Land Girls (2009) s02e01 Episode Script

Neoooow! Woo-hoo! Neoooow! It can't be.
It's a bit late, but I've got your birthday present.
Go on.
Mum? You know when it's my birthday? No.
Come on everybody, back to work.
By the left, quick march.
And I'm telling you she won't mind.
That tweed is fabulous! Just hand it over, there's a good girl.
My lady.
Is there a reason why you're purloining my dead husband's clothes, Diana? Just following the make do and mend policy, darling.
There's a little woman in Helmstead who'll turn this into the most divine skirt and jacket.
Words fail me.
You're always on at me about setting an example, not flaunting our wealth.
My wealth.
Yes, I should be grateful, shouldn't I? And speaking of fabric, I don't suppose you've spent any time acquiring the uniforms for the new land girls? I've been busy.
We'll let them work in their underwear, shall we? I'll do it.
You're always saying you'll help.
Perhaps it's time you faced the music.
Went back to your husband instead? But I can hardly leave you alone with all that you've been through.
Alone? Half the US military are here in case you hadn't noticed.
All right, I'll help more if it makes you happy.
Let's hope you do.
Otherwise I may have to pack your bags myself.
Happy birthday.
Just the one candle mind, remember there's a war on.
Still, never thought you'd make it this far, did we? There we go, there we are.
Good lad.
Oi! Come on.
What? Over the threshold.
Cos' you didn't when we got married.
Oh, don't be daft.
You leave the Pennsylvania Station 'bout a quarter to four Read a magazine and then you're in Baltimore Dinner in the diner nothing could be finer Than to have your ham and eggs in Carolina When you hear the whistle blowing eight to the bar Then you know that Tennessee is not very far Shovel all the coal in Got to keep it rolling Woo, woo Chattanooga there you are.
Hey, baby! Well, I've seen it all now.
All right sweetheart, give us a hand with my case, will you? Clear off you lot.
Haven't you got barracks to go to? OK, OK, lady.
Connie Carter? The one and only, pleased to meet you.
She's our new land girl.
Why were you kissing that Yank? Small price to pay to save walking from the station.
Right, show's over.
Come on.
Look, this was only ever a surprise visit.
I've got to get the old crate back to Condover.
Hmm, I suppose.
Il me faut bient't partir, cherie.
What was that? Been learning it.
In case I meet any French birds.
Oh! It's part of the evasion training.
Yeah, well, you can evade those French birds for a start! Give me a Coventry girl any time.
Glad to hear it.
So when do you have to go? Soon.
Ay, but you know what? I've fixed things so I can swing by the farm again tomorrow evening, before I go.
Oh, I was planning on reading my Agatha Christie.
And, er before breakfast, I expect the eggs to be collected.
Now we have a rota so it's a different girl does the honours each day.
And do you have names for all the hens? It's a working farm, not Winnie the Pooh.
Er, still won't start.
Why doesn't that surprise me? I don't know why you bought the tractor in the first place.
I wouldn't trust Vernon Storey as far as I could throw him.
Oh, I could have a look.
I used to court a mechanic.
Some of it might have rubbed off.
His oily hands certainly did.
Yes, well, you've got enough work to do, lady.
Oh, right.
Here's trouble.
Come on.
We've already had the post, haven't we? I'm not here as post mistress, child.
I'm here in my other official role.
I have been asked, on behalf of the Parish Council, to conduct an audit of livestock.
Well, you know what you can do with your audit.
Let's make a start shall we start, Mr Finch? I'll need your inventory.
We never really talked about having a squadron of our own, did we? No, war got in the way, didn't it? And when it's over? My mum was always on about grandchildren, wasn't she? Well, she'll be looking down, glad we're talking about it now.
Can you imagine us, old and wrinkly? House full of children and grandchildren.
And we're all sat around the table eating Sunday lunch.
Plates are piled high.
Everyone's asking about the time you swept me away in a Tiger Moth.
The war will just be a distant memory, but we'll never forget today, will we? I can't wait.
Well, it'll keep me going every time you go off risking your neck.
Hey, I'll always come back.
How many men have said that to their wives? Hey.
Time for you to go already? Hey, it's only au revoir.
We'll say our goodbyes tomorrow.
General Garwood.
Mr Gillespie.
It's a privilege.
Hope it wasn't a problem travelling with the gear myself.
I wanted to keep an eye on these babies all the way.
My men will take the utmost care.
They'll be stored in a secure base and I've requisitioned part of a country estate for a few weeks for testing and planning.
In Helmstead? Just outside.
A place called Hoxley Manor.
Outstanding.
Here, let me.
Is there any news concerning my son? We're pursuing a number of leads.
I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
Make it a priority, I've got to be back in Chicago in three weeks, General.
Yes, Sir.
It's nice to see they've trusted you with the wotsit the audit.
