Knight Squad (2018) s02e01 Episode Script

1 Well, that's new.
[WIND BLOWING.]
Whoa.
Why am I in the princess's bedroom? - Prudie? - Ciara? What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Well, I followed you and I found that secret tunnel.
Tell me what's going on.
Okay, I've been keeping a really big secret from you.
I'm a dirty thief and I love to steal things from the princess.
- You're a thief? - Yeap! Your girl's got issues! Oh, I just love taking things that don't belong to me.
Stealing is the coolest! No, it's not.
I know you're my best friend, but I have to tell the princess.
As a future Knight, I'm sworn to protect her.
Yeah, I don't need those tiaras.
It's not like I'm the princess.
[GRUNTS.]
Prudie followed you! She's gonna find out that you're the princess! What?! [WHISPERING.]
I think she heard me.
What does he mean, "you're the princess"? Prudie, it's time I told you the truth.
You know me as Ciara, but I'm also [MAGIC TINGLING.]
The princess of Astoria.
So you're her and she's you? I need to sit down.
- [THUD.]
- [LOUD RUMBLING.]
Earthquake! But your mighty king hasn't spilled his goblet! [GOBLET CLANKS.]
Really, dude?! Sorry, this is just a lot to take in.
Pfft, well, if that blew your mind, then wait until you hear my secret.
I'm from ready for it? Seagate, and I lied about being dragonblood so that I can go to Knight School.
Oh.
I'm sorry, all I got was an "Oh"? She got an earthquake! Whoa! My sneaky friend who lies a lot is a sneaky liar.
That's crazy.
Even though it wasn't sincere, it meant a lot.
So you've both been keeping these secrets this whole time? My dad says it's too dangerous for both of his daughters to be knights, so I'm forbidden from going to Knight School.
The only way I can train to become a knight is by using this magic ring to transform into Ciara.
And you told Arc before me? I didn't tell him, he figured it out after I caught him stealing my tiara.
Like this.
Prudie, you're the one person in the world I wanted to tell.
But she couldn't.
If people find out our secrets, the princess and I will get kicked out of Knight School.
And I didn't wanna burden you with all that responsibility.
That was good thinking.
Because giants can't keep secrets.
What? Everything about us is big, especially our mouths.
KING: Honey, did you feel that earthquake? It's our dad.
Hide! [GRUNTS.]
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
I didn't know you were hiding a friend up here.
That's not the only thing she's hiding.
The princess is Hiding your Father's Day gift.
Ooh, I hope it's a new "World's Best Dad" goblet.
Some meat-head broke my last one.
This is so bad.
I didn't get my dad anything for Father's Day.
Can we focus on the bigger issue?! Prudie can't keep our secrets.
This is a huge problem.
Well, technically it's a giant problem.
But yeah, it's huge! ARC: Do you wanna know a secret? CIARA: I'm a princess, whose father won't let her become a knight.
Let me go to Knight School, Daddy, please, please, please! So I use a magic ring and secretly train as Ciara.
Yes! ARC: And I'm Arc, a charming thief who has the same dream.
I'm destined to become a knight.
CIARA: But people from outside the kingdom aren't allowed at Knight School.
ARC: So I'm pretending I belong here.
CIARA: Now, we protect each other's secrets.
ARC: So we can achieve our dream of becoming knights.
We can be heroes, we are the Knight Squad, hey! Na-na-na-na-na-na, hey I told Prudie to stay home so she doesn't blurt out our secrets.
I know, but we can't pretend she's sick forever.
We won't.
Tomorrow we'll say she got her head stuck in a bucket.
- Good idea.
- Thanks, Prudie.
Prudie?! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be hiding at home.
I was.
Then I got worried I'd start screaming your secrets out the window, so I came here, where there are no windows.
But there are people here.
I did not think this through.
Get out of here, before someone - Hey, guys.
- You will never believe what I just heard about the princess! - [GASPS.]
Is my boo okay? - Yeap! She's fine.
Of course she is, she's right here.
Right here in your heart.
[SIGHS.]
So true.
Hello, Princess, it's me, Warwick.
Hope it's warm in there.
Okay, that was close.
I'm sorry, guys.
Oh, no, here comes Sage, keep it together, Prudie.
It's okay, I think I got it.
Arc's a thief! I am a dance thief.
It's my happy dance now.
Oh.
Yay! Happy dance! Buttercup! We do not dance with the enemy.
Only each other.
Okay, we have to get you out of here.
Just follow my lead and try not to say anything.
Bad news, Sir Gareth.
We're all sick and have to miss class.
- Sick with what? - Secrets! We are secreting all kinds of gross snotty stuff.
[SNEEZES.]
Get out.
I can't risk getting sick, I only have three healthy body parts, go.
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir! Princess! Squad, gather round.
You defeated Ryker, and restored peace to Astoria.
Now it's time to enter into your next phase of knight training with a lesson in - Fire swords.
- Fire spears.
Fire dancing?! No.
Responsibility.
- Fire responsibility.
- There's no fire! These.
