Mr Pickles (2013) s02e01 Episode Script
Mental Asylum
1 Previously on "Mr.
Pickles" Mr.
Pickles is evil.
You better have proof, or I'm gonna put you in the loony bin.
Grandpa: I filmed evidence of Mr.
Pickles' evil.
But then he forced me to dress up in a porno with a bunch of sheriff robots.
Burn in hell, you dumb dog! [Screams.]
- [Grunts.]
Ow! - I thought you were a robot.
It's off to the loony bin with you.
But Mr.
Pickles! [Both moaning.]
Come here, baby.
[Chuckles.]
No.
I'm sick of being the other woman.
But you're so much more important to me than Jill.
I want it to be just us.
Okay.
Jill, can you give us a minute? Mm-hmm.
Hey, do hookers take credit? Hooker? I'm a high-class whore, you jerk! Hey, get back here, bitch! How 'bout I pay you in black eyes! No! Aah! Thanks a lot, you stupid dog! Tommy: Mr.
Pickles! Mr.
Pickles Good boy Dog People's best friend Die Pickles Mr.
Pickles! - Here he comes - There you are! Mr.
Pickles Good boy! S02E01 Mental Asylum Sir, space trolls have the frog queen prisoner under their space bridge.
Sounds like a job for Astronaut Dolphin Detective.
Of course secret societies control the TV! [Laughing.]
The secret societies control your mind! [Laughing.]
I don't belong here.
I'm not crazy.
- Hair?! - Get away from me.
Perhaps if I lobotomize you, you'd no longer fear this evil dog.
[Laughs maniacally.]
Aren't lobotomies illegal? Never mind that.
Come, you have visitors.
[Laughing.]
[Buzzer.]
- Grandpa! - Hey, everybody.
I've really missed you, Dad.
I haven't had anybody to talk to.
Well, no time to talk.
Got to get to work.
Good to see you, Grandpa.
[Sighs.]
Guess who else misses you, Grandpa.
- Mr.
Pickles! - Oh, no! Well, he won't be playing with him anymore.
Grandpa's stuck in here now.
[Laughs.]
Oh.
You're right! Guess I'm stuck in here.
[Laughs.]
- Oh.
- Visiting time is over.
Bye! [Laughing.]
But we just got here! - Oh.
- I miss Grandpa.
[Whimpers.]
Hi! I think I'm a tomato.
Great.
Just fill out this voluntary admission form.
Come on, Tommy.
Hey, where are you going, Mr.
Pickles? [Panting.]
[Flies buzzing.]
[Whining.]
[Barks.]
You can't check yourself in.
Who would run Old Town? [Buzzer.]
Mr.
Mayor?! I didn't expect to hear about my proposal until the town hall meeting.
Mr.
Mayor? [Laughs.]
Mr.
Mayor? Mr.
Mayor! I've been looking everywhere for you.
Come on.
We have much to do.
[Whimpers.]
[Indistinct shouting.]
There you are, Mr.
Mayor.
Come on.
Back off, people.
The mayor is very busy.
And he'll see you as soon as he's not very, very, very, very busy.
[Whimpers.]
Here are the budgets for parks, sanitation, the fire department, animal control.
Date this, stamp this, sign here, and then it's time for some last-minute proposals! Mr.
Mayor? There you are, my husband, the mayor.
[Whining.]
Kissy, kissy? Hmm? Oh.
You dirty dog! Oh! [Barks.]
[Barks.]
[Growls.]
Come on, girl.
You do yours outside.
[Panting.]
Oh.
Now, Tommy, it's sad that Grandpa's gone.
But you and I can still talk.
- Oh.
- Okay.
- I found this new recipe the other day.
- Oh.
Tommy, I'd really like somebody to talk to.
- Beverly.
- Eleanor! How are you? How do you think I am? My husband is the mayor.
Everybody's lining up to give him their last-minute proposals.
Oh.
Could I give the mayor a proposal to get my grandpa out of the mental asylum? My husband, the mayor, has the power to approve anything.
Oh, boy! I'm gonna go propose to the mayor.
Oh, Tommy.
[Growling.]
Come, let's talk.
I heard about your father.
Crazy! Hey! [Laughing.]
Hey, hey, hey! Whoo! Triple jump! King him, Lou.
[Laughing.]
