The Fall Guy (1981) s02e01 Episode Script
Bail and Bond
(FINGERS SNAPPING) COLT: # Well, I'm hot the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah # I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine! # I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo # But somehow they just don't end up as mine # It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances # I die for a livin' in the movies and TV # But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies # Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee # I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car # 'Cause Iâm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star (FINGERS SNAPPING) # I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty # It's true I hire my body out for pay # Hey, hey # I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch # But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay # Hey, hey # I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine # 'Cause Iâm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine # Mr Sands, so nice to meet you.
I am Mr Swanson's assistant.
If Mr Swanson is having a party, this certainly could have waited.
Business before pleasure.
Yes, I'm hoping to steal a couple of days of Mardi Gras.
Some champagne perhaps? That would be very nice.
May I relieve you of that? Sure, why not? Here you go.
This is worth celebrating.
Fisk, some champagne for a job well done.
Thank you, Mr Sands.
You're welcome.
- To festive days in Rio.
- I'll drink to that.
What is this? Excellent.
Nice to be able to afford the best.
- No need to be in-hospitable.
- Where is it? You know, I never thought I'd ever see that much money.
I didn't actually count it, but by the pound there must be a few million.
I have no time to play games.
Where is the money? What's the big rush? I have to discuss my new partnership with Mr Swanson.
You poor fool.
There is no Mr Swanson.
Your boss used you as an unwitting dupe to courier the money down to us that he was embezzling from his company, Marlowe Industries.
You have 20 seconds to live.
I'll give it back.
Just help me Mr Fisk, we would appear to have made a tactical error.
Find that money.
It can't be too difficult.
Where could he have hidden it? WOMAN: No! Please help me! No! Help! Help! Somebody help! Help! Somebody help Cut and print.
- Good job, Ray.
- You all right, Colt? Oh, what's another pane between friends? Let's have the first team in, lads.
Come along.
Terri's on the phone for you, Colt.
Didn't you tell her I had three days left on the picture? Well, yeah, but you know Terri.
Any reasonable excuse is quickly rejected.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Hey, Colt.
- Tell her I'll be right there.
- Okay.
I got the watch ready.
- Hey, a new toy, huh? - Yeah.
Careful how you handle it, now.
This button will arm it.
And this one'll set it off.
We can't make all these big spy pictures without all the toys, and you've gotta know how to use them.
You mean if somebody asks me the time of day, -don't give it to them.
- No, no! And be very careful with this lighter.
It's really a flamethrower.
- Cute.
- Colt, Terri says to get a move on.
- It's costing her 4 bucks a minute.
- All right.
- Thanks, Al.
- Okay.
Thanks, Jody.
Hey, I know you miss me, but a postcard sure could have saved you a bundle.
TERRY.
Hello, Colt, how are you? Well, considering I just went through a window, had a wreck yesterday, two fights, three shoot-outs I'd love to hear your résumé, but Okay, who'd you misplace this time? Well, normally I wouldn't dream of interfering with your career.
But where you are now is exactly where she's heading.
Who is she? Oh, a little lady who helped her boss run down south with $5 million.
5 million! She came to Rio? Well, first her boss went down, and then she followed him down south.
His name is Sands.
James Sands.
You find him, you'll find her.
You know, Brazil doesn't honor extradition.
Are you willing to spring for private transportation? I'm on the hook for 50,000.
I suppose it's a worthwhile investment.
Well, I'll try to keep I': under 50.
You're kidding, aren't you? Well, we've still got a couple of days to work on this picture.
But then the extra money will probably come in handy.
Sounds like you've got a deal.
What's the girl's name? Her name is Marnie Greer.
She is 28.
Blonde.
Attractive.
I guarantee you'll like her.
Yeah, I've heard that before.
What about Sands? Oh, he's not my problem.
She was the one that I bailed out.
You might try the Hotel Esplanade.
That's where he is, or was, staying.
All right.
Anything I can bring you back from Rio? I mean, aside from this Miss Greer.
Oh, well, if you see any good-looking gauchos, you might throw one on the plane.
Mine's wearing out.
Well, maybe you should oil them more often.
HOWIE: Colt, we can't exactly slap the cuffs on her and drag her around with us.
COLT: I just wanna know where to find her when we get ready to leave.
- Hi, ladies.
- Oh, hi! - Excuse me.
-Si, senores, how may I help you? - Do you have a Marnie Greer registered here? - Yes, she is.
And how about a James Sands? Sands? Yes, Sen/var Sands is checked out.
You mean they weren't together? You will excuse me, please, senores, but, of course, I am not at liberty to say.
Oh, but of course.
Maybe this'll free up your liberty.
They were not together.
Were they in touch? Were they It seems that Senorita Greer is most anxious to be, as you say, in touch.
I didn't catch the room number.
- You got any cruzeiros? - You will excuse me for a moment, senores.
- That's it? - This is the assistant manager.
There are two men asking after Sands and the sen/writs.
American.
No.
No, they do not know her.
Got the room number? Room 820.
- You've been swell.
Obrgato.
-"Obri" and out.
Look, kid, let me take this one alone.
I don't want to crowd the lady, just want to make contact.
You understand? Okay.
That's fine.
And I'll see if I can make contact by the pool.
Excuse me, ladies.
- Marnie Greer? - Yes.
I'm a friend of Jim Sands.
Really? Won't you come in, Mr Seavers.
Colt Seavers.
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
Forgive my appearance, but I just got out of the bath.
Well, that's okay.
That's okay.
- James never mentioned you.
- You see, I'm a pilot.
A private pilot.
You know, you're not exactly what I was expecting either.
Are you pleased or disappointed? Oh, no, nothing like that.
It's just that James said that you were blonde.
And it looks like a little brunette sneaking out from under the towel there.
Colt, you've been peeking.
- You haven't answered my question.
- Oh, I find you very pleasing.
- I usually get a little more enthusiasm.
-Well, I'm a slow starter.
But I bet you can go the distance.
I think I'll make another change.
Oh, don't be uncomfortable on my account.
You're really doing that secret agent movie? My partner's done the last five.
- Oh, I bet you're 008.
- Well, actually, we're both stuntmen.
Really? COUNTESS'.
Coâ? Would you join me? Sure.
Look, I just dropped by to say hello.
I was in the neighborhood.
COUNTESS: Colt, please.
Wouldn't you know it, I left my flashlight in my other suit.
Are you in there? Hey, lady, are you still there? There you are.
Don't you like me any more? ROLFE: You're a dead man.
(GRUNT $3 Sorry, I think I got the wrong room.
You should see this guy take a punch, or a fall, or a kick.
I mean, you'd think the guy was getting killed! And he's constantly perfecting his craft.
Like this morning, he took a dive right through a window.
But it's not the kind of thing you do without a lot of practice.
(SCREAMING) Oh, my God! It's Colt! HOWIE: Colt, are you okay? What are you doing, Colt? You could have been killed.
