P-Valley (2020) s02e01 Episode Script

1 Y'all best sit y'all asses down.
It's time for P-Valley.
They say if we don't pay up in 30 days, they gone have our asses kissin' the asphalt.
Can't believe I even let you hide your booty money in the church building fund.
You sho'll wun't complainin' when I put that booty money in y'all account so y'all could apply for that loan.
The new home of the Chucalissa Challengers.
I put that money down for my new church building.
- This gone be my gym.
- No.
This gone be my church.
Fuck you, bitch! Hello Andre, where are you? I'm at your place.
I'm at the bar, uh, w-watching a game.
Well, I'll just come down No, no, no.
No, stay there.
I'll be right up dear.
I shot you.
Not well enough.
Where my money, Hailey? Fuck you, motherfucker! Why are you out here protesting the casino, Clifford? To help save my club.
Yo' club being saved wun't a part of the plan.
This casino might go away without your waterfront property.
I say we make the man an offer he can't refuse.
Aw, there's no point in making an offer if he's about to go on the auction block.
250,000.
Do I hear 260? I've got 250 going once.
Sold for $250,000 to the lady in white.
This here a carnelian, one of them healin' crystals.
This one 'sposed to give you courage.
I'on need not a na'an 'nother faking, floggin'-ass gangsta on my roster.
I'm looking for dat authenticity.
Well, I'ma Hurt Village Hustla for life.
I can connect you with the dopest producers.
DJ Neva Scared my producer.
Now you know good and goddamn well that me and you ain't meant for the outside.
So that's how it's always gone be We just gone suck and fuck in the dark? What y'all ballers doin'? We 'bout that bidness right now.
Niggah, fuck you! I was just flexing.
It's habit.
You know where the do' is.
What the fuck was that shit about? Just the guy who said he wants to be Lil' Murda's manager said he could manage me too.
Does he wanna be your manager or your fucking pimp? Why you was just yoking up Keyshawn like that just then? Diamond, that ain't none of your business.
Putting yo' paws on these girls is my bidness.
I don't know why Keyshawn deal with these gutter niggers.
Get off him! Sit yo' ass down somewhere! No! Put that down! Put that away! Come on! Why don't you go to the bathroom? Hey, I'm finna go to the 7-Eleven.
Wha We not askin' you to shoot them like you shoot us.
We askin' you not to shoot us like you don't shoot them.
We saw it yesterday.
That's a Hiiii! Heyyyyy! Pshh Ha.
Yaaasss! Pshh.
Make this car feel like a Mercedes.
You dancin' tonight? You don't wanna see her dance.
Need a receipt? Naw, uh-uh.
I'on need no evidence.
Smart man.
You can pull on up.
And make sure you roll up your windows.
You don't wanna get wet.
Damn.
Mmm.
Look, I might be ♪ No good for you, girl, trust me ♪ Love me from a distance, yeah, yeah ♪ I can see me and you in a penthouse right now ♪ Fucking when we kissing ♪ I don't even trust myself, how can you trust me? ♪ Love me from a distance, yeah, yeah ♪ Aww, heyell, naw.
Mm-mm.
Don't run from it.
Ha.
I'ma need you to come deep inside.
But don't hit them walls, now.
Ooh! At least not yet.
Keep your hands on the wheel! 'Cause Uncle Clifford's girls finna take you down to the valley, chile Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪ I might be no good ♪ For you, girl, trust me ♪ Love me from a distance, yeah, yeah ♪ I can see me and you in a penthouse right now ♪ Fucking when we kissing ♪ I don't even trust myself, how can you trust me? ♪ Love me from a distance, yeah, yeah ♪ Two wrongs don't make it right ♪ But it's one night ♪ Boy, you know you get it on sight ♪ My distant lover ♪ Know we gotta fuck with no rubber ♪ We don't need the covers ♪ Know it get wetter than a puddle ♪ I give you 50 feet but tell me, do you need more? ♪ Remember when we fucked Keisha with the deep throat ♪ TLC, so baby get your creep on ♪ She a freak, but, baby, we ain't equal ♪ I don't see nothing wrong with a bump and grind ♪ I just wanna bust it with you on the Facetime ♪ Lickin' on the screen, I know what it taste like ♪ Turn you to a fiend, I just wanna take flight ♪ I want all of you or none of you ♪ All of you or none of you ♪ When you coming through, I'm coming too ♪ Boy, I'm missing you, that's all I do ♪ I might be no good ♪ For you, girl, trust me ♪ Love me from a distance, yeah, yeah ♪ Wanna see this ass, throw some cash ♪ Got the type of body make you bust behind the glass ♪ Quarantine pussy on ya face no mask ♪ Bring your black card to the pink for a pass ♪ You can come see it HD, 3-D ♪ Niggah know that I'm a big freak, big tease ♪ Till you throw it like a teepee ♪ Trick or treat, made a niggah go skeet skeet ♪ Make the seat go squeak squeak ♪ Put it in cruise control ♪ Show you what I do if you was the pole ♪ Climb it fast and I'ma drop on it slow ♪ Tighter than a child lock on the door ♪ Got a fat ass with some pretty titties ♪ It look even better up in that Bentley ♪ Pussy litty, got yo windows looking tinted ♪ No kizzy I bring out the city ♪ That ass be coming like Jiffy, uh ♪ Whip the Rari while he play with that pussy ♪ Got his hand up in the jar like he takin' the cookie ♪ Got some real expensive nookie ♪ He gone pay me in Gucci ♪ Why your love so far away, got me feelin' like Boosie ♪ He be asking for the cutie with the big ol' booty ♪ Named Jucee, but I fucked the boy like my name Judy ♪ You can see it, but don't touch it ♪ Got 'em dripping and drooling ♪ One hundred falling scrub the ground ♪ Like the floor got cooties ♪ I might be no good ♪ For you girl, trust me ♪ Love me from a distance, yeah, yeah ♪ I can see me and you in a penthouse right now ♪ Fucking when we kissing ♪ I don't even trust myself, how can you trust me? ♪ Love me from a distance, yeah, yeah ♪ Love me from a distance ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ Mm-hmm.
