Kid Cosmic (2021) s02e01 Episode Script

1
[Kid] Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[Fantos]
The mind-boggling vastness of space.
And in that boggling vastness
only 13 to be found.
Thirteen Cosmic Stones of Power! [echoing]
To find one is unbelievable,
but to find five, at once?
Unimaginable.
But I, Fantos the Amassor,
found five Cosmic Stones of Power!
At once!
And then this third-rate shipping company
lost them!
I paid you extra for insurance.
Expedited shipping! Tracking numbers!
No expense was spared!
But they never arrived!
These rare and precious Cosmic Stones
were created by the greatest evil force
in all the universe.
Erodious the Planet Killer!
Each stone, the final remnant of a world
that has been ripped apart
by the power of Erodious!
-Sir, if you'll--
-Erodious!
[customer snickers]
[chuckling]
Fool!
You would not dare mock me if you knew
the power of the mighty
and unyielding Erodious!
[buzzes]
Looks like you’ll have
the chance to find out.
[grumbles] This isn’t over.
I plan on leaving a very sternly worded
comment on the UPX website!
And it is going to be long,
weird, and rambling!
[grumbles]
Oh my gosh, it's happening!
[laughing]
Hurry! It’s almost over!
Here! Give it to me!
I blinked!
Ugh, forget it.
Still…
I can’t believe
I finally got to see Erodious in person.
Soon the entire galaxy
will understand the power of Erodious.
Erodious!
And the power
of negative consumer feedback.
"Dear Jerks at UPX Shipping…"
Wait. Their planet was just destroyed.
"Dear Jerks at UPX shipping,
Ha ha!"
"Your enemy, Fantos the Amassor." Send.
-[beeps]
-Anything on the scanners?
What? What? What is it?
Why are you showing me this?
I could eat, but…
Wait a minute!
My stone!
[shatters]
[Kid] Yeah!
[upbeat music playing]
Whoo-hoo!
[laughing]
Whoa!
Ooh!
Ha-ha!
Yeah!
[screeching]
[aliens growling]
Whoa!
Ahh!
Oh!
Whoa!
Ha-ha. Wow!
Kid. You okay?
Uh, guess I still suck at telekeneshish.
Technikkanexis.
Telekinesis.
[dings]
[rock music playing]
[sizzling]
Hey, Carl, Carla, and Carlos.
Hey, Kid.
We love these "hamberders an flies!"
Am I saying it right?
Yes.
Hey, Flo. Seen Jo?
Uh, table 13, I think.
Thanks!
Flo, I can’t thank you enough for
all you did to get me back to my family.
It’s been a very happy belated birthday
with my girl here. [chuckles]
I’m just happy you’re happy.
Now you all let me know
if there’s anything else you need.
[glass shattering]
[grunts]
Oh my goodness!
[gasps]
Are you okay, Graknar?
How about a nice slice of Volgot pie?
On the house.
Kitchen, now.
Hamburg, where’s my order for table 20?
One globlob medium rare
and another slice of Volgot pie.
Got it right here, Jo.
-Thanks, Fry.
-Jo…
Is this medium rare? It’s still blue.
It’s organic globlob.
It’s supposed to stay blue.
Jo!
Ugh! I wrote down Graknar’s allergy,
I swear.
Yes, and you spelled it
"f-l-A-r-b."
It’s "f-l-O-r-b."
Well, he’s okay now, isn’t he?
[Flo] That’s not the point.
You gotta think about your customers, Jo!
[sighs] That couple at the door
has been waiting 20 minutes for a table.
You seated the Plexmans in a filthy booth.
You forgot to order fresh snorb oil.
And have you been practicing
your Velbanese?
You know the Velbian esophagus
can’t form Earth words!
[croaking]
Come on, Jo, don’t you remember
your Grandmother’s recipe?
Out loud.
Uh, Mo’s secret recipe:
a cup of compassion,
a teaspoon of tenderness,
an ounce of understanding mix with…
[both] Care and kindness.
[groans]
-[sighs] Sorry you saw that, boys.
-I saw nothing, nothing.
Oh, no worries.
My sister had a phase like that.
-[dings]
-[sighs]
What am I going to do with that girl?
