Quantum Leap s02e01 Episode Script

Honeymoon Express - April 26, 1960

Admiral, are you trying to tell this committee that God has taken control of Project Quantum Leap? That is the conclusion that Dr.
Beckett and I reached after exhausting every other possible scientific explanation.
Is that "God" with an upper or lowercase "G"? I mean, is G-O-D a military acronym I'm not familiar with? No, Senator.
I'm referring to him.
- Or her.
- I hope you're right, Senator.
And that God with a capital "G," male or female, interfered with Dr.
Beckett's attempt to travel within his own lifetime and is using him to, uh, "put things right that once went wrong.
" Yes, sir.
And you list some examples.
Saving the life of a test pilot and his unborn child.
Helping Sisters of Charity build a chapel.
Being instrumental in the integration of a small town.
All commendable, but not exactly earth-shattering changes.
They were earth-shattering to those that he affected.
Admiral, I believe the point is that Dr.
Beckett hasn't significantly impacted on the domestic and global conflicts of the recent past.
I mean, for $43 billion, he could at least have altered the results of the last presidential election.
Quantum leaping has left Dr.
Beckett suffering from partial amnesia.
He's unable to recall many significant events ofhis lifetime.
And even ifhe were, he seems only able to impact people and events that he wants changed.
You expect us to believe that God leapt Dr.
Beckett back into '56 just to help Buddy Holly with the lyrics to "Peggy Sue"? He works in mysterious ways.
Evidently, so does this project.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Admiral, but do I understand that you are the only person who has had physical contact with Dr.
Beckett since he supposedly leaped back in time? Physical contact, no.
We appear to each other as holograms.
I can see and hear him, and he can see and hear me, but we can't interact physically.
And no one else can see or communicate with him? No, Mr.
Chairman.
The experiment was designed around our brain waves.
In other words, we have only your word that this quantum leap ever really happened.
Admiral,you must understand that this committee cannot justify funding a project that costs $2.
4 billion a year on the word of any single human being, even one as highly respected and decorated as yourself.
Thank you for your testimony, Admiral.
We'll caucus and announce our decision on Friday.
Excuse me, Mr.
Chairman, but if you kill this project, you will end one of the greatest adventures mankind has ever undertaken.
And more important, you will leave a brave man back there alone.
He's not alone, Admiral.
He has God.
Please, be careful.
Oh,you don't have to worry about me.
I've been climbing trees since I was- since I was three.
If Ginger fell, I'djust die.
What are you doing, Sam? I'm trying to save Ginger.
That name is probably why he's up here in the first place.
He? Sam, how would you like to stop a revolution? What? Does the name Fidel Castro mean anything to you? No.
Should it? Well, I don't know, since it's '57, and he won't be taking over Cuba for two years.
Don't tell me Ziggy's changed his mind about what I'm here to do? Parallel hybrid computers, they never change their mind.
Their ego won't let them.
He's still predicting that you're here to make a heroic rescue.
- Here, kit- Whoa! - Uh-oh.
Oh, Ginger.
My poor baby.
Are you all right? My hero.
Oh, boy.
Don't be embarrassed, folks.
After 27 years on the Honeymoon Express, I've seen more than kissing.
And before we even left the station too.
Honeymoon Express? That's what we call the Niagara Falls run.
Most of these folks on this train are on their honeymoon.
I'm on a honeymoon.
How did you know we were newlyweds? Well, new suitcases, new rings, and the gleam in the gentleman's eye.
Will you be supping here or in the dining car? Dining ca- Here.
Usually, it's the bride that wants the dining car.
Yeah.
The dining car will be fine.
But could we have some champagne in here first? Champagne? Here? Uh, sure.
Be back in five minutes.
Uh, I'll be right back.
Porter? When you bring the champagne, could you pick up today's paper? You wanna read a newspaper? I like to keep up with current events.
Yes, sir.
Oh.
Will you be wanting me to make up the upper or lower bunk? Both.
Both? Yeah, both.
All aboard! White folks.
Um, I- I have to use the bathroom.
Not until you've kissed me first.
I, uh- I'll just- I'll just be a minute.
You've done it to me this time.
I'm sorry.
I know you're not gettin' the honeymoon you expected.
Oh, boy.
Why would a cop bring his gun and handcuffs on his honeymoon? I'm thinking like Al! Oh, Tom! You packed my book on torts, writs and subpoenas.
