Superjail! (2007) s02e01 Episode Script
Best Friends Forever
Lottery Loser, Loser, Winner Superjail What sector is it this time? It's Jailbot.
He's down.
I've got a fix.
Visual main screen.
Jailbot.
Return to base immediately.
Copy? It's no use, his systems are offline.
Dammit! Oh, man, they are dead meat.
Are you crazy? Nothing can beat Jailbot.
Oh hey man, T-Rex is the most powerful creature ever to walk the planet.
Oh yeah? You wanna bet? Sir, sir.
What should we do? Put it all on Jailbot and let it ride.
Start up The heck? Six minutes late.
My whole day is up.
Jailbot! Place your bets, place your bets.
-220 on the moneyline.
Five to one, tons of fun.
Jared! Jared! Everyone, hide this stuff.
Good morning, sir.
It's hardly morning.
And there's nothing good about it.
I had to wake up all on my own.
Where the hell is Jailbot? Why are you asking me? Cause that's what I do.
I ask you things and then I tell you things, Right now I'm telling you to go find Jailbot and send him to me.
I'll get right on that, sir.
Okay, let's see.
What does Jailbot do exactly? I can do that.
O-o-o-o ka-a-a-y.
Which one do I pee into? Where the hell is Jailbot? What the hell is going on down here? Aaah.
Okay, okay, look, Jailbot and Jacknife crashed in the outer zone so we decided to make a little wager.
Hey, no sidebets.
I want in.
No way, get your own racket.
Okay, okay, deal.
Did you nincompoops find Jailbot yet? What happened to you? Nothing.
Wh-what? It's a little shaving accident.
And Hold please.
Stupid ear.
Just keep him distracted.
Somebody's got to cover Jailbot's shift.
Perfect! Well? Sir, I'm short on manpower due to the search.
I need you to cover Jailbot's duties.
You're kidding, right? I'm the boss, I don't do lowly robot work.
I think robots are sexy.
Really? Well, I guess I could help out just this one time.
Great! Here's the list of Jailbot's duties.
Piece of cake.
Low battery.
Thought you had it under control.
Relax, baby.
Aww, they sure look like goners out there.
The odds are now 100 to one against.
Who wants to double-down? Recalibrate giant rocket fists Welcome back, Jailbot.
Oh, no-no-no-not, I'm not Jailbot Intruder, intruder.
Feed animals in superjail petting zoo.
Hello, animal friends.
I know you're expecting Jailbot, but I'm Jailbot's papa.
And daddy's got some nice fresh chow for ya.
Kill carnivorous weeds in vegetable garden Hello, vegetable garden.
These jerks giving you trouble, huh? Choke on that, suckers! Feed.
Weed killer.
Cute, they must be all tuckered out from chow time Sleep tight my little critters.
RIP Jose Remove graffiti.
Repair elevators.
I'm worthless.
Can't even take care of my own stupid jail.
I miss my Jailbot.
Yes, yes.
I've been going about this all wrong.
If I wanna do Jailbot's job, I need to think more like Jailbot.
And in order to think more like Jailbot I must become Jailbot.
Identification.
Identification.
It's me Jailbot.
Welcome back, Jailbot.
Commence interface.
Interface.
Interface.
Interface.
What? Oop That's that.
Pleasure doing business with you, sluts! Wait where are you going? These losers are all out of cash anyway.
But there are other things they can gamble with besides money.
Don't I know it.
Follow me, boys.
Time to work off that debt.
Jailbot.
I'm Jailbot.
Jailbot.
I'm Jailbot.
Howdy.
Apprehend Jacknife.
All right, we're back in business, fellas.
Place your bets, place your bets.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Two Jailbots! Fellas It's a fix! No-no-no, I had nothing to do with it this time.
This time.
Oh boy What I meant was There's been a misunderstanding.
I'm telling the truth.
You should have just let 'em kill me.
I'm a degenerate.
I'll always be a loser.
Winner! I'm back, baby! Bet.
