Strays (2021) s02e01 Episode Script

1
Great!
And the mango passionfruit
is gluten free, right?
And the cookies & cream
doesn't have nuts?
Lotta different
cupcake eaters at our shop.
Oh, and the red velvet is Yup, yup.
Okay, good see you soon.
(MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY)
(KNOCKING) Excuse me.
You can't park here.
This lot is for staff
and shelter clients only.
What? Barry?
He was so wasted by the end of the game
He was doing shots of soy sauce.
(KNOCKING) I know you can
hear me. I've left you several notes,
And printed a map to a municipal lot.
I have another one, if you need it.
(SIGHING) One second.
(SIGHING) Sorry, what
seems to be the problem?
You can't park here.
I work here.
No, you don't.
I work in this truck.
Well, we need the spots.
Yesterday you blocked a minivan
belonging to a family with
a daughter Julianna
who's always hated cats.
That is, until she found
a genius ex-feral siamese-mix
And named her Doja.
Her real name was Twinkles
but I wasn't gonna argue.
Okay, can you please move
your office to another location,
Or you know what? You'll have
to deal with this guy.
Is that a 2018?
You got the long bed and the crew cab.
Tell me you got the sport package.
I did.
Ah! This truck.
Incredible. Incredible.
Well, you are really lucky
that he was in a good mood.
♪
Aw. His name's Checkers,
and he's adorable.
(MEOWING)
Great work, Yazmin.
I mean, these aren't for sale,
but I love the initiative.
Nickelback, who did we have to
kill to get the best job ever?
You sat in cat turd yesterday.
But then I got to wear my
sweatpants at work.
Do we both need to be here?
Oh, I need you to go pick up cupcakes.
I have a meeting with Liam
and a new board member.
Why? Are you getting fired?
- No.
- Someone else getting fired?
Absolutely not.
Then why'd you order cupcakes?
Huh, I don't know, why did I order them?
Memory loss is a sign of dementia.
I thought it would be nice
to do something for the staff
And the volunteers, and it also happens
to be a one-year anniversary.
Anniversary for who?
For Nikki!
Wow, a year already?
That's depressing.
Yup, she was my first hire
when I first started
right before that, so,
hm, I guess that means
Yeah, yeah, we get it. Congrats, boss.
Nobody had you lasting
that long in the pool.
What pool?
The pool Of life.
Okay, so can you pick up the cupcakes?
Can you give me the keys to your car?
Fine.
You know, I've been here
five years this month.
Maybe pick up a cake as well.
Eeh!
(BARKING, MEOWING)
LIAM: Two local shelters just closed.
And that's why we've
taken in so many new dogs
in the last few days,
and this is Kristian.
Oh! Hi, Kristian!
Our acting manager of animal care.
Oh! Hi.
And these are our older rescues.
They would've wound up
in a kill shelter,
but we took them in.
Who says you can't
teach old dogs new tricks?
Ringo, sit And shake a cast.
Wrong paw. He's still working on it.
Aw, cute.
SHANNON: Tonya's our
newest board member.
She used to be a banker,
but now she's banking on us.
After I had my son,
I knew I had to give back.
And she couldn't say no to an old pal.
We were classmates in university.
Really, cause you look ol
Don't say it.
Well, welcome aboard.
I had no idea that you two
went to school together.
We dated.
- What?
- Briefly. Tonya helped me
Figure some things out shall we say.
And then you broke up with me.
And now he's single again.
Surprise, surprise.
I mean, I was surprised.
I thought you and Hugh
were the real deal.
Oh, please. Our Liam, dating
a hygienist? Not good enough.
Can we not talk about this now, please?
Also I would love to hear
your thoughts on fundraising.
We're trying to go after bigger donors.
Oh, then she needs to
meet Evelyn Cabrera.
You're still in touch with her?
She's terrifying.
Liam, she can hear you!
I'm kidding, I knew he was
talking about Evelyn Cabrera.
We worked capital markets together.
So smart, loves dogs,
has more money than god.
I will set up a meeting Thursday.
Ooh, I'm at a shelter
association conference.
Wednesday?
I have a meeting with the
Montessori school in our district.
Isn't your kid like only 6 months?
I know, we should have
been on this a year ago.
But I'll move it,
and if this costs my son
his spot you're dead. Cheers all.
Bye.
Come on.
♪
Ooh, how was the vacay?!
Tell me everything.
It was a six day
walking tour of Antwerp.
Okay, maybe not everything.
We did the Diamond District,
the Vlaamse Opera.
You haven't heard opera until
you've heard it in Flemish.
You would have loved it, Kristian.
