Mistresses (2008) s02e01 Episode Script
Season 2, Episode 1
(EXHALING) I hate that dress.
Well, she can't get married naked, can she, Cathy? What's going on? Barbie and Ken.
-Couples counselling did the trick.
-Are you two staying tonight? -Mm-hm.
-Good.
Could you give me a lift to Siobhan's? I thought you were getting the bus.
(SIGHING) -Yes.
Look at you.
-You're going to be late.
It doesn't matter.
Mm.
Yeah.
(CAR HONKING) Hi.
Thanks.
Hey.
Where's the driver? If I asked you really nicely, would you change your mind? Simon, you're not coming, okay? You're my boss, you're a bloke and it's a hen night.
Come on, let's go.
(GIRLS HOOTING) -DOORMAN: Are you the lady in question? -Not me.
-No, not me.
-The blushing bride.
-How are you doing? -Congratulations, madam.
(HOOTING) (CLUB MUSIC PLAYING) -Hey, we're okay about this, aren't we? -You've met him, right? -Mm.
-So what's not to be okay about? I know.
He's gorgeous.
Excuse me! And rich.
-Yeah, but she's known him for, what? -A heartbeat.
Exactly.
I mean, doesn't he sleep around? So does she.
This is Jessica we're talking about, whose appetites are a mystery even to herself.
-She's going to be fine.
-And if it's the worst mistake she's ever made, I will do the divorce for nothing.
(CHEERING) -How long is this going to go on for? -What? -The born-again virgin routine.
-Yeah, the boycott.
-There's no boycott.
-Oh, so what is it, then? It's a happy abstinence.
A new job, a new beginning.
-A refocusing, all right? -Okay.
I'm just worried about you, Katie.
-About what? -Lack of use.
There are several well-documented cases of it growing over.
-That's gross! -Really? -No, not really.
-She believed you.
(LAUGHING) Forget it.
(HOOTING) -Do you know what he's doing tonight? -Paintballing? It's a stag.
Come on, I know exactly what happens on stag dos.
-Hey.
I'm sorry.
We've got to go.
-TRUDl: Yeah, you know, we've got kids.
-Okay, well, you.
Good luck tomorrow.
-Oh, thank you.
So good to see you guys.
Thanks for coming.
-See you soon.
-Okay.
-Thanks for coming.
-Bye.
Bye bye.
Where were we? -Hey.
Hello.
-Hi.
Hey.
-How was it? -Good.
Fun was had.
Most of it by Jessica.
-Well, I should go.
Big day tomorrow.
-Thanks for looking after Elsa.
Oh, thanks for letting me.
-See you tomorrow.
-Yeah.
(SIGHING) What are you doing? I'm picking your pants up off the floor.
They're supposed to make you want to have sex with me.
Hm.
(SIGHING) (HUMMING) -Thank you.
-What for? For Dominic.
For being, you know.
Come on, you.
-Come on.
-What did you two do today, then? Ah, not much, did we? Did we, eh? Did some housework.
(CHUCKLING) We went for a walk.
She made some new friends at the swings.
-Didn't you? -Did you? Come on.
Night, night.
Come on.
There we go.
(GURGLING) Bed? (CHUCKLING) Night.
Night.
Turn out the lights.
Take your clothes off.
-Pants didn't work then? -No, they did.
I just overcame the temptation.
Hm.
Uh, I wanted to make sure I'm ready for tomorrow.
Ah, yes.
Look out, Nigella.
-Are you making fun of me? -No.
Well, a little.
Sorry.
It's just Seems like a lot of work.
I mean, you're hardly a lady of leisure.
I know.
It's just a few cakes.
-You know, and the chance to -To what? Well, to get a new pair of tights, or a dress, or I don't know, take us somewhere for the weekend, somewhere different.
You know I'd do those things if I could, don't you? No, no, yeah.
I'm sorry, that's not what I was -I know.
-No, it's just that it would be nice.
-Where have you been? -Oh, Jesus! Hari! I couldn't sleep, I had a headache.
So I just went to the chemist and, um -We'd run out, so I -I must have finished them.
Yeah.
-I was worried about you.
-No, don't be.
I took two.
I'm fine now.
Good.
You're very smart for a late night trip to the chemist.
Yeah, I know.
It's kind of ridiculous, isn't it? (EXHALING) (CAR HONKING) (HONKING CONTINUES) -Hello.
-Hey, baby.
Brace yourself.
I'm coming up.
What's your PA doing on your stag do? Oh, she goes everywhere with me, you know that.
(LAUGHS) -So, where did you go? -Oh, Lord knows.
Slovenia, Slovakia.
Somewhere else maybe.
There was a helicopter involved.
(GROANING) Ah! -How did you get those? -I I was whipped.
-Did you deserve it? -Absolutely.
SIOBHAN OVER PHONE: Listen, I know it's your first day and this is the last thing you need, but do you think we could meet? No, no, no.
It's fine.
Of course it is.
You all right? It's fine.
Um, listen, I'll buy you lunch wherever's easiest.
-What's your canteen like? -Oh, awful, apparently.
I think everybody goes to this diner called Joe's.
-It's just by the side entrance.
-Deal.
Katie.
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
-Katie.
How are you feeling? -You know, terrified.
Don't be silly.
We're lucky to have you here.
Particularly Jack, who remembers all too well how you got him through med school.
Yes, well, let's just keep that between the three of us, shall we? But Megan's right.
We're lucky to have you here.
Thank you.
Listen, I've got to go and register, so -Do you know where to go? -Yeah, I'll be fine.
I'll see you on the ward later.
Oncology, take stair three down two levels, take a left, through Urology, through ENT.
Then you want any of the lifts, 13, 14 or 15 for the fifth floor, right through Paediatrics and you're there.
Got it? Have you got everything? (CHILDREN CHATTERING) All of Amy's stuff.
-Remember, you're back at yours tonight.
-RICHARD: Yes.
-Are you sure? -Yes.
Right, come on, you lot.
Trudi needs to be left in peace.
Put those in there.
Put it in, then.
-Bye, hon.
See you.
-Oh! No, listen to me, listen to me.
-Your cakes are unbeatable.
-Thank you.
-But? -Well, this is his, you know, this is what he does.
Food is his world.
Then he's going to love you, okay? Good luck.