Ay, ay, must have recognised your true talents at last, eh? Open it.
Well, there's nothing Mr.
Finch! It says here your pigs went to slaughter last week, why's this pig still here? It's not a pig, it's Chamberlain.
Unhand me, sir! What breed is that pig? Child? Large white, Landrace Cross.
By the end of next week you must surrender that pig to slaughter.
And it's so cold up there I thought my face was going to freeze.
That explains why it's stuck in that smile.
Most romantic time I ever had involved an ARP warden and a blackout in Bermondsey.
What you writing? It's a secret.
So whereabouts in London are you from? Stepney.
In the East End.
Was your street bombed then? Best thing that ever happened to it.
I didn't think of it as my street.
It was just where I'd been gone a long time by then.
Here, you're not taking this down, are you? Don't want my words turning up nowhere.
Actually, I'm writing clues.
Oh, what for? I'm going to surprise Billy.
A picnic under his dad's tree.
Sounds dull.
Dull-ightful.
Romantic.
Yeah, it will be.
Billy has to work out the clues and find me.
It'd be easier to let him follow a trail of string, wouldn't it? What you going to wear? I don't know.
After the baby they all need taking out a little bit.
I might have a dress you could borrow.
And maybe a pair of nylons.
Really? Used to have a fancy fella in London.
He'd get me all sorts.
Hey, hey, my bag.
Doc, I've been looking all over for you.
Finch.
Just because a man finds himself in loud disagreement over the landlord's prices.
I need your help.
The County Show.
Is it too late to enter Chamberlain for best pig? But it's in two days time.
It's his only chance.
See, he's been given a notice for slaughter.
If he can win the County fair, he'll be considered prime breeding stock, won't he? Oh, and be exempt from a grisly end.
Clever.
So? Mine's a pint? No, the pig.
Oh.
I'm sure they'll let him enter late.
What did he want? It was a medical matter.
Don't lie to me or I'll paint you as guilty as him.
Now, I'll ask you one more time.
Has he worked it out yet? To be honest, he looks a bit confused.
I told you the clue was too difficult.
"A big tea found with an R for romance.
" That's obvious.
It is to you cos you know the answer.
Tea with an R is tree! It's tree! I know the answer.
It's your husband you've got to worry about.
You're going to have to tell him.
No, that'll take the fun out of it.
I suppose, he's got until tonight to work it out.
I hope he does.
Last time I planned something, Finch's ferret was under the bed and he spent all night trying to catch it.
Nearly forgot.
Oh, thank you so much.
They have got seams! No cold tea on your legs tonight.
So, your fella? The one in London.
What happened to him? He's still there.
I'm not.
Right, come on you lot, back to work.
This isn't going to get the hay twined, is it? And Connie, your uniform hasn't arrived yet.
So you'll have to make do till we get to the Manor.
He's going to be out there for a while.
As far as I'm concerned, you brave boys deserve to use the front door.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Thank you.
Lady Hoxley? Pleased to meet you.
That's what I call you, right? You can call me anything you like.
And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing? Mr Gillespie, I presume.
If you must smoke in my house, does it have to smell like you're burning rolled-up carpets? Ellen Hoxley.
Diana Granville.
My sister.
Who I'm sure has work to do.
It's all in hand.
Lovely to meet you, Mr Gillespie.
Excuse me, we're ready in the ops room when you are.
Business calls.
Ladies.
What do you think you're doing? Livening up this mausoleum.
So you grab it in your hand gently.
Ooh blimey.
Doesn't feel like I thought it would.
That's what they all say.
Now, between your forefinger and thumb, squeeze.
That's it.
So are you, er, doing anything special later? Just concentrate on what you're doing.
No, silly, I mean you and Bea.
Look, I'll be straight with you.
She is planning a surprise and you've got to pretend that you're surprised, even though I'm telling you about the surprise, OK? What are you talking about? She's planning a picnic! Under your dad's tree.
Well, why's she doing that? Because girls need romance.
Look, come here.
You pull her close.
Tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world.
Go on.
Pretend I'm her.
You're the most beautiful woman in the world.
Then you hook your hand around her waist.
Go on.
Now hold her close so all you can feel is her heart beat, she looks so beautiful she takes your breath away and when the moment feels right, lean in and Martin! Martin! What happened? He's not moving! Why's he not moving? Billy? It was my fault.
I opened the gate and just caught him.
Martin, sweetheart.
Is this what they call "taking the air"? It was.
Are you outside for a reason? Think I asked first.
No, you didn't.
Well, apologies if I was being kind of cryptic.
Waiting for my car.
You? The same.
Want to save gas and share a ride? No, thank you.
I'm going a different way.
Of course.
You should have asked which way I was going first for that to work.
Could be a lot worse.
Does he have a headache? Well, why don't you ask him? It hurts a bit.
