Magnum, P.I. (1980) s02e01 Episode Script
Billy Joe Bob
Excuse me, buddy.
You speak English? Yeah, like a native.
I'm looking for a Mr Thomas Magnum.
- He's inside.
- Much obliged.
- You can't go in.
It's for members only.
- It's important.
I got to talk to Mr Magnum.
You heard Teoki.
Members only.
Sorry about that.
You and me both, partner.
Excuse me.
(Magnum) $100? TC, I agreed to pay you $100 an hour.
But we were only up for 15 minutes.
(TC) No, no, no.
You agreed to pay me $100 an hour, or any part thereof.
(Magnum) 'Any part thereof'? I never said 'any part thereof.
' It's my standard agreement.
- Excuse me.
Are you Mr Magnum? - Yeah.
- You don't look like a private eye.
- (Chuckles) - Private investigator.
- My name's Billy Joe Little.
I want to hire you to help me find my little sister, Carol Ann.
That's him.
Right over there.
You come along quietly now.
We don't want any more trouble.
Rick, I'm having a private conversation with him.
Have it in the street.
This guy busted Harland's jaw.
(Billy Joe) He got in my way.
(Rick) Cowpoke, get out.
(Billy Joe) Just a minute - Where I come from, a man - Billy Joel Why don't you and I just mosey on outside and we can talk about this under the wide open sky? Come on, pal.
And, you, don't come in here dressed again like that.
That's your car? You listen to me.
I was all buttercups and daisies in there but those are my friends and I don't like getting them in trouble because of me.
Harland's a nice guy.
You can't go around busting people in the jaw.
- They wouldn't let me in.
- Phone me.
- I didn't have your number.
- Look it up.
Give me my picture.
Thank you.
What's the 'S' stand for? Shamrock.
Shamrock, Texas.
That's where we're from, Carol Ann and me.
She's a cheerleader in our high school.
She's just about everything.
She's got a pretty voice.
Used to sing the national anthem before football games.
She even said one of the nightclubs had a sign that said her name held over by popular demand.
It was really something.
We didn't know where Hawaii was.
Here she was, a big hit.
What happened? Wellher letters started kinda sounding sad.
It wasn't exactly in the words.
It was more in between.
Then one day she wrote she was coming home.
Just like that.
And that is the last we heard from her.
How long ago was that? About two months ago.
I went to the police.
They said all they could do is just take her name and put it on a list.
After going to the Federales, I figured it was time for a little Texas-style action.
And here I am.
But, Magnum, I don't know where to start.
And that's why I came looking for you.
OK.
I'll tell you what.
I'll give it a try.
But we're gonna do it my way.
That's fine with me.
Thank you.
'Billy Joe knew a bar where Carol Ann had worked.
'He forgot to tell me he'd already made contact with the owner.
' Get out of here, cowboy, before I blow you out of here.
That's what you said last time, bubba.
Why don't you just wait in the car so that I can talk to this gentleman? Go onl - How's the nose? ls it broken? - I don't think so.
Just sore like me.
What did you do to make him punch you, anyway? He was looking for his sister.
It's been two years, and we get a lot of dollies in here.
He showed me her picture, and I remember her.
What a lousy singer.
- What she did to Cole Porter was criminal.
- That's why he hit you? No.
I told him his sister was coming on to any guy that could move her career.
- Then he hit me.
- You said that about his sister? - He asked.
I can't hide the truth.
- What happened to her? Probably found herself a sugar daddy.
They usually do.
Well, you got an address? What's in your personnel file? Personnel file? What am l, the Bank of America? lf she worked for you, you must have sent her a W-2 form for her taxes.
lf you didn't, I could probably get the lRS to supply you with the proper forms for the last couple of years, or longer.
Get out of here.
I got cash customers to take care of.
Ain't no way I'm takin' some crazy cowboy to Maui.
I'm a cash customer.
OK, so I'm a little short right now.
But I'll pay you as soon as he pays me.
(TC) I've heard that one before, and I ain't buying it.
TC, the man is looking for his long-lost sister.
What's that compared to a few lousy bucks? A few lousy bucks? More like $200 for gas and oil.
Plus $100 for the business I'd be losing, plus another OK, a couple of hundred lousy bucks.
What difference does it make? Look, I got a terrible feeling about this case.
Maybe his sister is into something that he wouldn't want to know about.
- That's why I got to get him out of the way.
- Like what? Like, maybe she's a hooker.
- His sister? - That's right.
Oh You know what that would do to a guy like that? That's why if you take him to Maui for a couple of hours, I can talk to his sister and get her to clean up her act before he sees her.
Yeah.
OK.
But this ain't no charitable run.
You're gonna have to pay for this.
Of course I will.
I told him that time.
(Yelling) Sagare.
Some of our people tell me that Carol Ann's brother is in Honolulu and he's hired a detective to find her.
