The Serpent Queen (2022) s02e01 Episode Script
Grand Tour
1
[RUGGIERI] Previously
on The Serpent Queen
[CATHERINE]
I used to be just like you,
with nobody in the world
to care about me.
[RUGGIERI] If you learn to use your
powers, you will achieve greatness.
- How would you know?
- I'm a fortune-teller.
My dear niece, your marriage
has been arranged,
second son of the king of France.
[CATHERINE] Then something
terrible happened. I fell in love.
[DIANE] He's the best man I know.
[CATHERINE] And do you know
what I learnt that day?
Never to trust a single soul.
[FRANCIS]
I'm afraid I have bad news.
Your uncle, the pope
Medici pig.
He's dead.
[DIANE] Don't you understand?
We will both be out
unless you give Henri a son.
[YOUNG CATHERINE]
I must get pregnant.
I'll pay what's required.
With Ruggieri, there's always a price.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Find the man who killed my son!
[MONTMORENCY] Was it you
or your dressmaker?
Someone's got to die.
- [ SEBASTIO] Please!
- [SCREAMS]
Your new dauphine is with child.
When you find life
conspiring against you,
you must find a way
to change it to your favor.
- [EXPLOSION]
- [SCREAMING]
I tolerated the nights
you spent together.
I am his wife!
I'm where I want to be.
You joust in the ceremonies today.
It would please me to see you
as you were when we first met.
- [ARMOR CLATTERS]
- [AUDIENCE GASPS]
Madame de Poitiers, the king is dead.
This is a family matter. Your
presence is no longer required.
My first order of business
A decree that makes Protestantism
illegal on French soil.
Fuck off.
Banishment.
[LOUIS] You fucking bitch!
I will wind her up
and watch that silly girl burn
this country to the ground.
Do you have a plan?
Separate the king from Mary's influence.
I must ask you to reconsider
before we reach our destination.
Well, what happens
at our destination, Mother?
- [ARROW WHISTLES]
- [GRUNTS]
- An attack on the king!
- [COUGHS]
[ALL YELLING]
What is the fate of a young boy
when the fate of a nation
hangs in the balance?
It is everything.
Fuck! You're fucking mental.
I'm not.
I'm just better at this than you are.
[MONTMORENCY]
Tell me where to find Antoine.
[FRANCOIS OF GUISE]
Montmorency will be regent.
I cannot just be forced
to sign away the regency
to whomever has the bigger gun.
[MONTMORENCY]
I don't see why not.
- [GUNSHOT]
- [GROANS]
[MONTMORENCY] The boy, I had him
sign over the regency
to someone capable
of sacrificing their friends
and plotting with their
enemies to rule France.
Why does it have to hurt so much?
I have something here
that will take your pain away.
Give it to me, please.
[CATHERINE] And now you must rest.
[FRANCIS] And now I will leave
you to live with your choices.
[PANTING]
[COURT MESSENGER]
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Louis of Bourbon is pardoned
for the crime of treason
by order of the new regent,
Her Majesty, Queen Catherine.
[MARY] I will write
Queen Elizabeth in England.
And when she hears
that some commoner
has stolen the throne of France,
she will be moved to help me.
Are you with me?
I am with you.
[MARY] My cousin wrote to me
saying that she
would help me in my time of need.
[SOLDIER] I'm sure you've been
fooled by a forgery, Your Majesty.
What?
I give you loyalty.
I imagine she realizes she cannot govern
without women like me
on her side.
- [ANTOINE] Checkmate.
- [LOUIS] On the contrary.
I will spend the rest of my life
getting back at her
for what she did to us.
Now she promises to make tolerance
the new law of the land
and break the treaty
with the Holy Roman emperor.
[CATHERINE] Allow me.
♪
Feels good to be bad, doesn't it?
♪
They say that you get
the life that you deserve.
But I say fuck that.
Life is about what you are
willing to do to survive.
And I am willing to do anything.
♪
How about you?
♪
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[CARRIAGES RATTLING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[CATHERINE] I had been regent
for more than ten years.
♪
As my son the king
was finally of age,
the royal family embarked
on a grand tour of France
- [LAUGHS]
- Fuck off.
[CATHERINE] to ensure the loyalty
of their subjects
♪
most of whom were illiterate,
superstitious,
and increasingly disillusioned
with the Catholic Church.
Higher.
♪
Push, push, voilà.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[CATHERINE]
Nothing like the grand tour
had ever been attempted.
♪
[ROYAL FANFARE PLAYING]
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[DOG BARKS]
♪
I guess we're here.
Give me my shoes.
Looks like another shithole.
Hope they like jugglers.
♪
It's time to play king, eh?
If only they knew you pissed
the bed until you were 12.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Shut up, Hercule.
I don't understand
why we all have to go.
[CHARLES] You know the answer.
To bond the people to the royal family.
It's presumably so they don't
want to kill us.
Of course, if they do want to kill us,
well, we won't know until it's too late.
His Royal Highness Charles IX,
king of France,
has come to meet his subjects,
the people of France,
along with Prince Alexandre Edouard,
the Duke of Anjou;
Prince Hercule;
and the Princesses Elisabeth and Margot.
How do I look?
What does it matter? They're peasants.
Has it ever occurred to you
they're just like us,
only born in the wrong place?
Don't be stupid, Margot.
They're nothing like us.
Yes, we were born to rule,
and they were born to serve.
Looks like it's showtime.
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SIGHS]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[PERSON] Look, the crown.
♪
Dear subjects, it is my pleasure
to greet you in person.
Thank you for your fealty.
♪
Maybe the children
should return to the carriage.
[CARDINAL GUISE]
Watch the robe. Oh, fuck!
- [GASPS]
- Please!
[GUARD] That's far enough! Stay there!
- Quite close enough.
- [GUARD] Stay back!
Not yet.
[GUARD] Back, I said! Get back!
- [GASPS]
- Your Majesty.
♪
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Never underestimate
the power of presentation.
♪
- Pendulous.
- Massive.
Hello, cousin.
[LOUIS] Ah, heard you had
a bit of trouble on the road.
Are you all right?
I was trampled to the ground
by members of the public.
How do you think I am?
Crowd was passionate, I grant you.
They were fucking animals
is what they were.
All part of God's flock,
I'm sure you'll agree.
[LAUGHTER]
Ah. [CLEARS THROAT]
Sorry we're late.
What did we miss?
[PERSON CLEARS THROAT]
Can I just say, unequivocally,
this grand tour,
taking the king to the people,
this whole policy of tolerance
has now gone too far.
It's a direct challenge
to the order of things
and how they've always been.
It's a direct challenge to the
Catholic Church is what it is.
We don't expect you
to be happy about that.
- Yeah.
- Do you two idiots
have any idea how dangerous this is?
Princes of the blood, divine right,
where do you think that comes from?
The Catholic Church, that's me.
So when the people stop
accepting my guidance,
you two are gonna have
to prove you have something
to actually contribute to society.
Make it on your own, get a job.
Do you think you can do that,
bollock chops?
It is my intention to unite
the people behind the king,
not out of any fear of divine
retribution, but by choice.
By choice? What, are we Greek now?
Peasants are like livestock.
They need to be told what to do.
The Cardinal underestimates
the French people.
[CATHERINE] Montmorency's right.
There has been no religious violence
since we completed our grand tour.
I think we can safely say that
my strategy has been a success.
[LOUIS] Indeed it has.
A golden age might just be upon us.
Might be overstating it a bit. Most
of the country still
shits in the street.
Plumbing issues aside,
we're enjoying
an unprecedented era of peace
peace at home, peace
with the Holy Roman Empire,
- peace with England.
