The Santa Clauses (2022) s02e01 Episode Script

[Scott] Last season on The Santa Clauses…
[laughs] Ho ho ho!
My kids don't have any magic powers.
You sure about that?
Your Santa ghost friends were right.
We do have powers.
Sandra can speak to animals,
and I can see holes in the sky.
[Betty] The Secessus Clause states that
you may step down once
you've chosen a proper successor.
So, the Secessus Clause has
a successor subsection.
We could keep it in the family.
I'm gonna do this with my team.
-You want us to go with you?
-All of us?
Cal, I want you to make sure
that bag's filled with gifts.
These things still work, right?
If you shake 'em, they show
your favorite Christmas memories?
-[librarian] Yes.
-[Cal] Sweet.
Then I'd like to take
some snow globes to go.
Which ones?
All of 'em.
[Carol laughs] Okay, what's so funny?
Everybody's waking up now with something
they didn't ask for under their tree.
What have we done?
-[gasps]
-[kisses]
Cal, did you remember to make sure
Riley didn't remember? Did you remember?
-Yeah. I-I remembered.
-What could go wrong?
[Betty] This measures Christmas spirit.
But look at the middle now.
It hasn't been like that
since the 14th century.
Wars and the--
Mad Santa. Yes.
That's the last time
Christmas was threatened.
[Ozzy Osbourne] All aboard ♪
[cackles]
["Crazy Train" playing]
-[shouting]
-[swords clacking]
[shouting]
[munches]
This is lunacy. Do they not know who I am?
Well, Santa, you could run faster
if you lost the turkey leg and mead.
You can't run from a coup
on an empty stomach, Olga.
You call this running?
No Santa has ever been forcibly removed.
This way to safety.
And how dare you call me Mad Santa?
My name is Magnus Antas,
and I will smite anyo--
Whoa. Well, there, I just heard it.
The yelling, the threats.
The name Magnus Antas sort of does
sound like Mad Santa.
[laughs] Okay. Clever!
May the name Mad Santa
cause fear in people for hundreds…
[microphone feedback]
…of years. [echoes]
["Crazy Train" continues on speakers]
Kris, it's time. Ho ho ho.
[groans] Oh, yeah. [laughs] Okay.
Let me grab my beard,
and we'll go, go, go.
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Come take your pho-ho-to.
-[laughs] I wrote that last night.
-Yeah, nice.
Look, it's snowing! [shouting]
Oh, boy. That's cement mix.
Uh, don't get any of that on your tongue.
We really gotta call maintenance.
-There is no maintenance department.
-Bob quit?
Yeah, but before he fixed the PA system,
so you'll have to shout.
Oh, I don't mind shouting.
Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!
Come get your churros. Two-for-one churro.
Spoken code word, churro!
Careful, that's not real candy cane!
[laughs]
All part of the experience, folks!
Just pour some hot water on his tongue.
It'll detach.
All right. No shoving. Everyone will get
a chance to sit in Santa's sleigh.
It's just the three of them.
Well, okay.
Who's first?
On, Donner! On, Blitzen! Yeehaw!
I love what I do.
-Ten and two on the reins, babe.
-All right.
It's incredible up here.
You know,
I didn't quite get it before, Dad,
but you have the best job in the world.
-[Carol giggles]
-I knew you'd love it.
It's like I can feel all the joy
in the world all the way up here.
[Carol] Mmm.
-Way, way up here.
-Don't get woozy on us.
Who let Grandpa drive the sleigh?
Let's see what this thing can do.
-"Who let Grandpa drive?"
-[Cal laughs]
That sounded like a challenge.
-Hold that there.
-What?
Anybody in here wonder what it's like
to see a reindeer upside down?
Nope. Nobody wonders that.
Let's go for it. Well, you know,
unless Cal's too scared.
-No, I'm not scared.
-Really?
Here we go. Come on!
-[passengers screaming, cheering]
-[Scott shouting]
[laughing]
[screaming, laughing]
[Ozzy] I'm goin' off the rails
On a crazy train ♪
-[laughs]
-That was awesome.
