Tales from the Crypt (1989) s02e01 Episode Script
Dead Right
Crypt Keeper: I LOOK INTO THE FUTURE, MY DARLINGS, AND FOR YOU I SEE SOMETHING GROTESQUE.
IT WILL SICKEN AND DISGUST YOU.
IT'S ME! TONIGHT'S TALE IS A SICKENING STAB AT SUSPENSE ABOUT A GOLD DIGGER WHO WANTED BIG BUCKS TO BUY BAUBLES AND BANGLES.
LOOK OUT, CATHY.
I SEE YOU JUST MIGHT BUY THE BIG ONE.
Woman, Hungarian accent: THE DOOR IS OPEN.
ARE YOU MADAME VORNA? I HEARD YOU COULD TELL THE FUTURE.
SHE HEARD CORRECTLY, DIDN'T SHE, TROTSKY? I DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS STUFF, BUT IF IT DOESN'T GO OVER MY LUNCH HOUR, WHAT THE HELL? YES, DARLING, WHAT THE HELL? THE FEE IS $20.
YOU PAY IN ADVANCE.
WHAT DO YOU USE? TAROT CARDS? I HAVE WHAT PEOPLE CALL THE SECOND SIGHT.
I USE MYSELF AND YOU.
I READ YOUR VIBRATIONS.
SIT DOWN.
MY WHAT? IMAGINE THAT I AM AN EMPTY VESSEL AND YOUR PSYCHIC ENERGY, YOUR SPIRIT, FILLS ME UP.
SHALL WE? AHH YOU ARE A WORKING GIRL, AREN'T YOU? A SECRETARY, WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY.
TYPE, TYPE, TYPE, TYPE, TYPE.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE PLAN, IS IT? ALL YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE DESIRED TO MARRY WELL, TO MARRY FOR MONEY, BUT YOUR CHANCE NEVER CAME.
SO, YOU KEEP WORKING, HOPING TO MEET MR.
RIGHT, OR SHOULD I SAY MR.
RICH? NOT BAD.
WELL, TODAY, YOU'LL LOSE YOUR JOB.
MY BOSS IS OUT OF TOWN.
THERE'S NO WAY I COULD GET FIRED-NOT TODAY.
YOU JUST MADE A BIG MISTAKE.
IN THIS AREA, I DON'T EVEN MAKE SMALL ONES.
I TELL YOU MORE.
BY THE END OF TODAY, YOU HAVE A NEW JOB.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE NUTS.
MY LUNCH HOUR'S ALMOST UP.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
THANKS FOR NOTHING.
Madame Vorna: TROTSKY! GET OVER HERE! TROTSKY- GET OFF ME.
SALLY, MADAME VORNA WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.
SHE WAS A REAL QUACK.
SHE WENT INTO THIS BIZARRO ACT AND SPOUTED OFF THAT CLAYTON WAS GOING TO FIRE ME TODAY.
I TOLD HER THAT ASSHOLE'S NOT EVEN IN TOWN.
ACTUALLY, MISS FINCH, THAT ASSHOLE CAME BACK UNEXPECTEDLY.
I'M SORRY, MR.
CLAYTON.
NOW, MISS FINCH, I'M NOT THE KIND OF THIN-SKINNED BOSS WHO GETS UPSET AT BEING CALLED A NASTY NAME.
I'M NOT.
HOWEVER, THIS TIMECARD HERE INDICATES YOU WENT TO LUNCH AT 12:00.
YES, SIR.
YOU KNOW WE ALLOW ONLY ONE HOUR FOR LUNCH HERE.
OF COURSE, MR.
CLAYTON.
I'M AWARE OF THAT.
WELL, YOU'RE FIRED, MISS FINCH.
IT'S NOW 1:25.
PACK UP AND GET OUT NOW! YOU ARE NOT LAID OFF! YOU'RE FIRED! I'M NOT FIRED! I QUIT, YOU CHEAP BASTARD! YOU'LL NEVER REPLACE ME! OH, NO, YOU'RE TOTALLY IRREPLACEABLE.
WE'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO CLOSE DOWN.
WHERE WILL IEVERFIND ANOTHER WAITRESS? HEY, YOU! HEY! WHAT, ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? YOU WANT A JOB? OK, SO YOU WERE RIGHT.
I DID GET FIRED, BUT IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID CLOCK.
IT'S SLOW.
WELL, SO IT IS, BUT YOU WEREN'T UNEMPLOYED FOR LONG, WERE YOU, DARLING? NO, I WASN'T.
EVERY EXIT IS AN ENTRANCE SOMEPLACE ELSE.
RIGHT, TROTSKY? THERE IS A NEW WIND BLOWING FOR YOU.
I SEE A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY COMING INTO YOUR LIFE SOMEDAY.
TRUST ME, DARLING.
BUT FIRST, I SEE A MAN IN BLACK, AND YOU ARE IN WHITE NEXT TO HIM.
IT IS YOUR WEDDING! AH HA HA HA! NICE.
CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT THE MONEY? I'M SORRY, DARLING.
THAT MAN WILL NOT BE WEALTHY AT THE TIME OF YOUR MARRIAGE.
OH, WELL, THEN FORGET ABOUT IT.
I'M NOT GONNA MARRY ANY JERK UNLESS HE'S LOADED ALREADY.
AND I'M TALKIN' BIG MONEY- A YACHT, A MANSION FURS, DIAMOND RINGS, MINK COATS- BOATS AND COATS.
WHAT ABOUT LOVE? WELL, YEAH.
THAT'S IMPORTANT, TOO.
NOT TO YOU.
YOU LOVE MONEY, DON'T YOU, CATHY? HOW WOULD I KNOW? I'VE NEVER HAD ANY.
