Sunday Night at the Palladium (2014) s02e01 Episode Script
Season 2, Episode 1
1 Tonight, at the home of variety .
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and much more and your host is Bradley Walsh It's Sunday Night At The Palladium.
(CHEERING) Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host: - Bradley Walsh.
- (CHEERING) We are back, folks.
It's the one and only Sunday Night At The Palladium.
Welcome to the home of variety and welcome to the house of Madness.
(CHEERING) Father wears his Sunday best Mother's tired, she needs a rest The kids are playing up, downstairs Sister's sighing in her sleep Ah-ah-ah-ah Brother's got a date to keep He can't hang around Where? Oh, yeah! Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Our house, it has a crowd There's always something happening It's usually quite loud And our mum, she's so house-proud Nothing ever slows her down A mess is not allowed Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Father gets up late for work Mother has to iron his shirt Then she sends the kids to school Sees them off with a small kiss Ah-ah-ah! She's the one they're going to miss in lots of ways It's shock! It's CJ Foreman playing on guitar.
- (WHISTLING) - Hello there.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Whoa! Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Father wears his Sunday best Mother's tired, she needs a rest The kids are playing up, downstairs And sister's sighing in her sleep Ah-ah-ha-ah! Brother's got a date to keep, He can't hang around Where? Oh, yeah! Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Our house That was where we used to sleep Our house In the middle of our Street (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) - It's like you've never been away.
- It is, innit? Madness, everyone! - (WHISTLING) - Thanks, lads.
- (CHEERING) - I'm looking for my grandaughter, Sydney.
- You're looking for your grandaughter, Sydney? - Up here! - Whereabouts? - You can't sling Maltesers up the (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Sydney, sling us one of them, love! (LAUGHTER) Who else have we got in? Where are you from, you guys? - Nottingham.
- Lovely to see you.
- What do you do, sir? - Florist.
A florist.
Really? - Yeah, I am.
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
- OK.
- What's your favourite type of flower? - Well, you obviously.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING) - Is this a wind-up, this show, tonight? - (LAUGHTER) Now we have a special treat for all the family right now, including the ones with four legs.
Yes, prepare to sit, roll over and go crazy, folks, for the winners of America's Got Talent: the Olate Dogs! (CHEERING) (DANCE MUSIC) AUDIENCE: Aaaaah! (CHEERING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING) (LAUGHTER AND CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (APPLAUSE) What about that? Fantastic! There you are! The Olate Dogs, folks! Now, I need a bit of help, tonight.
One of my favourite acts has a bit of a problem.
Magician Tony Van Helsing has flown in from Las Vegas, but his assistant has been held up in Berlin.
So, er, we need an assistant.
- (CHEERING) - Yes.
All right.
Now, put your hands up those of you that would fancy being in showbiz, for one night.
- Put your hands up.
- (CHEERING) An assistant to a Las Vegas illusionist.
Hang on.
There's someone down here.
I wanna have a word with someone.
Thank you, John.
Let me do this down here.
Let me find out Thank you, girls.
I've got to find out Hello, darling.
- All right? - Oh, wow! (GIGGLES) - Wow! Wow! - (LAUGHTER) Wow! (LAUGHS) What's your name? - My name's Joan.
- Joan.
OK, Joan.
Now, erm - Can I be honest? - Yeah? What you tapping me for, love? - What's wrong? - (LAUGHTER) - I wanted to touch you.
- Sorry? - I wanted to touch you.
You're gorgeous.
(LAUGHTER) Do you know what? - I think you're gorgeous too.
- Do you? - I really do.
- Would you like a kiss? - Ooh! - OK, here you are.
- (CHEERING) - Ooooh! Now, then, do you wanna be a Las Vegas showgirl? - Sure do.
- Come on.
Follow me, Joan.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Joan, everyone! How about that? How about that? Right.
- Now, this is Joan.
Where are you from, darling? - Canvey Island, Essex.
(CHEERING) Joan, can I ask how old you are? I don't like to say, but I'm 92.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (WOLF WHISTLING) Go and get yourself ready.
We'll put you in a costume.
Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Canvey Island, to the Sunday Night At The Palladium, it's Joan.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Well, we'll see more of Joan when she's ready.
We're going to take a short break, but we'll be right back with the fabulous Olly Murs, the brilliant Alfie Boe (CHEERING) .
.
and with a one-off exclusive performance just for us here at the Palladium, we have ten years' worth of Billy Elliots, who'll sing a song.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) - (CHEERING) - Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium.
Now, ten years ago, as a treat for my 21st birthday - I was - (LAUGHTER) - Shut it, love.
.
.
I was taken to see one of the best British stage musicals ever.
- Billy Elliot, folks is - (CHEERING) Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Billy Elliot is the story of a working-class lad from the northeast, who fought against the odds to follow his dream of becoming a dancer.
To celebrate its 10th anniversary, tonight, we bring you a very special performance.
23 boys that have played the lead role, from the very first to the current stars, are about to be reunited on this stage.
Please give it up to the Billy Elliots! (CHEERING) WOMAN: Just one more thing.
Can I just ask you, Billy? What does it feel like, when you're dancing? I can't really explain it I haven't got the words It's a feeling that you can't control I suppose it's like forgetting Losing who you are But, at the same time Something makes you whole It's like that there's music Playing in your ear But the music is impossible Impossible to hear And then I feel it move me Like a burning deep inside Something bursting me wide open Impossible to hide And suddenly, I'm flying Flying like a bird Like electricity Electricity Sparks inside me And I'm free I'm Free! (CHEERING) (DANCE MUSIC VERSION OF SWAN LAKE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) (CHEERING) Move on, dancing boy! It's time for the next generation! - Sick! - Woo! (JAZZ MUSIC) Woo! Oh, yeah! Woo! Oi! Oi! Oi! - We've got to have something better than that.
- Bring on some backup! - (CHEERING) - Five, six, seven, eight! Ooh, yeah! - Come on! - (CHEERING) One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Finish! (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) Take a bow, lads.