I tried to commit suicide, and missed the shallow end.
Colt, if she wasn't Marnie Greer, who was she? I don't know, but she had all the right answers.
Kid, be careful, or the jolly Green Giant will stomp your beanstalk.
Well, what have we here? (GREETING IN PORTUGUESE) You are the Flying Wallenda.
Oh, I can explain that.
Inspector Alisandro Oporto.
Rio de Janeiro police.
You will please to come with me.
Well, wait a minute.
I can vouch for this man.
Good.
You may come, too.
OPORTOI You are in grave difficulty.
Look, I'll pay my share of the damages, but I think Godzilla owes the bigger half.
I refer to Sen/var Sands.
You know where Sands is? He's downstairs in my freezer.
- Dead? - I hope so.
- You can't hang that on me.
- Why not? Why does a stuntman ask after him? You see, I have a little sideline.
I'm a bounty hunter.
I know you don't honor extradition down here, but We also do not honor kidnapping.
As a matter of fact, in Brazil, kidnapping is a capital of fence.
A capital of fence? Was Sen/var Sands your bounty? No.
No.
No, I'm after a girl named Marnie Greer.
She and Sands pulled a little number back home, but I wouldn't let anything like that complicate my life.
My only complication is the man in my freezer.
Well, I'm sure a few well-placed phone calls could clear that right up.
Sen/var, the only thing that would clear this up for me is another suspect.
And until you or I find such a person, -you are he.
- Howie, no - Nobody told me it was a movie prop.
- I know.
- I was trying to be polite.
- I know.
- I always try to help.
- I know.
We could die in here and nobody'd even know.
I know.
Is that all you're gonna say? No.
There's one other thing.
You're going to tell me that if we ever get out of here, you're going to kill me.
You know it.
All right, gentlemen, are you willing to cooperate? - Yes, what do you want us to do? - I want you to meet someone.
Not an executioner, I hope.
No, as a matter of fact, we have located someone far more attractive.
Someone you have an interest in.
We have just picked up Miss Marnie Greer.
Senor Seavers, Senor Munson, Senorita Greer.
This gentleman tells me that you are a fugitive from American justice.
I didn't steal anything.
That's why I'm in Rio.
Mr Sands and I went out a couple of times.
But, believe me, that's all.
It is assumed Sen/var Sands was transporting a great deal of money to the Countess Vitti, a rather vile woman who traffics in everything sordid.
And one of her specialties is, how would you say, clean the money.
Laundering.
Si, But something was not right with her business with Sands.
Wouldn't you say, Sen/var Seavers? To tell you the truth, I've got no interest in the money.
- It's not our problem.
- I have made it your problem.
Look, I don't even want the girl.
ALL I want to do is finish my movie and be able to say, "Adios amigos.
âYou know? Hold up your horse, sen/var.
You forget the small matter of murder.
You know I had nothing to do with that.
I know what I want to know.
I want the Countess, and you will help me.
- You're kidding! - No.
You could convince her that you have the money.
Perhaps give the impression of a man with new found wealth.
Yeah, and when she kills me to get it, you'll get her! - My plan exactly.
- Yeah, well, it's not my plan.
Senor Seavers, then you refuse to cooperate with me, the Brazilian police? COUNTESS".
There was to be no communication for two months.
Relax, Countess, everything's smooth here.
How's my money? I do not have it.
What? What are you talking about? Your courier decided to go into business for himself.
Sands? He never even knew what was in the bags.
You underestimated his curiosity.
What did he tell you? He didn't have much time to talk.
- Do you know your secretary is here? - Marnie? I don't understand.
Perhaps she did not like taking the blame.
Or perhaps she and Sands had an arrangement after all.
Look, I'm coming down there.
You are to stay right there.
I have my way of taking care of these little inconveniences.
And I will make the next call.
- Miss Wright.
- Yes, Mr Macklowe? I've decided to close the Swanson deal myself.
Book me on a flight to Rio.
Looking back on it, you know, that proposition didn't seem so bad after all.
Kid, that Contessa and her ghoul friend are killers.
They threw me out of an eighth-story window.
A minor misunderstanding.
Especially considering that we might have to spend the rest of our lives in a place like this.
Nobody even knows we're here.
Meaning you're willing to take a chance and try to fool a wise old bird like the Contessa? Why not? Kid, she knows every trick in the book.
She probably wrote it.
I mean, we're in over our heads in her league.
She probably taught the mob how to launder money.
As a matter of fact, they are some of her best customers.
Now then, about that arrangement - No.
- Yes.
I'll do it.
I'll try to convince the Contessa that I found the money.
Colt can stay here until I set her up for you.
You mean you'll do that for me? All by yourself? Well, hey, you're always sticking your neck out for me.
Isn't it about time this became a real partnership? All right, Oporto, you got a deal.
We'll both help you under one condition.
- You're in no position to bargain.
- Oh, yes, we are.
You want us to risk our lives to help you repay an old debt.
We want what we came after.
- The girl? - That's it.
You release her to us in our custody.
We deliver the Contessa, you let us take Marnie Greer out of Brazil, no questions asked.
That could be arranged, unofficially, of course.
However, I suggest that we safely tuck her away in one of our jails, where she wouldn't get in your way until your half of the bargain is completed.
Not in these jails you won't.
If the guards don't get her, the inmates and rats will.
That's very charitable for a bounty hunter.
All right, the girl is released in your custody.
I trust you know what you are doing.
MARNIE: Do you have to drive so fast? COLT: Look, I got a big stunt on this road tomorrow.
- I'm trying to get the feel.
- Well, why do I have to be here? Because I told you, I'm not letting you out of my sight.
I'm innocent.
You're supposed to help me.
Hey, I'm gonna help myself.
You just hope some of it rubs off.
- Colt, hi! What's the good word? - Murder.
You don't mean Marnie Greer? No, but you're close.
It's going to be a woman.
Colt, what are you talking about? I'm talking about you.
Sands is dead all right, but you're next.
Me? What did I do? Well, you told me to snatch and grab a girl in a country with no extradition.
Well, so what's the big deal? Everyone knows Rio has no extradition.
Oh, you bet.
Does everybody know what the authorities do to you down here if you're caught trying to bend that law? Colt, I can't imagine what you're talking about.
Oh, yes, you can.
You told me you were only working for Big jack to put you through law school.
Now, you know damn well what they do to you if you try to kidnap somebody down here.
- Refresh my memory.
- They shoot you! It's a capital crime.
Colt, I'm sure they give you a trial.
That's it.
You can forget about Marnie Greer and your $50,000.
Oh, Colt, wait.
No, don't hang up, please.
You're right.
I should have mentioned the minor inconveniences of Brazilian law.
- I'm sorry.
- Minor inconveniences? You call "dead" a minor inconvenience? What do you want from me? Name it, you got it.
Terri, I'm only going to go through with this because I got no choice, and because I want to live to get my hands on you.
Okay, what's our next step? Our next step is for you to send me some seed money.