Here's some weed wings on da house.
Thanks.
And some wipes for that dashboard righ' thur.
Mmm.
I'on fuck with you bitches ♪ You bitches stay in ya' feelings ♪ You say you chasin' a bag ♪ But you just broke and pretendin' ♪ Shoulda known you was fake ♪ 'Cause you don't clap when I win ♪ Now you tryna compete ♪ But you a low-key fan ♪ Not you gettin' salty, cause bitch, I thought you was bland ♪ How is it? It's fine.
It's been, like, five months now.
I'ma make you a doctor's appoint I said it's fine.
Autumn! Mercedes! Where y'all heaux at? We got one mo'-oooh! - Places, bitches, places! - Come on.
Last dance.
Shit Gotta get this paper, fuck these haters ♪ They can't stop me now ♪ I won't say yo' name, I know the game ♪ You just want some fuckin' clout ♪ All you bitches lame, I got good aim ♪ So watch your fuckin' mouth ♪ She Marie's the name, I can't be tamed ♪ I'm from the fuckin' South ♪ Uncle Clifford, how you keep that baby quiet? I can't keep her quiet fuh nuthin'! Thass cuz Uncle Clifford be putting bure in that baby's bottle.
Oh, niggah, I ain't puttin' no bure in this baby bottle.
I put whiskey.
This baby teethin' early, heyell.
Don't leave here tonight without confirming your transfers now.
I don't need another rerun like last night.
Brazil and Toy? - I'm good.
- Got it.
Extra-Extra and Jupiter? - Yup, yup, yup.
- Confirmed.
You get yours? You sho' you flipt me all my scrilla? Uh, yeah.
Fuh real? - Big L, you get yours? - I got it, bawse.
I'on even know why the heyell Big L even gettin' a cut offa Pussyland.
He ain't even got no pussy! I got them wangs.
Better respect my contribution.
Well, yo' contribution be burnt.
Now you know errythang in Pussyland go to the same pot, and then we split it.
I'on see why fuh? Niggahs steady stay cummmin' fuh the Mercedes Experience, and yet a bitch be leavin' here with Lincolns.
Chile, you ain't hardly leavin' here with no Lincolns.
Autumn zip-zoop the same scrilla to errybody at the end of the night.
- Should she be? - What does that mean? I'm just sayin', my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and what with all I been doing, a bitch need to be gettin' paid mo' panini than Toy non-poling ass.
Excurse me? Uhhh, you and Toy basically be doin' the same thang.
Guuuh, what I do and what Toy do ain't no kinda 'quivalent.
That's like comparin' a orange to a barracuda.
- I got yo' barracuda, bitch.
- Bring it, bitch.
Ah-ah-ah-aht! Security! Security! Big L, yo' ass stay slow as molasses! Is y'all bitches on y'all cycle or something!? Or it's the moon.
I'm just sayin', all y'all bets appreciate what I been doin' these past five months, cuz if it wun't for me, all y'all heaux wouldna made nary a Tubman this whole pandemy.
- Girl! - Keep on and this booty gone be gone.
So finally we get to see yo' last dance, huh? Toy, sit your ass down.
Naw.
Niggah, she always messing with me.
Making fun of her! Chile, don't start no shit, won't be no shit Come hure, y'all, look.
What y'all lookin' at? - I'll be goddamned.
- Ooh! Keyshawn on her glow-up like a bitch ain't never seen! From The Pynk to the Palace.