-Ooh! Cal, did you enjoy that?
-Oh, yeah. He passed out.
-Huh?
-[music stops]
[Carol] Ooh.
[both] Oh!
[theme playing]
[choir harmonizing]
["Jingle Bells" plays]
[snores]
-Whoa, nice tree. Great presentation.
-[Kris snoring]
[groans, snores]
Rum cake and bourbon balls?
[softly] You know your Santa Claus.
-Merry Christmas.
-[Kris snoring]
[rustling]
A toast, if I may.
Christmas spirit is at an all-time high.
The result of giving everyone
magical snow globes
to see their favorite Christmas memories.
[Scott] That's the best part of Christmas,
is spending time with your loved ones.
-[screaming]
-Which is why I'm so geeked to turn Santa
into a family business.
Yeah.
But we can't forget that Christmas almost
ended, and that's not gonna happen again.
So, here's what I wanna do.
I wanna upgrade the E.L.F.S.
into a security force to be reckoned with.
Well, sir, then we'll have to reckon
with the fact that Gary is incompetent
and not well liked.
She ain't wrong.
Uh, Gary, this is a private meeting.
[groans]
-Let me take care of Gary.
-You gonna kill him?
No. I wanna take over the E.L.F.S.
You wanna be a cop?
When the elves disappeared,
I wasn't here to help.
And I wanna be the protector.
That is a job for Mrs. Claus.
All right, are you ready
to hear my suggestions?
Can't wait.
But spending time in the Yule-Verse
with the other Santas reminded me
I'm just a link in an infinite chain.
It's up to me
to come up with the next link.
Yes, mistakes were made in that regard.
Don't blame yourself. The mistake was
passing over the obvious contender.
I'm flattered, but I am ineligible.
No, no, no. I'm talking about Cal.
May I remind you that Cal has neither
the physical, mental,
or emotional acumen for the job?
When he ties his shoelaces, he still says,
"Over, under, around and through.
Meet Mr. Bunny, pull him through."
-[chuckles] I know.
-[Cal stutters] I don't need to.
I just like it.
[stammers] Maybe we should move
the birthday party upstairs.
Oh, yes. Merriment.
That's what the hats are for.
I can't believe you want me to be
the next Santa.
-Yeah.
-This is-- This is so exciting.
I have so many ideas.
Yeah, that's great. But to be real,
we'll probably never get to any of those.
I really feel myself coming into my…
[straining] …Santa powers.
That is the north polarity
rushing through your DNA, Son.
[exhales] I can't wait to tell Riley.
[groans] Listen, Cal, I think it's best
if you forget about Riley.
You know, we need to tell Sandra
about her new role.
[Scott] That's right, that's right.
Sandra, this is a family business,
and I want you to be in charge
of the reindeer.
-Oh, yes!
-[Carol giggles]
[Scott] That's not all.
I want you to take care of
all of the animals here at the North Pole.
All the animals?
We'll call her Animal Girl.
We don't need a nickname.
I can come up with that.
In my old toy business background--
-Ani-Girl!
-Maybe you're not listening.
I can come up with nicknames.
What about Mighty Dame
of the Northern Stables Girl?
Where'd that come from?
You just thought that up?
I don't need all the names.
I can come up with stuff like this.
I already came up with one.
Thanks so much.
I already put it on a mug for you.
What do you think of that?
A mug? Wow.
"Keeper of the creatures."
Girl.
-I'm spitballing. It's an idea.
-It's-- Oh, yeah.
-[Scott] It's just an idea. Okay.
-Time for the birthday cake.
-Thank goodness.
-Look at this.
-Ooh. Yeah.
-Yeah. Okay. Wait a minute.
Where's my special cake-eating fork?
-[giggles]
-I can't eat cake without my fork.
-My fork-- This is a disaster.
-Aw. Aw.
-Okay.
-Whoa. Aren't you forgetting something?