- Who is this detective? - Thomas Magnum.
- ls he competent? - Hard to tell.
Not much known about him.
- What has he found out? - Nothing yet.
I want it kept that way.
Assign two of your best men.
This is to be first priority.
And I want to be kept informed.
Hai.
Wakarimashita.
(Magnum) 'The bartender turned out to be very helpful.
'He had a file on Carol Ann but he needed a little encouragement to show it to me.
'Unfortunately, Carol Ann's address only increased my suspicions.
'You have to be more than a lounge singer 'to afford the 12th floor of the Kahala Towers.
' (Rings door bell) 'I couldn't help admiring Carol Ann.
'lf she'd gone into the oldest profession, she'd at least done well for herself.
'Everything from the stereo to the view was class A.
'Carol Ann had managed to come a long way from Hotel Street.
' 'Hi, babe, sweet Louie here.
Let's party.
Call the whipped cream lady, too.
' 'Hello.
This is Dr Sarador.
Ogatha and l would like very much to see you.
'Please bring the redhead' (Door opens) Police officers.
You're under arrest.
Don't you think the handcuffs are a bit much? Not when it comes to murder.
Murder? Whose murder? Carol Ann Little.
(Magnum) 'Carol Ann's body had been found in the Ala Wai Canal.
'The police couldn't hold me.
'I'd been in her apartment but so had a hundred other guys.
'And they weren't private investigators.
'The thing that bothered me at the moment was how I'd break the news to Billy Joe.
'It's never easy, but I thought it would be best if I stuck to the fact she was dead 'and didn't elaborate.
' - Did you have any luck? - Nope.
Me either.
It was an empty buildin' out there.
- I know.
- You know? You know it was an empty building, and you sent me over there anyway? Hold it.
Hold it.
- Carol Ann's dead.
- What? Somebody ran her down while she was out jogging.
The police are pretty sure it's murder.
I'm sorry.
- How long ago? - Two months.
'The next two days were lost, at least as far as Billy Joe was concerned.
'After I explained about Carol Ann, 'he went on the biggest drunk the islands had seen since V-J Day.
'I just stayed out of his way.
I figure I owed him something.
' You OK? I want to find them, Magnum.
- Billy Joe, you can't.
- Why not? - Because this isn't Dodge City.
- I cannot just do nothing when there's people out there that took my sister and turned her into aprostitute.
- Where did you hear that? - I saw the police reports.
You knew it all the time, didn't you? Look, Billy Joe.
She was alone, broke and hungry.
You really - Don't say she did it on her own.
- I didn't say that.
- I'm just saying it's possible.
- It ain't possible.
Carol Ann wasn't the kind to do those kind of things and I know that.
I think we should let the police handle this.
And the best thing we can do for you is get you on a plane back to Texas.
ls that what you would do if it was your sister? The first thing you gotta do is put the Gs back on your l-N-Gs.
You know what I mean? Otherwise, it won't wash.
Did you hear me? I really am tryin'.
But this goin' undercover is a lot tougher than I thought.
'Trying.
' l-N-G.
Eloha, pardner.
Alohal 'Eloha'l (? Gentle piano jazz) - All of them aren't - Some are, and some aren't.
Now, look, just watch yourself.
Let me handle this.
And remember, you're a local guy.
Bartender, I would like a Scotch on the rocks for myself and a Tom Collins for my friend.
- (Barman) You bet.
- Thank you.
- ls anyone sitting here? - No, but - May I sit? - We'd die if you didn't, darlin'.
But I'll tell you, this stool here is the worst one at the bar.
- Why don't you sit on this one here? - Thank you.
There you go.
Very nice.
- My name is Judy.
- How'd you like to have a Tom Collins? - Thank you.
- Doctor, another one here.
You're not from around here, are you? No, ma'am, I'm not.
I'm from what they call the outer islands.
Southernmost part of the chain, in case you detect an accent.
Darlin', what about we get down to brass tacks here? William? Could I see you for just a second? Would you excuse us? Thank you.
Excuse me, darlin'.
- What? - Listen to me.
You remember when I said some are and some aren't? - Yeah.
- Well, that one 'aren't.
' I live here.
I like it here.
I wanna keep on living here.
Listen to mel Please, just be quiet.
Let me handle it.
- And remember, you're a local guy.
- Sorry.
I just I was sure.
Don't worry about a thing, I will smooth everything out.
Darlin', I think there's somethin' you should know.
You see, you're not exactly my buddy over here's type.
Billy Joe.
Maybe you ought to leave him alone.
What do you say, darlin'? - I had to do that.
We got work to do.
- Will you shut up? Will you just let me handle this, please? 'It took an hour and three watered-down drinks 'before we finally had another bite.
'But at least this time, it was the right kind of fish.
' You look like two lonesome cowboys around here so we thought we'd just mosey on in.
