Michael: Every Day (2011) s02e01 Episode Script
Squirrels
1 You're ready for this, Mr.
Ogilvy.
Yes.
Yeah.
You've done the prep work.
You've looked at the pictures, you watched the videos.
Do you have the little stuffed one with you? Y It's, uh, in my bag.
- You've spent time with that.
- 15 minutes every day.
I got my brother to help me with that.
Good.
You're ready to move on to the next step.
Um - Where is it? - It's behind my chair.
Oh, God.
You mean, like, it's in a cage? It's in a cage, - right? It's in a cage? - Yes.
Breathe.
What's your worst imagined outcome? That, uh my heart's just gonna explode, or something.
And how likely is that? - It's highly unlikely.
- It's highly - unlikely.
- Yeah.
Let's do this.
Alright.
We're gonna start slowly.
Just a ten second exposure.
Right? Just ten seconds.
You can handle that.
- (whimpering) - Ready? Here he comes.
Ooh! (cage rattling) Breathe.
- (peaceful classical music) - (distantly): AAAAAAAAAAGH! - Don't step there! - (crashing, banging, chittering) - Breathe! - NO! AAAAAAAGH! - Breathe! - (hyperventilating) (chittering) - (Thump!) - Shit! Call 911! Please! Now! Quickly! - (Beep!) - What's the nature of the emergency? - Uh (Beep!) - Dr.
Storper? (crashing) (rhythmic grunting) (squeaking) Oh.
(upbeat music; alarm ringing) Gotta get up.
Gotta get out Gotta get home before the morning comes What if I'm late? Got a big day Gotta get home before the sun comes up Up in the way.
Got a big day Sorry can't stay.
I gotta run run yeah Gotta get home.
Pick up the phone Gotta let the people know I'm gonna be late I killed a man.
Well, even as a physician with limited abilities, you cannot kill a man by waving a rat in his face.
I made his heart explode.
YOU'RE NOT GOD! You cannot make a man's heart explode! You can bore a man to death, but that's the extent of your powers.
Now, what disturbs me about this incident is that it exacerbates your depression! You've been going on a downward spiral for five years! I don't think that's true.
Well, what have you done in that time, huh? You wrote a book on death that nobody read, got married and divorced, whined incessantly about a patient that moved away - Michael.
Michael.
- It's time to be aggressive.
We've got to attack this depression head on! You understand? Now, what course of action would you advise to a patient who was similarly shackled by misery? First I would tell him to keep a thought journal - Good, good, good, good, good.
- I would have him rate his various activities in terms of how they made him feel on a scale of one to ten, one being extremely sad and ten being extremely happy.
- Do that.
Do that.
- And then we'll assess.
I can give you a pill that shoots up everything to ten immediately.
But unfortunately, it includes a high risk of cerebral hemorrhage.
No, we'll do this the conventional way.
Comme vous voulez.
Stagnation.
Lack of forward movement.
Sense that you are stuck and mired, unable to continue.
Hello.
Bye.
(whimsical music) Pervasive sense of disappointment, disillusionment (indistinct conversation) - That's not gonna happen.
- Well, we believe that all things considered, Dr.
Storper is being very generous.
The percentage of royalties from the television show was agreed upon before these proceedings.
That's hardly generous.
We are willing to offer up the profits from the sale of the Edelweiss ski chalet.
That would be acceptable.
The feeling that you're stuck in a loop, repeating the same destructive behaviour, making the same mistakes.
I'm an adult.
I'll talk to him if I want to, OK? Back off.
- It's OK.
- Oh, Jim? Thank you.
So.
You should come.
To the awards show thingy.
- With you? You're divorcing me.
- David, we've been through this.
I enjoy you in small doses.
It's waking up beside you that's problematic.
Besides, it might be fun.
I mean, it's not every day that your TV show gets nominated, right? We might even win! Look, it's been a trying week.
I have to run.
No, David, we did this thing together, right? You abandoned it, but we did it together.
So just acknowledge it.
I killed a man at work the other day.
Suck it up! Seriously! - Sorry.
That was insensitive.
- Yes, it was! Yeah, OK.
My bad.
Sorry.
But still, suck it up! Please! For me? An overwhelming sense of futility.
