Porn and Ice Cream (2022) s02e01 Episode Script

1
ON THE PREVIOUS SEASON OF
-Porn.
-Ice cream.
Pretend you're my friends.
-Pablo?
-What's up, otaku?
I'm in a band now.
Well, they're my band.
I didn't know you played.
I'm their manager.
I got you your first gig.
But we can't play.
You like your lives?
Mooching off your parents
and working at Construcasa?
-No.
-Yeah.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
My boss is a very important senator.
His daughter is turning 15.
I need a band for the party.
Cross-dressing is my life
It's hard to repress it
I've decided to abandon
my presidential campaign.
-We're the Feeble-Minded.
-Three, four.
Thanks to your silly song,
Vieira stepped down from his candidacy
and I had to go back
to working for my dad.
So now I'll make it my life goal
Fuck! To make sure the Feeble-Minded
never play again.
PORN AND ICE CREAM
Was I wearing this suit?
Pablo, why are you on drums?
Were you wearing that hat?
-There's fewer people.
-You're right.
The budget is smaller for this season.
Season?
Okay, where were we?
You were gonna make sure
the Feeble-Minded
Right. Never play again!
No, stop! I'll have my revenge!
I'll have my revenge!
-All right, play.
-Come on, dude, play!
One, two, three, four!
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Do you wanna play next Friday?
There's a spot left.
Maybe.
But we won't play for the same rate.
I'm open to offers.
-The same rate.
-Deal.
That show was great!
It was amazing.
I don't give a shit.
I killed it, dude.
I mean, it was amazing.
Yeah, it was nice.
You guys did good, too,
but I feel like people
really formed a connection with me.
I feel like I'm ready
for a Normapalusa or something.
-Pablo?
-Yeah?
Sorry to bother you,
but I wanted to say that you killed it.
-See?
-Just that, I won't bother you anymore.
Wait, do you want a selfie?
Yeah. Maybe.
I saw you wanted one and didn't dare ask.
-Yeah.
-Come on.
Yeah.
Can I see it?
No, wait.
-There we go.
-All right, thanks, Pablo.
-What's your name?
-Diego, but they call me Dieguito.
I mean, on Instagram.
So I can look up the post.
Dieguitociclon2003.
-Cool.
-All right, thanks.
-See ya.
-See ya.
Dieguito!
Wanna go get a drink with us?
All right.
Guys, this is Dieguito.
He's a fan of mine.
He'll drink with us.
-Spot me a whisky, Grace, come on.
-Fuck off.
My creative process is chaotic, see?
Inspiration strikes out of nowhere.
I might be taking a bath
and then have to run out naked
to get my guitar
because I just thought of a melody.
That's gross, Pablo.
It's been known to happen.
"It's been known to happen"?
Why do you talk like that?
I've always spoken like this.
Wanna hear the story
of how we wrote Porn and Ice Cream?
It's really good.
Sure, but let me go get a beer first.
-Okay, bring two.
-Right.
Did you have to bring the kid, Pablo?
Oh, you're so obvious.
You're jealous that I've got a fan?
Relax, you'll get some soon.
Well, maybe not you Ceci.
Who'd be a manager's fan?
Sorry, I didn't mean to crash your party.
But I've always wanted a group.
-A band?
-No, a group of friends.
Guys, your pizza.
-We didn't order this, Graciela.
-No, I did.
It's my treat.
Are you gonna eat that?
Pablo? There's a kid looking for you.
Right, my fan. Let him in.
-Come in.
-Excuse me.
I'll go back to the kitchen,
I'm under house arrest.
I can't go in here.
Yeah. See you later.
Nice room.
Yeah, this is my temple.
My folks gave me
the biggest room in the house.
Hey, why is your mom under house arrest?
Curiosity killed the dog.
I think you meant
"curiosity killed the cat."
You'd think so, but no.
May I?
-Be careful with her.
-Yeah.
No, this is how you do a D.
There.
I'm not good at this.
Chill, don't beat yourself up.
I was in your shoes once.
It's all about practice.
I struggle with the diminished D
with B as bass note.
Yeah, that's tougher.
-I'm almost ready.
-Okay.
That's a Rolinga kerchief, right?
This one? It's a classic.
It's great.
Come here.
Let's see, this one.
I've got high hopes for you.
I wore that kerchief when I went out
to see some bands in Flores,
and I met Micaela,
and we spent the whole night talking.
Did anything happen after?
No, she said on chat
that she thought I was cute,
but she'd just met a guy
and they were kinda going out.
-That sucks.
-But it's a lucky kerchief.
I hope so.
-Shall we?
-Yeah.