How about that? (CHEERING) Lads, let me tell you, sensational.
Thank you so much.
- Billy, thanks very much.
- (LAUGHTER) Cheers, Billy.
(LAUGHS) Thanks, Bill.
Billy, well done.
Thank you Dave.
(LAUGHTER) So what about that? Absolutely brilliant.
Now I've got to find out who was the first Billy? Who was the first? Oooh, hey! Round of applause.
(CHEERING) All right, let me come in there.
Sorry, lads, my apologies.
- What's your name? - Liam Mower.
- Liam Mower.
- OK, Liam.
- (CHEERING) - You've got some fans in.
How long ago was that, 10 years? Yeah, I was 12 years old, when I first got cast.
So what are you doing now, Liam? - I'm working with choreographer Matthew Bourne.
- (CHEERING) The brilliant Matthew Bourne.
Sensational.
OK.
Let me find out.
Who's the latest Billy out of us? - Oh, right down the front.
OK, there you are.
- (CHEERING) - What's your name? - Thomas Hazelby.
How did you get the job? Did someone come and see you? - It was an audition at Leeds and I just went.
- (CHEERING) - You went and you got it.
- Aye.
- Fantastic.
- How old are you? - I'm ten.
- Ten.
Brilliant stuff.
- (CHEERING) Brilliant stuff.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, Liam, Thomas and all the Billy Elliots.
(CHEERING) Did you enjoy that, out there? - (CHEERING) - Fantastic.
Hello, in the Royal box.
Did you enjoy that? (Brilliant.
) I can't hear a word they're saying.
Like a couple of Muppets up there going, 'All right, yeah.
' - (LAUGHTER) - OK.
Hang on.
Hang on.
I'm gonna have a chat with you.
- (LAUGHTER) - You didn't know this was gonna happen, did you? Neither did I, to be fair.
- (LAUGHTER) - OK.
Now that's a microphone.
- What's your name? - Vicky.
- Lovely to see you, Vicky.
- I'll just move the microphone across.
What's your name? - Pete.
- Lovely to see you.
- Nice to see you.
- Whereabouts are you from? - Essex.
(CHEERING) Who have you come to see tonight? - Madness! - Madness.
- (CHEERING) - Big, big Madness fans.
- We love Madness, yeah.
- So how come you ended up in the box? - We got tickets (LAUGHTER) .
.
like the rest.
(LAUGHTER) S-Seriously, some people, you just want to You got tickets.
So who sorted them out for you? - Did you have? - Our son.
- Is he with the theatre? - Just here, tonight.
- Oh, is he? - Yeah.
- What's he, one of the Billy Elliots? - Is he a Billy Elliot? - Oh, no, he's not a Billy.
No, he's an Olly.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) But we're here to see Madness.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) Hang on.
- Are you seriously Olly's mum and dad? - Yes.
- Yes.
Oh, well, that's brilliant.
I didn't realise.
- Have a wonderful, wonderful time.
- Thank you.
- Now, do you like comedy? - Yes.
Good.
I'm glad you like comedy, because it's time for my favourite brand of comedy.
Yes, it's Jo Brand.
(CHEERING) JESSIE J, ARIANA GRANDE & NICKI MINAJ: Bang Bang (WHISTLING) Thank you very much.
Thanks very much for all the whistling.
- Some of it ironic, I'm sure, if not all of it.
- (LAUGHTER) But it's a pleasure to be here.
Don't look so worried down there, I'm not gonna fall off.
(LAUGHTER) You seem really nice and friendly, which is great, cos I don't always get friendly audiences.
I do a few corporate gigs, where they don't know who the comic's gonna be and when I come onstage, there is an audible sigh of despair.
- (LAUGHTER) - If I'm honest, there is.
Last year, I was down in Southampton, performing for 600 builders, right.
And, as I came on, I could tell they were looking at me thinking, 'What on earth can a fat, menopausal woman possibly have to tell us about building?' And I said to them, 'You know, you'd be surprised because my dad is a structural engineer.
My brother's a quantity surveyor and my husband's a plank, so' (LAUGHTER) I know a lot.
Yes, I know a lot.
Now, I've been married for a very long time.
Have we got many married couples in tonight? Yes! - The 'Yes' of despair.
- (LAUGHTER) Cos it's hard to keep the magic going, isn't it? We've been married quite a long time.
We bicker quite a lot.
We bicker all the time about stupid things like what side of the bed he goes on, cos he doesn't like it underneath.
(LAUGHTER) - (APPLAUSE) - I don't know if you know this, but couples that argue a lot have more sex.
Just not with each other.
(LAUGHTER) And now I'm sailing my ship through middle age.
That is lovely cos what happens to women in middle age, right, is your hair on your head goes bla-bla-bla, like that.
And goes like that on your chin, right.
- (LAUGHTER) - Look forward to it.
I went into my local pub the other day and everyone burst into a spontaneous round of applause.
They thought I was Brian Blessed.
(LAUGHTER) Now, people think I like swimming, cos I did a series a few years ago on swimming.
I don't I don't even like paddling, right.
That's why I like single-sex toilets.
(LAUGHTER) No, I haven't been swimming for a year.
I've not been near water for ages.
The longest I've spent in water in the last few years is when I went to Paris for the weekend and got wedged in a bidet for four hours.
(LAUGHTER) Then the time before that was when the vicar wet my head in the font.
Ruined my bloody wedding, that did.
(LAUGHTER) I recently did a sponsored swim in the sea, right, and I was a little bit worried about what I was going to wear and how I was going to make myself look decent in a cossie.
Now, I wanted to wear something like Pamela Anderson used to wear, in Baywatch.
(LAUGHTER) A blank expression.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) I decided the least I can do is sort out my bikini line, so it doesn't catch on some rocks, so (LAUGHTER) .
.
I plaited that and we were away.
