Parenthood s02e01 Episode Script

Crap.
Morning.
Morning.
Hey.
Adam, I've got to talk to you.
No, I'm late for work.
You're late for work.
Yeah.
And you're a broken record.
Yeah.
Well You two are still family.
You want to hear some news? Yeah.
Do you want some horchata? Yes, I would love some.
So much hospitality from your daughter.
Where would she have learned that from? You know, that you would be lecturing on social conventions is a laugh.
After killing myself all summer flying back and forth to New York, Jasmine and Jabbar are visiting me.
That's great.
You're kidding.
Wow, cool.
That's so great.
- When does that happen? - Friday! Crosby! Crosby! Jabbar's coming! He is.
That's so cool.
Um, can I have a play date with him? Yes.
I'm excited, too.
I know.
I'm on fire.
I'm burning.
Let's celebrate.
How about a hug? - Here, will you try this? - Do you wanna? You, oddly beautiful stranger in the kitchen? This is Gaby.
Oh, famous Gaby! - She's not going to hug you either.
- I don't know about that.
Oh, oh, I'II I'll hug you.
It's social.
I can get a sticker.
Oh.
Okay.
I don't want to pass that up.
Oh, here is your horchata.
Um, it's kind of weird that we haven't met yet, don't you think? - Crosby, Crosby.
- Yes.
Crosby, Crosby, sit down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe Jabbar could even, you know, have a sleepover.
- Are you good at sleepovers? - Well, I've never had one before, but it's probably worth a lot of stickers because it's extremely social, right? Yeah, it is extremely social, Max.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
- Thank you, Gaby.
- All right, then.
Hey, Ma.
Adam, your father's in the barn.
Listen, I got to get to work.
I have a crisis.
We've got a leak, and he's going to fix it himself.
Oh, God.
Remember when he changed out the fuse box? Three-alarm fire and $5,000 later.
Okay.
All right.
I'll stop over on my way in, okay? Oh, thanks, sweetie.
You're the best.
Zeek? Huh? Why don't you wait till Adam gets here? Why would I wait for Adam to get here when I'm perfectly capable Because I asked you to.
Camille, look, I'm not going to be stopped from fixing a leak in my own house because some I hear you and I see you.
And I'm breathing.
You're out of luck.
Yeah? Yeah.
Too bad.
Hey! Did I come from a vagina? Where did you hear that? Did I? Um, yeah, you did.
Um Wow.
Did you come out of a vagina, too? Do you want ice cream? Ice cream sounds like such a great idea.
That sounds super good, doesn't it? That'd be a great idea.
Did you? Okay I don't This is I did.
I did as well.
How about you? Um, bug, I don't think we're going to have this Yeah.
Yeah, I came from a vagina.
Wow! Our whole family came from vaginas! Kaitlin, our whole family came from vaginas! She's so smart.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
Adam, the roof is caving in.
It's like 2012 in there.
Yeah.
What are you going to do about it? Well, listen.
I really don't have time to take a look at it.
Okay? Just tell Mom I stopped by.
What do you mean? If it's a simple leak, he can fix it, okay? No, he can't.
But if it's a serious plumbing issue, don't let him anywhere near it.
I know that.
Hey.
Hey, Adam.
You need me to take a look? You'd better get to work.
You don't want to give Gordon any ammo.
Ammo? What is that supposed to mean? Hey, you said that he was coming down hard at you at work.
Hard.
I didn't say he was coming down on me at work.
Oh, please, Adam.
Come on.
You know how the corporate world works.
Gordon's the boss, and you're just a serf, Son.
You know what happens to serfs.
They get beheaded.
Where do you get this stuff? No, no.
Just don't even rise to the bait.
Go sell some shoes, Son.
Listen to me.
Okay, you are better at making repairs Than anybody I know, okay? Can you just deal with this for me? I can't believe you almost even got that without laughing.
Tell Mom I stopped by.
I will, but I have a job interview today.
And I'm excited about it.
Okay, I get it, you need a job.
Okay, and I have a bunch of people who are depending on me to keep their jobs.
So I need to generate new products.
I've got to go.
Hey! I thought you were helping your grandfather.
I asked you to do that half an hour ago.
I know.
I can't find my shoes.
Hey, Drew.