Oh, well, yeah.
You know.
Do you realize how much your supporting my dream means to me? I'm-I'm starting to get the idea.
It makes passing my bar seem unimportant next to us.
But-But passing the bar is important.
What say you, um, get in a little study time before dinner.
Lieutenant Macbride, are you trying to get me so in love with you that I'll do anything you want? Do you want me to come back later? No.
No? You do have to study, don't you? Yes, but- Good.
Then why don't you just put in a few pages of torts and writs, and-and I'll just go find the porter and tell him to keep our champagne on ice.
Sam, she's not interested in torts and writs.
She's interested in- Aren't you at least going to kiss me good-bye? Oh, boy.
Al? Al! Al, I'm a newlywed.
Can you believe it? And on my honeymoon! You lucky dog.
Lucky? Al, that woman is a complete stranger to me.
Why are you wasting this on him? Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Here, boy.
What am I here to do? You're here to have significant impact on an event of global importance.
What? Today is April 27, 1960.
In two days, the Russians are gonna down shoot down the U-2.
- The rock group? - No, no.
Our top secret spy plane flown by Francis Gary Powers.
- I don't remember.
- Well, why should you? You were only six years old when it happened.
The downing of the U-2 torpedoed the "Big Four" summit in Paris, the disarmament talks in Geneva, the Test Ban Treaty.
It single-handedly prolonged the Cold War for decades! And I'm here to change that? All you have to do is to get Ike to drop the mission.
Ike? Ike.
Dwight David Eisenhower, Okay.
Um, Al, how does a New York cop get the president of the United States to call off a top secret mission? You get your bride there to call her daddy, who's a U.
S.
senator and also Ike's golfing buddy.
Her daddy's a senator? Max Brown- Ohio.
And this-this is what Ziggy says I'm here to do? Not entirely.
But the opportunity is too good to pass up.
What does Ziggy say? Since when do you listen to egotistical hybrid computers? Since you started talking global impact.
Look, in all the leaping around we've done, we've never affected anything beyond individual lives.
I think that's the way he wants it.
And I think that all this global impact stuff has to do with something else - something else you're not telling me.
Sam, trust me on this one.
You're here to stop the U-2.
What does Ziggy say? He says there's a 78% - to help Diane pass her bar exam.
Bar exam.
Uh-huh.
Well, that's more like it.
How do I do that? Well, you go back in your compartment there.
And by now, she's only wearing a little black negligee that has a little black ribbon right about here which when you pull it, it unveils - Al, Al.
Yeah.
Then you take her in your arms and you make mad, passionate love to her.
Then you make more mad, passionate love to her.
And then you make even more - Al, I get the idea, all right? Okay.
Then just before she falls asleep from complete and utter exhaustion, you whisper lovingly in her ear, "You will pass your bar.
"You will pass your bar.
"You will tell your daddy to tell Ike not to send up the U-2.
" You know I can't- Oh, uh, porter, I'm sorry.
Could you keep that on ice until dinner? You're not having it in your compartment? Uh, no.
My wife has a little studying to do.
We always get a red light in Harlem.
They oughta put it on the schedule.
Thanks.
You're hurting me! Let me go! - Diane? - Tom! Tom, help me! Roget, please! Please, stop! No! You all right? I had a dream about you last night, Diane.
You know- You know this man? You didn't tell him, Diane? - I'm her husband.
- Ex-husband.
You really should have told him, Diane.
In the dream,you were running in the Argonne in the snow.
I know it was the Argonne because the flakes were big and wet, the way I remember them as a boy.
You went to an old mill, just like the one where the Gestapo caught Moulin.
There was a German officer there, tall and arrogant, and you started to make love to him.
Roget, please, don't do this.
Before it was over, I bled him till the snow turned red.
- That's enough! - He looked like you.
Except for the eyes.
He had the eyes of a man who could kill.
You hate me, don't you? What? No.
I didn't tell you I'd been married before because if I didn't tell you then it didn't happen, at least not for you.
And if it didn't happen for you, then I could pretend it didn't happen for me.
There's a weird logic in that.
You hate me.
I don't hate you.
Look, it's 1960.
Divorce is not unheard of.
What is unheard of is being kidnapped by your ex-husband.
I should have known Roget would never let me go.
I knew he was jealous when I started dating him.
I found it flattering.