(LAUGHTER) Now, I must say, you are a gorgeous audience, but some of you may be thinking, 'Jo, my partner's a bit lardy.
What shall I do?' Well, let me finish by giving you some advice.
If your lover has put on a little bit of weight, get them to walk three miles in the morning and three miles at night and, by the end of the week, the fact git will be 42 miles away.
(LAUGHTER) I hope that's enough.
Lovely to see you.
Thanks for having me.
Good night.
(CHEERING) Jo Brand, everyone! (WHISTLING) I'm so looking forward to this next act.
Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Las Vegas, it's the incredible - Tony Van Helsing.
- (CHEERING) QUEEN: It's A Kind Of Magic Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
(CHEERING) Bradley, join me onstage.
(CHEERING) Ladies and gentlemen, for this one night, here at the London Palladium, with Tony all the way from Vegas and all the way from over there, will you please welcome Joan? (CHEERING) (DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC) (WHISTLING) Lovely to see you, Joanie.
- Are you ready, darling? - I am.
- Let me take your cape.
Oh, hang on, the last time we did that, a woman the same age as you fell backwards down some stairs.
- (LAUGHTER) - OK, leave it! Leave it! Leave it! Unnecessary.
(LAUGHTER) Tony, what are we doing? Bradley, tonight, it's time to saw a lady in half.
We're sawing a lady in half! OK, Joan.
Oh, that's nice, matching with that.
That's really good.
- (LAUGHTER) - OK.
Thank you very much.
- Joanie, come on, darling.
- Bradley, let's get her in the box.
- Get her in the box.
Are you up for this, Joan? - Hope so.
Hope so.
All right, love.
We've got to lift you up.
Get in there, girl.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Hang on.
- (LAUGHTER) - Hang on, Joan.
Joanie, get in there! Get in there.
- A bit further.
- Further.
- You've got to move up, Joanie.
- You've got to move up, love.
- (LAUGHTER) (GIGGLES) You've got to move up.
Take your hat off, Joanie.
Take your hat off.
That's it, baby.
Hang on.
Hang on, something's come off.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) Joanie! Tony, help me up with Joan.
- Oh, OK.
- (LAUGHTER) Oh, we're in.
We're in.
Put your legs up, Joanie, darling.
- (LAUGHTER) - You nearly had my eye out there, love.
(LAUGHTER) - Sorry? - Seal the box.
Seal the box.
OK.
OK.
Seal the box.
- Are you all right, darling? - Ooh! Ooh! Ooh, I think so.
- You think so? - (LAUGHTER) Selfie.
- Selfie.
- (LAUGHTER) Joanie.
Joanie, look up, eh! Tony! OK, that's all right.
You're all right.
It's all good.
You're all right.
- So, Bradley - (WHIRRS) OK.
Here you go.
Good luck.
Joanie, I wish you well.
(WHIRRING) - Good luck.
- (WHIRRING) Brilliant.
Let's have a look.
- Are you all right, Joan? - Yes.
Are you sure? Do you want a cake? I've got some cakes over there.
Do you want a nice cream horn? Leave it.
OK.
Take her pulse, Bradley.
Here you go, Joanie.
Give everyone a wave.
Are you still with us, love? - Right.
That's it.
Good.
- Joan You're now half the woman you used to be.
Oh, wow! Look at that, everyone.
(APPLAUSE) Look at that.
Unbelievable.
Joanie, wiggle your feet, darling.
(LAUGHTER) Very good.
OK.
What do we do now? We put Joanie back together again.
Put Joanie back together? OK, let's do that.
I wish you well.
Good luck.
Joan, you've been brilliant.
OK.
Joanie, up you come, darling.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Ladies and gentlemen -- Tony Van Helsing and Joan! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Come on, Joanie.
I'll see you down, darling.
- Ooh.
- That's it.
That's it.
Keep going.
You were sensational.
I can't believe you did all that.
That was absolutely brilliant.
(CHEERING) You're the talk of the town.
- (LAUGHING) - Oh, my! - Thanks, Nan.
- (LAUGHTER) So it's a moment we've been waiting for Well, especially up there in the Royal Box.
What can I say? He's the Essex boy who's done so good.
With his single, Seasons, it's Olly Murs! (CHEERING) Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Baby girl with the broken smile Would you mind if I stayed a while? And if you're cold, I could light your fire - If that's what you want - If that's what you want I admit that I've done some wrong But those wrongs helped me write this song And through it all I figured out where I belong Right by your side, right by your side They say that hearts don't lie The head might try, but it won't be right You tell me what you feel inside Tonight, tonight, tonight Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Baby girl, let your hair hang down And if we're lost, baby, let's get found And when the world is flipping upside down - Let's make it right - Let's make it right They say that hearts don't lie The head might try, but it won't be right You tell me what you feel inside Tonight, tonight, tonight Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason.
Palladium! Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Whoa-oh, whoa-oh - Yours, yours, yours - For every season Whoa Sing! - Whoa! - Whoa! - Yeah - Yeah - Scream! - (SCREAMING) Sing.
Winter, summer, spring or fall I'll be on the line, waiting for your call.
Sing! Winter, summer, spring or fall I'll be on the line, waiting for your call Cos I'll be on the line, baby, on the line, baby Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Whoa-oh, whoa-oh I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Oh (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- Olly Murs, everyone! - (CHEERING) - Thank you.
- I've got to say -- he's no Madness, is he? - No.
Time for a break, but still to come, we have a special top-of-the-bill duet and - The fabulous Alfie Boe.
- The fabulous Alfie Boe.
See you in two ticks.
Olly Welcome back to Sunday Night at the Palladium.
The first time I saw this next act, it left both me and them speechless.
Please welcome the hilarious Men In Coats.
(CHEERING) (BIG BAND MUSIC) (APPLAUSE) (APPLAUSE) (MARIACHI MUSIC) (APPLAUSE) (APPLAUSE) (GENTLE BALLET MUSIC) (THUD) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (LOONEY TUNES THEME) (LION ROARING) (SQUEAKING) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Men In Coats, ladies and gentlemen! (CHEERING) Thanks, guys.