Right, out the door now.
Out the door now, please.
Whose is this? Come on, Cathy.
Gina, out, now, please.
(KATIE EXCLAIMING) (LAUGHING) -Sorry.
-Sorry, not my game.
Really? You should try it.
You've got a lot of the right attributes.
-Oh, such as? -Height, timing and elegance, of course.
Yes, I am, however, easily bored.
Ah, and lost, I think.
Hello.
Well, Duggan and Chandler would like to welcome you back to the fold.
Yes, I like it.
Upmarket rather suits Duggan, doesn't it? Though, I do think he might have got me an office with my name on the door.
30% pay rise not good enough for you, huh? (CHUCKLING) I suppose so.
Ah, why don't I buy you lunch later on? I can't.
-Ah, better offer.
-Um, Dominic, about you and me and Elsa.
I haven't told anyone here about this.
Is that all right? Oh, I was actually going to get some mugs made up.
You know, her face, "Daddy's little girl", written underneath.
(SIGHING) It's fine.
I understand.
Okay.
Okay.
-DAN: I got it, this way.
-All right, Dan? Yeah, good, Spence.
Thanks.
-So, new consultant? -House officer.
(LAUGHING) -You're not joking, are you? -No.
-Oh, I didn't mean you were -What? Too old? No, no, no.
You've just got bearing, you know, presence.
Experience.
Oh, so you're surprised at my lack of seniority? Uh, yes? And you, how long have you been pushing trolleys around for? Oh, quite a while now.
Ah, you're just down there.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Can I -Oh, thank you.
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) Um Now, you probably don't recognise me because But I do come in here quite a lot.
Yeah, I've seen you.
You have two little girls, right? Yeah, right.
(STAMMERING) Oh, and we absolutely love everything that you do.
-Great.
-No, I mean, love it.
-But -There's a but? Ah Yeah, you don't have any sweet things.
-Sweet things.
-Yeah, like biscuits, or cakes and macaroons, or muffins.
I make them all myself.
-And you want me to sell them? -Well, yes.
Please.
-It's not something I normally do.
-Oh, no, sorry, of course not.
(MOBILE RINGING) I'm sorry.
Hello.
What? What about the bloody ballet? (SIGHING) Oh, no.
I asked you if you had everything.
Okay.
Bye.
-I am really sorry, but I need to go.
-You didn't tell me what your name was.
-Oh, Trudi.
It's Trudi.
-Well, Trudi, come back in a couple of days, let's see if I can sell any of them.
Okay.
Um That is brilliant.
Oops! Sorry.
Bye.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING) Hi, I'm Katie -Hi.
Hi.
Katie? -Yeah.
-I'm Vicki Kendall, your registrar.
-Oh, Vicki, hi, hi.
Jack should just be coming.
-lf you want to join us -Sorry, everybody.
Sorry.
And welcome, Dr Roden.
So, who's first up? Why don't I take this, Katie? Then from tomorrow it's all yours.
-Okay? -Okay, great.
I just want you to have a look at Mrs Elliot, admitted last night, chest pain and breathlessness.
Chest x-ray looked clear.
(JACK AND REGISTRAR CHATTERING) (GASPING) (EXHALING) -Am I on time? -Just.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Thanks, honey.
You're shocked.
I've even managed to shock you.
Oh, what am I, some sort of aberration barometer? I want someone to disapprove.
Because you don't.
It's It's just It's just something I need.
Stupid question, obviously.
But can't that need be satisfied by the man who's lying next to you? That's just it.
Hari and I haven't had sex in quite some time.
-What's quite some time? -18 months, give or take.
Katie, justthey're strangers.
That's almost the most important thing, because this way it's It's not like with Dominic, it's not an affair.
I don't know their names and they don't know mine.
-It's just what it is.
-Until it becomes something else.
I know.
This is bad for you, Siobhan.
And it's dangerous.
It's not going to solve anything, which is why you have to stop.
And you have to find a way of bringing your husband back into your bed.
Right? All right.
You're right.
(SIGHING) Bloody hell.
(SIGHING) -It's not funny.
-Sorry.
-This is always happening.
-It's not my fault.
Well, it's not.
It's this, our life, our ridiculous lives.
I mean, we divide ourselves between two homes, which neither of us can afford.
We never have any money.
You're stressed.
I'm stressed.
I mean, none of us know if we're coming or going.
-We could make our lives so much easier.
-Okay.
It's simple.
Amy and I should move in.
-Because it makes our lives easier? -Yes.
Richard, we are not going to move in together because it's convenient, -or because it saves us money.
-Why not? -Because it's not very romantic.
-Romantic? Right, so you'd like me to compose a ballad and scale your walls with a rose between my teeth, -then my daughter and I can move in? -No, I'd like you to pick up your pants off the floor.
Or maybe even open the window in the morning when you've been to the loo.
The window? Sorry, I didn't realise you were such a princess.
Well, I'm sorry I didn't realise you were such a pig.
-Doctor.
Well, how did it go? -No one died.
-Well, a success then.
-I don't know, I didn't get promoted just yet.
Oh, well, I'm sure it won't be long now.
How sweet of you.
Trud, you don't have to do this, you know.
-Do what? -The big sister thing.
Oh, I'm just a wee bit worried, Jess, that's all.
I know, I know.
It's all so fast, yeah? And Alex, and Yeah, what do we really know about each other? Exactly.
Trudi, he is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
Okay? And I don't want to do that thing of going out with him for five years and then getting married because we're bored and can't think of anything else to do.
-This way it's -It's romantic.
Yeah, that.
Oh, what have you done with my lovely new kitchen? Hi.
I was perfectly happy with just a lump of cheese and a Kit Kat.
Now you're student again, we're going to look after you.
Not a student, house officer.
Very different.
Are you broke, working too hard and hung over? -Student.
-Student.
-Hey, hello.
-Hello.
Took me ages to get Elsa to sleep.
-How are you? -Oh, lovely.
-Any glasses? -Somebody got He called me a princess.
(ALL CHUCKLING) That's probably a bit strong, but then, Trudi, we're not teenagers any more.
I don't think I'm being that unrealistic.
What sort of message is that sending out to our kids, right? That two people should move in together because they want to save money? No, we should do this because we want to be a proper family.
