, yeah, sounds like something I'd say.
Good idea, chrome girl.
No! That's not his name, and that's not my name! You can't go around deciding names for people without asking.
It's their choice to [Creaking.]
[Gasps.]
Alan Dracula! No! [Both gasp.]
Aah! Ooh! [Clattering.]
[Grunts.]
[Whirring.]
Hm.
Aah! [Pants.]
[Grunting.]
[Splat.]
Ha-ha! Aah! [Grunts.]
[Chattering.]
Huh? [Grunts.]
Glad-One: Welcome aboard, new passenger! - I'm your conductor, One - Sad-One: One.
Glad-One: Once you wipe those groggy little peepers, you'll probably have a lot of questions, like Both: Where am I? Why am I here? Are snacks provided? I didn't ask that.
For those of you talking to me like I'm there in real life, I'm not! Sad-One: I'm a cold, steely, pre-recorded video.
Glad-One: And this is a train where you sort out your problems.
How about that number on your hand, huh? Pretty cool and green.
Sad-One: Every passenger has one.
Glad-One: The numbers are made by the train based on your life in order to help you have the most personalized experience we can offer.
If you want to go home, get your number down to zero, and poof, away you go.
Sad-One: [Sighs.]
I'm a zero.
Glad-One: But always remember there are lots of denizens along the way to help you on your journey.
Don't be afraid to reach out.
Sad-One: Unless the denizen is one of those monsters with more teeth than body.
Glad-One: Remember, you can't spell "escape" without "companionship.
" Uh, companion-shape? Companion-scape.
Sad-One: By watching this recording, you've agreed to release the train of any liabilities [Indistinct conversations.]
Hey, shiny girl.
Don't be stuck up.
Tape merchant: Fresh batch of passenger memory tapes, two for one, today only, real sad.
Hey, sweetie, you're shiny.
Let me take a closer look.
No! Aah! [Glass shatters.]
Hello, sliver.
Ah! Criminal, halt! Gotcha.
Ah! Huh? [Breathing heavily.]
Huh? [Grunting.]
Huh? Huh? Huh? What? [Sighs.]
[Breathing heavily.]
Right there.
[Gasps.]
[Grunts.]
[Gasps.]
Dead end, sliver.
Huh? Maneuver 406.
Got it, buddy.
[Breathing heavily.]
Ha! Leave me alone.
Not until you're ground into dust.
Hey, watch it! Oop.
Sorry.
Aah! [Grunting.]
We can't lose her, not again.
Ah! [Breathing heavily.]
Hm? Huh? Why did I hide behind the deer? Huh? There's no escape, sliver.
We've got you cornered, and I just love cutting corners.
[Whirring.]
[Door closes.]
Mm.
Humiliating.
She's gone again.
Don't worry, Mace.
We'll get her.
I know that.
Slivers are weak, think they're above the law.
She made her choice, but they all get tired, and they let their guard down, think they're safe.
They're never safe.
Well, I guess we should get on through this car and No, your suit is compromised.
Whoops, oh, yeah.
Thanks, buddy.
If this tear gets too big, I'm a goner.
I'm fully aware.
We'll do one more sweep, then head back to the station.
Well, on the upside, the last couple of months tracking her have been a great, truly great bonding experience.
Enough.
Yeah, I should shut up.
You got it, buddy.
Whew.
Whoa! Uh, thanks for the save.
Well, bye.
Hmm.
[Footsteps approach.]
[Gasps.]
Uh, sorry.
I gotta do this alone.
[Grunts.]
Hey, come on.
I'm walking! You go do your thing, and I'll do mine.
Why are you still here? [Snorts.]
You like this stuff, huh? So what's your deal? I hear that.
You from around here? Huh, glad you asked.
Nope, I'm not.
I'm from a place called The Chrome Car.
Well, that's what Tulip, my prime, called it.
It's actually called The Mirror World.
Yeah, don't go there.
It sucks.
That's where those Flecs are from.
I hate those guys.
They've been chasing me just 'cause I don't wanna live the rest of my life as somebody's ref [Sighs.]
Okay, this one or this one? You don't care, do you? [Thud.]
Okay.
Let's not do that.
Nice.
What other colors can you Huh, okay, brown again.
You've got a nice home.
Aww! [Snoring.]
[Snoring loudly.]
Whuzuh? Deer? Hey, come on.
Where'd you go? Deer? Deer? Deer?! Jesse: Aw, yeah, looking good.
Okay.
Now just don't move.
[Growls.]
Hey, leave him alone.
Whoa.
Hi.
I'm Jesse.
What's your name? I don't care who you are.
Why are you putting sunglasses on a deer? Because it's funny.
Look at him.
Look at you.
[Gasps.]
[Grunts.]
Aw, come on, those are mine.
Some of the cars here are really bright.
He didn't ask for glasses.
He's just living his life.
But he's my deer.
We've been hanging out for a whole hour, maybe even a little more.
He's free.
He's his own deer.
But if he was anyone's deer, he'd be my deer because I hung out with him longer, like two days.
Are you sure? I got all these pics with him.
Pff! That could be any deer.
This deer can change color.
Oh, well, this guy doesn't change colors.
He's got laser eyes.
Bzzt! Bzzt! [Laughs.]
Seriously, laser eyes? Yeah.
Well, laser vision.
Heat vision.
What do What do you call it? What kind of idiot do you think I am? This deer doesn't have Does your deer do that? No.
I think we've been hanging out with the same deer.
Have you been getting two dinners? Oh, he's friends with both of us.
Now we're friends, too, by association.
We're travel friends.
What? No.
Travel friends brought together by the sheer majesty Of an incredible, superpowered deer and No, this deer and I are leaving.
Goodbye, and enjoy putting sunglasses on random animals.
[Grunts.]
Dracula's not random.
He's my friend.
Dracula? You cannot name a deer Dracula.
Let's ask the deer.
Hey, deer, what do you want to be called? Dracula.
[Chuckles.]
See? Dracula.
No.
Hmm, yeah.
I guess you're right.
Maybe we should go with something everyone would be into.
What's everyone's favorite name? Oh, Alan! It's Alan.
Wait.
[Gasps.]
That's it.
Alan Dracula.
Let's try it out.
Hello.
Have you met my deer, Alan Dracula? Oh, yeah, sounds like something I'd say.
Good idea, chrome girl.
No! That's not his name, and that's not my name! You can't go around deciding names for people without asking.
It's their choice to [Creaking.]
[Gasps.]
Alan Dracula! No! [Both gasp.]