You can't find your shoes? No.
Oh, my God.
Excuse me.
Do you have anything for cramps? Yeah.
Is it bad? I'm like having a heavy All right, that's enough.
Where are your shoes? Why is nobody wearing shoes? Oh, my God.
You know what you should invent? Like a shoe LoJack.
Like a beeper thing, you know? That you have a clicker and the shoe beeps and that way you can find it.
Mothers all over America would love it.
I would love it.
That's just That's annoying.
All right, I got to go.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
But wait, what did you think of my idea? LoJack shoe? I'm going to put that in my idea file.
Whatever that is.
Whoo-hoo! Oh, boy.
I gotta go.
Okay, I gotta go! Adam! This baby's gushing! It's just a leak, though.
I can take care of it.
You know, you might want to call Joel for help on this one.
He's a professional.
Adam! Will you take me for some pizza? No, they outlawed pizza since you left.
What? Yeah, it was making people's hair fall out.
It won't I'm just kidding you.
Of course I'll take you to pizza.
I love going to pizza, because Jabbar.
Sorry, sweetie.
Say goodbye to your dad.
We gotta go.
Okay.
Wait.
Hey, how would you feel about having a little sleepover at your cousin Max's house? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah? Yeah? All right, then maybe your mother and I could have a little much-needed alone time.
Whoo-hoo.
Hey, honey, we gotta go.
Sweetie, you got to bend down more, I can't see you.
Hey, we got to go.
Okay, well, it's the arranged time, though, so I know, but I've got 1,000 things to do before the weekend, so Well, I miss you guys.
I can't wait to see you.
Miss you, too.
There's a monster on my computer screen.
Braverman? Hey, Gordon.
Listen, I'm really sorry.
I just got caught up in a family situation.
Come on in.
Let's talk about that.
Great.
You know, I had to dash over to my parents' house because they have this gigantic leak in their guest house where my sister is staying, so But I'm I'm just The point is, I know I've missed a lot of work lately.
You know my situation with Max, but summers are always a little crazy.
And you know, school's back next week.
Adam, we're very different.
Yeah.
Agreed, man.
I've got a condo in Nob Hill, you've got a real home in Berkeley.
I have a sailboat in Sausalito.
You drive a minivan.
I've had a slew of tantalizing relations, and you You've got Katherine.
Uh, Kristina, but, yeah.
Listen, Adam, I just need to know that your personal issues are not going to, you know, interfere with work.
Gordon, come on.
This company has my complete and undivided attention.
Listen, I have a family.
I have other things going on.
But even when I'm away from here, I'm always thinking about the company, you know? I am always thinking.
For example? Well, you know, this morning when I was driving to work, I had this idea.
Okay, now, it might be a terrible idea, but I was thinking about how You know how kids are always losing their shoes? Well, they are.
It's a universal thing.
Uh I was thinking about a kid shoe with a clicker.
Kid loses his shoe, you push the clicker, it beeps, you find it, whether it's, you know, under the bed, it's in the closet, in the garage.
Click, bzzt, bam! Shoe.
You thought of this? Yes.
Are you kidding me? That's great.
I love it.
It's brill.
We got to move.
All right, so you want me to get on this? Yes, right away.
Are you kidding me? All right, I'm on it.
I love it.
Great.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
By the way Yeah? This whole thing with the leak at your parents' house? Yeah? Next time, call a plumber.
Ooh, Italian.
That's good for an interview, right? Yeah, yeah.
Well, you don't need a blazer with this outfit at all.
No, no.
I want to look really corporate.
I want to look really serious.
That actually looks better than this one.
It does.
Oh, let me see that one again, though.
Um, no.
No.
No.
Okay, I'm going to wear this one.
I like it.
Please? It makes me feel corporate and serious.
Good.
Wonderful.
Joel, thank you so much for dealing with Dad.
- Oh, yeah.
- And good luck.
Yes.
You know, you can't actually let him do anything.
You can't let him make any decision.
You have to make every decision.
But you have to make him think that all the decisions you're making are his.
That's so important.
Ooh, I like this.
Do you like this? Okay, how exactly am I supposed to do all the work and make him think he's doing it? Only you can figure that one out.
Yep.
Figure it out.
Thank you so much.
You are the greatest, babe.