Warden dresses up as Jailbot and enters outer worlds where real Jailbot beats him and saves him by shocking Jacknife.
He's down.
I've got a fix.
Visual main screen.
Jailbot.
Return to base immediately.
Copy? It's no use, his systems are offline.
Dammit! Oh, man, they are dead meat.
Are you crazy? Nothing can beat Jailbot.
Oh hey man, T-Rex is the most powerful creature ever to walk the planet.
Oh yeah? You wanna bet? Sir, sir.
What should we do? Put it all on Jailbot and let it ride.
Start up The heck? Six minutes late.
My whole day is up.
Jailbot! Place your bets, place your bets.
-220 on the moneyline.
Five to one, tons of fun.
Jared! Jared! Everyone, hide this stuff.
Good morning, sir.
It's hardly morning.
And there's nothing good about it.
I had to wake up all on my own.
Where the hell is Jailbot? Why are you asking me? Cause that's what I do.
I ask you things and then I tell you things, Right now I'm telling you to go find Jailbot and send him to me.
I'll get right on that, sir.
Okay, let's see.
What does Jailbot do exactly? I can do that.
O-o-o-o ka-a-a-y.
Which one do I pee into? Where the hell is Jailbot? What the hell is going on down here? Aaah.
Okay, okay, look, Jailbot and Jacknife crashed in the outer zone so we decided to make a little wager.
Hey, no sidebets.
I want in.
No way, get your own racket.
Okay, okay, deal.
Did you nincompoops find Jailbot yet? What happened to you? Nothing.
Wh-what? It's a little shaving accident.
And Hold please.
Stupid ear.
Just keep him distracted.
Somebody's got to cover Jailbot's shift.
Perfect! Well? Sir, I'm short on manpower due to the search.
I need you to cover Jailbot's duties.
You're kidding, right? I'm the boss, I don't do lowly robot work.
I think robots are sexy.
Really? Well, I guess I could help out just this one time.
Great! Here's the list of Jailbot's duties.
Piece of cake.
Low battery.
Thought you had it under control.
Relax, baby.
Aww, they sure look like goners out there.
The odds are now 100 to one against.
Who wants to double-down? Recalibrate giant rocket fists Welcome back, Jailbot.
Oh, no-no-no-not, I'm not Jailbot Intruder, intruder.
Feed animals in superjail petting zoo.
Hello, animal friends.
I know you're expecting Jailbot, but I'm Jailbot's papa.
And daddy's got some nice fresh chow for ya.
Kill carnivorous weeds in vegetable garden Hello, vegetable garden.
These jerks giving you trouble, huh? Choke on that, suckers! Feed.
Weed killer.
Cute, they must be all tuckered out from chow time Sleep tight my little critters.
RIP Jose Remove graffiti.
Repair elevators.
I'm worthless.
Can't even take care of my own stupid jail.
I miss my Jailbot.
Yes, yes.
I've been going about this all wrong.
If I wanna do Jailbot's job, I need to think more like Jailbot.
And in order to think more like Jailbot I must become Jailbot.
Identification.
Identification.
It's me Jailbot.
Welcome back, Jailbot.
Commence interface.
Interface.
Interface.
Interface.
What? Oop That's that.
Pleasure doing business with you, sluts! Wait where are you going? These losers are all out of cash anyway.
But there are other things they can gamble with besides money.
Don't I know it.
Follow me, boys.
Time to work off that debt.
Jailbot.
I'm Jailbot.
Jailbot.
I'm Jailbot.
Howdy.
Apprehend Jacknife.
All right, we're back in business, fellas.
Place your bets, place your bets.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Two Jailbots! Fellas It's a fix! No-no-no, I had nothing to do with it this time.
This time.
Oh boy What I meant was There's been a misunderstanding.
I'm telling the truth.
You should have just let 'em kill me.
I'm a degenerate.
I'll always be a loser.
Winner! I'm back, baby! Bet.
Warden dresses up as Jailbot and enters outer worlds where real Jailbot beats him and saves him by shocking Jacknife.