- And here it comes.
To that end, I'd like
to propose a trade deal
with Queen Elizabeth.
Oh, you want France
to ally with its archenemy,
- Protestant England?
- Yeah.
Your Majesty, this is ridiculous.
The people will revolt.
The people will be too busy
getting fat and rich
and building commodes to shit in.
I believe it's worth mentioning
that we attained this peace
by acting with caution
and deliberation.
Yes.
I mean, judging French
prejudice towards the English,
now is not the time
for such an alliance.
Oh, thank God for that.
[CATHERINE] But when France
becomes a secular state,
it is something to consider
in the future.
Secular state.
And there we have it.
That's your ultimate goal, isn't it?
We all have to evolve, Cardinal.
The Catholic Church has been
in business for 1,600 years
not by evolving.
Then it will die.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
What about you?
- Me?
- [CARDINAL GUISE] Yeah, you.
Have you got anything
to say for yourself?
♪
May I respectfully remind the king
that your mother's regency is at an end?
You're entitled to have
your own opinion, Your Majesty.
♪
Of course.
Your Majesty?
♪
Whatever Mother decides,
I'm sure will be best.
[SCOFFS]
So that's all we can expect
from our king,
"Mother knows best," wow.
I will remind you to speak
with respect to your king.
That will be enough for today.
[PERSON CLEARS THROAT]
- [PERSON CLEARS THROAT]
- [PERSON GROANS]
[MAID] Lady Rahima, I-I beg your pardon,
but this is my brother Bernard
I told you about.
- The lace maker?
- [BERNARD] Yes, my lady.
And my cut?
- Five percent?
- Eight.
Very well.
Come and see me later,
and I'll give you an answer.
Reseal them and deliver them
as bidden to your masters.
Yes, my lady.
Right, ladies, you know the drill.
Mouths shut and your ears open.
♪
Anything you hear,
you bring to me first.
Understood?
♪
[CHUCKLES]
[ANJOU] I think it's time
we toast my big brother
- after his historic victory.
- [HISSES]
[CLEARS THROAT]
To the king of all France,
the people's king,
congratulations on a job well done.
No one could have
done it better, I'm sure.
To the king.
[ALL] To the king.
Come on, then.
Let's have it.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- What?
- I'm waiting for the insult.
Why don't you get it over with?
Insult?
Why would I insult you? You're my king.
Just give the orders,
and I'm sure I'll be
- dragged off to the dungeon.
- [LAUGHTER]
Or I could teach you a lesson
myself, like I used to.
Ooh, well, I would check
with Mother first,
just see if that's good for the brand.
- [LAUGHTER]
- I make my own decisions.
Really? That's funny.
That's not what I heard.
I mean, what was it you said
to the Privy Council?
- Whatever Mother says.
- [LAUGHTER]
[CHARLES] Shut up, Hercule.
Mother is teaching me to rule.
I happen to have the
forethought to want to learn,
something that might be difficult
for you to comprehend.
In fact, the rest of us
can only thank God
I was born before you were.
[LAUGHTER]
Is that what you tell yourself?
Well, I've got some news
for you, brother.
And this might sting a little.
But Mother's never giving up her power,
especially not to you.
That's why you're not allowed
to make any decisions.
You think it would be different
if it were someone else?
Hmm, well, now that you mention it,
I guess I would say that some
people are just born to lead.
Like you?
Oh, come on.
I mean, you can't really think
you're up to this.
You don't even have any friends.
And you have to admit,
I do inspire loyalty.
I, for one, would do anything
my prince asked me.
- Stand on my head.
- Dress like a tart.
Or even cut your throat
if I asked them nicely.
That's not funny, Anjou.
I'd be careful if I were you.
I'm obviously joking.
What's the matter with you two?
What, we can't take a joke anymore?
- [LAUGHS]
- Stop it.
What?
- Stop it, Anjou.
- [CHARLES] I'm warning you.
Oh, right, you mean this?
[PEOPLE GASP]
Aren't you bored of black?
Maybe it's time for a new color.
I wear black in mourning
for your father.
The people expect it of me.
[AABIS] Well, if your wardrobe
isn't going to change,
there's no reason why you
can't find yourself a new man.
You're not dead yet, are you?
I don't have time for such things.
The country needs me.
[MARGOT] Almost as much
as you need the country.
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing, just
Well, let's be honest.
You had us traipsing
through every tiny village
between here and Provence
to strengthen the Valois grip on power.
And for better or worse, that's you.
Let's not pretend it was
for the good of the country.
- [BOOK SNAPS SHUT]
- [DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
- [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
- What is it?
A situation you might want to attend to.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[HERCULE] Anjou.
[ANJOU] Want to be a king, do you?
[HERCULE] Charles, stop!
Stop. Stop.
[ANJOU GRUNTS]
Enough!
[YELLS]
[COURT MEMBERS] Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
Everyone out!
[BOTH PANTING]
[DOOR CLATTERS SHUT]
Now, perhaps you can tell me
what the problem is.
The problem is,
your favorite son is a cunt.
Well, don't insult Hercule.
I'm not her favorite.
Christ, did you think I was serious?
I favor none of my children
over another.
Of course. Well, if you don't
teach him a lesson, I will.
[LAUGHS] What lesson
are you gonna teach me?
[CATHERINE] Well?
What was the meaning of this, Anjou?
I'm sure you can see for yourself.
The king is clearly crumbling
under the pressure of his birthright!
Look, if you want people
to take the Valois court
seriously, then why don't you just
give me an official position?
You are a prince.
What more do you want?
I want a seat on the Privy Council.
The Privy Council?
♪
You're serious.
♪
Some people have
the temperament to govern.
♪
But judging by what I just saw,
clearly, you do not.
♪
You see, your sole purpose in life
should be to support your king.
Is that understood?
Is that understood, Anjou?
Yes, fine.
Whatever, I was joking anyway.
♪
[CATHERINE] When I could,
I still found comfort
in the forest.
Some habits die hard, I suppose.
[WIND CHIMES TINKLING]
Go on.
Can I stay?
Off with you.
[RUGGIERI SIGHS]
[LEAVES RUSTLING]
♪
It's been a while since I've seen you.
♪
New friend?
[RUGGIERI] An apprentice.
- [CATHERINE] Mm.
- [RUGGIERI] Mm.
Yes, you have been busy.
So were his subjects inspired
by the sight of their king,
seeing the very pink of his flesh?
Did the royal family
provide a balm
for the peasants' hard lives
with a touch of their soft,
uncalloused hands?
♪
- You mock me.
- Only a little.
Then you agree with those
who criticize my policy.
My only concern is for your welfare,
and therefore, I wish to point
out what should already be
painfully obvious.
You will never
be able to govern by love,
only by fear.
♪
You're wrong.
If the people love their king,
then they will protect him.
♪
Then what are you doing here?
♪
A dream, was it?
The same one?
♪
Show me.
♪
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
[CATHERINE] I find myself
alone in the forest,
a place I know,
but I cannot remember
how I got there.
♪
In a tree, I find a mirror.
♪
It becomes a bird's nest.
Inside there are ten eggs.
But only one bird flies free.
[BIRD CAWING]
[HISSING]
♪
Enough.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
It's just a dream.
Ten eggs for ten children,
and you wonder what it means.
♪
There's always a price.
♪
If the price is my children,
then you already know
that is a price I'm not willing to pay.
♪
It gets easier, I imagine.
You've already buried four.
♪
I was looking for you.
- Oh?
- What are you reading?
Nothing. It's just something I found.