Our girl Keyshawn is a video heauuux! My, my, how thangs have changed.
Ooh, and look at Lil' Murda.
Oh! He quarantine thick, ain't he? Periodt! - Iced out okay.
- Mmm! Unh-uh! Unh-uh! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-aht! Keyshawn shadow shan't never cross my front do'! I don't want not na'an 'nother night like Murda Night in my life.
See, she forgot Uncle Clifford Rule number 45.
22: "Leave your babydaddy drama at home, especially if his ass white.
" Jupiter, I hope you ain't got no babydaddy drama we gone have to deal with.
I'on even know who he is, so we good.
What now? Got denied the relief loan again.
Talkin' 'bout we non-essential.
How is we non-essential? Do they know how many niggahs runnin' 'round here with blue balls? - How much is left? - From what? From what I gave you.
How much is left? 25K.
25-fucking-K?! How many Birkins did you buy, heiffa? Who you callin' heiffa, heiffa? I put 250 stacks down at the auction.
55 went to paying off that fucking predatory loan you went and got.
That left 195K, which I gave all to you.
Do you know how much it cost to keep these bitches afloat once everythang shut down? I had to make sho' they was fed so they didn't haveta give no head.
And how much was that these past five months? Uh, ab-about what, uh, uh, 55K? Okay, so how did all of that become 25K?! Look, they wouldn't let us dance on the inside, so I came up with Pussyland.
Then we had to beg, borrow, and steal PPE and shit.
Heyell, Maite had to go back home after she almost burnt her damn eyebrows off making jugs of homemade sanitizer outta tequila.
And don't forget the Paradise Room.
Which, as you know, had to undergo a complete renovation, partnah.
Ooh, I don't even know why I should be calling you that since you just steady stay screamin' and hollerin' 'bout how you the owner.
Quit it.
I gave you 15% ownership.
Is that what gettin' rid of bodies goin fuh nowadays? I'm just askin' for a friend.
I see why Mercedes want a bigger cut.
Heyell, I do too.
I'm the one who makes sure she's taken care of.
I'm the one who used her last dime to give her the down payment for her gym.
Well, ain't no use in being the richest bitch in the graveyard, Hailey.
'Sides, it's the least yo' yellah ass could do.
You got one more time to call me a mu'fucking yellah ass, I swear Aw, heyell! What? What is these heaux fighting about, now? Mm-mm.
Move! What? The aliens done come? - Huh? - The governor of Mississippi has just announced that lockdown will end next week.
The executive order allows It's a new day, bitches! Ooh, y'all ready fuh that Grand Re-Re-RE-opening! Hey! Despite restrictions being lifted, the death toll continues to mount.
Tonight, beloved Mayor Tydell Ruffin died at Chucalissa General of coronavirus complications.
He was the first Black mayor of Chucalissa.
City Council Chair Wayne Kyle has been named as Interim Mayor to oversee the city's re-reopening.
What do you think this means for all those big casino plans? Chile, this casinah shit might be Bernie just like the mayor.
The most recent data shows that over the past few weeks, prices have Fuck.
Aw, no, don't! Here he comes Here he comes! Just getting my milk.
- Oh, babe, hey.
- I'll be quick.
What are you How was work? It was good.
You were supposed to stock the basement kitchen fridge with my almond milk.
Ah, shit.
Sorry, babe.
Day got away from me.
What have you been doing all day? Look, I don't wanna possibly get you sick by coming up here on the main.
I called you, like, three times.
In fact, a lot of people been calling you.
Hell, Eloise called you seven times, and Who's Hailey? "My condolence" Can't be.
Eloise, sorry I missed your call.
I just heard.
When? I thought he was getting better.
Last night? Wow.
Okay.
Um, yeah.
Of cour of course, of course.
I can drive to Mississippi tomorrow.
No, no, no, you can't go.
It's not safe.
- The wake'll be at F&G? - No, Andre.
- What about the funeral? - You are not Andre, no! No! Eloi Eloise, let me call you back.
Britney babe You really wanna know how my day was? I lost seven patients today! That's why I said "good.
" Because the day before it was 12.
Baby, baby.
I just I know you think I'm overly cautious.
OCD, maybe, I I just I don't I don't wish this on my worst enemy.
Babe, I'll take all the necessary precautions.
Fact, I won't even go to the funeral, but I must I must Pay my respects.
Go.
But, get to the wake early, not late.
You know how niggahs are.
We all in the belly of the whale now.
Pressed up against them ribs, chile.
Trapped inside with them dark feelings and them dark tendencies festerin' like boils, swarmin' your head like locusts.
When Moses raised his hand, God blocked out the sun.
These days must be endured, felt, survived, as there is no dawn without the dark.