You are the greatest, babe.
Okay, can I borrow your purse, too? 'Cause it's blue and it kind of matches.
Do you mind? Yeah, because You have a million of them.
No, no, would you Awesome.
Okay.
I love you.
You're the best.
And I love you.
Do I look like the assistant to the assistant manager of Christy's Clothes, clothes for real people? Absolutely.
Yep.
Spot on.
I have a really good feeling about this.
Thank you, guys.
- Good.
- See ya.
Bye! Good luck! Last question, the leading cause of teenage death in America? Uh, what is automobile accidents? Bingo.
You got it right.
Okay, let me tally these up real quick.
Forty-nine out of fifty.
You missed one.
Yeah, I missed one.
Can I drive now? Of course, honey.
You can drive.
That's why we're here.
Great.
Hold on a second, though.
What? Just be Just patience, okay? I'm just putting the car in gear.
Fine.
Put the car into gear, and keep your foot firmly depressed onto Okay, now, I can go.
Haddie.
Let go of my leg.
I'm trying to Let go! Let go of my leg! Brake! Stop it! Okay! I didn't know if I was going or stopping.
You have got to listen to me! This is our fourth lesson.
Are we going to get on the road ever? I don't know.
You know something? I really appreciate you taking the time to do this, Joel.
I mean, I know you're not doing anything now that Sydney's back in school.
Yeah, just poppin' those bonbons.
Yeah.
You know what I don't believe in? What's that? Roofers.
You invite them into your house.
They do all this crap work and then you end up paying.
You don't even know what they're doing.
That's a good point.
Whoa.
Whoa.
That beam is totally rotted.
You got that right.
And there's no There's no tar paper between the roof and the wood.
Who did this? That'd be me.
That's quality work, huh? I mean, I couldn't afford tar paper at the time, so Yeah.
Yeah, well I did what I could.
Sure.
Yeah.
Look, Joel, I know that you've dabbled in some home repair.
I'm a licensed contractor.
So, here's the deal, Joel.
Mmm-hmm.
I built this with my own two hands.
I converted it from a garage into a guest house, so I'll be calling the shots.
Is that going to be okay with you? Wouldn't have it any other way.
And, I want you to know, there's a six pack in it for you when you're done.
It's nice to see you.
What's going on? Um, well, I'm riding my bike.
So, Mom doesn't want me to ever drive is what I'm getting from her.
Yeah.
Still not out of the parking lot, huh? No, we're not even close.
And I just would love for you to reconsider teaching me how to drive.
I'm really busy at work.
And we can't change this up on your mother.
She's going to feel like You know, she's going to take it personally.
Dad, I It's ridiculous.
It's like I'll show you.
If you are me Okayand you're driving.
And so, we're both in the car.
Mmm-hmm.
Now put your hands on the wheel.
All right.
Put your hands on the wheel.
And make sure No, ten and two.
Ten and two.
Okay, ten and two.
Yeah.
No.
Uh, don't look at me like that.
Don't look at me like that.
Yeah, you're being your mother.
I see, okay.
And I'm driving.
Okay.
So, you're driving.
Now slowly put your foot on the gas pedal.
All right.
What are you doing? Huh.
That's Mom.
What? Show me that you recognize this.
I know you know it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Dad, do you guys have like some stupid agreement about not acknowledging each other's flaws? Yeah.
It's called marriage.
Braverman.
I ran the beeper shoe concept by Yeah.
Hey, Gordon, you remember my daughter.
Hi.
Oh, of course, how are you? Emily, right? Uh, hey.
Good.
Great.
It's Haddie.
Haddie.
Oh.
Haddie, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Hey, did you need me to come in the office? 'Cause she was just going to leave in a minute.
We were just having a family crisis.
But we have ten a day, so Haddie She's being hyperbolic.
That's not true.
Well, I don't mean to break up another family crisis.
Um, I'll be in my office, okay? All right.
I'll be over as soon as I can.
It's good to see you again, Edie.
Did he just say "Edie"? Yeah, he did.
Listen, I will talk to your mother.
We'll fix it.
We'll get you out of the parking lot, okay? Okay.
Thank you.
All right.
Bye.
Nice to see you.
Stop by any time.
Bye.
Be afraid for my life.