-Hey, there you are!
-Busy.
Here you go.
Globlob nice and hot.
Your side of blamf. More napkins.
So listen, I’ve been thinking,
we’ve been in the truck stop for a while.
And I don’t wanna be
a delivery boy forever.
You don’t wanna be a waitress.
Who ever said I don’t
want to be a waitress?
Uh, you did?
Ugh!
…and after our final decisive maneuver,
Commander Zorka’s armada
scattered in disarray.
Thus the Battle for Beta Gamalon
ended in total, glorious victory
for the royal forces of Queen Xhan.
Hah! Reminds me of this one time
I had a dozen mice cornered all at once.
Talk about a total, glorious,
delicious victory. Ha-ha.
One Flaxnar and Diet Tuna Tartare.
Diet?
-Jo!
-Gah!
Kid, I know what you’re gonna say.
You wanna start our mission
to find Stones of Power,
and we will. I promise.
-When?
-When I’m…
I mean, when we’re ready.
We can’t just run off
on some wild Cosmic Stone chase.
Why not? Sounds awesome.
Uh, I’ve been swamped
helping my mom with the diner.
She needs help with all the new customers.
Besides, I haven’t come up with a plan.
Not to mention,
I have no clue how to find the stones.
Queen Xhan brought us here
to destroy Erodious.
And she can’t lead us.
Erodious kicked her butt.
She expelled the last
of her energy portaling us here.
-I’m getting better.
-I mean, look at her.
-She can’t even float anymore.
-The booth seats are quite comfortable.
You’re our only hope, Jo.
The longer we wait,
the more danger the Planet Killer
poses to the entire galaxy.
So here’s a plan for you:
you lead our team to use
our powers to find more stones,
recruit more heroes and get awesome.
Then we go battle an ancient alien force
of pure evil and save the galaxy.
What do you say?
[phone rings]
I got it!
[phone rings]
Ugh!
Have faith in your leader, Kid Cosmic.
When Jo finally accepts
what it takes to be a true leader,
she will find the proper path to lead
her team to ultimate victory.
Promise?
That concept is foreign to my culture,
but I promise.
[ringing]
Mo’s Oasis,
like no other place in space is.
How can I help you?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Got it.
Kid!
Adventure?
Delivery.
Ugh!
Ugh. Delivering diner food in an hour
or less guaranteed is not exactly
the kind of high-stakes space
adventure I was hoping for.
[knocking]
Mo’s Oasis,
like no other place in space is.
[Fantos] I’d like to add
to my order, please.
One Cosmic Stone of Power! [laughing]
Hey!
[laughing]
[Fantos] The mind-boggling vastness
of space,
and in that boggling vastness,
only 13 to be found.
To find one is unbelievable,
but to find five, at once?
Unimaginable.
But I, Fantos the Amassor,
found five Cosmic Stones of Power
at once!
Then you stole them!
My scanners indicate
that the other four stones,
that I legitimately won
in an online auction by the way,
are hidden somewhere
inside the place you call Mo’s Oasis.
If those that love you ever
hope to see you again,
they will have no choice but to hand over
the four remaining stones
to me!
[laughing]
Yes!
With me captured, Jo has no choice
but to spring into action and save me!
Our space adventures have finally begun!
[laughing]
Getting captured by a supervillain is
just the lucky break
I’ve been looking for! Whoa!
You must really like the stones.
No, I don’t like the stones.
I love the stones!
Me too!
Whatcha gonna do with them?
Take over the galaxy?
Rule the universe with an iron fist
and bend all to your mighty will?
That sounds like a ton of work.
I could care less
about taking over the galaxy.
I’m really more of, like,
a huge Erodious, uh…
I hate to say "fan"…
More of a curator
of the various curios, mementos,
and ephemera associated
with the Planet Killer.
Dork.
What is a dork?
We’re awesome.
So, what’s the deal with Erodious?
Why is it destroying planets and stuff?
[Fantos] Aha!
That’s the question, isn’t it?
Some say that it’s a god,
others, a mindless force of balance.
-Queen Xhan says it’s pure evil.
-[hesitates] Do you know Queen Xhan?
One of the Survivors of Erodious?
