Keeping Up Appearances s02e01 Episode Script

( theme music playing ) MORNING, MRS.
BUCKET.
IT'S "BOUQUET.
" I NEVER KNEW THAT.
TRUST ME.
TO ME, PEOPLE ARE USUALLY JUST A NAME ON A NOTE.
I WILL NOT HAVE MILKMEN REDUCING ME TO A PIECE OF PAPER.
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG MRS.
BU--? "BOUQUET"? IT SEEMS ALL RIGHT.
BUT IN FUTURE I WANT YOU TO BE QUITE SURE THAT I GE MY OWN BOTTLES BACK.
I KNOW THAT MINE HAVE BEEN PROPERLY WASHED.
AND I CAN'T BE QUITE SURE ABOUT OTHER BOTTLES.
SO PLEASE INFORM THE PEOPLE AT THE DEPO THAT I WAN MY OWN BOTTLES BACK.
ALL BOTTLES ARE STERILIZED, MRS.
BU-- "BOUQUET.
" THE MILK'S PASTEURIZED.
IT'S A MATTER OF COMPLETE INDIFFERENCE TO ME WHETHER IT'S STERILIZED, PASTEURIZED, IMMUNIZED OR PRIVATIZED.
JUST INFORM YOUR SUPERIORS THAT I WANT MY OWN BOTTLES BACK! ( whistling ) THERE'S A MAN-- NEXT DOOR-- IN ELIZABETH'S HOUSE.
SORRY, I DON'T SEE THE SIGNIFICANCE.
A MAN.
YES, I HEARD THAT.
BOLD AS YOU PLEASE.
IF SHERIDAN WERE HERE HE'D BE APPALLED.
STEADY ON, MAYBE SHE'S GOT THE DECORATOR IN.
DRAPED IN A TOWEL? WELL, AT LEAS HE SOUNDS CLEAN.
HYACINTH, PERHAPS HER HUSBAND'S COME BACK FROM SAUDI ARABIA.
IT IS NO HER HUSBAND.
I WARNED HER AGAINS WATCHING CHANNEL 4.
SHE'LL COME TO NO GOOD IDENTIFYING WITH THE CONTINENTAL CLASSES.
( sniffs ) ONSLOW.
WHAT IS IT? IT LOOKS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
HOW NICE.
WELL IT IS.
LOOK AT IT.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
RIGHT-- GOT IT-- BEAUTIFUL DAY.
WE HARDLY HAVE ANY CONVERSATION THESE DAYS.
EVEN WHEN WE MAKE LOVE YOU RARELY SPEAK TO ME.
ESPECIALLY WHEN WE MAKE LOVE YOU RARELY SPEAK TO ME.
YOU THINK DOING TWO THINGS AT ONCE IS A FORMULA FOR SUCCESS.
IT'S JUST THAT-- AT TIMES LIKE THA A WOMAN LIKES A LITTLE CONFIRMATION THAT THERE'S ACTUALLY SOMEBODY THERE.
IT'S THAT MEMORABLE, IS IT? I'LL TELL YOU WHY I DON'T LIKE CHATTING WHEN I'M MAKING LOVE TO YOU.
BECAUSE THE LAST TIME, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS, YOU SAID TO ME, "ONSLOW, IF I'D HAVE DIED IN CHILDBIRTH, WOULD YOU HAVE MARRIED AGAIN?" WELL, WOULD YOU? MARRIED AGAIN? I COULDN'T EVEN FINISH MAKING LOVE.
YOU FORGET, YOU WOMEN, IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY MAKING LOVE TO PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED.
AND THEN YOU COME UP WITH A QUESTION LIKE THAT, IT AMOUNTS TO OVERLOADING THE SYSTEM.
ARE WE GOING TO GET UP? YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO PIECES JUST BECAUSE IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
WOULD YOU PU SOMETHING ON, ROSE? YOU'LL BE UPSETTING ONSLOW.
NO SHE WON'T.
NOT THIS TIME OF THE MORNING.
DAD'S GONE AGAIN.
HE LEFT A NOTE THIS TIME.
"CONDITION RED, ENEMY AIRCRAFT APPROACHING.
DON'T GET UP, I'LL HANDLE IT.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY RATION BOOK? DAD.
" NOW WE'LL HAVE TO GET UP.
I'LL KILL YOUR FATHER.