Braverman! I'm coming in, Gordon.
- All right.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah? Yeah.
You know, let me cut the water off before you No, we don't need that.
Hey, come on.
I know what I'm doing here.
Shut it off! Shut it off, Joel! Come on, man! Great idea.
Damn it! Come on! All we got is good pressure! Where is it? I don't know! It's down there somewhere! You built it! Oh, God! Our father is going completely insane.
No, he's always been this way.
Should we do something? Trust Joel.
I guess.
Hey, how did that, uh, job interview go? Great.
Fantastic.
Really? No, they didn't seem to be impressed by my 12 years of waitressing at Nick's Pub.
Listen, Sarah, you know, you're going to find something eventually and you're just gonna forget about this period.
This period, which has lasted for 38 years? I hope so.
Hey, you know, that idea you had about the shoe clicker thing? You sold it, we made a million dollars? No, not exactly, but I did bring the idea up to my boss.
And he fired you? Mmm-mmm.
No, he liked it, actually.
No.
Yeah, and I think that, uh, you know, we're going to maybe develop the idea.
No, not really! Yeah.
Look, we develop a lot of ideas, and a lot of them end up going nowhere, but No, no, I know.
But that's amazing.
Oh, my God! So Uh, you know, thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, listen, I gotta go.
I got to get back to the wife and kids, so I'II I'll see you later.
Well, hey, I mean So, you know, good luck with it.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Hey, Haddie stopped by the office today.
She did? She said that you guys still haven't made it out of the parking lot.
What's that? Honey, you're cutting that wrong.
The skin has to be completely off.
I'm not cutting it wrong.
I'm doing it fancy, like this.
No, no.
It's fine.
You have to take all of the stripeys off.
Why? Max won't eat it.
He'll eat it.
No, he won't.
Listen, honey, all I'm saying is that when I learned how to drive, my Dad took me out on the road the very first day.
Right.
Zeek just threw you to the wolves.
That's a big shocker.
Absolutely.
First day.
Wasn't a problem.
I haven't had a single moving violation in my life.
Really? Are you criticizing my driving record? Because I'm pretty good.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm just saying, you should try to get Haddie out on the road.
Absolutely.
I will take her out on the road when she's ready.
Listen, honey, I know that this is hard.
Our 16-year-old daughter is learning how to drive.
Honey.
It's not the easiest thing in the world to accept.
This is not about me right now.
You sure? It's about her.
I will take her out when she's ready.
She's not ready.
Okay.
All right.
Trust me.
Okay.
You need to Look.
No, he's not.
He's going to eat them like this.
It's going to be fine.
So it starts out as an egg.
And once the egg gets fertilized, it develops into a baby.
It's one of life's greatest miracles.
Does that make sense? Wait, so how does the egg get fertilized? It happens.
Yep.
It just magically happens? Sydney.
It The dad The dad fertilizes it.
The dad? Yeah, it's the dad's job.
Daddy, you brought the fertilizer? Yep.
Yes, he did.
Well, how'd you get the fertilizer into the egg? I think we should have ice cream today.
I want to know how you did it.
Well The dad has what's called Julia.
The dad has what's called a penis.
And he uses the penis to fertilize the egg.
And the fertilizer is called sperm.
Oh, jeez.
And, um Where does it happen? Does the egg come out or does the sperm go in? I'm going to have mint Mint chocolate chip.
Mmm.
Daddy's going to have a sundae.
Yep.
That sounds great.
That's a million dollar idea.
No, it isn't.
It's not even a total idea.
I just It was off the top of my head.
It's a game changer, Sarah.
That's what that is.
Dad, really? Yeah.
No, Dad.
You know what? They're not even gonna use it or do anything with it.
Don't think like that.
Sweetheart, you have a gift.
- I don't have a gift.
- I have a kid who can't find his shoes.
Excuse me, I need a spoon.
Oh, honey, listen.
Sweetheart, I love you, but you got to quit doing that.
Doing what? Well, belittling yourself, sweetheart.
It's a defense mechanism.
Zeek, come on.
She hasn't even had her coffee yet.
All I'm trying to do is just tell her she should value her ideas, Camille.
Yes, I can hear that.
And I'm trying to say that you should let Sarah and Adam manage their own lives.