What kind of money? Don't talk.
just listen.
I've gotta make some phony Contessa think I found the money Sands stole from Macklowe Industries.
That means you have to send me $20,000 by tonight.
20,000! Now, you get it to my hotel before dark, or you can forget about Marnie Greer, and worry about me.
Colt, that Contessa obviously doesn't fool around if she killed Sands.
Yeah, well, neither do the police.
You heard what that Inspector said.
I know.
What if we let him think that we're going to help him out, and then we slip away in the middle of the night? Kid, just how do you propose we do that? We could rent a plane with the money that Terri sends.
That would be taking money under false pretenses.
Right.
I like it.
Oh, great, that makes me feel a lot better.
Terri had no business putting us in the middle of a bunch of international gangsters.
Well, that's right! If we get out of here, we just tell her we couldn't get Miss Greer out of the country.
That's it.
- Yeah, we owe her one.
- That's right.
And the next time Terri tries to put one over on us by telling us it's a simple job, she'll think twice! That's right! California, here we come! Mr Seavers, I was looking for you.
I trust you are making arrangements to convince the Contessa that you have the money.
Oh, yeah.
I got right on it soon as I got back.
- Right, kid? - Right.
We just got off the phone.
We sent for some seed money.
Just to go along with your charade, I've put word out on the street that we are convinced that you have the money, and we're offering a large reward to anyone who can prove it, or bring you back with the cash.
- You did what? - Every crook in Brazil's gonna be on our case.
True.
But on the other hand, if you were to approach someone to help you, shall we say, to leave the country, you would have to think twice about trusting them.
Well, if we try to leave, someone'll put a knife to our throats for the money.
If we stay here, somebody'll put a knife to our throats for the money.
But here, I would be able to protect you from them.
- I got one question.
- And what is that? Who protects us from you? You have a wonderful sense of humor.
Happy hunting, and good luck with the Contessa.
Mr Lang, can I see you for a minute? I've got Double 0's prop tux ready to go here.
Would you like to see how it's rigged? Yeah.
Good idea, Al.
It'll help me plan my shots.
I'm already behind schedule.
Well, it's really very simple.
If you'll just hold this up like he's wearing it Now, for the encounter with Dr Zero, he simply raises his arm and a spray gun shoots this deadly stream of white acid right into the henchman's face.
See that? So, where's the gun? Here.
Put your arm in here.
Cock your arm as if to shake hands.
Very good.
And where's the bird that's going to carry the secret microdot out of Dr Zero's castle? Take the handkerchief out of your pocket.
There's something in there.
Oh, it's the bird.
Yes, indeed.
Yes, indeed.
- That's my friend.
- Very good.
All right, Al.
Now, we're going to shoot this scene first thing in the morning, and I want you to make sure that nobody touches these props.
- You got it.
- Okay.
Come on, sweetheart.
Great, huh? We'll look like a couple of Texas millionaires.
- Yeah.
They're great, but where'd you - Wardrobe.
I checked the schedule.
They don't need them back till morning.
Well, I hope you're right.
That last scene with Roger won't exactly come off if he has to play it in his underwear.
Oh, we'll have them back before the cock crows.
There you go.
(DOVE cooing) - Did you say something? - I didn't say anything.
- Yeah, you did.
You said, "Who?" - No, I didn't.
(DOVE cooing) - Are you complaining about something? - Oh, no.
I like being locked in a hot motor home.
Yeah, you better enjoy it.
You won't like jail any better.
Here, put this on.
That? Why? - You're coming with us to the casino.
-just try and make me.
- Sure, I'd be glad to help.
- Hey! I can dress myself.
Colt! Where you going with that car? It's all rigged for the big stunt tomorrow.
It's a tricky road, boss.
You know what they say, practice makes perfect.
(INCOHERENT CHATTERING) Well, I feel lucky tonight.
How about 5,000 to start, huh? - Yes, sir.
- There we go.
I'll try this color here.
Okay, let her spin.
I'm here to win.
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH) Don't that give you the shivers, darling? All right, 5,000 more on the other color.
Let her go, and pay the dough.
Are you here alone, honey? Hey, what you see is what you get.
Imported prime from Compton, California.
You cute little bug, you.
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH) Honey, what do you say we get out of here and go paint the town red, huh? Lady Delgado does not speak English, but I do.
Why don't we go someplace and paint the town? Now you're talking.
Fisk! Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Here All right, Seavers, out.
- I'll be back.
- I'll be here.
Spending money.
Want to buy a bird? - I'm going to kill him.
- Don't be an imbecile.
No lowly pilot comes into a casino like this, throwing around $5,000 bets.
- He does.
- Don't you realise what that means? - The missing money.
- Of course.
Then why draw attention to himself? He knows who we are.
He knows what we do to people we don't like.
Yes.
He is obviously well-informed, which means he knows we're the only ones who can convert his recently stolen money into currency that can't be traced.
What do you want me to do? Tell Mr Seavers I get the message.
Bring him to me.
Boy, howdy, I don't think I could pick out the right color of a pair of lips sucking grapes.
All right, Seavers, you've made your point.
- Mind stepping this way? - Hey, I'm not finished.
Yes, you are.
The Contessa wants to see you.
In private.
Since you put it that way Inspector Alisandro Oporto.
Mr Munson, do you read me? - Loud and clear.
- OPORTO: Good, now get out of there.
I can't leave now.
Colt's in with the Contessa.
Precisely why you must leave.
They must think that he's alone and completely vulnerable, so either they can work a deal with him for the money, or try to kill him for it.
- Kill him! - Nothing will happen.
My men are scattered all around the grounds, waiting only for my command to move in.
All right.
We'll go outside, but we're not going to go far.
Not with Colt in there with those creeps.
As you wish.
But I assure you, he couldn't be safer if I were at his side.
I'm in complete control.
Come on, we're heading out by the car for appearance's sake.
What exactly is your game, Mr Seavers? Well, it obviously isn't roulette.
I thought I could establish a little credit.
And your collateral? Got a brand-new set of wheels.
You'd be amazed at how expensive cars are down here.
Judging by the rather large amount of money you are losing in my casino, you seem to have found something that may belong to me.
Listen, a lot of folks could take issue with that claim.
What is your claim? Well, I'm not greedy.
Twenty percent.
I will need time.
Yeah, well, I don't want to press you, but I do have my eye on a brand-new Learjet which I just may use to fly out of here.
Happy flying- Sorry, my dance card is filled.
Now, don't do anything I'll regret.
Now, just to show you my heart is in the right spot, I'm not going to put you to all that trouble of throwing me out the window again.
No.
This time, I'd rather do it myself.
Don't just stand there.
After him! He's got our money.
Rolfe! Come on! We'll get them.
You don't mind if I smoke, do you? - Nice try, Colt.
- What's happening? They didn't buy my acting, so I'm back to driving.
Colt, isn't this the area that we scouted the other day? - That's right.