HOW COULD SHE-- NEXT TO A HOUSE OF THIS CALIBER? HAD I KNOWN, I'D NEVER HAVE GONE TO THE EXPENSE OF DOUBLE GLAZING.
THERE'S NO POIN IN GETTING UPSET.
THERE'S PROBABLY SOME PERFECTLY HARMLESS EXPLANATION.
HOW CAN THERE BE A HARMLESS EXPLANATION TO A STRANGE MAN IN THE HOUSE? INFORMALLY DRESSED WITH A DEBAUCHED EXPRESSION? AND OBVIOUSLY BEEN THERE ALL NIGHT.
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT HE'S BEEN THERE ALL NIGHT.
IF HE'S THERE DRAPED IN A TOWEL WHEN THE MILK ARRIVES, HE'S BEEN THERE ALL NIGHT.
YES, IT'S A REASONABLE CONCLUSION.
I MEAN, JUST IMAGINE, IF SHE KEEPS HIM, WE COULD BE SHARING MILK BOTTLES.
I WILL NOT SHARE MILK BOTTLES WITH AN ILLICIT LOVE NEST.
IT'S REALLY NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
OF COURSE IT'S MY BUSINESS.
ELIZABETH IS MY FRIEND.
I JUST CAN'T STAND IDLY BY WHEN SHE'S SINKING INTO MORAL TURPITUDE.
I CAN'T SEE LIZ SINKING INTO MORAL TURPITUDE.
I WON'T ALLOW IT.
WE MUST SAVE HER FROM HERSELF.
I CANNOT HAVE MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR TURNING HER HOME INTO A HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE.
HYACINTH! JUST THINK WHAT IT COULD DO TO THE PROPERTY VALUES.
( knocking ) ONSLOW, AREN'T YOU UP YET? I'M THINKING.
IT'S NO GOOD GOING OFF HALF-COCKED IN THESE LITTLE EMERGENCIES.
SOMEBODY'S GO TO KEEP A COOL HEAD AND DO THE PLANNING.
THERE'S NOBODY SEEN HIM IN THE STREET.
HER AT THE SHOP HASN'T SEEN HIM, AND SHE NEVER MISSES A THING.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO TRACK HIM DOWN THE FIRST THING TO DO IS FIND OU WHAT HE'S WEARING.
RIGHT.
SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT PLANNING? A COOL HEAD.
ALL HIS STREET CLOTHES ARE THERE.
HE'S NO WEARING ANY OF THEM.
SO NOW WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR-- AN OLD MAN IN PAJAMAS.
WRONG.
OH, NICE.
WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE! MOVE?! I SHALL MISS THIS HOUSE.
OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE MADE IT A CENTER OF CULTURE AND TASTE.
( blows nose ) WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO MOVE? IF THIS AREA IS HEADING FOR A MORAL DECLINE, WHAT CHOICE HAVE WE? I WILL NOT RAISE SHERIDAN IN A CONTINENTAL ATMOSPHERE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE ELIZABETH'S INVOLVED IN ANYTHING CONTINENTAL.
WELL, I CAN' BELIEVE IT, EITHER.
HOW FORTUNATE YOU ARE, RICHARD, TO HAVE A WIFE OF IMPECCABLE MORAL RECTITUDE.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? - WE'RE GONNA HAVE A CUP OF TEA, HAVE A FAG AND DECIDE ON A PLAN OF OPERATION.
ONSLOW'S VERY GOOD IN EMERGENCIES.
( television turns on ) I SHOULD THINK SO.
THE WAY HE LIVES-- LOOK AT THE PRACTICE HE'S HAD.
HERE IT IS-- PLAN "A.
" I'LL STAY HERE IN CASE HE COMES HOME, YOU TWO GO AND LOOK FOR HIM.
OH, I CAN'T GO.
I'M EXPECTING A PHONE CALL FROM MR.
BICKERSTAFF.
- WHO'S MR.
BICKERSTAFF? - WHO'S MR.
BICKERSTAFF? HE'S ONLY THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
A CHANCE TO START AGAIN, TO BUILD ON THE SECURITY OF SOMEONE WHO CARES FOR ME.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS MR.
CRABTREE.
DON'T SPEAK TO ME ABOUT THAT SWINE.
YOU SAID YOU LOVED HIM MADLY.