Yeah, but all I'm trying to do is just instill a little bit of confidence I hear you and I see you, sweetheart.
I'll be in my studio.
Dad? Hmm? Are you my dad? Yeah.
Is that marriage counseling? Wow.
Marriage counseling, yeah.
A hundred and fifty bucks an hour, I don't understand a damn word the guy is saying, all right? Is that why you cut the hair? That's why I cut my hair.
Very impressive, Dad.
Good job.
I wanted to look softer.
Do I look softer a little? Yes? Okay, honey.
What? If you give yourself credit, then other people will start giving you credit, too.
All right? Okay.
And the point is, I think you could be a part of the process on this whole shoe thing.
Process, Dad? There is no process.
It's Adam's job.
And if he wanted my help, he could ask me for it.
How the hell is he going to know if you don't tell him? You've got to tell him you want to be involved.
Okay.
I'll try.
I don't know, Dad, I don't think he would love it.
Anyway, and I thank you for your advice, but I don't really need it.
I'm a grownup and I will take care of it and just I'm sorry I even brought it up.
Oh, hey, sweetheart.
No, I hear you.
I see you.
That gives me the creeps.
I'm going to stop at the stop sign.
What? Okay, just relax.
I'm stopping right here.
You're not listening to me at all.
I'm listening to you.
I'm stopped.
I'm the one with the driver's license.
You're not.
Now do your counting.
One cranberry, two cranberries Just like Lamaze.
Um, if somebody toots like that, don't get frazzled.
Toots? Okay, now, proceed.
Make a right.
I'm not frazzled.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Hold your pants.
I'm making a right.
I'm making a right.
Mom, can you stop? Stop! Haddie! Pull over! What? Hey, Dad.
Well, just Do not blame me, okay? Honey? Don't blame this all on me, okay? You have to take a little bit of responsibility.
You were the one behind the wheel.
If it was just me behind the wheel, I would have been calm.
- We had an accident.
- It's not a big thing.
What do you mean, you had an accident? Did anybody get hurt? We didn't have an accident.
Well, I'm a little hurt.
Mom.
We're lucky to be standing here right now, actually.
Do not make this into a thing.
It is a thing.
You're exaggerating.
I'm not exaggerating.
You're exaggerating to make it You don't listen to me.
I told you to listen.
Hey, hey, hey, what happened to my car? Dad.
Tell him.
Tell him what happened.
Go ahead.
You're gonna laugh.
You're gonna laugh.
I You're going to laugh hard.
I swiped the mirror.
That's it.
That's it, just the side mirror? That's it.
That's absolutely it.
What do you mean, that's it? I mean that's it.
That is reality.
The whole thing is Honey, it's just a mirror.
You should be the one to teach me.
Maybe I was right.
Thanks for bringing it up.
I hate the fact that you go behind my back and ask your dad to teach you.
I'm your driver's license coach.
Well, you're so crazy that you think you're a coach.
Don't ever call me crazy.
Don't call me crazy.
Let Dad be my coach.
I will never let you convince me to take her on the road ever again.
What? She's not ready.
What? Are you guys having an argument? No, no, no.
We're not having an argument.
Well, it sounds like you are.
We're not having an argument.
You're definitely having an argument.
We're not having an argument.
Just let me talk to your mother.
It sounds like you're having an argument.
We're not.
- I heard you.
- Tell Mom to count backwards from 30 - and to take deep breaths.
- Okay.
They're good coping mechanisms.
Hey, Miles, I think Haddie's still mad at Mom.
I'm going to kill you.
I think she wants to kill me.
Hey, Kristina.
What? I love you and I appreciate everything you do for our children.
Okay, spit it out.
What do you want to say? Is it possible that you're being a little irrational with Haddie? I'm being irrational? I'm being irrational? I didn't say you were.
Honey, she just crashed the car.
I know.
I'm just saying, this is a big step, okay? A huge step, okay? Our daughter is learning how to drive.
Absolutely.
It's symbolic.
And maybe it's not easy for you to I am not being irrational, Adam, okay? You weren't there.
I was.
Our daughter sucks at driving.
That's the problem, so butt out.
Okay.
Hi.
Oh.
Hey.
I thought you were Zeek.