Yeah! - Hair?! - Don't mind if I do! Whoo, whoo, whoo! I'm free! I'm safe from Mr.
Pickles forever! [Bleats.]
Whoo-hoo! Hey! The secret societies are using us.
The TV, that's how they get to us.
I'm a tomato! And I'm a fruit fly! [Buzzing.]
Wait! Maybe I'm a fruit fly.
[Buzzing.]
Wait a second.
Something's wrong here.
[Whines.]
There.
Much better.
All right, we have some last-minute proposals! Whoa! [Indistinct shouting.]
One at a time! I propose the legalization of illegal trafficking of illegal machine guns.
My proposal is to make toenails the new currency of Old Town.
I propose a toast! Cheers! Just look at my husband, the mayor.
He's such a powerful man.
I found a flag! Well, I propose that you let my grandpa out of the mental asylum.
[Panting.]
So, do you like to cook? - Ugh! I don't have to cook.
- Oh.
- Because my husband is the - The mayor, right.
- Yes.
- Moms, I gave the mayor my proposal, and I bet he's gonna let Grandpa out.
But if he acts crazy again, he'll just wind up back in there.
[Whining.]
[Panting.]
Sir, Astronaut Dolphin Detective defeated the space trolls, but now he's making sex to the frog queen.
Wait! I'm a frog! I'm sure of it now! - Ribbit! Ribbit! - This show is a conspiracy! And we are live as the mayor is en route to the town hall meeting.
Cindy Spencer has the story.
Cindy, are you there? [Plop!.]
Sorry about that, Cindy.
We are live.
Wait a second.
Is that Whoa! Mr.
Pickles is the mayor! The mayor will kill everybody! We're all in trouble! What's going on here? [Laughs.]
Mr.
Pickles is the mayor! The mayor - I'm a frog! - Get off of me! You are not a frog! Take them away! - I'm a frog! Ribbit, ribbit! - No! [Patriotic music plays.]
Nobody understands what it's like to be married to someone so important.
- Mm-hmm.
- Take your husband, for example.
He could disappear, and it wouldn't matter.
Hey, my husband is Be quiet, everyone, and please welcome the mayor! [Panting.]
[Feedback whines.]
Uh, you okay, Mr.
Mayor? Uh, the mayor is very tired.
So I will announce his decisions.
[Clears throat.]
The warden's proposal to legalize lobotomies is approved! [Laughs.]
[Coughs.]
Illegal trafficking of machine guns is now legal.
- All right! - What? Old Town's currency is now toenails.
- I'm rich! - Really? Good doing business.
[Screaming.]
These decisions are crazy! How dare you?! My husband, the mayor, isn't crazy.
Linda, fire that machine gun outside, please.
Tommy Goodman's request to release his grandpa from the asylum is denied.
Hey, Mayor, my grandpa's not crazy.
He just tells funny stories.
You're crazy for not letting him out.
My husband, the mayor, is not crazy.
He ate that fly! That's pretty crazy! Stop this! My husband, the mayor, isn't crazy.
[Growling.]
His voice is kind of crazy.
For the last and final time, my h [Speaking gibberish.]
Excuse me.
I am in the middle of [Speaking gibberish.]
My hus [Speaking gibberish.]
Ugh! What is your problem? [Speaking gibberish.]
The mayor is having sex with that dog! Huh?! [Gasps.]
Well, I guess that's pretty crazy.
Take him away, Warden.
[Laughing.]
Mom? What was the mayor doing to that dog? You see, sometimes a man loves a dog very much.
You're a very lucky woman.
Hey, where's Mr.
Pickles? [Soft music playing.]
Doo-doo doo doo-doo doo Doo-doo-doo [Laughing.]
Come along, Mayor.
- I'm a frog! I'm a frog! - Shut up! You get the honor of being my first lobotomy.
[Laughing.]
What the [Screaming.]
[Grunts.]
Oh.
See?! Mr.
Pickles is evil! [Barks.]
What do you want?! [Barks.]
Don't ever come back! [Crying.]
- Grandpa! - Dad? They let you out? But how? Mr.
Pickles! Good boy! [Sighs.]
Oh! Oh, hey, hi, Grandpa.
Huh? [Yawns.]
Uh! [Barks.]
Whoa! [Crying.]
Oh, hey, dude.
See? I'm a frog! Ribbit! [Screaming.]
Mr.