I just thought he was being very French, and that once we were married it would all end.
It got worse.
He made me a prisoner in my own home.
We never went out.
I couldn't have dinner parties or see old friends.
He wouldn't even let me shop or get my hair done without him sending one of his bodyguards along.
Bodyguards? Roget smuggles arms.
Into Africa, mostly.
It's very lucrative, but it's very dangerous.
Didn't you know this before you married him? No.
I knew during the war he smuggled guns into France for the Resistance, but I never dreamed it became his profession.
He always talked about how horrible it had been- how everyone close to him had been caught and executed by the Germans, and how, after the war, he alone survived.
Diane, did you love him or feel sorry for him? A little of both.
I don't think I knew what love was until I met you.
Oh, Tom, I'm so afraid he'll hurt you.
Admiral, we're here to render our decision.
Mr.
Chairman, I would like to request a 48-hour delay in that rendering.
Admiral, nothing is going to change over the weekend.
Except history.
In 1960, an American U-2 reconnaissance plane was shot down on an intelligence mission over the Soviet Union.
By this Monday, the U-2 incident will not have occurred.
Dr.
Beckett is going to abort the mission, thereby changing history on a global basis and also proving that he's back there.
And if there are no changes, will you admit the Quantum Leap is a failure and go quietly into the sea of retirement? You have my word on that, Senator.
You have until Monday at 10:00.
- He's drinking a Kir.
- So? So, it's very French.
So's our champagne.
You know, you remind me of me.
You? Mm-hmm.
On my first train ride, I was confused, frightened.
I was sure everybody on board was out to get me.
How old were you? Two.
At two, it's appropriate.
Not at 26.
It is if you've been frightened.
Hmm.
What are you doing? Reading your champagne bubbles.
It's kind of like reading tea leaves, only it's more accurate.
It is? Mm-hmm.
I can see that you're going to pass your bar, become a lawyer, go into corporate law- Yuck.
Find that boring, enter politics, Hmm.
and become the first president of the United States to give birth in the oval office.
Is that how your mother calmed you down - by making you laugh? Uh, no.
She would give me a book to read.
At two? What were you, some child prodigy? As a matter of fact, he was.
At five, he could do calculus in his head.
At 10, he could beat a computer at chess.
Would you excuse me? I need to go to the restroom.
Not the men's room again.
Sam, I'm startin' to feel like a pervert.
Um, I will be in the compartment.
I have some girl things to do and something very special to put on.
You know, my first wife and I spent our honeymoon on the train to Niagara Falls.
And my third wife.
And my fourth wife- Or was it the fifth? Fourth or the fifth? Let me see.
The fourth was - What was her name? Sharon.
She wore pink baby dolls.
Maxine was the fifth one.
She didn't wear anything at all.
She used to flavor her toes with mint leaves.
It was Maxine, Sam.
I took my first, third and fifth wife to Niagara Falls.
How odd.
That's funny, Sam.
Having someone try to kidnap your bride isn't.
You're kidding.
You're not kidding.
Oh, damn, I forgot.
We pulled Ziggy's research unit off-line.
What? Well, it's the end of the month.
The funds are a little low.
It happens.
You make cuts.
No, not in research you don't make cuts.
Don't worry.
I can switch some funds from the motor pool.
You know, sometimes I feel like nobody back there gives a damn.
I do.
Yeah, I-I know you do, Al.
I'm-I'm sorry.
Did you ask Diane to call her daddy about the U-2 mission? - I've got bigger problems.
- I don't think so.
Her ex is trying to kidnap her, and I- Al, she thinks I'm her husband, the man that she married this morning at who knows where, and in a few minutes she's gonna expect me to go in there and make love to her.
What's the problem? I'm not her husband! To her you are.
But not to me! Al, it's-it's not morally right to sleep with a woman that you don't love.
I agree.
You agree? I have loved every woman I ever slept with at the time I slept with them.
Okay.
All right.
I don't love her yet.
What do you mean, yet? Well, I mean, I'm just- You think I'm falling in love with her? Oh, Sam.
You're going to have to bite the bullet.
While I go back to put research online, you're going to have to face a beautiful woman who wants to spend the entire night making mad, passionate love to you.
It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
Is this really what you want me to do? If it is, I wish you'd give me a sign.
Oh, boy.
I have something to tell you.
My-My name isn't Tom Macbride.