Are.
Wild.
Slobberpuff eggs.
You and a partner will be responsible for keeping it safe until your egg hatches.
Okay, hold up, I don't take care of eggs, I throw them at houses.
Can't Slobwick just watch them? Hmm that's a bad idea.
Slobberpuffs have been known to mistake their eggs for food.
[GROWLS, BARKS.]
Stop slobbering on my mom's napkin.
[GROANS.]
Fine.
Me and Butter will just do what my parents did with me, give the egg some crayons and check on it later.
You will not be doing this assignment with Buttercup.
But we do everything together! See? We could do this all day.
Stop it! For the safety of this egg, I will be Sage's partner.
Buttercup, you will partner with Warwick.
Okay, if you insist.
Hi! I'm Buttercup! Yeah.
I know who you are.
Why don't you choose our egg? What should we name it? - I was thinking - BOTH: Eggy Sue.
Hey, we said the same thing at the same time, just like me and Sage.
BOTH: That is so weird.
I know! Okay, no one's around.
You can let it out, Prudie.
Secret princess! Dirty thief! - Feel better? - Yeah, thanks.
Gonna miss you guys when I get you kicked out of Knight School.
That's not gonna happen, because I have a plan.
That's good, because I'm about to tell that lady all about Here's the plan.
On my travels, I heard about a place called Memory Lane.
There's a guy there that can erase memories.
That sounds extreme.
Are there any other options? Magic ring, sneaky liar And we're off to Memory Lane! Hush, little eggy, don't say a word Sage thinks this lesson is a giant turd You know, doing this assignment with you has been a great egg-xperience.
[GIGGLES.]
I was thinking the egg-xact same thing! Our egg jokes are hilarious.
Look at Buttercup having fun without me.
I should be the one telling her stupid egg jokes.
So this lesson's not all it's cracked up to be.
- What? - I don't get it.
'Cause you 'crack' eggs? Oh.
[GIGGLES.]
Yeah, I guess I get it.
Yeah, thanks for egg-xplaining.
[LAUGHS.]
Nice one.
[SCOFFS.]
Great.
Now I have to scramble to get my friend back.
[LAUGHS.]
Get it? 'Cause you scramble Oh, what do you know? You're an egg.
Well, this is the place.
I really hope this guy can make me forget your secrets.
I hope it can make you forget the trip here.
Especially my fight with that elf.
I wouldn't call it a fight.
He punched you with a tiny fist and you cried.
Greetings, friend-os! And welcome to the magical magnificence that is Memory Lane! [NERVOUS LAUGH.]
Let me talk to the giant leprechaun.
Is it true you can make someone forget the unforgettable? Yeah, because I need to forget the secrets I just learned about my friends Arc and Ciara.
If you're talking about Blondie getting punched by that elf, that secret's out, girlfriend! So can you help us or not? Yes, from a random remembrance to a ruborous recollection, my mystical lane can wipe anything away, that's why they call me The Wiper! [LAUGHING.]
- What's so funny? - Your name.
It kinda sounds like you wipe Memories! Butts.
I've never wiped a butt in my life! I have so many questions.
Now, the memory you want to remove is fresh, so it won't take much.
Just say "I want to forget what I learned about Arc and Ciara," and you take two baby steps down Memory Lane.
Here goes nothing.
I want to forget what I learned about Arc and Ciara.
Holy trolley! I said baby steps! [MAGIC TINGLING.]
I'm part giant! Our babies take big steps! What just happened? Did it work? Yes, but she went further down Memory Lane than planned.
I'm afraid she may have forgotten more than your secrets.
Like what? Hi! I'm Prudence.
Who are you guys? Like, us? She forgot us! I could make you forget she forgot you.
Time for Mama to destroy Buttercup's friendship.
Aww, I wish my mom did fun things like this with me when I was a baby.
And with that, the orc with a fork became the orc with the spork.
Aww, again! Again! Did you guys hear? There's a storm coming.
You should probably get your little guy a raincoat from that cart over there.
Aww, Eggy's first coat.
[GRUNTS.]
Time to play "Hide and go seek," Eggy Sue.
Well, don't look at me like that.
I'll be back in a bit, here's some crayons.
Think Eggy Sue can pull off a poncho? [GIGGLES.]
Wait, where is she? I left her right there, safe and Wait, Eggy Sue's gone! Sage, have you seen our egg? Oh, sorry, I was so busy taking care of my own egg that I didn't notice Warwick leaving your little darling unattended.
I just stepped away for a second.
Tell that to your egg.
[HISSES.]
Oh, right, you can't.
You lost her.
Sage is right.
Because of you, Eggy Sue could've rolled off and joined a wild gang of deviled eggs! Hey, you weren't paying attention either.
"Think Eggy Sue can pull off a poncho?" Guess what.
No one can pull off a poncho.
My uncle Poncho invented the poncho! Now, all I have to do is find Buttercup's egg and she'll know what a good friend I am.
It's gone! Ah, I'm not a good friend.
Mr.
Wiper, please tell us there's a way to restore Prudence's memory.