You know, you shouldn't let Anjou
get under your skin like that.
He's an idiot.
I know, and I'm an idiot
for letting him get to me.
[MARGOT] Hmm.
Can I ask you something?
[MARGOT] Yeah, of course.
Do you think Mother
will ever really let me rule,
make decisions of my own?
I mean, she's supposed to now, but
I don't know.
Do you remember Father?
Not really.
Well, a bit.
- He didn't seem very happy.
- [MARGOT] Mm.
Drank a lot.
But do you know why he drank?
You can't wait for anybody to
give you permission, Charles.
You must be your own man.
You don't want to end up like Father.
♪
Thank you.
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[PERSON] Bless you, Sister Edith.
[PERSON] Thank you.
Thank you, Sister Edith.
[PERSON] Bless you, Sister Edith.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Thank you, Sister Edith.
- You're welcome.
Haven't seen you in a while.
I told you I was traveling
with the court.
Yes, the grand tour.
I heard about that,
taking the king to the people.
Though I'm not sure
what good it will do them.
A country united behind the king
will be good for everyone.
What these people need is food,
shelter, honest work.
[MONTMORENCY] Believe me,
I'm doing all I can.
- Thank you.
- I'm grateful.
But do you ever imagine
what you could have done
if you took the regency for yourself
instead of prostrating yourself
before the woman that tried to kill you?
[MONTMORENCY]
We've been over this.
Catherine is the best person to lead.
- [PERSON] Thank you.
- You're welcome.
You consider yourself
a good judge of character?
I picked you, didn't I?
And why did you do that?
Because you made me believe
there's something good in the world.
♪
No.
I made you think there was
something good about you.
♪
Perhaps I was just telling you
what you wanted to hear.
♪
Edith.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪
[CARDINAL GUISE] Secular fucking state.
You're not even listening
to me, are you?
- No.
- [CARDINAL GUISE] I knew it.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
[SNAPS FINGERS]
My darlings, come kiss me.
Hmm.
What brings you to court?
Concern for my children. What else?
Are you injured?
I'm perfectly fine, Mother.
[ANTOINETTE]
Oh, thank God for that.
In my day, that rabble
would have been strung up
just for laying hands on
a member of the ruling class.
Well, your day's over.
Oh, and if the modern world
is one where there is
no respect for order,
I want no part of it.
- I'm sure the feeling's mutual.
- [SIGHS]
Wouldn't it have been much simpler
for you to live out your days
far from the court of Charles IX?
And surrender to our fate? No.
I'm well aware that the court
belongs to Catherine and not her son
and that her policies
will lead to disaster
or misery for the House of Guise,
which effectively is the same thing.
Tell me,
what happens when the people decide
they can talk directly to God?
I'll be out of a job.
Well, that's just the half of it.
For starters, who is to say
what God says back?
Without enforced conformity,
there is only anarchy.
Well, perhaps, given time,
Catherine will start to see sense.
[ANTOINETTE] When it will be too late?
She must be made to see the dangers now,
when it can still be corrected.
And you know exactly how, I suppose.
Well, as a matter of fact, I do.
Hmm.
An unfortunate event
that might bring her attentions
to the dangers at hand.
There is a church not far from here
whose congregation of infidels
worship their Protestant God in peace.
If they were to be made an example of,
something suitably brutal
and apparently random,
there would inevitably be reprisals,
a series of tit-for-tat killings
which would all soon escalate
into an existential struggle
between the religions
in which Catherine
and her marionette of a son
would have no choice
but to side with us,
the Catholic Church.
[SCOFFS] France is a tinderbox.
All we have to do is touch a match.
You want us to start a war?
War is inevitable.
Might as well get it over with
while we still have the advantage.
♪
[CARDINAL GUISE] I think
♪
I think she has a point.
♪
I want no part of it.
Oh, sit down, Francois.
It's just a suggestion.
I've been down this road
with you two before.
Do you remember your granddaughter,
our niece Mary?
- Oh.
- This will end the same way.
I want no part of it.
♪
[CARDINAL GUISE] So
[ANTOINETTE CLEARS THROAT]
you got any other bright ideas?
Oh, don't worry.
He'll come round when he
realizes the other option
is to cease to exist.
♪
[LOUIS] Feel that, Antoine?
The wind is blowing our way.
- [ANTOINE] Yes, exciting.
- [LOUIS] Mm.
[ANTOINE] But, uh,
the Cardinal does make
a strong point, doesn't he?
I'm not sure I want
to make it on my own.
Not sure I could, actually.
Maybe if I were challenged
to a game of pétanque,
I'd make a fair fist of it.
But aside from that, I'd be fucked.
See, I'm not clever like you, Louis.
Fair point, Antoine.
But let me assure you,
no matter how France evolves,
the peasants will always
need nobles to look up to.
It's human nature.
And since our father had the foresight
to adopt the new religion,
we are the peasants' natural allies.
♪
You have to hand it to Father,
gambling with our status like that.
High risk, high reward.
Now we must deliver on their loyalty
by opening back-channel
negotiations with England.
Back-channel across the Channel.
- Excellent pun, brother.
- [LAUGHS]
But may I remind you, Catherine
said no trade with England.
Uh, Catherine said no trade
with England yet.
All we need is an introduction
at Elizabeth's court,
which means you'll have
to get your wife here.
- What?
- Mm.
For fuck's sake.
You know I'm fucking terrified of her.
Afraid so. And your son.
Oh, God, no.
- He's awful.
- Mm.
In fact, I think he might actually be
- a moron, medically.
- Mm.
Well it's years since you've seen him,
so unless you want
to make it on your own
as a professional pétanque player,
you'll get them here.
♪
Your Highness.
My lady.
[WINGS FLAPPING]
I interrupted your reading.
[FRANCOIS] Yeah, you did.
That's why I come up here,
for the quiet, just me and the servants.
Now you.
So how did you get on
on your grand tour?
Hope you gave them a good show.
You mean being paraded around
in a pretty dress
and directed to smile at peasants?
It was all a bit nauseating,
to be honest.
I thought girls liked pretty dresses.
Not all girls.
What I don't like is feeling like
some piece in my mother's game.
Oh, well, I'd like to tell you
they grow out of that.
But they don't.
♪
- Take it.
- [MARGOT] I couldn't.
It's yours.
I've finished with it.
♪
You wished to see me, Your Majesty.
Yes.
Perhaps you're concerned
with the Bourbons?
I hear Antoine has invited
his wife to court.
Yes, first Antoinette Guise
and now Jeanne D'Albret.
[MONTMORENCY CHUCKLES]
Her presence must mean
he's up to something.
He spent most of his adult life
avoiding being in the same room as her.
Maybe he's simply rediscovered
his matrimonial duty.
Unlikely.
I was trying to be humorous.
Tell me what I can do for you.
I fear the king misunderstands
my intentions.
Perhaps if you were to talk to him,
to give him a clearer idea
of what I'm trying to do for France
and for him.
He looks up to you.
Because he misses his father,
as you miss your husband,
I imagine.
♪
I'll do as you ask.
♪
I hear there was some trouble
between you and your brother.
[CHARLES] My brother
is always happy to let me know
what people say about me
when I'm not in the room.
People say many things,
most of which they don't
remember in the morning.
These are delicate times.
Religious tolerance
will one day lead
to a more stable society.
But we must give it time.
Time.
Of course, it's always time.
But how am I to know if my mother
will ever make way for me?
Before he died,
your father asked me to care
for you as I would my own son.
I gave him my word.
♪
I believe your mother is motivated
by what is best for you.
And if I have ever cause to doubt it,
I will tell you.