- Well, it goes nowhere! In fact, we're about out of road right now! Well, hang on to your seat belt.
(ALL SCREAMING) I knew I should have stayed in school! Don't jump, kid, you could get killed.
How in the hell did they do that? I can't be dead.
I have a terrible headache.
We're just about to the main floor.
HOWIE: Colt, are we dead? COLT: Well, if we are, it's awful dark where we went.
Yeah, we're gonna look in Sands' old room.
MARNIE: This is breaking and entering, you know.
Do you see me breaking anything? This room's already been searched.
Yeah, well, sometimes you overlook the obvious.
5 million is pretty obvious.
What if somebody comes? We'll tell them we're from housekeeping.
- What are you doing now? - I'm looking for lumps.
Look around the window ledges.
I'm going to check the plumbing in the bathroom.
MAN: Give me the key, dear.
WOMAN: You've got it.
Frankly, Cynthia, a cottage in Brighton would have done quite nicely.
All right, Alfred.
I'm going to draw my bath.
(HUMMING) (SCREAMS) Maintenance.
just a slight leak in the shower.
We have it all fixed now.
Hi.
Would you like those pressed? Oh, all right.
- Everything shipshape, Greer? - Seem to be plenty of hangers.
Oh, well, good.
If you need anything, don't hesitate to call.
Have a fun Mardi Gras.
We'll deliver the paper in the morning, okay? Good night.
I say.
Thanks for the change.
I was beginning to feel like a head waiter.
I stopped by at the front desk on my way in and picked up Sands' bill.
Well, that was very sporting of you, kid.
No, I didn't pay it.
I just brought a copy.
I thought it might tell us something.
You can tell he was on an expense account.
A bottle of that expensive champagne, Dom what's-his-name.
Local calls, television set.
- Television? - They're extra.
I didn't see a television set in his room.
Well, he didn't pay his bill.
Maybe they repossessed the TV.
Maybe the desk can tell us where they keep them.
Come on.
I am not going anywhere! I need a bath and a fresh change of clothes.
I know my rights.
All right, kid.
You stay with her.
But don't trust her.
But wait a minute, Colt.
I stopped by the set and brought along some extra artillery.
No, no.
I've had enough props.
Just cross your fingers I come back with some fresh spending money.
MAN: The rental television sets are moved from room to room as requested by our guests.
According to my records, sen/var, that set is now in room 731.
Thank you.
MARNIE: Howie, could you do me a favor? Scrub your back? Would you get my pink dress out of the closet? Sure.
I don't see anything pink.
It's way over on the left.
HOWIE: Marnie? Marnie! (HOWIE BANGING DOOR) What are you doing? Marnie, when I get my hands on you Open this door! - Hello? - TV repair.
TV okay.
No problem.
I'm sorry.
I still gotta check.
I just take the calls.
Look at that picture.
It's terrible.
- No turn on.
-"No turn on" is right.
(MAN SPEAKING JAPANESE) I don't understand.
I'll have it fixed in just a minute.
By the way, no service charge for this call.
Keep filling the bag.
On the floor.
How stupid of me not to look over my shoulder.
You have done very well, amigo.
just keep filling the bag.
I knew I was right about you.
You're all in this together! Don't you move, or I'll shoot! Now, you just stop Now, go back and report this to your Countess.
Tell her I'm still willing to make a deal, but now I want 40%.
I said I was sorry.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) I'll get it.
Colt, you saved my life.
Yeah, well, anybody can make a mistake.
You made me miscount again.
Well, ole, ole! And ole' to you, too.
Here are your costumes.
Costumes? For what? We finish the movie tonight if it's not too big of an inconvenience.
No, I've had about all the fun I can stand.
Listen, I'd be happy to take some of that fun off your hands.
Hello? - Marnie, it's Charles Macklowe.
- Mr Macklowe.
Where are you? In my office.
Oh, you sound so close.
Marnie, the police informed me that you'd left the country.
Mr Sands could have cleared me.
Well, you'll never find him with all that money he stole.
Oh, but I did find him.
- He's dead.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
But this friend of mine found your money for you.
Well, that's good news.
Yeah.
Well, he has to pretend he's giving it to this countess lady, so the police can catch her.
Next time you see me, I'll probably have your money.
That would be most welcome.
Goodbye.
Countess, we're in business.
I suggest you make the deal with this Seavers.
- Wait for us, driver.
- Okay, Colt.
Oh, sim, senor.
Mr Seavers, so nice to see you again.
Well, the pleasure is all yours, Countess.
Now, this is Miss Greer.
I believe you had the pleasure of wrecking her room.
- How do you do? - Hi.
Miss Greer is the partner of Mr Sands.
I'm sure the confusion could have been eliminated if Mr Sands had not departed so untimely.
MARNIE: Do you kill everybody you do business with? COUNTESS: Only the dispensable ones.
Then let us conclude our business.
I presume that is the money.
Yes.
3 million.
I took my cut.
I wanted to save you the trouble of counting.
COUNTESS: How thoughtful of you.
(ELECTRONIC HUMMING) Do you have another appointment? A friend promised to drop by.
I don't want to miss him.
If it was the police, I'm afraid you're in for a disappointment.
Well, in that case, we'll be on our way.
You see, I knew he wouldn't be any fun.
What made you think you could help yourself to $2 million? You know, I said that very same thing to my partner.
So we figured we'd cover ourselves with a little short note to the local police in case negotiations broke down.
An old scheme not worthy of you.
Oh, but very effective.
I mean, you know Inspector Oporto? He's been after you a long time.
And speaking of time, if our other partner doesn't see us in 10 minutes, he's gonna drop the letter into the old mailbox.
Is that the one who drove you here? Well, he has been momentarily occupied.
Guess time is short.
As they say, time is money! - Where the hell's Oporto? - And Howie.
Get in the cab! Let's go.
I'll drive.
Where the devil is Seavers? He was supposed to have been here at 7:00 a.
m.
Oh, don't worry.
We'll find him.
You know, everybody's out looking for him.
Colt, you've won me over.
I'm finally glad you drive like a madman.
They still there? (MARNIE SCREAMS) There's a bonus in it if you lose them.
Mr Macklowe, what are you doing here? Protecting my investment.
I believe this is mine.
I was wondering when you'd show up.
Well, that's it! He's through! Finished! Kaput! I'll never use him again! All right, where we going? A private airport, about 10 miles right out the main street.
There's a parade up ahead.
I know a shortcut.
(CROWD CHATTERING) Hang on.
Call off the search, I think I just found him.
Great shortcut.
Oh, God, here comes the Abominable Snowman.
(MARNIE SCREAMS) Don't! - Is any of this in the script? - No.
Actually, it's pretty good.
Let's shoot it.
Roll them.
Roll camera.
Colt, Macklowe's getting away! Yeah, well, I'll just be a minute! Bring it down! Bring it down! Keep him busy, kid.
I think I got his attention, Colt! Look! On the roof! What is he doing now? Colt was never big on stairs.
It worked.
