The L Word s02e01 Episode Script
Life, Loss, Leaving
Previously, on "The L Word.
" Why is it so important for you to believe that everyone - .
.
is sleeping with everyone else? - Because they are.
Do you know the neighbors next door? Are they, um, a gay couple? Yeah, they are.
- Because I saw them having sex in their pool.
- We're having a party tomorrow night.
- You and Tim should come.
- Jenny, this is Marina.
You guys should totally take the Cosmo romance quiz.
- Where are you? - I'm right here.
You're getting married? - Are you happy? - Don't ask me that.
Why couldn't you stop it, why what it so hard! What happened between us was a terrible mistake.
Did you hear what she said? We need to get a divorce.
- Are you free on Saturday night? - I have a date.
- Has she told you she's a dyke? - I should probably be the one to go.
- Gene, no, I should go.
No, I don't want either of you to leave.
Ever notice that every time Shane walks into a room, - .
.
someone leaves crying? - I don't do relationships.
- Tell me what you want.
- In terms of what you can do for me? - Are you in love with her? - Yeah.
You gotta learn to keep it in your pants.
- Open the gate! - I never wanna see you again! - Listen! Listen to me! - It was a delusion.
- You felt the same way about me.
- That kind of love does not exist.
- I mean, what does Shane have that I don't have? - She has nipple confidence - Hey! - You don't understand what it means to be me.
So, so glad to meet you.
I'm Tonya, your guest liason.
I'm here to take care of all your needs.
I can't believe I'm about to go down on Dana Fairbanks.
That girl has bad fucking vibes.
When are you gonna make up your mind between dick and pussy? I'm looking for the same qualities in a man as I am in a woman.
Big tits.
- We're getting married! - You can't marry Tonya.
Look, if you ever need anyone to talk to, give me a call.
She wants to be your husband.
If you were a man, you would be the perfect man Wow.
- Let's make a baby.
- I have found the perfect donor.
How could you not tell me that Marcus Allenwood is black? - We're gonna have a baby.
- I was unable to locate a heartbeat.
I was only twelve weeks and I feel like I lost someone I was with my whole life.
All I've wanted to do all day long was kiss you.
- I can't.
- You can't what, babe? Take me somewhere.
- I saw it.
- I'm sorry.
Fuck you! Fuck you! - I can't believe this is happening.
When we did this, I thought I had a certain amount of security.
Whether it worked or not, .
.
I thought Bette and I were solid.
- When were you planning to tell Bette? - Right about now.
If everything looked like it was going to go well, and nothing was gonna go wrong like last time I didn't think Bette could handle another miscarriage.
No? Oh my.
Well.
Look at you.
Yeah, just sort of, uh just popped.
I'm not ready to tell anybody.
I wanna keep it to myself for a while.
- Well, that's not gonna be easy, my dear.
- Looks like I'm having this baby on my own.
Now that's a shame, Tina.
- Don't say that.
People do it all the time.
- And you're okay with that? I want this baby more than ever.
The L Word I'm so happy to have you here.
- Hello? - Hi.
Hey.
Where did you go? What's going on? Dammit why did I get this assignment? I'm so not a knitter.
Well, it's crazy popular and all the fags I know are doing it.
Even some of the straight boys, too.
Right! See? Men should be knitting, and women should be running the world.
That's how I see it.
That's what I'm gonna write for L.
A.
Magazine.
It's good.
Yeah, go for it, they'll love it.
- How's Tina? - Well, Bette still hasn't called her.
There's something really wrong when God lets two people who are meant to be together come apart like that.
You believe in God? What? This coffee tastes like poopie shit! Where's Marina? - I haven't seen her for days, I have no idea.
- I don't know, I haven't either.
So listen, do you, um you wanna talk about anything, or 'cause that's what friends are for.
If you'd like to talk.
No, I got nothing to talk about.
- Shane.
- What? - Aw, quit bein' such a lez! - Well, what! - You're just back from Cherie Jaffe-land? - Nothing's changed, I'm still me.
Ohhh, so you still live by the code.
You don't do relationships.
It's not a code, it's me.
Oh, shit.
Oh no, I cannot take Cruella DeVille this morning.
Do some - uh, pretend I'm upset.
Put your arm around me! Um I'll just start sobbing, and .
.
obviously it'll be a really intimate moment.
I mean no halfway-sensitive person would ever dream of interrupting.
Guys, you guys! This place is falling apart! Did you guys hear what happened to Marina? What? A nervous breakdown, complete and total, she had to be hospitalized.
- She tried to off herself? - She slit her wrists, at the Bel Air Hotel, in the penthouse suite.
- That's horrible! - She was wearing that fabulous Dolce - Gabana suit, the men's cut.
- We should see her.
- Too late.
Her mother put on a plane, .
.
she's back in Milan.
She's a contessa, you know.
I know, she's a contessa, Marina's a contessa.
Honey! Honey! Honey, honey, come here! Hi I was just telling the girls how I almost became your future ex-wife last night.
Oh! Kinda freaked out with the wedding planners.
Excuse me, we need a green tea! Iced! - Are you okay? - Hunh? Yeah! - Ummm, freaked out.
About Marina.
- Oh yeah, thank God for the bell boy.
- He came in right as she was about to jump.
- Wait, wait, you said she slit her wrists.
Look at you! All sweaty! Isn't it cute how she perspires so much? So how's Tina? Has Bette called yet? Apparently, she walked in on them in their very own bedroom.
Okay! Miss Inside Story.
How did Tina find out? Well, actually, Tonya, um, she guessed, because she saw them touching hands, and then she knew everything.
How could she tell just by seeing them touch hands? - Women can do that.
- Yeah, especially dykes.
Well, I don't know what Bette was thinking.
I mean, you don't step out on a woman like Tina for somebody who hammers planks for a living.
Oh my! What're you saying, Tonya? That it would've been okay if Candace had a better job? - Guys, it's not our business.
- But Bette loves Tina, there's no doubt about it! So then, they could just - why can't they work it out? 'Cause of the sex thing, and Bette can't help it.
So if it's just a sex thing then, you can, get it under control, right? Women can control it.
Men sometimes can't because they're controlled by their peckers.
There is no difference between men and women .
.
and this is a perfect example or Bette would've called it off.
- Bette is still schtuping the carpenter?! - God, I feel so awful for Tina.
- Guys.
- Well, Bette better get that pecker under control! Guys!!! You know those skinny, Japanese ones? They don't really look like mushrooms, you know, they kinda look more like noodles, or something.
I never um uh, what to do with them.
Wha? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
What were you saying? - Uh, I was talking about mushrooms.
- Right.