SOON AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED, YOUR MAN WILL INHERIT MONEY, A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY.
IT WILL COME TO HIM FROM SOMEONE NEAR AND DEAR TO HIM.
AFTER HE INHERITS THE MONEY, HE WILL DIE VIOLENTLY.
YOU MEAN I'M GOING TO BE A WIDOW, A RICH WIDOW? YOU WILL MEET HIM TONIGHT.
A LARGE MAN WILL MAKE HIS APPROACH.
I'M READY.
Emcee: GENTLEMEN, LET'S GIVE A WARM WELCOME- CAN I GET YOU GUYS ANYTHING ELSE? TO OUR NEW WAITRESS, MISS CATHY FINCH! Emcee: COME ON, BE WARM AND GENEROUS WITH HER! SHE MAY BE WARM AND GENEROUS WITH YOU.
NOW, HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR- TONIGHT'S FEATURE ATTRACTION, MISS NUDE NEBRASKA 1948.
LET'S PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR MISS AURA LEE! KIND AND GENEROUS, AL? MORE LIKE STUPID AND STINGY.
GIVE ME 2 STINGERS AND A SCOTCH STRAIGHT UP.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THESE GUYS COME IN HERE FOR? I KNOW, I SAW THE SIGN OUTSIDE.
IT SAID "BIG TITS," NOT "BIG TIPS.
" AL, LOOK AT THIS GUY WHO JUST WALKED IN.
JESUS, IS HE HUGE! WHICH GUY? WHICH GUY! HOW CAN YOU MISS HIM? HE'S SO BIG, HE PROBABLY HAS HIS OWN ZIP CODE.
OH, YOU MEAN THE FULL-SIZE GUY.
NOT YOUR TYPE, HUH? I DON'T EVEN THINK HE'S MY SPECIES.
BUT HE'S ONE OF OUR BEST AND BRIGHTEST, SO BITE YOUR TONGUE AND GO TO WORK.
WE TAKE CARE OF OUR CUSTOMERS, SWEETHEART.
OK, AL.
SO, WHAT'LL IT BE? UH, I'LL HAVE A ROB ROY.
IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE? DATE TONIGHT AFTER YOU GET OFF WORK.
NO PROBLEM ON THE DRINK, PAL, BUT NO WAY ON THE DATE.
HEY! ARE YOU PLAYING HARD TO GET? NO.
JUST TRY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET.
HEY, AL! ONE ROB ROY FOR THE FAT BOY.
COMING UP, SWEETHEART.
COMING UP, SWEETHEART.
LOOK, UM I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME, BUT ME, YOU SEE, I'M THE KIND OF GUY I, UH-I JUST DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.
THEN HOW ABOUT NEVER? LIKE, NO WAY, NOT FOR ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.
THE THING IS YOU MOVE ME, BABY.
GET SERIOUS.
ALLIED VAN LINES COULDN'T MOVE YOU.
THAT'S OK.
MAKE A JOKE.
I KNOW I'M I'M A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT.
A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT.
YEAH, AND HITLER'S A LITTLE ANTI-SEMITIC.
EISENHOWER'S A LITTLE BALD.
AND THE POPE'S A LITTLE CATHOLIC.
HEY, COME ON.
HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BABY? YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT.
WE GOT A SPECIAL CONNECTION BETWEEN US.
WE'RE GONNA BE TOGETHER.
IT'S DESTINY.
IT'S DESTINY.
MADAME VORNA! YOU'VE GOTTA TELL ME THAT THAT FAT, DISGUSTING CREEP, HE'S NOT THE MAN I'M GOING TO MARRY.
OOH, YOU WERE RUDE TO HIM, WEREN'T YOU? COME ON.
TAKE IT EASY.
SIT DOWN.
HE'S A PIG! AND HIS FACE AND, OH, GOD, THE BREATH! WHO'S THE REAL GUY? YOU GOTTA TELL ME.
THATISTHE REAL GUY.
HE'S THE ONE YOU WILL MARRY, THE LARGE MAN.
I TOLD YOU.
I SEE EVERYTHING.
HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL INHERIT THE FORTUNE AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED.
BUT LISTEN, I TOLD YOU, SHORTLY AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED, HE WILL DIE A VIOLENT DEATH.
I TOLD YOU THAT.
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
HAVE AN ANIMAL CRACKER.
EAT.
TROTSKY SWEARS BY THEM.
SALLY, I JUST DON'T THINK I CAN GO THROUGH WITH IT.
WHY NOT? MADAME VORNA'S BEEN RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE, HASN'T SHE? YEAH, BUT THIS GUY IS JUST TOO GROTESQUE TO LOOK AT, LET ALONE DO IT WITH.
JESUS, HE'D PROBABLY SMOTHER ME.
COME ON, WOULD YOU CHEER UP? MARRY THE GUY! I MEAN, DIDN'T VORNA SAY IT WAS GONNA BE A SHORT MARRIAGE? YES, MY DARLING.
SOON HE INHERITS THE MONEY, THEN HE DIES VIOLENTLY.
MMM.
DID SHE SAY HOW? SHE DIDN'T SAY EXACTLY.
MAYBE HE'S, LIKE, UH HIT BY A CAR, YOU KNOW? LIKE, A HIT-AND-RUN DRIVER COMES ALONG, SMASHES HIM, SPREADS HIM ALL ALONG THE ROAD.
HE IS SO BIG.
I'M TELLING YOU, HE'S HUGE.
IT WOULD TAKE, LIKE, A LIKE, A TRUCK, A BIG OLD MACK TRUCK TO FLATTEN HIM.
I GOT BETTER.
