Pulling (2006) s02e01 Episode Script

Oh, come on Dianne! It's just one drink, three at the most.
I mean, Christ, what's the matter with you.
you're young aren't you? Look Dianne, the thing about comas is, well, he's not gonna notice if you just pop out is he? That's what a coma is.
Alright, no I'm not pissed off just just let down.
Me? No.
I'm fine.
I'm great.
I'm brilliant.
Yes, since I split up with Karl, yeah God, yeah, I'm having a great time.
Yeah and we've, we've moved on as well.
So that's uh, huh, actually I think we've really, what? Oh shit, yeah.
Well, you better go if they're all looking at you.
Yeah, bye.
(PHONE BEEPS) - Hello Karl.
- Oh, hello Tanya.
(KISS) What are you doing here? You here with Donna, are you? No, with a couple of mates from work.
God, you look well.
I see you're doing quite well over there? Ah, well you know.
Are you kidding? She's like a rash on you.
So you're over Donna then? Yeah.
We're just good mates now.
It's nice.
Ahh, that's great.
So you're not going to try and kill yourself anymore? No, ah don't think I'll be doing that.
Ahhh, I'm happy for you Karl.
Cos if anyone deserves not to die by their own hand, it's you.
Thanks Tanya.
I think.
See ya later, yeah? Mmm.
Oh, don't get too pissed now.
(TV PLAYS) Hi, is that Mr.
Pizza? How's Mrs.
Pizza? What? Yeah, no it was just well, yeah I know it's not your real name.
I was just making a no, I'm not making no, I do notwhy would I think it's a shit job, I just 12 inch capricosa please.
Yeah.
Thanks, bye.
So maybe we should turn our attention to the topic of global warming and the fact that ten out of the last fourteen years Louise, I like to say thank you for the beautiful gift.
I am very happy with my Soda Stream.
Well, we just know how much you liked fizzy drinks.
I will miss you, Louise.
A lot.
And if you ever in Lithuania maybe you visit? I'm never going to be in Lithuania.
Ah.
Is a shame.
Oh, I go.
Louise, I always regret not making love with you when I had the chance and I just want you to know that every time I, uh, well, it is your face that I see.
WOMAN: Karl? (DOOR KNOCK) Your friends have gone.
They wanna close up.
Karl? (DOOR KNOCKING) You asleep? Oh my God, Louise.
I can't believe.
Is best day of my life.
Ah, I really fancy you, Tanya.
Come on Karl, you're really drunk.
I'm gonna fug yer brains in.
Karl.
That's not very nice is it? Don' y'wan me to fug yer brains in? D'youd'you d'you like collegtin post more or delibering? Yeah, I home, going home, I Night.
Billy? Karn? Wha? Bloody ell, you (SPIT) I know somewhere's open roun the corner.
For god's sake Karl, I've been out there for ten minutes.
It's 8:30 Donna.
Yeah, I know.
Practically nowhere was open.
What's the matter with this country? I got us some pitta bread.
Jesus Christ Karl, what is all this food lying is that yoghurt? Yeah, I think it is.
Karl, you're not having another breakdown again are you? No, no, I'm fine.
Karl, did you take your clothes off in here? Oh my god.
- No, yeah, I did but-- - Karl, I just don't know if I can go through all that again, I mean Karl, have you been masturbating into a condom? Donna, I've got someone here.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, right.
Have you been doing it in the kitchen? I suppose so.
You're going to have to throw that bread board away, you know? You didn't tell me you were out last night.
- Well, it was Jamie's birthday, so - First I've heard of it.
- Are you alright with this, Donna? - What? Yeah, no.
I'm fine.
It's just I was just in on my own last night.
So you've been having kitchen sex? Yeah.
God.
Sad.
- Look Donna, she's still here, so - Yeah, well, I was just going to clear this mess up.
- Will you please go? Ok, fine, I'll go.
I'm taking the fucking pitta bread.
Kitchen sex isn't cool, Karl.
OK? Not these days.
Just so you know.
(SNORE) Shit! Billy! Billy, come on.
We gotta get out.
Billy, Billywhere's your trousers? With my pants.
Come on Billy.
Billy, we gotta go.
It's quarter to nine.
They're gonna be here in ten, the kids are gonna be here in ten minutes.
It's Saturday.
- What? - It's Saturday.