What ya doing? Well, I just thought I'd, uh, sneak in and, uh, fix this leak without your father knowing because he doesn't know what he's doing.
And, uh, I thought I'd come in here before we fix it tomorrow.
Then what are you going to tell him? I'll just be like, "Wow, that seemed a lot worse yesterday, "but now here we are.
" Don't worry.
I got a whole plan.
It's going to be pretty awesome.
That's amazing that you just know how to fix that.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, it's what I did before I did, uh, play dates and juice boxes and all that.
Hmm.
What? What? Come on.
Come on.
I wonder if I could ask you to build me something.
Okay, yeah.
I wonder if you would build me a desk.
I'd love to.
Really? What kind of desk are we talking? What are you going to use it for? You know, I had this idea the other day, it was for a shoe for Adam's company.
If a kid lost their shoe, you'd click something and the shoe would beep and then they could find it.
I love that idea.
Really? Yeah.
I'd buy a dozen of those for Sydney.
So Yeah.
I just started thinking, you know, if I had a space to have more ideas, maybe I'd have more ideas.
Yeah.
I get ya.
Makes sense to me.
Yeah.
Hello.
Yeah, please come in and look over my shoulder, Max.
Don't knock.
Okay.
Are you still mad at Mom? I was being sarcastic.
Yeah, I am.
Can you help me get my sleepover set up? - Yeah.
- You know, because Gaby made me a "how to have a successful sleepover" list and one of the things is to make your guests feel at home so I'm going to put up a bunch of pictures of New York Oh, wowaround the top bunk where Jabbar is going to sleep.
Did you know that with over 6,400 cars Max? New York has the largest fleet of subway cars in the world? Max, would you leave and I'll talk to you about this later? Okay.
Can you just go? Give me a minute, all right? Okay.
Great, thank you.
One, two What are you doing? three.
You said "minute.
" Sixty seconds.
I don't care.
I'll just be there later, all right? Four, five, six, seven, eight.
Get out of my room.
Max, leave my room.
Are you an idiot? Leave the room! Hey.
Leave! Nine, 10, 11, 12, 13 - Can you see him? - Oh.
Hi, buddy.
He's awake.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I got my fix.
That's our boy.
Hey, so, I was thinking, um, Friday night, Jabbar will be at Max's for the sleepover.
Mmm-hmm.
And we'll be back here making the boat rock.
Don't come knocking.
And then, Saturday, you know, my mom's going to want to stuff him full of lasagna, so I was thinking Saturday night at my parents' house.
And then Sunday, we kind of have to go to Julia's because she's got this new weird thing where she thinks no one wants to go to her house, which is kind of true.
Crosby, sweetie, slow down.
What about my family? You're not an orphan, that's right.
Right.
Yeah, sorry.
I forgot.
You probably want to see them.
I really can't even think about all this right now.
What do you mean, you can't think about it right now? Well, I'm a little busy.
I've got Jabbar, I've got rehearsals.
Mmm-hmm.
You're pissed? You're pissed.
No, I'm not.
No.
It's okay if you are.
Say what's on your mind.
I love Jabbar.
And I love you.
And I miss you guys.
And I feel like I'm the only one that's putting any effort into this relationship.
I've been flying back and forth every other week, and now that you're finally coming, you can't even talk about it? I want to be with you, too.
I miss you.
Yeah, you sure? I do.
All right.
Hold on one second.
Take your time getting there, it's a good shot.
Shh, not so loud.
Sorry.
I just wanted to make sure that he was sleeping.
They must have made this Skype thing for something other than just talking.
Oh, my God.
Are we about to have Skype-sex? Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Because I've heard this could be very dangerous.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah.
Okay, go slower though.
Oh, my goodness.
Why don't you go lay down on the couch or the bed or whatever? Okay, yeah, I'm going to the bedroom.
Okay, dance a little slower, though, okay? So, are you ready? This is fantastic.
Wait, did you just stop moving or is it Oh, yeah.
No, no.
You're breaking Hold on.
I'm in a I think I'm in a dead zone.
I gotta go back to the Okay, Jasmine? Hold on.
Don't stop.
I need a stronger signal, but don't stop.
Come on.
Where's a Come on! Jasmine! Hey.
Hey.
Sorry, I should have called.
Is this a bad time? Nope.
Nope.