I COULD SEE HIM SITTING AT A BIG OLD TABLE FULL OF FOOD, JUST STUFFIN' HIS BIG OLD FAT FACE, AND THEN HE STARTS TO CHOKE ON A BIG OLD PIECE OF MEAT, AND HE STARTS GAGGING AND SPEWING FOOD, AND HIS EYES START TO BULGE OUT, AND THEY'RE WATERING, AND HIS VEINS ARE POPPING OUT- GO FOR IT, CATH.
YOU GOTTA GO FOR IT.
SAY, NURSE, I THINK YOU'VE GOT A PATIENT.
HEY, BABY.
WHAT'S YOUR PLEASURE? ARE YOU BUSY TONIGHT? 'CAUSE I WAS THINKING, IF YOU GOT OFF EARLY- I DON'T.
HEY, BABY.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
WHAT NIGHT AIN'T YOU BUSY? I'M BUSY EVERY NIGHT.
YEAH.
YOU'RE TOO BUSY FOR DINNER AND DANCING, THE WORKS? I DON'T THINK- SHH! SHH! Do you feel that? Do you feel that? COME ON.
OK.
OK.
I'LL GET YOUR DRINK.
IT'S A ROB ROY, RIGHT? RIGHT.
SAY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME.
YOU'RE DATING MR.
CHARLIE MARNO.
AND I'M PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
CATHY, I LOVE CHINESE FOOD, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
YOU FEEL LIKE EATING AGAIN HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? OH! OH! ACTUALLY, I'M PRETTY LIGHT ON MY FEET.
YEAH.
I WISH YOU WERE LIGHT ONMYFEET.
I'M SORRY? I SAID YOU'RE SUCH A DELIGHT TO MEET.
THANK YOU.
HERE.
I GOT IT.
HERE.
I GOT IT.
OK.
OK, WELL, I HAD- I HAD A GREAT NIGHT.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
OK.
OK.
OH, YEAH.
OH, I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW, BABE.
WHY IS THAT, CHARLIE? BECAUSE I GET BETTER-LOOKING EVERY DAY! HA HA HA HA! OK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW SUIT? WELL, IT'S YOU.
YEAH! I JUST- I SAW IT ON THE RACK, AND IT JUST SAID CHARLIE MARNO.
YOU REALLY KNOW ME, DON'T YOU, BABE? AND AFTER ONLY A COUPLE OF DATES.
IT'S WILD.
WE ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.
LOOK, I ONLY GOT- I AIN'T GOT MUCH NOW, BUT I GOT GOOD PROSPECTS, AND I AM I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
SO WILL YOU MARRY ME? THAT'S AN AWFULLY BIG QUESTION, CHARLIE.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT- YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.
BUT YOUR BACKGROUND, YOUR FAMILY.
WHAT IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN, THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY? I MEAN, IS THERE SOMEBODY THAT COULD HELP US OUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE A BROTHER OR AN AUNT, SOMEBODY WHO'S RICH? RICH? WELL THERE'S JUST MY UNCLE.
HE OWNS A FACTORY.
HE'S WORTH A LOT, ALOT, BUT I AIN'T ASKIN' HIM FOR NOTHING.
HEY, I'M SURE YOU WON'T HAVE TO.
YEAH, CHARLIE, I'LL MARRY YOU.
Minister: DO YOU TAKE THIS MAN, CHARLIE MARNO, TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, FOR RICHER AND POORER TILL DEATH DO YOU PART? I DO TILL DEATH DO US PART.
CATHY.
COME ON, BABY.
WHAT'S TAKING YOU, SWEETHEART? COME ON.
START WITHOUT ME.
YEAH, WELL, I MAY HAVE TO.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN HOLD OUT.
COME ON, BABY.
AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER, DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK HEAVEN I'M IN HEAVEN AND THE CARES THAT HUNG AROUND ME THROUGH THE WEEK? SEEM TO VANISH LIKE A GAMBLER'S LUCKY STREAK WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER, DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK HEAVEN I'M IN HEAVEN AND THE CARES THAT HUNG AROUND ME THROUGH THE WEEK? SEEM TO VANISH YEAH? YOU MISSED A SPOT.
OH, I LOVE TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN AND TO REACH THE HIGHEST PEAK HOW ARE YOUR CORN FLAKES? GREAT, HONEY.
HAM AND EGGS? GREAT, HONEY.
ALL RIGHT.
HERE'S YOUR DESSERT.
AW, GEE.
I LOVE MARRIED LIFE.
IT'S RICH, ISN'T IT? BUT I DON'T ENJOY IT HALF AS MUCH AS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK HONEY, DON'T FORGET MY B.
V.
D.
s DANCE WITH ME I WANT MY ARM ABOUT YOU THE CHARM ABOUT YOU? WILL CARRY ME THROUGH TO HEAVEN I HAVE A HEADACHE.
AGAIN? OH, WILL YOU FORGET THAT ASPIRIN? LET ME GIVE YOU A DOSE OF EXTRA-STRENGTH CHARLIE MARNO.
CHARLIE, COME ON! SAY, CHARLIE? WHAT? HAVE YOU HEARD FROM YOUR UNCLE, YOU KNOW, THE RICH ONE WITH THE FACTORY? NAH.
WHY WOULD I HEAR FROM HIM? HE'S OUT WEST WITH HIS FAMILY.
FAMILY? GOD DAMN IT, CHARLIE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE HAD FAMILY? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? BIG DEAL? ARE YOU NUTS? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKIN' MIND? ARE YOU CRAZY? "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?" IT'S ONLY MY GODDAMN, FUCKIN' FUTURE, THAT'S ALL! SHIT! I'VE SPENT 3 MONTHS WITH THIS SLOB BECAUSE OF YOU! IT'S INSANE.