Men In Coats, everyone.
Thank you very much indeed.
Well As part of The Who's 50th anniversary celebrations, one of our best-loved tenors has collaborated with the legendary Pete Townshend in a new, orchestral version of The Who's Quadrophenia.
Please welcome, with a world-exclusive performance, singing Love Reign O'er Me, ladies and gentlemen, my old mate, Alfie Boe! (CHEERING) Only love can make it rain The way the beach is kissed by the sea Only love can make it rain Like the sweat of lovers layin' in the fields Love Reign o'er me Love Reign o'er me Rain on me, rain on me On me On the dry and dusty road The nights we spend apart alone I need to get back home to cool, cool rain I can't sleep and I lie awake and think The nights are hot and black as ink Oh, God, I need a drink of cool, cool rain Love Reign o'er me Love Reign o'er me Reign o'er me, reign o'er me O'er me Love (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Alfie Boe, ladies and gentlemen! (CHEERING) What about that? And now it's time for something very exciting.
Folks, get ready, because it is our brand-new quiz, Star Of The Show! (CHEERING) There are 2,200 people in this audience, and two of you will battle it out for the chance to win an amazing prize.
But who will it be? Well, when you came in tonight, you were each given a light-up wrist-band, like this.
Now, we are going to light them all up and then randomly eliminate them, until we are left with two people, whose wrist-bands are still lit.
On they go.
Let's see.
Oh! Relight My Fire OK.
Some of them will be going out.
Let's see.
Oh, they're slowly going out.
Let's have a look.
Oh, hang on.
We've got one left.
So, we have a wrist-band there and one down here.
Excellent stuff.
And one there.
How are you? - OK.
Your name is? - Tracy.
- Good to see you.
Shout out your name, please.
- Ian! OK, Ian.
Congratulations.
After the break, Ian and Tracy will fight for that wonderful prize.
Plus a very special duet for our grand finale.
Don't go anywhere.
We'll see you in a moment here at the Palladium.
Thank you very much.
Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium.
It's time for our brand-new quiz, Star Of The Show! (CHEERING) I am joined by Ian and Tracy, who are ready to play.
- Tracy, you're our red player.
How are you? - Very well.
- What do you do? Where are you from? - I'm from Northampton - (CHEERING) - And I'm a colonic irrigationist.
- (LAUGHTER) Right.
If you win, I won't be shaking your hand.
Ian, where are you from? I'm from Essex originally, but I now live in Cambridgeshire, and I'm a company director.
Excellent.
Now, here's how the game works.
Our star up here is made of five star lights.
I'm going to ask as many questions as I can in 60 seconds, all related to tonight's show.
Get a question right, and the star light will light up in your colour.
Get it wrong, and it lights up in your opponent's colour.
I will keep asking questions until the time is up, and whoever has the most star lights lit after 60 seconds will play for a magnificent prize, courtesy of icelolly.
com.
It's a luxury holiday to Bermuda.
(APPLAUSE) Fingers on the buzzers.
Your time starts now.
Who's the lead singer of The Who? - Roger Daltrey.
- Correct.
What high-trousered judge mentored Olly Murs on the X Factor? - Simon Cowell.
- Correct.
Which celebrity diving show was Jo Brand a judge on? - Splash.
- Yes, correct.
Billy Elliot, the musical, celebrates which anniversary this year? - Ten.
- Correct.
What family of instruments do trumpets belong to? - (LAUGHTER) - Quick! - Brass.
- Correct.
Complete the Olly Murs hit: Dance With Me - Tonight.
- Correct.
That stays blue.
A bad dancer has two left what? - Feet.
- Feet.
- Correct for you.
From which Who album did Alfie's song come tonight? - Quadrophenia.
- Correct.
That stays blue.
Was Billy Elliot's dad a gold miner or a coalminer? - Coalminer.
- Correct.
Our comedians have made us LOL tonight, but what does LOL stand for? - Laugh out loud.
- Correct.
The winner tonight is blue! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Which means, Tracy, I am so sorry.
Please give her a round of applause, as she goes back to her seat.
OK, Ian.
In you come.
All right.
Now, Ian.
There is just one question standing between you and that holiday in Bermuda.
All right.
Tonight's headline act is Madness.
They made which hat famous? Trilby.
- You're saying Trilby? - 100 per cent.
- It's the correct answer! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Congratulations.
And to bring on the prize (CHEERING) - There you go.
- Thank you.
Legend.
Also, you have your souvenir poster, and there's a space there for your name.
- Your ticket to Bermuda.
- Thank you, sir.
And I've also got two VIP tickets to the new Madness tour.
(CHEERING) Suggs, we'll see you in a bit.
That's Madness, everyone! (CHEERING) Suggs will go and get ready right now.
What a night this has been! Sunday Night At The Palladium.
You have been watching the Olate Dogs, Jo Brand, Billy Elliot, Men In Coats, Olly Murs and the one and only Alfie Boe, but right now, to close the show, it's the wonderful Madness! Till next time, good night! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It isn't half dark back there.
I never thought I'd miss you Half as much as I do And I never thought I'd feel this way The way I feel about you As soon as I wake up Every night, every day I know that it's you I need To take the blues away It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love Nothing more, nothing less Love is the best Oh, yes Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls The very proud parents.
I'd like to introduce you to your son Olly.
(CHEERING) He's been so busy, we thought you'd like to see him in the flesh.
As soon as I wake up, every night, every day I know that it's you I need to take the blues away Come on -- sing with us! It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love Do you know what I'm saying? - It must be love, love, love - Come on! It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love Cos Olly, it's nothing more, nothing less Madness is the best! - (CHEERING) - Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Good night.
It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love
.
and much more and your host is Bradley Walsh It's Sunday Night At The Palladium.
(CHEERING) Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host: - Bradley Walsh.