And when it's time for you to govern
with no advice or opposition
from your mother,
I will support you.
You have my word.
♪
I trust you.
I believe you trust my mother.
♪
But you would not be the first
to underestimate her ambition.
♪
[ANTOINE] Drink?
I don't drink.
[ANTOINE] No, no, of course not.
Filthy habit.
I see you've fallen far without
my supervision, Antoine.
Oh, depends where you
start from, doesn't it?
[LOUIS] So, uh, Henri, uh,
what do you make
of the big palace, eh?
I raised our son not to waste his words.
Mission accomplished.
Keep them wanting more.
Good idea.
Well, perhaps it's time you told me
why you asked me here, Antoine.
Yes, of course.
Um, Henri, do you want to run along
so Mummy and Daddy
can have a little talk?
Oh, no, it's all right.
You can speak freely in front of him.
He has no interests
aside from scripture.
No wonder he has so many friends.
Well, it-it's-it's quite simple, really.
Um, we just need to ask you
the smallest of favors.
Do you still correspond
with Lord Throckmorton
in the English court?
Yes. Well, he's an ardent
believer in the new religion.
I don't think I'd be going too far
as to say our correspondence
on the matters of faith
sustains us both.
So you fancy him.
- What?
- Uh, n-nothing. Focus, Antoine.
Wonderful.
All we need you to do is,
in your next letter,
ask your man if his queen
would be interested
in exploring a possible trading
partnership with France.
You know, we send them
some salt from Normandy.
They provide some woven textiles,
you know, something small-scale
to get things going.
Then we see what's possible.
[ANTOINE] That's all it is,
nothing more.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
No, I couldn't possibly.
- What?
- Uh, why not?
Well, perhaps you've forgotten, Antoine,
but France is a Catholic kingdom.
And it seeks to destroy my faith
and consume Navarre, of where I'm queen.
Why on Earth would I want
to promote its interests?
France will soon be a secular country
with many times more wealth
than tiny Navarre.
And your husband and son
may have more influence
in that newly secular country
than you could possibly imagine, if
we handle things right.
So you propose a treaty
with Queen Elizabeth
as a means to promote the new religion?
Amongst other things, yes.
♪
Very well.
Then prove it.
Have your king make a gesture
towards the Protestants.
I don't mean a speech
to a crowd of peasants
but an unmistakable gesture of respect
for the new religion.
Like what?
Oh, there's a church not far from here
with an effective preacher,
a young woman.
If the king were to visit her,
I would feel comfortable
to do as you ask.
How are we supposed
to get him to do that?
Now, I don't think that's my problem.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Matisse.
I'm late. I'm sorry.
You've been at that church
again, haven't you?
♪
You have a job, you know.
- I can find someone else.
- But you won't.
♪
Come with me, just once.
If you don't like it,
I'll never go again.
I promise.
♪
I'll think about it.
♪
[ANTOINE] Your Majesty,
this is a happy coincidence.
Is it?
Thought you hated riding.
So what diversion do my favorite cousins
have for me today?
Favorite cousins,
what a lovely thing to say.
[LOUIS] We could not help
but notice your unhappiness
at the Privy Council meeting.
[CHARLES] I must work
on my gambling face.
[ANTOINE] Your mother
means well, of course.
But she does have so much on her plate.
Hard to see the wood for the trees.
- What is it you want?
- [LOUIS] To help.
Word has spread about
how the people received you
on the grand tour.
They do adore you.
- [LOUIS] Yeah, they do.
- [ANTOINE] Mm.
They're afraid of your mother,
and of course,
that has its place, but
a people's love for their king
is a different matter.
It was quite a moment
for me, to be honest.
For the first time,
I felt like I might actually
be able to lead the people.
Well, of course.
And where would you
take them, Your Majesty?
How would you lead France?
When this period of tutorial
under my mother is over
and her policy of tolerance
has created a stable society,
I will govern a country that forges
many international treaties.
I believe this is the way of the future.
Interconnectedness, a web of alliances,
free trade, free movement of people.
No one will go to war because everyone
will suffer in war equally.
Hmm, I knew it, Antoine.
You truly are a visionary, Your Majesty.
[LOUIS] A seer.
And is it not time to begin?
All it requires is a gesture,
something that shows the people
you are not afraid of the new religion.
Something that shows Queen Elizabeth
you're not afraid.
Something that only the king can do.
What is it you have in mind?
Perhaps the king could attend
a Protestant service with us.
From what I understand,
there is one not far.
The preacher is popular, a woman.
A woman. Always plays well.
[LOUIS] Mm, word will spread.
The English will see you're serious
about a post-religious France,
ushering in a time
for peace and prosperity,
just as you said.
It's how history will remember you.
[LOUIS] Mm.
- Really?
- [LOUIS] Yeah.
[ANTOINE] Absolutely.
Then I will consider the matter.
♪
[ANTOINE] I was actually
quite moved by that.
He's a wanker, Antoine.
Really?
Yeah, a huge wanker.
You must be Thomas.
Yes, my lady.
Do you have what I asked for?
♪
Is this what you're after?
I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't
for my father being ill.
Your sense of duty moves me.
♪
He only wrote to help me
learn how to read.
But he writes so beautifully,
I couldn't bring myself
to get rid of them.
Until now.
[COINS JINGLE]
♪
You won't let anything bad
happen to him, will you?
Of course not.
I'm his mother.
♪
[DOOR SLAMS]
Hello, son.
Thought we might have a little talk.
I told you, Mother,
if you want to start a war,
do it yourself.
Oh, I don't think it will come to that.
You may recognize the writing.
Addressed to a young man named Thomas,
a billman in the army.
Sweet boy,
rather attractive.
In fact, I see the appeal.
Where did you get it?
He sold it to me.
Along with others, quite a few others.
I had no idea that you wrote so well.
It's so heartfelt and descriptive.
You must have really loved him
to be stupid enough
to put all that down on paper.
I mean, a quick fuck
on the field of battle
when faced with imminent death,
anyone can understand that.
But a man's profession of love
for another man,
your soldiers would never
take orders again.
When your back is turned,
they may do worse.
But I don't want you to worry.
I will ensure your men
never know of them.
♪
At a price?
♪
Naturally.
Do I need to say it?
♪
And I want you to know
that I don't judge your preferences.
In fact, I respect them, even envy them.
This whole reproduction thing, it
makes such a mess, don't you find?
And anyway, you are my son,
however God made you,
and you will make me proud.
♪
This I know.
♪
Is there anything else, Your Majesty?
No, you can go.
What are you looking at?
Shh.
[MONTMORENCY] I spoke to the king.
He knows you have
his best interest at heart.
For years, I thought
I was unable to conceive.
Turns out, that was the easy part.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[MONTMORENCY] I suppose it's possible
we make too much of parenting.
When all is said and done,
we all raise ourselves, don't we?
You certainly did.
What is it
with you and Edith?
When I found her, I was a drunk.
She prevented me from killing a man
that tried to sell her to me.
♪
The man was her father.
Now?
Now she's the closest to family I have.
♪
I failed to protect my children.
I failed to protect your husband.
I do not intend to fail again.
♪
If we're finished here,
I will leave you.
Or you could stay.
♪
So we might be a comfort to one another.
♪
See, in that moment,
I thought I could be truly happy.
♪
Checkmate.
♪
You beat me.
He beat me.
Apparently, your son has
inherited your luck, Antoine.
[HENRI] I don't believe in luck.
What do you believe in, then?
Preparation, calculation,
precision attack.
How intriguing.
Do you fancy a drink?
Can I?
