Sonny with a Chance (2009) s02e01 Episode Script

Are You Radey to get "So Random"? Hello, I'm Sicky Vicky.
And Welcome To " How To Have Fun When You're Sick.
" Today I've Got A Cold.
I Got It From Alex Pizarsky Because She Came To School With A Cold.
Not Cool.
She Sneezed A Booger On My Plate And I Thought It Was A Piece Of Chicken And I Ate It.
Anyways, Now I've Got A Cold.
But Colds Can Be Fun, Even When You're Sick In Bed.
You Can Make A Lot Of Cool Things.
Like Today, We're Making Sno T-filled Tissue Flowers.
See? All You Gotta Do Is Take A Tissue, Blow Your Nose In It-- And Now You've Got A Snot Tissue Flower.
Easy! Becky Russ Wears A Flower In Her Hair To School, And One Time It Had A Worm In It And It Crawled In Her Ear.
Not Cool.
Okay, Another Neat Thing You Could Do Is You Can Make An Ear Swab Princess Crown.
You Just Find A Bunch Of These, Used Of Course.
The Wax Makes An Awesome Glue.
Arrange Them In A Circle The Size Of Your Head And Presto! You've Got A Princess Ear Swab Crown.
It's Pretty Hot.
The Last Thing We're Gonna Make Is Phlegm Paintings.
It's Easy.
You Just Hawk Up A Lot Of Green Phlegm.
And Voila-- A Masterpiece! Well, That's It For Today.
I'm Sicky Vicky, And Next Week We'll Show You How To Bake With A Stomach Ache.
''Glad You're Feeling Achy, Feverish And Stinky, "Vicky Is A Sicky Who Can Make It All Fun, ''Sicky Vicky!'' [ Singing .]
Off To The Races, I'm Going Places # Might Be A Long Shot, Not Gonna Waste It This Is The Big Break And It's Calling My Name Yeah! So Far, So Great, Get With It At Least That's How I See It Having A Dream Is Just The Beginning So Far, So Great, Believe It Can't Take Away This Feeling Taking A Ride With Chance On My Side Yeah, I Can't Wait So Far, So Great So Far, So Great I'm Starving.
I Could Eat A Horse.
- I Could Eat A Koala.
- I Could Eat A Baby Unicorn, Horn And All! You Guys, Stop Eating.
I Have Big News.
Introducing The Pants That Are About To Take America By Storm-- Tawni Hart's Extreme Skinny Jeans.
I Now Give You Three Seconds To Stare At My Butt.
Don't Do It, Nico.
It's A Trap.
No, I Wanna, I Wanna! Wasting Time.
Too Late.
Aw.
Now If You Wanna See Them Up Close, You'll Have To Buy Them.
Tawni Hart's Extreme Skinny Jeans-- Available For Women, Men And Purse Dogs.
I Could Eat A Purse Dog, Purse And All.
You Guys, You Guys, Stop Eating.
Okay, Fine Fine Fine.
- Turn Around, Let Me See Your Butt.
- What? Notice The Difference Between Tawni Hart's Extreme Skinny Jeans And The Jeans Sonny's Mother Picked Out For Her.
- Oh.
- She Didn't Pick Them Out.
She Just-- Okay, Fine, She Picked Them Out.
Look, I Don't Know What You Guys Are Talking About, But "tween Weekly" Just Wrote A Huge Article On My Walkathon For Books.
- Give Me That.
- I Just Stared At It.
How Can This Be? Three Pages On Your Charity And Not One Word About Tawni Hart's Extreme Skinny Jeans, Available Online.
Tawni, Are You Gonna Sign Up For The Walkathon? We're Raising Money For Books And Libraries In Needy Areas.
Pass.
I've Got Jeans To Sell.
Operators Are Standing By.
Do You Ever Feel Sometimes-- I Don't Know-- Maybe Just A Smidge Selfish? Me? No! Sonny, I'm All About Helping Other People, And I Will Help Those Other People All Look Good In Tawni Hart's Extreme Skinny Jeans! Also Available In Plus Sizes.
Did You Guys Just Notice A Cold Wind? Tawni? I'm Used To It.
Not Her, Them.
They Always Have To Travel In A Pack, Like Shiny Wolves.
Hey, Chad, Did You Hear About My Walkathon For Books? Yes, We Did.
I Have To Say, Sonny, You're Very Inspiring.
Well, We Have So Much.
It's Important That We Give Back.
No, I Mean, You Inspired Me To Have A Walkathon Against Your Walkathon.
A Walkathon Against Books? How Can You Be Against Books? That's Easy-- The More You Read The Less You Watch "mackenzie Falls.
" That's Your Cause, To Get People To Watch More Tv? Are You Not Listening? It's To Get Them To Read Less.
I'll See You At The Walkathon Against Books.
Ooh, Gotta Tell You Something.