Oh? What is it? Beck- Beckett.
It's Sam-Sam Beckett.
The playwright? I don't think so.
Then who? Well, um, primarily I'm a quantum physicist.
Oh? I like it.
And I'm Lara, the K.
G.
B.
's sexiest agent.
I boarded the Orient Express with orders to seduce Sam Beckett, America's most famous astrophysicist Quantum physicist.
and have him fall madly in love with me and drive him crazy by refusing to sleep with him until he tells me how to make a hydrogen bomb.
You don't like it.
Okay.
Tell me your fantasy.
I'm Tom Macbride.
I'm a police lieutenant on my honeymoon with the most beautiful woman I've ever known.
Oh! I like that story.
What is it? It's Roget! I don't see him.
Are you sure you didn't imagine it? He was wearing the same trench coat he had on this afternoon.
How could he have caught up with us? I don't know.
Car, plane.
I don't know.
What are you gonna do? Walk the train.
No.
Look, if he's on the train, I'm gonna have to face him sooner or later.
He'll kill you! No one's gonna kill me.
I'm just gonna explain to the conductor what's going on, and then they'll turn him over to the police at the next stop.
The police won't do anything.
Look, he tried to kidnap you.
I know, but it's our word against his.
And even if they do believe us, it might be considered a domestic matter.
There's this case in Buffalo in '49 where a man tried to kidnap his ex-wife to try and win her back.
Diane, shh.
Why are you doing this? So I won't scream.
All aboard! Whoop.
You all right? Ah, the groom.
Je vous en prie.
You know, I was wondering.
Do you think Diane married you because you're a policeman? Maybe subconsciously she was seeking a protector, a blue knight.
I asked my analyst about it this morning, and he thought it quite possible.
What else did he say? Regretfully, that I was quite mad.
I would agree with that diagnosis.
- I love her.
- You want to possess her.
That's not love.
She took a vow to love, honor and obey until death.
She changed her mind.
She doesn't have that right.
That's no longer strictly a male privilege, pal.
- You're not afraid of me? - No.
You should be.
I'm going to kill you.
No, you're not.
Yes, he is.
Tom Macbride was found dead on this train.
Stabbed through the heart.
Your lack of fear shows how little you know of me.
Maybe I should tell you a little war story about a woman I used to know.
She had a Nazi lover, and she gave him the names of everyone in our village who was with the Resistance.
The Gestapo caught, tortured and hung them all.
- All but me.
- You killed her? - Yes.
- She didn't give them your name? No.
I suppose because she was my mother.
Now, I think you do fear me.
Take him, Sam.
Sam, take him! They got my gun.
You let 'em get your gun? I take that back.
You probably didn't have any choice.
Thank you.
This is gettin' dangerous, Sam.
You think? Ziggy says your best shot is to have the conductor radio ahead for the police, because Roget is wanted in New York for murdering his psychiatrist.
If you swim with the sharks, you get bit.
You and Diane are supposed to lock yourself in your compartment until the police board the train in Niagara- Uh-oh.
No, that's no good.
Because the minute the cops pick him up, you'll leap, and you can't do that until you get Diane to get her daddy to get Ike to cancel the U-2 mission! Would you get off that broken record? I'm trying to save Diane's life.
He's not gonna kill her! He's gonna kill you! Sam, Congress doesn't believe you leaped.
I told 'em you'd prove it.
Have you seen the conductor? Change history.
Stop the U-2 incident from ever happening.
That's your problem.
No, it's your problem too! If you don't prove you're back here, they're gonna shut down the project! In case you haven't noticed, Al, I don't need the project.
They aren't leaping me around anymore.
God is.
If they shut down the project, you won't be able to contact me.
I was thinking of tryin' a couple of tin cans on a piece of string.
- When are they pulling the plug? - Now.
This is our last contact.
I don't think I can make it without you, Al.
I don't wanna hear you can't make it without me.
Of course you can, if you had to.
But you won't if- If I get Diane to call her dad.
I know.
I know.
Diane, it's Sam- Tom.
He's on the train, isn't he? Yes.
But the conductor is radioing ahead to the police.
All we have to do is stay locked up in here until we get to the station.
And then it'll be over.
I promise.
Diane, when we get to Niagara Falls, I'd like you to call your father.
I can't.
Don't you remember? He and Senator Tipton left after the wedding to go fishing in Canada.