Right, right, right.
- Do you like mushrooms? - Selectively.
You? Uh they - they really do scare me.
Ah, I remember in third grade, there was this beautiful girl - God.
Gorgeous.
Her name was, uh Miriam, and she had this wild mushroom, and just was in the hospital for like three weeks, and had this allergic reaction and God, she missed the relay race, and I've never actually seen onions on a stem before.
Do they taste different? Smell them.
Oh.
That's very strong.
Do you wanna fuck her right here, or, do you both wanna come back to my place? - Gene! No, no.
I'm sorry.
- 'Cause I don't think my roommate's home - Okay.
What's going on? Look, I didn't press you into this.
Alright.
You said you wanted to keep seeing me.
So.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- What is it? - And I said that I like you.
Well that's really nice, you know.
I like you, too.
But we don't have sex.
Okay? There it is.
I'd like to be having sex with the woman I cook for make mix-tapes for you, you don't wanna have sex! And I know why! It's because you're gay.
Alright? That's it! I'm sorry to break it to you, but you are a girl-loving, full-on lesbian! - I don't think that's for you to say.
- Well, deal with it.
Alright? Good luck.
- Are we ever gonna talk about this? - Talk about what? Okay.
Hold on.
It was a mistake, right? - If you say so.
- Well, what about you, - .
.
you don't have anything to say? - You're the one who kissed me first.
I do remember you kissing me back.
After you started it.
So if I was to kiss you again? Oh.
You know.
Oh Alice will know.
Alice, Al, what's the uh booking agency.
Not Smash Box, but, you know.
- Uh, Fred Segal Hair and Makeup? - Tonya, listen, it's cool.
Alright.
The agency is fine.
They got me a job.
- Who's the client? - Ariana, someone.
Ariana Huffington? Yeah.
She um she wrote a book.
She's doing a book tour, and she's doing all these TV talk shows.
David Letterman, Jay Leno, Bill O'Reilly? C'mon! Ariana Huffington is fifty.
She's not really your type.
- She's kinda fancy.
- I'm doing her hair, Al, I'm not gonna fuck her.
Oh, okay.
'Cause the old Shane would.
Well in that case, if she's hot Honey, Shane is doing Ariana Huffington.
You're doing Ariana Huffington? She's fifty, Shane! - Her hair.
- Ah.
Look, it's great, Shane.
If things go well with Ariana Huffington, then maybe you can get some film clients.
You could go on location, you could travel - Yeah, that'd be cool.
- Yeah.
That's great.
I gotta go, you guys.
Don't worry, I'm not going to ask to join you.
know that you all probably think that I'm a monster.
I just - I have something that I need to say to Tina.
- Do you want us to go? - No.
If you have something to say, say it here.
Tina I didn't try to see you, or call you until now because I wanted to make sure tha I could do what you asked of me.
I promise.
I am not going to ever see her again, I am not ever going to speak to her again, I am not ever going to think about her again.
I miss you.
More than that, I need you.
And I don't think that I can I don't think that I can live without you.
It is completely and totally over.
When did you end it? This morning, and I told her that you were the love of my life and that I didn't know what I was doing and that I must've gone temporarily insane.
Did you tell her in person? Or on the phone? Why does that matter? Because I drove by the house at 2:00 AM.
And your car wasn't there.
Did you fuck all night before you told her I was the love of your life this morning?! So rentals is the cash cow of the business, but my real love is picture cars.
- Picture cars? - Yeah.
For the movies? Oh, yeah.
A director will come in and tell me he wants to put Billy Bob in the exact souped-up, Hemi under-glass Bob Riggle drove in the stock car races in Jersey when he was a kid, you know? He'll want the slicks, and the scoops .
.
and the Pink Panther flames, exactly like he remembers it in his head.
Ivan, you are speaking a foreign language to me.
And you know what that does to a girl.
Let's go inside, I got something I wanna show ya.
C'mon.
By driving into the wall at a hotel parking garage? Doesn't sound like a very serious suicide attempt to me.
Well, that's the talk at The Planet.
You know, I feel so bad, because I didn't know she was hurting that much.
I know.
I know.
Let go, and let God.
"Ivan Aycock: vintage restorer to the stars".
That's the bomb! I had no idea.
- This is your office.
- Look, I invited you here because .
.
I have a little present for you.
- Oh, Ivan, I - can't.
- It's not what you think.
Open it.
Okay? This is a key to my apartment.
I live two blocks from The Planet.
I just want you to feel free to stop by anytime you need a break from work.
Oh I mean, it's not a done deal yet.
I still have to go to the bank tomorrow, and have my meeting, and then I have a lot to work on with Marina's family.
Her mom was some kinda damn contessa.
She may be a contessa.
But as far as I'm concerned Kit, you're a queen.
Don't you forget it.
What's this one for? That looks like my car.
Sorta.
- I did a little work on it.
- A little! Ah! A little restoration to help you celebrate getting your license restored.
No one's ever done anything like that for me.
I don't know how to thank you.
- Not yet.
- Why? Because you're not sure.
And I want you .
.
to be sure.
C'mon, gorgeous.
Let's go take it for a spin.
C'mon.
Oooh, yes.
Ah, it looks fabulous.
Wow.
So, Oberlin's supposed to be a really great school.
Yeah, it's a great team.
Coach Haspel! You know, they want me there a week from Monday, so I figure I'd give myself five days to drive to Ohio.
Hey.
Are you still gonna get your teaching certificate? Maybe.
You find an apartment yet? - No.
It's so depressing, Tim.
- You should stay here.
- Take over the lease.
- Oh, no.
Can't afford the rent on this house.
What about your new job? Um, waitresses at Hank 59 do not get paid that much.
Think about it.
You know the rent's all paid through the end of the month.
Are you serious? You'd actually let me stay here? Yeah, what? I'm gonna kick you out on principle? Are you serious, Tim? That would be amazing.
Thing is, I just I need to focus right now, 'cause I'm just, like and, okay.
Charlotte Birch is teaching this master class at C.
U.
and I'm just trying to get in, you know.
Whatever, I'm just having the worst time with my writing, I'm just I don't know, I'm just feeling kinda blocked.
"How every time one person has sex with another person, each of their previous sexual encounters is evoked.
How that links us all into an infinite network of human connections.
" "Each of their previous sexual encounters is evoked.
How that links us into an infinite network of human connections.
" "What Jane understood was that her parents were fighting again.
" "Their human connection, tenuous the night before, .
.
now wearing dangerously thin.
Don't leave.
Hey.
- Hey, Bette.
- Hi, Tim.
I just, uh, wanna say goodbye.