There is! With one of my marvelously miraculous memory sticks! I must warn you, they're extremely expensive.
Prudie's our friend, money is no object.
To her.
If you whack your friend with a stick within one hour of wiping, her memory will be completely restored.
Now, in the biz we call that the two-ply double wipe.
You really don't hear how you sound.
Prudie, trust us, we're your friends.
Now, stand still so I can smack you! [GRUNTING.]
You know, I do have this magical roll of paper that can wipe your pain away.
- Okay, there's Prudie.
- How are we gonna get close enough to hit her with the memory stick? Don't worry, I have perfect aim.
[MAGIC TINGLING.]
This is why we don't invite you to play softball.
You followed me?! What is wrong with you weirdos?! She didn't call me a dirty thief this time, I'll take it.
If we don't fix Prudie soon, my best friend will never remember me.
Wait, I think I know how to fix this.
We're gonna make a new friend out of snow and call her Prudie! How hard did she hit you back there? So hard.
Listen, Prudie doesn't remember me, but there is someone she would definitely remember.
[MAGIC TINKLING.]
I really love the sparkly part, it gets me every time.
Eggy Sue! Ugh, Buttercup's going to fail if I don't find her egg.
It's not like it could just roll away.
Oh, it's you.
Yeah, I'm still looking for Eggy Sue.
I miss her so much.
I just keep thinking, what if she rolled into the Brunch District?! They're not supposed to be talking, why are they getting along? Look, I'm sorry I lost my cool before.
Me too.
Wanna be friends again? Ugh can you two just stop making up, you're supposed to hate each other! What? Nothing, I'm just pulling your egg.
Get it? Egg jokes.
Right? We're still doing those? Sage, tell me what you did.
Fine, I took your egg.
I was gonna give it back until I lost it.
How could you do that? I was jealous of you and Warwick.
You're supposed to be my friend.
I am.
I'm your best friend.
And nothing will ever change that.
Thanks, buddy But.
BOTH: Let's find that egg.
Hey! We're back! I was egg-proofing the throne room when this poor thing rolled in.
- It's Eggy Sue! - Our baby's home! Anyone know who lost this egg? 'Cause they're so gonna fail! Yes, they are.
That's our egg, sir.
I lost it.
What?! How can you be so careless with Sir Garegg? What are you doing? I can't let you fail because of me.
I have to take responsibility for my actions.
Gross, I actually learned responsibility.
Sage, you failed this assignment.
No, scratch that, you super failed this assignment.
- [EGG CRACKING.]
- What's happening? Look! It's hatching! [EGG CRACKING.]
It's so beautiful.
[SQUEAKING.]
Aww.
[FARTS.]
Aww.
If you freaks are in here, you're gonna eat hammer! [GASPS.]
Princess! Prudence, thank goodness you're here.
These two crazy people are trying to hit me with a stick.
Oh, no, it must be the same two nutjobs who attacked me.
The girl is a real whack-a-doo.
Maybe she was just having a stressful day, you don't know.
Can I just stay with you until the guards catch them? Of course, I'm sworn to protect the princess, no matter what.
For example [KARATE YELL.]
ARC: [GRUNTS.]
Luckily I have this magic toilet paper that wipes the pain away.
[MAGIC TINKLING.]
Oh.
Wow, it actually works.
- Say goodbye to your stick.
- Wait! He's just trying to hit you with that memory stick so you'll remember your friends.
What do you mean, remember? Everything those two said about being your friend is true.
By the way, that girl's name is Ciara and she's not a whack-a-doo.
Ciara cares about you.
How do you know that? Because I am Ciara.
[MAGIC TINKLING.]
Wait, so you're her, and she's you? Yes.
And I know you better than anyone.
You make a wish whenever the clock hits 11:11.
I do do that.
You cry every time we get down to the last fry in the basket.
Well, it's just so sad! And your favorite TV show is "The Giant Housewives of Astoria.
" You know, I still can't believe that Helga stepped on Bertha's husband.
Wow.
You do know a lot about me.
I do, and I just wish you'd trust me so I can have my bestie back.
Our bestie.
Sorry, I felt left out.
I don't know why, but I believe you guys.
[MAGIC TINKLING.]
- Ciara! - You remember me! What about me?! Of course I remember you, Kenny! Just kidding.
Oh, no.
I also remember your secrets, which are in danger because of my giant mouth.
Wait.
You said you were sworn to protect the princess no matter what, right? Absolutely.
I take it very seriously.
It's right up there with my "Everything's better with cheese" policy.
Well, if anyone ever found out the princess was secretly attending Knight School against the King's orders, she'd be in serious trouble.
And if they knew that she was helping a non-dragonblood sneak into Knight School, she'd be in even bigger trouble.
So, by keeping your secrets, I'm protecting the princess.
Then consider my giant lips officially sealed.
Just to be clear, keeping our secrets means not telling anyone about me getting punched by an elf, right? She doesn't need to tell anyone, that secret's out, girlfriend.
Hey! Hey! Hey!