Pointlessness.
Feeling of inertia (knocking) - Michael Dyer's file.
- Thank you.
And the exterminator tried for an hour but he said he couldn't find the squirrel.
He said he could find its scat, which is poo I know that scat is poo.
But he couldn't find the squirrel proper.
He set a trap and told me to call him.
Beth, would you cancel my appointments for the week? - All of them? - Everything after today, yes.
- Why? - Why? Because I'm going through a lot.
The divorce and the death of Mr.
Ogilvy You know what? just you don't have to know why.
Just do it, please.
OK.
These are signs of depression and should not be ignored.
By the way, I'm not transcribing your dictations.
I don't do diaries.
- (computer pinging) - Oh.
- Hi.
- Hi, sorry I'm late.
No problem.
Uh, you're gonna be really mad, but I gotta cancel again.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, We have our presentation of the senior web campaign to Lynn and the ministry people We're still tweaking.
This is the quick 'hi'.
So, hi! - Hi! How you doing? - Uh, I've got like, a minute.
But I'm good! Busy.
Good.
Are you worried about the presentation? Not really.
You trying to squeeze in a session, - or is this just chit-chat? - Well, it's interesting, because they accomplish the same thing.
Chit-chat is a way of Oh shit, I really have to go.
It was good seeing you.
OK.
Um, talk to you again in two months.
Yes, two months.
- You can call anytime.
- Yup.
And I know you have Dr.
Keener, but if you need me Have I ever not needed you? I'll call.
Bye, Dr.
Storper.
Goodbye, Michael.
Bye.
Deep in the ocean lie one of nature's most impressive shape-shifters.
The giant Pacific octopus can change colour at will, (alarm rings) expressing mood, comfort level and intentions to nearby animals.
It's also able to change texture using knobs of muscle to mimic its surroundings.
The giant Pacific octopus grows bigger and bigger (upbeat soul music) - Morning.
- Good morning, Mike.
Your meeting with - the ministry is in 15 minutes.
- Thank you.
(various people): Good morning, Mike! Morning.
- Morning, Mike.
- Goooooood morning! - We're up in 15.
- Seriously? I'm sweating.
Sweating right through my dress.
You know, it's Lynn that does this to me.
She can see that I'm uncomfortable, and then she just attacks The giant Pacific octopus can change colour at will, expressing mood, comfort level and intention to all nearby animals.
- Oh, that's cool.
- Look confident, and everyone will think you're confident.
Oh.
OK.
Yeah, I'll try it.
How did you know all that stuff about the octopus? I, uh, I have a minor in marine biology.
- Really? - Yeah.
Let's do this! Eating a hot dog, one.
Looked at pigeons, three.
Fed pigeon, four.
" Darryl, reading your depression journal makes me question whether life is worth living.
- It's not all bad.
- What this dismal list of moments of isolation and misery tell me is that - YOU MUST ENGAGE WITH THE WORLD! - Yeah.
I know.
Are you going out? Are you meeting new people? - Not really, no.
- WELL, FORCE YOURSELF! - GET OUT THERE! SOCIALIZE! - It's not that easy Well, get an app! I can recommend several.
You like German women? No! I mean I do You have to act on this.
'Cause you know that depression rewires the brain! And you will have a mental collapse and be lost to us forever.
- I know.
- How about Puerto Ricans? On behalf of the ministry, I just want to say how disappointed we are in the senior's initiative.
This is shoddy, poorly-presented garbage.
Can you imagine if I really said that? This would be the worst meeting ever! I love it! We all love it! Mike and Armand, you and your team have done amazing work.
Except for you, Margot, you're fired.
I'm kidding, I can't fire you.
Armand, fire Margot.
Can you imagine? (nervous laugh) Well, it wasn't me.
It was Mike.
He cracked the nut.
- He really knows seniors.
- Well, wonderful, wonderful work! Except for Margot, of course.
Mike, I'm gonna have you fly to Calgary tonight to introduce this initiative to Anne and her team.
You're gonna handle Eastern Canada, Central Canada, starting two weeks from now in Sudbury You're gonna be racking up those frequent flyer miles! Amazing job, everyone.
I'm sorry, what was that about Calgary? Well, that's where you're going.