- Oh, yeah, you going somewhere? - Ohio.
Ohio.
Really.
For how long? I took a job there.
Im leaving the day after tomorrow.
So.
Good luck.
Shit, wai- Tim Im sorry.
I didnt know you were moving away.
Don't worry about it, it's fine.
You - wait - you're moving to Ohio for good? I don't - I dont know if it's for good but yeah.
Look, uh I just Im glad I got to know you.
Well Im glad I got to know you too, Tim.
Ill miss you Who knows, maybe some other poor sucker will move in here with his .
.
sexually confused girlfriend, and you can introduce one of your predatory friends .
.
and she can seduce her, and his whole life can fall apart.
You know she tried to kill herself.
She tried to drive her car off the PCH or something.
Marina? I mean I cant blame you if youre, ou know, not sorry for her.
No, I mean I wouldnt wish that on anyone.
You just you never expect your life to throw you so totally off plan.
You know what I mean? Yeah, I think I do.
Is Tina around? Id really like to say goodbye to her.
No.
Shes not here.
Well if I dont see her, could you tell her I said goodbye? Yeah, sure.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I'm Shane.
- Hi, Shane, I'm Ariana.
- Hey, Ariana - I like what you're wearing.
- Thank you.
Who do you dress for? Uh.
.
.
.
myself.
And the girlies sometimes, but mostly me.
- So, you're gay? - Totally.
Yes.
You know, I was at a dinner the other night .
.
and someone said that dykes are the new fags.
What do you think about that? I think people like to categorize things too much.
So what's your book about? This country, politics my ideas about how to make the world better.
Good for you.
What about you, Shane? What do you want? Um well, I haven't really thought about it.
Um.
What about love? No.
Love's a bitch.
I'd rather just have a good time and move on.
Alright, Miss Huffington, here's your soy latte.
Um.
Can I get you anything? - No.
Thank you.
- Just let me know if you change your mind.
- Um, I'm Carmen.
- Hey Carmen.
I'm Shane.
See ya.
Hey.
Sorry.
Don't worry, I'll be fine.
- But I should be here for you.
- Go.
So anyway.
This is my day job.
Um last week I PAd at a Fischerspooner video.
- Cool.
- I know.
I DJ, too, I do Little Temple on Fridays and then I do a night of old school, body wave and electro at MRX every other Wednesday.
Very cool.
So what about you, what do you do when youre not doing hair? What do I do - .
.
nothin much.
Hang out.
- Yeah.
Whatever.
.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Got it.
" We need final touches on Miss Huffington.
" - Catch ya later.
- Alright.
Hey Shane? Do you wanna listen to something really cool? So I heard this mix at The Knitting Factory last weekend.
I mean this is this is exactly where I wanna be in like 5 years from now.
I like a girl with ambition.
Fuck you! Okay.
If you want.
Where does this lead? Oh.
It was from my father.
I never met him, but .
.
supposedly he was some kind of Mayan medicine man.
How come you never met him? He died in a motorcycle crash before I was born.
Look, I dont want any talking in here alright? what is going on? Could someone get me a 20 on Shane? Bob, go to 2 for me.
Yeah, well thats because I called final touches five minutes ago, .
.
so wheres hair?! Hell do a large-scale painting for one of the lobby walls, based on Japanese anime.
Its an illicit exterior Go on, Im listening! I'm listening.
An a illicit exterior installation, uh, .
.
just below the Sawtelle-405 freeway overpass.
You know I saw Noble's performance piece where he crawled naked across a table, ranting about his weakness and perfidy.
Who do you think is gonna fund that? Oh, I applied to the Ahmanson Foundation.
Never gonna happen, theyre way too conservative.
No! This is like the fifth time shes called.
You tell her to fucking stop calling.
Apply to the Peabody Foundation, they might fund a Noble project.
Okay, so you do number three, and I will take two and five, okay? - Okay.
- Are you okay with that? - Yes.
Hello, how are you? May I um, please take your order? Uh, we have a few questions, are the burgers made with .
.
New Zealand or American beef? Id like to substitute feta cheese for the American cheese and mixed greens for the fries.
Um, will you please excuse me for a second? I will be right back.
We'd like to order.
- Hi.
What's going on? - I just wanted to make sure youre okay.
Im okay.
I mean, Im gonna be a shitty waitress, but .
.
Im okay, ya know.
You havent heard, obviously.
Havent heard what? Marina tried to commit suicide.
Yeah.
She checked into the Bel Air Hotel.
The Presidential Suite.
You said she tried, she didnt kill herself? No, apparently, uh the people across the hall heard shouting, they thought a woman was getting hurt so they called the front desk.
The bell boy, um found Marina alone in the room, with like 3 bottle of pills, totally out of her skull.
- Oh, poor Marina.
- They called me.
I dont know why, I guess my number was in her purse.
I managed to find her mother, I remembered Marina telling me me she lives in Umbria, so In a villa.
Jen, I feel like maybe I shouldnt say this, but when I got to the hospital .
.
she was calling your name.
Miss! Wed like to order.
Pookie, you wont believe this! Look at this.
- That? - Isnt this beautiful? The Jura Capresso S8 Espresso Coffee Maker? One thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine dollars? Tonya! We can't register for that! Well Da a few people might chip in together.
Dana, do not second-guess the generosity of our friends.
Now, look, I wanna show you something at Geary's.
Hello! - This is Dana Fairbanks.
- Hi! Yeah, hi! Um I - I think we should talk.
Uh-huh Its Robbie, my old - tennis partner before Harrison - I'd love to see you.
Where, when? - Honey, look - I think we need to think about some cut crystal.
- Okay! Alright.
How bout tomorrow morning at Runyon Canyon? Th - uh how bout I meet you at the gate at 10:30? - Its a little early - Okay.
Eleven.
Eleven is fine.
Okay, but you know with traffic it's it might - the 405 Four oclock is good, four, uh four in the afternoon.
- Ill see you at four in the afternoon.
- Okay.
Bye.
It's good.
Knit knit away.
Talkin'.
Dear, I don't think you're gonna be able to get anybody's head through that thing.
You know, though.
I think this would make a really good harness .
.
for a strap on dildo.
We could at least pretend to be human? - Let me talk to Tina.
- What would you say? That my sister is a pootie chasin dog, who deserves to be tied down and whupped upside the head, .
.
but it doesnt change the fact that she loves you more than she loves her own life.
And that you should finish punishing her and get back to figuring on .
.
how to live with one another for the next 50 years or more.
You could give it a try.
Now dont you go and pull a Marina on me now.
- Kit.
- Im just sayin'.
I read your business plan.