IT'S CRAZY! HE WON'T INHERIT ANY MONEY.
HE'S JUST A FAT, PENNILESS PIG! THAT'S ALL HE'LL EVER BE! SO, THE HONEYMOON IS OVER? WHEW! YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? I'M THROUGH WITH BOTH OF YOU! I'M NOT WASTING ANY MORE OF MY TIME OR MY MONEY! I'M FINISHED! DONE! IT'S OVER! YOU'RE JUST A JERK! A PHONY! JUST STUPID! YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S GARBAGE.
JUST GARBAGE! HE WILL INHERIT THE MONEY AND THEN HE WILL DIE.
VORNA IS RIGHT.
VORNA IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
HOLD IT! CAMERAS, COME ON! QUIET, EVERYONE.
PLEASE, QUIET.
YOUNG LADY, CONGRATULATIONS.
FOR WHAT? YOU ARE THE HUDSON AUTOMAT CHAIN'S ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER! WHAT IS YOUR NAME, PLEASE? MRS.
CATHY MARNO.
WHAT'S GOING ON? MRS.
MARNO, JUST A MOMENT.
I'M WRITING YOUR NAME ON THIS CHECK HERE.
MRS.
CATHY MARNO.
THE HUDSON AUTOMAT CHAIN TAKES GREAT PLEASURE IN PRESENTING YOU, OUR ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER, WITH A CHECK FOR $1 MILLION! WITH A CHECK FOR $1 MILLION! ANYTHING TO SAY NOW THAT YOU HIT IT BIG? MADAME VORNA'S A DUMB BITCH.
WHAT? UH, IT'S A THRILL TO BE RICH.
YOU'RE MARRIED.
WHAT'S YOUR HUSBAND GOING TO SAY ABOUT THIS COOL MILLION? I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND TELL HIM ALL ABOUT IT.
I WON A MILLION DOLLARS! CATHY, IS THAT YOU? YES, IT IS, YOU FAT, DISGUSTING SLOB.
LA DA DA TA I'M OUT OF HERE HA HA HA! MADAME VORNA WAS WRONG.
I GOT THE MONEY, AND YOU DIDN'T.
I'VE HAD MY LAST DOSE OF CHARLIE MARNO.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, YOU CREEP! I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.
I'M MOVING OUT! NO MORE SMELLING THAT STINKING SEWER YOU CALL A BODY! I'M OUT OF HERE.
THANKS FOR 3 MONTHS OF NAUSEA.
NO, NO.
KEEP YOUR DAMN CLOTHES! I'D NEVER GET YOUR PUTRID ODOR OUT OF THEM ANYWAY.
I'VE GOT PLENTY NOW.
SEE? PLENTY.
PLENTY, PLENTY, PLENTY.
I'LL JUST BUY NEW STUFF.
GOOD-BYE.
CATHY, CATHY.
YOU CAN'T JUST WALK OUT ON ME.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
I LOATHE YOU, CHARLIE.
EVERY DAY WITH YOU WAS LIKE AN ETERNITY IN HELL.
SHH! DO YOU FEEL IT? SHH! DO YOU FEEL IT? I DON'T FEEL IT, CHARLIE.
I NEVER FELT IT! GET YOUR GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF ME! LET ME GO.
LET ME GO.
YOU WANT SOME ADVICE, CHARLIE? EAT A SALAD ONCE IN A WHILE AND TAKE A BATH! CATHY ONE LAST THING.
WHAT? IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU THEN NOBODY CAN.
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, CHARLIE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JUST TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S OK.
JUST PUT THE KNIFE DOWN.
CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN NOW.
CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN NOW.
OK.
CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN.
OK.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NOBODY CAN.
IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NOBODY CAN! IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO BODY CAN! IF I Man: CATHY FINCH WAS A LONELY GIRL WHO WANTED MONEY AND LOVE, AND FOUND CHARLIE MARNO.
SHE MARRIED HIM, FOR SHE HEARD HE WOULD INHERIT A FORTUNE AND THEN DIE.
CHARLIE MARNODIDINHERIT A FORTUNE- FROM CATHY FINCH, AFTER HE MURDERED HER.
THIS IS ERNIE KEPROS, LIVE AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY, WHERE THE PRIEST HAS GIVEN THE LAST RITES AND CHARLIE HAS EATEN HIS LAST MEAL, WHICH, WE UNDERSTAND, IS THE LARGEST ANY DEATH-ROW PRISONER HAS EVER HAD.
THEY'RE ABOUT TO CLOSE THE BLINDS.
THAT WAS- THAT WAS SOMETHING A VIOLENT END FOR A VIOLENT MAN.
I'M ERNIE KEPROS, LIVE AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY, WHERE THE PRIEST HAS GIVEN THE FINAL RITES AND CHARLIE HAS EATEN HIS LAST MEAL.
Vorna: THE DOOR IS OPEN.
Vorna: THE DOOR IS OPEN.
ARE YOU MADAME VORNA? YES, DARLING.
I HEARD YOU CAN TELL THE FUTURE.
SHE HEARD CORRECTLY, DIDN'T SHE, TROTSKY? THE FEE IS $20.
PAY IN ADVANCE.
Crypt Keeper: POOR CATHY.
SHE DID BUY THE BIG ONE, AND THAT CHARLIE, WHAT A CUT-UP.
STILL, HE WASN'T SAD IN THE END.
YOU SEE, WHEN CHARLIE GOT HIS JUST DESSERTS, HE REQUESTED SECONDS! AND NOW I PREDICT THE FUTURE.
NEXT WEEK, YOU'LL BE IN THE SAME TIME, SAME PLACE, SAME STATION FOR ANOTHER HIDEOUS, HATEFUL HALL OF HORROR.