Oh, right. Uh…
Thank you, Mom and Dad, for making me.
-[retches]
-No, no, no. You make a wish.
Oh.
-[Scott applauding] Yeah!
-[Carol applauding, cheering, laughing]
-[Scott] All right.
-Dad.
Yeah?
-It worked.
-Yeah.
I don't think he's forgetting about Riley.
So, Cal wished his girlfriend here.
What's the harm?
Well, I think it's reckless.
You don't see me
just bringing random people
that I like up here to the North Pole.
That's exactly what you did with me.
-No, my dear. That was magic.
-Aw.
And besides, Riley didn't seem surprised
that she was here.
Which means Cal never dusted her.
It's fine. She won't tell anyone.
Right. Because teenage girls are known
for their ability to keep secrets.
-[giggles]
-Cal has to learn to focus.
Focus on being Santa.
It takes focus, focus-- There's that fork.
Scott, I don't think that Cal
is cut out for this job, or even wants it.
He just turned 18.
-He loves the real world.
-Okay, what are his options?
Let's say he goes to college
to be with Riley,
he gets a CPA degree, they get married,
he never makes partner,
vacations twice a year, retires at 65.
[stammers] Is it easier to blame Riley
than to even contemplate
that maybe your son
doesn't wanna be exactly like you?
I think he's destined to be Santa Claus,
that's it.
Remember, if you love something,
let it go.
You might as well,
because Betty is never gonna go for this.
I'm the boss around here.
Betty just, you know,
makes all the decisions.
[Carol] Yeah.
[Betty] Who does Santa Scott think
makes the decisions around here?
Cal would be the worst Santa
since the last guy he tried to make Santa.
This is a tough one.
You're perfect. Santa's perfect.
You're perfect. Santa's perfect.
I don't really know what to think here.
Tomorrow I'll make him think
it was my idea, so he hates it.
Dinner's ready.
I like my popcorn and cranberries
slightly warm.
No, no, no! Don't!
[Noel] What's all this?
It's my time to go on Kribble Krabble.
[gasps] Honeybuns, that's fantastic!
A year in the real world
to experience all life has to offer.
I wish I could go with you,
but you know the rules.
I'm so happy for you, crumb cake.
I don't have time for frivolity.
They can't make me go.
[knocks]
We're here to make you
go on Kribble Krabble.
"The Kribble Krabble Clause."
"In accepting position of Head Elf,
you agree to take a leave of absence
from the North Pole
for education and rejuvenation purposes,
whether you wish to or not."
You're way overdue.
I can't go now.
I'll defer.
"No exceptions."
I know, but in this case--
"That includes you, Betty."
These clauses are so specific.
You know the penalty
for those who don't go.
Fine.
I can't believe you brought security.
Did you really think I was going to run?
No. [chuckles]
-[static on radio]
-I've got eyes on her.
[Sandra] We've been here for hours.
And he's not being unreasonable, Do--
-Prettyboy.
-Okay.
All he's saying is to cut back
on the peppermint
'cause he has to fly behind you,
where your butt is.
I feel ganged up on, Animal Girl.
W-- Where did you hear that name?
-I don't know.
-[Riley] Wow.
[gasps] This place is so unreal.
I know. And one day, it'll all be mine.
You can't tell anyone,
but I'm gonna be the next Santa.
[laughing] OMG.
-Yeah.
-I am dating the next Santa Claus.
-[laughs] My dad is gonna be so happy.
-Yeah.
He's so tired of me
always bringing bikers home.
-What?
-[gasps] Santa's reindeer?
-No way.
-[grunts]
Yeah, my sister can talk to the animals,
but I have the magic touch.
-No.
-[both gasp]
[screaming]
-You okay, Swizzle Stick?
-[chuckles]
Sorry.
-It was a weird sort of spasm.
-It's oka-- It's okay.
[stammers] I know you didn't mean to.
That's why my dad put Sandra
in charge of the reindeer.