Come on in.
What's up? Hi.
Nothing.
Yeah, how are things at the house? What's going on with the roof? Joel's working on it and, um Good.
So, the, uh, shoe thing was an idea that I had.
Yeah, listen, hold on one second, Sarah.
Let's talk about this in one second.
Hey, it's just my sister.
It'll just be a minute.
Hey, listen, we got to wrap this up.
I gotta have a little meeting across the hall.
Right.
Okay.
It was my idea.
And I feel like you just kind of took it.
I Sarah, look, you know, you said that to me in an offhand way that morning.
Mmm-hmm.
It's not like we sat down and had an official pitch meeting.
Oh, I didn't know we had to have an official meeting.
Maybe we should take it to The People's Court, or, you know, call Judge Judy.
Sarah, let's not have a fight about this.
I didn't know we had to have a meeting.
Adam, I had an idea and I feel like if I don't start to value my ideas, I'm gonna disappear.
Let me be part of it.
God, Sarah, I've done like a million things for you over the years and I've never asked for more than a "thank you.
" Well, I'm asking for more.
No, no, wait, wait, wait.
Hex.
I use the flathead.
Yeah, I know you're using a flathead, but it's the wrong screw.
They're going to pop right through the shingle.
It's not the wrong screw.
Flatheads are fine.
You know, I can't I can't do this anymore.
Everything you're doing is wrong.
Do you understand that? And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's doing a job badly.
And you are doing this so badly.
It's even worse than you treating me like I don't know what I'm doing, when I'm a certified contractor, who got paid, believe it or not, a lot of money to do what you have no idea how to do.
Is that it? Not remotely.
Really? Yes.
Well, let me hear the rest of it, then.
I hate that you treat me like I'm my daughter's age.
I'm a grown-ass man, and if I didn't have a recession where I couldn't afford to pay my team, I'd be up here All right, all right, all right, all right.
Doing this job with several other more qualified people than yourself.
You've got some anger in there, huh? Well A little spirit.
I like that.
I don't think I've ever heard you say more than five words since I knew you.
Well No, really.
I hear you.
And I see you.
That's coming from my counseling sessions.
They're working, huh? It's pretty good.
You could benefit from it.
You've got some anger issues.
I got to tell you, I like it.
It's spunky.
Hello? Hey, it's me.
Hey.
You're going to hate me.
- I'm not going to hate you.
- I like you.
I'm counting down the hours.
I can't come out.
I hate you.
It's down to me and one other person for that understudy part on the European tour.
And I can't pass this up.
Gordon, you got a minute? Come on in.
It wasn't my idea, the shoe clicker.
My sister came up with it.
I don't know why I lied about it, but I did.
How could I put this? Um I don't give a rat's ass.
All right.
All right.
I'll take care of it.
All right? Sorry.
Listen, you know, you say that your family's not a distraction, but every time I turn around, we've got another crisis on our hands.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
If you're just going to phone it in then Hey, Gordon, nobody's phoning it in.
You know what I'm talking about.
I need you here, Adam, focused.
You are an essential part of this company, okay? And we're in trouble.
All right.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
What? What? No, no.
This goes here, because Uncle Crosby! Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
We're getting ready.
I see that.
Look at all this.
It's going to be so awesome.
Check it out.
Jabbar's favorite, orange soda.
And He loves that.
And SunChips.
My Mom said it's okay for me to have food in my room just this one time.
Good job.
So, eat it now, because this is going to probably be your last chance to ever eat food in my room.
Okay, maybe later, though.
Okay.
Um, is everyone Everyone's out.
Everyone's out? Why? Um, Max.
Yeah? You did a really good job planning for this sleepover.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I love it.
I love it.
Hey, buddy, I have some bad news.
Um, there's been a change in plan and, uh, Jabbar can't come.
Yeah, yes, he can.
He's flying tomorrow.
Flight 932, arriving Oakland International Airport 5:45 p.
m.
Okay, but he changed plans and now he No, he has a ticket.
Yeah, but there was a change in plan.
No.
Max, I'm sure he can come back again soon.
Right? No way.
Right? Yeah, hopefully, but you know, who knows at this point? What? No, this is unacceptable! No! This sucks! No! Max, Max, buddy, buddy.
I'm in the same boat as you.
