Insatiable (2018) s02e01 Episode Script
Pig
1 - [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [ANIMALS HOWLING.]
[SIZZLING.]
[PIG SQUEALS.]
I used to love him But I had to kill him I had to put him Oh Six feet under And I can still hear him complain [GROANS.]
What the fuck? [STAMMERING.]
This has been the worst day ever! I should have killed myself! I mean, like, what else could possibly go wrong? Well I may have also sorta killed Stella Rose.
- Seriously? - You don't understand.
She had me handcuffed to the Weenmobile.
I had to escape using fudgey wiener cream.
Stella Rose was trying to asphyxiate me and play it off as a suicide and blame it on you.
- [ENGINE TURNS OVER.]
- So I did what I had to do.
- [RUMBLES.]
- [GASPS.]
I ran her over.
Twice.
And then I got the hell out of there.
Bob, say something.
Okay, we are gonna get through this.
[EXHALES.]
We've just gotta stay calm.
I killed two people, Bob.
Two.
Yeah, two crazy people.
Christian was trying to turn you into a murderer, and Stella Rose was trying to kill you.
[SIGHS.]
Maybe I should just turn myself in.
No! You said it yourself, it was self-defense.
Yeah, but a jury might not see it that way.
So I'm fucked.
I'm totally, totally fucked.
You are not fucked because I am going to help you.
Why? I deserve to be punished.
I did horrible things.
But you also saved my life twice.
Maybe all of this was meant to be.
You think that me trying to kidnap Roxy - Hola! - [SHOUTS.]
- but getting kidnapped first - [GUNSHOT.]
and killing Stella Rose and then killing Christian That was all fate? Well, no.
Uh I was thinking that you were supposed to stop me from killing myself, and then it was my turn to help you, but what if two dead bodies are the best thing that ever happened to us? What if we can blame their deaths on each other? We can take Christian's body, go back to Stella Rose.
We can stage a crime scene.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
So all we would need to do is get Stella Rose's fingerprints on that crowbar without leaving any hair or fibers behind.
Nonnie made me watch all eight seasons of Dexter.
Hmm.
That explains so much.
Okay, so what would Dexter Morgan do? [PATTY.]
What the hell? [BOB ARMSTRONG.]
Huh? [PATTY.]
I left her right here.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
What? Stella Rose I left her right here.
Are you sure? I think so.
Yes! Yeah.
See? That's the hose.
That's the one Stella Rose tried to asphyxiate me with.
Are you fucking kidding me? - Is she still alive? Where did she go? - I thought you said to stay calm.
Yeah, that was before when I thought she was dead! It was bad enough when I thought you killed her.
This is way worse.
She could still be coming after you.
We have to find her.
You got something in your caboodle that can track crazy? No, we start by calling all the hospitals and morgues, see if somebody showed up.
Shouldn't we get rid of Christian's body first? We'll take it with us.
We will go back to my car.
We will find a place to ditch the body.
What about the murder weapon and Christian's car? Stop asking me questions! We will deal with all of that later.
Come on! A little help.
Okay, I've called all of the hospitals and morgues within 25 miles.
No one has anyone fitting Stella Rose's description.
Shit! - Now what? - How should I know? I'm a lawyer, not a killer.
Hmm.
No offense, sorry.
Maybe she wasn't as injured as I thought that she was, and Could she have just gone home? Maybe.
I mean, she lives a couple hours outside of town.
We could go check.
Wait.
Stop! Over there! - [BOB.]
You see something? - Yeah! Yeah.
[GASPS.]
I'm starving.
I had never eaten like this in front of anyone except for Nonnie, but these were extreme circumstances.
Patty, slow down.
You're gonna make yourself sick.
[PATTY.]
Better sick than what I was feeling.
Just let me eat these burgers, then we can bury the effin' body, okay? Honest, like, what does it even matter what I eat anyway? I thought once I lost weight, my life would be amazing.
Joke's on me.
Now I'm thin, and I'm a killer.
You're not a killer.
You are a girl who was holding onto a lot of rage.
But now that it is out, you can let it go.
You can move on, have a fresh start.
You really think that's possible? It is if we could just - get through tonight.
- [HORN BEEPING.]
If you don't got cash, that's cool.
- Oh! - [REGINA.]
I take Venmo! - Crap! Get down.
It's Regina.
- [REGINA.]
Digital currency is the future.
[PATTY.]
What? Bob, what are you doing? - Nobody can see us together.
- [REGINA.]
Don't drive away! Dick! Oh, I know that car.
I know that Bob Armstrong car, looking all leased and fancy.
I see you.
- Oh, my God.
Christian's body! - I see you, Bob Armstrong! What - in the hell, Regina?! - Oh! What in the hell yourself.
I have been hustling all over town trying to find investors for your wife's Tampazzle idea.
- Do you know what I found out? - Don't know.
Don't care.
She stole my business plan! Hmm.
Super not my problem.
Oh, no.
Nothing ever is.
Like me losing my house, or Dixie running away.
Karma is a bitch.
[SHOUTS.]
That's my good tit! - [ENGINE STARTS.]
- Ugh! Damn it! Damn you! Fine! Fine! Thank you! I am living my best life.
Thank you, bottom.
There's only going up from here! [BARNARD.]
I'm sorry.
I didn't know you wanted our three-way to end up in a throuple, and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry I ruined your marriage.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Stop apologizing.
If I was mad at you, I wouldn't have stayed.
And I'm sorry for making you feel like a whore.
Wait, who said I felt like a whore? Didn't you? Shit, did I just make this worse? No, it's okay.
Thanks for sharing my breakup with me.
Bob Breakup Barnard.
[LAUGHS.]
[CHUCKLING.]
- Oh! - Shit! Sorry about that.
You did that on purpose.
Now, why would I do that on purpose? Oh, that just never really does get old.
[BOB BARNARD SIGHS.]
I could stay.
Mmm! I'm gay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I don't mind.
[BOTH MOANING.]
What? What? What? No, I just I meant I can't do this.
Wait, we just had sex last night.
Were you not gay then? No, that was different.
Bob was there.
No, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You are beautiful and sexy and amazing.
But But I'm a man who needs rules.
And now that I'm an out gay man, there's certain things I can't do, like wear pleated pants, and listen to the Eagles, and have sex with women.
Okay.
Really? Well, you seemed pretty into these last night.
- Well, yeah, who wouldn't be? - A homosexual.
- Maybe you're bi! - No! No.
Okay, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna get an Uber.
- Wait, don't.
Coralee, don't.
- It's okay.
Please, no.
I really, really don't want to be alone tonight.
Please stay.
As friends.
Well, I have always wanted a gay bestie.
No, I know, sweetheart.
You married yours.
- Don't be a bitch, Bob.
- [EXHALES.]
[PATTY.]
Are we going the right way? I don't know.
My GPS isn't working, and Regina's got me all rattled.
You really don't think she saw anything back there in the trunk? For the millionth time, I don't know.
You were there.
I don't think she saw anything.