Is it? It's Saturday.
It is Saturday.
(DOOR OPENING) (FOOTSTEPS) (CHILDREN PLAY) Sports day! You were at a party as well? So was Karl.
Everyone had a laugh except for me.
He fell asleep! Yeah, but that's a story.
You got a story out of that.
I'm not gonna tell anybody a man fell asleep while I was trying to pleasure him.
You will once the shame's worn off.
It'll be your favourite anecdote.
What can I tell people? (FOOTSTEPS) Oh my god, look at you.
You've had a great time as well haven't you? Donna, I have just spent two hours explaining to the police and fifteen terrified mums why I happened to be in an empty school with a half naked man.
You did, didn't you? You've had a great time.
That's brilliant.
I wish I nearly lost my job! I wish I had a man fall asleep in my mouth! I feel terrible.
Give me some advice.
Go to the Marquis, suck off a stranger.
Donna, give me some advice.
Well I just think when you get thrown off a pony, there's no point trying to get on another less bucky pony, you've gotta stick with the pony you've already saddled.
Get back on Oleg.
It's the only way you'll get your confidence back.
So how come you ended up in the school again? They shouldn't give me the fucking keys, should they? - Who were you with? - Oh, I just bumped into an old friend, so.
Oh, who was it? Well, alright, look, - just don't get all.
.
- Who was it? Yeah, all I'm saying is don't start - because I've got a-- - Who? Billy.
Are you insane? He tried to kill you.
Don't make out like that's a negative.
He was on ketamine.
Don't let him back into your life, Karen.
I am not letting him back into my life.
I mean he's a nice guy but he's a mess.
- Don't let him back into your life.
- I am not letting him back into my life! I met him, we had a few drinks, a couple of lines, split an E, a small bottle of Bacardi and a bit of crack, and that is all it was.
Alright? I know what he's like, there's no way I'm letting him back in.
Oh, Tanya, you really didn't have to do that.
You've been at it for about two hours now, so, I think, - y'know.
- Oh.
Right.
OK.
Look Tanya.
I just, um, well, I just wanted to say, er, cheers.
'Cheers'? No, no, I mean, thank you.
I don't mean for, sorry I, well it's just, you've done a nice job on the kitchen, y'know it hasn't been that clean inthumbs up, you'd make someone a great - cleaner, and-- - Are you embarrassed Karl? No! No, no God, no.
I'm fine.
It was fine.
I was fine.
It was fine.
- Did you just look at my breasts? - I didn't.
It's alright Karl.
You were looking at them last night.
Yeah.
- You had them in your hands.
- Yep.
- You were sucking on them.
- Yep.
At one point you had a little cry into them, didn't you? - Yeah.
- Yes.
- You don't have to be embarrassed Karl.
- I'm not.
Look Tanya, can you, I mean can you not say anything about this It's just a bit awkward because of, um, Donna, I don't want her to feel Don't be stupid Karl.
Donna's my best friend.
I tell her everything.
Come on, Karen.
I'm having a quiet night in.
I'm fucked.
What about Louise? She's busy.
She's trying to blow-off Oleg before he goes to Lithuania.
I've tried everyone, everyone I know Sarah, Dianne Sarah and Dianne.
Come on! God, I just want to have a laugh.
All right.
I'll drink with you here but that's it.
It's not about the drinking Karen.
It's about the laugh.
The danger.
I wanna have stories to tell when I'm older.
I want a scar.
Not a bad one or anything.
Maybe one on my arm, or just above my ankle.
(DOORBELL) Just do what I do drink half a bottle of vodka and then you find you are out and then you don't have to worry about the bit in between.
(DOOR OPENING) How do you know where I live? I think I stole your purse last night? What do you want Billy? I thought you'd be feeling like a bit of a quiet one after last night so I brought round some porn and a bottle of Champagne.
- Where's the champagne? - Err.
I'm not doing this.
Last time we were together I stabbed you.
Just in the leg.
Karen, I've changed.
Alright I haven't changed but I'm no worse.
I've missed you.
We can't do this.
Come on, Kal.
We won't go mad.
Let's just go for a coffee.
I think I've got some wiz, we could put that in it.
Alright, OK.
(DOOR SLAM) (DOOR OPENS) (FOOTSTEPS) Where's Oleg? I thought he was coming in today? I need to see him! - What for? - I got him some extra cola syrup for his soda stream.