We're Gonna Raise More Money Than You.
- For What? - To Not Buy Books.
That Makes No Sense.
Guess All That Reading You're Doing Isn't Making You Any Smarter Now, Is It? See Ya.
I Mean, For Once, We're Here On Time, Ready To Rehearse - And The Girls Aren't.
- Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm.
Can You Believe How Unprofessional And Immature They Are? I Know.
Look At My Coconuts.
Hey, What Are You Guys Waiting For? - Let's Rehearse.
- What? Wait.
- - - Okay.
Welcome To The Lovely Studios Of ?T× I Wanna Wanna Hula ?T× - - - What?! Can You Believe That Chad's Hosting A Walkathon Against Books? And "tween Weekly" Tv Is Covering It Live.
What Are You Guys Waiting For? - Let's Rehearse.
- Okay, Now That We're All Here, Welcome To The Lovely Studio Of ?T× Come On, I Wanna Hula ?T× ?T× But I Don't Wanna Hula ?T× grady: ?T× Still, You Gotta Hula ?T× - Hey! Can You Believe "tween Weekly" Tv Is Covering Chad's Ridiculous Walkathon? I Know, Right? Which Means Less Publicity For My Walkathon.
More To The Point, No Publicity For My Jeans, And I Have Pants To Fill.
I Have Minds To Fill.
We Have Three Minutes Of Hula Sketch To Fill.
So Can You Please Focus? All Right, Where Were We? - - - ?T× Aloha! ?T× - Wait, I Have An Idea.
- Does It Involve Me Selling Pants? It Does Indeed.
It's Called ?T× Come On, Let's Make Some Moolah ?T× ?T× Make Chad Look Like A Fool-ah.
?T× Yes! That Is So Not Cool-ah.
So Skinny, Too Skinny.
These Pants Are So Skinny.
Tawni's Pants Are Squishing My " Glutus Maximoolah.
" I Signed Up For A Walkathon, Not To Have My Internal Organs Crushed By Tawni's Jeans.
I Want My Mommy J.
This Is Impossible.
We Have To Make This Work.
The Only Way That We Can Get Tawni To Walk With Us Is If We Wear Her Jeans, Because All Of Her Fans Will See Her On Tv, Us Wearing Her Jeans, Which Will Sell Her More Jeans And Raise Money For Books And Less Money For No Books, Then Everyone Wins Except Chad! Hey, Now That I Got That Out, I Can Button My Pants.
Well, Good For You Because I'm Never Getting These Things On.
- Me Either.
- Yes, You Will.
Thanks To The Tawni Hart Butthorn.
Oh, Okay.
Okay, I Think We Can Do This.
Let's Go, Come On.
All Right.
- Okay, One Two, Three! Okay.
Right Cheek In.
Right Cheek In.
Oh, Left Cheek Out.
- Okay.
okay Okay Okay Okay.
Left Cheek In! Now Remove The Butthorn And Zip Up.
Oh, Okay.
Whoa.
Let Me Try And Get This Out.
Okay.
We're Gonna Need A Butthorn For The Butthorn 'cause This Baby Ain't Coming Out.
Yeah, About Your Butthorn, You May Want To Rethink The Placement Of Your Face.
Trust Me, You Guys.
These Wedgies Are For A Good Cause.
Speaking Of Someone Who's Received Dozens Of Them, I Can Say No Good Has Ever Come From A Wedgie.
Get Over Yourselves.
You've Never Looked Better.
Now Come On, Let's Runway To The Yogurt Machine.
- - - Hold Up.
I Have To De-wedge And Redistribute.
Me Too.
Wait A Minute.
That's Our Pose.
How's This Possible? The "randoms" Look Hot.
What's Going On Here? Why Do You Guys Look Good Enough For Me To Even Look At You? We're Wearing Tawni Hart's Extreme Skinny Jeans To Our Walkathon For Books.
If Those Jeans Can Make You Guys Look Good, It Can Make Us Look Even Better At Our Walkathon Against Books.
One Pair For Each Of Us.
How Much? - $100.
- A Pair? - A Leg.
$200.
- Tawni, You Can't Let Them Wear Your Jeans For Evil.
Fine.
I'll Donate $10 A Pair To "for Books.
" - $30.
- $20.
- Done.
- That'll Be $220 A Pair.
Done.
Ooh! I'm Tingling.
My Legs Are Almost Numb With Excitement And Soon To Be Money.
We're Gonna Look Hotter Than You At The Walkathon.
Giving Back Is What's Hot.
That's What People Who Don't Look Hot Say.
Come On, Tawni, We're Late.
Nico And Grady Have Already Left For The Walkathon.
Let's Move.
- I Can't.
- Or You Won't.
- I Really Can't.
- Give Me A Break.
I Knew You Would Try To Get Out Of This Walkathon.