Your flight's at 11.
OK, so this is serious, it wasn't a joke.
- That'd be a weird joke.
- Look, I have things to do here.
Why don't we send someone else? Why don't we send Margot? Margot? She's a sweaty mess.
No.
You have to go.
You're the senior whisperer.
That's what Armand calls you.
Did you know that? Ha.
No.
But can we talk about this, because I could videoconference in Look, you're going, or you're fired.
Can you imagine? Look, have fun! Mike, you do know this is a promotion, don't you? Congratulations! Claire? Claire! What What are you doing here? Hi! Beth called me to help explain my filing system.
And, uh, she also said that you're cancelling all your patients? Why are you cancelling all your patients? Um, can we - I killed a patient.
- (Gasp!) You did not kill a patient! Who? - Mr.
Ogilvy.
- Oh, the squirrel guy? Yeah, he had a heart attack in this chair.
And yes, there was a squirrel involved.
So you're cancelling all of your patients because you're afraid that you'll kill again.
Are you hiding away and moping? I'm making an effort.
I'm going to that award show for the TV show that I renounced.
Well that's fun.
- I'm going with Sammy.
- Oh.
OK.
Just make sure not to drink too much.
Félicitations.
All of the best competitive ballroom dancers How delicious, this culture.
Our next category is delicious, because this award, it's for - best Ottawa food truck! - David, you came! - Hello, Levi.
- Hello David.
I see your ethics can't keep you away when there's a free meal involved.
Bazooka Joe's All Halal Poutine.
Poutineagatta Davida! - Did you win? - WE.
Did WE win.
Uh, no, they haven't announced it yet.
There's a million categories in two languages.
We'll win.
And when we do, you'll hear the big news.
- What big news? - You'll be pleased.
Well, - you will, Sammy.
- Bazooka Joe's All-Halal Poutine! David, have a drink.
The champagne's really cheap, but it just keeps coming.
- Cheers.
- Bazooka Joe! The nominees are Best children's theatre company Best outdoor theatre - I just want to say thank you - I was born just outside And now, the nominee for best Ottawa-produced television show.
Question Period, producers - If we win, you go up too.
- No.
- Yes! - I've had, what, two bottles? Le gagnant est Exposure! Producers Levi Salmond, Samantha Dunbar and David "Storpé", "Storpé".
David! (applause) Thank you.
Thank you for this.
Exposure is a show about people facing their fears.
It is television that heals.
And I would like to announce that we have been asked to help produce a version for China.
That is a potential audience of 1.
25 billion people.
Something to be proud of.
For Canada to be proud of.
I would like to thank everybody who - worked on the production - I am Dr.
David Storper.
I'm one of the creators of the series.
In the beginning, this show was about people facing their fears on camera.
Brave people.
But that wasn't interesting enough, apparently, so they replaced the people with actors.
The show is a lie.
And now, apparently, we are exporting that lie to China.
This show is not healing anybody! - David, I think it's time - My marriage failed because of this show.
I killed a man.
- OK! - What a thrill! Thank you! Merci! Exposure! Thank you, Dr.
Dom Perignon.
I think I might be getting depressed again.
You think? - I was doing so well! - Yeah, until you quit the show! - Well, you filed for divorce.
- Well, you know, David, the marriage wasn't working, right? You barely spoke, it was like sleeping with a brick My doctor thinks I might be heading for a breakdown.
David, I am just so sick of this self pitying shit.
Life is hard.
Sometimes you just have to light a scented candle, draw a nice, hot bath, - maybe smoke a doobie - Doobie? You mean a joint? I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were Rastafarian.
- Get some pot.
- I don't know where to get pot! - Really? Its 2016.
- I have some in purse.
I'm driving.
Make your way to Gate 6.
Gate 6 please.
(elegant classical music) Welcome to Pearson International Air Reminder for passengers to not leave luggage unattended.
Thank you.
You wanna tuck the unglued side into the roll.
Give it just a little bit of moisture.
Just a little.
Don't spit on it.
(baby crying) Would Calgary passenger Michael Dyer please approach the attendant at Gate 19.
Est-ce que le passager Michael Dyer pourraitse rapprocher de la porte 19.
Yes, uh, there are only four passengers on your flight.