- (CHEERING) We are back, folks.
It's the one and only Sunday Night At The Palladium.
Welcome to the home of variety and welcome to the house of Madness.
(CHEERING) Father wears his Sunday best Mother's tired, she needs a rest The kids are playing up, downstairs Sister's sighing in her sleep Ah-ah-ah-ah Brother's got a date to keep He can't hang around Where? Oh, yeah! Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Our house, it has a crowd There's always something happening It's usually quite loud And our mum, she's so house-proud Nothing ever slows her down A mess is not allowed Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Father gets up late for work Mother has to iron his shirt Then she sends the kids to school Sees them off with a small kiss Ah-ah-ah! She's the one they're going to miss in lots of ways It's shock! It's CJ Foreman playing on guitar.
- (WHISTLING) - Hello there.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Whoa! Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Father wears his Sunday best Mother's tired, she needs a rest The kids are playing up, downstairs And sister's sighing in her sleep Ah-ah-ha-ah! Brother's got a date to keep, He can't hang around Where? Oh, yeah! Our house In the middle of our street Our house In the middle of our Our house That was where we used to sleep Our house In the middle of our Street (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) - It's like you've never been away.
- It is, innit? Madness, everyone! - (WHISTLING) - Thanks, lads.
- (CHEERING) - I'm looking for my grandaughter, Sydney.
- You're looking for your grandaughter, Sydney? - Up here! - Whereabouts? - You can't sling Maltesers up the (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Sydney, sling us one of them, love! (LAUGHTER) Who else have we got in? Where are you from, you guys? - Nottingham.
- Lovely to see you.
- What do you do, sir? - Florist.
A florist.
Really? - Yeah, I am.
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
- OK.
- What's your favourite type of flower? - Well, you obviously.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING) - Is this a wind-up, this show, tonight? - (LAUGHTER) Now we have a special treat for all the family right now, including the ones with four legs.
Yes, prepare to sit, roll over and go crazy, folks, for the winners of America's Got Talent: the Olate Dogs! (CHEERING) (DANCE MUSIC) AUDIENCE: Aaaaah! (CHEERING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING) (LAUGHTER AND CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (APPLAUSE) What about that? Fantastic! There you are! The Olate Dogs, folks! Now, I need a bit of help, tonight.
One of my favourite acts has a bit of a problem.
Magician Tony Van Helsing has flown in from Las Vegas, but his assistant has been held up in Berlin.
So, er, we need an assistant.
- (CHEERING) - Yes.
All right.
Now, put your hands up those of you that would fancy being in showbiz, for one night.
- Put your hands up.
- (CHEERING) An assistant to a Las Vegas illusionist.
Hang on.
There's someone down here.
I wanna have a word with someone.
Thank you, John.
Let me do this down here.
Let me find out Thank you, girls.
I've got to find out Hello, darling.
- All right? - Oh, wow! (GIGGLES) - Wow! Wow! - (LAUGHTER) Wow! (LAUGHS) What's your name? - My name's Joan.
- Joan.
OK, Joan.
Now, erm - Can I be honest? - Yeah? What you tapping me for, love? - What's wrong? - (LAUGHTER) - I wanted to touch you.
- Sorry? - I wanted to touch you.
You're gorgeous.
(LAUGHTER) Do you know what? - I think you're gorgeous too.
- Do you? - I really do.
- Would you like a kiss? - Ooh! - OK, here you are.
- (CHEERING) - Ooooh! Now, then, do you wanna be a Las Vegas showgirl? - Sure do.
- Come on.
Follow me, Joan.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Joan, everyone! How about that? How about that? Right.
- Now, this is Joan.
Where are you from, darling? - Canvey Island, Essex.
(CHEERING) Joan, can I ask how old you are? I don't like to say, but I'm 92.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (WOLF WHISTLING) Go and get yourself ready.
We'll put you in a costume.
Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Canvey Island, to the Sunday Night At The Palladium, it's Joan.
(CHEERING) (WHISTLING) Well, we'll see more of Joan when she's ready.
We're going to take a short break, but we'll be right back with the fabulous Olly Murs, the brilliant Alfie Boe (CHEERING) .
.
and with a one-off exclusive performance just for us here at the Palladium, we have ten years' worth of Billy Elliots, who'll sing a song.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) - (CHEERING) - Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium.
Now, ten years ago, as a treat for my 21st birthday - I was - (LAUGHTER) - Shut it, love.
.
.
I was taken to see one of the best British stage musicals ever.
- Billy Elliot, folks is - (CHEERING) Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Billy Elliot is the story of a working-class lad from the northeast, who fought against the odds to follow his dream of becoming a dancer.
To celebrate its 10th anniversary, tonight, we bring you a very special performance.
23 boys that have played the lead role, from the very first to the current stars, are about to be reunited on this stage.
Please give it up to the Billy Elliots! (CHEERING) WOMAN: Just one more thing.
Can I just ask you, Billy? What does it feel like, when you're dancing? I can't really explain it I haven't got the words It's a feeling that you can't control I suppose it's like forgetting Losing who you are But, at the same time Something makes you whole It's like that there's music Playing in your ear But the music is impossible Impossible to hear And then I feel it move me Like a burning deep inside Something bursting me wide open Impossible to hide And suddenly, I'm flying Flying like a bird Like electricity Electricity Sparks inside me And I'm free I'm Free! (CHEERING) (DANCE MUSIC VERSION OF SWAN LAKE) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) (CHEERING) Move on, dancing boy! It's time for the next generation! - Sick! - Woo! (JAZZ MUSIC) Woo! Oh, yeah! Woo! Oi! Oi! Oi! - We've got to have something better than that.
- Bring on some backup! - (CHEERING) - Five, six, seven, eight! Ooh, yeah! - Come on! - (CHEERING) One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Finish! (CHEERING) (WHISTLING) (CHEERING) Take a bow, lads.
How about that? (CHEERING) Lads, let me tell you, sensational.