If she saw something, she would say something.
Fuck Stella Rose.
We need to get rid of this body now.
No! Christian is dead.
Stella Rose might still be alive, which makes her the bigger threat.
- We gotta stick to the plan.
- Which is what? - Huh? - The plan, when we find Stella Rose.
Are we gonna have to finish the job? Finish the job You mean, like, kill her? - I'm just saying.
- No.
It was your idea to go look for Stella Rose.
Why would we be looking for someone who's trying to kill me? - Shit, I am so bad at this.
- Pig.
- Okay, there is no need for name calling.
- No.
Pig, pig, pig, pig! - [TIRES SCREECHING.]
- [BOB ARMSTRONG SHOUTS.]
You all right? Oh, shit.
The trunk.
[PIG SNORTING.]
Run, run, run, run, run, r-r-run Till you're done, done, done, done Run, run, run, run, run, r-r-run Till you're done, done, done, done Oh.
Oh.
- [GASPS.]
- [PIGS SNORTING.]
[BOB.]
Well, on the plus side, they will eat everything.
Bones and all.
[GAGS.]
Great.
Can we leave now? We'll go.
Oh We gotta wait for them to finish, just to be sure.
[SNARLS.]
In the car.
Let's wait in the car.
Break! And you're back for more Mama, I don't know where you are or why you haven't called me back, but regionals are tomorrow.
I need to know if you've dropped the bomb on Bob Armstrong yet so I know how to play things with Dad Bob.
He still thinks he coaching me, and I don't I'm not coaching you? What? You just said, "He still thinks he's coaching me.
" Who are you talking to? Stella Rose.
- I thought you weren't speaking to her.
- I I wasn't.
Are you just using me to help her get back at Bob Armstrong? So what if I was? I opened up my home to you.
Don't you dare try and make me the bad guy.
- You never really wanted a relationship with me anyway.
- Yes, I did.
Then why didn't you try to find me before the truth came out? Well, you're right.
And I am sorry.
Don't be.
I didn't need you before, and I don't need you now, as a coach or a father.
Just forget I ever even existed.
Hey.
Roxy I fell asleep on the couch.
I heard arguing.
Magnolia? Roxy.
I'm a horrible father.
Wait, did Magnolia ever come home last night? - Magnolia isn't picking up her phone.
- [SIGHS.]
- I'm calling the police.
- Calm down.
What time was her curfew? - Midnight.
- Okay, it's only been a couple hours.
Maybe she's just letting off some steam.
You said you got into a fight yesterday.
What was it about? She wanted to get back into pageants.
I told her no, to try to keep her sober, and maybe I accidentally pushed her off the wagon.
No, don't do that to yourself.
If she's using again, she would have reached out to her dealer, Christian Keene.
Let me see if I can find his number.
[PIGS SNORTING.]
[PATTY.]
Watching those pigs should have made me feel sick, but instead, I felt hungry.
All I knew was when my mouth wasn't chewing, my mind started spinning, and I couldn't think about all the things I had done.
Do you have any emergency snacks in here? [BOB.]
No, there's nothing in there.
You said you tried to kill yourself.
- [SIGHS.]
- Twice.
Why? The first time was when Regina accused me.
Coaching is my calling, and when I stopped being able to do that, I just [SIGHS.]
It seemed like my life was over anyway, so But then you called, and you gave me hope.
So then, the second time? Don't.
It's more complicated.
It's grown-up stuff.
Oh, it's grown-up stuff.
Getting rid of a body is a Disney show.
I had a threesome with Bob and Coralee.
Oh.
Yeah.
[LAUGHS.]
Didn't work out.
Like, physically or Emotionally.
I wanted the three of us to make a life together, but they wanted me to choose one or the other, and I-I just I just couldn't.
Huh.
What? Nothing.
Patty Tell me.
I just figured you would choose Bob.
Why? Because he saw the thing in you that you couldn't see for yourself.
That's what you did for me.
I need you, no matter what happens.
Please stay alive.
Please.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
It's not mine.
Not mine either.
[RINGING CONTINUES.]
Christian's! [RINGING CONTINUES.]
Why would Magnolia be calling the guy who tried to kill her? - Wouldn't she just call the police? - Oh, God.
If she does that, we're screwed.
Not necessarily.
Technically, Magnolia didn't see anything incriminating.
She just saw me hit him once, and then she ran.
Unless she saw more.
All right.
All right.
I'll go to Barnard's and suss out what Magnolia told him.
In the meantime, you get yourself to regionals choreography.
Now you care about regionals? If you don't show up, it will look suspicious.
What about Christian's car? We left it in the woods.
The sun is coming up soon.
We can't risk being seen driving it.
We'll have to wait until it gets dark again, after regionals.
- Now, get rid of that.
- Wait.
I could send texts from it as Christian.
I mean, he's run away before.
He could have done it again.
And that way, his parents won't be looking for him.
That is smart, and I don't like it.
Covering up a crime is not an approved pageant activity.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that not what we've been doing here all night? Give me a heads up, let me know where the line is.
All right.
All right.
[WOMAN.]
I'm not sure I can eat this.
I don't really do sugar.
It's fine.
Troy just needs us to help him come up with a name for their new breakfast menu.
A waffle taco.
Or a sausage waffle.
Or a sausage taco.
Ew.
So, the Weenmobile is back.
Patty left an apology note, but she ate all the fudgy wieners, and it's a complete mess.
I think she has a problem.
I'd say she has a few.
Dee! I'm just saying.
Wasn't life easier during the 20 minutes you guys weren't friends? It's always so much drama.
Dude, maybe get to know her 'cause she's sorta the most amazing girl I've ever met.
Okay, does everyone have a crush on Patty? Who else has a crush on her? Do you still have a crush on her? Oh.
Somebody's jealous.
Why would Nonnie be jealous? Because she's in love with Patty.
Was in love with Patty.
Past tense.
Okay, wait.
Nonnie, you're gay? Dee and I are a couple.
Oh.
Let's talk about you and Patty.
Do you want to get back together with her or no? Yeah.
Just don't know if she's still into me.
You just have to do a grand, romantic gesture.
You know, like in the movies when someone does something really romantic to win back their person? Yes.
I love that.
Okay, this is great.
Um You got any ideas? I may have just the thing.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
Helping Patty was a catastrophe, but covering up a murder still felt easier than thinking about Bob and Coralee.
As soon as I returned to the scene of this crime, all the feelings came flooding back.
[BOB BARNARD.]
Bob? - What the hell are you doing? - I just I came to pick up my stuff.
Well, you should've called.
I'm so sorry.
For everything.
For putting you in a bad position, - for taking you for granted.
- Bob, it's not a good time.
You saw something in me that I couldn't see myself, and I was just scared of leaving my old life behind, but now I'm even more scared of losing you.
[CORALEE.]
Good to know.
Coralee, what are you doing here? It doesn't matter.
I'm leaving.
You'll be hearing from my attorney.
Coralee, don't.
Please.