And we're just plumb tickled to death that you did, ma'am.
Just sit yourself down, you pretty little heifers.
I'm Roy.
And this here's my partner in the oil business, Clarence.
You can call me Billy Joe if you want to.
That's my nickname.
- You're Texans.
- Yes, ma'am, and proud of it.
You bet.
I'm Lilly, and this is Mary.
Now that we got that out of the way, what do y'all want to drink? Let's don't waste your money.
Why don't we get some and take it back to your room? Now, hold on a second.
I am working up a powerful thirst.
lf you want to keep us all night, it's OK, but it's gonna cost you.
Don't you worry your pretty little heads off.
Money is one thing there is plenty of, darlin'.
Then maybe you'd show us some of that money you Texans are so famous for.
Darlin', you know us Texans cannot talk business without a drink in our hand.
I'm beginning to smell a setup.
No, we just want to relax and get to know you first.
I'll level with you.
My sister is in your line of work.
You might know her.
Carol Ann.
- What are you doing? - I just knew it.
This is important.
Somebody has murdered her.
I've got a picture right here.
I've seen her around.
She's worked around here before, I think.
Yeah.
About a year ago.
Who'd she work for? Who put her in here? How about you? We're not crazy.
lf we start talking, we'll end up just like her.
- We've got to go.
- Hold on.
- Please let go.
I don't want any trouble.
- We just want a name.
Please, just give us a name.
Please.
Ito-san.
- You know this guy? - Shhl Everybody does.
He's the Al Capone of Hawaii.
He was deported years ago but he got the deportment order squashed.
- Naze? Doshite? - Kocchi he Koi.
We got them in this trouble.
We better do somethin'.
Yeah.
(Magnum) Hi, guysl - We don't want to go with you.
- What? We can't run, we work for them.
Please go away.
Here.
(Yells) Go on, take him.
- He's got a couple of little bitty sticks.
- Are you nuts? I don't suppose you care to discuss this? It's all right.
Everything is going to be OK.
Billy Joe, you all right? (Sighs) (Groans) Are you all right? (Groans) I've been better.
- What was them things? - They're nunchucks.
They're deadly.
lf you had waited, I could've warned you.
That's all right.
We got our man.
His name is Mr Oh Sun.
We got a name, that's about it.
And his name isn't Sun.
It's Ito.
It's a title that you put at the end - san.
It's form Never mind.
Whatever.
You said he was a vice lord.
I say we go find him right now.
There you go, acting like John Wayne again.
- Backin' out on me? - I don't believe you.
A name comes up and you're ready to lynch him.
You do what you want, I'm going to find him.
- As soon as I go home and get my gun.
- What? Where? You got a gun? Where will you find him? You don't know where to look.
- I'll find him.
- Great.
I swore I knocked that guy out.
'I had a plan but it couldn't be carried out with Billy Joe around.
'I figured if I got to Higgins in his sleep, he might be drowsy enough to help.
'There was something in the air.
And it wasn't jasmine.
' Ughl (Door bell) (Sniffs) Magnum.
What is it? - It's 6:37 in the morning.
- I know that, Higgins.
But this is important.
I need a big favour.
Why do I feel like the fly who walked into the spider's web? Nonsense.
What is it you need? I need you to keep Joe here, all day if you have to, till I get back.
Consider it done.
Just like that? No? As you may have noticed, I've fired the grounds keeper.
Until I can find a successor, I'd like you to assume some of the responsibilities.
- I don't know anything about gardening.
- The kind of work I have in mind requires no intelligence whatsoever.
Like what? Like distributing 1 ,500 pounds of recycled vegetation that was delivered yesterday.
Recycled vegetation? What do you mean? Recycled how? Through a cow.
I always feel so much better after a shower.
Magnum? Magnuml He must be out there workin' on his suntan again.
- Magnuml - (Barking) Magnuml You already know who I am and who I'm working for so let's just skip the preliminaries.
You have five minutes.
You killed Carol Ann Little and we're going to nail you for it.
Certainly, you have better things to do with your time, Mr Magnum.
Carol Ann Little was nothing more than a common tramp.
That's not true.
- She was my client's sister.
- You may save me the sentimentality.
She was greedy and ambitious, but lazy.
Hardly a compatible combination.
So she resorted to making money the easy way.
And you were only too glad to take a cut.
You will not prove that.
(Chuckles) I already have proof.
Proof she worked for you and proof you killed her.
This is Carol Ann's diary.
It's fascinating, especially near the end.
She was petrified someone was going to kill her and she's quite clear as to who and why.
Who would believe the word of a prostitute? Against a drug-pushing pimp? A whole lot of people.
How much do you want for it? What makes you think I want to sell? Why else would you come here? Well, we had considered it if the money was right.
To avoid the publicity and a possibletrial, I'm willing to pay, say, $10,000.
You'd pay more than that to your laers.
Say 50.