IN FACT, WE COULD HEAR YOU LOVING HIM MADLY.
THAT WAS A TRAGIC MISTAKE.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT LOVE WAS UNTIL ALONG CAME MR.
BICKERSTAFF.
I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE UNTIL I'VE HAD HIS PHONE CALL.
HE'LL PANIC IF I'M NOT HERE TO TELL HIM I LOVE HIM.
YOU GO WITH DAISY! IF A BICKERSTAFF RINGS, I'LL TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM.
I KNOW YOU DON' BELIEVE ME, RICHARD.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK, HYACINTH.
NOT UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN I WITH YOUR OWN EYES.
ELIZABETH HAS A MAN IN THE HOUSE.
I STILL FEEL IT'S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
THE TONE OF THIS NEIGHBORHOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY BUSINESS.
IT IS NOT WITHOUT ENORMOUS EFFORT ON MY PAR THAT THIS DISTRICT HAS ONE OF THE MOST SOUGHT-AFTER POSTAL CODES.
I CAN'T JUS GO OUT THERE AND STARE AT ELIZABETH'S HOUSE.
NO, OF COURSE YOU MUSTN'T STARE, DEAR.
WE'RE NO ONES TO PRY.
NOW, I SHALL PRETEND TO SEE YOU OFF TO WORK.
YOU WILL TURN AND WAVE AS YOU NORMALLY DO.
DO I NORMALLY TURN AND WAVE? YOU WILL TURN AND WAVE, RICHARD.
THIS WILL GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO CAS YOUR EYE OVER ELIZABETH'S HOUSE.
WELL, WHAT IF I DON'T SEE HIM? THEN YOU WILL PRETEND THAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING.
AND YOU WILL RETURN TO THE HOUSE.
AND THEN WE'LL DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
OFF YOU GO, RICHARD.
I'VE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING.
I'VE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING AGAIN.
LIZ, WHO'S THE IDIO NEXT DOOR? OH, THAT'S RICHARD.
OH, HE'S RATHER A DEAR, REALLY.
A BIT FORGETFUL, ISN'T HE? THAT'S THREE TIMES HE'S BEEN BACK TO THE HOUSE.
BEING MARRIED TO HYACINTH, IT'S A MIRACLE HE GOES BACK AT ALL.
- NOW DID YOU SEE HIM THAT TIME? - I COULDN'T SEE A THING.
OH, WHY IS I MEN NEVER NOTICE THINGS? I NOTICE I'LL BE LATE FOR THE OFFICE.
DON'T INTERRUPT ME WHILE I'M THINKING, DEAR.
IF HE WON' SHOW HIMSELF, WE MUS FLUSH HIM OUT.
TEAR GAS? RICHARD? I WILL GO ROUND NOW TO ELIZABETH'S HOUSE ON SOME INNOCENT ERRAND.
I'LL INVITE HER TO ANOTHER OF MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS.
YOU WILL STAY HERE AND KEEP WATCH.
AS SOON AS ELIZABETH HAS LET ME IN THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR, 10 TO ONE, YOU'LL SEE THE MAN SNEAK OUT OF THE BACK SCURRYING AWAY.
IT'S TIME THAT I WAS SCURRYING AWAY.
SHE'S NOT LISTENING.
HOW DOES SHE MANAGE NEVER TO LISTEN? I WISH I COULD GET THE HANG OF IT.
RICHARD! WE MUST WARN HER AGAINST THE DANGERS OF STRANGE MEN.
- ME? YES, YOU, DEAR.
WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING? AND YOU MUS DO IT TACTFULLY.
WHILE I'VE CORNERED HER, YOU MUST MAKE YOUR APPEARANCE AND BEGIN TALKING CASUALLY ABOUT HOW YOU'VE SEEN I IN THE PAPERS.
- SEEN WHAT? - THE DANGERS OF GETTING INVOLVED WITH STRANGE MEN.
SHE'LL THINK I'M THE STRANGE MAN.
OH, NOW DON' BE SILLY, DEAR.
I AM RELYING ON YOU, RICHARD.
DON'T FAIL ME.
LET'S RESTORE THIS AREA TO A PLACE FIT FOR SHERIDAN TO LIVE IN.
GO ON, TO YOUR POST.
JAWOHL.
- GOOD MORNING.
- OH, GOOD MORNING.