- Come On, Let's Go.
- Ah! I Can't Feel My Legs.
Can You Feel 'em Now? No, But Thankfully, - I Can Still Move My Arms.
- Ow! This Is A New Low, Even For You.
But You're Going Even If I Have To Drag You.
Even After We Stuffed Ourselves Into Those Jeans For You You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself.
Which One Of You Can't Move Your Legs? - Me.
Are You Kidding Me? You Called The Paramedics To Get Out Of This? Oh, Look, Now They're Lifting You Up.
Now You're On A Gurney.
Now They're Rolling You Out Of The Dressing Room.
Bravo! At Least You Can Commit To Something.
Wait A Minute.
Tawni Can't Commit To Anything.
Oh, My Gosh, She's Not Faking.
Tawni! I Promise You're Going To Be Okay.
Tawni, I'm So Sorry I Didn't Believe You.
And You Thought I Was Just Being Selfish.
You Thought I Was-- My Jeans Are On Tv.
- Books Books! - No Books, No Books! - Read Read! - Watch Watch! It's A Bright Sunny Day And Young Hollywood Is Giving Back And Taking Away, But They All Look Fantastic.
Tell Us Why, Tell Us Why.
They're All Wearing Tawni Hart's Extreme Skinny Jeans.
Sonny, Your Legs Work.
Will You Jump And Down For Me? Whoo! I Have Your Diagnosis, Miss Hart, And It's Nothing To Dance About.
- What Is It, Doctor? - You Have S.
P.
S.
- S.
P.
S.
? - Not S.
P.
S.
! I'm Afraid We're Gonna Have To Cut Them Off.
- My Legs? - Your Pants.
No, Not My Pants.
Miss Hart, S.
P.
S.
Is Skinny Pants Syndrome.
Your Extreme Skinny Jeans Are Constricting The Flow Of Blood To Your Legs, Causing Severe Numbness And Inhibiting Your Ability To Walk.
Sorry.
Your Pants Did This To You? Miss Munroe, This Is A Very Serious Condition.
Yeah.
Yes, Doctor.
I'm Sure That Everything Is Funny To You Comedians.
But Let Me Tell You There Is No Such Thing As A Funny Bone.
See, I Think They Get That Name 'cause It's Called The Humerus.
Are You Trying To Tell Me How To Do My Job? Do I Go Onto Your Show And Try To Make People Laugh? Because I Cod.
Sorry, Doctor.
Please, Let's Focus On What's Important Here.
The Television! You Shallow Show People! No, The Walkathons-- They're All Wearing Tawni's Extreme Skinny Jeans.
- Books Books! - No Books, No Books! Books Boo-- Chad, Can I Get A Comment? We Win, Sucke-- Agggghhh! Oh, No, "mackenzie Falls" Is Down! What Is Happening? S.
P.
S.
Is Happening.
- - - Incoming! Get The Victims In Here, Stat! Then Get Their Pants Off, Stat! Help Me, Doc.
You Gotta Help Me, Please.
We Will, Son.
We Will.
Find Some Room For Him.
Will Someone Please Find Him Some Room? We Got Another Medevac Coming In.
Oh, I'm Just One Man! Hurry Up, Doc, And Cut Me.
But If You Can't Save Me, Can I At Least Call You Dad And You'll Say You Love Me? dad, What Are You Doing? I'm The Only Important One Here.
Come On! - - - Sonny, Sonny, Come Here.
- What, Chad? - I Need To Tell You Something In Case I Don't Make It.
I Love-- - Yes? I Deeply Love That More Kids Are Reading Less Books 'cause Of Chad Dylan Cooper.
Oh, No.
I Think You're Coming Down With P.
F.
S.
Too.
- What's That? - Pillow In The Face Syndrome.
Whoa, Hey! - Miss Munroe.
- Just Fluffing, Doc.
How's Tawni? Your Friend's Case Is Very Severe.
It's Imperative That You Keep Her Away From Those Jeans.
I'll Do My Best.
I've Written Her A Prescription.
A Prescription? Seriously? Sorry, Doc.
Yeah, I Promise I'll Take Care Of Tawni.
Yeah.
Hey, My Legs Feel Tingly.
Uh-oh.
Ugh Is It Funny Now, Miss Munroe? Come On, Tawni, The Doctor Said You Have To Take Your Medicine.
i Don't Want To.
It's For Your Health.
I Look Horrendous In My Medicine.
Why Don't You Have To Wear It? Because I Only Had A Mild Case.
Thank You, Mommy Jeans.
Look, Let's Go Outside For A Walk And Get You Some Fresh Air.
Come On.
- Do You Hear Something? No, Come On.
- - - There It Is Again.
That's Just Grady Sanding His Coconuts.
Hey, Sonny, Just Came To See How Tawni Was Doing.
Hey, Nice Pants.