Well, it sounds to me like you're asking for a little bit more than romance.
I love him.
I don't want to go through my life and not feel that -That intimacy with someone again.
-Oh! What about you, Mother Superior? Anybody at work making you want to feel intimate again? Oh, men will be knocking your door down.
Yeah, well, the only interest I got on day one was from a porter.
-Oh! -Porter? What's wrong with that? I don't mind you bringing a porter to my wedding.
I'm not bringing anyone to your wedding.
Come on, Katie, it's just a date.
Is he foxy? -Yeah, I suppose he was.
-How's Jack, Katie? Yes, what's he like now? Well, you know, married, a father, my boss.
-Sounds perfect for you.
-That's enough out of you, Snow White.
Well, never mind what's he like now.
What was he like back at med school? Oh, he was lovely.
They were lovely.
-Was he your first? -No.
Well, he was the first in one way, wasn't he, Katie? (EXCLAIMING) I don't know what you could mean, Siobhan.
(TRUDI LAUGHING LOUDLY) What? What do you mean, Siobhan? What? Well, he was the first to turn her over.
(SQUEALING) Katie, you slut! (MOUTHING) -It's not true.
-It was.
-You're making me blush all over.
-Oh, Trud! JESSICA: Dirty girl.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Bye, girls.
-Bye.
-Have a nice day.
-Bye.
Bye.
(RICHARD CHUCKLING) -Can't believe I called you a princess.
-I can't believe I called you a pig.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry I haven't been making you feel special, when you are, and I love you as much as I do.
So I want to make it up to you.
Will you meet me this evening? Okay.
Good.
Great.
Jesus.
Absolutely beautiful.
Thank you.
Well, it looks beautiful on you.
Actually, I have something for you, too.
It's not quite so nice, but Carrie, will you bring that document over? (CHUCKLING) What is it? Cheers.
Whoo! This is a pre-nup? Okay.
Um Okay.
Well, I um I just need to have my people take a look at this.
And, um, get back to you, if that's all right? That's fine.
Katie! We were just wondering if you would like to come round for dinner tonight.
Yeah, that'll be great.
Thanks.
And probably best not to mention it to the firm.
Okay.
Well, you're settling in very well here, but you're different to the rest of them.
Meaning I remember Tiswas and fancied Simon Le Bon the first time round? Meaning that if they catch us swapping Bowie lyrics, we'll never hear the end of it.
I'm just trying to make life easier -for you, Katie.
-I know, I know.
Because the last year or so, with the GMC business? Well, it can't have been very easy for you.
It's all right, Katie.
It doesn't make any difference to me.
-Hello? -Hello.
Hi.
I thought maybe you weren't coming back.
Um No, always go back for the Tupperware.
Right.
Right.
(CHUCKLES) Um -So, did the cakes go off? -Like a rocket.
Sold out in one afternoon.
Your takings.
I made sure I had a couple myself.
They were delicious.
There's something else in there.
That's your order for next week.
(GASPS) I now do cakes.
Your cakes.
Thank you.
SIOBHAN: If you get divorced, you stand to make a lot of money.
-Oh.
-The longer you stay married, the more you will make.
He's even added an infidelity bonus.
-What? -lf he's unfaithful, and, obviously it depends on whether you catch him, he'll add 25 grand to the total for each indiscretion.
Now, if I were you and judging from what you've told me, I would sign that thing.
No.
No, not in a million years.
Cheeky boy.
You know, I knew he was up to something.
I knew it! -Have a drink.
-Thank you.
And some crisps.
(GIGGLES) -Want it in my teeth? -Thank you.
It's like he thinks that I can't look after myself.
Look, forget about it.
Go to Katie's tonight and just have fun.
Well, I'm not staying at Katie's any more, she's got that dinner.
You'll be staying at Trudi's then, surely? Please, I'm not staying in that madhouse the night before my wedding.
But, love, you can't spend tonight on your own.
Are you inviting me to a slumber party? Well, yeah, of course.
I mean, I do have to ask Hari first.
-lf it's a problem -No, no, no.
I'd love you to come.
-There isn't a problem, please come.
-Are you sure? -I would love you to.
Mm-hm.
-Okay, well, that'll be fun.
-I can see Elsa.
Come on, then.
Come on.
-Yeah.
(LAUGHING) Thank you.
-To you, your cakes and what's-his-name.
-Lucas.
A man of great taste.
Thank you so much for this.
It's been -Romantic? -Yes, romantic.
What do you think then? Can I tell Amy? Get my place on the market? -Trudi? -I want us all to be together, -properly.
-We will be.
You don't Oh, no, you want us to get married.
Do I need to remind you that we're both married already? -No, of course you don't, but -But what? Well, I want to be with you.
Really with you.
Trudi, I don't want to get married again.
I don't know, Siobhan, it's not exactly convenient.
Hari, please.
It's got nothing to do with convenience, does it? I mean, it doesn't have to be forever, but one night? (SIGHING) You know, this could be good for us.
And she'd be on her own otherwise.
Okay.
Okay.
-I'll cook something.
-Thank you.
Thank you.
-Hey.
-Hello.
-How are you? -Good, good.
Thank you.
I think I should warn you.
Jack's friend, Dan, is here.
-Right.
-And he's awful, I mean, he's a heart surgeon and I adore him, but he really is the last of the serial monogamists and unhappily for you, he happens to be single right now.
-Well, I'm sure I can handle it.
-Let's get you a drink.
Glass of wine? Hello, Katie.
Can you hear something? -No, I can't.
-No.
(ROARING) Stop it! Hello.
-So, not a hospital porter, then? -No, not normally.
-Have you two met? -I am very sorry about that and for gate-crashing your dinner, but I wanted to meet you properly, so And preferably somewhere you won't be able to just crush me and then casually wander off.
Katie, if you want to crush him and wander off, you absolutely be my guest.
So we'll have champagne and Hari's going to cook.
It'll be great.
Are you turning this into your own little boudoir or something? No.
No, it's just, um Hari's up a lot with the baby and I'm the one who is working so Sometimes I sleep in here.
Sounds like a sensible arrangement.
He used to make pies.
I think his grandma taught him how to make pastry once and that was all he could make.
So he used to just bung anything and everything into huge pastry case -and cremate it.
-What rubbish.
You loved it.
-And you do, too.