Hey, Lord! Hallelujah! When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma be stupid rich ♪ I'ma blow a whole damn bag ♪ Push start brand a new Jag ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ Maine, I'on know, maine.
It sound a little too twinkly.
Cap! This beat got some tremolo like you ain't never felt.
We done went over this mix, like, 24 times.
Well, niggah, maybe we get to number 27, it'll be bussin'.
It's just missing a little Play it again.
I told ya ♪ Listen to me.
When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma be stupid rich ♪ I'ma blow a whole damn bag ♪ Push start a brand new Jag ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma go stupid dumb ♪ I'ma spend stupid money ♪ Comin' up out the mud ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma be stupid rich ♪ I'ma blow a whole damn bag ♪ Might make a fuck niggah mad ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma go stupid dumb ♪ I'ma spend stupid money ♪ Comin' up out the mud ♪ - Yuh! You got that? Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah! Yeah! Shit, let me find out a niggah might not need a niggah.
- Right? - Huh! Yeah, that shit fresh to death on God.
Right? Aight, aight, aight, aight, aight.
Gone stir that up in the pot.
They thought that "Mississippi Pride" slapped, wait till the skreets get ahold of this one.
You'en even know I could do that, did you? Shit, no, man.
The fuck!? Pulled them pots out, that boy confused as hell, wun't he? Stir, that on up in the pot.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
Heard The Pynk openin' back up.
You goin' back? Ain't gone kill me in no club.
Punk ass.
You talk to Uncle Clifford? What the fuck that niggah be talkin' to me fuh? Damn, niggah, I just thought since The Pynk opening back up, they might have you back to pack it out.
Aw Naw.
I'm too swole fuh The Pynk, lil niggah.
Aw, you swole, now? Shit, I might have to get you a feature on this secret joint I'm working on then.
Fuck a feature.
What you need to do is mix down my mursic.
I'll jump on another niggah shit later.
Ahhh, Hurt Village Hustlas know they stay with that good shit.
You know we stay with that good-good.
That good.
Mississippi pride pride ♪ M-I crooked letter, crooked letter I ♪ Crooked letter, crooked letter I ♪ Humpback, humpback I ♪ Mississippi pride pride ♪ M-I, crooked letter, Crooked letter I ♪ Niggah, when you comin' out with a new joint? We need some more Lil' Murda in the quarantation.
Soon, niggah.
Soon.
Gotta keep one on me ♪ Don't get your wig split ♪ They don't want no smoke, ain't talkin' cigarettes ♪ Put it all on the line ♪ Went and got me a bigger check ♪ Herringbone chain stacked up ♪ I'ma need me a bigger neck ♪ Y'all flodge on the internet ♪ My niggahs be into dat ♪ See Impalas and Caddies pulling up ♪ Whenever I feel a threat ♪ We don't do too much talkin' ♪ Just a lot of gangsta walkin' ♪ Come to my city play it safe ♪ Or end up leavin' in a coffin, it's Murda ♪ That look wet ♪ Tropicana blue drip wet now I'm set ♪ Gotta get that trip gone get that bag ♪ That look wet ♪ That look wet, that look wet ♪ That look wet ♪ Call myself being celibate for a yure.
Now Mane hemmed up on some trumped-up robbery charge, then Miss Rona call herself visiting with no plans of leavin' Like somebody else I know.
I'm looking.
I just haven't found anything in Chucalissa I love.
Well, maybe you should settle for somethin' you like.
You seemed to be loudly enjoying yourself this morning.
Chile, I'on even know what a dick look like no mo' if it ain't purple and plastic.
I'ma tell you, tho, first thing I'ma do when this shit over with, is jump Mane dick on sight.
Wait, you not gonna eat? Had Henney, a blunt, and a nut.
I don't need nothin' else.
Blackie Mild.
I was thinking about what you said last night.
You're right you've been holding us down for a minute.
- Mm-hmm.
- So for the grand Re-Re-Re-Opening, I'm gonna negotiate a cut offa the door for you.
Just the do'? Yes, just the door.
I know you been holding down two mortgages, the house, and the gym.
So you welcome.
You've been doing the most, and we just can't be puttin' alla this on your shoulders.
That's why I'm auditioning for some new girls.
Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.
Ain't nobody said nothin' 'bout gettin' some new girls.
More girls in the rotation'll give your shoulder a chance to heal.
It's fine.
Plus, Beyoncé need her Kelly and Michelle.
The best we had are gone.
Soon as Gidget's mama passed, she took the first bus up outta here.
- And Keyshawn - Hey.
Don't bring that bitch name up in my house! I don't get you and Uncle Clifford She pulled a gun! She was trying to stop That bitch pulled a gun on framily! Where they do that at? You don't understand.
Actually, I do.
All I'm saying is, we lost two of the best-ish dancers The Pynk ever had.