And I'm dizzy.
He took quite a belt.
Didn't he, Billy? Should go in a few days.
Bit of bed, bit of rest and then he'll be playing with his building blocks, tickedy boo, right as rain.
He's not three, you know.
Love? I'm fine.
You go upstairs and lie down then.
I'll take him.
Save your legs, Joyce.
I'll do it.
Don't you think you've done enough? Joyce.
Well? It's just a little, a little concussion.
No, it seems more than that, surely? He can't even remember what happened.
Which, which, which one of us is the, is the doctor, Mrs Reeves? Hmm? Chamberlain? I understand the case has collapsed.
Your Ladyship.
How convenient they can't find the trekker.
That's one of the troubles with them.
No fixed abode.
As for Miss Morrell.
She's also proved to be untraceable.
Without anyone to dispute my version of events, there wasn't a case, your ladyship.
Your version? The truth what happened.
And you're the only one who knows.
The only one who was there in the final moments.
Yes.
Which is why I need to hear you say it.
I didn't kill your husband.
You all right, love? I'm fine.
Do you remember what happened? Erm, it's to the bathroom and back today.
Mum! You heard what Doctor Morgan said.
Now, drink your tea and read your comic.
Did you get any sleep? Thanks.
So how is he? Same.
You know there's been one of his lot in my family since my great grandfather's day.
He's the closest thing to a brother Billy's ever had.
I can't lose him, Bea.
You won't.
See, he might just seem like a pig to you.
Someone poisoned him.
Come on.
I know what I know.
So you're here on business? My sister loves to play the detective.
Mostly.
Yes.
And you must be very important? Must I? Being flown about by the military like that.
Then yes, I'm very important.
And yet you're a civilian.
You could just ask why I'm here.
And would you tell me? You don't know until you try.
For goodness sake! Mr Gillespie, why are you here? I'm head of a company.
We've got a contract to build something that everyone's very excited about.
The cocktail shaker! The proximity fuse.
It's the most amazing innovation in this whole war.
I understand it works with radio waves? OK, here's your shell.
In the old days, it'd hit the target and explode.
Not that accurate and minimal damage.
Still hurt your head, wouldn't it? With this, the end of the shell sends out radio waves, and, as it approaches the target, the waves bounce back.
And when they reach a particular frequency There's a big explosion? Right.
I do love a big bang, don't you, Jack? You look smart.
I was going to say the same.
Have you used all the coupons? It's Connie's.
What do you think? Nice.
So nice to be alone for a bit, eh? We've been called in for the night shift.
A Jerry plane came down near Condover and we've got to, got to search for survivors.
There goes my plan for tonight.
What plan? You don't need clues for everything, do you? Finest tonic known to man.
The finest gin known to man.
Thanks, doc.
Will he, erm, will he make it? Trust me, I'm a doctor.
The only place I could find was on the edge of town.
And although I booked a double room, I didn't realise I'd be sharing.
Place is infested with rodents.
Heck, they eat more room service than I do! Ghastly.
You can't stay all the way out there in that flea pit.
Well, there's nowhere else.
Believe me, I've knocked on more doors than Joseph and Mary.
Well, there is another option.
Isn't that right, Ellen? You can't be serious? The place is crawling with yanks already.
What difference will one more make? You'll love it here.
Just get my cigarettes.
You'll have to excuse my sister.
She was dropped on her head as a child.
She's one full-on dame, that's for sure.
I appreciate the offer, and if you're ever in Chicago I don't think I'll be travelling anywhere.
I'm sorry to hear about your husband.
Thank you.
You miss him? If it's any consolation, I know what you're going through.
Maybe I should take up your offer.
Stay here.
Save a lot of time.
It'd mean I could sort out everything.
What do you think? Well, I suppose we are allies.
What have I missed? Were you talking about me? Joyce may have all the excitement, but at least I've got you here all the time.
Oh, thanks.
I think.
No, I don't know what I'd do.
I mean, it's one thing dealing with the baby and living under your dad's roof when you're here, but if you went away I'd Hey, I'm not going anywhere, all right.
And I'll have that back.
Hey.
Tomorrow afternoon in the hayloft.
Don't be late.
OK, see you later.
Well, come on, I don't want to miss John.
Oh, but this place is beautiful.
In the home when I was small, I used to pretend I was a lady in a house like this.
All this space.
And the quiet.
You were in a children's home? We can't all have parents, you know.
You look lovely, now come on.
And if you require any laundry, please leave it out for Sarah.
Swell.
Mr Gillespie? I don't want you to feel obliged.
Your sister backing you into a corner over this.
As long as you're house trained, I'm sure it'll be fine.
Ah, Joyce, I wondered if I might have a word? Yes, your ladyship? I was going to send a messenger, but you'll save me the trip.