- You play high stakes, Magnum.
- I got all the cards.
Do you? Why don't I just kill you and take the diary? You don't think I'd be stupid enough to bring the real thing, do you? All right.
50,000.
I have to talk it over with my client.
But I'll get back to you.
lf you're as smart as I think you are, Magnum you will be back here with the diary in 24 hours.
'My trip to Ito's had not been settling.
'I came away pretty sure he had killed Carol Ann.
'Why else would he care about the diary? 'I was also pretty sure he'd try and kill me rather than pay for it.
'You see, I have an uncanny knack for painting myself into corners.
' Do you mind taking me downtown to the police station? I'd appreciate it if you'd handcuff me, too.
You're some kind of wise guy.
(Magnum) I'm getting a little tired of the silent treatment.
Your partner is waiting for me at the airport.
Are you gonna charge me or what? No one's charging you with anything.
This trip is purely educational.
Well, howdy, Mr Magnum.
I'm Carol Ann Little.
Doggies, you out there? Come on in, doggies.
Come on inl (Growling) Bye-byel (Snarling and barking) (Cop) We had to pretend she was dead.
She's testifying for us against Ito.
She witnessed the murder of two men.
One of them, Ito did it himself.
We got him, Magnum - if we can just keep you out of our way.
Carol Ann is ready to testify.
She is our only witness and will testify.
- Did he do this? - Yeah.
- I'm a friend of Billy Joe's.
- They told me about you.
I guess I don't much resemble the sweet thing my brother told you about.
Yeah, Ito did it.
Right after I told him that I was leaving the islands.
I'd been his mistress for a while, so I know a lot about his business.
Too much for him to let me go.
So he ran me down and left me for dead.
Where's Billy Joe? I'd like to see him.
He's at my place.
I'll call him.
How much does he know about me, I mean, and everything? - He knows everything, Carol.
- Oh, damn.
Listen, he's just not so perfect himself.
There are a dozen guys on the island he hasn't punched or threatened to punch.
That sounds like him.
That's my Pickles, all right.
Pickles? (Telephone) (Barks, whimpers) - Yes, what is it? - Higgins? ls that you? Your cowboy friend has escaped and stolen the Ferrari.
You were supposed to be watching him.
I know.
Honour demands I take full responsibility.
- 'And I do.
' - Bye, Higgins.
I think Billy Joe's on his way to Ito's.
- Get out an APB on that red Ferrari.
- You got it.
Check the charter services.
Billy Joe knows Ito's place is on Maui.
- That's where he's heading.
- Notifying them won't do any good.
- He'll just take what he wants.
- What? Well, he can fly just about anything.
He's a crop duster back home.
Didn't anybody tell you that? Carol Ann, Billy Joe is full of surprises.
(Engine note rising) All right.
(Helicopter approaching) That should be Magnum.
You have your instructions.
I make sure to get the diary and then kill him.
Ike.
- Howdy.
- Oh! Hey ! Where is Ito? Lady, where is Ito-san? 'Billy Joe had taken TC's chopper, which wasn't gonna put me in real solid with TC.
'What worried me even more was Billy Joe's sense of frontier justice.
'I just hoped we got there in time to stop him.
' Sayonara, darling.
Let's go for a little walk.
Nanimono da? - Who are you? - My name's Little.
Billy Joe Bob Little.
And you have corrupted your last young girl.
So you might as well go ahead and say your prayers.
I have no quarrel with you.
I used to have a baby sister called Carol Ann Little.
She was so pretty.
They used to say she got all the looks in the family.
They also used to say I got all the mean.
There he is.
It's TC's chopper.
He's there already.
(Wind chimes jingle) I have money.
I'll make you rich.
- Tell me all about it, pardner.
- I'll do anything.
Billy Joel Don't do it.
Magnum, get out of here now.
This is not your concern any more.
Your sister's alive.
She's alive.
You see, she's alive.
Magnum, make him let me down.
Don't try it.
I'm not gonna kill you cos I like you.
But I can put a piece of lead in you to slow you down.
You can hang around, visit.
It'll take me a minute to pull this chair out from under Mr Ito.
She's alive, I swear it.
You tricked me before.
You think I'm some kind of a hick.
Picklesl - Let him go, Pickles.
- Pickles.
- Where is she, Magnum? - She's OK, Billy.
She's with the police and wants to see you.
They'll take you to her.
It's over now.
Higgins, what are you doing? We had an agreement.
I didn't fulfil my part, so I can't expect you to.
- Therefore, I am spreading manure.
- But you hate that kind of work.
The fertilizer must be distributed now for the lawn to have sufficient nitrogen.
Gee, I feel awful.
Sure we had a deal, but so what if you didn't keep up your end? We're still friends, aren't we? Look, I know this isn't your kind of work.
Since you're in a hurry and you're doing it for the lawn, I want you to know I'll be thinking what a wonderful guy you are the whole time I'm swimming.