Who the hell are you? Would you believe Superman III? (PEOPLE CLAMOURING) Thank you for the confession, Countess.
I've waited for this moment, well, since Waterloo.
Oh, Colt, you were magnificent! Well, I could have told him.
A lot safer to carry travelerâs cheques.
I am Mr Swanson's assistant.
If Mr Swanson is having a party, this certainly could have waited.
Business before pleasure.
Yes, I'm hoping to steal a couple of days of Mardi Gras.
Some champagne perhaps? That would be very nice.
May I relieve you of that? Sure, why not? Here you go.
This is worth celebrating.
Fisk, some champagne for a job well done.
Thank you, Mr Sands.
You're welcome.
- To festive days in Rio.
- I'll drink to that.
What is this? Excellent.
Nice to be able to afford the best.
- No need to be in-hospitable.
- Where is it? You know, I never thought I'd ever see that much money.
I didn't actually count it, but by the pound there must be a few million.
I have no time to play games.
Where is the money? What's the big rush? I have to discuss my new partnership with Mr Swanson.
You poor fool.
There is no Mr Swanson.
Your boss used you as an unwitting dupe to courier the money down to us that he was embezzling from his company, Marlowe Industries.
You have 20 seconds to live.
I'll give it back.
Just help me Mr Fisk, we would appear to have made a tactical error.
Find that money.
It can't be too difficult.
Where could he have hidden it? WOMAN: No! Please help me! No! Help! Help! Somebody help! Help! Somebody help Cut and print.
- Good job, Ray.
- You all right, Colt? Oh, what's another pane between friends? Let's have the first team in, lads.
Come along.
Terri's on the phone for you, Colt.
Didn't you tell her I had three days left on the picture? Well, yeah, but you know Terri.
Any reasonable excuse is quickly rejected.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Hey, Colt.
- Tell her I'll be right there.
- Okay.
I got the watch ready.
- Hey, a new toy, huh? - Yeah.
Careful how you handle it, now.
This button will arm it.
And this one'll set it off.
We can't make all these big spy pictures without all the toys, and you've gotta know how to use them.
You mean if somebody asks me the time of day, -don't give it to them.
- No, no! And be very careful with this lighter.
It's really a flamethrower.
- Cute.
- Colt, Terri says to get a move on.
- It's costing her 4 bucks a minute.
- All right.
- Thanks, Al.
- Okay.
Thanks, Jody.
Hey, I know you miss me, but a postcard sure could have saved you a bundle.
TERRY.
Hello, Colt, how are you? Well, considering I just went through a window, had a wreck yesterday, two fights, three shoot-outs I'd love to hear your résumé, but Okay, who'd you misplace this time? Well, normally I wouldn't dream of interfering with your career.
But where you are now is exactly where she's heading.
Who is she? Oh, a little lady who helped her boss run down south with $5 million.
5 million! She came to Rio? Well, first her boss went down, and then she followed him down south.
His name is Sands.
James Sands.
You find him, you'll find her.
You know, Brazil doesn't honor extradition.
Are you willing to spring for private transportation? I'm on the hook for 50,000.
I suppose it's a worthwhile investment.
Well, I'll try to keep I': under 50.
You're kidding, aren't you? Well, we've still got a couple of days to work on this picture.
But then the extra money will probably come in handy.
Sounds like you've got a deal.
What's the girl's name? Her name is Marnie Greer.
She is 28.
Blonde.
Attractive.
I guarantee you'll like her.
Yeah, I've heard that before.
What about Sands? Oh, he's not my problem.
She was the one that I bailed out.
You might try the Hotel Esplanade.
That's where he is, or was, staying.
All right.
Anything I can bring you back from Rio? I mean, aside from this Miss Greer.
Oh, well, if you see any good-looking gauchos, you might throw one on the plane.
Mine's wearing out.
Well, maybe you should oil them more often.
HOWIE: Colt, we can't exactly slap the cuffs on her and drag her around with us.
COLT: I just wanna know where to find her when we get ready to leave.
- Hi, ladies.
- Oh, hi! - Excuse me.
-Si, senores, how may I help you? - Do you have a Marnie Greer registered here? - Yes, she is.
And how about a James Sands? Sands? Yes, Sen/var Sands is checked out.
You mean they weren't together? You will excuse me, please, senores, but, of course, I am not at liberty to say.
Oh, but of course.
Maybe this'll free up your liberty.
They were not together.
Were they in touch? Were they It seems that Senorita Greer is most anxious to be, as you say, in touch.
I didn't catch the room number.
- You got any cruzeiros? - You will excuse me for a moment, senores.
- That's it? - This is the assistant manager.
There are two men asking after Sands and the sen/writs.
American.
No.
No, they do not know her.
Got the room number? Room 820.
- You've been swell.
Obrgato.
-"Obri" and out.
Look, kid, let me take this one alone.
I don't want to crowd the lady, just want to make contact.
You understand? Okay.
That's fine.
And I'll see if I can make contact by the pool.
Excuse me, ladies.
- Marnie Greer? - Yes.
I'm a friend of Jim Sands.
Really? Won't you come in, Mr Seavers.
Colt Seavers.
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
Forgive my appearance, but I just got out of the bath.
Well, that's okay.
That's okay.
- James never mentioned you.
- You see, I'm a pilot.
A private pilot.
You know, you're not exactly what I was expecting either.
Are you pleased or disappointed? Oh, no, nothing like that.
It's just that James said that you were blonde.
And it looks like a little brunette sneaking out from under the towel there.
Colt, you've been peeking.
- You haven't answered my question.
- Oh, I find you very pleasing.
- I usually get a little more enthusiasm.
-Well, I'm a slow starter.
But I bet you can go the distance.
I think I'll make another change.
Oh, don't be uncomfortable on my account.
You're really doing that secret agent movie? My partner's done the last five.
- Oh, I bet you're 008.
- Well, actually, we're both stuntmen.
Really? COUNTESS'.
Coâ? Would you join me? Sure.
Look, I just dropped by to say hello.
I was in the neighborhood.
COUNTESS: Colt, please.
Wouldn't you know it, I left my flashlight in my other suit.
Are you in there? Hey, lady, are you still there? There you are.
Don't you like me any more? ROLFE: You're a dead man.
(GRUNT $3 Sorry, I think I got the wrong room.
You should see this guy take a punch, or a fall, or a kick.
I mean, you'd think the guy was getting killed! And he's constantly perfecting his craft.
Like this morning, he took a dive right through a window.
But it's not the kind of thing you do without a lot of practice.
(SCREAMING) Oh, my God! It's Colt! HOWIE: Colt, are you okay? What are you doing, Colt? You could have been killed.
I tried to commit suicide, and missed the shallow end.
Colt, if she wasn't Marnie Greer, who was she? I don't know, but she had all the right answers.
Kid, be careful, or the jolly Green Giant will stomp your beanstalk.
Well, what have we here? (GREETING IN PORTUGUESE) You are the Flying Wallenda.