We gone have to get some new blood.
Naw, we good on the blood.
You see how I snatched up errybody for Pussyland? I'll whip Toy funk ass and 'nem into shape.
Don't you worry your little head Bawse.
B-b-bankroll got it ♪ Big Bank Beisha, yeah ♪ Bitch, I'm back at it ♪ Post a thirst trap ♪ Bet your niggah double tap it ♪ Got that come back, got him turnin' to an addict ♪ Round of applause when that ass get to clappin' ♪ Booty so big he wanna throw a stack on it ♪ Bossy lil' bitch, keep a couple racks on me ♪ Thirty-inch weave I could sit my ass on it ♪ Make your babydaddy wanna spend some cash on me ♪ I ain't never, ever worried 'bout a sneak diss ♪ 'Cause nine times outta ten it's from a weak bitch ♪ Everything big, I don't do no weak shit ♪ These bitches can't see me 'Less they pay the fee, bitch (PERIOD!) ♪ I be stayin' to myself ♪ It's ya girl.
Miss M-I-crooked letter- crooked letter-I in all yuh buildings! Make sure you visit my website in the chat to get yo' Miss Sipp teas.
Let me know if you like what you sip.
Hollaaa!!! You had more than 400,000 this Live.
It was unbelievable.
You watched the whole time? I watch everything.
Hey, Key, I got another job interview at three.
- I got another Live at three.
- Keyshawn, I - Rome just set it up.
- Yeah, well, Rome Rome needs to ask me before he sets shit up.
He's got you doing this Zoom, this Live Also this endorsement deal, that makeup line possibility.
It's just work, Derrick.
Yeah, well, it seems like the only one working is you.
This is all just temporary.
This shit gone end.
The day'll come when you'll be back at the shop, and I'll be in front of a crowd again.
Naw.
That room's all you need.
Hey, hey.
It's okay.
Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
What you going on about? What? How my Chucalissa Challengers holdin' up? Hey, y'all! - I miss y'all so much! - Girl, booty done got sooo fat! Aye-aye-aye-aye-ayeee! Y'all don't need to be worried 'bout what your booty look like.
Be worried 'bout what your booty can do.
Now, I bet ain't na'an one of y'all been practicing yuh death drops.
No, ma'am.
Well, y'all best gets to droppin' cuz the first Challenger practice comin' up next week, and y'all mamas need to pay Ms.
Cedes, my mama said she ain't gonna let me come.
Mine neither.
But lockdown ending next week.
But my mama can't afford it, she say.
How many y'all mamas said that? Naw, my mama ain't say she can't afford it she just wanna wait until it's all over.
Well, guess it's just gonna be me, Terricka, and Ms.
Cedes.
Naw Cuz Terricka mama ain't gone let her come neither.
See, I told you we could repurpose these Pussyland poles.
I know how to remix me some shit.
Hand me that, uh, hex key.
Chile, what that is? Did you turn on the AC? Nah You think it'll be done before the weekend? Sweet baby Jesus! Sorry.
Didn't mean to scare y'all.
Just wanted to know if everything will be done before the Re-Re-RE-Opening.
Look, well, wait till you see this shit that Big L done did.
Mm Hoo hoo hoo! Yes! Yes! Impressive.
Shopping Network had a special.
Turn the lights off.
You see that? How the fuck that bleach ain't work? Niggah, you supposed to use peroxide.
There ain't no peroxide.
Nothing works.
Paint the walls red Bloodstains always bleed back through.
Woddy? Woddy? Woddy! - Uhh - What the fuck?! Goddamn! Niggah What, you was gone shoot the dead dead? Hell mu'fuckin' yeah! Well, it ain't the niggahs in the graveyard you need to be scared of.
Niggah I'm worried 'bout you.
Been working more all-nighters, my dude.
I see the devil been busy.
What you said.
Well, we 'bout to be busy.
I need you to book me on a tour.
Niggah, a tour? We gotta capitalize right now, Woddy.
We need to roll with that same type of energy before everything went sideways.
Me and DJ Neva Scared been making beaucoup music.
Yeah, I hope it ain't no slaw, niggah.
Niggah, ain't you seen my video got views on top of views? Yeah, but is that because of you or Keyshawn? Fuck you mean? Keyshawn been having bored-in-the-house-niggahs in-the-house-bored slobbin' into they phones for months.
That's why Rome snatched her up quicker than a Snicker.
Yeah, well, I wish I had a manager bringin' in brand ambassador opps.
Let me know, I'll call the weave and the lash company.
Niggah, I ain't no hoe! And if you gone manage my shit, I need you to manage it, Woddy.
Let's say you go on tour, in the middle of the pandemy.
What would be the draw? Keyshawn.
Good luck on that.
Rome said baby daddy got her locked up in the house all day and all night.
Can't believe that niggah white.