What, that soda stream? Do you know where he is? Well, he said he felt unclean or something, so he was going home to take a shower before getting the boat.
- Shit! - Louise, he doesn't need that now.
No, he does, he does, Richard.
You can mix it with water, you don't need the bubbles, it still makes a tasty drink.
It's just I split up with you because it was boring and what was the point in going through all the hassle if things are still boring? - Do you know what I mean? - Yeah.
Oh, don't look at me like that, Karl.
I didn't mean boring in a bad way like Natasha Kaplinksy, I just meant well, everyone seems to be doing exciting things except for me.
I mean look at you, alright, it was kitchen, but eighties but at least it was something.
She did a nice job on it by the way.
You, you seeing her again? No.
No way.
Why? What's wrong with her? Don't really want to talk about it.
Well, y'know well it's weird talking to you about that kinda thing.
I haven't got a problem with it.
We're just a coupla mates.
C'mon, give me all the gory details? What was she wearing? Did she have cellulite? Well tell me her name, then, at least tell me her name.
Did she have a name? No.
Why wouldn't you tell me her name? it's not like I'm gonna know her orOh, it's Tanya.
What's she doing calling me on your phone? Tanya? What? Yeah, it's Donnawhat's up? What? Oh, OK.
She wants to talk to you? Me! What? Ha! What has she? Silly, mad bitch! Hello Tanya! Surprised to hear, y'know, talking to me when Donna's answered the you must have our phone numbers, both our, on the tonight? Hang on I'll ask her yeahno, yeah, I'll just you mean Donna yeah, no, you do, you meanI'll ask her I'll just ask herI'll just ask her I'll just Donna, Tanya, it's Tanya, your mate Tanya, erm she wants to go out What, with you? No! no, no, why would she? Then why's she calling you? - With us, you mean? - Us, us, yeah.
- Absolutely.
With us, yes.
- Oh great, well Let's go.
It'll be great.
Oh, that's brilliant.
Yeah! Yes! Brilliant.
(DOORBELL) (DOOR OPENS) - Billy! - Hello Karn.
What are you doing here? Well I though' you be feeling li' a bivva quiet one so I brought round some porn ana bol a chamban.
Billy, we've done this before! - Did we? - Yes! Oh, shit.
I'm sorry, shit Kar'n.
Kar'n.
Kar'n.
Kar'n.
I've, I've onlykar'n, they've given me six months left to live.
Billy, they're always giving you six months left to live.
You've been getting six months left to live for the last five years.
Well, can I use your toilet then? No! We are not starting again and there is no way you are coming in, OK? Hey Billy! How are you? What are you doing tonight? Hey, why don't you come out with me? Gonna have a big one with Karl and Tanya, let's go for it.
I mean it's Saturday night, may as well enjoy ourselves.
We're leaving in about an hour so get your skates on.
- Have you got trousers, Billy? - Yeah.
You did say Manhattan's? Manhattan's? Yeah, yes.
You were the one who said don't let him back into your life.
Yeah, but I didn't say anything about letting him back into mine.
Karen, I want experiences! I want to live.
If and when I ever write about my life I want things to go in it.
Billy's good at experiences.
Billy is good at alcohol induced seizures.
That is not the same thing.
Are you OK, Karl? You're really on edge.
I'm not on edge.
Look, I know what this is about.
And don't be silly.
You know I won't say there isn't a little twinge of jealousy but actually I'm really pleased for you.
Honestly, I think it's great that you slept withTanya! Where've you been? New York, New York's waiting for you.
Like I was told to.
But, we said Manhattan's.
Yeah, no, I said, ManNew.
.
you look, you look, you look Have you told her? Yeah.
What are you having? Gin and tonic? Pint Stella for you Tanya? - Told me what? - Yeah.
Karl? I love this one! Come on! I'm going for a dance.
C'mon, let's have some, you know, fun and I slept with Karl last night.
I just want you to know, because, wellI'm not gonna lie to you.
Youand oh, that is rank.
Look, Donna, it wasn't planned or anything.
It was just one of those things, we were just both at this club last night and, well Donna? Soyou were out last night as well? - Donna, did you hear what I just said? - Yes, God, I mean, everyone went out except for me? I mean Donna, are you OK with this? What? Yeah.
Yeah, I'mhang on.