-In charge of us? [giggles]
-[laughs] No one tells us what to do.
Nice going, big mouth.
-Wait, wait, h-hold on.
-[reindeer grumbling]
You can actually understand them?
All I hear is super angry grunts.
Well, if you're in charge,
Blitzen's been eating my grain.
Well, only because Donner
has been eating my grain.
Both of you are giving me a migraine.
Be thankful you don't speak animal.
Ever since we got back to the North Pole,
it's gotten worse.
-And now I can hear all of them.
-Wait, like, all the reindeer?
And their fleas!
-I think they're unionizing.
-[flea] We have rights too!
Believe it or not,
animals complain more than humans,
which I did not think was possible.
-Wow. Hurtful.
-Wow. So hurtful.
-Rude.
-Very hurtful.
-Tell it to the fleas!
-[reindeer grunts]
[Kris] Hey, Dad.
So, uh, did you get a snow globe?
I was wondering what, uh,
old Christmas memory it showed you.
You know, maybe the non-believers…
[stammers]
…they didn't get 'em.
I didn't think of that.
But it's gonna be real hard
to deny Santa after this.
So, who knows?
Maybe Santapolis can rebound.
The snow globes are so cool.
You know
everyone is still talking about them?
The magic only lasts for a week
before they shut down,
but hopefully, people will carry it
in their hearts for a long time.
That is so hot.
Well, Riley, I hope you enjoyed your tour.
Probably not gonna remember a lot of this.
Um, Dad, can we not dust Riley, please?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Oh, I'm sorry. What's dusting?
It's like a memory eraser,
but it's just one
of those dumb ancient rules.
There's so much I can't wait to change.
They just updated the manual
200 years ago.
-But you know what I was thinking?
-Uh-uh.
What if instead of flying,
Santa took a train?
-Where would you-- But you can't-- No.
-[laughs] That is so cool.
And instead of a sack,
Santa had a cool messenger bag, you know.
-[Riley] Ah.
-Oh, I really wanna update the hat.
-Uh…
-Uh, one of those is a really great idea.
[sighs] You know why I envy Sandra?
She only has to talk to critters.
-Right?
-Ooh. Uh-uh. Mm-mmm.
-How are the reindeer doing?
-Blah, blah, blah!
Why can't everyone
just stop talking to me? Gosh, Dad!
We don't yell at the North Pole, Sandra.
-Carol!
-Why are you yelling?
'Cause somebody, not important who,
said something Sandra didn't like.
Mom, Dad wants to erase Riley's memory,
but erasing someone's memory
is like erasing someone's life.
-No, it's not.
-Our first kiss is in there.
-Aw.
-[Riley] Aw.
Wait, if we stay kissing,
then the memory can never go away.
-That's not necessarily--
-[gasps]
-You don't have to--
-Yeah, okay.
Oh. Aw. Ew.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
No dusting, and for the record,
this was my idea.
Mm-hmm. [clears throat] I'm proud of you.
Yeah, we'll get
the Gaslighting Department on this.
They can monitor her behavior and
adjust her memory if she starts blabbing.
-I did the same thing to Simon.
-Now I'm less proud.
Okay. You guys, Riley's gotta go home,
and she's gotta go home now. I mean it.
But she can come back, right?
Maybe somebody could dust me.
[upbeat music playing]
On the roofs of Tokyo
Or down in London in the snow ♪
With a cookie selection ♪
And a snow globe's reflection
I'm dancing with my elf ♪
When there's no more toys in sight
At the end of Christmas night ♪
Well, I wait so long
For this merry sensation ♪
And I'm dancing with my elf ♪
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪
-Dancing with my elf ♪
[doorbell rings]
Dancing with my elf
When the lights have been… ♪
Look, someone left this at the door.
[gasps] It's for us.
Ho ho ho-ho! ♪
[music stops]
Party's over, elves.
We're taking over the North Pole.
-[elves scream]
-Oh, no. Whatever can we do?
-We're just so little.
-[laughing]
Where did that come from?