Why? So you can have the option of falling back on your second choice? No, that's not what I said.
That's not what I meant.
No.
No, thank you.
[CORALEE.]
He's all yours.
You can have him.
- You should go.
- No.
Can we just talk? - Please.
- Bob, I can't do this right now.
Magnolia's missing.
Wait.
What? Well, have you called Etta Mae? She hasn't heard from her, either.
We just filed a missing person's report.
Well, do you want me to help you look for her? What I want you to do is leave.
[BOB.]
I could have let Patty know that Magnolia had gone missing, but she needed to focus on regionals, and I needed to do something to deal with my roller coaster of emotions.
Patty had food, and I was gonna try and break a sweat.
I would have done anything to make this pain go away, including becoming a giant cliché.
Feeling your eyes don't miss a beat I don't wanna wait for the sun Come on I don't wanna talk I already know you're my number one Can't take you off my brain It's like ooh-na-na, baby, ooh, na-na! You make me go insane I'm gonna back it up Can't take you off my brain Bring the body out [SIGHS.]
Here It's Drew Barrymore's book.
I got it signed for Patty last night.
Tell her it's from you.
Nonnie, I can't.
This is very thoughtful of you.
Exactly, which is why when you give it to Patty, she'll think you're the most thoughtful guy in the world.
Seriously, take it.
[PHONE BUZZES.]
My mom has called, like, five times since this morning, and I'm sure she wants to process what we saw last night.
I still don't think it was a three-way.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! Brick, your mom had a three-way? Two girls? Two guys? - Three girls? - Two guys.
- [PHONE BUZZES.]
- Bummer.
She says Magnolia is missing.
- Who's Magnolia? - My ex.
Black Regina George? From Miss Magic Jesus? - The girl Patty stole you from? - She didn't steal me.
Didn't Patty say she was hanging out with her last night? - Maybe she knows where she is.
- Isn't she at regionals? Well, text her, see if she gets back to you.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
[PATTY.]
It was a complicated question, and I didn't really have time to construct an appropriate answer.
Oh.
Pastries! Patty? How'd you get out? Wouldn't you like to know? Where's my mom? You haven't heard from her? - No.
Why? - I don't know.
I just thought she would call you after she tried to kill me.
- She tried to kill you? - Like you didn't know.
No! Did you go to the police? I can't because Stella Rose has that video of me trying to kidnap you.
Or you're lying, just to throw me off my pageant game.
I'm gonna text her right now.
You do that.
The later you are, the better I'll look.
[WINCES.]
And out with the arm.
Step, step, look to the right.
Left arm up.
Look.
You Queens arrive on time, you dig? Take it again from the top for Her Tardiness.
I'm happy to show her the steps so we don't slow everyone down.
Thanks, Heather Christina Pamela Kendall.
That'd be very generous.
Well, a queen always helps another queen fix her crown.
[PATTY.]
Looked like Roxy wouldn't be my only problem.
[LAUGHS.]
Sorry, Heather Christina Pamela Kendall? That's your actual name? Heather Christina Pamela Kendall Jackson Johnson.
And you better remember it 'cause I'm gonna be the next Miss American Lady.
Now try and keep up, bitch.
A one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I hoped a steamy steam room encounter would make me feel better, but I felt even worse.
And once again, I was in my car all alone.
There was just one thing left to do.
Wardrobe, accessories, shoes, plus I typed up some mock interview questions.
Had to make up for not coaching you for regionals.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
What are you eating? Oh, nothing.
Um, I got a welcome basket of pastries.
They gave all of the girls one.
They were all different kinds, so I had to try them all.
[PHONE BUZZES AND CHIMES.]
- Everything okay? - Uh, I don't know.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I didn't remember, but I had been emotionally distressed.
[GASPS.]
Hey, superstar.
You came! You all came! - Hi.
- Hi.
[LAUGHING.]
I'm good.
Brick brought you something for good luck.
Here, this is from me.
- Oh.
- He got it signed for you at the book signing.
I-I-I don't know what to say.
This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.
Thank you.
It's perfect.
Can I take you out after the pageant, - like on a real date? - I would like that a lot.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I wouldn't.
The last guy she dated, she killed.
- Hey, did you get my text about Magnolia? - [BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I should have told her.
Yeah.
No, I was rehearsing.
She's been missing since last night.
What? Missing? What happened? You were supposed to meet up with her.
Yeah, but no, she I mean, she never showed up.
And then I messaged her.
I never heard from her all night at all.
That's weird I'm sorry.
Oh! Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
Patty needs to focus, so we will see you guys after the show, okay? Got it.
Break a leg.
- But don't really.
That would suck.
- [LAUGHS.]
[BOTH.]
Bye.
Nope.
Still good.
- [NONNIE.]
We're out.
- [BOB ARMSTRONG.]
Okay, and we're going.
Why would you say that? That Magnolia never showed? Because now that she's missing, everything is different.
- You should have told me.
- No, you should have stuck to the plan.
Now, when she does come back and she says that you two did meet, they'll know you're a liar.
They'll get suspicious of us, and then we'll both go down - for covering up her murder.
- I'm sorry! Brick makes me nervous.
Also, shouldn't you be happy that I'm not good at this? [GROANS.]
Not happy.
Panicked! If this is going to work, you and I have to keep our stories straight.
Have you seen Roxy? Has she talked to Stella Rose? Not as far as I can tell.
- Two minutes till open number.
- Thank you.
Okay, so I will sneak back in here when you guys are on stage, and I'll try to find Roxy's cell phone to see if they've been in contact.
- Okay.
- [GROANS.]
My blood sugar's low.
It is not after eating that entire basket.
It is not.
The basket was already half empty when I got here.
Patty, don't lie to me.
You're monitoring my calorie intake? Today? Really? Today, we need to focus on something positive, like winning that pageant.
Positive, like the pageant.
Are you kidding? I killed someone.
The crown is your future.
You go out there, you look pretty, and you win.
Lord knows we could both use a victory.
Welcome to this year's Miss Northeastern Georgia Dreams Pageant.
[CHEERING, SHOUTING.]
And now, please welcome our regional contestants.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
I believe [PATTY.]
On the outside, I did as Bob suggested.
But on the inside, I was obsessing.
Not about the pageant or the competition, not even about Stella Rose or Christian.
All I could think about were those pastries.
When I was eating, all the bad things I'd done went away.
I'm a dreamer A dreamer [VOCALIZING.]
Dreamer [MUSIC CONTINUING FAINTLY.]
[PATTY.]
I couldn't wait to get back to the dressing room so I could have some time to myself.
What are you doing here? - I have to change.
- I found Roxy's phone.
She texted Stella Rose.
She said, "Patty's here.
- Call me back or I'll call the police.
" - And did Stella Rose respond? No, but there was a read receipt.
So Stella Rose is still alive.
Or someone is using her phone.
- No, no.
- What are you doing? Eating never solved anybody's problems.
Oh, really? Because those pigs eating Christian sure solved that problem.
Okay.
All right.
I get it.