Yeah.
Sure there's something we
can give you, isn't there, Louis?
Red or white?
I'm gonna get you pissed.
- [LOUIS] Yeah.
- Uh
The, uh, king is here.
[LOUIS] Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]
I've thought about your invitation
and have decided to join my
Protestant subjects in prayer tonight.
Wonderful news, Your Majesty.
History will remember you.
Perhaps, but for now, my mother
will know nothing about it.
Of course. Tancrede, prepare our horses.
[EDITH] "And when Jesus
saw the crowds,
"he went up on the mountainside
"and sat with them.
"His disciples came to him.
"He said, 'Blessed
are the poor in spirit,
"'for theirs
is the kingdom of heaven.
"'Blessed are those who mourn.
They will be comforted.
"'Blessed are the meek,
"'for they will inherit
the Earth.
"'Blessed are those who hunger
and thirst for righteousness.
"'They will be freed.
- Blessed are the merc '"
- [HORSES WHINNYING]
♪
[HORSES NEIGHING]
♪
Burn it down.
You're fucking kidding me.
♪
[EDITH]
"'Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.'"
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
"'Blessed are the pure in heart,
"'for they will see God.
"'Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called
children of God.'"
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
♪
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
[WINDOW SQUEAKS SHUT]
What is it?
It'll cost you.
["(I CAN'T GET NO)
SATISFACTION" PLAYING]
[KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR CLICKS OPEN]
♪
It's urgent.
What is it?
The king, Your Majesty.
♪
[CAT POWER]
When I'm driving in my car ♪
And a man come On the radio ♪
Ready my horse.
[CAT POWER] He's telling me
More and more ♪
About some useless
Information ♪
Trying to mess My imagination ♪
♪
[RUGGIERI] Previously
on The Serpent Queen
[CATHERINE]
I used to be just like you,
with nobody in the world
to care about me.
[RUGGIERI] If you learn to use your
powers, you will achieve greatness.
- How would you know?
- I'm a fortune-teller.
My dear niece, your marriage
has been arranged,
second son of the king of France.
[CATHERINE] Then something
terrible happened. I fell in love.
[DIANE] He's the best man I know.
[CATHERINE] And do you know
what I learnt that day?
Never to trust a single soul.
[FRANCIS]
I'm afraid I have bad news.
Your uncle, the pope
Medici pig.
He's dead.
[DIANE] Don't you understand?
We will both be out
unless you give Henri a son.
[YOUNG CATHERINE]
I must get pregnant.
I'll pay what's required.
With Ruggieri, there's always a price.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Find the man who killed my son!
[MONTMORENCY] Was it you
or your dressmaker?
Someone's got to die.
- [ SEBASTIO] Please!
- [SCREAMS]
Your new dauphine is with child.
When you find life
conspiring against you,
you must find a way
to change it to your favor.
- [EXPLOSION]
- [SCREAMING]
I tolerated the nights
you spent together.
I am his wife!
I'm where I want to be.
You joust in the ceremonies today.
It would please me to see you
as you were when we first met.
- [ARMOR CLATTERS]
- [AUDIENCE GASPS]
Madame de Poitiers, the king is dead.
This is a family matter. Your
presence is no longer required.
My first order of business
A decree that makes Protestantism
illegal on French soil.
Fuck off.
Banishment.
[LOUIS] You fucking bitch!
I will wind her up
and watch that silly girl burn
this country to the ground.
Do you have a plan?
Separate the king from Mary's influence.
I must ask you to reconsider
before we reach our destination.
Well, what happens
at our destination, Mother?
- [ARROW WHISTLES]
- [GRUNTS]
- An attack on the king!
- [COUGHS]
[ALL YELLING]
What is the fate of a young boy
when the fate of a nation
hangs in the balance?
It is everything.
Fuck! You're fucking mental.
I'm not.
I'm just better at this than you are.
[MONTMORENCY]
Tell me where to find Antoine.
[FRANCOIS OF GUISE]
Montmorency will be regent.
I cannot just be forced
to sign away the regency
to whomever has the bigger gun.
[MONTMORENCY]
I don't see why not.
- [GUNSHOT]
- [GROANS]
[MONTMORENCY] The boy, I had him
sign over the regency
to someone capable
of sacrificing their friends
and plotting with their
enemies to rule France.
Why does it have to hurt so much?
I have something here
that will take your pain away.
Give it to me, please.
[CATHERINE] And now you must rest.
[FRANCIS] And now I will leave
you to live with your choices.
[PANTING]
[COURT MESSENGER]
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Louis of Bourbon is pardoned
for the crime of treason
by order of the new regent,
Her Majesty, Queen Catherine.
[MARY] I will write
Queen Elizabeth in England.
And when she hears
that some commoner
has stolen the throne of France,
she will be moved to help me.
Are you with me?
I am with you.
[MARY] My cousin wrote to me
saying that she
would help me in my time of need.
[SOLDIER] I'm sure you've been
fooled by a forgery, Your Majesty.
What?
I give you loyalty.
I imagine she realizes she cannot govern
without women like me
on her side.
- [ANTOINE] Checkmate.
- [LOUIS] On the contrary.
I will spend the rest of my life
getting back at her
for what she did to us.
Now she promises to make tolerance
the new law of the land
and break the treaty
with the Holy Roman emperor.
[CATHERINE] Allow me.
♪
Feels good to be bad, doesn't it?
♪
They say that you get
the life that you deserve.
But I say fuck that.
Life is about what you are
willing to do to survive.
And I am willing to do anything.
♪
How about you?
♪
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[CARRIAGES RATTLING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[CATHERINE] I had been regent
for more than ten years.
♪
As my son the king
was finally of age,
the royal family embarked
on a grand tour of France
- [LAUGHS]
- Fuck off.
[CATHERINE] to ensure the loyalty
of their subjects
♪
most of whom were illiterate,
superstitious,
and increasingly disillusioned
with the Catholic Church.
Higher.
♪
Push, push, voilà.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[CATHERINE]
Nothing like the grand tour
had ever been attempted.
♪
[ROYAL FANFARE PLAYING]
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[DOG BARKS]
♪
I guess we're here.
Give me my shoes.
Looks like another shithole.
Hope they like jugglers.
♪
It's time to play king, eh?
If only they knew you pissed
the bed until you were 12.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Shut up, Hercule.
I don't understand
why we all have to go.
[CHARLES] You know the answer.
To bond the people to the royal family.
It's presumably so they don't
want to kill us.
Of course, if they do want to kill us,
well, we won't know until it's too late.
His Royal Highness Charles IX,
king of France,
has come to meet his subjects,
the people of France,
along with Prince Alexandre Edouard,
the Duke of Anjou;
Prince Hercule;
and the Princesses Elisabeth and Margot.
How do I look?
What does it matter? They're peasants.
Has it ever occurred to you
they're just like us,
only born in the wrong place?
Don't be stupid, Margot.
They're nothing like us.
Yes, we were born to rule,
and they were born to serve.
Looks like it's showtime.
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SIGHS]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[PERSON] Look, the crown.
♪
Dear subjects, it is my pleasure
to greet you in person.
Thank you for your fealty.
♪
Maybe the children
should return to the carriage.
[CARDINAL GUISE]
Watch the robe. Oh, fuck!
- [GASPS]
- Please!
[GUARD] That's far enough! Stay there!
- Quite close enough.
- [GUARD] Stay back!
Not yet.
[GUARD] Back, I said! Get back!
- [GASPS]
- Your Majesty.
♪
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Never underestimate
the power of presentation.
♪
- Pendulous.
- Massive.
Hello, cousin.