IT WILL SICKEN AND DISGUST YOU.
IT'S ME! TONIGHT'S TALE IS A SICKENING STAB AT SUSPENSE ABOUT A GOLD DIGGER WHO WANTED BIG BUCKS TO BUY BAUBLES AND BANGLES.
LOOK OUT, CATHY.
I SEE YOU JUST MIGHT BUY THE BIG ONE.
Woman, Hungarian accent: THE DOOR IS OPEN.
ARE YOU MADAME VORNA? I HEARD YOU COULD TELL THE FUTURE.
SHE HEARD CORRECTLY, DIDN'T SHE, TROTSKY? I DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS STUFF, BUT IF IT DOESN'T GO OVER MY LUNCH HOUR, WHAT THE HELL? YES, DARLING, WHAT THE HELL? THE FEE IS $20.
YOU PAY IN ADVANCE.
WHAT DO YOU USE? TAROT CARDS? I HAVE WHAT PEOPLE CALL THE SECOND SIGHT.
I USE MYSELF AND YOU.
I READ YOUR VIBRATIONS.
SIT DOWN.
MY WHAT? IMAGINE THAT I AM AN EMPTY VESSEL AND YOUR PSYCHIC ENERGY, YOUR SPIRIT, FILLS ME UP.
SHALL WE? AHH YOU ARE A WORKING GIRL, AREN'T YOU? A SECRETARY, WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY.
TYPE, TYPE, TYPE, TYPE, TYPE.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE PLAN, IS IT? ALL YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE DESIRED TO MARRY WELL, TO MARRY FOR MONEY, BUT YOUR CHANCE NEVER CAME.
SO, YOU KEEP WORKING, HOPING TO MEET MR.
RIGHT, OR SHOULD I SAY MR.
RICH? NOT BAD.
WELL, TODAY, YOU'LL LOSE YOUR JOB.
MY BOSS IS OUT OF TOWN.
THERE'S NO WAY I COULD GET FIRED-NOT TODAY.
YOU JUST MADE A BIG MISTAKE.
IN THIS AREA, I DON'T EVEN MAKE SMALL ONES.
I TELL YOU MORE.
BY THE END OF TODAY, YOU HAVE A NEW JOB.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE NUTS.
MY LUNCH HOUR'S ALMOST UP.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
THANKS FOR NOTHING.
Madame Vorna: TROTSKY! GET OVER HERE! TROTSKY- GET OFF ME.
SALLY, MADAME VORNA WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.
SHE WAS A REAL QUACK.
SHE WENT INTO THIS BIZARRO ACT AND SPOUTED OFF THAT CLAYTON WAS GOING TO FIRE ME TODAY.
I TOLD HER THAT ASSHOLE'S NOT EVEN IN TOWN.
ACTUALLY, MISS FINCH, THAT ASSHOLE CAME BACK UNEXPECTEDLY.
I'M SORRY, MR.
CLAYTON.
NOW, MISS FINCH, I'M NOT THE KIND OF THIN-SKINNED BOSS WHO GETS UPSET AT BEING CALLED A NASTY NAME.
I'M NOT.
HOWEVER, THIS TIMECARD HERE INDICATES YOU WENT TO LUNCH AT 12:00.
YES, SIR.
YOU KNOW WE ALLOW ONLY ONE HOUR FOR LUNCH HERE.
OF COURSE, MR.
CLAYTON.
I'M AWARE OF THAT.
WELL, YOU'RE FIRED, MISS FINCH.
IT'S NOW 1:25.
PACK UP AND GET OUT NOW! YOU ARE NOT LAID OFF! YOU'RE FIRED! I'M NOT FIRED! I QUIT, YOU CHEAP BASTARD! YOU'LL NEVER REPLACE ME! OH, NO, YOU'RE TOTALLY IRREPLACEABLE.
WE'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO CLOSE DOWN.
WHERE WILL IEVERFIND ANOTHER WAITRESS? HEY, YOU! HEY! WHAT, ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? YOU WANT A JOB? OK, SO YOU WERE RIGHT.
I DID GET FIRED, BUT IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID CLOCK.
IT'S SLOW.
WELL, SO IT IS, BUT YOU WEREN'T UNEMPLOYED FOR LONG, WERE YOU, DARLING? NO, I WASN'T.
EVERY EXIT IS AN ENTRANCE SOMEPLACE ELSE.
RIGHT, TROTSKY? THERE IS A NEW WIND BLOWING FOR YOU.
I SEE A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY COMING INTO YOUR LIFE SOMEDAY.
TRUST ME, DARLING.
BUT FIRST, I SEE A MAN IN BLACK, AND YOU ARE IN WHITE NEXT TO HIM.
IT IS YOUR WEDDING! AH HA HA HA! NICE.
CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT THE MONEY? I'M SORRY, DARLING.
THAT MAN WILL NOT BE WEALTHY AT THE TIME OF YOUR MARRIAGE.
OH, WELL, THEN FORGET ABOUT IT.
I'M NOT GONNA MARRY ANY JERK UNLESS HE'S LOADED ALREADY.
AND I'M TALKIN' BIG MONEY- A YACHT, A MANSION FURS, DIAMOND RINGS, MINK COATS- BOATS AND COATS.
WHAT ABOUT LOVE? WELL, YEAH.
THAT'S IMPORTANT, TOO.
NOT TO YOU.
YOU LOVE MONEY, DON'T YOU, CATHY? HOW WOULD I KNOW? I'VE NEVER HAD ANY.
SOON AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED, YOUR MAN WILL INHERIT MONEY, A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY.
