The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s02e01 Episode Script

1 This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins, and I'm Rap Talkwell, your host here on Chattin' Pants Morning Edition.
And today, we're chattin' about the new season of Captain Underpants! But first, let's look back at some highlights from season one.
- Wow, lotta screaming.
- Looks fun.
And as we all remember, season one ended up with you guys being expelled, Mr.
Krupp being fired and grown-up cyborg Melvin traveling back in time from the future and taking over the school.
What is going on here? I didn't authorize a talk show! And who is this guy? Hey, it's Mr.
Krupp, everyone's favorite principal to hate! - Boo! More boo! - Boo! And where is that crowd noise coming from? The My-Hammy-Sound Machine! Boo! You're trespassing! I'm gonna have you all arrested! Tra-la-la! Captain Underpants! - Hey, you're that guy with the mouth.
- I am! So, Cap, how about a spoiler from the first episode of the new season? Okay.
I'm not in it.
- What? - Yeah.
But the show's called Captain Underpants.
Yeah, someone's getting fired, for sure.
Hit play! So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! But they had a mean old principal Who told them what to - Blah, blah, blah, blah - So they got a hypno-ring And first, they made him dance Then, accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet - You're back where you began - Blah, blah, blah Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-la! The Tenuous Takedown of the Tyrannical Teachertrons! Chapter one: Melv-Interruption.
While this may look like Jerome Horwitz Elementary, it is now Melvin Sneedly Elementary, with Snooty Latin Motto Coming Soon.
FYI, I never liked you, Miss Anthrope.
Eliteanati Academy rejected my appeal! They even returned the gift basket of inert gases I sent! What part of "Send muffins" was unclear? - I'm doomed! - No matter.
Once we've turned this school into a world-class institution of learning, Eliteanati will be begging for you, its star student, to attend.
You're right.
And the best part is, no annoyingly vexatious George and Harold to interfere.
Hello, Melvins! What are you doing here? - I expelled you when I took over! - Yeah, we were there.
But we couldn't tell our parents.
They'd kill us! So we pretended to go to school but then did a bunch of really cool things instead.
- We climbed Mt.
Everest.
- Visited the Eiffel Tower.
We even went to the moon! - You're lying! - Yeah, you're right.
When the new school Superintendent, Grace Wain, found out about the whole rulebook thing, she said "Mr.
Krupp's handwritten rules aren't official rules so the expulsion of George Beard and Harold Hutchins is repealed"? - Agh! Foiled by bureaucracy! - How did you not see that coming? There are a lot of moving parts to this plan! I can't think of everything.
But she can't stop me from Melvinizing the school.
We'll make this place the smartest, most superior elementary school anywhere! Because that's what we're doing! So to impress Eliteanati Academy, the Melvins made classes much harder.
Even for the teachers.
Uh, hmm Today we'll be studying, um "Puh-hy-six?" What's that? Physics, you incurious meat sack! Hey! We're learning Melviny stuff? Krupp was bad, but at least when he was here we didn't have to learn.
- We're doomed.
- That you are, you unripe bananas.
Hey.
Here goes.
Uh - I like Puh-hy-six! - This is my new favorite class! This is gym? They got rid of gym class? That was the easiest class we have! P.
E.
is a waste of time.
So instead of hurling projectiles, we'll learn computer science! On.
On.
On.
On, you stupid yeah-yeah-yeah machine.
On! It's not plugged in.
You leave me no yeah-yeah-yeah choice! On! - Turn on! - No.
This is my new favorite class! Ugh! And now we add the, um, magnesium to the acid? Not magnesium.
Chromium, you doorknob with legs! Hey! You created a dimensional vortex! - Whoa! - Okay, this is definitely my new favorite class.
- Ugh What's this stuff? - Synthesized bio-matter nutrient bricks.
Yeah, sounds delicious.
Oh, almost forgot.
We love what you and future you are doing with the school, - so we got you a little gift.
- It's muffins.
- You're not supposed to be enjoying this.
- I am! Humph! Humph! Ugh! Tastes like a driveway.
I don't know.
It's kinda growing on me.
Ooh, what? Minus the food bricks, this Melvinized school is awesome.
Yeah, it's a shame Melvin didn't come from the future and replace Mr.
Krupp years ago.
Mr.
Krupp.
Wonder what he's up to.
Welcome to All Work Warehouse.
Can I help you find something? Like your pants? I'm looking for a principal's desk.
- Is that even a thing? - Are you even a thing? Carl, bogey, ten o'clock.