Me neither, bruh! Niggah, don't you wanna get up outta hure? Be on the road, sleepin' up in some pussy instead of a mu'fuckin' coffin? One thing niggahs know, life shawt.
If we don't get outta here now, when we gone go? You ain't get scared? No.
I ain't scared of the living.
M-I-crooked Letter-crooked letter-I ♪ Crooked letter-Crooked letter-I ♪ Humpback-humpback-I ♪ Mississippi pride, pride ♪ What up, girl? Ain't nobody heard nothin' from you since that video.
I'ma get you them stacks I owe you and then some, a'ight? Mm-hmm, keep talking.
Me and you headlining clubs all across the Dirty South.
Mississippi Pole Princess and Trap Prince reunite.
So you wanna go on tour in the middle of a fuckin' pandemic? Hear me out, tho.
Skreets been hangry for us.
You seen the ticker on our video? We gone be about 400k before the week out.
I get that in a day.
'Memba Murda Night, tho? Huh? 'Memba how it felt to have all them eyes on yo' skin? - I - All them folk makin' a memory of you? Think I'ma have to pass.
Bye.
Oh, and run me my stacks, bwoy! Ooh! You lucky you so cute.
Cuz you'es a stanky-panky.
A stanky-panky! Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Didn't know if you was gone make it.
How you holding up? Not well.
But right now, who is? Bet they got you busy showing Wayne Kyle the ropes down at city hall.
Mmm, chile, they let me go 'fore Ruffin body was lukewarm.
How's his sons taking it? Done cried enough to flood the Mississippi River twice over.
They know they loved they daddy.
What he call 'em? - The Trifling Five.
- The Trifling Six.
Six? He got back with the third baby mama in the end.
I feel like I should've been there in the end.
Well, still need one more pallbearer.
His youngest ain't but one, so we still need one more somebody to help carry him on home.
Uh I can't.
My wife She, uh I know y'all wasn't on the best of terms in the end, but you should know he loved you.
Something fierce.
Like a son.
Shawt me down? Wha? I said Shawt me down.
Well, ain't you sounding like a Chucalissa native? "Shawt me down.
" I guess Chucalissa done crept up in my veins just like a good vice.
Seem like you developed one of your own since.
I can only smoke far, far away from Atlanta.
Well, that wife of yours probably can smell it on you from here, tho.
Hailey, I thought if I saw you again, I'd slap you.
Is that right? Don't worry.
I won't kill you.
I could be the one to kill you.
No.
I already gotten it.
Whipped through the club like an F5 tornado.
I wish I could say grief gets better.
It doesn't get better? No.
Just changes.
Kinda like a cloud.
Sometimes it's cumulus, stratus, cirrus even.
And sometimes it's a fuckin' hurricane.
He was the father to me that my father couldn't be.
Always there for me.
And I can't even help put him in the ground.
Funerals ain't for the dead.
They're for the living.
If I walk ♪ In the pathway of duty ♪ If I work ♪ Till the close ♪ Of the day, Lord ♪ Mm, mm ♪ I shall see ♪ The great king in all ♪ His beauty ♪ When I've gone ♪ The last mile ♪ Of the way, Lord, yes, sir ♪ - When I've gone ♪ - When I've gone ♪ - The last mile ♪ - My last mile ♪ - Of the way ♪ - When I've gone ♪ - The last mile of the way ♪ - Oh, yeah ♪ - I shall rest ♪ - I shall rest ♪ - At the close ♪ - At the close ♪ - Of day ♪ - I shall rest ♪ At the close of the day ♪ - For I know ♪ - For I know ♪ - There is joy ♪ - There is joy ♪ - Awaiting ♪ - For I know ♪ That joy that awaits me ♪ When I've gone ♪ - The last mile ♪ - The last mile ♪ - Of the way ♪ - When I've gone ♪ The last mile of the way ♪ - Clifford! - Mm? Come watch this shit for me! What shit you need fuh me to watch? Do you see Mookie 'nem on, uh, uh, uh, Wid-Heaux Row? Mm I seen "'nem," but I'on see Mookie.
Niggah, take that shit off 'round me! I'on see Mookie.
Then you know what that mean! Mm-mm.
Mm-mm-mm-mm.
Nope, nope, nope.
Oh, come on, Clifford! Mookie is Tydell's third baby mama.
Now, she the mama of Tiger and Pantavious, - Patavious.
- Patavious.
And wha the only reason why her ass ain't there is because she is busy breaking her foot off in a pot of chitlins for the repast! So what, you want the Rona to run up on my ass - at the repast? - Chile.
You young.
You ain't gone catch it.
Look, almost 40 ain't young.
It's tragic.
I'm gone get up and go up my damn self then.