It's solid.
Id be happy to co-sign on the loan.
Well, what about the down payment? Kit, I dont have fifty thousand dollars, not liquid, not that I can get my hands on.
- Ivans the only one that - who could possibly - - Ivan is not a good idea.
- Why is that? - Because it further confuses an already complicated situation, you invite Ivan to be your business partner and then Ivan takes that as a broader invitation.
That is so typical of you.
You know, I have an impossible task to do, And I come up with one possible solution, and you diss my solution! - Im not dissing you.
- Then what do you call it, then? Im pointing out a considerable flaw in what may or may not be .
.
a solution in the first place.
What makes you think that I dont wanna make that invitation? Because Kit, - .
.
youre straight.
- Who says? - You're not? - I am, but I dont need you to tell me that, and neither does Ivan.
The way I see it, Ivan is the one who gets to say whether or not hes .
.
a man or a woman.
And hes been telling me hes more of a man.
Thats delusional thinking, it doesnt work that way.
Maybe in the world according to Bette but the world according to Bette doesnt have the same props it once did, .
.
you know what Im sayin baby sis? You didnt do anything Jenny, she wasnt right.
I knew it from the moment I met her, you know? Scoot over.
Are you sure you dont need to go to the hospital? - Oh my God, Im fine.
- Yeah? - Yeah, Im fine.
I fainted.
- Yeah.
I do that sometimes, it's fine.
- I hope somebodys looking after her.
- Someones looking after you.
- How's that? - My mom used to put these compresses on my forehead.
Dont tell me I remind you of a dysfunctional mother.
No, I dont know if she was dysfunctional, ya know? I mean, who could say if a mom's good or bad? Hows your apartment hunt coming? So shitty.
For practically, like, one thousand dollars .
.
I could live in a hovel, underneath the freeway, you know, then Tim was like, You can take over the lease but theres no way that I could afford it, so I have a proposition for you.
Why dont you move in with me? You know, its totally rent controlled, two-bedroom .
.
I afford it easily, you dont have to pay.
I cant.
I think we could be happy, Jen.
So what's up.
I wanted to ask if you could be outta the house for a couple hours tonight.
Uh-huh.
'Cause Tina needs to come by and pick up some of her things,shes - .
.
running out of clothes and stuff - - It's her house, she can come by anytime she wants.
You know thats not true.
You know what I did Alice I couldnt help myself.
How does that work? Because - .
.
it's kind of an act of free will.
- You know, I - I .
.
exhausted every ounce of will that I had and I still couldnt stop myself.
- Did you fall in love? - No.
I love Tina.
Tina is the only person that Im in love with.
But youre still sittin on Candace face.
Actually, Im not.
I told you, I ended it as soon as I could.
As soon as you could? - What are you like a sex addict now? - No, Im not a sex addict! Jesus.
You know, I think calling sex an addiction is an excuse for bad behavior, and I know I behaved badly, but Im prepared to take responsibility for it.
No, you behaved really badly.
I know that it sounds like an excuse, but you know what? The fact is she disappeared on me.
She was depressed and she was completely .
.
wrapped up in herself, and I tried to talk to her about it but she .
.
she completely shut me out.
- For how long? - Two or three months.
Out of seven years? I think you could have waited.
She abandoned me as much as I abandoned her.
We both did it.
Yeah, but, only one of you was having an orgasm.
Fuck you, Alice.
Just be outta the house! Ivan, it's me! I'm a little early! In fact, I'm a lot early! Um, I wanted to talk to you about something that I'm very nervous about, since you're so generous Shit! Ivan I - I am so sorry! Look, I didn't see anything! - Kit - Look, I'll wait for you in the other room! - Kit, I think you should go! - Look, Ivan, I will wait til you get dressed, okay, I really need to talk to you because this - this thing that happened - Kit! Listen, okay?! I - I - I want you to leave! Do you understand? Go! Fuck! Shit.
So.
You were saying? Well I was saying it's obvious there's something going on between us.
What do you think it is? I dunno.
I mean, do you - do you have any ideas? Maybe.
I dunno.
Maybe we're attracted to each other.
Yeah.
Maybe yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Maybe if we admit that we're attracted to each other, you know, sometimes admitting a taboo takes the power out of it.
I admit it, I'm attracted to you.
How long have you been? I don't know, I never realized it before.
Okay, go on, it's your turn.
I admit I'm attracted to you.
- What does it mean? - Well It doesn't have to mean anything, I mean .
.
being attracted to someone's no big deal.
- It's just an attraction.
- Right.
We just we have to agree not to act on it.
Okay, how do we do that? Well, we just took the first step, we took the power out of it.
I think we need to take the second step.
Yeah.
Okay.
We need to counteract it.
We just need to avoid all situations where we find each other most attractive.
We need, like rules of un-attraction.
Okay, like never be alone together, in places like the bathroom at The Planet.
Right.
Never be alone together.
Especially never be alone together .
.
in places wheres theres like a bed or a couch.
Right, or - or - a table.
Or a floor.
Or the backseat of a car.
Ooh, thatd be good.
That wouldnt be good! Okay, you need to stop showing up at The Planet after youve worked out, .
.
when youre all sweaty and your veins are all popping all over the place.
You like that? Tonya hates that.
Alright, well then you cant wear those shirts any more.
- What shirts? - You know, the ones where .
.
they cling to you in some places and fall off you in others? Fuck you.
Okay, thats totally against the rules.
Come on Al! Wait! Tim? Thanks.
Id like to keep this one.
I dont want the memory of us to evanesce.
Let's not evanesce.
I needed to see you You don't want to give me anything I need, okay.
That's fair.
Nothing's fair, Bette.
You broke everything that meant anything to me.
- Let me fix it! - No.
- I won't accept that.
- Too Bad.
Look, I I overestimated myself.
Alright.
Supporting us both financially, and then - and then when we lost the baby, I thought that I had to take on the whole burden, I thought that I had to absorb your pain and ignore my own.
Well, I hope you had fun blowing off some steam with the carpenter.
TINA!! Hey.
How ya doin'? Um, to tell you the truth, not - not too good.
Yeah.
- Look, I'm sorry.
- Don't be sorry.
- Just tell me what's going on.
- I just wanted to have a good time tonight.
- I didn't think I'd see you.
- Okay.
But.
Here I am.
You don't think that you could've changed your plan a little bit? I don't have a plan.
That's the point.
Jen.
Jen.
No this seems wrong.
I don't think this is the way we should It's not the way - Is that good? - Yeah What are you doing? I'm gonna go.
I don't wanna wait until the morning Tim.
Please.
Don't leave.