These so-called teachers know even less than the students! How will I get into Eliteanati like this? You won't.
That's why I'm replacing the teachers.
Oh, muffin basket? Is there a blueberry in there? Replacing them? With who? Chapter two: See You Later, Educator.
Uh, hmm No way she doesn't get hit by that basketball again.
- Seen it.
Let's make a comic.
- I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Well, you're not.
You're Melvin.
I'm George and this is Harold.
Hi, how's it going? - And why are you so happy? - You'll see.
Greetings, raw human material.
I am your new instructor.
- You are obsolete.
- What's that? Whoop! - Whoa.
What is that? - Attention! I have replaced your regular carbon-based teachers with state-of-the-art Teachertron 2000.
For all of you non-Melvins, good luck.
Commencing robotics lesson.
Chapter one.
Zeroth's law states that if two thermodynamic systems - Yes.
Yes.
- Are in equilibrium You know what he's talking about? Not a clue.
Comic time.
Unauthorized creativity.
- Whoa.
What? - Disruption Disrupters.
So good.
"So good?" That's my thing.
Not anymore.
So good! So good! So good! So robots are taking over our yeah-yeah-yeah jobs? - Taking us away from the children? - Affirmative.
Hooray! Remain here until further notice.
Wait, what if we have to go to the yeah-yeah-yeah bathroom? What is a bathroom? You know, it's where you Nah, I guess you don't.
Run for it! - Stop, gym instructor.
- Let him go.
It is a plot point.
What? - Whoa.
This is bad.
- Really bad! - Teachertrons mean no more fun! - Those classes will be super hard.
We get less than a C this year, we can't go to summer camp.
Summer camp! Swimming, s'mores, going outdoors! Summer camp! We gotta get rid of them.
Hey, remember how we pranked Mr.
Fyde so hard he literally went crazy, and now he's a tree? Actually, they accidentally turned Mr.
Fyde into a giant angry walking avocado pit who fell into a hole and grew into an avocado tree, but - But he's a happy tree.
- True.
So we just do that to the Teachertrons.
- But times a million.
- Yes! One of our best pranks! I know! We're Robot Cop.
Even robots aren't above the law.
They're going down! When detecting unusual nanowave signature in the graviton charge limiter, reignite the electron reaction transmitter Robo-hands up, robo-criminal! You're under robo-arrest! We'll go sit down now.
- So what do we do now? - Plan B, start some trouble.
Synthesized bio-matter nutrient bricks fight! Food fight! - Uh Do we have a plan C? - Buddy, we got the whole alphabet.
Those robots just shrugged off our prank storm like they didn't care.
It's like they're robots.
We'll never beat them without Captain Underpants.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I can't believe I'm saying this But we gotta get Krupp back.
Chapter three: Home Is Where The Krupp Isn't.
You think Krupp's here? Well, he's not at school, so it's the only other place he could be.
Probably didn't hear you.
Mr.
Krupp? Mr.
Krupp! It's George and Harold! Open up! You can't ignore us! Mr.
Krupp! Krupp, Krupp, Krupp! It's George and Harold! Mr.
Krupp! Mr.
Krupp! Mr.
Krupp! Krupp, Krupp, Krupp! It's George and Harold! Mr.
Krupp, Mr.
Krupp, Mr.
Krupp! Open up! - He's not here.
- Where else can we look? - No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
No.
- No.
No.
No.
I'm giving you two detention! Sir, the store is closing.
Either leave or buy that desk.
Oh, that's double detention for you! And, I'll take it.
- Where the heck is he? - No idea.
Now what do we do? - Hmm, we find another hero.
- Like who? Yep-yep-yep.
Yep-yep-yep.
Chupacabra? Is that you? This has been a long time coming.
It ends yeah-yeah-yeah tonight.
Whoa! - Hey, Mr.
Meaner.
- Huh? What are you two yeah-yeah Huh? - Okay, when I snap, you'll turn into - Oh, hold on.
Just wanna do something real quick.
When I snap, you'll be a rhythmic gymnast.
So that's a rhythmic gymnast.
Anyway, we got Teachertrons to beat! When we snap, you'll be a superhero named, um - Sergeant Boxers! - Oh, great name.
Whoo, whoa! Too-de-loo! It worked! Here, drink this! - Lucky we've got more super power juice.
- That stuff never runs out.
'Sup, bros? You see the big game last night? Lots of points, right? Sergeant Boxers, we need you to save the day! Bro problemo.
When the big game's on the line, just give me the ball.
No, we need you to be a superhero and beat a bunch of robot teachers.