You speak English? Yeah, like a native.
I'm looking for a Mr Thomas Magnum.
- He's inside.
- Much obliged.
- You can't go in.
It's for members only.
- It's important.
I got to talk to Mr Magnum.
You heard Teoki.
Members only.
Sorry about that.
You and me both, partner.
Excuse me.
(Magnum) $100? TC, I agreed to pay you $100 an hour.
But we were only up for 15 minutes.
(TC) No, no, no.
You agreed to pay me $100 an hour, or any part thereof.
(Magnum) 'Any part thereof'? I never said 'any part thereof.
' It's my standard agreement.
- Excuse me.
Are you Mr Magnum? - Yeah.
- You don't look like a private eye.
- (Chuckles) - Private investigator.
- My name's Billy Joe Little.
I want to hire you to help me find my little sister, Carol Ann.
That's him.
Right over there.
You come along quietly now.
We don't want any more trouble.
Rick, I'm having a private conversation with him.
Have it in the street.
This guy busted Harland's jaw.
(Billy Joe) He got in my way.
(Rick) Cowpoke, get out.
(Billy Joe) Just a minute - Where I come from, a man - Billy Joel Why don't you and I just mosey on outside and we can talk about this under the wide open sky? Come on, pal.
And, you, don't come in here dressed again like that.
That's your car? You listen to me.
I was all buttercups and daisies in there but those are my friends and I don't like getting them in trouble because of me.
Harland's a nice guy.
You can't go around busting people in the jaw.
- They wouldn't let me in.
- Phone me.
- I didn't have your number.
- Look it up.
Give me my picture.
Thank you.
What's the 'S' stand for? Shamrock.
Shamrock, Texas.
That's where we're from, Carol Ann and me.
She's a cheerleader in our high school.
She's just about everything.
She's got a pretty voice.
Used to sing the national anthem before football games.
She even said one of the nightclubs had a sign that said her name held over by popular demand.
It was really something.
We didn't know where Hawaii was.
Here she was, a big hit.
What happened? Wellher letters started kinda sounding sad.
It wasn't exactly in the words.
It was more in between.
Then one day she wrote she was coming home.
Just like that.
And that is the last we heard from her.
How long ago was that? About two months ago.
I went to the police.
They said all they could do is just take her name and put it on a list.
After going to the Federales, I figured it was time for a little Texas-style action.
And here I am.
But, Magnum, I don't know where to start.
And that's why I came looking for you.
OK.
I'll tell you what.
I'll give it a try.
But we're gonna do it my way.
That's fine with me.
Thank you.
'Billy Joe knew a bar where Carol Ann had worked.
'He forgot to tell me he'd already made contact with the owner.
' Get out of here, cowboy, before I blow you out of here.
That's what you said last time, bubba.
Why don't you just wait in the car so that I can talk to this gentleman? Go onl - How's the nose? ls it broken? - I don't think so.
Just sore like me.
What did you do to make him punch you, anyway? He was looking for his sister.
It's been two years, and we get a lot of dollies in here.
He showed me her picture, and I remember her.
What a lousy singer.
- What she did to Cole Porter was criminal.
- That's why he hit you? No.
I told him his sister was coming on to any guy that could move her career.
- Then he hit me.
- You said that about his sister? - He asked.
I can't hide the truth.
- What happened to her? Probably found herself a sugar daddy.
They usually do.
Well, you got an address? What's in your personnel file? Personnel file? What am l, the Bank of America? lf she worked for you, you must have sent her a W-2 form for her taxes.
lf you didn't, I could probably get the lRS to supply you with the proper forms for the last couple of years, or longer.
Get out of here.
I got cash customers to take care of.
Ain't no way I'm takin' some crazy cowboy to Maui.
I'm a cash customer.
OK, so I'm a little short right now.
But I'll pay you as soon as he pays me.
(TC) I've heard that one before, and I ain't buying it.
TC, the man is looking for his long-lost sister.
What's that compared to a few lousy bucks? A few lousy bucks? More like $200 for gas and oil.
Plus $100 for the business I'd be losing, plus another OK, a couple of hundred lousy bucks.
What difference does it make? Look, I got a terrible feeling about this case.
Maybe his sister is into something that he wouldn't want to know about.
- That's why I got to get him out of the way.
- Like what? Like, maybe she's a hooker.
- His sister? - That's right.
Oh You know what that would do to a guy like that? That's why if you take him to Maui for a couple of hours, I can talk to his sister and get her to clean up her act before he sees her.
Yeah.
OK.
But this ain't no charitable run.
You're gonna have to pay for this.
Of course I will.
I told him that time.
(Yelling) Sagare.
Some of our people tell me that Carol Ann's brother is in Honolulu and he's hired a detective to find her.
- Who is this detective? - Thomas Magnum.