-I do, darling, I do.
But remember, it's always me who has to wash up.
-Oh, darling.
-So, you two, how long has Dan been coming over for supper? -Oh, probably about -Six or seven years? -Yeah, since about 2000.
-Yeah.
Yes, he made a pass at Megan.
-No.
-Oh, God.
She wasn't wearing her ring.
Oh, God, honestly, Katie, she wasn't.
I was completely innocent.
Anyway, who could blame me, she's gorgeous.
Yeah, all right.
You see how we've put up with him for so long? -So lovely to have you here, Katie.
-Thank you.
How did it happen? You leave your surgery, do a year with VSO and then go back to the beginning again.
Don't answer that.
-MEGAN: Dan, be quiet.
-No, really, no.
I don't want to know.
Well, I'm a guest here, too.
And Katie's sense of mystery is crucial to my fascination in her.
Shut up! -Sorry.
-Love, it's just me.
Bye.
-So, fancy a lift home? -I don't think so.
Oh! It's just transport.
-Okay, it's not just transport.
-I've ordered a cab, so Okay.
Er, listen, Dan, I really appreciate what you did in there earlier.
But the last couple of years have been, uh, not good.
I'm just trying to keep my life simple now, -so I hope you can understand that.
-I can.
But that isn't going to stop me trying.
(DOOR CLOSING) Can I buy you a drink? No drinks.
-Hey.
-It's late, Jess.
I know.
I'm not signing it.
(LIFT BELL RINGS) I don't want to get married thinking about the money I might get -if we split up.
-Jess, it's just to protect you.
But I don't need protecting, okay? Look, we are the same, you and me.
-Right, we're loose, wanton -Strumpets.
Exactly.
That's what makes us so right for each other.
We are non-judgemental, above suspicion and jealousy, and we really do not need anything like this.
Okay? Okay? Infidelity payment! Yeah, right.
I should be paying you.
I'm very glad I'm marrying you.
Good, you should be.
Isn't there a rule about grooms not seeing their brides the night before their wedding? I'm pretty sure that's more to do with the dress.
Which dress? This dress? -Can we turn the lights out? -I like them left on.
Are you going to undress? Not yet.
(GASPING) What's your name? -No names.
-Tell me your name.
No names.
JESSICA: Hi.
Hi.
-Hi, Carrie.
-Good morning.
Ah, I was after that.
I wanted to talk through the dietary requirements of some of our clients.
Yeah, weirdly, I'm not organising this one.
Ah, Simon.
Simon, this is Carrie.
-Hello, Carrie.
-Carrie is Mark's -Mark's person.
-Hi.
Simon has his own copy and I know he's going to be delighted -to go through it with you.
-Yeah.
-See you.
-Absolutely.
I mean, my only slight My only slight concern is -I need you to save yourself.
-Well, that's the singles table.
-Exactly.
-What, you've put me with the freaks? Next to Jasper, your pubescent, sex-pest cousin? -Well, he's 19 now.
All man.
-Mm-hm.
He's the one that pinched Siobhan's arse last Christmas? Yeah, but he's always had a thing for you, Katie.
(LAUGHING) You wouldn't.
You'll be bored and you won't know anyone.
And I want a drink, so you'll be driving, but if none of that puts you off, then please come.
And don't smile like that because you will absolutely not be getting any sex from me, either.
Okay, come on, you lot, let's go.
Gina, put that down, please.
And don't you dare bring it.
-Come on.
-Let's go upstairs.
Gina! -Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, who's he? -I have no idea, but he's He is hot! Dan, everyone.
Everyone, Dan.
The porter.
-Hi.
-Oh, hello.
-Well, hi.
-Nice to met you.
-This is Hari.
-Hi.
Nice to meet you.
(CROWD CHEERING) I don't have to vouch for your virginity, do I? (GIGGLES) -All yours, mate.
-Thank you, mate.
-You look gorgeous.
-Thank you.
I promise to honour and protect you.
And forsaking all others, be faithful to you, as long as we both shall live.
(CROWD CHEERING) (BAND PLAYS SOFT JAZZ MUSIC) -Oh, no, no, no, no.
-You didn't say anything about dancing.
I'm a terrible dancer.
Hey, you're not bad.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING) -Great wedding.
-The best.
(LAUGHING) -I've been thinking -Someone -Sorry.
-Sorry.
No, you first.
Okay.
Well, you're right.
This marriage thing, we do not have to -No, Trudi, it's important.
-No, no.
It's not that important.
I want you to have something.
You better get your place on the market.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I've got something for you, too.
I stole it.
Ken needed rescuing.
Look, I've been an idiot.
Uh, no, no, no.
You do not have to do this.
Um -No.
I know I've been really demanding.
-No, stop it, it's what I want.
You're what I want.
We'll sort everything out, get divorces and you are going to marry me, Trudi.
Please.
Please marry me.
Of course I will.
Let's get it on you.
You can take it back if you don't like it.
(WHOOPING) Ah! -You said I'd be bored.
-Are you? Utterly.
-Listen, I'm just I've got to -Whatever you say.
Hi, Katie, how's the vow of chastity? -Honestly? -Of course.
-Shaky.
-Hi, Dan.
Hi.
He had to make strawberry shortcake, and I'm like, this is quite Yeah, so sorry, justexcuse me.
I saw that.
-I know.
-Mm.
Is it true what they say about pianists and their fingers? MARK: All right, Harry Connick.
This is your moment.
-Hello, honey.
-Hey, baby.
-Fancy a dance? -Okay.
(BAND PLAYING ROMANTIC SONG) Seriously, where are you taking me? I, um, got myself a room.
-You're supposed to be driving me home.
-I know.
But I'm bad like that.
I say I'm going to do things and then I don't.
Just like I say I'm not going to do things and then I do.
-Well, that's very dishonest of you.
-I know.
Last chance.
-I am having such a good time.
-So am I.
Tell me we're going to be all right.
I want us to be.
I want us to be.
(MOBILE RINGING) I know.
I know.
I know.
But it could be important.
I can't hear.
Hang on.
Hang on.
I can't hear.
I'm going to go outside.
(SIGHING) -I'm so sorry.
I couldn't hear.
-MAN ON PHONE: Where are you now? -Who's this? -We met.
Last night.