Pickles Good boy Dog People's best friend Die Pickles
Pickles" Mr.
Pickles is evil.
You better have proof, or I'm gonna put you in the loony bin.
Grandpa: I filmed evidence of Mr.
Pickles' evil.
But then he forced me to dress up in a porno with a bunch of sheriff robots.
Burn in hell, you dumb dog! [Screams.]
- [Grunts.]
Ow! - I thought you were a robot.
It's off to the loony bin with you.
But Mr.
Pickles! [Both moaning.]
Come here, baby.
[Chuckles.]
No.
I'm sick of being the other woman.
But you're so much more important to me than Jill.
I want it to be just us.
Okay.
Jill, can you give us a minute? Mm-hmm.
Hey, do hookers take credit? Hooker? I'm a high-class whore, you jerk! Hey, get back here, bitch! How 'bout I pay you in black eyes! No! Aah! Thanks a lot, you stupid dog! Tommy: Mr.
Pickles! Mr.
Pickles Good boy Dog People's best friend Die Pickles Mr.
Pickles! - Here he comes - There you are! Mr.
Pickles Good boy! S02E01 Mental Asylum Sir, space trolls have the frog queen prisoner under their space bridge.
Sounds like a job for Astronaut Dolphin Detective.
Of course secret societies control the TV! [Laughing.]
The secret societies control your mind! [Laughing.]
I don't belong here.
I'm not crazy.
- Hair?! - Get away from me.
Perhaps if I lobotomize you, you'd no longer fear this evil dog.
[Laughs maniacally.]
Aren't lobotomies illegal? Never mind that.
Come, you have visitors.
[Laughing.]
[Buzzer.]
- Grandpa! - Hey, everybody.
I've really missed you, Dad.
I haven't had anybody to talk to.
Well, no time to talk.
Got to get to work.
Good to see you, Grandpa.
[Sighs.]
Guess who else misses you, Grandpa.
- Mr.
Pickles! - Oh, no! Well, he won't be playing with him anymore.
Grandpa's stuck in here now.
[Laughs.]
Oh.
You're right! Guess I'm stuck in here.
[Laughs.]
- Oh.
- Visiting time is over.
Bye! [Laughing.]
But we just got here! - Oh.
- I miss Grandpa.
[Whimpers.]
Hi! I think I'm a tomato.
Great.
Just fill out this voluntary admission form.
Come on, Tommy.
Hey, where are you going, Mr.
Pickles? [Panting.]
[Flies buzzing.]
[Whining.]
[Barks.]
You can't check yourself in.
Who would run Old Town? [Buzzer.]
Mr.
Mayor?! I didn't expect to hear about my proposal until the town hall meeting.
Mr.
Mayor? [Laughs.]
Mr.
Mayor? Mr.
Mayor! I've been looking everywhere for you.
Come on.
We have much to do.
[Whimpers.]
[Indistinct shouting.]
There you are, Mr.
Mayor.
Come on.
Back off, people.
The mayor is very busy.
And he'll see you as soon as he's not very, very, very, very busy.
[Whimpers.]
Here are the budgets for parks, sanitation, the fire department, animal control.
Date this, stamp this, sign here, and then it's time for some last-minute proposals! Mr.
Mayor? There you are, my husband, the mayor.
[Whining.]
Kissy, kissy? Hmm? Oh.
You dirty dog! Oh! [Barks.]
[Barks.]
[Growls.]
Come on, girl.
You do yours outside.
[Panting.]
Oh.
Now, Tommy, it's sad that Grandpa's gone.
But you and I can still talk.
- Oh.
- Okay.
- I found this new recipe the other day.
- Oh.
Tommy, I'd really like somebody to talk to.
- Beverly.
- Eleanor! How are you? How do you think I am? My husband is the mayor.
Everybody's lining up to give him their last-minute proposals.
Oh.
Could I give the mayor a proposal to get my grandpa out of the mental asylum? My husband, the mayor, has the power to approve anything.
Oh, boy! I'm gonna go propose to the mayor.
Oh, Tommy.
[Growling.]
Come, let's talk.
I heard about your father.
Crazy! Hey! [Laughing.]
Hey, hey, hey! Whoo! Triple jump! King him, Lou.
[Laughing.]
Yeah! - Hair?! - Don't mind if I do! Whoo, whoo, whoo! I'm free! I'm safe from Mr.