Sorry, were you saying something?
Rude. Lara just came back from
It was a tour of Belgium
for lifelong learners.
Of course.
Edu-vacational.com.
They cater to travelers
with an IQ of 150 or higher,
So it's pretty fun.
Oh, uh, I didn't even
know you were away.
Don't mind him. We all missed you!
Well, back to the grind.
Or as they say in Antwerp,
terug naar de sleur.
Ow!
That was mean. You showed zero interest.
I was reading.
Yeah, 'cause today's dog
is so fascinating.
Meanwhile, I'm left trying to figure out
Where the heck Antwerp is.
Sorry.
You know, I used to think you liked her.
(CHUCKLING)
But I guess you moved on.
Yeah.
But can I tell you a secret?
I haven't moved on at all!
Oh, my gosh.
You played it so cool.
I know, my mom gave me some
advice which really grounded me.
"every relationship
starts with a moment."
I thought you said
your mom gave you the advice.
Yeah, her voice gets deeper
when she's squatting.
The point is, I just have
to wait for my moment.
Like in the movies.
Their eyes meet, and bam!
Things changed. It's their moment!
Though, I've never had one.
Oh, really? I have them all the time.
Well, I can feel my moment coming,
but until then, it's Krissy kool-pants.
I love it. So exciting!
I know!
(CLEARING THROAT)
Oh, there's our fave volunteer.
Don't tell the others I said that.
Oh, they know. They're jealous.
You okay with that, Doris?
And how is Ringo doing?
Getting in the way as usual.
DORIS: Look at that sweet face.
SHANNON: And he gets
his cast off tomorrow.
DORIS: Well, I can't
miss the big leg reveal!
Oh! It's the latest.
(GASPING) Another mascarpone murder?
It's a series. We're obsessed.
Chef Morris has a new assistant.
Kinda reminds me of you.
She's quirky and funny and pretty.
Aw!
The scene before she dies. Oh, my god.
Spoiler alert!
Oh, don't worry, she's still
got all the sex stuff
To look forward to.
So, is it a romance,
a crime series, or a cookbook?
Calls itself an erotic pot-boiler.
Well, then I will be
sure to read it alone.
♪
Creepy. Ever since
we talked about body pillows
I've been getting all
these ads for them.
Our devices are listening.
Also probably because I used
your laptop to buy one.
Oh yes, turn it up!
Wait, so does that mean
you also used my credit card?
Um, what's going on?
Uh-oh, fun police.
'Cause if we're dancin',
I can't hear it.
Crank it, k-man.
KRISTIAN: On it.
Okay!
Go, Kobe! Go, Kobe!
Oh wow, dance party! I love it.
Come on, Lara, let's do this.
I don't really know the song.
Kristian! Show us what you got!
Thanks, but I don't
Come on, Kristian!
Okay.
JOY: Ooh! Woo! Get it, k-man.
Check out the moves!
Paulie, get in here.
Okay. Sure.
Hold on.
NIKKI: Wow, Paulie!
Was ballroom your
extra-curricular behind bars?
Actually, you know,
me and my ex used to cut a rug,
But yes.
Paul, going old school.
I love ballroom.
We got tickets to the dance
sport finals in Antwerp.
So good.
Oh, maybe you should switch partners.
Uh, but Kristian's kind of
in the middle of something.
How can I refuse?
Okay! Easily.
♪
Wow. Paul is amazing.
This sucks!
(LAUGHING)
Boom.
(LAUGHING) (APPLAUDING)
Woo-wee. Phew.
♪
(WHIRRING)
PAUL: Almost. And
Buona salute! (CHEERING)
There you go, little guy.
Aw, nice gams, buddy.
Thanks, buddy.
I bought them in Bruges.
They're made of recycled fishing nets.
PAUL: Cool.
I was talking about Ringo's leg.
Right.
(PHONE VIBRATING) Oh!
One sec, it's Doris.
Deputy detective sue-sheff
at your service!
Ringo just got his cast off,
where are you?
DORIS: On the stairs.
Sorry, what?
I fell. I was trying to change
the battery in the smoke detector.
Oh, my god. Are you okay?
I just (GASPING)
Jesus.
Okay, okay. Don't move.
I don't think I can.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Ooh, cheese. Can I have some?
Mm, sorry. These are mine.
Wow, you hungry?
Starving.
You okay?
Alright, this isn't about cheese.
It's about the dancing!
He was really impressing Lara,
and then you waltzed over
and stole his moment!
What do you mean, moment?
You know, when they see each other
And their hearts burst open
to embrace the other's soul!
Yeah, or we go for
bubble tea or something.