How did you get this number? I make a habit of being able to get the things I want.
Don't ever call me again.
Well, she can't get married naked, can she, Cathy? What's going on? Barbie and Ken.
-Couples counselling did the trick.
-Are you two staying tonight? -Mm-hm.
-Good.
Could you give me a lift to Siobhan's? I thought you were getting the bus.
(SIGHING) -Yes.
Look at you.
-You're going to be late.
It doesn't matter.
Mm.
Yeah.
(CAR HONKING) Hi.
Thanks.
Hey.
Where's the driver? If I asked you really nicely, would you change your mind? Simon, you're not coming, okay? You're my boss, you're a bloke and it's a hen night.
Come on, let's go.
(GIRLS HOOTING) -DOORMAN: Are you the lady in question? -Not me.
-No, not me.
-The blushing bride.
-How are you doing? -Congratulations, madam.
(HOOTING) (CLUB MUSIC PLAYING) -Hey, we're okay about this, aren't we? -You've met him, right? -Mm.
-So what's not to be okay about? I know.
He's gorgeous.
Excuse me! And rich.
-Yeah, but she's known him for, what? -A heartbeat.
Exactly.
I mean, doesn't he sleep around? So does she.
This is Jessica we're talking about, whose appetites are a mystery even to herself.
-She's going to be fine.
-And if it's the worst mistake she's ever made, I will do the divorce for nothing.
(CHEERING) -How long is this going to go on for? -What? -The born-again virgin routine.
-Yeah, the boycott.
-There's no boycott.
-Oh, so what is it, then? It's a happy abstinence.
A new job, a new beginning.
-A refocusing, all right? -Okay.
I'm just worried about you, Katie.
-About what? -Lack of use.
There are several well-documented cases of it growing over.
-That's gross! -Really? -No, not really.
-She believed you.
(LAUGHING) Forget it.
(HOOTING) -Do you know what he's doing tonight? -Paintballing? It's a stag.
Come on, I know exactly what happens on stag dos.
-Hey.
I'm sorry.
We've got to go.
-TRUDl: Yeah, you know, we've got kids.
-Okay, well, you.
Good luck tomorrow.
-Oh, thank you.
So good to see you guys.
Thanks for coming.
-See you soon.
-Okay.
-Thanks for coming.
-Bye.
Bye bye.
Where were we? -Hey.
Hello.
-Hi.
Hey.
-How was it? -Good.
Fun was had.
Most of it by Jessica.
-Well, I should go.
Big day tomorrow.
-Thanks for looking after Elsa.
Oh, thanks for letting me.
-See you tomorrow.
-Yeah.
(SIGHING) What are you doing? I'm picking your pants up off the floor.
They're supposed to make you want to have sex with me.
Hm.
(SIGHING) (HUMMING) -Thank you.
-What for? For Dominic.
For being, you know.
Come on, you.
-Come on.
-What did you two do today, then? Ah, not much, did we? Did we, eh? Did some housework.
(CHUCKLING) We went for a walk.
She made some new friends at the swings.
-Didn't you? -Did you? Come on.
Night, night.
Come on.
There we go.
(GURGLING) Bed? (CHUCKLING) Night.
Night.
Turn out the lights.
Take your clothes off.
-Pants didn't work then? -No, they did.
I just overcame the temptation.
Hm.
Uh, I wanted to make sure I'm ready for tomorrow.
Ah, yes.
Look out, Nigella.
-Are you making fun of me? -No.
Well, a little.
Sorry.
It's just Seems like a lot of work.
I mean, you're hardly a lady of leisure.
I know.
It's just a few cakes.
-You know, and the chance to -To what? Well, to get a new pair of tights, or a dress, or I don't know, take us somewhere for the weekend, somewhere different.
You know I'd do those things if I could, don't you? No, no, yeah.
I'm sorry, that's not what I was -I know.
-No, it's just that it would be nice.
-Where have you been? -Oh, Jesus! Hari! I couldn't sleep, I had a headache.
So I just went to the chemist and, um -We'd run out, so I -I must have finished them.
Yeah.
-I was worried about you.
-No, don't be.
I took two.
I'm fine now.
Good.
You're very smart for a late night trip to the chemist.
Yeah, I know.
It's kind of ridiculous, isn't it? (EXHALING) (CAR HONKING) (HONKING CONTINUES) -Hello.
-Hey, baby.
Brace yourself.
I'm coming up.
What's your PA doing on your stag do? Oh, she goes everywhere with me, you know that.
(LAUGHS) -So, where did you go? -Oh, Lord knows.
Slovenia, Slovakia.
Somewhere else maybe.
There was a helicopter involved.
(GROANING) Ah! -How did you get those? -I I was whipped.
-Did you deserve it? -Absolutely.
SIOBHAN OVER PHONE: Listen, I know it's your first day and this is the last thing you need, but do you think we could meet? No, no, no.
It's fine.
Of course it is.
You all right? It's fine.
Um, listen, I'll buy you lunch wherever's easiest.
-What's your canteen like? -Oh, awful, apparently.
I think everybody goes to this diner called Joe's.
-It's just by the side entrance.
-Deal.
Katie.
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
-Katie.
How are you feeling? -You know, terrified.
Don't be silly.
We're lucky to have you here.
Particularly Jack, who remembers all too well how you got him through med school.
Yes, well, let's just keep that between the three of us, shall we? But Megan's right.
We're lucky to have you here.
Thank you.
Listen, I've got to go and register, so -Do you know where to go? -Yeah, I'll be fine.
I'll see you on the ward later.
Oncology, take stair three down two levels, take a left, through Urology, through ENT.
Then you want any of the lifts, 13, 14 or 15 for the fifth floor, right through Paediatrics and you're there.
Got it? Have you got everything? (CHILDREN CHATTERING) All of Amy's stuff.
-Remember, you're back at yours tonight.
-RICHARD: Yes.
-Are you sure? -Yes.
Right, come on, you lot.
Trudi needs to be left in peace.
Put those in there.
Put it in, then.
-Bye, hon.
See you.
-Oh! No, listen to me, listen to me.
-Your cakes are unbeatable.
-Thank you.
-But? -Well, this is his, you know, this is what he does.
Food is his world.
Then he's going to love you, okay? Good luck.
Right, out the door now.
Out the door now, please.