-[elf 1] Huh?
-[elf 2 gasps]
"To bad guys."
It's for us.
-[music continues]
-Yippee ki-yay, Nutter Butters.
[elves cheering]
[Gary] Caught you red-and-green handed.
Take 'em away.
Hi, I'm Gareth the Great
of the Effective Liberating Flight Squad,
and we want you to join us.
How many of these recruitment videos
did they make?
We made dozens
of those E.L.F.S. recruitment videos.
-That one was nominated for an Elfie.
-[music ends]
Why are you here in my office watching it?
-You may wanna sit down.
-[groans]
[gulps, exhales heavily]
Ew.
-Yeah, it's been a tough week.
-Mmm.
I thought it would be smooth sailing
turning this into a family business,
'cause, you know, that was the point,
to keep the family together.
But, you know, Sandra,
she's-she's upset about something.
Ooh.
And Carol is taking Mrs. Claus
in a weird direction.
[groans]
And Cal,
I want him to follow in my footsteps.
Instead he's following
his girlfriend's footsteps around here
like a little baby polar bear.
[imitates baby polar bear]
-Uh…
-You get it, huh?
[stammers] Oh, no.
I thought I took off too much,
but we're good.
Yeah, we're good.
The challenge will be
to get Betty to sign off on Cal.
That's not gonna be easy.
Sir, I have horrible news.
You may wanna stand up for this.
Okay. Maurice, are we done?
I've been done for ages.
I thought we were just bonding.
We were. That's great.
There you go.
Okay. What's up?
According to the elf clauses,
I have to leave for Kribble Krabble.
[laughs]
What? Oh, wow. Kribble Krabble.
But you're gone for a while.
That's horrible news. Tell me more.
I'm supposed to leave right away,
but I can get out of it
if you sign a waiver
saying it's a bad time.
You want Santa to write you a note
to get out of this?
There's rules, you know.
You hate rules.
Things have never been better
at the North Pole.
You're gonna have to go eventually.
-This might be the best time.
-[sighs]
-Guess I am a victim of my own excellence.
-Yeah.
This place really does hum.
[sighs] But I'm gonna need time
to find a replacement.
-One who is equally strict and steadfast.
-Noel.
Noel? Noel? I love him to death.
He's everything to me,
but he's not Head Elf material.
I mean, he's just gonna do
everything you want him to.
So, it's decided then.
I made a list of places and things
for you to see and do on Kribble Krabble.
Thank you.
-And I got you this.
-[giggles]
You can take it,
and it's like I'm there with you.
You can take pictures
of everywhere we've been.
Well, I got you something too.
[both giggling]
The first thing I'm gonna tell her is
I still think it's a terrible idea
to make me Head Elf.
When things go wrong, I scream.
Head Elves can't scream.
Which is why I made you this.
[sighs] A scream pillow.
You know me so well.
I know you're going to do a great job.
-I have complete faith in you.
-Thank you.
Now, let's get you to Kribble Krabble.
Oh, the places you'll go.
New York City, Paris, Area 51.
-Noel, How many hot cocoas have you had?
-Just seven.
-[choir] Christmas ♪
-[singer 1] Lots of people around ♪
[elves chattering]
-What's happening? What's wrong?
-Nothing. We're here to see you off.
Betty, everybody's so excited that
you're going to Kribble Krabble, you know.
You wanna have a lot of fun.
Do everything,
but make sure you come back.
-[laughing] Just not too soon.
-Scott.
That was the inner voice. Inner voice.
Come on. Let's not act like children.
[bells jingling]
That's better.
Betty, Betty, Betty.
Please don't leave us
with Noel at the helm.
You're really in charge.
Don't let him out of your sight.
[singers]
And all the fun we had last year ♪
-[choir] Christmas ♪
-[singer 2] Pretty lights on the tree ♪
-[choir] Christmas ♪
-[singer 1] I'm watching 'em shine ♪
-One more thing.