I don't think that was your moment.
Believe me, I know.
I had someone special.
When our eyes met, we had a moment,
Then my wife found out and bam!
That was the worst moment.
So, you know, don't try to force it.
Hey, look! There's more cheese!
(SIRENS BEEPING)
Hi, Travis, it's me again
calling about your mom.
We're still in emerge
and it looks like Doris
might need an X-ray.
All cause of him.
If he'd just fix the goddamn
smoke alarm like he said he would
Anyway, call me back, if you can.
Like that's gonna happen.
Look, Doris, if you ever
need anything you can call me.
I could use a rye and ginger.
Oh, finally! A doctor.
Nurse.
Oh, right. Sexist. Always learning.
My friend's not up on the times.
Oh, only family back here.
Oh, I'm her daughter.
And my best friend. (GROANING)
Oh, here. Let me help you.
Oh, you're a good daughter.
I should put you in my will.
At least I'd know my money'd
be going to a good cause.
Oh, if I'd known you'd be doing that,
I'd have driven here slower!
Okay, we'll need some X-rays,
assuming you're not pregnant.
No, but let's see how the day goes.
Mom loves a hot doctor Nurse. Sorry.
Oh, can you check to see if
I put my health card back?
You bet, mom.
I get it.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
Crap!
Hey.
Hi, Shannon. We're all just
admiring your power move.
Is parking okay?
No, no. Parking is fine, it's just
I'm just going to pop you on
speaker with Evelyn and Darnay.
BOTH: Hi, Shannon.
Can I start you a latte?
Oh, sure, it's just I'm at the hospital.
- BOTH: Oh, no!
- TONYA: Are you alright?
I'm fine. Doris fell.
Who? A volunteer.
Liability nightmare.
Well, it happened at home.
We're just waiting to see a doctor.
Her son's not answering
and her smoke alarm's broken.
Huh, 'cause I had three sitters fall
through, and you know what I did?
She brought her baby.
(BABY COOING)
I problem solved.
Maybe we can do this on the phone?
Tonya tells me you two go way back.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Maybe we should do this next month.
Impossible, and why did
she say yes to the latte?
We're so sorry about this.
Next time, coffee is on me.
Evelyn and I need to catch up anyway.
Then we should have made these martinis.
I want to hear all
about your leonbergers.
Aw, they're asleep in Darnay's office.
It's a cubicle.
SHANNON: Oh, I love leonbergers.
Is she still on?
Call you later.
Uh, can I help you?
This is a private room.
Yes, my mother's.
Oh, my god. You're
Travis. Her son.
Why are you rifling
through my mother's wallet?
She asked me to find
her health card, and here it is,
Oh, and her organ donor card.
Good for her.
Though I hope we don't, uh, need it.
I had no idea you were her son.
I had no idea it was
any of your business.
It's just,
Doris has never mentioned you.
Yeah, well, uh, she's not
my biggest fan right now.
Well, you weren't
exactly first on the scene.
Oh! Well, you see, I really
wanted to be here sooner,
But somebody had my truck towed.
You threw my map on the ground.
So, you had my truck towed?!
Look, I really think
we should be focusing
on your mom right now.
Yes, I can see that you're doing that,
with her cash and credit cards.
I'll take that, thank you.
I just wanted to
make sure Doris was okay.
Yeah, well, she's not, okay?
I mean, hypertension,
cholesterol, cold hands.
She shouldn't even be
living in that house.
Says the guy who lives in his truck.
I don't live in my truck.
I work in my truck,
And sometimes I nap in my truck.
You know what? You don't know anything.
I know she's your mother,
and she deserves respect.
Yes, okay, thank you, and with respect,
why don't you go help some puppies
or, oh, I don't know,
get an ambulance towed.
Jesus. Look what the cat dragged in.
Hi, mom. Are you okay?
Sir, only one family member
at a time back here.
Family. Wait.
Why is she back here?
Oh, leave her alone.
She was just trying to help.
I'll let you catch up with your son.
You don't have much time left.
Excuse me?
Because he's probably illegally parked.
I appreciate what you're doing,
but I don't think it's going to work.
Are you kidding?
Step up, centre stage,
STEP UP 2: the streets.
Good dancing turns people into heroes.
Soon Paul will be
dancing in your shadow!
Just one thing.
Promise not to fall in love with me.
Joy, I'm really not
When people start dancing,
hearts start prancing.
Fine, I promise,
but you have to do the same.
(LAUGHING) Okay.
But, yes, I promise.
(SPEAKING IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT)
Then a bit of musicality, please!
That's from strictly ballroom.
Sounds old. Stay focused.