- ls he competent? - Hard to tell.
Not much known about him.
- What has he found out? - Nothing yet.
I want it kept that way.
Assign two of your best men.
This is to be first priority.
And I want to be kept informed.
Hai.
Wakarimashita.
(Magnum) 'The bartender turned out to be very helpful.
'He had a file on Carol Ann but he needed a little encouragement to show it to me.
'Unfortunately, Carol Ann's address only increased my suspicions.
'You have to be more than a lounge singer 'to afford the 12th floor of the Kahala Towers.
' (Rings door bell) 'I couldn't help admiring Carol Ann.
'lf she'd gone into the oldest profession, she'd at least done well for herself.
'Everything from the stereo to the view was class A.
'Carol Ann had managed to come a long way from Hotel Street.
' 'Hi, babe, sweet Louie here.
Let's party.
Call the whipped cream lady, too.
' 'Hello.
This is Dr Sarador.
Ogatha and l would like very much to see you.
'Please bring the redhead' (Door opens) Police officers.
You're under arrest.
Don't you think the handcuffs are a bit much? Not when it comes to murder.
Murder? Whose murder? Carol Ann Little.
(Magnum) 'Carol Ann's body had been found in the Ala Wai Canal.
'The police couldn't hold me.
'I'd been in her apartment but so had a hundred other guys.
'And they weren't private investigators.
'The thing that bothered me at the moment was how I'd break the news to Billy Joe.
'It's never easy, but I thought it would be best if I stuck to the fact she was dead 'and didn't elaborate.
' - Did you have any luck? - Nope.
Me either.
It was an empty buildin' out there.
- I know.
- You know? You know it was an empty building, and you sent me over there anyway? Hold it.
Hold it.
- Carol Ann's dead.
- What? Somebody ran her down while she was out jogging.
The police are pretty sure it's murder.
I'm sorry.
- How long ago? - Two months.
'The next two days were lost, at least as far as Billy Joe was concerned.
'After I explained about Carol Ann, 'he went on the biggest drunk the islands had seen since V-J Day.
'I just stayed out of his way.
I figure I owed him something.
' You OK? I want to find them, Magnum.
- Billy Joe, you can't.
- Why not? - Because this isn't Dodge City.
- I cannot just do nothing when there's people out there that took my sister and turned her into aprostitute.
- Where did you hear that? - I saw the police reports.
You knew it all the time, didn't you? Look, Billy Joe.
She was alone, broke and hungry.
You really - Don't say she did it on her own.
- I didn't say that.
- I'm just saying it's possible.
- It ain't possible.
Carol Ann wasn't the kind to do those kind of things and I know that.
I think we should let the police handle this.
And the best thing we can do for you is get you on a plane back to Texas.
ls that what you would do if it was your sister? The first thing you gotta do is put the Gs back on your l-N-Gs.
You know what I mean? Otherwise, it won't wash.
Did you hear me? I really am tryin'.
But this goin' undercover is a lot tougher than I thought.
'Trying.
' l-N-G.
Eloha, pardner.
Alohal 'Eloha'l (? Gentle piano jazz) - All of them aren't - Some are, and some aren't.
Now, look, just watch yourself.
Let me handle this.
And remember, you're a local guy.
Bartender, I would like a Scotch on the rocks for myself and a Tom Collins for my friend.
- (Barman) You bet.
- Thank you.
- ls anyone sitting here? - No, but - May I sit? - We'd die if you didn't, darlin'.
But I'll tell you, this stool here is the worst one at the bar.
- Why don't you sit on this one here? - Thank you.
There you go.
Very nice.
- My name is Judy.
- How'd you like to have a Tom Collins? - Thank you.
- Doctor, another one here.
You're not from around here, are you? No, ma'am, I'm not.
I'm from what they call the outer islands.
Southernmost part of the chain, in case you detect an accent.
Darlin', what about we get down to brass tacks here? William? Could I see you for just a second? Would you excuse us? Thank you.
Excuse me, darlin'.
- What? - Listen to me.
You remember when I said some are and some aren't? - Yeah.
- Well, that one 'aren't.
' I live here.
I like it here.
I wanna keep on living here.
Listen to mel Please, just be quiet.
Let me handle it.
- And remember, you're a local guy.
- Sorry.
I just I was sure.
Don't worry about a thing, I will smooth everything out.
Darlin', I think there's somethin' you should know.
You see, you're not exactly my buddy over here's type.
Billy Joe.
Maybe you ought to leave him alone.
What do you say, darlin'? - I had to do that.
We got work to do.
- Will you shut up? Will you just let me handle this, please? 'It took an hour and three watered-down drinks 'before we finally had another bite.
'But at least this time, it was the right kind of fish.
' You look like two lonesome cowboys around here so we thought we'd just mosey on in.
And we're just plumb tickled to death that you did, ma'am.
Just sit yourself down, you pretty little heifers.