Thank you so much.
- Billy, thanks very much.
- (LAUGHTER) Cheers, Billy.
(LAUGHS) Thanks, Bill.
Billy, well done.
Thank you Dave.
(LAUGHTER) So what about that? Absolutely brilliant.
Now I've got to find out who was the first Billy? Who was the first? Oooh, hey! Round of applause.
(CHEERING) All right, let me come in there.
Sorry, lads, my apologies.
- What's your name? - Liam Mower.
- Liam Mower.
- OK, Liam.
- (CHEERING) - You've got some fans in.
How long ago was that, 10 years? Yeah, I was 12 years old, when I first got cast.
So what are you doing now, Liam? - I'm working with choreographer Matthew Bourne.
- (CHEERING) The brilliant Matthew Bourne.
Sensational.
OK.
Let me find out.
Who's the latest Billy out of us? - Oh, right down the front.
OK, there you are.
- (CHEERING) - What's your name? - Thomas Hazelby.
How did you get the job? Did someone come and see you? - It was an audition at Leeds and I just went.
- (CHEERING) - You went and you got it.
- Aye.
- Fantastic.
- How old are you? - I'm ten.
- Ten.
Brilliant stuff.
- (CHEERING) Brilliant stuff.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, Liam, Thomas and all the Billy Elliots.
(CHEERING) Did you enjoy that, out there? - (CHEERING) - Fantastic.
Hello, in the Royal box.
Did you enjoy that? (Brilliant.
) I can't hear a word they're saying.
Like a couple of Muppets up there going, 'All right, yeah.
' - (LAUGHTER) - OK.
Hang on.
Hang on.
I'm gonna have a chat with you.
- (LAUGHTER) - You didn't know this was gonna happen, did you? Neither did I, to be fair.
- (LAUGHTER) - OK.
Now that's a microphone.
- What's your name? - Vicky.
- Lovely to see you, Vicky.
- I'll just move the microphone across.
What's your name? - Pete.
- Lovely to see you.
- Nice to see you.
- Whereabouts are you from? - Essex.
(CHEERING) Who have you come to see tonight? - Madness! - Madness.
- (CHEERING) - Big, big Madness fans.
- We love Madness, yeah.
- So how come you ended up in the box? - We got tickets (LAUGHTER) .
.
like the rest.
(LAUGHTER) S-Seriously, some people, you just want to You got tickets.
So who sorted them out for you? - Did you have? - Our son.
- Is he with the theatre? - Just here, tonight.
- Oh, is he? - Yeah.
- What's he, one of the Billy Elliots? - Is he a Billy Elliot? - Oh, no, he's not a Billy.
No, he's an Olly.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) But we're here to see Madness.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) Hang on.
- Are you seriously Olly's mum and dad? - Yes.
- Yes.
Oh, well, that's brilliant.
I didn't realise.
- Have a wonderful, wonderful time.
- Thank you.
- Now, do you like comedy? - Yes.
Good.
I'm glad you like comedy, because it's time for my favourite brand of comedy.
Yes, it's Jo Brand.
(CHEERING) JESSIE J, ARIANA GRANDE & NICKI MINAJ: Bang Bang (WHISTLING) Thank you very much.
Thanks very much for all the whistling.
- Some of it ironic, I'm sure, if not all of it.
- (LAUGHTER) But it's a pleasure to be here.
Don't look so worried down there, I'm not gonna fall off.
(LAUGHTER) You seem really nice and friendly, which is great, cos I don't always get friendly audiences.
I do a few corporate gigs, where they don't know who the comic's gonna be and when I come onstage, there is an audible sigh of despair.
- (LAUGHTER) - If I'm honest, there is.
Last year, I was down in Southampton, performing for 600 builders, right.
And, as I came on, I could tell they were looking at me thinking, 'What on earth can a fat, menopausal woman possibly have to tell us about building?' And I said to them, 'You know, you'd be surprised because my dad is a structural engineer.
My brother's a quantity surveyor and my husband's a plank, so' (LAUGHTER) I know a lot.
Yes, I know a lot.
Now, I've been married for a very long time.
Have we got many married couples in tonight? Yes! - The 'Yes' of despair.
- (LAUGHTER) Cos it's hard to keep the magic going, isn't it? We've been married quite a long time.
We bicker quite a lot.
We bicker all the time about stupid things like what side of the bed he goes on, cos he doesn't like it underneath.
(LAUGHTER) - (APPLAUSE) - I don't know if you know this, but couples that argue a lot have more sex.
Just not with each other.
(LAUGHTER) And now I'm sailing my ship through middle age.
That is lovely cos what happens to women in middle age, right, is your hair on your head goes bla-bla-bla, like that.
And goes like that on your chin, right.
- (LAUGHTER) - Look forward to it.
I went into my local pub the other day and everyone burst into a spontaneous round of applause.
They thought I was Brian Blessed.
(LAUGHTER) Now, people think I like swimming, cos I did a series a few years ago on swimming.
I don't I don't even like paddling, right.
That's why I like single-sex toilets.
(LAUGHTER) No, I haven't been swimming for a year.
I've not been near water for ages.
The longest I've spent in water in the last few years is when I went to Paris for the weekend and got wedged in a bidet for four hours.
(LAUGHTER) Then the time before that was when the vicar wet my head in the font.
Ruined my bloody wedding, that did.
(LAUGHTER) I recently did a sponsored swim in the sea, right, and I was a little bit worried about what I was going to wear and how I was going to make myself look decent in a cossie.
Now, I wanted to wear something like Pamela Anderson used to wear, in Baywatch.
(LAUGHTER) A blank expression.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) I decided the least I can do is sort out my bikini line, so it doesn't catch on some rocks, so (LAUGHTER) .
.
I plaited that and we were away.
(LAUGHTER) Now, I must say, you are a gorgeous audience, but some of you may be thinking, 'Jo, my partner's a bit lardy.