Where is my keys? I set If you just don't sit your dried-up coochie down somewhere! Now, you know that this Rona shit is just an excuse for crackers to keep niggahs in the house! There's often an unresolved tension between who we are who we say we are and who we wanna be.
But my godfather Tydell Marcelous Ruffin Sr never told a lie that wasn't the truth.
What you saw was what you got.
Y'all know he'd call you a bald-headed hoe in a minute.
Sho'll did! And he'd end a compliment and a insult with his favorite word Niggah! Y'all know you didn't need to be his blood for him to be a father to you.
That's why, despite the times you all stand here today to honor not only his memory but his legacy.
Niggah, is you gone go steal that plate of chitlins for me or what? Stinky Re-Re, stinky.
That's weird, I feel like I just bought some Pampers.
Since Regal been weant, that Similac been making her runny.
- I'll go to the sto - No, I'll go.
But I wanna get some tampons.
But it's not the fourth yet.
- But it will be.
- Okay.
Grab me a pack of Coors Light, will you? I miss my bitch! Why the fuck you got a ski mask on fuh? Ain't Arizona, like, full of deserts? But it ain't dry, bitch.
Keyshawn, the clubs are live out here.
We coppin' bags, and you need to come! - You know, I can't.
- Fuckin' Derrick.
Uh Me and Derrick have actually been, like, good.
Real good.
Bitch, what? We have! Fact, he said he wanted to watch the kids while I go out and get some air.
So a bitch headin' to the dollar sto'? Yes, cuz a bitch need them Moon Pies to get through this pandemy.
My mama loved Moon Pies.
Oh, I'm so sorry about Deanna, Gidge.
It's all Duffy fault.
Motherfucker, he killed my mama! Put a fuckin' mask on 'fore you get up in my mu'fuckin' sto'.
He got it from those lot lizards.
That's where the fuck he got it from.
- Wait, Gidge, I can't - So that's where - he got it from.
- Dumbass.
Gidge, I'm here, I gotta go.
Then he had the nerve to say he got it from me! The fuck' Diamond Where yo' mask? I, uh was just gonna, um, run into the store quick-fast.
I can't let you in without a mask.
Dollah sto' rules.
Well, but I-I was just gonna get Pampers for Regal and Moon Pies for, uh, me.
Diamond it all happened so fast.
You know what? Not here.
Then when? I haven't seen you since I can't tell you how much I think about that night.
I was trying to make it all stop, Diamond.
I just wanted it all to fuckin' stop.
I ain't gone tell you again.
Get outta here, Keyshawn.
Diamond, I-I'm trying to apologize.
Well, I'm straight.
Can you imagine if you woulda killed Derrick that night, hmm? Where you would be? Keyshawn, get the fuck outta here and go back to your redneck babydaddy.
"Guttah niggers.
" Yeah, he call me that.
I wonder what he call you.
He would never say that! Then why you think I tried to kill him? Aye, maine! Say, maine! Where your mask at, maine? Hmm? What the hell, man? Goddamn! Asshole! Diamond Naw, I ain't got no need for somethin' that don't work.
Hey, you 6'5", you ain't play no basketball? I mean, I play NBA Live.
All that tall wasted! Okay, okay, so Morehouse/Georgetown, what you doin' now? Uh, you know.
Waiting for the world to stop wobbling, I suppose.
Don't wait too long.
Hey now! Cuz the world steady stay wobblin', chile.
Hey! Uncle Clifford! That fit bussin! Hey, Chester.
Mm.
Tydell Jr.
Mm.
Tydell Jr.
Jr.
done got bigger than Tydell Jr.
Hey, Tiny and Tiger.
Where the baby at? Patavious in the back with his bitch-ass step-baby mama.
Mookieeee! Now, listen, now you know why I'm here for, heiffa.
Fuck you, Clifford.
Uh, condolences, bitch.
I'll be right here waitin' on my tuppa-wure.
Is he really dead, tho? Cuz that casket on TV sho'll was closed.
Why you really here, Clifford? I just wanted to make sho' so I ain't got nothin' to worry about no mo', you know, since you and your gawdaddy tried to push my club into a early grave.
Is it your club or Hailey's? Uh, me and huh's partners now.
Well, then you ain't got nothing to worry about.
'Sides, I don't even work for Promised Land anymore.
Got laid off soon as the virus hit.
Good day, gentlemen.
I just wanted to stop by and express my condolences about the passing of y'all's father.
- He was a great man.
- He was aight.
Damn! That was one of hell of a speech you gave back there.
If I ain't know it, I'd think you had reverend along with that esquire title in your name.
Congratulations, Interim Mayor Kyle.
Who woulda thunk Lil' Wayne would someday become the Mayor of Chucalissa? I do not wear this crown lightly.
The people will, of course, have to confirm me in the upcoming special election.
Might be easy since I'm only running against myself.