They'll be incommunicado for a week.
Why do you want me to call Dad? You don't think the police will arrest Roget, do you? No.
Yeah, they'll arrest him.
I mean, he's wanted for murder in New York.
A psychiatrist.
Oh, God.
Oh, Tom.
I don't think I can make it until morning.
Sure you can.
I'll distract you by asking you some more questions.
And considering the circumstances, don't you think you should get into something practical? Um- "In order to be valid, "a state enactment must meet a three-part test.
Mm-hmm.
The law must be-" "Enacted within the state's boundaries and must not unduly burden interstate commerce.
" Because the "one man, one vote" requirement is part of the 14th Amendment which applies to the states, and therefore it can't be a right reserved to the states under the 1 Oth Amendment.
Enough studying.
Shh.
Henri! Follow him! Start the train! Hey, this train ain't goin' anywhere until I find out who pulled that emergency cord, and it sure as hell ain't goin' anywhere with you hangin' onto the side of this engine! I pulled it.
Lieutenant Macbride, N.
Y.
P.
D.
I don't have time to explain it.
Just go! I need a gun.
He's a cop.
Give it to him.
Railroad issue, 50 years ago.
It worked? It's all over, Diane.
Throw your gun out of the window.
Now, s'il vous plâit.
Come on! Do it! You know, it's amazing how the brain can absorb the sound of a shot.
I wonder if suicides know that before they shoot themselves in the head.
You kill him, Roget, and you'll never get me off this train alive.
Not alone.
Let him go, and I'll freely go with you anywhere.
No! Please, Roget.
Let him live, and I'll do anything you want.
I'll go anywhere you want.
I swear on my mother's soul.
Please,just let him live.
That's how much you love him, Diane? Yes.
You leave me no choice then.
Next time, it will be easier.
According to this history book, on May 26, 1960, diplomatic furor over the American U-2 spy plane shot down by the Russians has driven East-West relations into a tailspin.
At the United Nations Security Council meeting today, Soviet Foreign Minister Andrei Gromyko accused the United States of pushing the world to the brink of war by its continued military espionage against the peace-loving Soviet people.
Do I need to read any further, Admiral? No, sir.
Good.
Mr.
Chairman, I know we were unable to stop the U-2, but Dr.
Beckett did change history.
Admiral, please.
He was able to save Diane Macbride, and he still didn't leap, so - What the hell are you trying to pull, Admiral? I don't understand, Senator.
Are you talking about Senator Brown's daughter? Yes, sir.
Diane Macbride.
Then your research computer goofed, Admiral.
I still don't understand, Senator.
It's true I was Max Brown's protégé and was elected to his seat when he died in '65.
So I can see how you'd believe by involving his daughter, you might evoke some sympathy from me.
Mr.
Chairman, I swear I had no idea you knew Senator Brown or his daughter.
It just so happened - Only you didn't research deep enough.
Diane ran against me.
She was the one I beat for this seat 30 years ago.
Mr.
Chairman- Admiral, with all due respect, you lost.
Now sit down and take your medicine.
I've done everything I think you put me here to do.
So, please, either leap me out of here or look the other way.
Um- What, um- What amendment or amendments explicitly limit private acts by individuals? Thirteenth and 14th.
I love you.
I love you too.
But you're wrong.
What? The 14th Amendment, which "prohibits discrimination under its Equal Protection Clause " addresses state action, not private action.
The 13th Amendment is the only one that explicitly limits private acts by individuals.
My God, you're right! I don't know how I could have missed that.
That would have influenced half my constitutional rights answers.
That one stupid mistake could've cost me the exam.
This committee has decided that your 2.
4-billion-dollar funding request for Project Quantum Leap- shall be approved for one more year.
I know you haven't proven that Dr.
Beckett has traveled back in time or that ifhaving done so he can make an impact of global importance.
But it is the opinion of this committee that such heroic undertakings advance the human cause, and whether or not they succeed is not so important as the fact that we try.
You have your funding for one more year, Admiral.
This hearing's adjourned.
Admiral, I see that Dr.
Beckett's first name is Samuel.
Uh- Yes, it is.
- No relation to the playwright? - No, I don't think so.
I seem to recall meeting a Samuel Beckett.
Astrophysicist, as I recall.
I just don't remember where I met him.
It'll probably come to me when I'm least expecting it, like in bed tonight.
Good day, Admiral.

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