Pickles forever! [Bleats.]
Whoo-hoo! Hey! The secret societies are using us.
The TV, that's how they get to us.
I'm a tomato! And I'm a fruit fly! [Buzzing.]
Wait! Maybe I'm a fruit fly.
[Buzzing.]
Wait a second.
Something's wrong here.
[Whines.]
There.
Much better.
All right, we have some last-minute proposals! Whoa! [Indistinct shouting.]
One at a time! I propose the legalization of illegal trafficking of illegal machine guns.
My proposal is to make toenails the new currency of Old Town.
I propose a toast! Cheers! Just look at my husband, the mayor.
He's such a powerful man.
I found a flag! Well, I propose that you let my grandpa out of the mental asylum.
[Panting.]
So, do you like to cook? - Ugh! I don't have to cook.
- Oh.
- Because my husband is the - The mayor, right.
- Yes.
- Moms, I gave the mayor my proposal, and I bet he's gonna let Grandpa out.
But if he acts crazy again, he'll just wind up back in there.
[Whining.]
[Panting.]
Sir, Astronaut Dolphin Detective defeated the space trolls, but now he's making sex to the frog queen.
Wait! I'm a frog! I'm sure of it now! - Ribbit! Ribbit! - This show is a conspiracy! And we are live as the mayor is en route to the town hall meeting.
Cindy Spencer has the story.
Cindy, are you there? [Plop!.]
Sorry about that, Cindy.
We are live.
Wait a second.
Is that Whoa! Mr.
Pickles is the mayor! The mayor will kill everybody! We're all in trouble! What's going on here? [Laughs.]
Mr.
Pickles is the mayor! The mayor - I'm a frog! - Get off of me! You are not a frog! Take them away! - I'm a frog! Ribbit, ribbit! - No! [Patriotic music plays.]
Nobody understands what it's like to be married to someone so important.
- Mm-hmm.
- Take your husband, for example.
He could disappear, and it wouldn't matter.
Hey, my husband is Be quiet, everyone, and please welcome the mayor! [Panting.]
[Feedback whines.]
Uh, you okay, Mr.
Mayor? Uh, the mayor is very tired.
So I will announce his decisions.
[Clears throat.]
The warden's proposal to legalize lobotomies is approved! [Laughs.]
[Coughs.]
Illegal trafficking of machine guns is now legal.
- All right! - What? Old Town's currency is now toenails.
- I'm rich! - Really? Good doing business.
[Screaming.]
These decisions are crazy! How dare you?! My husband, the mayor, isn't crazy.
Linda, fire that machine gun outside, please.
Tommy Goodman's request to release his grandpa from the asylum is denied.
Hey, Mayor, my grandpa's not crazy.
He just tells funny stories.
You're crazy for not letting him out.
My husband, the mayor, is not crazy.
He ate that fly! That's pretty crazy! Stop this! My husband, the mayor, isn't crazy.
[Growling.]
His voice is kind of crazy.
For the last and final time, my h [Speaking gibberish.]
Excuse me.
I am in the middle of [Speaking gibberish.]
My hus [Speaking gibberish.]
Ugh! What is your problem? [Speaking gibberish.]
The mayor is having sex with that dog! Huh?! [Gasps.]
Well, I guess that's pretty crazy.
Take him away, Warden.
[Laughing.]
Mom? What was the mayor doing to that dog? You see, sometimes a man loves a dog very much.
You're a very lucky woman.
Hey, where's Mr.
Pickles? [Soft music playing.]
Doo-doo doo doo-doo doo Doo-doo-doo [Laughing.]
Come along, Mayor.
- I'm a frog! I'm a frog! - Shut up! You get the honor of being my first lobotomy.
[Laughing.]
What the [Screaming.]
[Grunts.]
Oh.
See?! Mr.
Pickles is evil! [Barks.]
What do you want?! [Barks.]
Don't ever come back! [Crying.]
- Grandpa! - Dad? They let you out? But how? Mr.
Pickles! Good boy! [Sighs.]
Oh! Oh, hey, hi, Grandpa.
Huh? [Yawns.]
Uh! [Barks.]
Whoa! [Crying.]
Oh, hey, dude.
See? I'm a frog! Ribbit! [Screaming.]
Mr.
Pickles Good boy Dog People's best friend Die Pickles