Are You Guys Working On A Clown Sketch? You Guys, She's Really Sensitive.
Those Are Her Medicine Pants.
Oh! Yeah! Just Go.
- - - Just Go.
- Tawni.
No! - No Skinny Jeans.
My Legs Are Perfectly Fine.
Really? Well, Then I Guess You Wouldn't Mind If I Did This.
Now Go Put Your Medicine Back On.
Never.
I'd Rather Crawl Hot Than Walk Ugly.
Listen, If You Don't Wanna Help Yourself, Then Think Of Your Fans.
- You're Their Role Model.
- Whh Is Why They'll Never See Me In Those Clown Pants.
Fine, I Give Up.
I'm Done With You And Your Jeans.
So Go Ahead And Wear Your Poison Pants.
They're As Skinny As Your Heart.
Can't Even Stand To Look At You.
But I Have To Get Ready For The Show.
So Just Look Away.
Ooh! give It Up For Sonny Munroe! and Make Some Noise for The Dazzling Tawni Hart! and There They Are, The Cast Of "so Random!" What, No Standing Ovation? I Always Get A Standing Ovation.
Why Aren't My Fans Standing? Because They Can't.
They've All Got Skinny Pants Syndrome.
I Did That To Me? Yes, You Did Because You Couldn't Stay Out Of Your Skinny Jeans, And Now They're All Clapping In Their Seats.
You Happy? No, Sonny, I'm Not.
You Were Right.
My Fans Are Suffering And It Doesn't Feel Good.
I Wanna Help Like You Do.
I Want A Heart As Fat As Yours.
Oh, Tawni, Hearing You Say That Makes My Fat Heart Swell.
If You Can Get Thousands Of People To Follow You Into Paralysis, Imagine What You Can Do For The Libraries, The Whales, The Planet.
I'm Thinking Bigger, Much Much Bigger.
?T× One Day We Will ?T× ?T× Walk Hand In Hand ?T× ?T× Every Boy And Girl From Every Land ?T× ?T× From The Mountains ?T× ?T× To The Beach ?T× ?T× And That Day ?T× ?T× That Day ?T× ?T× Is Almost In Our Reach ?T× ?T× Don't Wear The Pants ?T× ?T× If They Are Skinny ?T× ?T× Stop S.
P.
S.
?T× ?T× Change The Way You Dress ?T× ?T× Tight Is No Longer Innie ?T× ?T× When You Hear Fashion Calling ?T× ?T× Think Of Those Before Who've Fallen ?T× ?T× And Join Our ?T× ?T× Big Pants Family ?T× S.
P.
S.
, Skinny Pants Syndrome, Has Given Me A Chance To Make A Difference In This World.
Join Our Fight, And Together We Can Conquer Skinny Pants Syndrome.
?T× And That Day ?T× ?T× That Day ?T× ?T× Is Almost In Our Reach ?T× - ?T× Don't Wear The Pants ?T× - Don't Wear Those Pants! - ?T× If They Are Skinny ?T× - Oh, They're So Skinny! ?T× Stop S.
P.
S.
, Change The Way You Dress ?T× - Ow! ?T× Tight Is No Longer Innie ?T× You Know They're Not Innie! ?T× It's Time To Stop The Hate ?T× ?T× Let Your Blood Circulate ?T× ?T× Big Pants Slide On ?T× - ?T× So Easily ?T× - ?T× Slide On So Easily ?T× - ?T× Don't Wear The Pants ?T× - ?T× Don't Wear The Pants ?T× - ?T× If They Are Skinny ?T× - ?T× If They Are Skinny ?T× ?T× Stop S.
P.
S.
, Change The Way You Dress ?T× - ?T× Tight Is No Longer Innie ?T× - ?T× No Longer Innie ?T× ?T× It's Time To Stop The Hate ?T× ?T× Let Your Blood Circulate ?T× - Let Your Blood Circulate! ?T× Big Pants Slide On ?T× ?T× So Easily.
?T× Give It To Me Straight, Doc.
I Can Take It.
- You Have L.
B.
S.
- Leading Boy Syndrome? No, Lack Of Books Syndrome.
Also Known As Lazy Butt Syndrome.
And L.
B.
S Is Also The Abbreviation Of Pounds, Which Is What You're Going To Gain If You Don't Stop Watching Yourself On Tv.
- No, Doc! Can't You Just Cut My Pants Off, You Know How You Do? I Want You To Read Two Books And Call Me In The Morning, Mr.
Cooper.
Actually, That's Dylan Cooper.
Not Anymore.
I Removed Your Dylan While You Were Under.
No! What Did You Do With It? Gave It To Someone Who Wouldn't Waste It.
Good Afternoon, Mr.
Grady Dylan Mitchell.
Just Got My Dylan.
Been Waiting For Two Years.
No! Why? Must've Fallen Asleep Reading.