IT WILL COME TO HIM FROM SOMEONE NEAR AND DEAR TO HIM.
AFTER HE INHERITS THE MONEY, HE WILL DIE VIOLENTLY.
YOU MEAN I'M GOING TO BE A WIDOW, A RICH WIDOW? YOU WILL MEET HIM TONIGHT.
A LARGE MAN WILL MAKE HIS APPROACH.
I'M READY.
Emcee: GENTLEMEN, LET'S GIVE A WARM WELCOME- CAN I GET YOU GUYS ANYTHING ELSE? TO OUR NEW WAITRESS, MISS CATHY FINCH! Emcee: COME ON, BE WARM AND GENEROUS WITH HER! SHE MAY BE WARM AND GENEROUS WITH YOU.
NOW, HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR- TONIGHT'S FEATURE ATTRACTION, MISS NUDE NEBRASKA 1948.
LET'S PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR MISS AURA LEE! KIND AND GENEROUS, AL? MORE LIKE STUPID AND STINGY.
GIVE ME 2 STINGERS AND A SCOTCH STRAIGHT UP.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THESE GUYS COME IN HERE FOR? I KNOW, I SAW THE SIGN OUTSIDE.
IT SAID "BIG TITS," NOT "BIG TIPS.
" AL, LOOK AT THIS GUY WHO JUST WALKED IN.
JESUS, IS HE HUGE! WHICH GUY? WHICH GUY! HOW CAN YOU MISS HIM? HE'S SO BIG, HE PROBABLY HAS HIS OWN ZIP CODE.
OH, YOU MEAN THE FULL-SIZE GUY.
NOT YOUR TYPE, HUH? I DON'T EVEN THINK HE'S MY SPECIES.
BUT HE'S ONE OF OUR BEST AND BRIGHTEST, SO BITE YOUR TONGUE AND GO TO WORK.
WE TAKE CARE OF OUR CUSTOMERS, SWEETHEART.
OK, AL.
SO, WHAT'LL IT BE? UH, I'LL HAVE A ROB ROY.
IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE? DATE TONIGHT AFTER YOU GET OFF WORK.
NO PROBLEM ON THE DRINK, PAL, BUT NO WAY ON THE DATE.
HEY! ARE YOU PLAYING HARD TO GET? NO.
JUST TRY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET.
HEY, AL! ONE ROB ROY FOR THE FAT BOY.
COMING UP, SWEETHEART.
COMING UP, SWEETHEART.
LOOK, UM I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME, BUT ME, YOU SEE, I'M THE KIND OF GUY I, UH-I JUST DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.
THEN HOW ABOUT NEVER? LIKE, NO WAY, NOT FOR ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.
THE THING IS YOU MOVE ME, BABY.
GET SERIOUS.
ALLIED VAN LINES COULDN'T MOVE YOU.
THAT'S OK.
MAKE A JOKE.
I KNOW I'M I'M A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT.
A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT.
YEAH, AND HITLER'S A LITTLE ANTI-SEMITIC.
EISENHOWER'S A LITTLE BALD.
AND THE POPE'S A LITTLE CATHOLIC.
HEY, COME ON.
HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BABY? YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT.
WE GOT A SPECIAL CONNECTION BETWEEN US.
WE'RE GONNA BE TOGETHER.
IT'S DESTINY.
IT'S DESTINY.
MADAME VORNA! YOU'VE GOTTA TELL ME THAT THAT FAT, DISGUSTING CREEP, HE'S NOT THE MAN I'M GOING TO MARRY.
OOH, YOU WERE RUDE TO HIM, WEREN'T YOU? COME ON.
TAKE IT EASY.
SIT DOWN.
HE'S A PIG! AND HIS FACE AND, OH, GOD, THE BREATH! WHO'S THE REAL GUY? YOU GOTTA TELL ME.
THATISTHE REAL GUY.
HE'S THE ONE YOU WILL MARRY, THE LARGE MAN.
I TOLD YOU.
I SEE EVERYTHING.
HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL INHERIT THE FORTUNE AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED.
BUT LISTEN, I TOLD YOU, SHORTLY AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED, HE WILL DIE A VIOLENT DEATH.
I TOLD YOU THAT.
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
HAVE AN ANIMAL CRACKER.
EAT.
TROTSKY SWEARS BY THEM.
SALLY, I JUST DON'T THINK I CAN GO THROUGH WITH IT.
WHY NOT? MADAME VORNA'S BEEN RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE, HASN'T SHE? YEAH, BUT THIS GUY IS JUST TOO GROTESQUE TO LOOK AT, LET ALONE DO IT WITH.
JESUS, HE'D PROBABLY SMOTHER ME.
COME ON, WOULD YOU CHEER UP? MARRY THE GUY! I MEAN, DIDN'T VORNA SAY IT WAS GONNA BE A SHORT MARRIAGE? YES, MY DARLING.
SOON HE INHERITS THE MONEY, THEN HE DIES VIOLENTLY.
MMM.
DID SHE SAY HOW? SHE DIDN'T SAY EXACTLY.
MAYBE HE'S, LIKE, UH HIT BY A CAR, YOU KNOW? LIKE, A HIT-AND-RUN DRIVER COMES ALONG, SMASHES HIM, SPREADS HIM ALL ALONG THE ROAD.
HE IS SO BIG.
I'M TELLING YOU, HE'S HUGE.
IT WOULD TAKE, LIKE, A LIKE, A TRUCK, A BIG OLD MACK TRUCK TO FLATTEN HIM.
I GOT BETTER.