Yeah. I actually knew five of them,
but unfortunately Erodious--
Ooh, I heard it killed them all.
Yeah, they… were… my… friends.
But the good thing is, Xhan survived
and teleported our team into space,
so we could collect all 13 stones
and use our increased power to destroy
Erodious once and for all!
Uh, yeah, not gonna happen.
Erodious is unstoppable.
And if anyone’s going to collect
all 13 stones, it’s gonna be me
because I know where to find them.
Thanks to this ultra rare object.
The Sacred Scroll of the Stones.
I totally had a copy of this.
What?
Yeah. Actually,
mine was in a lot better condition.
Wha… No way! Let me see it!
It blew up.
Oh. Uh-huh. Right.
So, Kid Cosmic…
I shall now put my master plan into action
and capture the remaining
four Cosmic Stones of Power!
[beeping]
[phone ringing]
[Jo] Mo’s Oasis,
like no other place in space is.
Cower in fear for I, Fantos, demand--
[Jo] Please hold.
[hold music playing]
I’m on hold.
-Yeah, this is our big lunch rush.
-[line beeps]
-Cower in fear--
-[Jo] Please hold.
[hold music playing]
Do you think I should wait
half an hour and call back?
-[Jo] Mo’s Oasis, What can I get you?
-Cower in fear! Fantos demands--
-[Jo] We’re kinda busy. What do you want?
-What, um, oh, okay, I…
I want the four Cosmic Stones of Power
and a double cheeseburger!
To go.
-[Jo] Is this some sort of joke?
-She doesn’t believe me.
Here, give it to me.
[clears throat] Help, Jo, help!
Come and save me!
I’ve been captured by a mega-supervillain,
and he means to do me harm!
[Jo] Kid? What are you doing?
Are you really in trouble?
Indeed, he is in trouble!
Deliver the stones or the kid dies!
Oh, and extra napkins.
Thanks.
[line beeps]
Kid?
Kid?
Kid's in trouble!
Whooza, what now?
She’s right.
Some sort of crazy space villain
has grabbed the Kid.
Eh, yeah.
That’s sure what it sounded like.
Especially the crazy part.
Smash villain! Save Kid!
Now, Rosa. We want to open up
a line of communication first.
See what the hostage taker is demanding.
He said he wants our rings or Kid gets it.
Is Kid okay?
Must protect Kid.
Yeah, I know we do,
just gimme a chance to think!
Now, honey, don’t be nervous.
Remember what I said--
[Xhan] Everyone, silence!
You must await your leader’s plan.
Um, hmm, uh…
Jeez, if I could just see the guy,
get a lay of the land,
know what I’m dealing with,
then maybe I could think of something?
I like it.
[groans] Jo. I’m still too weak.
Help me open a peep portal,
then look inside.
Whatcha’ see?
Okay. Um, there’s some weird dude
in a spaceship. Guess he’s the bad guy?
There’s a whole bunch of posters
and action figures?
Okay, the Kid is being hooked up
to some type of contraption by a…
what I guess is a minion?
How does he look?
-[Jo] Not too tough at all.
-[Flo] No, the Kid!
[Jo] Oh!
Surprisingly fine.
Happy, actually.
He seems pretty easy to save.
Maybe this won’t be too hard.
Well, now I--
Okay, here’s the plan:
we’ll portal in, Tuna will be the lookout,
the Gs will be on defense. I’ll free
the Kid while Rosa smashes the bad guy.
What about me?
-You can finish the dishes.
-I’m on it!
Okay. Local Heroes, let’s, uh… get heroic!
[action music playing]
After, after. Multiply after we get there!
Ugh. Sorry, wasn’t my call.
Gotta talk to the man in charge.
Ahh!
[Tuna] Uh, was that it?
Is this fella some kinda yellowbelly?
Oh! Those are some fancy duds!
Are those… other Cosmic Stones?
Yes, they are.
And it took me forever to find these.
But now…
I’ve more than doubled my collection,
just like that!
What?
[crying]
[Fantos laughing]
That will be all.
Please, see yourselves out.
[laughing]
Five new stones!
Nine in total!
[laughing]
Only four more to go
and my Erodious collection
will be complete!
Erodious!
What do we do, Jo?