Ow! FUCK! Fuck! thx to Steph's transcripts
" Why is it so important for you to believe that everyone - .
.
is sleeping with everyone else? - Because they are.
Do you know the neighbors next door? Are they, um, a gay couple? Yeah, they are.
- Because I saw them having sex in their pool.
- We're having a party tomorrow night.
- You and Tim should come.
- Jenny, this is Marina.
You guys should totally take the Cosmo romance quiz.
- Where are you? - I'm right here.
You're getting married? - Are you happy? - Don't ask me that.
Why couldn't you stop it, why what it so hard! What happened between us was a terrible mistake.
Did you hear what she said? We need to get a divorce.
- Are you free on Saturday night? - I have a date.
- Has she told you she's a dyke? - I should probably be the one to go.
- Gene, no, I should go.
No, I don't want either of you to leave.
Ever notice that every time Shane walks into a room, - .
.
someone leaves crying? - I don't do relationships.
- Tell me what you want.
- In terms of what you can do for me? - Are you in love with her? - Yeah.
You gotta learn to keep it in your pants.
- Open the gate! - I never wanna see you again! - Listen! Listen to me! - It was a delusion.
- You felt the same way about me.
- That kind of love does not exist.
- I mean, what does Shane have that I don't have? - She has nipple confidence - Hey! - You don't understand what it means to be me.
So, so glad to meet you.
I'm Tonya, your guest liason.
I'm here to take care of all your needs.
I can't believe I'm about to go down on Dana Fairbanks.
That girl has bad fucking vibes.
When are you gonna make up your mind between dick and pussy? I'm looking for the same qualities in a man as I am in a woman.
Big tits.
- We're getting married! - You can't marry Tonya.
Look, if you ever need anyone to talk to, give me a call.
She wants to be your husband.
If you were a man, you would be the perfect man Wow.
- Let's make a baby.
- I have found the perfect donor.
How could you not tell me that Marcus Allenwood is black? - We're gonna have a baby.
- I was unable to locate a heartbeat.
I was only twelve weeks and I feel like I lost someone I was with my whole life.
All I've wanted to do all day long was kiss you.
- I can't.
- You can't what, babe? Take me somewhere.
- I saw it.
- I'm sorry.
Fuck you! Fuck you! - I can't believe this is happening.
When we did this, I thought I had a certain amount of security.
Whether it worked or not, .
.
I thought Bette and I were solid.
- When were you planning to tell Bette? - Right about now.
If everything looked like it was going to go well, and nothing was gonna go wrong like last time I didn't think Bette could handle another miscarriage.
No? Oh my.
Well.
Look at you.
Yeah, just sort of, uh just popped.
I'm not ready to tell anybody.
I wanna keep it to myself for a while.
- Well, that's not gonna be easy, my dear.
- Looks like I'm having this baby on my own.
Now that's a shame, Tina.
- Don't say that.
People do it all the time.
- And you're okay with that? I want this baby more than ever.
The L Word I'm so happy to have you here.
- Hello? - Hi.
Hey.
Where did you go? What's going on? Dammit why did I get this assignment? I'm so not a knitter.
Well, it's crazy popular and all the fags I know are doing it.
Even some of the straight boys, too.
Right! See? Men should be knitting, and women should be running the world.
That's how I see it.
That's what I'm gonna write for L.
A.
Magazine.
It's good.
Yeah, go for it, they'll love it.
- How's Tina? - Well, Bette still hasn't called her.
There's something really wrong when God lets two people who are meant to be together come apart like that.
You believe in God? What? This coffee tastes like poopie shit! Where's Marina? - I haven't seen her for days, I have no idea.
- I don't know, I haven't either.
So listen, do you, um you wanna talk about anything, or 'cause that's what friends are for.
If you'd like to talk.
No, I got nothing to talk about.
- Shane.
- What? - Aw, quit bein' such a lez! - Well, what! - You're just back from Cherie Jaffe-land? - Nothing's changed, I'm still me.
Ohhh, so you still live by the code.
You don't do relationships.
It's not a code, it's me.
Oh, shit.
Oh no, I cannot take Cruella DeVille this morning.
Do some - uh, pretend I'm upset.
Put your arm around me! Um I'll just start sobbing, and .
.
obviously it'll be a really intimate moment.
I mean no halfway-sensitive person would ever dream of interrupting.
Guys, you guys! This place is falling apart! Did you guys hear what happened to Marina? What? A nervous breakdown, complete and total, she had to be hospitalized.
- She tried to off herself? - She slit her wrists, at the Bel Air Hotel, in the penthouse suite.
- That's horrible! - She was wearing that fabulous Dolce - Gabana suit, the men's cut.
- We should see her.
- Too late.
Her mother put on a plane, .
.
she's back in Milan.
She's a contessa, you know.
I know, she's a contessa, Marina's a contessa.
Honey! Honey! Honey, honey, come here! Hi I was just telling the girls how I almost became your future ex-wife last night.
Oh! Kinda freaked out with the wedding planners.
Excuse me, we need a green tea! Iced! - Are you okay? - Hunh? Yeah! - Ummm, freaked out.
About Marina.
- Oh yeah, thank God for the bell boy.
- He came in right as she was about to jump.
- Wait, wait, you said she slit her wrists.
Look at you! All sweaty! Isn't it cute how she perspires so much? So how's Tina? Has Bette called yet? Apparently, she walked in on them in their very own bedroom.
Okay! Miss Inside Story.
How did Tina find out? Well, actually, Tonya, um, she guessed, because she saw them touching hands, and then she knew everything.
How could she tell just by seeing them touch hands? - Women can do that.
- Yeah, especially dykes.
Well, I don't know what Bette was thinking.
I mean, you don't step out on a woman like Tina for somebody who hammers planks for a living.
Oh my! What're you saying, Tonya? That it would've been okay if Candace had a better job? - Guys, it's not our business.
- But Bette loves Tina, there's no doubt about it! So then, they could just - why can't they work it out? 'Cause of the sex thing, and Bette can't help it.
So if it's just a sex thing then, you can, get it under control, right? Women can control it.
Men sometimes can't because they're controlled by their peckers.
There is no difference between men and women .
.
and this is a perfect example or Bette would've called it off.
- Bette is still schtuping the carpenter?! - God, I feel so awful for Tina.
- Guys.
- Well, Bette better get that pecker under control! Guys!!! You know those skinny, Japanese ones? They don't really look like mushrooms, you know, they kinda look more like noodles, or something.
I never um uh, what to do with them.
Wha? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
What were you saying? - Uh, I was talking about mushrooms.
- Right.
Right, right, right.