Oh, I can explain that.
Inspector Alisandro Oporto.
Rio de Janeiro police.
You will please to come with me.
Well, wait a minute.
I can vouch for this man.
Good.
You may come, too.
OPORTOI You are in grave difficulty.
Look, I'll pay my share of the damages, but I think Godzilla owes the bigger half.
I refer to Sen/var Sands.
You know where Sands is? He's downstairs in my freezer.
- Dead? - I hope so.
- You can't hang that on me.
- Why not? Why does a stuntman ask after him? You see, I have a little sideline.
I'm a bounty hunter.
I know you don't honor extradition down here, but We also do not honor kidnapping.
As a matter of fact, in Brazil, kidnapping is a capital of fence.
A capital of fence? Was Sen/var Sands your bounty? No.
No.
No, I'm after a girl named Marnie Greer.
She and Sands pulled a little number back home, but I wouldn't let anything like that complicate my life.
My only complication is the man in my freezer.
Well, I'm sure a few well-placed phone calls could clear that right up.
Sen/var, the only thing that would clear this up for me is another suspect.
And until you or I find such a person, -you are he.
- Howie, no - Nobody told me it was a movie prop.
- I know.
- I was trying to be polite.
- I know.
- I always try to help.
- I know.
We could die in here and nobody'd even know.
I know.
Is that all you're gonna say? No.
There's one other thing.
You're going to tell me that if we ever get out of here, you're going to kill me.
You know it.
All right, gentlemen, are you willing to cooperate? - Yes, what do you want us to do? - I want you to meet someone.
Not an executioner, I hope.
No, as a matter of fact, we have located someone far more attractive.
Someone you have an interest in.
We have just picked up Miss Marnie Greer.
Senor Seavers, Senor Munson, Senorita Greer.
This gentleman tells me that you are a fugitive from American justice.
I didn't steal anything.
That's why I'm in Rio.
Mr Sands and I went out a couple of times.
But, believe me, that's all.
It is assumed Sen/var Sands was transporting a great deal of money to the Countess Vitti, a rather vile woman who traffics in everything sordid.
And one of her specialties is, how would you say, clean the money.
Laundering.
Si, But something was not right with her business with Sands.
Wouldn't you say, Sen/var Seavers? To tell you the truth, I've got no interest in the money.
- It's not our problem.
- I have made it your problem.
Look, I don't even want the girl.
ALL I want to do is finish my movie and be able to say, "Adios amigos.
âYou know? Hold up your horse, sen/var.
You forget the small matter of murder.
You know I had nothing to do with that.
I know what I want to know.
I want the Countess, and you will help me.
- You're kidding! - No.
You could convince her that you have the money.
Perhaps give the impression of a man with new found wealth.
Yeah, and when she kills me to get it, you'll get her! - My plan exactly.
- Yeah, well, it's not my plan.
Senor Seavers, then you refuse to cooperate with me, the Brazilian police? COUNTESS".
There was to be no communication for two months.
Relax, Countess, everything's smooth here.
How's my money? I do not have it.
What? What are you talking about? Your courier decided to go into business for himself.
Sands? He never even knew what was in the bags.
You underestimated his curiosity.
What did he tell you? He didn't have much time to talk.
- Do you know your secretary is here? - Marnie? I don't understand.
Perhaps she did not like taking the blame.
Or perhaps she and Sands had an arrangement after all.
Look, I'm coming down there.
You are to stay right there.
I have my way of taking care of these little inconveniences.
And I will make the next call.
- Miss Wright.
- Yes, Mr Macklowe? I've decided to close the Swanson deal myself.
Book me on a flight to Rio.
Looking back on it, you know, that proposition didn't seem so bad after all.
Kid, that Contessa and her ghoul friend are killers.
They threw me out of an eighth-story window.
A minor misunderstanding.
Especially considering that we might have to spend the rest of our lives in a place like this.
Nobody even knows we're here.
Meaning you're willing to take a chance and try to fool a wise old bird like the Contessa? Why not? Kid, she knows every trick in the book.
She probably wrote it.
I mean, we're in over our heads in her league.
She probably taught the mob how to launder money.
As a matter of fact, they are some of her best customers.
Now then, about that arrangement - No.
- Yes.
I'll do it.
I'll try to convince the Contessa that I found the money.
Colt can stay here until I set her up for you.
You mean you'll do that for me? All by yourself? Well, hey, you're always sticking your neck out for me.
Isn't it about time this became a real partnership? All right, Oporto, you got a deal.
We'll both help you under one condition.
- You're in no position to bargain.
- Oh, yes, we are.
You want us to risk our lives to help you repay an old debt.
We want what we came after.
- The girl? - That's it.
You release her to us in our custody.
We deliver the Contessa, you let us take Marnie Greer out of Brazil, no questions asked.
That could be arranged, unofficially, of course.
However, I suggest that we safely tuck her away in one of our jails, where she wouldn't get in your way until your half of the bargain is completed.
Not in these jails you won't.
If the guards don't get her, the inmates and rats will.
That's very charitable for a bounty hunter.
All right, the girl is released in your custody.
I trust you know what you are doing.
MARNIE: Do you have to drive so fast? COLT: Look, I got a big stunt on this road tomorrow.
- I'm trying to get the feel.
- Well, why do I have to be here? Because I told you, I'm not letting you out of my sight.
I'm innocent.
You're supposed to help me.
Hey, I'm gonna help myself.
You just hope some of it rubs off.
- Colt, hi! What's the good word? - Murder.
You don't mean Marnie Greer? No, but you're close.
It's going to be a woman.
Colt, what are you talking about? I'm talking about you.
Sands is dead all right, but you're next.
Me? What did I do? Well, you told me to snatch and grab a girl in a country with no extradition.
Well, so what's the big deal? Everyone knows Rio has no extradition.
Oh, you bet.
Does everybody know what the authorities do to you down here if you're caught trying to bend that law? Colt, I can't imagine what you're talking about.
Oh, yes, you can.
You told me you were only working for Big jack to put you through law school.
Now, you know damn well what they do to you if you try to kidnap somebody down here.
- Refresh my memory.
- They shoot you! It's a capital crime.
Colt, I'm sure they give you a trial.
That's it.
You can forget about Marnie Greer and your $50,000.
Oh, Colt, wait.
No, don't hang up, please.
You're right.
I should have mentioned the minor inconveniences of Brazilian law.
- I'm sorry.
- Minor inconveniences? You call "dead" a minor inconvenience? What do you want from me? Name it, you got it.
Terri, I'm only going to go through with this because I got no choice, and because I want to live to get my hands on you.
Okay, what's our next step? Our next step is for you to send me some seed money.
What kind of money? Don't talk.
just listen.
I've gotta make some phony Contessa think I found the money Sands stole from Macklowe Industries.
That means you have to send me $20,000 by tonight.
20,000! Now, you get it to my hotel before dark, or you can forget about Marnie Greer, and worry about me.