Uh…
Give it back! Mine!
Hey!
Cool! Multiple arms!
Ugh! Wrong stone! I wanna get big!
Give me that! Get off of me!
[grunts]
Big stone, big stone, big stone!
Whoa!
Super stretch!
New plan!
Grab a stone, power up with whatever
you got, and get our stones back maybe?
[grunts]
Agh! Not this again!
[laughing]
Ah, wait, no! That was dumb.
[gasps]
Rosa! Throw me my stone!
[laughing]
No!
Hey!
-Almost got it, Kid!
-Yes!
No.
Whoa!
Whaa!
[grunts] No!
Eww, gross!
Ahh!
Too many scary things! I don’t want it!
Give up, Fantos.
We’ve got our old stones back.
Sort of.
I don't!
Agh! Cool!
Invisibility!
Kid!
[Fantos laughing]
[grunting]
[moaning]
[Fantos] Return the stones!
Give back what you have stolen from me!
No, you return what you stole from me!
-[Fantos] No, you!
-You!
-[Fantos] You!
-You!
[Jo] Everything’s… going wrong.
Knew we weren’t ready.
Knew I… wasn’t ready.
It’s all… slipping… away.
-[Fantos] You!
-[Kid] You!
[Jo] Slipping away…
[plops]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[thuds]
[grunting]
Kid! Portal us home!
No! I need my stone back!
Ugh, gross, gross, gross!
Tell me about it!
My stone!
Mom!
They stole my stones!
[grunts]
They’ll pay for this.
That did not go well.
Sure it did. We all got
our original stones back, didn’t we?
[Kid] Not me.
-I'm goo!
-I’m sure you’ll make it work.
[sighs] Why can’t I have the multi-arm
stone instead?
Well, Mom needs all the help
she can get to handle the diner crowd so…
I have the best power of all,
the power of productivity!
Sorry, Kid.
Well, at least I got this.
It shows the locations
of all the lost Stones of Power.
Now you have no excuse
not to start our space adventures!
What's that?
Fantos’s copy of the scroll.
He took my ring. I took his book.
No, that.
Oh, hold on.
Thanks, needed that.
That’s so gross.
Yep, I hate this power.
Okay, if I’m going to do this,
I’m going to need some serious help.
Oh, honey, don’t look so glum! I…
Oh…
[sighs]
Queen Xhan! Are you…
Oh, uh…
I--I’m fine, dear.
I just don’t have my strength back yet.
Please.
I really blew it out there.
First, I was too nervous to try,
and then I was so stupid I thought
it would be easy, and then I just…
just…
[babbling]
…all over the place like a total idiot!
I mean, it was embarrassing!
If I couldn’t even stop
an obvious dorkball like Fantos,
how am I gonna stop Erodious,
who’s like an actual real bad,
evil, evil, thing?
I totally, totally blew it!
Well, you did save Kid,
and you did protect the stones.
Though your technique was not optimal,
you did not,
uh, "blow it."
Uh, but if you think you did, then…
Then what?
Then maybe…
I was wrong.
You’re not ready.
Do not fret, Jo.
I shall get someone else to stop Erodious.
And I think I can muster the strength
to send you home.
[straining]
What? No!
I mean, I don’t think I’m ready,
but I don’t want to go home either.
I, I…
What do you want, then?
I want to help!
There’s a whole galaxy of people
that need protecting, and saving,
and I want to help.
I just… need help.
Will you help me, Queen Xhan?
Help me learn
what it takes to be a good leader?
You want to be a good leader?
Then you must start acting like one!
First…
Uh, you might want to take this down.
Oh! Oh, right.
[Xhan] First,
take risks! Defy the odds!
"Defy the odds."
Second,
stop taking orders,
and start giving orders!
Ha! "Taking orders!"
‘Cause I’m a waitress.
I see what you did there--
Third, don’t let anyone,
anyone, stand in your way!
Last,
and this rule is the most
important of all:
when it comes to the greater good,
do whatever it takes, no matter the cost!
"…no matter the cost."
I like it.
-Don’t do that. You’re the leader.
-Oh, right, right.
Kid, you ready for adventure?
'Cause I got the recipe for success!
[sighs]
[closing theme music playing]