Well, I may have to throw this here hat up into the ring, 'cause I know how to rock a heavy crown, chile.
I got all these signatures to force this casinah vote.
I wonder how many votes I get if I put my name on that thur mayoral ballot? That was truly some savvy organizing there, Clifford.
Uh, well, you know the Mayor of Pussy Valley always gets thangs done.
Word on the streets is me and Pastor Woodbine's little-casinah-referendum-that-could is gone be right under yo' name.
I wonder how the people gone vote on that.
Well, that's something that Mayor Ruffin wanted.
And I'm committed to honoring his legacy.
Fact, I think the good folks of Chucalissa will show is that they, too, wanna bring prosperity back to this town.
Well, I'm all for bringin' prosperity, Interim Mayor Kyle, I just like it when that shit shared.
- Here.
- Oh.
Gotta go.
Grandmother Ernestine belly can't stand no cold chitlins, now.
Thank ya, Mookie! Good day, y'all.
I meant what I said, Andre.
I will do everything in my power to honor your godfather's legacy.
Or will you do everything within your power to uphold your supremacy? Look I know last time you came here, tempers flared a bit.
Now, as I'm sure you're well aware of, family business can be a fraught affair.
And I'll always be grateful you tried to help us Kyle boys put a Band-Aid over some old wounds.
If that's what you call a Band-Aid, I don't wanna stand in front of your bullets.
Good day, Wayne.
You mad you can't get these titties no more? You mad you can't get this titty milk? You'll be aight.
Once upon a time, there was a lil' girl with rull pretty hair.
Long hair like yo' hair gone be, Regal.
But this lil' girl wanted her hair longer.
See, she was on punishment, and her mama had her locked up in her room.
She didn't have time to let it grow.
So she had her sister go to the beauty supply to get her some bundles.
She braided it up in her hair making it so long it fell like ropes to the ground.
That should be all of it.
I got the rest of this.
Thanks for letting me stay.
I feel so bad, but all the motels in town were shut down.
Chile, don't even worry about all that.
Don't na'an one of us stay over here in this house no mo'.
All us been done moved out of Pussy Valley.
But it was something about this neighborhood, it just wouldn't let Tydell go.
Hmm.
Tiger, go on put your little brother - in his car seat.
- Okay.
Is that a-a AR-15.
Makin' that sweet midnight mursic.
Good ear.
Night-night, niggah.
Y'all forgot something? What is this? A retainer.
A retainer.
For? If this casino referendum go through, Promised Land still gone need them that waterfront property.
One, who's running to a casino in the middle of a raging pandemic if they build? And two, Clifford Sayles ain't selling.
But the new owner might.
I'll see you at The Pynk.
What's wrong with you? Talkin' to me like that? Huh? What you say? Don't start with me! I ain't in the mood today, all right? You ain't in the mood? Put your phone down.
This the best part.
Bitch, you know how many times we done seen this shit? Here it comes.
Here it comes.
Fight like a man? - That your best shot? - That your best shot? You can't do no better than that? Fuck! Bitch, really? Really?! You gone up and have auditions after I told you 'splicitly not to.
Really, bitch? I'm trying to make the best decisions for the club.
You already have six dancers splittin' the pot on a strip-thru that barely get customers! And now that it's time fuh us to get back in the building, you want us to be jackin' over a pot of chitlins? We need more girls.
We don't know where these bitches gone be rollin' in from! Look, we already boxed with Rona once.
I ain't doin' that shit again.
Jesus fucking Christ! I am trying my best to keep the fucking water out the boat, Mercedes! When I bought this club, I didn't plan on being hit with a fucking pandemic! So excuse me for actually getting us this far! For giving you ungrateful bitches a place to fuckin' dance! So what Uncle Clifford have to say about all this? It doesn't matter.
I'm the owner.
Not Uncle Clifford.
Well, allrightsa, bawse-uh.
Yousa want some lemonades before yousa goes to bedsa? Good fuckin' night.
Wade in the water ♪ Wade in the water, chirrun ♪ Wade ♪ Murda, Murda ♪ Watch out, watch out.
I told ya, I told ya ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma be stupid rich ♪ I'ma blow a whole damn bag ♪ Push start brand a new jag ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma go stupid dumb ♪ I'ma spend stupid money ♪ Comin' up out the mud ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma be stupid rich ♪ I'ma blow a whole damn bag ♪ Might make a fuck niggah mad ♪ When I make it up out dis bitch ♪ I'ma go stupid dumb ♪ I'ma spend stupid money ♪ Comin' up out the mud ♪ I said ratta tat tat to your snapback ♪ Drumming on beat ♪ My DJ Ain't Neva Scared ♪ So y'all movin' y'all feet ♪ When I make it out dis bitch.
When I make it out dis bitch.