( bell rings ) ( phone ringing ) HELLO, CAN YOU HANG ON A MINUTE, PLEASE? I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
OH, IT'S YOU, DAISY.
NO, SHE'S JUS POPPED NEXT DOOR.
WHICH REMINDS ME, HANG ON.
I DON'T EXPECT SHE'LL BE LONG.
IS IT URGENT? OH, YOUR FATHER, YES.
NO, I'LL TELL HER.
I'VE GO TO POP NEXT DOOR MYSELF.
YES, BYE.
YOU SEE I IN THE PAPERS.
TERRIBLE.
WOMEN LIVING ALONE.
GETTING INVOLVED WITH STRANGE MEN.
VERY UNWISE.
SOUNDS BARMY.
YOU CAN'T OPEN A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT.
HELLO, LIZ.
HAVE YOU SEEN IT IN THE PAPERS? WOMEN LIVING ALONE GETTING INVOLVED WITH STRANGE MEN.
OH, I CAN' SAY THAT.
( bell rings ) ON THE OTHER HAND, HYACINTH WILL BE STANDING THERE WAITING FOR ME TO SAY THAT.
I CAN SAY THAT.
HELLO, RICHARD.
ELIZABETH, HI.
- WHAT IS IT? - ELIZABETH, I-- YES, RICHARD? I HAVE TO SPEAK TO YOU.
OH, WELL, COME IN.
FORCES OVER WHICH I HAVE NO CONTROL - ARE INSISTING THAT I SPEAK TO YOU.
- YES, RICHARD.
HAVE YOU SEEN I IN THE PAPERS? HAVE I SEEN WHAT? - ABOUT STRANGE MEN-- - RICHARD! RICHARD! YOU HAVEN'T MET ELIZABETH'S BROTHER, HAVE YOU? - BROTHER? - ELIZABETH'S BROTHER! OH, I'M SORRY.
I'VE JUST BEEN TELLING EMMET ALL ABOUT YOU.
EMMET, THIS IS RICHARD.
RICHARD, MY BROTHER EMMET.
- HELLO, RICHARD.
- HE'LL BE STAYING HERE FOR A WHILE.
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW GLAD I AM TO HEAR THAT.
THAT I SHALL BE STAYING HERE FOR A WHILE? NO, THAT YOU'RE HER BROTHER.
- WELL, HYACINTH-- NO! NOW STOP BABBLING, RICHARD.
IT'S TIME YOU GOT BACK TO THE OFFICE.
HE HAS VERY LARGE RESPONSIBILITIES.
I DON'T LIKE HIM BEING LATE FOR THE OFFICE.
HYACINTH, YOUR SISTER'S BEEN ON THE PHONE.
OH, MY SISTER VIOLET.
SHE MARRIED A TURF ACCOUNTANT.
THEY HAVE A VERY LARGE HOUSE, A SWIMMING POOL AND ROOM FOR A PONY.
- NO, DAISY.
- OH, DAISY.
EXCUSE ME, DEAR.
EMMET.
AND LATER ON THERE'LL BE A LITTLE CANDLELIGHT SUPPER SOMETIME, TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
EMMET.
JUST A SMALL SELECT GATHERING.
LIVING NEXT DOOR TO US, YOU'LL SOON LEARN THAT YOU'RE AT THE CENTER OF THE CULTURAL HUB OF THINGS ROUND HERE.
- I MUST BE LEAVING FOR THE OFFICE.
- AGAIN.
AS THE FRENCH SAY.
( laughs ) TE44TE-A00-TE44TE YE GODS! IS THE WOMAN ALWAYS LIKE THAT? IT WAS HER BROTHER ALL THE TIME.
HE'S LOST HIS HOUSE IN A MESSY DIVORCE AND HE NEEDS SOMEWHERE TO LIVE.
I KNEW ELIZABETH WAS BEYOND MORAL REPROACH.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU PU THAT IDEA IN MY HEAD IN THE FIRST PLACE.
YOU DON'T IMAGINE I COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS ALL THESE YEARS, WITH A PERSON OF LOW MORAL FIBRE? IT WAS SHORT-SIGHTED OF YOU, RICHARD.
ACTUALLY, IT WAS YOU WHO SAID-- YES, I DID, DIDN'T I? AND YOU SEE HOW RIGHT I WAS.
I MUST GO TO THE OFFICE.