Everyone went out except for me? (THUD) Oleg? Oleg? He's gone.
Where? Where he gone, please? Oh Christ.
Boat? Hecatchboat.
look, I need to see him.
IneedtoseeOleg.
Right, they've packed him into an ambulance, so tell Donna I've gone with him.
That's my night shat on.
God.
It's terrible, though.
Well, I got a take out from the bar, so I'll just neck that.
I meant Billy.
What's Billy got to complain about? He's had a skinful, a stomach pump and a free ride home.
That's a great night in his books.
You really are heartless, aren't you? All I will say to you, Tanya, is people who live in glass houses shouldn't take their best-mate's ex-boyfriend's cock inside them, in a pile of yoghurt.
OK? Don't worry, Karl, I'm not gonna stalk you.
I don't want to meet your mother, I'm not gonna plaster pictures of your face all over my wall.
I was drunk as well.
It's not that, Tanya.
It's just why'd you have to tell Donna? Because I am not a liar, Karl.
God, you're such a baby.
Grow up, she doesn't care.
Look at her, she's fine with it, she's having a great time.
Karl, Tanya, this is Ronnie.
Show them your electronic tag, Ronnie.
It's brilliant, isn't it? Oh, this is gonna be such a great night.
(FOOTSTEPS) Oleg? (BANG) (FOOTSTEPS) Oleg! Louise? Louise! Excuse, excuse me please.
Oleg.
I thought I was going to miss you, right, good.
This is gonna sound a bit weird, but Louise, my Louise, my beautiful Louise! I can't believe you came, is fantastic! Is like a dream, beautiful.
- Er, Oleg-- - Like you, you're beautiful.
All these months, I wish, I pray you say don't go, don't go Oleg'.
Oh no, I'm not trying to stop you - from - But I never dream in my wildest dream that his could come true for me.
Right, actually Oleg, look, the thing is I thought you might have - time before.
.
- Oh Jesus Christ Louise, I love you so fucking much! (ENGINE IGNITES) Isis that your bus? - I think it's about to - I don't care about the bus.
- Yeah but you'll miss your boat, and - Fuck boat! Fuck boat! Fuck boat! Right.
I think there's something I should make a bit clearer Why are you avoiding me? I'm not avoiding you.
I'm just a bit nervous 'cause of that psycho with Donna.
What, Ronnie? He's lovely.
He keeps talking about his mum.
I'm really worried.
She's trollied.
I haven't seen her like that in ages.
That's a nice top.
I like the two zips.
- What? - Oh, grow up! Ohshit.
Alright, that'sthat's enough.
Please.
Of that.
I mean, alright fair enough, Ronnie, I'm not, you know, having anot at you, personally, all right, fair enough, we've all had a laugh, we've all had a drink, we've all had a laugh, but I think now it's time to, well y'know Actually though Ronnie.
- Thanks for your help, Tanya - Oh, don't worry.
It's fine.
It's all in the thumbs.
They just collapse, he'll be fine by the morning.
Right, well, I'd better goget her back.
- I'll see ya Tanya.
- Oh yeah, see you around.
- What are you doing.
- I'm just giving you a friendly kiss goodbye, is that OK? Is that a crime? Sorry Tanya.
I'm so sorry, it's just been a weird night.
Yes, well, please, let's not make it any weirder.
Sorry.
You really need to take a long hard look at yourself, Karl.
(FOOTSTEPS) What do you think you're doing? Well I thought I mightmaybe a coffee? You want to inject it or snort it, Billy? - Actually you can inject, but-- - Billy, look.
I care about you.
I do.
But I want to live.
We won't last the month.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
Alright Kal.
That's fair enough.
I don't want to cause you trouble.
- Sorry.
- Yeah, yeah.
D'you think I could just stay the night, though? - Billy - Not, not to do anything.
thought maybemaybe I could like, if I promise not to drink anything, not to take anything and be good, I thought maybe I could just stay in your room.
I just want towatch you sleep.
I've missed that.
The smell of you.
It fills me, you know, makes me calm.
(CAR ENGINE) You should see the other guy's fist.
(SIGHS) - Are you going? - No.
No, don't worry.
I'm gonna stay.
I'll stay in the chair over there.
Thank you.
- Karl? - Yeah! (THUD) Fuck! Don't ever sleep with my friends again, OK?