What shall I do?' Well, let me finish by giving you some advice.
If your lover has put on a little bit of weight, get them to walk three miles in the morning and three miles at night and, by the end of the week, the fact git will be 42 miles away.
(LAUGHTER) I hope that's enough.
Lovely to see you.
Thanks for having me.
Good night.
(CHEERING) Jo Brand, everyone! (WHISTLING) I'm so looking forward to this next act.
Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Las Vegas, it's the incredible - Tony Van Helsing.
- (CHEERING) QUEEN: It's A Kind Of Magic Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
(CHEERING) Bradley, join me onstage.
(CHEERING) Ladies and gentlemen, for this one night, here at the London Palladium, with Tony all the way from Vegas and all the way from over there, will you please welcome Joan? (CHEERING) (DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC) (WHISTLING) Lovely to see you, Joanie.
- Are you ready, darling? - I am.
- Let me take your cape.
Oh, hang on, the last time we did that, a woman the same age as you fell backwards down some stairs.
- (LAUGHTER) - OK, leave it! Leave it! Leave it! Unnecessary.
(LAUGHTER) Tony, what are we doing? Bradley, tonight, it's time to saw a lady in half.
We're sawing a lady in half! OK, Joan.
Oh, that's nice, matching with that.
That's really good.
- (LAUGHTER) - OK.
Thank you very much.
- Joanie, come on, darling.
- Bradley, let's get her in the box.
- Get her in the box.
Are you up for this, Joan? - Hope so.
Hope so.
All right, love.
We've got to lift you up.
Get in there, girl.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Hang on.
- (LAUGHTER) - Hang on, Joan.
Joanie, get in there! Get in there.
- A bit further.
- Further.
- You've got to move up, Joanie.
- You've got to move up, love.
- (LAUGHTER) (GIGGLES) You've got to move up.
Take your hat off, Joanie.
Take your hat off.
That's it, baby.
Hang on.
Hang on, something's come off.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) Joanie! Tony, help me up with Joan.
- Oh, OK.
- (LAUGHTER) Oh, we're in.
We're in.
Put your legs up, Joanie, darling.
- (LAUGHTER) - You nearly had my eye out there, love.
(LAUGHTER) - Sorry? - Seal the box.
Seal the box.
OK.
OK.
Seal the box.
- Are you all right, darling? - Ooh! Ooh! Ooh, I think so.
- You think so? - (LAUGHTER) Selfie.
- Selfie.
- (LAUGHTER) Joanie.
Joanie, look up, eh! Tony! OK, that's all right.
You're all right.
It's all good.
You're all right.
- So, Bradley - (WHIRRS) OK.
Here you go.
Good luck.
Joanie, I wish you well.
(WHIRRING) - Good luck.
- (WHIRRING) Brilliant.
Let's have a look.
- Are you all right, Joan? - Yes.
Are you sure? Do you want a cake? I've got some cakes over there.
Do you want a nice cream horn? Leave it.
OK.
Take her pulse, Bradley.
Here you go, Joanie.
Give everyone a wave.
Are you still with us, love? - Right.
That's it.
Good.
- Joan You're now half the woman you used to be.
Oh, wow! Look at that, everyone.
(APPLAUSE) Look at that.
Unbelievable.
Joanie, wiggle your feet, darling.
(LAUGHTER) Very good.
OK.
What do we do now? We put Joanie back together again.
Put Joanie back together? OK, let's do that.
I wish you well.
Good luck.
Joan, you've been brilliant.
OK.
Joanie, up you come, darling.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Ladies and gentlemen -- Tony Van Helsing and Joan! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Come on, Joanie.
I'll see you down, darling.
- Ooh.
- That's it.
That's it.
Keep going.
You were sensational.
I can't believe you did all that.
That was absolutely brilliant.
(CHEERING) You're the talk of the town.
- (LAUGHING) - Oh, my! - Thanks, Nan.
- (LAUGHTER) So it's a moment we've been waiting for Well, especially up there in the Royal Box.
What can I say? He's the Essex boy who's done so good.
With his single, Seasons, it's Olly Murs! (CHEERING) Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Baby girl with the broken smile Would you mind if I stayed a while? And if you're cold, I could light your fire - If that's what you want - If that's what you want I admit that I've done some wrong But those wrongs helped me write this song And through it all I figured out where I belong Right by your side, right by your side They say that hearts don't lie The head might try, but it won't be right You tell me what you feel inside Tonight, tonight, tonight Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Baby girl, let your hair hang down And if we're lost, baby, let's get found And when the world is flipping upside down - Let's make it right - Let's make it right They say that hearts don't lie The head might try, but it won't be right You tell me what you feel inside Tonight, tonight, tonight Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason.
Palladium! Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Whoa-oh, whoa-oh - Yours, yours, yours - For every season Whoa Sing! - Whoa! - Whoa! - Yeah - Yeah - Scream! - (SCREAMING) Sing.
Winter, summer, spring or fall I'll be on the line, waiting for your call.
Sing! Winter, summer, spring or fall I'll be on the line, waiting for your call Cos I'll be on the line, baby, on the line, baby Listen, honey, to every word I say I know that you don't trust me But I'm better than the stories about me Everybody messes up some days Ain't got no rhyme or reason Cos all I know is, I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Whoa-oh, whoa-oh I'm yours, yours, yours for every season Oh (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- Olly Murs, everyone! - (CHEERING) - Thank you.
- I've got to say -- he's no Madness, is he? - No.
Time for a break, but still to come, we have a special top-of-the-bill duet and - The fabulous Alfie Boe.
- The fabulous Alfie Boe.
See you in two ticks.
Olly Welcome back to Sunday Night at the Palladium.
The first time I saw this next act, it left both me and them speechless.
Please welcome the hilarious Men In Coats.