Whose is this? Come on, Cathy.
Gina, out, now, please.
(KATIE EXCLAIMING) (LAUGHING) -Sorry.
-Sorry, not my game.
Really? You should try it.
You've got a lot of the right attributes.
-Oh, such as? -Height, timing and elegance, of course.
Yes, I am, however, easily bored.
Ah, and lost, I think.
Hello.
Well, Duggan and Chandler would like to welcome you back to the fold.
Yes, I like it.
Upmarket rather suits Duggan, doesn't it? Though, I do think he might have got me an office with my name on the door.
30% pay rise not good enough for you, huh? (CHUCKLING) I suppose so.
Ah, why don't I buy you lunch later on? I can't.
-Ah, better offer.
-Um, Dominic, about you and me and Elsa.
I haven't told anyone here about this.
Is that all right? Oh, I was actually going to get some mugs made up.
You know, her face, "Daddy's little girl", written underneath.
(SIGHING) It's fine.
I understand.
Okay.
Okay.
-DAN: I got it, this way.
-All right, Dan? Yeah, good, Spence.
Thanks.
-So, new consultant? -House officer.
(LAUGHING) -You're not joking, are you? -No.
-Oh, I didn't mean you were -What? Too old? No, no, no.
You've just got bearing, you know, presence.
Experience.
Oh, so you're surprised at my lack of seniority? Uh, yes? And you, how long have you been pushing trolleys around for? Oh, quite a while now.
Ah, you're just down there.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Can I -Oh, thank you.
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) Um Now, you probably don't recognise me because But I do come in here quite a lot.
Yeah, I've seen you.
You have two little girls, right? Yeah, right.
(STAMMERING) Oh, and we absolutely love everything that you do.
-Great.
-No, I mean, love it.
-But -There's a but? Ah Yeah, you don't have any sweet things.
-Sweet things.
-Yeah, like biscuits, or cakes and macaroons, or muffins.
I make them all myself.
-And you want me to sell them? -Well, yes.
Please.
-It's not something I normally do.
-Oh, no, sorry, of course not.
(MOBILE RINGING) I'm sorry.
Hello.
What? What about the bloody ballet? (SIGHING) Oh, no.
I asked you if you had everything.
Okay.
Bye.
-I am really sorry, but I need to go.
-You didn't tell me what your name was.
-Oh, Trudi.
It's Trudi.
-Well, Trudi, come back in a couple of days, let's see if I can sell any of them.
Okay.
Um That is brilliant.
Oops! Sorry.
Bye.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING) Hi, I'm Katie -Hi.
Hi.
Katie? -Yeah.
-I'm Vicki Kendall, your registrar.
-Oh, Vicki, hi, hi.
Jack should just be coming.
-lf you want to join us -Sorry, everybody.
Sorry.
And welcome, Dr Roden.
So, who's first up? Why don't I take this, Katie? Then from tomorrow it's all yours.
-Okay? -Okay, great.
I just want you to have a look at Mrs Elliot, admitted last night, chest pain and breathlessness.
Chest x-ray looked clear.
(JACK AND REGISTRAR CHATTERING) (GASPING) (EXHALING) -Am I on time? -Just.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Thanks, honey.
You're shocked.
I've even managed to shock you.
Oh, what am I, some sort of aberration barometer? I want someone to disapprove.
Because you don't.
It's It's just It's just something I need.
Stupid question, obviously.
But can't that need be satisfied by the man who's lying next to you? That's just it.
Hari and I haven't had sex in quite some time.
-What's quite some time? -18 months, give or take.
Katie, justthey're strangers.
That's almost the most important thing, because this way it's It's not like with Dominic, it's not an affair.
I don't know their names and they don't know mine.
-It's just what it is.
-Until it becomes something else.
I know.
This is bad for you, Siobhan.
And it's dangerous.
It's not going to solve anything, which is why you have to stop.
And you have to find a way of bringing your husband back into your bed.
Right? All right.
You're right.
(SIGHING) Bloody hell.
(SIGHING) -It's not funny.
-Sorry.
-This is always happening.
-It's not my fault.
Well, it's not.
It's this, our life, our ridiculous lives.
I mean, we divide ourselves between two homes, which neither of us can afford.
We never have any money.
You're stressed.
I'm stressed.
I mean, none of us know if we're coming or going.
-We could make our lives so much easier.
-Okay.
It's simple.
Amy and I should move in.
-Because it makes our lives easier? -Yes.
Richard, we are not going to move in together because it's convenient, -or because it saves us money.
-Why not? -Because it's not very romantic.
-Romantic? Right, so you'd like me to compose a ballad and scale your walls with a rose between my teeth, -then my daughter and I can move in? -No, I'd like you to pick up your pants off the floor.
Or maybe even open the window in the morning when you've been to the loo.
The window? Sorry, I didn't realise you were such a princess.
Well, I'm sorry I didn't realise you were such a pig.
-Doctor.
Well, how did it go? -No one died.
-Well, a success then.
-I don't know, I didn't get promoted just yet.
Oh, well, I'm sure it won't be long now.
How sweet of you.
Trud, you don't have to do this, you know.
-Do what? -The big sister thing.
Oh, I'm just a wee bit worried, Jess, that's all.
I know, I know.
It's all so fast, yeah? And Alex, and Yeah, what do we really know about each other? Exactly.
Trudi, he is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
Okay? And I don't want to do that thing of going out with him for five years and then getting married because we're bored and can't think of anything else to do.
-This way it's -It's romantic.
Yeah, that.
Oh, what have you done with my lovely new kitchen? Hi.
I was perfectly happy with just a lump of cheese and a Kit Kat.
Now you're student again, we're going to look after you.
Not a student, house officer.
Very different.
Are you broke, working too hard and hung over? -Student.
-Student.
-Hey, hello.
-Hello.
Took me ages to get Elsa to sleep.
-How are you? -Oh, lovely.
-Any glasses? -Somebody got He called me a princess.
(ALL CHUCKLING) That's probably a bit strong, but then, Trudi, we're not teenagers any more.
I don't think I'm being that unrealistic.
What sort of message is that sending out to our kids, right? That two people should move in together because they want to save money? No, we should do this because we want to be a proper family.
Well, it sounds to me like you're asking for a little bit more than romance.
I love him.