You lost me.
Are we playing the Chugdale Cheetahs? He doesn't know how to be a superhero.
He's got a sports brain! What do we do? - Make a comic to teach him? - Yes! Chapter four: Sergeant Boxers and the Ruthless Robo-Teachers! By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
One time, these mean robots kicked all the teachers out and took over the school.
They were, like, "Beep, borp! We're robots.
Borp, beep! And we don't like humans.
Now, do math!" It was a real drag because, well math, and because robots are mean and smell like metal and hate dance music.
So Sergeant Boxers showed up and he was all like, "What's up, robos? You wanna fight? Let's do this!" And the robots were all "Beep, bop, borp, borp!" and Sergeant Boxers was, like, "I don't speak robo, so we have to fight.
" So, Sergeant Boxers started punching, but he didn't land any 'cause he was bad at hero-ing.
Then a robot bonked him on the head.
Bonk! And he went asleep and was all like, "Honk, shoe, honk shoe.
Snore.
" Later, Sergeant Boxers woke up with his wallet missing and was all, "This is a problem.
I gotta learn how to hero!" So he cancelled his credit card, called the Hero Helpline.
And guess who answered? Captain Underpants! Tra-la-la! Because it was his shift at the Hero Helpline headquarters.
Sergeant Boxers was all like, "Help! I need hero help!" And Captain Underpants was like, "Mom? How did you get this number?" After they cleared that up, Captain Underpants was like, "Sure, I'll help you with your hero chops.
Right after I go number three.
Don't ask.
" Five hours later, Captain Underpants gave Sergeant Boxers a crash course in waistband warfare.
They were all like, "Pow! Boom! Kerflam!" with wedgies and other wedgies, obstacle courses and squat thrusts and, "Yes, sir! How high, sir?" And chasing greased chickens and lifting volcanos and, "Sir, that chicken bit my finger, I need gauze, sir!" And all sorts of secret underwear training.
And Sergeant Boxers was like, "I think I get it.
Oh, wait, no, I don't.
" So they did wind sprints and worked the heavy bag and walked on coals and peeled potatoes, ate potatoes and cleaned toilets with a toothbrush, yuck, and did shark sparring and Sergeant Boxers was all like, "I get it.
Pretty much.
" So Sergeant Boxers took his boxer bazooka and boxer blasted those bots to Bakersfield.
Bing, bang, bang, bing! Bakersfield! And he was finally a hero and not lying to himself anymore.
Okay, the end! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
- Make sense? - Nope, I can't read! - What? - I work my body, bro, not my brain! But the pictures are pretty.
- Thanks! - Give me that! "And not lying to himself anymore.
The end!" Oh, now I get it.
Wait, no, I don't.
Can you read it again? Please? This happened four more times.
Teachertrons are a success! No surprise, since I invented them.
Actually, I invented them, but same thing.
Soon, Eliteanati will be pleading with me to attend.
I told you everything would work out.
Mr.
Krupp, meantime, was finding life on the outside increasingly difficult and confusing.
I've called you here because I'm the principal of this school and I've had it with your shenanigans! George, you are a menace to this place.
And Harold, you're even worse! Then you reroute the processor through a hyperware external drive to clone an input control.
- Are you okay? - Never felt more binary.
Never felt more bi Maybe not so good.
We told him to meet us here before school.
Where is he? Nothing but net.
Hold on.
I won't let you go.
I wish I had tasted pie before Mother board.
No! So we uncouple the mainframe and reroute its processor through a hyper external drive to clone its input control - Hey, I think I'm actually getting this.
- Seriously, where is this guy? Sorry, macabroni and cheeses, got caught up watching the big game.
- What big game? It's morning! - Breakfast bro-rito? - They had a deal, six for the price of six.
- Can't pass that up! A second underwear-themed superhero? Seriously? Who's the Melvin? Oh, you will regret correctly guessing my name.
And not wearing pants.
Teachertron? Unauthorized food consumption is prohibited.
Cease chewing at once.
Is it game time? Let's do this! Mano y robo! The more, the fightier! - Nothing but net! - Uh-oh.
Chapter five: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter.
Presented in Robo-Rama, to protect your innocence and your eyeballs.
Whoa! This is the ultimate battle of man versus machine! And it looks like man wins! Whoa! The machine's back and he brought a friend! Double machine trouble! Ooh! Whoa! The machines keep rising! It's three to one, no way to win! Oh! Sergeant Boxers wins! Did you see that? Sergeant Boxers crushed those robots! Captain Underpants never wins the O-Ramas! - Maybe boxers are more comfortable? - I'm number one-dy in undies! Not for long.