You're stressed.
No shit! It's been a terrible day.
I just want a treat.
It's just food! It's not like I'm killing anyone.
You are hurting yourself.
This is just what girls do, okay? You see it all the time in TV and movies.
They're upset, then they eat, and then they're better.
But that is not real life.
Look When I shot up six inches in high school, got skinny, hmm? I decided to make a change, so I started to control my portions.
I started to exercise, you know, eat better.
That kind of thing.
I thought you said overeating was a slippery slope for you.
It is, which is why I stopped doing it.
You just stopped? - That's it? - Yes.
And so can you.
It's easy.
I mean, you just put that note on your refrigerator.
You snap that rubber band on your wrist.
Great, 'cause those things work.
Are you saying you can't stop? No, I can stop.
I've stopped a bunch of times.
It's just You know how it is.
You want to eat something that you know you shouldn't, so you don't.
Then all you can think about is that thing, and it's so loud.
So you break down and you eat it, and then you just eat everything else until you hate yourself enough to finally stop.
Everyone goes through that.
I don't think everyone does.
Listen, Patty, have you talked to anyone about this? I mean, besides me? [SCOFFS.]
You kidding? I've been on diets since I was eight.
I mean like a therapist? What does a therapist have to do with my weight? This isn't about your weight, Patty.
[STAMMERING.]
Maybe it never was.
Five minutes.
[SIGHS.]
It doesn't matter, okay? I can stop anytime I want.
[PATTY.]
There it is.
See? I'm fine.
Now go, please.
I need to change.
[BOB BARNARD.]
I'm starting to get desperate.
Maybe we should go back to your place, in case Magnolia comes home.
Sitting around is just gonna make me even more crazy.
Thank you.
Thank you for helping me through today.
With Etta Mae gone so much, most of the time, I feel like a single parent.
Well, no one should have to go through this alone.
What about you? Me? I'm fine.
I mean, Brick is safe and sound, and I mean about Bob.
[SIGHS.]
Let's talk about you.
We don't have to talk about me.
But I want to.
I can't.
I'm afraid I'll just start crying.
Hey, guys.
Need anything else? Not unless you've seen or heard from Magnolia.
My guess is she's at the regionals pageant.
- Everyone's there.
- Why didn't we think of that? - Okay, I'll drive.
- No worries.
I'll just clean this right up.
I was always brought up believing that the higher the hair, the closer to God.
But when I woke up with a giant chunk of hair missing, I felt like I'd lost my connection to the heavenly father, which is why I decided to raise money for the National Alopecia Areata Foundation.
[PATTY.]
I had tried it before, pouring water or cayenne pepper or soap over my food.
It hadn't ever worked.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING.]
[PATTY.]
And this time was no different.
I hardly even tasted any of it.
I just felt disgusting.
And now all I could taste was my shame.
Now please welcome to the stage Miss Bareback Buckaroo, Roxy Graham.
Roxy, please tell us about your decision to become an ambassador for the Center for Anal Cancer Awareness.
Why are you the face of CACA? Everyone thinks anal cancer is just a joke, so they either make fun of it or ignore it.
But most importantly, my mom had anal cancer.
[PATTY.]
She was lying.
Stella Rose didn't have cancer.
So I felt like this was the best way to honor her memory.
Please welcome to the stage Miss Magic Jesus, Patty Bladell.
[CHEERING.]
Patty, I see your platform is focused on eating disorder awareness.
How do you view your own relationship to food and body? [PATTY.]
I wanted to tell them the truth, that my relationship with food was messed up.
That I hated myself now more than ever.
That I wanted to eat right there on that stage.
[ANNOUNCER.]
Patty.
[PATTY.]
But if Roxy could bullshit the judges, maybe I could, too.
Maybe I couldn't just stop eating like Bob had, but I could pretend we were the same for the sake of my future.
[PATTY.]
Well, I struggled with food and body my whole life.
But then I started to treat myself better, and I want every young girl out there to know that they can, too.
They can just decide to change and get better and have an amazing life, like me.
Thank you.
[APPLAUSE.]
[WOMAN.]
Let's give a round of applause for our second runner-up Hey, excuse me.
Have you seen this girl? Shh! They're about to announce the winner.
[PATTY.]
It was down to just me and Roxy.
Both of us felons, but only one would be queen.
And now for the moment that you've all been waiting for.
It is with great pleasure that I announce our first runner-up.
Miss Magic Jesus, - Patty Bladell.
- [AUDIENCE SHOUTING AND APPLAUDING.]
[WOMAN.]
Which means that the winner of this year's Miss Northeastern Georgia Dreams Pageant goes to Miss Bareback Buckaroo, Roxy Graham! [SCREAMS.]
[WOMAN.]
You are going to stay to compete in this year's Miss Georgia American Lady.
On top of the world tonight [PATTY.]
Bob had told me the crown was my future.
It was my only chance to move on.
But now I had no hope.
And there weren't enough pastries in the world to make me forget how I felt about myself.
And how I felt was sick.
On top of the world tonight Hey, have you guys seen Patty? - Think she's okay? - She's fine.
She's been through worse.
[BOB ARMSTRONG SIGHS.]
Exactly why I was concerned.
Without the crown, I was scared that Patty would go entirely off the rails.
I'm gonna go see if I can find Patty in her dressing room.
Have you seen Anyone? No? - Okay.
- Thank you.
I can't believe Roxy won.
You know what? Maybe you should congratulate her.
Apologize.
Clear the air.
Well, as soon as we find Magnolia.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Do you have any gum or mints? I have a bad taste.
Hey, it's okay.
I mean, you might be first runner-up, but you were always my number one.
Patty, are you okay? Patty, I was looking all over for you.
What happened? [SNIFFLES.]
Brick, can we have a moment just, you know, - coach and client? - Yeah.
Sure.
Let me know when you're done.
I still want to take you out.
Yeah.
Honey, what took you so long? Nothing.
Patty, don't lie to me.
I was throwing up.
Throwing up? Are you sick? From the pastries.
Did you eat them out of the trash? Oh! [SNIFFLES.]
I miss my mom.
I know.
I know, but I'm here.
It's gonna be okay.
No.
No, nothing can help me.
Nothing can change who I am and what I've done.
Like you said, the crown was my future, and I lost.
I lost it.
That's why I have nothing, and I am nothing, and I am broken, and I am a pig.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Don't ever, ever talk like that about yourself, okay? Look, we will get through this, I promise.
[PATTY.]
I wanted to believe him, that by some miracle, I could still move on.
[BOB BARNARD.]
Magnolia! Magnolia Oh, sweetheart, where have you been? [PATTY.]
And then it happened.
[WOMAN SCREAMS.]
Premonition, all the light from worlds apart All your stories and your pipe dreams Came to life for me in moments after dark Saw you sleeping in my nightmares Premonition, all the light from worlds apart All your stories and your pipe dreams Came to life for me in moments after dark [PATTY.]
With Roxy dead, the crown would go to the runner-up.
Me.