- Oh.
- So we're cancelling it.
Oh.
But we're putting you onto an earlier flight which is leaving right now.
You got the last seat.
- It's your lucky day.
- Oh.
Destiny.
Fate.
And Beth, I know you're not transcribing this.
I'm just saying this for myself.
You can't fight it.
It is what it is.
One day, you're alive and then you see a squirrel and your heart explodes.
Waiting in the lounge for Flight 323 to Calgary pre-board at this time.
Les passagers qui attendent pour le vol 323 Just let it go.
Float.
Let the grand narrative of fate take over.
Merci.
Enjoy your flight.
Go right ahead.
(baby wailing) (distantly) Did you see this guy? - He's freaking out.
- (muffled) Sir, are you OK? - Sir? - He's really sick, isn't he? Sir, can you come back here, please? - this man right here.
- OK.
Sir, can I help you? - What? - Monsieur, je peux vous aider ? What? I gotta get to Calgary! Look at me.
Can you see me? - Yes.
- Say you can see me.
I can see you.
I have to get to Calgary! OK.
You're fine, you're not in any danger.
Look at me.
What colour is my hair? Breathe, deeply, good.
Breathe.
- What colour is my scarf? - Blue.
- I have to get to Calgary.
- Sir, you're not getting on the plane.
- I have to get to Calgary.
- Sir? Put the camera away.
Can I get security to Gate 19 please? Breathe.
Stop filming, asshole.
Breathe.
OK.
Security.
OK.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Thank you.
I'm OK.
- Where to? - Bus station? How How did this happen exactly? - Sir, come on out of the building.
- How did it Started in a bathroom on the 17th floor.
Somebody must have knocked over a candle.
Are you OK? I'm I'm I think I'm in shock.
Which is why I appear disoriented.
I'm a doc a doctor.
Oh, my God! The smoke looks like a giant fiery serpent! Candles, I swear.
People never learn.
Yeah.
A horrible world full of giant fire serpents.
Are you seeing this? Uh, there's a patient waiting for you in your office.
- What? I told you to cancel - No, he just walked in.
I couldn't stop him.
He had a key.
He had a key? (tender music)
Ogilvy.
Yes.
Yeah.
You've done the prep work.
You've looked at the pictures, you watched the videos.
Do you have the little stuffed one with you? Y It's, uh, in my bag.
- You've spent time with that.
- 15 minutes every day.
I got my brother to help me with that.
Good.
You're ready to move on to the next step.
Um - Where is it? - It's behind my chair.
Oh, God.
You mean, like, it's in a cage? It's in a cage, - right? It's in a cage? - Yes.
Breathe.
What's your worst imagined outcome? That, uh my heart's just gonna explode, or something.
And how likely is that? - It's highly unlikely.
- It's highly - unlikely.
- Yeah.
Let's do this.
Alright.
We're gonna start slowly.
Just a ten second exposure.
Right? Just ten seconds.
You can handle that.
- (whimpering) - Ready? Here he comes.
Ooh! (cage rattling) Breathe.
- (peaceful classical music) - (distantly): AAAAAAAAAAGH! - Don't step there! - (crashing, banging, chittering) - Breathe! - NO! AAAAAAAGH! - Breathe! - (hyperventilating) (chittering) - (Thump!) - Shit! Call 911! Please! Now! Quickly! - (Beep!) - What's the nature of the emergency? - Uh (Beep!) - Dr.
Storper? (crashing) (rhythmic grunting) (squeaking) Oh.
(upbeat music; alarm ringing) Gotta get up.
Gotta get out Gotta get home before the morning comes What if I'm late? Got a big day Gotta get home before the sun comes up Up in the way.
Got a big day Sorry can't stay.
I gotta run run yeah Gotta get home.
Pick up the phone Gotta let the people know I'm gonna be late I killed a man.
Well, even as a physician with limited abilities, you cannot kill a man by waving a rat in his face.
I made his heart explode.
YOU'RE NOT GOD! You cannot make a man's heart explode! You can bore a man to death, but that's the extent of your powers.
Now, what disturbs me about this incident is that it exacerbates your depression! You've been going on a downward spiral for five years! I don't think that's true.