COME INSIDE FOR A MOMENT, RICHARD.
THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
IT'S QUITE EXCITING.
TELL ME HERE.
I THINK CHATTING IN THE STREE IS VERY COMMON, DON'T YOU? ( whines ) - HYACINTH--! - NO, NO, NO! - WILL IT BE LONG-- - SHH! SHH! - I'M TELLING YOU-- - ( verbalizing ) EMMET IS A MUSICIAN.
HE TEACHES MUSIC.
A CLASSICALLY TRAINED MUSICIAN.
A CLASSICALLY TRAINED MUSICIAN.
DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT MEANS? ABOUT £25 AN HOUR, I SHOULD THINK.
CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT AN ASSE HE'LL BE AT MY LITTLE MUSICAL SOIRE!!ES? OH, THOSE, YES.
DOES HE KNOW THAT YOU GIVE LITTLE MUSICAL SOIRE!!ES? NO, DEAR, NOT YET.
BUT I'M NOT ONE TO PUSH MY TALENTS FORWARD.
- I'LL LET THAT JUS EMERGE NATURALLY.
- YEAH.
BUT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE BEST BIT.
REALLY? HE PRODUCES AND DIRECTS THE AMATEUR OPERATIC SOCIETY! IT'S A WONDER HE FOUND TIME TO GET DIVORCED.
SO YOU MUST BE PREPARED, RICHARD.
AS SOON AS HE HEARS ME SING, HE'LL START PESTERING ME TO PLAY A LEADING ROLE.
AND THAT'S WHAT I WAN TO ASK YOU, DEAR.
WILL IT BE FAIR TO SHERIDAN, A MOTHER ON THE STAGE? WHERE DID YOU PU MY BRIEFCASE? BECAUSE I'M HAVING HIM ROUND FOR COFFEE AND THE QUESTION MAY ARISE.
DON'T FORGET TO RING YOUR DAISY.
OH, YES, DEAR, YES, I WILL WHEN I'VE GOT A MOMENT.
- AH.
- WHEN I'VE DECIDED THE DETAILS OF MY DEBUT.
- DADDY'S NOWHERE ROUND THE BLOCK! - NOBODY'S SEEN HIM.
- DID OUR HYACINTH RING? - NO.
- DID MR.
BICKERSTAFF RING? - NOBODY RANG.
ONSLOW, YOU'VE GO TO GET THE CAR OUT, LOVE.
WE HAVE TO GO AND TELL HER.
WHAT IF MR.
BICKERSTAFF RINGS? YOU CAN PHONE MR.
BICKERSTAFF AT OUR HYACINTH'S.
ON A WHITE SLIMLINE PUSH-BUTTON TELEPHONE.
( television goes off ) GOODBYE, DEAR.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
WHAT'S LEFT OF IT.
( Hyacinth sings opera ) - WHY ARE YOU SINGING? - HMM? OUT HERE IN THE OPEN LIKE THAT? RICHARD, WHAT A QUESTION, DEAR.
YOU KNOW I LOVE TO SING.
( sings ) OH, ELIZABETH, DEAR.
DON'T FORGE COFFEE AT 10:45, WILL YOU? ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE PUT ON A SHIRT.
NOBODY SAID IT WAS FORMAL.
I'LL DIE IF I MISS MR.
BICKERSTAFF.
Both: OH, SHUT UP, ROSE! COME ON, EMMET, SHE SAID 10:45.
IT HAS TO BE EXACTLY 10:45? BELIEVE ME, IT'S EASIER.
( bell rings ) AH, THERE YOU ARE.
AND ALMOST ON TIME.
COME IN.
( loudly ) COME IN.
AND THERE'S SHERIDAN AT SHERINGHAM IN HIS LITTLE SAILOR SUIT.
SUPER.
AND THERE HE IS DAWDLING ON A DONKEY AT DAWLISH.
BLESS HIM, HE WAS FEARLESS.
THEN WHY IS HE CRYING? WELL-- BECAUSE THE DONKEY WAS CARRYING HIM AWAY FROM HIS MOMMY.
WE WERE ALWAYS VERY CLOSE.
ANOTHER CUP OF AROMATIC NUT-ROASTED SPECIAL? NO! NO, THANK YOU.
I'M FINE.
ELIZABETH, YOURS MUST BE COLD.