Came to life for me in moments after dark
- [ANIMALS HOWLING.]
[SIZZLING.]
[PIG SQUEALS.]
I used to love him But I had to kill him I had to put him Oh Six feet under And I can still hear him complain [GROANS.]
What the fuck? [STAMMERING.]
This has been the worst day ever! I should have killed myself! I mean, like, what else could possibly go wrong? Well I may have also sorta killed Stella Rose.
- Seriously? - You don't understand.
She had me handcuffed to the Weenmobile.
I had to escape using fudgey wiener cream.
Stella Rose was trying to asphyxiate me and play it off as a suicide and blame it on you.
- [ENGINE TURNS OVER.]
- So I did what I had to do.
- [RUMBLES.]
- [GASPS.]
I ran her over.
Twice.
And then I got the hell out of there.
Bob, say something.
Okay, we are gonna get through this.
[EXHALES.]
We've just gotta stay calm.
I killed two people, Bob.
Two.
Yeah, two crazy people.
Christian was trying to turn you into a murderer, and Stella Rose was trying to kill you.
[SIGHS.]
Maybe I should just turn myself in.
No! You said it yourself, it was self-defense.
Yeah, but a jury might not see it that way.
So I'm fucked.
I'm totally, totally fucked.
You are not fucked because I am going to help you.
Why? I deserve to be punished.
I did horrible things.
But you also saved my life twice.
Maybe all of this was meant to be.
You think that me trying to kidnap Roxy - Hola! - [SHOUTS.]
- but getting kidnapped first - [GUNSHOT.]
and killing Stella Rose and then killing Christian That was all fate? Well, no.
Uh I was thinking that you were supposed to stop me from killing myself, and then it was my turn to help you, but what if two dead bodies are the best thing that ever happened to us? What if we can blame their deaths on each other? We can take Christian's body, go back to Stella Rose.
We can stage a crime scene.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
So all we would need to do is get Stella Rose's fingerprints on that crowbar without leaving any hair or fibers behind.
Nonnie made me watch all eight seasons of Dexter.
Hmm.
That explains so much.
Okay, so what would Dexter Morgan do? [PATTY.]
What the hell? [BOB ARMSTRONG.]
Huh? [PATTY.]
I left her right here.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
What? Stella Rose I left her right here.
Are you sure? I think so.
Yes! Yeah.
See? That's the hose.
That's the one Stella Rose tried to asphyxiate me with.
Are you fucking kidding me? - Is she still alive? Where did she go? - I thought you said to stay calm.
Yeah, that was before when I thought she was dead! It was bad enough when I thought you killed her.
This is way worse.
She could still be coming after you.
We have to find her.
You got something in your caboodle that can track crazy? No, we start by calling all the hospitals and morgues, see if somebody showed up.
Shouldn't we get rid of Christian's body first? We'll take it with us.
We will go back to my car.
We will find a place to ditch the body.
What about the murder weapon and Christian's car? Stop asking me questions! We will deal with all of that later.
Come on! A little help.
Okay, I've called all of the hospitals and morgues within 25 miles.
No one has anyone fitting Stella Rose's description.
Shit! - Now what? - How should I know? I'm a lawyer, not a killer.
Hmm.
No offense, sorry.
Maybe she wasn't as injured as I thought that she was, and Could she have just gone home? Maybe.
I mean, she lives a couple hours outside of town.
We could go check.
Wait.
Stop! Over there! - [BOB.]
You see something? - Yeah! Yeah.
[GASPS.]
I'm starving.
I had never eaten like this in front of anyone except for Nonnie, but these were extreme circumstances.
Patty, slow down.
You're gonna make yourself sick.
[PATTY.]
Better sick than what I was feeling.
Just let me eat these burgers, then we can bury the effin' body, okay? Honest, like, what does it even matter what I eat anyway? I thought once I lost weight, my life would be amazing.
Joke's on me.
Now I'm thin, and I'm a killer.
You're not a killer.
You are a girl who was holding onto a lot of rage.
But now that it is out, you can let it go.
You can move on, have a fresh start.
You really think that's possible? It is if we could just - get through tonight.
- [HORN BEEPING.]
If you don't got cash, that's cool.
- Oh! - [REGINA.]
I take Venmo! - Crap! Get down.
It's Regina.
- [REGINA.]
Digital currency is the future.
[PATTY.]
What? Bob, what are you doing? - Nobody can see us together.
- [REGINA.]
Don't drive away! Dick! Oh, I know that car.
I know that Bob Armstrong car, looking all leased and fancy.
I see you.
- Oh, my God.
Christian's body! - I see you, Bob Armstrong! What - in the hell, Regina?! - Oh! What in the hell yourself.
I have been hustling all over town trying to find investors for your wife's Tampazzle idea.
- Do you know what I found out? - Don't know.
Don't care.
She stole my business plan! Hmm.
Super not my problem.
Oh, no.
Nothing ever is.
Like me losing my house, or Dixie running away.
Karma is a bitch.
[SHOUTS.]
That's my good tit! - [ENGINE STARTS.]
- Ugh! Damn it! Damn you! Fine! Fine! Thank you! I am living my best life.
Thank you, bottom.
There's only going up from here! [BARNARD.]
I'm sorry.
I didn't know you wanted our three-way to end up in a throuple, and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry I ruined your marriage.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Stop apologizing.
If I was mad at you, I wouldn't have stayed.
And I'm sorry for making you feel like a whore.
Wait, who said I felt like a whore? Didn't you? Shit, did I just make this worse? No, it's okay.
Thanks for sharing my breakup with me.
Bob Breakup Barnard.
[LAUGHS.]
[CHUCKLING.]
- Oh! - Shit! Sorry about that.
You did that on purpose.
Now, why would I do that on purpose? Oh, that just never really does get old.
[BOB BARNARD SIGHS.]
I could stay.
Mmm! I'm gay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I don't mind.
[BOTH MOANING.]
What? What? What? No, I just I meant I can't do this.
Wait, we just had sex last night.
Were you not gay then? No, that was different.
Bob was there.
No, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You are beautiful and sexy and amazing.
But But I'm a man who needs rules.
And now that I'm an out gay man, there's certain things I can't do, like wear pleated pants, and listen to the Eagles, and have sex with women.
Okay.
Really? Well, you seemed pretty into these last night.
- Well, yeah, who wouldn't be? - A homosexual.
- Maybe you're bi! - No! No.
Okay, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna get an Uber.
- Wait, don't.
Coralee, don't.
- It's okay.
Please, no.
I really, really don't want to be alone tonight.
Please stay.
As friends.
Well, I have always wanted a gay bestie.
No, I know, sweetheart.
You married yours.
- Don't be a bitch, Bob.
- [EXHALES.]
[PATTY.]
Are we going the right way? I don't know.
My GPS isn't working, and Regina's got me all rattled.
You really don't think she saw anything back there in the trunk? For the millionth time, I don't know.
You were there.
I don't think she saw anything.
If she saw something, she would say something.
Fuck Stella Rose.