Colt, that Contessa obviously doesn't fool around if she killed Sands.
Yeah, well, neither do the police.
You heard what that Inspector said.
I know.
What if we let him think that we're going to help him out, and then we slip away in the middle of the night? Kid, just how do you propose we do that? We could rent a plane with the money that Terri sends.
That would be taking money under false pretenses.
Right.
I like it.
Oh, great, that makes me feel a lot better.
Terri had no business putting us in the middle of a bunch of international gangsters.
Well, that's right! If we get out of here, we just tell her we couldn't get Miss Greer out of the country.
That's it.
- Yeah, we owe her one.
- That's right.
And the next time Terri tries to put one over on us by telling us it's a simple job, she'll think twice! That's right! California, here we come! Mr Seavers, I was looking for you.
I trust you are making arrangements to convince the Contessa that you have the money.
Oh, yeah.
I got right on it soon as I got back.
- Right, kid? - Right.
We just got off the phone.
We sent for some seed money.
Just to go along with your charade, I've put word out on the street that we are convinced that you have the money, and we're offering a large reward to anyone who can prove it, or bring you back with the cash.
- You did what? - Every crook in Brazil's gonna be on our case.
True.
But on the other hand, if you were to approach someone to help you, shall we say, to leave the country, you would have to think twice about trusting them.
Well, if we try to leave, someone'll put a knife to our throats for the money.
If we stay here, somebody'll put a knife to our throats for the money.
But here, I would be able to protect you from them.
- I got one question.
- And what is that? Who protects us from you? You have a wonderful sense of humor.
Happy hunting, and good luck with the Contessa.
Mr Lang, can I see you for a minute? I've got Double 0's prop tux ready to go here.
Would you like to see how it's rigged? Yeah.
Good idea, Al.
It'll help me plan my shots.
I'm already behind schedule.
Well, it's really very simple.
If you'll just hold this up like he's wearing it Now, for the encounter with Dr Zero, he simply raises his arm and a spray gun shoots this deadly stream of white acid right into the henchman's face.
See that? So, where's the gun? Here.
Put your arm in here.
Cock your arm as if to shake hands.
Very good.
And where's the bird that's going to carry the secret microdot out of Dr Zero's castle? Take the handkerchief out of your pocket.
There's something in there.
Oh, it's the bird.
Yes, indeed.
Yes, indeed.
- That's my friend.
- Very good.
All right, Al.
Now, we're going to shoot this scene first thing in the morning, and I want you to make sure that nobody touches these props.
- You got it.
- Okay.
Come on, sweetheart.
Great, huh? We'll look like a couple of Texas millionaires.
- Yeah.
They're great, but where'd you - Wardrobe.
I checked the schedule.
They don't need them back till morning.
Well, I hope you're right.
That last scene with Roger won't exactly come off if he has to play it in his underwear.
Oh, we'll have them back before the cock crows.
There you go.
(DOVE cooing) - Did you say something? - I didn't say anything.
- Yeah, you did.
You said, "Who?" - No, I didn't.
(DOVE cooing) - Are you complaining about something? - Oh, no.
I like being locked in a hot motor home.
Yeah, you better enjoy it.
You won't like jail any better.
Here, put this on.
That? Why? - You're coming with us to the casino.
-just try and make me.
- Sure, I'd be glad to help.
- Hey! I can dress myself.
Colt! Where you going with that car? It's all rigged for the big stunt tomorrow.
It's a tricky road, boss.
You know what they say, practice makes perfect.
(INCOHERENT CHATTERING) Well, I feel lucky tonight.
How about 5,000 to start, huh? - Yes, sir.
- There we go.
I'll try this color here.
Okay, let her spin.
I'm here to win.
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH) Don't that give you the shivers, darling? All right, 5,000 more on the other color.
Let her go, and pay the dough.
Are you here alone, honey? Hey, what you see is what you get.
Imported prime from Compton, California.
You cute little bug, you.
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH) Honey, what do you say we get out of here and go paint the town red, huh? Lady Delgado does not speak English, but I do.
Why don't we go someplace and paint the town? Now you're talking.
Fisk! Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Here All right, Seavers, out.
- I'll be back.
- I'll be here.
Spending money.
Want to buy a bird? - I'm going to kill him.
- Don't be an imbecile.
No lowly pilot comes into a casino like this, throwing around $5,000 bets.
- He does.
- Don't you realise what that means? - The missing money.
- Of course.
Then why draw attention to himself? He knows who we are.
He knows what we do to people we don't like.
Yes.
He is obviously well-informed, which means he knows we're the only ones who can convert his recently stolen money into currency that can't be traced.
What do you want me to do? Tell Mr Seavers I get the message.
Bring him to me.
Boy, howdy, I don't think I could pick out the right color of a pair of lips sucking grapes.
All right, Seavers, you've made your point.
- Mind stepping this way? - Hey, I'm not finished.
Yes, you are.
The Contessa wants to see you.
In private.
Since you put it that way Inspector Alisandro Oporto.
Mr Munson, do you read me? - Loud and clear.
- OPORTO: Good, now get out of there.
I can't leave now.
Colt's in with the Contessa.
Precisely why you must leave.
They must think that he's alone and completely vulnerable, so either they can work a deal with him for the money, or try to kill him for it.
- Kill him! - Nothing will happen.
My men are scattered all around the grounds, waiting only for my command to move in.
All right.
We'll go outside, but we're not going to go far.
Not with Colt in there with those creeps.
As you wish.
But I assure you, he couldn't be safer if I were at his side.
I'm in complete control.
Come on, we're heading out by the car for appearance's sake.
What exactly is your game, Mr Seavers? Well, it obviously isn't roulette.
I thought I could establish a little credit.
And your collateral? Got a brand-new set of wheels.
You'd be amazed at how expensive cars are down here.
Judging by the rather large amount of money you are losing in my casino, you seem to have found something that may belong to me.
Listen, a lot of folks could take issue with that claim.
What is your claim? Well, I'm not greedy.
Twenty percent.
I will need time.
Yeah, well, I don't want to press you, but I do have my eye on a brand-new Learjet which I just may use to fly out of here.
Happy flying- Sorry, my dance card is filled.
Now, don't do anything I'll regret.
Now, just to show you my heart is in the right spot, I'm not going to put you to all that trouble of throwing me out the window again.
No.
This time, I'd rather do it myself.
Don't just stand there.
After him! He's got our money.
Rolfe! Come on! We'll get them.
You don't mind if I smoke, do you? - Nice try, Colt.
- What's happening? They didn't buy my acting, so I'm back to driving.
Colt, isn't this the area that we scouted the other day? - That's right.
- Well, it goes nowhere! In fact, we're about out of road right now! Well, hang on to your seat belt.
(ALL SCREAMING) I knew I should have stayed in school! Don't jump, kid, you could get killed.
How in the hell did they do that? I can't be dead.
I have a terrible headache.
We're just about to the main floor.