Security cameras from China, Thailand
From all over the world?
-I can watch them?
-Yeah.
Take your time, why don't you?
Dieguito took a while to pick me up.
No, I was there on time.
Rule number four, never snitch.
What are the other three?
I'll tell you later.
Let's get going,
the last bus to Zárate goes at 7:00.
Wanna start with Porn and Ice Cream?
I wanted to show you a song
I wrote based on a dream I had.
Ceci and I were kissing on a beach,
and she said,
"You're a great kisser, Pablo."
-You're such a drag.
-No, wait.
You turned into a poodle
and your legs just kept growing
-Sorry!
-What happened?
I wanted to close the case.
-Pablo.
-Pablo, are you okay?
-Does it hurt?
-It hurts a lot.
-Here.
-No, thanks. I'm not hungry.
They're frozen. It's for your hand, Pablo.
What do we do? Call it off?
No way. We paid for the room.
We have to rehearse.
Ceci, there's no point
without a guitar player.
It's true, I'm the soul of the band.
-Can you play the guitar for today?
-I'm a bassist!
We have to make use of the time.
Pick up your instruments
and let's try to
Dieguito, do you play?
-A little.
-He's not great.
I mean, I can make do.
Perfect, we've got Pablo's stand-in.
We can salvage the day.
Need the chords for Porn and Ice Cream?
No, I know them.
C, E minor, D minor, G.
-Right.
-He's really good.
One, two, three, four!
Can't you tell
That you're a failure?
You look in the mirror
You're losing your hairline
If you feel left out
-Pablo.
-What do you want?
Can you give me Dieguito's number?
So he can replace me
and watch porn and eat ice cream with you?
No.
Because he wanted the price
of a toilet seat in Construcasa.
All right.
My cell phone's gone.
You got pick-pocketed.
Maybe it's in the rehearsal room.
Only city folk get their phones stolen.
Back in Zárate, we chain it to our waist.
The bill, guys.
Thanks. How much is it?
No way, it's my treat.
You saved our rehearsal.
Thanks. What a surprise.
Why is that?
Because Pablo told me
you were a bit stingy.
"Stingy"?
A cheapskate, tightwad,
skinflint, miser, penny-pincher
Okay, I got it.
But he was wrong. Thanks.
Thank you.
I think Dieguito deserves some applause.
He killed it today.
Please, guys. Come on.
Excuse me.
-Dieguito.
-Ramón.
I didn't know you worked in this branch.
What a coincidence! Out of 27 branches
of Construcasa, you ended up at mine.
What are you up to?
I'm here to return
the seat you recommended.
But I don't think they'll let me.
A bit broke off
while I was trying to install it.
Let's see Relax, I'll exchange it.
Are you sure?
I mean, it's a little broken.
It's all right, no one will notice.
I'll exchange it.
Thanks, Ramón.
You're actually super chill.
What do you mean?
Pablo always says
that he's the creative, more open-minded,
and you're more of a square.
Pablo says I'm a square?
No, sorry, he meant well.
I'm an idiot, me and my big mouth.
I'm sorry.
Here, Dieguito,
I'll meet you at the register.
All right.
Pablo, what's up?
Looking for my cell phone.
Why are you here?
Ceci wanted me to tell you that
today's rehearsal was moved to tomorrow.
She said she texted you
but you didn't reply.
-She didn't call the landline?
-She said it was too expensive.
-What a cheapskate.
-Totally.
How's your hand?
Great.
I feel so guilty.
You should.
Pablo, do you have a problem with me?
No, it's all fine.
Because you seem off.
Not at all. I mean,
you said weren't great at guitar and
No, I just have a problem with D major.
Okay, we're fine.
Pablo, I don't want
any bad vibes between us.
I look up to you,
and you taught me a lot
in just a short time.
Yeah, I know.
All right, I'll be off.
Okay.
-Dieguito.
-Yeah?
If you want,
you can come to tomorrow's rehearsal.
Thanks, Pablo.
-Can you send Ramón a message?
-Yeah.
What should I say?
"What's up, dude? It's Pablo.
"I'll drop by tonight.
"I'll bring the ice cream,
you supply the you-know-what."
Wink emoji.
Eggplant emoji.
And droplets emoji.
Add that.
Sent.
-Thanks.
-See ya, Pablo.
Droplets
Pablo!
-Joaquín.
-Come here.
I can hear you from here.
Are you looking for Ramón?
Yeah, we were gonna meet.
Your friend left earlier.
That's weird.
Thanks, Joaquín.
-Want me to tell you where he went?
-Of course.
Come closer and I will.
No, we can talk from here.