(CHEERING) (BIG BAND MUSIC) (APPLAUSE) (APPLAUSE) (MARIACHI MUSIC) (APPLAUSE) (APPLAUSE) (GENTLE BALLET MUSIC) (THUD) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (LOONEY TUNES THEME) (LION ROARING) (SQUEAKING) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Men In Coats, ladies and gentlemen! (CHEERING) Thanks, guys.
Men In Coats, everyone.
Thank you very much indeed.
Well As part of The Who's 50th anniversary celebrations, one of our best-loved tenors has collaborated with the legendary Pete Townshend in a new, orchestral version of The Who's Quadrophenia.
Please welcome, with a world-exclusive performance, singing Love Reign O'er Me, ladies and gentlemen, my old mate, Alfie Boe! (CHEERING) Only love can make it rain The way the beach is kissed by the sea Only love can make it rain Like the sweat of lovers layin' in the fields Love Reign o'er me Love Reign o'er me Rain on me, rain on me On me On the dry and dusty road The nights we spend apart alone I need to get back home to cool, cool rain I can't sleep and I lie awake and think The nights are hot and black as ink Oh, God, I need a drink of cool, cool rain Love Reign o'er me Love Reign o'er me Reign o'er me, reign o'er me O'er me Love (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Alfie Boe, ladies and gentlemen! (CHEERING) What about that? And now it's time for something very exciting.
Folks, get ready, because it is our brand-new quiz, Star Of The Show! (CHEERING) There are 2,200 people in this audience, and two of you will battle it out for the chance to win an amazing prize.
But who will it be? Well, when you came in tonight, you were each given a light-up wrist-band, like this.
Now, we are going to light them all up and then randomly eliminate them, until we are left with two people, whose wrist-bands are still lit.
On they go.
Let's see.
Oh! Relight My Fire OK.
Some of them will be going out.
Let's see.
Oh, they're slowly going out.
Let's have a look.
Oh, hang on.
We've got one left.
So, we have a wrist-band there and one down here.
Excellent stuff.
And one there.
How are you? - OK.
Your name is? - Tracy.
- Good to see you.
Shout out your name, please.
- Ian! OK, Ian.
Congratulations.
After the break, Ian and Tracy will fight for that wonderful prize.
Plus a very special duet for our grand finale.
Don't go anywhere.
We'll see you in a moment here at the Palladium.
Thank you very much.
Welcome back to Sunday Night At The Palladium.
It's time for our brand-new quiz, Star Of The Show! (CHEERING) I am joined by Ian and Tracy, who are ready to play.
- Tracy, you're our red player.
How are you? - Very well.
- What do you do? Where are you from? - I'm from Northampton - (CHEERING) - And I'm a colonic irrigationist.
- (LAUGHTER) Right.
If you win, I won't be shaking your hand.
Ian, where are you from? I'm from Essex originally, but I now live in Cambridgeshire, and I'm a company director.
Excellent.
Now, here's how the game works.
Our star up here is made of five star lights.
I'm going to ask as many questions as I can in 60 seconds, all related to tonight's show.
Get a question right, and the star light will light up in your colour.
Get it wrong, and it lights up in your opponent's colour.
I will keep asking questions until the time is up, and whoever has the most star lights lit after 60 seconds will play for a magnificent prize, courtesy of icelolly.
com.
It's a luxury holiday to Bermuda.
(APPLAUSE) Fingers on the buzzers.
Your time starts now.
Who's the lead singer of The Who? - Roger Daltrey.
- Correct.
What high-trousered judge mentored Olly Murs on the X Factor? - Simon Cowell.
- Correct.
Which celebrity diving show was Jo Brand a judge on? - Splash.
- Yes, correct.
Billy Elliot, the musical, celebrates which anniversary this year? - Ten.
- Correct.
What family of instruments do trumpets belong to? - (LAUGHTER) - Quick! - Brass.
- Correct.
Complete the Olly Murs hit: Dance With Me - Tonight.
- Correct.
That stays blue.
A bad dancer has two left what? - Feet.
- Feet.
- Correct for you.
From which Who album did Alfie's song come tonight? - Quadrophenia.
- Correct.
That stays blue.
Was Billy Elliot's dad a gold miner or a coalminer? - Coalminer.
- Correct.
Our comedians have made us LOL tonight, but what does LOL stand for? - Laugh out loud.
- Correct.
The winner tonight is blue! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Which means, Tracy, I am so sorry.
Please give her a round of applause, as she goes back to her seat.
OK, Ian.
In you come.
All right.
Now, Ian.
There is just one question standing between you and that holiday in Bermuda.
All right.
Tonight's headline act is Madness.
They made which hat famous? Trilby.
- You're saying Trilby? - 100 per cent.
- It's the correct answer! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Congratulations.
And to bring on the prize (CHEERING) - There you go.
- Thank you.
Legend.
Also, you have your souvenir poster, and there's a space there for your name.
- Your ticket to Bermuda.
- Thank you, sir.
And I've also got two VIP tickets to the new Madness tour.
(CHEERING) Suggs, we'll see you in a bit.
That's Madness, everyone! (CHEERING) Suggs will go and get ready right now.
What a night this has been! Sunday Night At The Palladium.
You have been watching the Olate Dogs, Jo Brand, Billy Elliot, Men In Coats, Olly Murs and the one and only Alfie Boe, but right now, to close the show, it's the wonderful Madness! Till next time, good night! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It isn't half dark back there.
I never thought I'd miss you Half as much as I do And I never thought I'd feel this way The way I feel about you As soon as I wake up Every night, every day I know that it's you I need To take the blues away It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love Nothing more, nothing less Love is the best Oh, yes Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls The very proud parents.
I'd like to introduce you to your son Olly.
(CHEERING) He's been so busy, we thought you'd like to see him in the flesh.
As soon as I wake up, every night, every day I know that it's you I need to take the blues away Come on -- sing with us! It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love Do you know what I'm saying? - It must be love, love, love - Come on! It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love Cos Olly, it's nothing more, nothing less Madness is the best! - (CHEERING) - Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Good night.
It must be love, love, love It must be love, love, love