Well, what have you done in that time, huh? You wrote a book on death that nobody read, got married and divorced, whined incessantly about a patient that moved away - Michael.
Michael.
- It's time to be aggressive.
We've got to attack this depression head on! You understand? Now, what course of action would you advise to a patient who was similarly shackled by misery? First I would tell him to keep a thought journal - Good, good, good, good, good.
- I would have him rate his various activities in terms of how they made him feel on a scale of one to ten, one being extremely sad and ten being extremely happy.
- Do that.
Do that.
- And then we'll assess.
I can give you a pill that shoots up everything to ten immediately.
But unfortunately, it includes a high risk of cerebral hemorrhage.
No, we'll do this the conventional way.
Comme vous voulez.
Stagnation.
Lack of forward movement.
Sense that you are stuck and mired, unable to continue.
Hello.
Bye.
(whimsical music) Pervasive sense of disappointment, disillusionment (indistinct conversation) - That's not gonna happen.
- Well, we believe that all things considered, Dr.
Storper is being very generous.
The percentage of royalties from the television show was agreed upon before these proceedings.
That's hardly generous.
We are willing to offer up the profits from the sale of the Edelweiss ski chalet.
That would be acceptable.
The feeling that you're stuck in a loop, repeating the same destructive behaviour, making the same mistakes.
I'm an adult.
I'll talk to him if I want to, OK? Back off.
- It's OK.
- Oh, Jim? Thank you.
So.
You should come.
To the awards show thingy.
- With you? You're divorcing me.
- David, we've been through this.
I enjoy you in small doses.
It's waking up beside you that's problematic.
Besides, it might be fun.
I mean, it's not every day that your TV show gets nominated, right? We might even win! Look, it's been a trying week.
I have to run.
No, David, we did this thing together, right? You abandoned it, but we did it together.
So just acknowledge it.
I killed a man at work the other day.
Suck it up! Seriously! - Sorry.
That was insensitive.
- Yes, it was! Yeah, OK.
My bad.
Sorry.
But still, suck it up! Please! For me? An overwhelming sense of futility.
Pointlessness.
Feeling of inertia (knocking) - Michael Dyer's file.
- Thank you.
And the exterminator tried for an hour but he said he couldn't find the squirrel.
He said he could find its scat, which is poo I know that scat is poo.
But he couldn't find the squirrel proper.
He set a trap and told me to call him.
Beth, would you cancel my appointments for the week? - All of them? - Everything after today, yes.
- Why? - Why? Because I'm going through a lot.
The divorce and the death of Mr.
Ogilvy You know what? just you don't have to know why.
Just do it, please.
OK.
These are signs of depression and should not be ignored.
By the way, I'm not transcribing your dictations.
I don't do diaries.
- (computer pinging) - Oh.
- Hi.
- Hi, sorry I'm late.
No problem.
Uh, you're gonna be really mad, but I gotta cancel again.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, We have our presentation of the senior web campaign to Lynn and the ministry people We're still tweaking.
This is the quick 'hi'.
So, hi! - Hi! How you doing? - Uh, I've got like, a minute.
But I'm good! Busy.
Good.
Are you worried about the presentation? Not really.
You trying to squeeze in a session, - or is this just chit-chat? - Well, it's interesting, because they accomplish the same thing.
Chit-chat is a way of Oh shit, I really have to go.
It was good seeing you.
OK.
Um, talk to you again in two months.
Yes, two months.
- You can call anytime.
- Yup.
And I know you have Dr.
Keener, but if you need me Have I ever not needed you? I'll call.
Bye, Dr.
Storper.
Goodbye, Michael.
Bye.
Deep in the ocean lie one of nature's most impressive shape-shifters.
The giant Pacific octopus can change colour at will, (alarm rings) expressing mood, comfort level and intentions to nearby animals.
It's also able to change texture using knobs of muscle to mimic its surroundings.
The giant Pacific octopus grows bigger and bigger (upbeat soul music) - Morning.
- Good morning, Mike.
Your meeting with - the ministry is in 15 minutes.
- Thank you.
(various people): Good morning, Mike! Morning.
- Morning, Mike.
- Goooooood morning! - We're up in 15.
- Seriously? I'm sweating.