I COULD SEE HIM SITTING AT A BIG OLD TABLE FULL OF FOOD, JUST STUFFIN' HIS BIG OLD FAT FACE, AND THEN HE STARTS TO CHOKE ON A BIG OLD PIECE OF MEAT, AND HE STARTS GAGGING AND SPEWING FOOD, AND HIS EYES START TO BULGE OUT, AND THEY'RE WATERING, AND HIS VEINS ARE POPPING OUT- GO FOR IT, CATH.
YOU GOTTA GO FOR IT.
SAY, NURSE, I THINK YOU'VE GOT A PATIENT.
HEY, BABY.
WHAT'S YOUR PLEASURE? ARE YOU BUSY TONIGHT? 'CAUSE I WAS THINKING, IF YOU GOT OFF EARLY- I DON'T.
HEY, BABY.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
WHAT NIGHT AIN'T YOU BUSY? I'M BUSY EVERY NIGHT.
YEAH.
YOU'RE TOO BUSY FOR DINNER AND DANCING, THE WORKS? I DON'T THINK- SHH! SHH! Do you feel that? Do you feel that? COME ON.
OK.
OK.
I'LL GET YOUR DRINK.
IT'S A ROB ROY, RIGHT? RIGHT.
SAY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME.
YOU'RE DATING MR.
CHARLIE MARNO.
AND I'M PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
CATHY, I LOVE CHINESE FOOD, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
YOU FEEL LIKE EATING AGAIN HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? OH! OH! ACTUALLY, I'M PRETTY LIGHT ON MY FEET.
YEAH.
I WISH YOU WERE LIGHT ONMYFEET.
I'M SORRY? I SAID YOU'RE SUCH A DELIGHT TO MEET.
THANK YOU.
HERE.
I GOT IT.
HERE.
I GOT IT.
OK.
OK, WELL, I HAD- I HAD A GREAT NIGHT.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
OK.
OK.
OH, YEAH.
OH, I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW, BABE.
WHY IS THAT, CHARLIE? BECAUSE I GET BETTER-LOOKING EVERY DAY! HA HA HA HA! OK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW SUIT? WELL, IT'S YOU.
YEAH! I JUST- I SAW IT ON THE RACK, AND IT JUST SAID CHARLIE MARNO.
YOU REALLY KNOW ME, DON'T YOU, BABE? AND AFTER ONLY A COUPLE OF DATES.
IT'S WILD.
WE ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.
LOOK, I ONLY GOT- I AIN'T GOT MUCH NOW, BUT I GOT GOOD PROSPECTS, AND I AM I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
SO WILL YOU MARRY ME? THAT'S AN AWFULLY BIG QUESTION, CHARLIE.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT- YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.
BUT YOUR BACKGROUND, YOUR FAMILY.
WHAT IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN, THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY? I MEAN, IS THERE SOMEBODY THAT COULD HELP US OUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE A BROTHER OR AN AUNT, SOMEBODY WHO'S RICH? RICH? WELL THERE'S JUST MY UNCLE.
HE OWNS A FACTORY.
HE'S WORTH A LOT, ALOT, BUT I AIN'T ASKIN' HIM FOR NOTHING.
HEY, I'M SURE YOU WON'T HAVE TO.
YEAH, CHARLIE, I'LL MARRY YOU.
Minister: DO YOU TAKE THIS MAN, CHARLIE MARNO, TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, FOR RICHER AND POORER TILL DEATH DO YOU PART? I DO TILL DEATH DO US PART.
CATHY.
COME ON, BABY.
WHAT'S TAKING YOU, SWEETHEART? COME ON.
START WITHOUT ME.
YEAH, WELL, I MAY HAVE TO.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN HOLD OUT.
COME ON, BABY.
AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER, DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK HEAVEN I'M IN HEAVEN AND THE CARES THAT HUNG AROUND ME THROUGH THE WEEK? SEEM TO VANISH LIKE A GAMBLER'S LUCKY STREAK WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER, DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK HEAVEN I'M IN HEAVEN AND THE CARES THAT HUNG AROUND ME THROUGH THE WEEK? SEEM TO VANISH YEAH? YOU MISSED A SPOT.
OH, I LOVE TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN AND TO REACH THE HIGHEST PEAK HOW ARE YOUR CORN FLAKES? GREAT, HONEY.
HAM AND EGGS? GREAT, HONEY.
ALL RIGHT.
HERE'S YOUR DESSERT.
AW, GEE.
I LOVE MARRIED LIFE.
IT'S RICH, ISN'T IT? BUT I DON'T ENJOY IT HALF AS MUCH AS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK HONEY, DON'T FORGET MY B.
V.
D.
s DANCE WITH ME I WANT MY ARM ABOUT YOU THE CHARM ABOUT YOU? WILL CARRY ME THROUGH TO HEAVEN I HAVE A HEADACHE.
AGAIN? OH, WILL YOU FORGET THAT ASPIRIN? LET ME GIVE YOU A DOSE OF EXTRA-STRENGTH CHARLIE MARNO.
CHARLIE, COME ON! SAY, CHARLIE? WHAT? HAVE YOU HEARD FROM YOUR UNCLE, YOU KNOW, THE RICH ONE WITH THE FACTORY? NAH.
WHY WOULD I HEAR FROM HIM? HE'S OUT WEST WITH HIS FAMILY.
FAMILY? GOD DAMN IT, CHARLIE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE HAD FAMILY? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? BIG DEAL? ARE YOU NUTS? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKIN' MIND? ARE YOU CRAZY? "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?" IT'S ONLY MY GODDAMN, FUCKIN' FUTURE, THAT'S ALL! SHIT! I'VE SPENT 3 MONTHS WITH THIS SLOB BECAUSE OF YOU! IT'S INSANE.
IT'S CRAZY! HE WON'T INHERIT ANY MONEY.