You didn't think it would be that easy, did you? Nah.
The show's not over.
Unless we're ending it with a music video.
Let's do that! Scrappy H and Smooth Georgie Tickle Are on the boat Aw, yeah.
Singing a song - Nope, we're not doing that.
- We're doing this! - Oh, man! - I beat three bots, I can beat four! Actually, there's five.
What? No, look.
One, two, three, two, four.
See? Um, you added a two.
One, two, three, four, five.
You are way off, bro-tato.
You forgot the other two.
- One, two, three, two, four.
- Five! There are five and that's that.
Okay, Dr.
Abacus.
But I can beat all the robots you've got, even if no one knows how many there are.
Five! But can you defeat them when they're united? Robots unite to form a bigger robot It's a really big robot Introducing, Titano TeacherTronicon Two Thousand-icon! An underwear hero knock-off like you doesn't stand a chance! Someone's been watching Voltron.
Looks like the big game just got bigger.
Who gets the ball first? How do you like that, bro-tassium? That's your A-game? Feels like your other letter game, pie a la brode! Time to bro! I mean go! Hey! Stop them! Is it halftime yet? I could use some orange slices.
Coach, put me back in.
I wanna win the big game.
- Nothing but net.
- What do we do now? Sarge is out of gas and Krupp is probably sitting on a beach eating guacamole.
No! Stop chasing me! I'm your principal! No! - Nothing but net - Wait, the teacher's lounge! Yes! Sarge needs a team! There's no "T" in team! Goal! And breathe like it's summer vacation.
Being locked in here is the highlight of my teaching career - Too-de-loo! - Aw-ww.
- Whoops, I got all of that one.
- Come with us if you wanna live.
But we're alive now.
And happy, for the very first time.
Okay, uh, come with us if you want your old jobs back.
- Pass.
- Okay, then come with us if you want better coffee! Good! And when you're done with the slide, get to work on the swings.
Oh, it's a shame George and Harold aren't here to witness the end of recess.
I know they love it so.
Hello, Melvins! - Ugh, stop doing that! - No underwear hero? There's a new Sergeant in town! Check me out, bro-comotives.
I'm Sergeant Big Boy Boxers, and I am jacked! - Help! - Seriously? I am always serious about being jacked.
Mech versus Monster fight? Color me Melv-intrigued.
Aw.
That sounded much cooler than it actually was.
Tell me about it.
Should we start over? Class dismissed.
Ooh, great line.
But we gotta help Sarge, he's outgunned! Not if we uncouple the robot's mainframe and reroute its processor Through a hyperware external drive to clone an input control! - Yes! - What? I guess all those robot classes soaked into my brain.
Mine, too.
And I wasn't even paying attention! Sarge, let's crash this bot! Here we bro! Get us to the interface panel! Wow, I can't believe I know that! Agh! - Stop! You shouldn't know that! - He's right! The only one who should be learning around here is Melvin! Reroute the protospanner, and done! - Sarge, let's bug out! - Too-de-loo! - Did it work? - No clue.
- Huh! It did work! - Now we can forget all that stuff! No matter, we'll just build bigger, better bots that you can't hack! Each day you're here will be worse than the last! Not on my watch.
Because I'm Grace Wain, the new superintendent.
- Thanks for the video, boys.
- What video? And each day you're here, will be worse than the last! But he literally just said that! Yeah, I was down the street getting breakfast burritos.
- You get the six for six? - I'm hungry, so I'll make this quick.
If you target George and Harold in any way, I'll process your termination forms so fast, it'll make your head spin.
Also, this school isn't zoned for robot teachers yet.
Foiled by idiotic bureaucracy again! I mean, bureaucracy.
Yay.
Seriously, how are you me, but you didn't see this coming? Moving parts! Now lose the bots, and get back to work.
Yes, ma'am.
Nothing but net.
And you! Wash off that face paint and put some pants on! But I'm a superhero! Yes, ma'am.
- Thanks for saving us.
Again.
- Don't thank me.
You two are on thin ice.
No more funny business.
Yes, ma'am! But between us that was epic.
You thinking what I'm thinking? Yup.
Melvin Sneedly Lamementary.
It's Now Cool To Toot.
- It was always cool.
- Nice.
Can you imagine what Krupp would do to us for this? Yeah.
- You know, I kinda miss him.
- Me, too.
And somewhere out there, I bet he misses us.
All right, look, fine, I'm not your principal! Please, let me go! Yagh! No!