I'm Roy.
And this here's my partner in the oil business, Clarence.
You can call me Billy Joe if you want to.
That's my nickname.
- You're Texans.
- Yes, ma'am, and proud of it.
You bet.
I'm Lilly, and this is Mary.
Now that we got that out of the way, what do y'all want to drink? Let's don't waste your money.
Why don't we get some and take it back to your room? Now, hold on a second.
I am working up a powerful thirst.
lf you want to keep us all night, it's OK, but it's gonna cost you.
Don't you worry your pretty little heads off.
Money is one thing there is plenty of, darlin'.
Then maybe you'd show us some of that money you Texans are so famous for.
Darlin', you know us Texans cannot talk business without a drink in our hand.
I'm beginning to smell a setup.
No, we just want to relax and get to know you first.
I'll level with you.
My sister is in your line of work.
You might know her.
Carol Ann.
- What are you doing? - I just knew it.
This is important.
Somebody has murdered her.
I've got a picture right here.
I've seen her around.
She's worked around here before, I think.
Yeah.
About a year ago.
Who'd she work for? Who put her in here? How about you? We're not crazy.
lf we start talking, we'll end up just like her.
- We've got to go.
- Hold on.
- Please let go.
I don't want any trouble.
- We just want a name.
Please, just give us a name.
Please.
Ito-san.
- You know this guy? - Shhl Everybody does.
He's the Al Capone of Hawaii.
He was deported years ago but he got the deportment order squashed.
- Naze? Doshite? - Kocchi he Koi.
We got them in this trouble.
We better do somethin'.
Yeah.
(Magnum) Hi, guysl - We don't want to go with you.
- What? We can't run, we work for them.
Please go away.
Here.
(Yells) Go on, take him.
- He's got a couple of little bitty sticks.
- Are you nuts? I don't suppose you care to discuss this? It's all right.
Everything is going to be OK.
Billy Joe, you all right? (Sighs) (Groans) Are you all right? (Groans) I've been better.
- What was them things? - They're nunchucks.
They're deadly.
lf you had waited, I could've warned you.
That's all right.
We got our man.
His name is Mr Oh Sun.
We got a name, that's about it.
And his name isn't Sun.
It's Ito.
It's a title that you put at the end - san.
It's form Never mind.
Whatever.
You said he was a vice lord.
I say we go find him right now.
There you go, acting like John Wayne again.
- Backin' out on me? - I don't believe you.
A name comes up and you're ready to lynch him.
You do what you want, I'm going to find him.
- As soon as I go home and get my gun.
- What? Where? You got a gun? Where will you find him? You don't know where to look.
- I'll find him.
- Great.
I swore I knocked that guy out.
'I had a plan but it couldn't be carried out with Billy Joe around.
'I figured if I got to Higgins in his sleep, he might be drowsy enough to help.
'There was something in the air.
And it wasn't jasmine.
' Ughl (Door bell) (Sniffs) Magnum.
What is it? - It's 6:37 in the morning.
- I know that, Higgins.
But this is important.
I need a big favour.
Why do I feel like the fly who walked into the spider's web? Nonsense.
What is it you need? I need you to keep Joe here, all day if you have to, till I get back.
Consider it done.
Just like that? No? As you may have noticed, I've fired the grounds keeper.
Until I can find a successor, I'd like you to assume some of the responsibilities.
- I don't know anything about gardening.
- The kind of work I have in mind requires no intelligence whatsoever.
Like what? Like distributing 1 ,500 pounds of recycled vegetation that was delivered yesterday.
Recycled vegetation? What do you mean? Recycled how? Through a cow.
I always feel so much better after a shower.
Magnum? Magnuml He must be out there workin' on his suntan again.
- Magnuml - (Barking) Magnuml You already know who I am and who I'm working for so let's just skip the preliminaries.
You have five minutes.
You killed Carol Ann Little and we're going to nail you for it.
Certainly, you have better things to do with your time, Mr Magnum.
Carol Ann Little was nothing more than a common tramp.
That's not true.
- She was my client's sister.
- You may save me the sentimentality.
She was greedy and ambitious, but lazy.
Hardly a compatible combination.
So she resorted to making money the easy way.
And you were only too glad to take a cut.
You will not prove that.
(Chuckles) I already have proof.
Proof she worked for you and proof you killed her.
This is Carol Ann's diary.
It's fascinating, especially near the end.
She was petrified someone was going to kill her and she's quite clear as to who and why.
Who would believe the word of a prostitute? Against a drug-pushing pimp? A whole lot of people.
How much do you want for it? What makes you think I want to sell? Why else would you come here? Well, we had considered it if the money was right.
To avoid the publicity and a possibletrial, I'm willing to pay, say, $10,000.
You'd pay more than that to your laers.
Say 50.
- You play high stakes, Magnum.
- I got all the cards.