NO, NO! THANK YOU, HYACINTH.
I'M ALWAYS A BIT UNEASY WITH YOUR BEST CHINA.
NO, I'M QUITE HAPPY WITH MY BISCUIT.
GOOD, BUT JUST WATCH THE CRUMBS, WON'T YOU? MY ROYAL DOULTON HAND-PAINTED PERIWINKLE IS NOT REALLY MY BEST CHINA.
IT'S JUST MY EVERYDAY BEST.
MY REALLY BES BEST, I SHALL KEEP FOR ANOTHER TIME.
WHEN YOU COME FOR A MORE FORMAL OCCASION.
PERHAPS A LITTLE MUSICAL SOIRE!!E, FOLLOWED BY A LITTLE CANDLELIGHT SUPPER.
NOW, I'VE GO ANOTHER ALBUM SOMEWHERE.
( backfires ) WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE COFFEE AND THE TOUR THROUGH YOUR ALBUMS, BUT WE HAVE TO BE GOING.
NO, YOU CAN'T GO NOW! NOT NOW.
NOT RIGHT NOW.
NOT UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THE OTHER ALBUM.
DESOLATE AS I AM I NOT TO SEE ANOTHER ALBUM-- - EXCUSE ME, DON'T MOVE! JUST SIT THERE.
I'LL BE BACK.
WHATEVER YOU THINK! OH, LET'S GO.
I DON'T THINK I CAN FACE YET ANOTHER ALBUM.
NO, SHE SAID DON'T MOVE.
WE CAN'T EXACTLY BE UNDER HOUSE ARREST.
CAN WE? - GO AND FIND DADDY IMMEDIATELY.
- WE'VE BEEN DOING THAT.
CAN'T I MAKE A PHONE CALL TO MR.
BICKERSTAFF? NO, ROSE.
NOT TO ONE OF YOUR GENTLEMEN FRIENDS ON MY WHITE SLIMLINE TELEPHONE, THE INSTRUMEN THROUGH WHICH I HAVE TO SPEAK TO SHERIDAN.
SUPPOSING THERE WERE A CROSSED LINE AND HE PICKED UP SOME RESIDUE OF YOUR CONVERSATION? YOU MUST GO AND FIND DADDY NOW.
WE THOUGH HE MIGHT BE HERE.
DADDY WOULD NEVER COME HERE LOOKING FOR HIS RATION BOOK.
NOT IN HIS LONGJOHNS.
NOW, GO AND FIND HIM IMMEDIATELY.
WILL YOU GE INTO THE CAR, ONSLOW? NOW, ONSLOW.
SHE COULD DO WITH A DROP OF WATER FOR THE RADIATOR.
THE WATER HERE WOULDN'T BE SUITABLE FOR YOUR KIND OF RADIATOR.
( engine sputters ) THAT'S IT.
THAT SOUNDS FINE.
OFF YOU GO, ONSLOW.
BUT HYACINTH, SUPPOSING DADDY-- GOODBYE, DEAR.
GIVE ME A RING IF YOU FIND DADDY.
POOR DADDY.
OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, LUFTWAFFE.
WE'LL HAVE TO BE GOING, HYACINTH.
EMMET HAS WORK TO DO.
NEVER MIND, DEAR.
THERE'LL BE MANY OTHER OCCASIONS.
OH SPLENDID.
( bicycle bell ringing ) DID YOU SEE THAT? - WHO IS HE? - IT WAS DADDY.
MY FATHER'S A LEADING COMPETITOR IN THE OVER 70s BICYCLE RACE.
I EXPECT HIS NUMBER FELL OFF IN THE EXCITEMENT.
WHY IS HE WEARING LONGJOHNS AND A STEEL HELMET? FANCY DRESS-- FOR CHARITY.
BRAVE DADDY.
RISKING THE ELEMENTS AT HIS AGE FOR CHARITABLE PURPOSES.
THE OLD SCHOOL, YOU KNOW.
COMING, DADDY.
I MUST REFRESH HIM WITH ORANGE JUICE BEFORE HE TACKLES THE NEXT 100 LAPS.
YES, THE OLD SCHOOL.
IT'S HIS KIND OF SPIRI THAT KEEPS ONE GOING WHEN EVERYTHING APPEARS TO BE COLLAPSING.
THERE'LL ALWAYS BE ( singing continues ) ( theme music playing )