We need to get rid of this body now.
No! Christian is dead.
Stella Rose might still be alive, which makes her the bigger threat.
- We gotta stick to the plan.
- Which is what? - Huh? - The plan, when we find Stella Rose.
Are we gonna have to finish the job? Finish the job You mean, like, kill her? - I'm just saying.
- No.
It was your idea to go look for Stella Rose.
Why would we be looking for someone who's trying to kill me? - Shit, I am so bad at this.
- Pig.
- Okay, there is no need for name calling.
- No.
Pig, pig, pig, pig! - [TIRES SCREECHING.]
- [BOB ARMSTRONG SHOUTS.]
You all right? Oh, shit.
The trunk.
[PIG SNORTING.]
Run, run, run, run, run, r-r-run Till you're done, done, done, done Run, run, run, run, run, r-r-run Till you're done, done, done, done Oh.
Oh.
- [GASPS.]
- [PIGS SNORTING.]
[BOB.]
Well, on the plus side, they will eat everything.
Bones and all.
[GAGS.]
Great.
Can we leave now? We'll go.
Oh We gotta wait for them to finish, just to be sure.
[SNARLS.]
In the car.
Let's wait in the car.
Break! And you're back for more Mama, I don't know where you are or why you haven't called me back, but regionals are tomorrow.
I need to know if you've dropped the bomb on Bob Armstrong yet so I know how to play things with Dad Bob.
He still thinks he coaching me, and I don't I'm not coaching you? What? You just said, "He still thinks he's coaching me.
" Who are you talking to? Stella Rose.
- I thought you weren't speaking to her.
- I I wasn't.
Are you just using me to help her get back at Bob Armstrong? So what if I was? I opened up my home to you.
Don't you dare try and make me the bad guy.
- You never really wanted a relationship with me anyway.
- Yes, I did.
Then why didn't you try to find me before the truth came out? Well, you're right.
And I am sorry.
Don't be.
I didn't need you before, and I don't need you now, as a coach or a father.
Just forget I ever even existed.
Hey.
Roxy I fell asleep on the couch.
I heard arguing.
Magnolia? Roxy.
I'm a horrible father.
Wait, did Magnolia ever come home last night? - Magnolia isn't picking up her phone.
- [SIGHS.]
- I'm calling the police.
- Calm down.
What time was her curfew? - Midnight.
- Okay, it's only been a couple hours.
Maybe she's just letting off some steam.
You said you got into a fight yesterday.
What was it about? She wanted to get back into pageants.
I told her no, to try to keep her sober, and maybe I accidentally pushed her off the wagon.
No, don't do that to yourself.
If she's using again, she would have reached out to her dealer, Christian Keene.
Let me see if I can find his number.
[PIGS SNORTING.]
[PATTY.]
Watching those pigs should have made me feel sick, but instead, I felt hungry.
All I knew was when my mouth wasn't chewing, my mind started spinning, and I couldn't think about all the things I had done.
Do you have any emergency snacks in here? [BOB.]
No, there's nothing in there.
You said you tried to kill yourself.
- [SIGHS.]
- Twice.
Why? The first time was when Regina accused me.
Coaching is my calling, and when I stopped being able to do that, I just [SIGHS.]
It seemed like my life was over anyway, so But then you called, and you gave me hope.
So then, the second time? Don't.
It's more complicated.
It's grown-up stuff.
Oh, it's grown-up stuff.
Getting rid of a body is a Disney show.
I had a threesome with Bob and Coralee.
Oh.
Yeah.
[LAUGHS.]
Didn't work out.
Like, physically or Emotionally.
I wanted the three of us to make a life together, but they wanted me to choose one or the other, and I-I just I just couldn't.
Huh.
What? Nothing.
Patty Tell me.
I just figured you would choose Bob.
Why? Because he saw the thing in you that you couldn't see for yourself.
That's what you did for me.
I need you, no matter what happens.
Please stay alive.
Please.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
It's not mine.
Not mine either.
[RINGING CONTINUES.]
Christian's! [RINGING CONTINUES.]
Why would Magnolia be calling the guy who tried to kill her? - Wouldn't she just call the police? - Oh, God.
If she does that, we're screwed.
Not necessarily.
Technically, Magnolia didn't see anything incriminating.
She just saw me hit him once, and then she ran.
Unless she saw more.
All right.
All right.
I'll go to Barnard's and suss out what Magnolia told him.
In the meantime, you get yourself to regionals choreography.
Now you care about regionals? If you don't show up, it will look suspicious.
What about Christian's car? We left it in the woods.
The sun is coming up soon.
We can't risk being seen driving it.
We'll have to wait until it gets dark again, after regionals.
- Now, get rid of that.
- Wait.
I could send texts from it as Christian.
I mean, he's run away before.
He could have done it again.
And that way, his parents won't be looking for him.
That is smart, and I don't like it.
Covering up a crime is not an approved pageant activity.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that not what we've been doing here all night? Give me a heads up, let me know where the line is.
All right.
All right.
[WOMAN.]
I'm not sure I can eat this.
I don't really do sugar.
It's fine.
Troy just needs us to help him come up with a name for their new breakfast menu.
A waffle taco.
Or a sausage waffle.
Or a sausage taco.
Ew.
So, the Weenmobile is back.
Patty left an apology note, but she ate all the fudgy wieners, and it's a complete mess.
I think she has a problem.
I'd say she has a few.
Dee! I'm just saying.
Wasn't life easier during the 20 minutes you guys weren't friends? It's always so much drama.
Dude, maybe get to know her 'cause she's sorta the most amazing girl I've ever met.
Okay, does everyone have a crush on Patty? Who else has a crush on her? Do you still have a crush on her? Oh.
Somebody's jealous.
Why would Nonnie be jealous? Because she's in love with Patty.
Was in love with Patty.
Past tense.
Okay, wait.
Nonnie, you're gay? Dee and I are a couple.
Oh.
Let's talk about you and Patty.
Do you want to get back together with her or no? Yeah.
Just don't know if she's still into me.
You just have to do a grand, romantic gesture.
You know, like in the movies when someone does something really romantic to win back their person? Yes.
I love that.
Okay, this is great.
Um You got any ideas? I may have just the thing.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
Helping Patty was a catastrophe, but covering up a murder still felt easier than thinking about Bob and Coralee.
As soon as I returned to the scene of this crime, all the feelings came flooding back.
[BOB BARNARD.]
Bob? - What the hell are you doing? - I just I came to pick up my stuff.
Well, you should've called.
I'm so sorry.
For everything.
For putting you in a bad position, - for taking you for granted.
- Bob, it's not a good time.
You saw something in me that I couldn't see myself, and I was just scared of leaving my old life behind, but now I'm even more scared of losing you.
[CORALEE.]
Good to know.
Coralee, what are you doing here? It doesn't matter.
I'm leaving.
You'll be hearing from my attorney.
Coralee, don't.
Please.
Why? So you can have the option of falling back on your second choice? No, that's not what I said.