HOWIE: Colt, are we dead? COLT: Well, if we are, it's awful dark where we went.
Yeah, we're gonna look in Sands' old room.
MARNIE: This is breaking and entering, you know.
Do you see me breaking anything? This room's already been searched.
Yeah, well, sometimes you overlook the obvious.
5 million is pretty obvious.
What if somebody comes? We'll tell them we're from housekeeping.
- What are you doing now? - I'm looking for lumps.
Look around the window ledges.
I'm going to check the plumbing in the bathroom.
MAN: Give me the key, dear.
WOMAN: You've got it.
Frankly, Cynthia, a cottage in Brighton would have done quite nicely.
All right, Alfred.
I'm going to draw my bath.
(HUMMING) (SCREAMS) Maintenance.
just a slight leak in the shower.
We have it all fixed now.
Hi.
Would you like those pressed? Oh, all right.
- Everything shipshape, Greer? - Seem to be plenty of hangers.
Oh, well, good.
If you need anything, don't hesitate to call.
Have a fun Mardi Gras.
We'll deliver the paper in the morning, okay? Good night.
I say.
Thanks for the change.
I was beginning to feel like a head waiter.
I stopped by at the front desk on my way in and picked up Sands' bill.
Well, that was very sporting of you, kid.
No, I didn't pay it.
I just brought a copy.
I thought it might tell us something.
You can tell he was on an expense account.
A bottle of that expensive champagne, Dom what's-his-name.
Local calls, television set.
- Television? - They're extra.
I didn't see a television set in his room.
Well, he didn't pay his bill.
Maybe they repossessed the TV.
Maybe the desk can tell us where they keep them.
Come on.
I am not going anywhere! I need a bath and a fresh change of clothes.
I know my rights.
All right, kid.
You stay with her.
But don't trust her.
But wait a minute, Colt.
I stopped by the set and brought along some extra artillery.
No, no.
I've had enough props.
Just cross your fingers I come back with some fresh spending money.
MAN: The rental television sets are moved from room to room as requested by our guests.
According to my records, sen/var, that set is now in room 731.
Thank you.
MARNIE: Howie, could you do me a favor? Scrub your back? Would you get my pink dress out of the closet? Sure.
I don't see anything pink.
It's way over on the left.
HOWIE: Marnie? Marnie! (HOWIE BANGING DOOR) What are you doing? Marnie, when I get my hands on you Open this door! - Hello? - TV repair.
TV okay.
No problem.
I'm sorry.
I still gotta check.
I just take the calls.
Look at that picture.
It's terrible.
- No turn on.
-"No turn on" is right.
(MAN SPEAKING JAPANESE) I don't understand.
I'll have it fixed in just a minute.
By the way, no service charge for this call.
Keep filling the bag.
On the floor.
How stupid of me not to look over my shoulder.
You have done very well, amigo.
just keep filling the bag.
I knew I was right about you.
You're all in this together! Don't you move, or I'll shoot! Now, you just stop Now, go back and report this to your Countess.
Tell her I'm still willing to make a deal, but now I want 40%.
I said I was sorry.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) I'll get it.
Colt, you saved my life.
Yeah, well, anybody can make a mistake.
You made me miscount again.
Well, ole, ole! And ole' to you, too.
Here are your costumes.
Costumes? For what? We finish the movie tonight if it's not too big of an inconvenience.
No, I've had about all the fun I can stand.
Listen, I'd be happy to take some of that fun off your hands.
Hello? - Marnie, it's Charles Macklowe.
- Mr Macklowe.
Where are you? In my office.
Oh, you sound so close.
Marnie, the police informed me that you'd left the country.
Mr Sands could have cleared me.
Well, you'll never find him with all that money he stole.
Oh, but I did find him.
- He's dead.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
But this friend of mine found your money for you.
Well, that's good news.
Yeah.
Well, he has to pretend he's giving it to this countess lady, so the police can catch her.
Next time you see me, I'll probably have your money.
That would be most welcome.
Goodbye.
Countess, we're in business.
I suggest you make the deal with this Seavers.
- Wait for us, driver.
- Okay, Colt.
Oh, sim, senor.
Mr Seavers, so nice to see you again.
Well, the pleasure is all yours, Countess.
Now, this is Miss Greer.
I believe you had the pleasure of wrecking her room.
- How do you do? - Hi.
Miss Greer is the partner of Mr Sands.
I'm sure the confusion could have been eliminated if Mr Sands had not departed so untimely.
MARNIE: Do you kill everybody you do business with? COUNTESS: Only the dispensable ones.
Then let us conclude our business.
I presume that is the money.
Yes.
3 million.
I took my cut.
I wanted to save you the trouble of counting.
COUNTESS: How thoughtful of you.
(ELECTRONIC HUMMING) Do you have another appointment? A friend promised to drop by.
I don't want to miss him.
If it was the police, I'm afraid you're in for a disappointment.
Well, in that case, we'll be on our way.
You see, I knew he wouldn't be any fun.
What made you think you could help yourself to $2 million? You know, I said that very same thing to my partner.
So we figured we'd cover ourselves with a little short note to the local police in case negotiations broke down.
An old scheme not worthy of you.
Oh, but very effective.
I mean, you know Inspector Oporto? He's been after you a long time.
And speaking of time, if our other partner doesn't see us in 10 minutes, he's gonna drop the letter into the old mailbox.
Is that the one who drove you here? Well, he has been momentarily occupied.
Guess time is short.
As they say, time is money! - Where the hell's Oporto? - And Howie.
Get in the cab! Let's go.
I'll drive.
Where the devil is Seavers? He was supposed to have been here at 7:00 a.
m.
Oh, don't worry.
We'll find him.
You know, everybody's out looking for him.
Colt, you've won me over.
I'm finally glad you drive like a madman.
They still there? (MARNIE SCREAMS) There's a bonus in it if you lose them.
Mr Macklowe, what are you doing here? Protecting my investment.
I believe this is mine.
I was wondering when you'd show up.
Well, that's it! He's through! Finished! Kaput! I'll never use him again! All right, where we going? A private airport, about 10 miles right out the main street.
There's a parade up ahead.
I know a shortcut.
(CROWD CHATTERING) Hang on.
Call off the search, I think I just found him.
Great shortcut.
Oh, God, here comes the Abominable Snowman.
(MARNIE SCREAMS) Don't! - Is any of this in the script? - No.
Actually, it's pretty good.
Let's shoot it.
Roll them.
Roll camera.
Colt, Macklowe's getting away! Yeah, well, I'll just be a minute! Bring it down! Bring it down! Keep him busy, kid.
I think I got his attention, Colt! Look! On the roof! What is he doing now? Colt was never big on stairs.
It worked.
Who the hell are you? Would you believe Superman III? (PEOPLE CLAMOURING) Thank you for the confession, Countess.
I've waited for this moment, well, since Waterloo.
Oh, Colt, you were magnificent! Well, I could have told him.
A lot safer to carry travelerâs cheques.