Sweating right through my dress.
You know, it's Lynn that does this to me.
She can see that I'm uncomfortable, and then she just attacks The giant Pacific octopus can change colour at will, expressing mood, comfort level and intention to all nearby animals.
- Oh, that's cool.
- Look confident, and everyone will think you're confident.
Oh.
OK.
Yeah, I'll try it.
How did you know all that stuff about the octopus? I, uh, I have a minor in marine biology.
- Really? - Yeah.
Let's do this! Eating a hot dog, one.
Looked at pigeons, three.
Fed pigeon, four.
" Darryl, reading your depression journal makes me question whether life is worth living.
- It's not all bad.
- What this dismal list of moments of isolation and misery tell me is that - YOU MUST ENGAGE WITH THE WORLD! - Yeah.
I know.
Are you going out? Are you meeting new people? - Not really, no.
- WELL, FORCE YOURSELF! - GET OUT THERE! SOCIALIZE! - It's not that easy Well, get an app! I can recommend several.
You like German women? No! I mean I do You have to act on this.
'Cause you know that depression rewires the brain! And you will have a mental collapse and be lost to us forever.
- I know.
- How about Puerto Ricans? On behalf of the ministry, I just want to say how disappointed we are in the senior's initiative.
This is shoddy, poorly-presented garbage.
Can you imagine if I really said that? This would be the worst meeting ever! I love it! We all love it! Mike and Armand, you and your team have done amazing work.
Except for you, Margot, you're fired.
I'm kidding, I can't fire you.
Armand, fire Margot.
Can you imagine? (nervous laugh) Well, it wasn't me.
It was Mike.
He cracked the nut.
- He really knows seniors.
- Well, wonderful, wonderful work! Except for Margot, of course.
Mike, I'm gonna have you fly to Calgary tonight to introduce this initiative to Anne and her team.
You're gonna handle Eastern Canada, Central Canada, starting two weeks from now in Sudbury You're gonna be racking up those frequent flyer miles! Amazing job, everyone.
I'm sorry, what was that about Calgary? Well, that's where you're going.
Your flight's at 11.
OK, so this is serious, it wasn't a joke.
- That'd be a weird joke.
- Look, I have things to do here.
Why don't we send someone else? Why don't we send Margot? Margot? She's a sweaty mess.
No.
You have to go.
You're the senior whisperer.
That's what Armand calls you.
Did you know that? Ha.
No.
But can we talk about this, because I could videoconference in Look, you're going, or you're fired.
Can you imagine? Look, have fun! Mike, you do know this is a promotion, don't you? Congratulations! Claire? Claire! What What are you doing here? Hi! Beth called me to help explain my filing system.
And, uh, she also said that you're cancelling all your patients? Why are you cancelling all your patients? Um, can we - I killed a patient.
- (Gasp!) You did not kill a patient! Who? - Mr.
Ogilvy.
- Oh, the squirrel guy? Yeah, he had a heart attack in this chair.
And yes, there was a squirrel involved.
So you're cancelling all of your patients because you're afraid that you'll kill again.
Are you hiding away and moping? I'm making an effort.
I'm going to that award show for the TV show that I renounced.
Well that's fun.
- I'm going with Sammy.
- Oh.
OK.
Just make sure not to drink too much.
Félicitations.
All of the best competitive ballroom dancers How delicious, this culture.
Our next category is delicious, because this award, it's for - best Ottawa food truck! - David, you came! - Hello, Levi.
- Hello David.
I see your ethics can't keep you away when there's a free meal involved.
Bazooka Joe's All Halal Poutine.
Poutineagatta Davida! - Did you win? - WE.
Did WE win.
Uh, no, they haven't announced it yet.
There's a million categories in two languages.
We'll win.
And when we do, you'll hear the big news.
- What big news? - You'll be pleased.
Well, - you will, Sammy.
- Bazooka Joe's All-Halal Poutine! David, have a drink.
The champagne's really cheap, but it just keeps coming.
- Cheers.
- Bazooka Joe! The nominees are Best children's theatre company Best outdoor theatre - I just want to say thank you - I was born just outside And now, the nominee for best Ottawa-produced television show.
Question Period, producers - If we win, you go up too.
- No.