He went to rehearsal
with some kid that picked him up.
-Dieguito.
-Yeah, that's right. Great kid.
I knew it!
-What's up, Pablo?
-Sorry.
I knew it!
Pablo, you can't show up
whenever you want.
He's stealing my identity.
Who'd want your identity, Pablo?
Yeah.
He said rehearsal was canceled
so he could take my place.
I don't know what he means.
Don't blame him
because you forgot to show up.
And you said you couldn't play,
but you play better than I do.
-Yeah
-Yeah
I'm sure you stole my phone.
I think he's going crazy.
-Give me back my kerchief.
-No, stop
Pablo, you're choking him!
-No!
-You're choking him!
-Get out. Stop!
-Pablo.
We're wasting rehearsal time,
and I can't allow that since I'm so cheap.
Yeah, I know that.
-But he's
-Just go, Pablo.
Ramón, you're my friend.
You gotta believe me.
Maybe I'm too square to be your friend.
You are a square,
but why does that matter?
Dieguito was right.
You think I'm a square.
No, I never said that.
Out loud.
Pablo, we want you to leave.
We gotta rehearse, tomorrow's the show.
Dieguito will take your spot.
You're kicking me out of the band?
Okay.
Good luck with Dieguito.
I'm sorry, I don't want you guys
to fight because of me.
It's all right.
Don't worry, Dieguito.
I love you guys.
We love you, too, Dieguito.
There once was this kid
He was short, swell
He seemed like a nice guy
Dieguito was his name
He pretended to be my friend
Said "Congratulations, my man"
But he slowly snuck around
And stabbed me in the back
He's a small devil
Looks like a younger Danny DeVito
But with more hair
And a bit more slim
So the comparison isn't fair
They're both just short
I hate him!
Great.
All right, we're the Feeble-Minded.
This is Porn and Ice Cream.
No. No!
That kid is an impostor!
His hand is rotting!
No, that's just the pus draining.
Pablo, go home.
No, I'm bored at home.
I want to play with the band,
I'm a Feeble Mind.
Clearly.
If you replace me with Dieguito,
I'll make it my life goal to make sure
You copycat.
that the Feeble-Minded
No, stop! Sandro! No.
-No, stop! Stop! No.
-Okay
Stop, no.
Awkward moment.
He's on the way to the loony bin,
so the show can go on.
That was in poor taste.
I wasn't listening.
No.
Sandro, it's me, Pablo.
Yeah, I know. You're crazy.
Dieguito told me you'd do this.
But that kid is evil!
No, he's wonderful.
Instead of playing Porn and Ice Cream,
we'll play something else.
It's called
Decadent Rolinga.
Take care of the present
People don't pay attention anymore
You're a decadent Rolinga
Your 15 minutes are over
You think you're so smart
Open up!
Forget about it, there's no way in.
When did they start being so punctual?
There's no toilets in the bathrooms,
but they're sticklers for schedules.
Were you also left out?
Yeah, something like that.
My friends are inside.
Mine too. Former friends.
Why former? What happened?
It's a long story. I mean
In 2004, I met Ramón
while he was working at Construcasa.
-One day, I
-Hold on, there's a place nearby.
We could get a hot dog and talk.
You want me to go with you?
Yeah, we can have a drink.
-I mean, if you want to.
-No, I do. For sure.
Yeah, I'm hungry. I'll have a hot dog.
-Totally.
-Cool, let's go.
Let's go.
Rolinga
Thank you!
Plus they buy all his stories,
they're so gullible.
-Thanks.
-People are crazy, dude.
I went through that a few years back.
-For real?
-Yeah.
Some friends let me down,
and I went to live in the country.
I live in a community.
I met some really cool people
that love and value me for who I am,
they trust me.
I wish I had something like that.
And I'm not really a fan of nature.
I'm more of a city girl,
but it helped me unwind.
It's beautiful.
I visited a farm on a school trip once.
It was really nice. We milked a cow.
The milk was kinda gross, though.
And the cow kicked a classmate.
-Do you wanna come?
-Where?
To the farm. My friends would love you.
Text me the address,
and if the Uber isn't too expensive
What Uber, man?
It's a few hours from here,
I've got my truck.
Do you have anything better to do?
I killed it, dude.
Hey, it's not okay
to just play whatever you want.
Relax, Silvu, don't get anxious.
You gotta improvise in life, right?
Dieguito, she's right,
what you did was wrong.
That's the owner of Manu Music?
Yes, Bermúdez.
Hi, Bermúdez.
What I'm about to say is weird, but
I think I miss Pablo.
What's wrong?
-Pablo had his phone stolen, Ramón.
-I know.