That's not what I meant.
No.
No, thank you.
[CORALEE.]
He's all yours.
You can have him.
- You should go.
- No.
Can we just talk? - Please.
- Bob, I can't do this right now.
Magnolia's missing.
Wait.
What? Well, have you called Etta Mae? She hasn't heard from her, either.
We just filed a missing person's report.
Well, do you want me to help you look for her? What I want you to do is leave.
[BOB.]
I could have let Patty know that Magnolia had gone missing, but she needed to focus on regionals, and I needed to do something to deal with my roller coaster of emotions.
Patty had food, and I was gonna try and break a sweat.
I would have done anything to make this pain go away, including becoming a giant cliché.
Feeling your eyes don't miss a beat I don't wanna wait for the sun Come on I don't wanna talk I already know you're my number one Can't take you off my brain It's like ooh-na-na, baby, ooh, na-na! You make me go insane I'm gonna back it up Can't take you off my brain Bring the body out [SIGHS.]
Here It's Drew Barrymore's book.
I got it signed for Patty last night.
Tell her it's from you.
Nonnie, I can't.
This is very thoughtful of you.
Exactly, which is why when you give it to Patty, she'll think you're the most thoughtful guy in the world.
Seriously, take it.
[PHONE BUZZES.]
My mom has called, like, five times since this morning, and I'm sure she wants to process what we saw last night.
I still don't think it was a three-way.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! Brick, your mom had a three-way? Two girls? Two guys? - Three girls? - Two guys.
- [PHONE BUZZES.]
- Bummer.
She says Magnolia is missing.
- Who's Magnolia? - My ex.
Black Regina George? From Miss Magic Jesus? - The girl Patty stole you from? - She didn't steal me.
Didn't Patty say she was hanging out with her last night? - Maybe she knows where she is.
- Isn't she at regionals? Well, text her, see if she gets back to you.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
[PATTY.]
It was a complicated question, and I didn't really have time to construct an appropriate answer.
Oh.
Pastries! Patty? How'd you get out? Wouldn't you like to know? Where's my mom? You haven't heard from her? - No.
Why? - I don't know.
I just thought she would call you after she tried to kill me.
- She tried to kill you? - Like you didn't know.
No! Did you go to the police? I can't because Stella Rose has that video of me trying to kidnap you.
Or you're lying, just to throw me off my pageant game.
I'm gonna text her right now.
You do that.
The later you are, the better I'll look.
[WINCES.]
And out with the arm.
Step, step, look to the right.
Left arm up.
Look.
You Queens arrive on time, you dig? Take it again from the top for Her Tardiness.
I'm happy to show her the steps so we don't slow everyone down.
Thanks, Heather Christina Pamela Kendall.
That'd be very generous.
Well, a queen always helps another queen fix her crown.
[PATTY.]
Looked like Roxy wouldn't be my only problem.
[LAUGHS.]
Sorry, Heather Christina Pamela Kendall? That's your actual name? Heather Christina Pamela Kendall Jackson Johnson.
And you better remember it 'cause I'm gonna be the next Miss American Lady.
Now try and keep up, bitch.
A one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I hoped a steamy steam room encounter would make me feel better, but I felt even worse.
And once again, I was in my car all alone.
There was just one thing left to do.
Wardrobe, accessories, shoes, plus I typed up some mock interview questions.
Had to make up for not coaching you for regionals.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
What are you eating? Oh, nothing.
Um, I got a welcome basket of pastries.
They gave all of the girls one.
They were all different kinds, so I had to try them all.
[PHONE BUZZES AND CHIMES.]
- Everything okay? - Uh, I don't know.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I didn't remember, but I had been emotionally distressed.
[GASPS.]
Hey, superstar.
You came! You all came! - Hi.
- Hi.
[LAUGHING.]
I'm good.
Brick brought you something for good luck.
Here, this is from me.
- Oh.
- He got it signed for you at the book signing.
I-I-I don't know what to say.
This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.
Thank you.
It's perfect.
Can I take you out after the pageant, - like on a real date? - I would like that a lot.
[BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I wouldn't.
The last guy she dated, she killed.
- Hey, did you get my text about Magnolia? - [BOB ARMSTRONG.]
I should have told her.
Yeah.
No, I was rehearsing.
She's been missing since last night.
What? Missing? What happened? You were supposed to meet up with her.
Yeah, but no, she I mean, she never showed up.
And then I messaged her.
I never heard from her all night at all.
That's weird I'm sorry.
Oh! Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
Patty needs to focus, so we will see you guys after the show, okay? Got it.
Break a leg.
- But don't really.
That would suck.
- [LAUGHS.]
[BOTH.]
Bye.
Nope.
Still good.
- [NONNIE.]
We're out.
- [BOB ARMSTRONG.]
Okay, and we're going.
Why would you say that? That Magnolia never showed? Because now that she's missing, everything is different.
- You should have told me.
- No, you should have stuck to the plan.
Now, when she does come back and she says that you two did meet, they'll know you're a liar.
They'll get suspicious of us, and then we'll both go down - for covering up her murder.
- I'm sorry! Brick makes me nervous.
Also, shouldn't you be happy that I'm not good at this? [GROANS.]
Not happy.
Panicked! If this is going to work, you and I have to keep our stories straight.
Have you seen Roxy? Has she talked to Stella Rose? Not as far as I can tell.
- Two minutes till open number.
- Thank you.
Okay, so I will sneak back in here when you guys are on stage, and I'll try to find Roxy's cell phone to see if they've been in contact.
- Okay.
- [GROANS.]
My blood sugar's low.
It is not after eating that entire basket.
It is not.
The basket was already half empty when I got here.
Patty, don't lie to me.
You're monitoring my calorie intake? Today? Really? Today, we need to focus on something positive, like winning that pageant.
Positive, like the pageant.
Are you kidding? I killed someone.
The crown is your future.
You go out there, you look pretty, and you win.
Lord knows we could both use a victory.
Welcome to this year's Miss Northeastern Georgia Dreams Pageant.
[CHEERING, SHOUTING.]
And now, please welcome our regional contestants.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
I believe [PATTY.]
On the outside, I did as Bob suggested.
But on the inside, I was obsessing.
Not about the pageant or the competition, not even about Stella Rose or Christian.
All I could think about were those pastries.
When I was eating, all the bad things I'd done went away.
I'm a dreamer A dreamer [VOCALIZING.]
Dreamer [MUSIC CONTINUING FAINTLY.]
[PATTY.]
I couldn't wait to get back to the dressing room so I could have some time to myself.
What are you doing here? - I have to change.
- I found Roxy's phone.
She texted Stella Rose.
She said, "Patty's here.
- Call me back or I'll call the police.
" - And did Stella Rose respond? No, but there was a read receipt.
So Stella Rose is still alive.
Or someone is using her phone.
- No, no.
- What are you doing? Eating never solved anybody's problems.
Oh, really? Because those pigs eating Christian sure solved that problem.
Okay.
All right.
I get it.
You're stressed.