-Oh, I know. You'll miss me most. [laughs]
No. While I'm gone, no big changes.
-Okay.
-I'm serious.
You're nothing but serious.
Okay, no big changes.
[sighs]
-[singer 2] Yeah ♪
-[choir] Christmas ♪
-[singer 1] Hey, whoa ♪
-[singer 2] Baby, please come home ♪
Bye, Honeybuns.
[singer 1] Baby, please come home ♪
[choir] Christmas ♪
[portal zaps]
[singers] Baby, please-- ♪
[music stops]
Okay, first big change,
Cal's gonna be the next Santa.
-[elves clamoring]
-Betty!
-[gasps]
-[elf] That's against protocol.
Come back.
Betty's counting on me
to make sure everything runs smooth.
Smooth didn't even last a second!
-[panting]
-I choose to focus on the positive.
-Which is?
-I'm-I'm not you.
[sighs] Fair.
Cal's great, right?
He's gonna do great.
Betty wouldn't like it,
but she's not always right.
What am I saying? Betty's perfect.
Santa Scott making wild decisions
on his own is very Magnus Antas.
What's Magnus Antas?
-[shoes squeak]
-Is that conveyor belt squeaking again?
[screams, muffled]
Okay. Who's Magnus Antas?
-Uh, a-- a pas-- past Santa. Uh…
-Uh, a p-past-- past Santa.
And?
A thousand years ago,
Christmas was based in Europe,
but when humans started stealing
the magic for themselves,
Magnus Antas moved the elves
and his operation to the North Pole.
[giggles]
Wait a minute. I was in the Yule-Verse,
and I met all the Santas.
I never met one
with a great name like that.
Magnus Antas.
That's almost like a superhero Santa.
'Cause you could just shorten it
into Mega Santa.
Look at my power! I'm Mega Santa.
I don't bring the gifts.
I throw them at the children.
-[laughs] Spot on, Santa.
-[Scott] Ho ho ho.
You know,
I don't know enough about Santa lore.
We gotta make North Pole history
part of Cal's training.
-All right? This is good stuff.
-Yeah.
-See you guys.
-[Noel] We can do that. [chuckles]
[groans] This is bad.
If Santa hears the truth
about Magnus Antas,
he'll never trust any elf ever again.
He might even get rid of us.
The one thing we can't do is panic.
Noel, it's against the rules
to destroy official records.
I know. I shouldn't have this job.
[groans]
We have to hide all evidence of
the last years of the Magnus Antas reign.
-When he became…
-[sighs]
The Mad Santa.
What did I ever do to you?
Was it the torture? The bedlam?
Me threatening to turn
the world's children into nutcrackers?
I admit it, yes.
Sometimes I can go a little--
I can go a little far.
But is it a crime to be a little moody?
Remember you all said
I was the best Santa Claus ever.
You said it.
It was a while ago, but you said it.
Fine.
Fine. But make it your best shot.
And for your sake,
you better hope it's everlasting.
[groans]
[wood rattles]
[slams]
The nutcracker's gone.
[Carol] Nutcracker?
What nutcracker?
Uh, just some old artifact. It's weird.
Betty had a report
on missing North Pole artifacts.
Oh, this might be our first case.
It sounds unsolvable.
-Let's go.
-I don't know where she's going.
Hey, this was the Mad Santa nutcracker.
You know what happens
if it gets into the wrong hands.
It only works if it comes in contact
with North Pole magic.
What are you so scared of?
[Kris] Dad. Please don't use that to--
-Crack nuts?
-[groans]
It's a nutcracker.
Yeah, but it's, like, 200 years old.
-[sighs]
-I bought it off a dealer in Norway.
Another foolhardy purchase.
[sighs]
[sighs]
I think it's time we pull the plug.
C-- Oh, come on. Come on, Dad.
Look, look, look.
I know it's your money, but it's my park.
Look. [sighs]
The snow globes. The snow globes.
They're gonna turn things around.
They-- I know they mean something.