Do you? Why don't I just kill you and take the diary? You don't think I'd be stupid enough to bring the real thing, do you? All right.
50,000.
I have to talk it over with my client.
But I'll get back to you.
lf you're as smart as I think you are, Magnum you will be back here with the diary in 24 hours.
'My trip to Ito's had not been settling.
'I came away pretty sure he had killed Carol Ann.
'Why else would he care about the diary? 'I was also pretty sure he'd try and kill me rather than pay for it.
'You see, I have an uncanny knack for painting myself into corners.
' Do you mind taking me downtown to the police station? I'd appreciate it if you'd handcuff me, too.
You're some kind of wise guy.
(Magnum) I'm getting a little tired of the silent treatment.
Your partner is waiting for me at the airport.
Are you gonna charge me or what? No one's charging you with anything.
This trip is purely educational.
Well, howdy, Mr Magnum.
I'm Carol Ann Little.
Doggies, you out there? Come on in, doggies.
Come on inl (Growling) Bye-byel (Snarling and barking) (Cop) We had to pretend she was dead.
She's testifying for us against Ito.
She witnessed the murder of two men.
One of them, Ito did it himself.
We got him, Magnum - if we can just keep you out of our way.
Carol Ann is ready to testify.
She is our only witness and will testify.
- Did he do this? - Yeah.
- I'm a friend of Billy Joe's.
- They told me about you.
I guess I don't much resemble the sweet thing my brother told you about.
Yeah, Ito did it.
Right after I told him that I was leaving the islands.
I'd been his mistress for a while, so I know a lot about his business.
Too much for him to let me go.
So he ran me down and left me for dead.
Where's Billy Joe? I'd like to see him.
He's at my place.
I'll call him.
How much does he know about me, I mean, and everything? - He knows everything, Carol.
- Oh, damn.
Listen, he's just not so perfect himself.
There are a dozen guys on the island he hasn't punched or threatened to punch.
That sounds like him.
That's my Pickles, all right.
Pickles? (Telephone) (Barks, whimpers) - Yes, what is it? - Higgins? ls that you? Your cowboy friend has escaped and stolen the Ferrari.
You were supposed to be watching him.
I know.
Honour demands I take full responsibility.
- 'And I do.
' - Bye, Higgins.
I think Billy Joe's on his way to Ito's.
- Get out an APB on that red Ferrari.
- You got it.
Check the charter services.
Billy Joe knows Ito's place is on Maui.
- That's where he's heading.
- Notifying them won't do any good.
- He'll just take what he wants.
- What? Well, he can fly just about anything.
He's a crop duster back home.
Didn't anybody tell you that? Carol Ann, Billy Joe is full of surprises.
(Engine note rising) All right.
(Helicopter approaching) That should be Magnum.
You have your instructions.
I make sure to get the diary and then kill him.
Ike.
- Howdy.
- Oh! Hey ! Where is Ito? Lady, where is Ito-san? 'Billy Joe had taken TC's chopper, which wasn't gonna put me in real solid with TC.
'What worried me even more was Billy Joe's sense of frontier justice.
'I just hoped we got there in time to stop him.
' Sayonara, darling.
Let's go for a little walk.
Nanimono da? - Who are you? - My name's Little.
Billy Joe Bob Little.
And you have corrupted your last young girl.
So you might as well go ahead and say your prayers.
I have no quarrel with you.
I used to have a baby sister called Carol Ann Little.
She was so pretty.
They used to say she got all the looks in the family.
They also used to say I got all the mean.
There he is.
It's TC's chopper.
He's there already.
(Wind chimes jingle) I have money.
I'll make you rich.
- Tell me all about it, pardner.
- I'll do anything.
Billy Joel Don't do it.
Magnum, get out of here now.
This is not your concern any more.
Your sister's alive.
She's alive.
You see, she's alive.
Magnum, make him let me down.
Don't try it.
I'm not gonna kill you cos I like you.
But I can put a piece of lead in you to slow you down.
You can hang around, visit.
It'll take me a minute to pull this chair out from under Mr Ito.
She's alive, I swear it.
You tricked me before.
You think I'm some kind of a hick.
Picklesl - Let him go, Pickles.
- Pickles.
- Where is she, Magnum? - She's OK, Billy.
She's with the police and wants to see you.
They'll take you to her.
It's over now.
Higgins, what are you doing? We had an agreement.
I didn't fulfil my part, so I can't expect you to.
- Therefore, I am spreading manure.
- But you hate that kind of work.
The fertilizer must be distributed now for the lawn to have sufficient nitrogen.
Gee, I feel awful.
Sure we had a deal, but so what if you didn't keep up your end? We're still friends, aren't we? Look, I know this isn't your kind of work.
Since you're in a hurry and you're doing it for the lawn, I want you to know I'll be thinking what a wonderful guy you are the whole time I'm swimming.