[LOUIS] Ah, heard you had
a bit of trouble on the road.
Are you all right?
I was trampled to the ground
by members of the public.
How do you think I am?
Crowd was passionate, I grant you.
They were fucking animals
is what they were.
All part of God's flock,
I'm sure you'll agree.
[LAUGHTER]
Ah. [CLEARS THROAT]
Sorry we're late.
What did we miss?
[PERSON CLEARS THROAT]
Can I just say, unequivocally,
this grand tour,
taking the king to the people,
this whole policy of tolerance
has now gone too far.
It's a direct challenge
to the order of things
and how they've always been.
It's a direct challenge to the
Catholic Church is what it is.
We don't expect you
to be happy about that.
- Yeah.
- Do you two idiots
have any idea how dangerous this is?
Princes of the blood, divine right,
where do you think that comes from?
The Catholic Church, that's me.
So when the people stop
accepting my guidance,
you two are gonna have
to prove you have something
to actually contribute to society.
Make it on your own, get a job.
Do you think you can do that,
bollock chops?
It is my intention to unite
the people behind the king,
not out of any fear of divine
retribution, but by choice.
By choice? What, are we Greek now?
Peasants are like livestock.
They need to be told what to do.
The Cardinal underestimates
the French people.
[CATHERINE] Montmorency's right.
There has been no religious violence
since we completed our grand tour.
I think we can safely say that
my strategy has been a success.
[LOUIS] Indeed it has.
A golden age might just be upon us.
Might be overstating it a bit. Most
of the country still
shits in the street.
Plumbing issues aside,
we're enjoying
an unprecedented era of peace
peace at home, peace
with the Holy Roman Empire,
- peace with England.
- And here it comes.
To that end, I'd like
to propose a trade deal
with Queen Elizabeth.
Oh, you want France
to ally with its archenemy,
- Protestant England?
- Yeah.
Your Majesty, this is ridiculous.
The people will revolt.
The people will be too busy
getting fat and rich
and building commodes to shit in.
I believe it's worth mentioning
that we attained this peace
by acting with caution
and deliberation.
Yes.
I mean, judging French
prejudice towards the English,
now is not the time
for such an alliance.
Oh, thank God for that.
[CATHERINE] But when France
becomes a secular state,
it is something to consider
in the future.
Secular state.
And there we have it.
That's your ultimate goal, isn't it?
We all have to evolve, Cardinal.
The Catholic Church has been
in business for 1,600 years
not by evolving.
Then it will die.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
What about you?
- Me?
- [CARDINAL GUISE] Yeah, you.
Have you got anything
to say for yourself?
♪
May I respectfully remind the king
that your mother's regency is at an end?
You're entitled to have
your own opinion, Your Majesty.
♪
Of course.
Your Majesty?
♪
Whatever Mother decides,
I'm sure will be best.
[SCOFFS]
So that's all we can expect
from our king,
"Mother knows best," wow.
I will remind you to speak
with respect to your king.
That will be enough for today.
[PERSON CLEARS THROAT]
- [PERSON CLEARS THROAT]
- [PERSON GROANS]
[MAID] Lady Rahima, I-I beg your pardon,
but this is my brother Bernard
I told you about.
- The lace maker?
- [BERNARD] Yes, my lady.
And my cut?
- Five percent?
- Eight.
Very well.
Come and see me later,
and I'll give you an answer.
Reseal them and deliver them
as bidden to your masters.
Yes, my lady.
Right, ladies, you know the drill.
Mouths shut and your ears open.
♪
Anything you hear,
you bring to me first.
Understood?
♪
[CHUCKLES]
[ANJOU] I think it's time
we toast my big brother
- after his historic victory.
- [HISSES]
[CLEARS THROAT]
To the king of all France,
the people's king,
congratulations on a job well done.
No one could have
done it better, I'm sure.
To the king.
[ALL] To the king.
Come on, then.
Let's have it.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- What?
- I'm waiting for the insult.
Why don't you get it over with?
Insult?
Why would I insult you? You're my king.
Just give the orders,
and I'm sure I'll be
- dragged off to the dungeon.
- [LAUGHTER]
Or I could teach you a lesson
myself, like I used to.
Ooh, well, I would check
with Mother first,
just see if that's good for the brand.
- [LAUGHTER]
- I make my own decisions.
Really? That's funny.
That's not what I heard.
I mean, what was it you said
to the Privy Council?
- Whatever Mother says.
- [LAUGHTER]
[CHARLES] Shut up, Hercule.
Mother is teaching me to rule.
I happen to have the
forethought to want to learn,
something that might be difficult
for you to comprehend.
In fact, the rest of us
can only thank God
I was born before you were.
[LAUGHTER]
Is that what you tell yourself?
Well, I've got some news
for you, brother.
And this might sting a little.
But Mother's never giving up her power,
especially not to you.
That's why you're not allowed
to make any decisions.
You think it would be different
if it were someone else?
Hmm, well, now that you mention it,
I guess I would say that some
people are just born to lead.
Like you?
Oh, come on.
I mean, you can't really think
you're up to this.
You don't even have any friends.
And you have to admit,
I do inspire loyalty.
I, for one, would do anything
my prince asked me.
- Stand on my head.
- Dress like a tart.
Or even cut your throat
if I asked them nicely.
That's not funny, Anjou.
I'd be careful if I were you.
I'm obviously joking.
What's the matter with you two?
What, we can't take a joke anymore?
- [LAUGHS]
- Stop it.
What?
- Stop it, Anjou.
- [CHARLES] I'm warning you.
Oh, right, you mean this?
[PEOPLE GASP]
Aren't you bored of black?
Maybe it's time for a new color.
I wear black in mourning
for your father.
The people expect it of me.
[AABIS] Well, if your wardrobe
isn't going to change,
there's no reason why you
can't find yourself a new man.
You're not dead yet, are you?
I don't have time for such things.
The country needs me.
[MARGOT] Almost as much
as you need the country.
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing, just
Well, let's be honest.
You had us traipsing
through every tiny village
between here and Provence
to strengthen the Valois grip on power.
And for better or worse, that's you.
Let's not pretend it was
for the good of the country.
- [BOOK SNAPS SHUT]
- [DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
- [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
- What is it?
A situation you might want to attend to.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[HERCULE] Anjou.
[ANJOU] Want to be a king, do you?
[HERCULE] Charles, stop!
Stop. Stop.
[ANJOU GRUNTS]
Enough!
[YELLS]
[COURT MEMBERS] Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
Everyone out!
[BOTH PANTING]
[DOOR CLATTERS SHUT]
Now, perhaps you can tell me
what the problem is.
The problem is,
your favorite son is a cunt.
Well, don't insult Hercule.
I'm not her favorite.
Christ, did you think I was serious?
I favor none of my children
over another.
Of course. Well, if you don't
teach him a lesson, I will.
[LAUGHS] What lesson
are you gonna teach me?
[CATHERINE] Well?
What was the meaning of this, Anjou?
I'm sure you can see for yourself.
The king is clearly crumbling
under the pressure of his birthright!
Look, if you want people
to take the Valois court
seriously, then why don't you just
give me an official position?
You are a prince.
What more do you want?
I want a seat on the Privy Council.
The Privy Council?
♪
You're serious.
♪
Some people have
the temperament to govern.
♪
But judging by what I just saw,
clearly, you do not.
♪
You see, your sole purpose in life
should be to support your king.
Is that understood?
Is that understood, Anjou?
Yes, fine.
Whatever, I was joking anyway.
♪
[CATHERINE] When I could,
I still found comfort
in the forest.