Okay, so, according to this,
we start with a side step.
Slow, slow, quick-quick-slow.
No, no. Less slither, more hip.
Switch your weight on your feet.
Here. Ready?
Slow, slow, quick-quick-slow.
This is wrong, isn't it?
PAUL: Completely wrong.
It's less like marching in place
and more like you really gotta pee.
May I?
Okay, but you have to
promise Kristian something.
Yeah?
I think we're good.
Here we go. And one, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha. That's good.
♪
SHANNON: Knock-knock.
No, I haven't had a poo yet.
It's me.
People here are obsessed with my bowels.
Well, these won't help that,
but they're for you.
Signed by everyone at the shelter.
Lots of woofs and meows.
Aw, you're sweet.
I also have something else for you,
or, should I say, someone else.
Come here, Ringo.
Oh, Ringo! Oh, look at you.
Jumping up on that leg.
You're putting me to shame.
We were hoping you'd be home by now.
How are you feeling?
I stood up today,
I mean, that's something.
Don't mean to break up
the party, but no pets allowed.
Aw, come on Franny, how could
you kick out a cutie like this?
He's a rescue from Mexico.
Only exceptions are therapy dogs.
Also, he's a therapy dog.
At least he's got you sitting up.
Maybe we could go for a walk later.
Good luck.
My own nurse betting against me.
Maybe we'll see the bathroom later.
Ooh. Potty party, woo-woo!
(CHUCKLING)
It's too much. I know.
♪
Okay?
You ready? Oh, yeah.
Oh man, love this song.
There it is.
Hey, anyone else feeling this?
Yeah! Turn it up, Paul.
Sorry, I'm on a call
with the leash guys.
Tell them it's party time!
Yeah, so we'll get three doubles
and a martingale.
Uh-oh, is this another dance par-tay?
I'm gonna have to call you back.
The bozos at work are goin' nuts again.
Uh, we need better tunes.
No! Don't touch it, Nikki!
(SCOFFING) that works too.
Hey, looking good, k-cup.
Maybe we should wait. We should wait.
We can't party until everyone's here.
Is everyone here?!
Okay, is this a shelter or a rave?
May I?
Of course.
Yes!
♪
Whoa, babe!
Ravi, we were just
Dancing, no, I love it.
Such free spirits.
Though, I can't get you
on the dance floor much.
Wow, that's, uh, very close dancing.
That's not a sanctioned move.
It'll come, kid.
Well then
Shall we?
Thought you'd never ask.
Oh my gosh, I promised
I wouldn't fall in love.
What?
♪
Nice moves.
I was just I don't know.
Uh, I'm pretty busy.
Clearly. I'll make this quick.
What's that?
First my mother's purse,
now her savings.
What are you talking about?
You brainwashed my mother into
writing you a big fat cheque.
Says she wants the shelter
in her will now.
Oh my gosh, I thought she was joking.
I obviously want what's best for Doris.
Right, just like
the one-handed sommelier
Wanted what's best for
deputy detective sheff.
I'm sorry, did you read
one of the mascarpone murders?
I was at the hospital for seven hours.
And do you want a medal.
Ringo put in more time than that.
Look, whatever. The book's trash.
It was Morag, the cousin, who did it.
Why would you
I knew you didn't finish it!
(GROANING)
(PAUL LAUGHING) Cha-cha-cha!
Is Ringo ready?
He was born ready.
I mean, other than the heart defect,
but he's got this.
Ross, I have a date
and happy hour ends at 7:00.
I'm not paying full price
for some guy named Greg.
Okay, Kristian?
Ta-da!
Gran-paws!
Did you two rehearse this?
It's an outreach program.
We take our older dogs to visit
seniors in homes and hospitals.
When I took Ringo to visit Doris,
the patients couldn't get enough of him.
One woman remembered who she was
for the first time in six months.
She was wrong, but the joy, very real.
Plus, it would be great for our
older buddies to get out more,
since they rarely get adopted.
Aw.
Oh, my god, was that me?
You love it!
Well, certainly better
than that email I got
From Travis Reed.
Truck guy?
He's an idiot.
Says you conned his mother
out of her life savings,
And then towed him.
I towed him first.
Well, he CC'd the board.
Add that to your missed meeting
with Tonya and not a great look.
Doris needed me.
That's our job, isn't it?
Helping this community?
Otherwise, why are we doing this?
Because it's unsanitary to have
strays roaming the streets,
And who else is going to store them?
And That thing you said about helping
And sad people and
Aw.
Aw! We're all saying it.
Okay, my date's waiting.
Aw!
No, I've seen the guy.
He is definitely not "aw".