I don't want to go through my life and not feel that -That intimacy with someone again.
-Oh! What about you, Mother Superior? Anybody at work making you want to feel intimate again? Oh, men will be knocking your door down.
Yeah, well, the only interest I got on day one was from a porter.
-Oh! -Porter? What's wrong with that? I don't mind you bringing a porter to my wedding.
I'm not bringing anyone to your wedding.
Come on, Katie, it's just a date.
Is he foxy? -Yeah, I suppose he was.
-How's Jack, Katie? Yes, what's he like now? Well, you know, married, a father, my boss.
-Sounds perfect for you.
-That's enough out of you, Snow White.
Well, never mind what's he like now.
What was he like back at med school? Oh, he was lovely.
They were lovely.
-Was he your first? -No.
Well, he was the first in one way, wasn't he, Katie? (EXCLAIMING) I don't know what you could mean, Siobhan.
(TRUDI LAUGHING LOUDLY) What? What do you mean, Siobhan? What? Well, he was the first to turn her over.
(SQUEALING) Katie, you slut! (MOUTHING) -It's not true.
-It was.
-You're making me blush all over.
-Oh, Trud! JESSICA: Dirty girl.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Bye, girls.
-Bye.
-Have a nice day.
-Bye.
Bye.
(RICHARD CHUCKLING) -Can't believe I called you a princess.
-I can't believe I called you a pig.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry I haven't been making you feel special, when you are, and I love you as much as I do.
So I want to make it up to you.
Will you meet me this evening? Okay.
Good.
Great.
Jesus.
Absolutely beautiful.
Thank you.
Well, it looks beautiful on you.
Actually, I have something for you, too.
It's not quite so nice, but Carrie, will you bring that document over? (CHUCKLING) What is it? Cheers.
Whoo! This is a pre-nup? Okay.
Um Okay.
Well, I um I just need to have my people take a look at this.
And, um, get back to you, if that's all right? That's fine.
Katie! We were just wondering if you would like to come round for dinner tonight.
Yeah, that'll be great.
Thanks.
And probably best not to mention it to the firm.
Okay.
Well, you're settling in very well here, but you're different to the rest of them.
Meaning I remember Tiswas and fancied Simon Le Bon the first time round? Meaning that if they catch us swapping Bowie lyrics, we'll never hear the end of it.
I'm just trying to make life easier -for you, Katie.
-I know, I know.
Because the last year or so, with the GMC business? Well, it can't have been very easy for you.
It's all right, Katie.
It doesn't make any difference to me.
-Hello? -Hello.
Hi.
I thought maybe you weren't coming back.
Um No, always go back for the Tupperware.
Right.
Right.
(CHUCKLES) Um -So, did the cakes go off? -Like a rocket.
Sold out in one afternoon.
Your takings.
I made sure I had a couple myself.
They were delicious.
There's something else in there.
That's your order for next week.
(GASPS) I now do cakes.
Your cakes.
Thank you.
SIOBHAN: If you get divorced, you stand to make a lot of money.
-Oh.
-The longer you stay married, the more you will make.
He's even added an infidelity bonus.
-What? -lf he's unfaithful, and, obviously it depends on whether you catch him, he'll add 25 grand to the total for each indiscretion.
Now, if I were you and judging from what you've told me, I would sign that thing.
No.
No, not in a million years.
Cheeky boy.
You know, I knew he was up to something.
I knew it! -Have a drink.
-Thank you.
And some crisps.
(GIGGLES) -Want it in my teeth? -Thank you.
It's like he thinks that I can't look after myself.
Look, forget about it.
Go to Katie's tonight and just have fun.
Well, I'm not staying at Katie's any more, she's got that dinner.
You'll be staying at Trudi's then, surely? Please, I'm not staying in that madhouse the night before my wedding.
But, love, you can't spend tonight on your own.
Are you inviting me to a slumber party? Well, yeah, of course.
I mean, I do have to ask Hari first.
-lf it's a problem -No, no, no.
I'd love you to come.
-There isn't a problem, please come.
-Are you sure? -I would love you to.
Mm-hm.
-Okay, well, that'll be fun.
-I can see Elsa.
Come on, then.
Come on.
-Yeah.
(LAUGHING) Thank you.
-To you, your cakes and what's-his-name.
-Lucas.
A man of great taste.
Thank you so much for this.
It's been -Romantic? -Yes, romantic.
What do you think then? Can I tell Amy? Get my place on the market? -Trudi? -I want us all to be together, -properly.
-We will be.
You don't Oh, no, you want us to get married.
Do I need to remind you that we're both married already? -No, of course you don't, but -But what? Well, I want to be with you.
Really with you.
Trudi, I don't want to get married again.
I don't know, Siobhan, it's not exactly convenient.
Hari, please.
It's got nothing to do with convenience, does it? I mean, it doesn't have to be forever, but one night? (SIGHING) You know, this could be good for us.
And she'd be on her own otherwise.
Okay.
Okay.
-I'll cook something.
-Thank you.
Thank you.
-Hey.
-Hello.
-How are you? -Good, good.
Thank you.
I think I should warn you.
Jack's friend, Dan, is here.
-Right.
-And he's awful, I mean, he's a heart surgeon and I adore him, but he really is the last of the serial monogamists and unhappily for you, he happens to be single right now.
-Well, I'm sure I can handle it.
-Let's get you a drink.
Glass of wine? Hello, Katie.
Can you hear something? -No, I can't.
-No.
(ROARING) Stop it! Hello.
-So, not a hospital porter, then? -No, not normally.
-Have you two met? -I am very sorry about that and for gate-crashing your dinner, but I wanted to meet you properly, so And preferably somewhere you won't be able to just crush me and then casually wander off.
Katie, if you want to crush him and wander off, you absolutely be my guest.
So we'll have champagne and Hari's going to cook.
It'll be great.
Are you turning this into your own little boudoir or something? No.
No, it's just, um Hari's up a lot with the baby and I'm the one who is working so Sometimes I sleep in here.
Sounds like a sensible arrangement.
He used to make pies.
I think his grandma taught him how to make pastry once and that was all he could make.
So he used to just bung anything and everything into huge pastry case -and cremate it.
-What rubbish.
You loved it.
-And you do, too.
-I do, darling, I do.
But remember, it's always me who has to wash up.