No! No! No! Whoa, hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, Max.
Max.
Max, Max, Max! What happened? Max, Max! Calm down.
Max.
Max.
Take a deep breath.
Remember? We take a deep breath.
Remember? Okay, listen.
I know you're upset.
You have every right to be.
Okay? It's not fair.
No! Max, I know you're upset.
I'm upset, too, okay? I am, and it's not fair.
I know.
All right, Max, look at me.
But it's not going to help to kick and scream and yell, Max.
Look at me.
All right, so we're going to have to try and calm down and come up with another plan.
All right, calm down, and come up with a Plan B, okay? - Max - Deep breath.
Max, um, I'm gonna go watch some TV.
Do you want some extra screen time? Uh, no TV, actually, maybe just a glass of water.
I'll be right there.
Yeah.
You okay? Wow.
Um, yeah, I've never seen that side of him.
Yeah, he's going to learn not to do that.
It just takes a while.
Good job, though.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Wow, I'm back in the game.
That's amazing, Dad.
Thank you.
Yeah, well, you know, Joel contributed.
Hey.
Your father loves me.
How does that feel? I'm not sure yet.
I'm going back out there.
I read 10 books on sex ed.
Oh.
I think I have a little bit of a better handle on how to explain a penis to a six-year-old girl.
I don't know if you can explain something Can we just give her five or six years to shake off the damage we've done and then start fresh? No, babe, I'm the mom.
She's a girl.
You have to let me make this decision on this one.
Yeah, yeah, and if we had a boy, you'd let me handle it? What? When you said, "If we had a boy ," I pictured us having a boy.
Oh.
And I want her to have a brother or a sister.
Okay.
We can't wait forever on this, you know? We always said you could build a bedroom above the garage, so that is perfect.
Just hold on a second.
When are you "When," yes, that is key.
That is absolutely key.
I can't believe we're having this conversation.
Neither can I.
Oh.
Hey.
Hey.
What ya doing? I'm sorry.
I will pay for it.
Okay.
So, I'm going to pay for it, then? I guess so.
You just offered to pay for it.
I don't know.
I feel stupid about it.
Just I don't have money.
I don't have money to pay for it.
Haddie, it's fine.
I am sorry for this and for being rude to you and treating you really badly and I don't know, I just But, I do have to say to you, and I don't mean this as an insult, but I feel like you were being a little bit irrational.
I was? I'm not upset.
Yeah.
A little bit.
You know? A little out of the ordinary.
It's about catastrophization.
Okay? Catastrophization.
It's not a word.
It's not a real word, but it's one that your dad made up for me because I sometimes catastrophize things.
You know, I look into the future and I see the worst.
You driving this car, and you getting in a horrible, awful car accident, and me having to go down to the scene and seeing your body and smell the carnage and What? MomI can see the people and just swarming around.
Stop.
Stop.
And I just make my brain I just I know.
I'm sorry.
It's not going to happen.
I know.
I just love you way too much.
And I don't know what I would do.
Okay.
And I think about Max, and who's going to take care of him when we're not around.
Mom, I will.
Honey, I would never do that to you.
I would never put that burden on you to take care of your brother.
I just I wouldn't.
It's not a burden.
I love Max.
He's my brother.
You know that.
I can't believe I'm eating snacks and drinking soda in my bed.
Hey, I wonder if the top bunk caved in on me, if I'd die.
I don't think it would cave in.
But if it did, I'd probably die, right? Uh, maybe.
Sleepovers rock.
They do.
Are you having fun? Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun, Max.
We should do this every night.
Um, it would be pretty amazing.
Good night, Haddie.
Good night, Max.
Hi.
I didn't even hear you pull up.
I just was inside.
I said hi to Mom and Dad.
How's it going? Oh, good, fine.
Yeah? Yeah.
Listen, I'm really sorry for co-opting your idea, and I'd like to offer you a job.
What? You said you wanted more.
Really? Yeah.
Yeah.
It'd be an internship.
It'd be in the design department, but that would be good for you.
And it'd be some money, not a lot.
But it would be a start.
That would be great.
All right.
Great.
All right, so, we'II, uh, work out some details tomorrow, okay? Okay.
I just got to get home.
Adam.
Yeah? Thank you.
Thank you.