- Do you like mushrooms? - Selectively.
You? Uh they - they really do scare me.
Ah, I remember in third grade, there was this beautiful girl - God.
Gorgeous.
Her name was, uh Miriam, and she had this wild mushroom, and just was in the hospital for like three weeks, and had this allergic reaction and God, she missed the relay race, and I've never actually seen onions on a stem before.
Do they taste different? Smell them.
Oh.
That's very strong.
Do you wanna fuck her right here, or, do you both wanna come back to my place? - Gene! No, no.
I'm sorry.
- 'Cause I don't think my roommate's home - Okay.
What's going on? Look, I didn't press you into this.
Alright.
You said you wanted to keep seeing me.
So.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- What is it? - And I said that I like you.
Well that's really nice, you know.
I like you, too.
But we don't have sex.
Okay? There it is.
I'd like to be having sex with the woman I cook for make mix-tapes for you, you don't wanna have sex! And I know why! It's because you're gay.
Alright? That's it! I'm sorry to break it to you, but you are a girl-loving, full-on lesbian! - I don't think that's for you to say.
- Well, deal with it.
Alright? Good luck.
- Are we ever gonna talk about this? - Talk about what? Okay.
Hold on.
It was a mistake, right? - If you say so.
- Well, what about you, - .
.
you don't have anything to say? - You're the one who kissed me first.
I do remember you kissing me back.
After you started it.
So if I was to kiss you again? Oh.
You know.
Oh Alice will know.
Alice, Al, what's the uh booking agency.
Not Smash Box, but, you know.
- Uh, Fred Segal Hair and Makeup? - Tonya, listen, it's cool.
Alright.
The agency is fine.
They got me a job.
- Who's the client? - Ariana, someone.
Ariana Huffington? Yeah.
She um she wrote a book.
She's doing a book tour, and she's doing all these TV talk shows.
David Letterman, Jay Leno, Bill O'Reilly? C'mon! Ariana Huffington is fifty.
She's not really your type.
- She's kinda fancy.
- I'm doing her hair, Al, I'm not gonna fuck her.
Oh, okay.
'Cause the old Shane would.
Well in that case, if she's hot Honey, Shane is doing Ariana Huffington.
You're doing Ariana Huffington? She's fifty, Shane! - Her hair.
- Ah.
Look, it's great, Shane.
If things go well with Ariana Huffington, then maybe you can get some film clients.
You could go on location, you could travel - Yeah, that'd be cool.
- Yeah.
That's great.
I gotta go, you guys.
Don't worry, I'm not going to ask to join you.
know that you all probably think that I'm a monster.
I just - I have something that I need to say to Tina.
- Do you want us to go? - No.
If you have something to say, say it here.
Tina I didn't try to see you, or call you until now because I wanted to make sure tha I could do what you asked of me.
I promise.
I am not going to ever see her again, I am not ever going to speak to her again, I am not ever going to think about her again.
I miss you.
More than that, I need you.
And I don't think that I can I don't think that I can live without you.
It is completely and totally over.
When did you end it? This morning, and I told her that you were the love of my life and that I didn't know what I was doing and that I must've gone temporarily insane.
Did you tell her in person? Or on the phone? Why does that matter? Because I drove by the house at 2:00 AM.
And your car wasn't there.
Did you fuck all night before you told her I was the love of your life this morning?! So rentals is the cash cow of the business, but my real love is picture cars.
- Picture cars? - Yeah.
For the movies? Oh, yeah.
A director will come in and tell me he wants to put Billy Bob in the exact souped-up, Hemi under-glass Bob Riggle drove in the stock car races in Jersey when he was a kid, you know? He'll want the slicks, and the scoops .
.
and the Pink Panther flames, exactly like he remembers it in his head.
Ivan, you are speaking a foreign language to me.
And you know what that does to a girl.
Let's go inside, I got something I wanna show ya.
C'mon.
By driving into the wall at a hotel parking garage? Doesn't sound like a very serious suicide attempt to me.
Well, that's the talk at The Planet.
You know, I feel so bad, because I didn't know she was hurting that much.
I know.
I know.
Let go, and let God.
"Ivan Aycock: vintage restorer to the stars".
That's the bomb! I had no idea.
- This is your office.
- Look, I invited you here because .
.
I have a little present for you.
- Oh, Ivan, I - can't.
- It's not what you think.
Open it.
Okay? This is a key to my apartment.
I live two blocks from The Planet.
I just want you to feel free to stop by anytime you need a break from work.
Oh I mean, it's not a done deal yet.
I still have to go to the bank tomorrow, and have my meeting, and then I have a lot to work on with Marina's family.
Her mom was some kinda damn contessa.
She may be a contessa.
But as far as I'm concerned Kit, you're a queen.
Don't you forget it.
What's this one for? That looks like my car.
Sorta.
- I did a little work on it.
- A little! Ah! A little restoration to help you celebrate getting your license restored.
No one's ever done anything like that for me.
I don't know how to thank you.
- Not yet.
- Why? Because you're not sure.
And I want you .
.
to be sure.
C'mon, gorgeous.
Let's go take it for a spin.
C'mon.
Oooh, yes.
Ah, it looks fabulous.
Wow.
So, Oberlin's supposed to be a really great school.
Yeah, it's a great team.
Coach Haspel! You know, they want me there a week from Monday, so I figure I'd give myself five days to drive to Ohio.
Hey.
Are you still gonna get your teaching certificate? Maybe.
You find an apartment yet? - No.
It's so depressing, Tim.
- You should stay here.
- Take over the lease.
- Oh, no.
Can't afford the rent on this house.
What about your new job? Um, waitresses at Hank 59 do not get paid that much.
Think about it.
You know the rent's all paid through the end of the month.
Are you serious? You'd actually let me stay here? Yeah, what? I'm gonna kick you out on principle? Are you serious, Tim? That would be amazing.
Thing is, I just I need to focus right now, 'cause I'm just, like and, okay.
Charlotte Birch is teaching this master class at C.
U.
and I'm just trying to get in, you know.
Whatever, I'm just having the worst time with my writing, I'm just I don't know, I'm just feeling kinda blocked.
"How every time one person has sex with another person, each of their previous sexual encounters is evoked.
How that links us all into an infinite network of human connections.
" "Each of their previous sexual encounters is evoked.
How that links us into an infinite network of human connections.
" "What Jane understood was that her parents were fighting again.
" "Their human connection, tenuous the night before, .
.
now wearing dangerously thin.
Don't leave.
Hey.
- Hey, Bette.
- Hi, Tim.
I just, uh, wanna say goodbye.
- Oh, yeah, you going somewhere? - Ohio.