So, are you a land girl? What gave it away? Have you been here for long? Long enough to get back ache.
Are there just the two of you? I thought you Yanks knew everything.
There's a lot I've got to learn.
John's not coming.
He's been called away a day early.
You'll see him soon though, eh? You don't understand.
We never got to say goodbye.
Afternoon, sleepy head.
Did you find anything? Just a burnt out Jerry plane.
Probably no survivors.
That's one bit of good news.
What do you mean? Martin has started to remember.
Well, bits of it.
He's chirping on about being outside the cow shed.
Have you seen my dad? With the pig.
Is he well enough to compete? I hope he's well enough to win.
Otherwise Oh, I knew I should have put up that no trespassing sign.
Where are you taking that pig? Mind your own.
Can't take him to the show.
He's ill.
Oh, and what would you know about that then? I don't know what you're talking about.
Come a cropper now, haven't you? I'm not through yet.
Give it up, woman.
Not letting you cheat people out of food.
Stealing from others, and in times of need.
If those judges knew he didn't officially exist, they wouldn't let him enter.
There's no time to lose.
I got to get there before she does! Come on, come on! Is that one of your dad's? We'll have to write to him won't we, tell him about your little accident? You read it to me, go on.
No, you do it.
I can't see it.
Chamberlain.
Pasture Farm.
Ah yes, late entry.
Go on, go on, lad.
Can be a bit stubborn sometimes.
Check the details.
Back back.
Pasture Farm.
Five large white.
One large white.
Well, well, well.
Why can't I go out? Cos your mum said.
Now get your laughing gear round this.
Has anyone seen Billy? You have used up all the rations in the larder, haven't you? We live on a farm.
And a little gift for after.
Thanks.
No, it's, "Gee, thanks!" You kissed Billy! Settle, settle down.
Shh, settle down! And here to announce the winner, the generous lady who has allowed us to pitch our tent on her land.
Lady Hoxley.
Come on lad.
Come on Not now, son.
And the winner is Chamberlain.
You kissed my husband? Why would I want to do that? Did you, or didn't you? All right, but it was just a peck! You keep your filthy hands off him.
I was trying to help you, stupid.
Come on.
Oh, go and take a running jump at yourself! You are making a big mistake, girl.
Stop it, stop it right now.
Stop it.
Do you both want to be digging silage till the end of the war? You stay away from him.
Where's Martin? I am so proud of you.
Not putting him on your inventory.
That could just be slap dash book keeping.
But actually lying in the Parish records.
That could get you put away for quite some time.
You told me he died at birth.
It's no big crime.
We didn't think he'd pull through.
Poorly little thing he was.
What are you going to do about it? It's not what I'm going to do.
It's what you're going to do.
From this day forth, you will dance to the Lord's tune.
No more drinking.
No more gambling.
No missing church.
No slothfulness.
From now on, you lead a pure life.
You trade so much as a button and I will send the inventory to the authorities.
You'll be inside, and he'll be pork chops.
Did you find him? He's ill and you were supposed to keep him in.
Why's it always my fault? Bea went for me but you don't crib at her.
Because she didn't hurt my son and lie about it, did she? You had better buck your ideas up, girl, or you're going to have me to deal with.
I've half a mind to send you straight back to London.
Please don't do that.
Give me one good reason.
You won't hear another peep out of me.
Good, well, we'll start tomorrow with a clean slate.
I've got to find my son.
I lost my son.
My only son.
He's all I had.
I'm sorry.
He didn't come back from the battle at Kasserine Pass.
Truth is, I could have sent someone else to deliver the munitions, but I wanted to see Helmstead.
See where he was first stationed, breathe the same air.
The same place father and son.
Here at separate times.
Like different grooves on the same 78.
If there's anything I can do? Maybe.
He may have got a local girl pregnant.
But I don't know whether she kept the baby or even where she is now.
All I know is that at some point she was here.
And she was a land girl.
Bea? There's something I need to tell you.
I already know.
Where do you want to start? The fact that you lied to me? That you lied to Esther? Or the fact that your head can be turned by any woman who isn't me? Come on, William.
According to our source, the fight concerned a local girl.
Does your source know who she is? He's not the most reliable.
Drink problem.
At the moment, that drunk is the only lead I've got.
So you lean on him.
Find out if he knows something or whether he's just angling for a free drink.
Do whatever it takes.
Do you understand? Yes, sir.
Hey, he only went and won! Good to know your priorities.
He's obviously ahead of me in the pecking order.
Don't be daft.
I tried to talk to you earlier, but, but you didn't have time, did you? Yeah, well, I had things on me mind.
That makes two of us.
Well, tell me now.
Son? I got my papers today.
I've been called up.
Martin? Martin? Hello? Is someone there? While we're away we dream The way all soldiers do We dream of loving you While we're away We dream of loving you While we're Away.