Some habits die hard, I suppose.
[WIND CHIMES TINKLING]
Go on.
Can I stay?
Off with you.
[RUGGIERI SIGHS]
[LEAVES RUSTLING]
♪
It's been a while since I've seen you.
♪
New friend?
[RUGGIERI] An apprentice.
- [CATHERINE] Mm.
- [RUGGIERI] Mm.
Yes, you have been busy.
So were his subjects inspired
by the sight of their king,
seeing the very pink of his flesh?
Did the royal family
provide a balm
for the peasants' hard lives
with a touch of their soft,
uncalloused hands?
♪
- You mock me.
- Only a little.
Then you agree with those
who criticize my policy.
My only concern is for your welfare,
and therefore, I wish to point
out what should already be
painfully obvious.
You will never
be able to govern by love,
only by fear.
♪
You're wrong.
If the people love their king,
then they will protect him.
♪
Then what are you doing here?
♪
A dream, was it?
The same one?
♪
Show me.
♪
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
[CATHERINE] I find myself
alone in the forest,
a place I know,
but I cannot remember
how I got there.
♪
In a tree, I find a mirror.
♪
It becomes a bird's nest.
Inside there are ten eggs.
But only one bird flies free.
[BIRD CAWING]
[HISSING]
♪
Enough.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
It's just a dream.
Ten eggs for ten children,
and you wonder what it means.
♪
There's always a price.
♪
If the price is my children,
then you already know
that is a price I'm not willing to pay.
♪
It gets easier, I imagine.
You've already buried four.
♪
I was looking for you.
- Oh?
- What are you reading?
Nothing. It's just something I found.
You know, you shouldn't let Anjou
get under your skin like that.
He's an idiot.
I know, and I'm an idiot
for letting him get to me.
[MARGOT] Hmm.
Can I ask you something?
[MARGOT] Yeah, of course.
Do you think Mother
will ever really let me rule,
make decisions of my own?
I mean, she's supposed to now, but
I don't know.
Do you remember Father?
Not really.
Well, a bit.
- He didn't seem very happy.
- [MARGOT] Mm.
Drank a lot.
But do you know why he drank?
You can't wait for anybody to
give you permission, Charles.
You must be your own man.
You don't want to end up like Father.
♪
Thank you.
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[PERSON] Bless you, Sister Edith.
[PERSON] Thank you.
Thank you, Sister Edith.
[PERSON] Bless you, Sister Edith.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Thank you, Sister Edith.
- You're welcome.
Haven't seen you in a while.
I told you I was traveling
with the court.
Yes, the grand tour.
I heard about that,
taking the king to the people.
Though I'm not sure
what good it will do them.
A country united behind the king
will be good for everyone.
What these people need is food,
shelter, honest work.
[MONTMORENCY] Believe me,
I'm doing all I can.
- Thank you.
- I'm grateful.
But do you ever imagine
what you could have done
if you took the regency for yourself
instead of prostrating yourself
before the woman that tried to kill you?
[MONTMORENCY]
We've been over this.
Catherine is the best person to lead.
- [PERSON] Thank you.
- You're welcome.
You consider yourself
a good judge of character?
I picked you, didn't I?
And why did you do that?
Because you made me believe
there's something good in the world.
♪
No.
I made you think there was
something good about you.
♪
Perhaps I was just telling you
what you wanted to hear.
♪
Edith.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪
[CARDINAL GUISE] Secular fucking state.
You're not even listening
to me, are you?
- No.
- [CARDINAL GUISE] I knew it.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
[SNAPS FINGERS]
My darlings, come kiss me.
Hmm.
What brings you to court?
Concern for my children. What else?
Are you injured?
I'm perfectly fine, Mother.
[ANTOINETTE]
Oh, thank God for that.
In my day, that rabble
would have been strung up
just for laying hands on
a member of the ruling class.
Well, your day's over.
Oh, and if the modern world
is one where there is
no respect for order,
I want no part of it.
- I'm sure the feeling's mutual.
- [SIGHS]
Wouldn't it have been much simpler
for you to live out your days
far from the court of Charles IX?
And surrender to our fate? No.
I'm well aware that the court
belongs to Catherine and not her son
and that her policies
will lead to disaster
or misery for the House of Guise,
which effectively is the same thing.
Tell me,
what happens when the people decide
they can talk directly to God?
I'll be out of a job.
Well, that's just the half of it.
For starters, who is to say
what God says back?
Without enforced conformity,
there is only anarchy.
Well, perhaps, given time,
Catherine will start to see sense.
[ANTOINETTE] When it will be too late?
She must be made to see the dangers now,
when it can still be corrected.
And you know exactly how, I suppose.
Well, as a matter of fact, I do.
Hmm.
An unfortunate event
that might bring her attentions
to the dangers at hand.
There is a church not far from here
whose congregation of infidels
worship their Protestant God in peace.
If they were to be made an example of,
something suitably brutal
and apparently random,
there would inevitably be reprisals,
a series of tit-for-tat killings
which would all soon escalate
into an existential struggle
between the religions
in which Catherine
and her marionette of a son
would have no choice
but to side with us,
the Catholic Church.
[SCOFFS] France is a tinderbox.
All we have to do is touch a match.
You want us to start a war?
War is inevitable.
Might as well get it over with
while we still have the advantage.
♪
[CARDINAL GUISE] I think
♪
I think she has a point.
♪
I want no part of it.
Oh, sit down, Francois.
It's just a suggestion.
I've been down this road
with you two before.
Do you remember your granddaughter,
our niece Mary?
- Oh.
- This will end the same way.
I want no part of it.
♪
[CARDINAL GUISE] So
[ANTOINETTE CLEARS THROAT]
you got any other bright ideas?
Oh, don't worry.
He'll come round when he
realizes the other option
is to cease to exist.
♪
[LOUIS] Feel that, Antoine?
The wind is blowing our way.
- [ANTOINE] Yes, exciting.
- [LOUIS] Mm.
[ANTOINE] But, uh,
the Cardinal does make
a strong point, doesn't he?
I'm not sure I want
to make it on my own.
Not sure I could, actually.
Maybe if I were challenged
to a game of pétanque,
I'd make a fair fist of it.
But aside from that, I'd be fucked.
See, I'm not clever like you, Louis.
Fair point, Antoine.
But let me assure you,
no matter how France evolves,
the peasants will always
need nobles to look up to.
It's human nature.
And since our father had the foresight
to adopt the new religion,
we are the peasants' natural allies.
♪
You have to hand it to Father,
gambling with our status like that.
High risk, high reward.
Now we must deliver on their loyalty
by opening back-channel
negotiations with England.
Back-channel across the Channel.
- Excellent pun, brother.
- [LAUGHS]
But may I remind you, Catherine
said no trade with England.
Uh, Catherine said no trade
with England yet.
All we need is an introduction
at Elizabeth's court,
which means you'll have
to get your wife here.
- What?
- Mm.
For fuck's sake.
You know I'm fucking terrified of her.
Afraid so. And your son.
Oh, God, no.
- He's awful.
- Mm.
In fact, I think he might actually be
- a moron, medically.
- Mm.
Well it's years since you've seen him,
so unless you want
to make it on your own
as a professional pétanque player,
you'll get them here.
♪
Your Highness.
My lady.
[WINGS FLAPPING]
I interrupted your reading.
[FRANCOIS] Yeah, you did.
That's why I come up here,
for the quiet, just me and the servants.
Now you.
So how did you get on
on your grand tour?
Hope you gave them a good show.
You mean being paraded around
in a pretty dress
and directed to smile at peasants?