Ohio.
Really.
For how long? I took a job there.
Im leaving the day after tomorrow.
So.
Good luck.
Shit, wai- Tim Im sorry.
I didnt know you were moving away.
Don't worry about it, it's fine.
You - wait - you're moving to Ohio for good? I don't - I dont know if it's for good but yeah.
Look, uh I just Im glad I got to know you.
Well Im glad I got to know you too, Tim.
Ill miss you Who knows, maybe some other poor sucker will move in here with his .
.
sexually confused girlfriend, and you can introduce one of your predatory friends .
.
and she can seduce her, and his whole life can fall apart.
You know she tried to kill herself.
She tried to drive her car off the PCH or something.
Marina? I mean I cant blame you if youre, ou know, not sorry for her.
No, I mean I wouldnt wish that on anyone.
You just you never expect your life to throw you so totally off plan.
You know what I mean? Yeah, I think I do.
Is Tina around? Id really like to say goodbye to her.
No.
Shes not here.
Well if I dont see her, could you tell her I said goodbye? Yeah, sure.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I'm Shane.
- Hi, Shane, I'm Ariana.
- Hey, Ariana - I like what you're wearing.
- Thank you.
Who do you dress for? Uh.
.
.
.
myself.
And the girlies sometimes, but mostly me.
- So, you're gay? - Totally.
Yes.
You know, I was at a dinner the other night .
.
and someone said that dykes are the new fags.
What do you think about that? I think people like to categorize things too much.
So what's your book about? This country, politics my ideas about how to make the world better.
Good for you.
What about you, Shane? What do you want? Um well, I haven't really thought about it.
Um.
What about love? No.
Love's a bitch.
I'd rather just have a good time and move on.
Alright, Miss Huffington, here's your soy latte.
Um.
Can I get you anything? - No.
Thank you.
- Just let me know if you change your mind.
- Um, I'm Carmen.
- Hey Carmen.
I'm Shane.
See ya.
Hey.
Sorry.
Don't worry, I'll be fine.
- But I should be here for you.
- Go.
So anyway.
This is my day job.
Um last week I PAd at a Fischerspooner video.
- Cool.
- I know.
I DJ, too, I do Little Temple on Fridays and then I do a night of old school, body wave and electro at MRX every other Wednesday.
Very cool.
So what about you, what do you do when youre not doing hair? What do I do - .
.
nothin much.
Hang out.
- Yeah.
Whatever.
.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Got it.
" We need final touches on Miss Huffington.
" - Catch ya later.
- Alright.
Hey Shane? Do you wanna listen to something really cool? So I heard this mix at The Knitting Factory last weekend.
I mean this is this is exactly where I wanna be in like 5 years from now.
I like a girl with ambition.
Fuck you! Okay.
If you want.
Where does this lead? Oh.
It was from my father.
I never met him, but .
.
supposedly he was some kind of Mayan medicine man.
How come you never met him? He died in a motorcycle crash before I was born.
Look, I dont want any talking in here alright? what is going on? Could someone get me a 20 on Shane? Bob, go to 2 for me.
Yeah, well thats because I called final touches five minutes ago, .
.
so wheres hair?! Hell do a large-scale painting for one of the lobby walls, based on Japanese anime.
Its an illicit exterior Go on, Im listening! I'm listening.
An a illicit exterior installation, uh, .
.
just below the Sawtelle-405 freeway overpass.
You know I saw Noble's performance piece where he crawled naked across a table, ranting about his weakness and perfidy.
Who do you think is gonna fund that? Oh, I applied to the Ahmanson Foundation.
Never gonna happen, theyre way too conservative.
No! This is like the fifth time shes called.
You tell her to fucking stop calling.
Apply to the Peabody Foundation, they might fund a Noble project.
Okay, so you do number three, and I will take two and five, okay? - Okay.
- Are you okay with that? - Yes.
Hello, how are you? May I um, please take your order? Uh, we have a few questions, are the burgers made with .
.
New Zealand or American beef? Id like to substitute feta cheese for the American cheese and mixed greens for the fries.
Um, will you please excuse me for a second? I will be right back.
We'd like to order.
- Hi.
What's going on? - I just wanted to make sure youre okay.
Im okay.
I mean, Im gonna be a shitty waitress, but .
.
Im okay, ya know.
You havent heard, obviously.
Havent heard what? Marina tried to commit suicide.
Yeah.
She checked into the Bel Air Hotel.
The Presidential Suite.
You said she tried, she didnt kill herself? No, apparently, uh the people across the hall heard shouting, they thought a woman was getting hurt so they called the front desk.
The bell boy, um found Marina alone in the room, with like 3 bottle of pills, totally out of her skull.
- Oh, poor Marina.
- They called me.
I dont know why, I guess my number was in her purse.
I managed to find her mother, I remembered Marina telling me me she lives in Umbria, so In a villa.
Jen, I feel like maybe I shouldnt say this, but when I got to the hospital .
.
she was calling your name.
Miss! Wed like to order.
Pookie, you wont believe this! Look at this.
- That? - Isnt this beautiful? The Jura Capresso S8 Espresso Coffee Maker? One thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine dollars? Tonya! We can't register for that! Well Da a few people might chip in together.
Dana, do not second-guess the generosity of our friends.
Now, look, I wanna show you something at Geary's.
Hello! - This is Dana Fairbanks.
- Hi! Yeah, hi! Um I - I think we should talk.
Uh-huh Its Robbie, my old - tennis partner before Harrison - I'd love to see you.
Where, when? - Honey, look - I think we need to think about some cut crystal.
- Okay! Alright.
How bout tomorrow morning at Runyon Canyon? Th - uh how bout I meet you at the gate at 10:30? - Its a little early - Okay.
Eleven.
Eleven is fine.
Okay, but you know with traffic it's it might - the 405 Four oclock is good, four, uh four in the afternoon.
- Ill see you at four in the afternoon.
- Okay.
Bye.
It's good.
Knit knit away.
Talkin'.
Dear, I don't think you're gonna be able to get anybody's head through that thing.
You know, though.
I think this would make a really good harness .
.
for a strap on dildo.
We could at least pretend to be human? - Let me talk to Tina.
- What would you say? That my sister is a pootie chasin dog, who deserves to be tied down and whupped upside the head, .
.
but it doesnt change the fact that she loves you more than she loves her own life.
And that you should finish punishing her and get back to figuring on .
.
how to live with one another for the next 50 years or more.
You could give it a try.
Now dont you go and pull a Marina on me now.
- Kit.
- Im just sayin'.
I read your business plan.
It's solid.
Id be happy to co-sign on the loan.