No shit! It's been a terrible day.
I just want a treat.
It's just food! It's not like I'm killing anyone.
You are hurting yourself.
This is just what girls do, okay? You see it all the time in TV and movies.
They're upset, then they eat, and then they're better.
But that is not real life.
Look When I shot up six inches in high school, got skinny, hmm? I decided to make a change, so I started to control my portions.
I started to exercise, you know, eat better.
That kind of thing.
I thought you said overeating was a slippery slope for you.
It is, which is why I stopped doing it.
You just stopped? - That's it? - Yes.
And so can you.
It's easy.
I mean, you just put that note on your refrigerator.
You snap that rubber band on your wrist.
Great, 'cause those things work.
Are you saying you can't stop? No, I can stop.
I've stopped a bunch of times.
It's just You know how it is.
You want to eat something that you know you shouldn't, so you don't.
Then all you can think about is that thing, and it's so loud.
So you break down and you eat it, and then you just eat everything else until you hate yourself enough to finally stop.
Everyone goes through that.
I don't think everyone does.
Listen, Patty, have you talked to anyone about this? I mean, besides me? [SCOFFS.]
You kidding? I've been on diets since I was eight.
I mean like a therapist? What does a therapist have to do with my weight? This isn't about your weight, Patty.
[STAMMERING.]
Maybe it never was.
Five minutes.
[SIGHS.]
It doesn't matter, okay? I can stop anytime I want.
[PATTY.]
There it is.
See? I'm fine.
Now go, please.
I need to change.
[BOB BARNARD.]
I'm starting to get desperate.
Maybe we should go back to your place, in case Magnolia comes home.
Sitting around is just gonna make me even more crazy.
Thank you.
Thank you for helping me through today.
With Etta Mae gone so much, most of the time, I feel like a single parent.
Well, no one should have to go through this alone.
What about you? Me? I'm fine.
I mean, Brick is safe and sound, and I mean about Bob.
[SIGHS.]
Let's talk about you.
We don't have to talk about me.
But I want to.
I can't.
I'm afraid I'll just start crying.
Hey, guys.
Need anything else? Not unless you've seen or heard from Magnolia.
My guess is she's at the regionals pageant.
- Everyone's there.
- Why didn't we think of that? - Okay, I'll drive.
- No worries.
I'll just clean this right up.
I was always brought up believing that the higher the hair, the closer to God.
But when I woke up with a giant chunk of hair missing, I felt like I'd lost my connection to the heavenly father, which is why I decided to raise money for the National Alopecia Areata Foundation.
[PATTY.]
I had tried it before, pouring water or cayenne pepper or soap over my food.
It hadn't ever worked.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING.]
[PATTY.]
And this time was no different.
I hardly even tasted any of it.
I just felt disgusting.
And now all I could taste was my shame.
Now please welcome to the stage Miss Bareback Buckaroo, Roxy Graham.
Roxy, please tell us about your decision to become an ambassador for the Center for Anal Cancer Awareness.
Why are you the face of CACA? Everyone thinks anal cancer is just a joke, so they either make fun of it or ignore it.
But most importantly, my mom had anal cancer.
[PATTY.]
She was lying.
Stella Rose didn't have cancer.
So I felt like this was the best way to honor her memory.
Please welcome to the stage Miss Magic Jesus, Patty Bladell.
[CHEERING.]
Patty, I see your platform is focused on eating disorder awareness.
How do you view your own relationship to food and body? [PATTY.]
I wanted to tell them the truth, that my relationship with food was messed up.
That I hated myself now more than ever.
That I wanted to eat right there on that stage.
[ANNOUNCER.]
Patty.
[PATTY.]
But if Roxy could bullshit the judges, maybe I could, too.
Maybe I couldn't just stop eating like Bob had, but I could pretend we were the same for the sake of my future.
[PATTY.]
Well, I struggled with food and body my whole life.
But then I started to treat myself better, and I want every young girl out there to know that they can, too.
They can just decide to change and get better and have an amazing life, like me.
Thank you.
[APPLAUSE.]
[WOMAN.]
Let's give a round of applause for our second runner-up Hey, excuse me.
Have you seen this girl? Shh! They're about to announce the winner.
[PATTY.]
It was down to just me and Roxy.
Both of us felons, but only one would be queen.
And now for the moment that you've all been waiting for.
It is with great pleasure that I announce our first runner-up.
Miss Magic Jesus, - Patty Bladell.
- [AUDIENCE SHOUTING AND APPLAUDING.]
[WOMAN.]
Which means that the winner of this year's Miss Northeastern Georgia Dreams Pageant goes to Miss Bareback Buckaroo, Roxy Graham! [SCREAMS.]
[WOMAN.]
You are going to stay to compete in this year's Miss Georgia American Lady.
On top of the world tonight [PATTY.]
Bob had told me the crown was my future.
It was my only chance to move on.
But now I had no hope.
And there weren't enough pastries in the world to make me forget how I felt about myself.
And how I felt was sick.
On top of the world tonight Hey, have you guys seen Patty? - Think she's okay? - She's fine.
She's been through worse.
[BOB ARMSTRONG SIGHS.]
Exactly why I was concerned.
Without the crown, I was scared that Patty would go entirely off the rails.
I'm gonna go see if I can find Patty in her dressing room.
Have you seen Anyone? No? - Okay.
- Thank you.
I can't believe Roxy won.
You know what? Maybe you should congratulate her.
Apologize.
Clear the air.
Well, as soon as we find Magnolia.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Do you have any gum or mints? I have a bad taste.
Hey, it's okay.
I mean, you might be first runner-up, but you were always my number one.
Patty, are you okay? Patty, I was looking all over for you.
What happened? [SNIFFLES.]
Brick, can we have a moment just, you know, - coach and client? - Yeah.
Sure.
Let me know when you're done.
I still want to take you out.
Yeah.
Honey, what took you so long? Nothing.
Patty, don't lie to me.
I was throwing up.
Throwing up? Are you sick? From the pastries.
Did you eat them out of the trash? Oh! [SNIFFLES.]
I miss my mom.
I know.
I know, but I'm here.
It's gonna be okay.
No.
No, nothing can help me.
Nothing can change who I am and what I've done.
Like you said, the crown was my future, and I lost.
I lost it.
That's why I have nothing, and I am nothing, and I am broken, and I am a pig.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Don't ever, ever talk like that about yourself, okay? Look, we will get through this, I promise.
[PATTY.]
I wanted to believe him, that by some miracle, I could still move on.
[BOB BARNARD.]
Magnolia! Magnolia Oh, sweetheart, where have you been? [PATTY.]
And then it happened.
[WOMAN SCREAMS.]
Premonition, all the light from worlds apart All your stories and your pipe dreams Came to life for me in moments after dark Saw you sleeping in my nightmares Premonition, all the light from worlds apart All your stories and your pipe dreams Came to life for me in moments after dark [PATTY.]
With Roxy dead, the crown would go to the runner-up.
Me.
Came to life for me in moments after dark