- Yes! - I've had, what, two bottles? Le gagnant est Exposure! Producers Levi Salmond, Samantha Dunbar and David "Storpé", "Storpé".
David! (applause) Thank you.
Thank you for this.
Exposure is a show about people facing their fears.
It is television that heals.
And I would like to announce that we have been asked to help produce a version for China.
That is a potential audience of 1.
25 billion people.
Something to be proud of.
For Canada to be proud of.
I would like to thank everybody who - worked on the production - I am Dr.
David Storper.
I'm one of the creators of the series.
In the beginning, this show was about people facing their fears on camera.
Brave people.
But that wasn't interesting enough, apparently, so they replaced the people with actors.
The show is a lie.
And now, apparently, we are exporting that lie to China.
This show is not healing anybody! - David, I think it's time - My marriage failed because of this show.
I killed a man.
- OK! - What a thrill! Thank you! Merci! Exposure! Thank you, Dr.
Dom Perignon.
I think I might be getting depressed again.
You think? - I was doing so well! - Yeah, until you quit the show! - Well, you filed for divorce.
- Well, you know, David, the marriage wasn't working, right? You barely spoke, it was like sleeping with a brick My doctor thinks I might be heading for a breakdown.
David, I am just so sick of this self pitying shit.
Life is hard.
Sometimes you just have to light a scented candle, draw a nice, hot bath, - maybe smoke a doobie - Doobie? You mean a joint? I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were Rastafarian.
- Get some pot.
- I don't know where to get pot! - Really? Its 2016.
- I have some in purse.
I'm driving.
Make your way to Gate 6.
Gate 6 please.
(elegant classical music) Welcome to Pearson International Air Reminder for passengers to not leave luggage unattended.
Thank you.
You wanna tuck the unglued side into the roll.
Give it just a little bit of moisture.
Just a little.
Don't spit on it.
(baby crying) Would Calgary passenger Michael Dyer please approach the attendant at Gate 19.
Est-ce que le passager Michael Dyer pourraitse rapprocher de la porte 19.
Yes, uh, there are only four passengers on your flight.
- Oh.
- So we're cancelling it.
Oh.
But we're putting you onto an earlier flight which is leaving right now.
You got the last seat.
- It's your lucky day.
- Oh.
Destiny.
Fate.
And Beth, I know you're not transcribing this.
I'm just saying this for myself.
You can't fight it.
It is what it is.
One day, you're alive and then you see a squirrel and your heart explodes.
Waiting in the lounge for Flight 323 to Calgary pre-board at this time.
Les passagers qui attendent pour le vol 323 Just let it go.
Float.
Let the grand narrative of fate take over.
Merci.
Enjoy your flight.
Go right ahead.
(baby wailing) (distantly) Did you see this guy? - He's freaking out.
- (muffled) Sir, are you OK? - Sir? - He's really sick, isn't he? Sir, can you come back here, please? - this man right here.
- OK.
Sir, can I help you? - What? - Monsieur, je peux vous aider ? What? I gotta get to Calgary! Look at me.
Can you see me? - Yes.
- Say you can see me.
I can see you.
I have to get to Calgary! OK.
You're fine, you're not in any danger.
Look at me.
What colour is my hair? Breathe, deeply, good.
Breathe.
- What colour is my scarf? - Blue.
- I have to get to Calgary.
- Sir, you're not getting on the plane.
- I have to get to Calgary.
- Sir? Put the camera away.
Can I get security to Gate 19 please? Breathe.
Stop filming, asshole.
Breathe.
OK.
Security.
OK.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Thank you.
I'm OK.
- Where to? - Bus station? How How did this happen exactly? - Sir, come on out of the building.
- How did it Started in a bathroom on the 17th floor.
Somebody must have knocked over a candle.
Are you OK? I'm I'm I think I'm in shock.
Which is why I appear disoriented.
I'm a doc a doctor.
Oh, my God! The smoke looks like a giant fiery serpent! Candles, I swear.
People never learn.
Yeah.
A horrible world full of giant fire serpents.
Are you seeing this? Uh, there's a patient waiting for you in your office.
- What? I told you to cancel - No, he just walked in.
I couldn't stop him.
He had a key.
He had a key? (tender music)