[scoffs]
[zapping]
Wait. There was something there.
There was something. There was a memory.
It's just another piece of junk,
like everything else in this museum.
It's time to grow up, Son.
Dad. Dad, wait.
-Wait. Wait.
-[glass shatters]
Wait, Dad. Dad.
[liquid gurgling]
[electricity buzzes]
[nutcracker cracking]
[clattering]
[groans, breathes heavily]
[both screaming]
[screaming continues]
-[fireworks explode]
-Where are the kids? It's almost midnight.
They're gonna miss the fireworks
and the fires.
The elves just aren't that good
at pyrotechnics.
[chuckles] Sandra wanted to be alone,
and Cal is sad that Riley isn't here.
His preoccupation with Riley-- It--
It's getting in the way
of his training, honey.
Okay. Here's my advice
on the whole Cal/Riley situation.
Just let it go.
You know what's the worst thing
you can give a child?
-[sighs] Expired pudding?
-It's not as bad as you think it is.
It's a little tang to it,
actually makes it more interesting.
No, worst thing you can give a kid
is a balloon.
You know, 'cause kids like the balloon,
they wanna see it fly.
So, they let it go.
The balloon doesn't come back.
You got a screaming kid
and a stressed-out parent
because they let it go.
I'm not really sure if you're the kid
or the parent in this story,
but I'm pretty clear
that Cal is the balloon.
I don't wanna lose Cal.
Neither do I.
[villagers] Three, two, one.
Happy New Year! [cheering]
[Carol] Oh.
[fish] Animal Girl,
sprinkle more powder, please.
-I'm hungry! [groans]
-[sighs]
Hey, are you having trouble
with the Winternet?
I can't connect with Riley.
[sighs] This place can be so frustrating.
Frustrating?
Try putting up with all the noise.
-[fish] Sprinkle more powder!
-Maybe. [straining] Yeah.
I just wish me and Riley could have
a normal relationship, like--
I just miss her. You wouldn't understand.
[fish] Come on, Animal Girl.
-Don't freeze me out! I sure would like…
-[groans]
[sighs] Not right now!
[Cal grunting]
[panting] What?
[Mad Santa breathing heavily]
I cannot believe Santa is in my museum.
-Did you come out of my snow globe?
-[sighs] Snow globe?
You look different than
when I first met you when I was a kid,
but I love the green jacket.
I-I actually have a nutcracker
that looks just like you.
-Where is that nutcracker?
-[grunts, retches]
[breathes heavily]
Nutcracker!
Curses! They will rue the day.
-[grumbles]
-Mm-hmm.
Anyway, I'm really happy that you're here.
Can I get a hug?
-No, mostly because I can't move my arms.
-Mmm.
-If I could, it'd still be a no. [grunts]
-Well, you know what?
I-I think I speak for the whole world
when I say thank you.
Thank you for the magic
of those snow globes.
Magic? I would never give humans magic.
They can't be trusted with it.
-[grumbles]
-So, you're not the real Santa?
I am Santa, the rightful Santa!
The Santa who occupies
the North Pole now is a fraud!
[thunder rumbles]
Here comes Santa Claus ♪
Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
Pulling on the reins ♪
Bells are ringing, children singing
All is merry and bright ♪
So hang your stockings
And say your prayers ♪
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight ♪
Here comes Santa Claus ♪
Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
He's got a bag
That's filled with toys ♪
For boys and girls again ♪
Hear those sleigh bells
Jingle jangle ♪
Oh, what a beautiful sight ♪
So jump in bed and cover your head
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight ♪
Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus ♪
Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
He doesn't care if you're rich or poor ♪
He loves you just the same ♪
Santa Claus knows
We're all God's children ♪
That makes everything right ♪
So fill your hearts
With Christmas cheer ♪
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight ♪
[with choir]
Here comes Santa Claus ♪
Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
Pulling on the reins ♪
Bells are ringing, children singing
All is merry and bright ♪
Hang your stockings
And say your prayers ♪
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight ♪