HE'S JUST A FAT, PENNILESS PIG! THAT'S ALL HE'LL EVER BE! SO, THE HONEYMOON IS OVER? WHEW! YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? I'M THROUGH WITH BOTH OF YOU! I'M NOT WASTING ANY MORE OF MY TIME OR MY MONEY! I'M FINISHED! DONE! IT'S OVER! YOU'RE JUST A JERK! A PHONY! JUST STUPID! YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S GARBAGE.
JUST GARBAGE! HE WILL INHERIT THE MONEY AND THEN HE WILL DIE.
VORNA IS RIGHT.
VORNA IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
HOLD IT! CAMERAS, COME ON! QUIET, EVERYONE.
PLEASE, QUIET.
YOUNG LADY, CONGRATULATIONS.
FOR WHAT? YOU ARE THE HUDSON AUTOMAT CHAIN'S ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER! WHAT IS YOUR NAME, PLEASE? MRS.
CATHY MARNO.
WHAT'S GOING ON? MRS.
MARNO, JUST A MOMENT.
I'M WRITING YOUR NAME ON THIS CHECK HERE.
MRS.
CATHY MARNO.
THE HUDSON AUTOMAT CHAIN TAKES GREAT PLEASURE IN PRESENTING YOU, OUR ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER, WITH A CHECK FOR $1 MILLION! WITH A CHECK FOR $1 MILLION! ANYTHING TO SAY NOW THAT YOU HIT IT BIG? MADAME VORNA'S A DUMB BITCH.
WHAT? UH, IT'S A THRILL TO BE RICH.
YOU'RE MARRIED.
WHAT'S YOUR HUSBAND GOING TO SAY ABOUT THIS COOL MILLION? I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND TELL HIM ALL ABOUT IT.
I WON A MILLION DOLLARS! CATHY, IS THAT YOU? YES, IT IS, YOU FAT, DISGUSTING SLOB.
LA DA DA TA I'M OUT OF HERE HA HA HA! MADAME VORNA WAS WRONG.
I GOT THE MONEY, AND YOU DIDN'T.
I'VE HAD MY LAST DOSE OF CHARLIE MARNO.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, YOU CREEP! I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.
I'M MOVING OUT! NO MORE SMELLING THAT STINKING SEWER YOU CALL A BODY! I'M OUT OF HERE.
THANKS FOR 3 MONTHS OF NAUSEA.
NO, NO.
KEEP YOUR DAMN CLOTHES! I'D NEVER GET YOUR PUTRID ODOR OUT OF THEM ANYWAY.
I'VE GOT PLENTY NOW.
SEE? PLENTY.
PLENTY, PLENTY, PLENTY.
I'LL JUST BUY NEW STUFF.
GOOD-BYE.
CATHY, CATHY.
YOU CAN'T JUST WALK OUT ON ME.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
I LOATHE YOU, CHARLIE.
EVERY DAY WITH YOU WAS LIKE AN ETERNITY IN HELL.
SHH! DO YOU FEEL IT? SHH! DO YOU FEEL IT? I DON'T FEEL IT, CHARLIE.
I NEVER FELT IT! GET YOUR GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF ME! LET ME GO.
LET ME GO.
YOU WANT SOME ADVICE, CHARLIE? EAT A SALAD ONCE IN A WHILE AND TAKE A BATH! CATHY ONE LAST THING.
WHAT? IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU THEN NOBODY CAN.
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, CHARLIE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JUST TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S OK.
JUST PUT THE KNIFE DOWN.
CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN NOW.
CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN NOW.
OK.
CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! CHARLIE, PUT THE KNIFE DOWN.
OK.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NOBODY CAN.
IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NOBODY CAN! IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO BODY CAN! IF I Man: CATHY FINCH WAS A LONELY GIRL WHO WANTED MONEY AND LOVE, AND FOUND CHARLIE MARNO.
SHE MARRIED HIM, FOR SHE HEARD HE WOULD INHERIT A FORTUNE AND THEN DIE.
CHARLIE MARNODIDINHERIT A FORTUNE- FROM CATHY FINCH, AFTER HE MURDERED HER.
THIS IS ERNIE KEPROS, LIVE AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY, WHERE THE PRIEST HAS GIVEN THE LAST RITES AND CHARLIE HAS EATEN HIS LAST MEAL, WHICH, WE UNDERSTAND, IS THE LARGEST ANY DEATH-ROW PRISONER HAS EVER HAD.
THEY'RE ABOUT TO CLOSE THE BLINDS.
THAT WAS- THAT WAS SOMETHING A VIOLENT END FOR A VIOLENT MAN.
I'M ERNIE KEPROS, LIVE AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY, WHERE THE PRIEST HAS GIVEN THE FINAL RITES AND CHARLIE HAS EATEN HIS LAST MEAL.
Vorna: THE DOOR IS OPEN.
Vorna: THE DOOR IS OPEN.
ARE YOU MADAME VORNA? YES, DARLING.
I HEARD YOU CAN TELL THE FUTURE.
SHE HEARD CORRECTLY, DIDN'T SHE, TROTSKY? THE FEE IS $20.
PAY IN ADVANCE.
Crypt Keeper: POOR CATHY.
SHE DID BUY THE BIG ONE, AND THAT CHARLIE, WHAT A CUT-UP.
STILL, HE WASN'T SAD IN THE END.
YOU SEE, WHEN CHARLIE GOT HIS JUST DESSERTS, HE REQUESTED SECONDS! AND NOW I PREDICT THE FUTURE.
NEXT WEEK, YOU'LL BE IN THE SAME TIME, SAME PLACE, SAME STATION FOR ANOTHER HIDEOUS, HATEFUL HALL OF HORROR.