Well, what about the down payment? Kit, I dont have fifty thousand dollars, not liquid, not that I can get my hands on.
- Ivans the only one that - who could possibly - - Ivan is not a good idea.
- Why is that? - Because it further confuses an already complicated situation, you invite Ivan to be your business partner and then Ivan takes that as a broader invitation.
That is so typical of you.
You know, I have an impossible task to do, And I come up with one possible solution, and you diss my solution! - Im not dissing you.
- Then what do you call it, then? Im pointing out a considerable flaw in what may or may not be .
.
a solution in the first place.
What makes you think that I dont wanna make that invitation? Because Kit, - .
.
youre straight.
- Who says? - You're not? - I am, but I dont need you to tell me that, and neither does Ivan.
The way I see it, Ivan is the one who gets to say whether or not hes .
.
a man or a woman.
And hes been telling me hes more of a man.
Thats delusional thinking, it doesnt work that way.
Maybe in the world according to Bette but the world according to Bette doesnt have the same props it once did, .
.
you know what Im sayin baby sis? You didnt do anything Jenny, she wasnt right.
I knew it from the moment I met her, you know? Scoot over.
Are you sure you dont need to go to the hospital? - Oh my God, Im fine.
- Yeah? - Yeah, Im fine.
I fainted.
- Yeah.
I do that sometimes, it's fine.
- I hope somebodys looking after her.
- Someones looking after you.
- How's that? - My mom used to put these compresses on my forehead.
Dont tell me I remind you of a dysfunctional mother.
No, I dont know if she was dysfunctional, ya know? I mean, who could say if a mom's good or bad? Hows your apartment hunt coming? So shitty.
For practically, like, one thousand dollars .
.
I could live in a hovel, underneath the freeway, you know, then Tim was like, You can take over the lease but theres no way that I could afford it, so I have a proposition for you.
Why dont you move in with me? You know, its totally rent controlled, two-bedroom .
.
I afford it easily, you dont have to pay.
I cant.
I think we could be happy, Jen.
So what's up.
I wanted to ask if you could be outta the house for a couple hours tonight.
Uh-huh.
'Cause Tina needs to come by and pick up some of her things,shes - .
.
running out of clothes and stuff - - It's her house, she can come by anytime she wants.
You know thats not true.
You know what I did Alice I couldnt help myself.
How does that work? Because - .
.
it's kind of an act of free will.
- You know, I - I .
.
exhausted every ounce of will that I had and I still couldnt stop myself.
- Did you fall in love? - No.
I love Tina.
Tina is the only person that Im in love with.
But youre still sittin on Candace face.
Actually, Im not.
I told you, I ended it as soon as I could.
As soon as you could? - What are you like a sex addict now? - No, Im not a sex addict! Jesus.
You know, I think calling sex an addiction is an excuse for bad behavior, and I know I behaved badly, but Im prepared to take responsibility for it.
No, you behaved really badly.
I know that it sounds like an excuse, but you know what? The fact is she disappeared on me.
She was depressed and she was completely .
.
wrapped up in herself, and I tried to talk to her about it but she .
.
she completely shut me out.
- For how long? - Two or three months.
Out of seven years? I think you could have waited.
She abandoned me as much as I abandoned her.
We both did it.
Yeah, but, only one of you was having an orgasm.
Fuck you, Alice.
Just be outta the house! Ivan, it's me! I'm a little early! In fact, I'm a lot early! Um, I wanted to talk to you about something that I'm very nervous about, since you're so generous Shit! Ivan I - I am so sorry! Look, I didn't see anything! - Kit - Look, I'll wait for you in the other room! - Kit, I think you should go! - Look, Ivan, I will wait til you get dressed, okay, I really need to talk to you because this - this thing that happened - Kit! Listen, okay?! I - I - I want you to leave! Do you understand? Go! Fuck! Shit.
So.
You were saying? Well I was saying it's obvious there's something going on between us.
What do you think it is? I dunno.
I mean, do you - do you have any ideas? Maybe.
I dunno.
Maybe we're attracted to each other.
Yeah.
Maybe yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Maybe if we admit that we're attracted to each other, you know, sometimes admitting a taboo takes the power out of it.
I admit it, I'm attracted to you.
How long have you been? I don't know, I never realized it before.
Okay, go on, it's your turn.
I admit I'm attracted to you.
- What does it mean? - Well It doesn't have to mean anything, I mean .
.
being attracted to someone's no big deal.
- It's just an attraction.
- Right.
We just we have to agree not to act on it.
Okay, how do we do that? Well, we just took the first step, we took the power out of it.
I think we need to take the second step.
Yeah.
Okay.
We need to counteract it.
We just need to avoid all situations where we find each other most attractive.
We need, like rules of un-attraction.
Okay, like never be alone together, in places like the bathroom at The Planet.
Right.
Never be alone together.
Especially never be alone together .
.
in places wheres theres like a bed or a couch.
Right, or - or - a table.
Or a floor.
Or the backseat of a car.
Ooh, thatd be good.
That wouldnt be good! Okay, you need to stop showing up at The Planet after youve worked out, .
.
when youre all sweaty and your veins are all popping all over the place.
You like that? Tonya hates that.
Alright, well then you cant wear those shirts any more.
- What shirts? - You know, the ones where .
.
they cling to you in some places and fall off you in others? Fuck you.
Okay, thats totally against the rules.
Come on Al! Wait! Tim? Thanks.
Id like to keep this one.
I dont want the memory of us to evanesce.
Let's not evanesce.
I needed to see you You don't want to give me anything I need, okay.
That's fair.
Nothing's fair, Bette.
You broke everything that meant anything to me.
- Let me fix it! - No.
- I won't accept that.
- Too Bad.
Look, I I overestimated myself.
Alright.
Supporting us both financially, and then - and then when we lost the baby, I thought that I had to take on the whole burden, I thought that I had to absorb your pain and ignore my own.
Well, I hope you had fun blowing off some steam with the carpenter.
TINA!! Hey.
How ya doin'? Um, to tell you the truth, not - not too good.
Yeah.
- Look, I'm sorry.
- Don't be sorry.
- Just tell me what's going on.
- I just wanted to have a good time tonight.
- I didn't think I'd see you.
- Okay.
But.
Here I am.
You don't think that you could've changed your plan a little bit? I don't have a plan.
That's the point.
Jen.
Jen.
No this seems wrong.
I don't think this is the way we should It's not the way - Is that good? - Yeah What are you doing? I'm gonna go.
I don't wanna wait until the morning Tim.
Please.
Don't leave.
Ow! FUCK! Fuck! thx to Steph's transcripts