-Oh, darling.
-So, you two, how long has Dan been coming over for supper? -Oh, probably about -Six or seven years? -Yeah, since about 2000.
-Yeah.
Yes, he made a pass at Megan.
-No.
-Oh, God.
She wasn't wearing her ring.
Oh, God, honestly, Katie, she wasn't.
I was completely innocent.
Anyway, who could blame me, she's gorgeous.
Yeah, all right.
You see how we've put up with him for so long? -So lovely to have you here, Katie.
-Thank you.
How did it happen? You leave your surgery, do a year with VSO and then go back to the beginning again.
Don't answer that.
-MEGAN: Dan, be quiet.
-No, really, no.
I don't want to know.
Well, I'm a guest here, too.
And Katie's sense of mystery is crucial to my fascination in her.
Shut up! -Sorry.
-Love, it's just me.
Bye.
-So, fancy a lift home? -I don't think so.
Oh! It's just transport.
-Okay, it's not just transport.
-I've ordered a cab, so Okay.
Er, listen, Dan, I really appreciate what you did in there earlier.
But the last couple of years have been, uh, not good.
I'm just trying to keep my life simple now, -so I hope you can understand that.
-I can.
But that isn't going to stop me trying.
(DOOR CLOSING) Can I buy you a drink? No drinks.
-Hey.
-It's late, Jess.
I know.
I'm not signing it.
(LIFT BELL RINGS) I don't want to get married thinking about the money I might get -if we split up.
-Jess, it's just to protect you.
But I don't need protecting, okay? Look, we are the same, you and me.
-Right, we're loose, wanton -Strumpets.
Exactly.
That's what makes us so right for each other.
We are non-judgemental, above suspicion and jealousy, and we really do not need anything like this.
Okay? Okay? Infidelity payment! Yeah, right.
I should be paying you.
I'm very glad I'm marrying you.
Good, you should be.
Isn't there a rule about grooms not seeing their brides the night before their wedding? I'm pretty sure that's more to do with the dress.
Which dress? This dress? -Can we turn the lights out? -I like them left on.
Are you going to undress? Not yet.
(GASPING) What's your name? -No names.
-Tell me your name.
No names.
JESSICA: Hi.
Hi.
-Hi, Carrie.
-Good morning.
Ah, I was after that.
I wanted to talk through the dietary requirements of some of our clients.
Yeah, weirdly, I'm not organising this one.
Ah, Simon.
Simon, this is Carrie.
-Hello, Carrie.
-Carrie is Mark's -Mark's person.
-Hi.
Simon has his own copy and I know he's going to be delighted -to go through it with you.
-Yeah.
-See you.
-Absolutely.
I mean, my only slight My only slight concern is -I need you to save yourself.
-Well, that's the singles table.
-Exactly.
-What, you've put me with the freaks? Next to Jasper, your pubescent, sex-pest cousin? -Well, he's 19 now.
All man.
-Mm-hm.
He's the one that pinched Siobhan's arse last Christmas? Yeah, but he's always had a thing for you, Katie.
(LAUGHING) You wouldn't.
You'll be bored and you won't know anyone.
And I want a drink, so you'll be driving, but if none of that puts you off, then please come.
And don't smile like that because you will absolutely not be getting any sex from me, either.
Okay, come on, you lot, let's go.
Gina, put that down, please.
And don't you dare bring it.
-Come on.
-Let's go upstairs.
Gina! -Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, who's he? -I have no idea, but he's He is hot! Dan, everyone.
Everyone, Dan.
The porter.
-Hi.
-Oh, hello.
-Well, hi.
-Nice to met you.
-This is Hari.
-Hi.
Nice to meet you.
(CROWD CHEERING) I don't have to vouch for your virginity, do I? (GIGGLES) -All yours, mate.
-Thank you, mate.
-You look gorgeous.
-Thank you.
I promise to honour and protect you.
And forsaking all others, be faithful to you, as long as we both shall live.
(CROWD CHEERING) (BAND PLAYS SOFT JAZZ MUSIC) -Oh, no, no, no, no.
-You didn't say anything about dancing.
I'm a terrible dancer.
Hey, you're not bad.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING) -Great wedding.
-The best.
(LAUGHING) -I've been thinking -Someone -Sorry.
-Sorry.
No, you first.
Okay.
Well, you're right.
This marriage thing, we do not have to -No, Trudi, it's important.
-No, no.
It's not that important.
I want you to have something.
You better get your place on the market.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I've got something for you, too.
I stole it.
Ken needed rescuing.
Look, I've been an idiot.
Uh, no, no, no.
You do not have to do this.
Um -No.
I know I've been really demanding.
-No, stop it, it's what I want.
You're what I want.
We'll sort everything out, get divorces and you are going to marry me, Trudi.
Please.
Please marry me.
Of course I will.
Let's get it on you.
You can take it back if you don't like it.
(WHOOPING) Ah! -You said I'd be bored.
-Are you? Utterly.
-Listen, I'm just I've got to -Whatever you say.
Hi, Katie, how's the vow of chastity? -Honestly? -Of course.
-Shaky.
-Hi, Dan.
Hi.
He had to make strawberry shortcake, and I'm like, this is quite Yeah, so sorry, justexcuse me.
I saw that.
-I know.
-Mm.
Is it true what they say about pianists and their fingers? MARK: All right, Harry Connick.
This is your moment.
-Hello, honey.
-Hey, baby.
-Fancy a dance? -Okay.
(BAND PLAYING ROMANTIC SONG) Seriously, where are you taking me? I, um, got myself a room.
-You're supposed to be driving me home.
-I know.
But I'm bad like that.
I say I'm going to do things and then I don't.
Just like I say I'm not going to do things and then I do.
-Well, that's very dishonest of you.
-I know.
Last chance.
-I am having such a good time.
-So am I.
Tell me we're going to be all right.
I want us to be.
I want us to be.
(MOBILE RINGING) I know.
I know.
I know.
But it could be important.
I can't hear.
Hang on.
Hang on.
I can't hear.
I'm going to go outside.
(SIGHING) -I'm so sorry.
I couldn't hear.
-MAN ON PHONE: Where are you now? -Who's this? -We met.
Last night.
How did you get this number? I make a habit of being able to get the things I want.
Don't ever call me again.