It was all a bit nauseating,
to be honest.
I thought girls liked pretty dresses.
Not all girls.
What I don't like is feeling like
some piece in my mother's game.
Oh, well, I'd like to tell you
they grow out of that.
But they don't.
♪
- Take it.
- [MARGOT] I couldn't.
It's yours.
I've finished with it.
♪
You wished to see me, Your Majesty.
Yes.
Perhaps you're concerned
with the Bourbons?
I hear Antoine has invited
his wife to court.
Yes, first Antoinette Guise
and now Jeanne D'Albret.
[MONTMORENCY CHUCKLES]
Her presence must mean
he's up to something.
He spent most of his adult life
avoiding being in the same room as her.
Maybe he's simply rediscovered
his matrimonial duty.
Unlikely.
I was trying to be humorous.
Tell me what I can do for you.
I fear the king misunderstands
my intentions.
Perhaps if you were to talk to him,
to give him a clearer idea
of what I'm trying to do for France
and for him.
He looks up to you.
Because he misses his father,
as you miss your husband,
I imagine.
♪
I'll do as you ask.
♪
I hear there was some trouble
between you and your brother.
[CHARLES] My brother
is always happy to let me know
what people say about me
when I'm not in the room.
People say many things,
most of which they don't
remember in the morning.
These are delicate times.
Religious tolerance
will one day lead
to a more stable society.
But we must give it time.
Time.
Of course, it's always time.
But how am I to know if my mother
will ever make way for me?
Before he died,
your father asked me to care
for you as I would my own son.
I gave him my word.
♪
I believe your mother is motivated
by what is best for you.
And if I have ever cause to doubt it,
I will tell you.
And when it's time for you to govern
with no advice or opposition
from your mother,
I will support you.
You have my word.
♪
I trust you.
I believe you trust my mother.
♪
But you would not be the first
to underestimate her ambition.
♪
[ANTOINE] Drink?
I don't drink.
[ANTOINE] No, no, of course not.
Filthy habit.
I see you've fallen far without
my supervision, Antoine.
Oh, depends where you
start from, doesn't it?
[LOUIS] So, uh, Henri, uh,
what do you make
of the big palace, eh?
I raised our son not to waste his words.
Mission accomplished.
Keep them wanting more.
Good idea.
Well, perhaps it's time you told me
why you asked me here, Antoine.
Yes, of course.
Um, Henri, do you want to run along
so Mummy and Daddy
can have a little talk?
Oh, no, it's all right.
You can speak freely in front of him.
He has no interests
aside from scripture.
No wonder he has so many friends.
Well, it-it's-it's quite simple, really.
Um, we just need to ask you
the smallest of favors.
Do you still correspond
with Lord Throckmorton
in the English court?
Yes. Well, he's an ardent
believer in the new religion.
I don't think I'd be going too far
as to say our correspondence
on the matters of faith
sustains us both.
So you fancy him.
- What?
- Uh, n-nothing. Focus, Antoine.
Wonderful.
All we need you to do is,
in your next letter,
ask your man if his queen
would be interested
in exploring a possible trading
partnership with France.
You know, we send them
some salt from Normandy.
They provide some woven textiles,
you know, something small-scale
to get things going.
Then we see what's possible.
[ANTOINE] That's all it is,
nothing more.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
No, I couldn't possibly.
- What?
- Uh, why not?
Well, perhaps you've forgotten, Antoine,
but France is a Catholic kingdom.
And it seeks to destroy my faith
and consume Navarre, of where I'm queen.
Why on Earth would I want
to promote its interests?
France will soon be a secular country
with many times more wealth
than tiny Navarre.
And your husband and son
may have more influence
in that newly secular country
than you could possibly imagine, if
we handle things right.
So you propose a treaty
with Queen Elizabeth
as a means to promote the new religion?
Amongst other things, yes.
♪
Very well.
Then prove it.
Have your king make a gesture
towards the Protestants.
I don't mean a speech
to a crowd of peasants
but an unmistakable gesture of respect
for the new religion.
Like what?
Oh, there's a church not far from here
with an effective preacher,
a young woman.
If the king were to visit her,
I would feel comfortable
to do as you ask.
How are we supposed
to get him to do that?
Now, I don't think that's my problem.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Matisse.
I'm late. I'm sorry.
You've been at that church
again, haven't you?
♪
You have a job, you know.
- I can find someone else.
- But you won't.
♪
Come with me, just once.
If you don't like it,
I'll never go again.
I promise.
♪
I'll think about it.
♪
[ANTOINE] Your Majesty,
this is a happy coincidence.
Is it?
Thought you hated riding.
So what diversion do my favorite cousins
have for me today?
Favorite cousins,
what a lovely thing to say.
[LOUIS] We could not help
but notice your unhappiness
at the Privy Council meeting.
[CHARLES] I must work
on my gambling face.
[ANTOINE] Your mother
means well, of course.
But she does have so much on her plate.
Hard to see the wood for the trees.
- What is it you want?
- [LOUIS] To help.
Word has spread about
how the people received you
on the grand tour.
They do adore you.
- [LOUIS] Yeah, they do.
- [ANTOINE] Mm.
They're afraid of your mother,
and of course,
that has its place, but
a people's love for their king
is a different matter.
It was quite a moment
for me, to be honest.
For the first time,
I felt like I might actually
be able to lead the people.
Well, of course.
And where would you
take them, Your Majesty?
How would you lead France?
When this period of tutorial
under my mother is over
and her policy of tolerance
has created a stable society,
I will govern a country that forges
many international treaties.
I believe this is the way of the future.
Interconnectedness, a web of alliances,
free trade, free movement of people.
No one will go to war because everyone
will suffer in war equally.
Hmm, I knew it, Antoine.
You truly are a visionary, Your Majesty.
[LOUIS] A seer.
And is it not time to begin?
All it requires is a gesture,
something that shows the people
you are not afraid of the new religion.
Something that shows Queen Elizabeth
you're not afraid.
Something that only the king can do.
What is it you have in mind?
Perhaps the king could attend
a Protestant service with us.
From what I understand,
there is one not far.
The preacher is popular, a woman.
A woman. Always plays well.
[LOUIS] Mm, word will spread.
The English will see you're serious
about a post-religious France,
ushering in a time
for peace and prosperity,
just as you said.
It's how history will remember you.
[LOUIS] Mm.
- Really?
- [LOUIS] Yeah.
[ANTOINE] Absolutely.
Then I will consider the matter.
♪
[ANTOINE] I was actually
quite moved by that.
He's a wanker, Antoine.
Really?
Yeah, a huge wanker.
You must be Thomas.
Yes, my lady.
Do you have what I asked for?
♪
Is this what you're after?
I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't
for my father being ill.
Your sense of duty moves me.
♪
He only wrote to help me
learn how to read.
But he writes so beautifully,
I couldn't bring myself
to get rid of them.
Until now.
[COINS JINGLE]
♪
You won't let anything bad
happen to him, will you?
Of course not.
I'm his mother.
♪
[DOOR SLAMS]
Hello, son.
Thought we might have a little talk.
I told you, Mother,
if you want to start a war,
do it yourself.
Oh, I don't think it will come to that.
You may recognize the writing.
Addressed to a young man named Thomas,
a billman in the army.
Sweet boy,
rather attractive.
In fact, I see the appeal.
Where did you get it?
He sold it to me.
Along with others, quite a few others.
I had no idea that you wrote so well.
It's so heartfelt and descriptive.
You must have really loved him
to be stupid enough
to put all that down on paper.
I mean, a quick fuck
on the field of battle
when faced with imminent death,
anyone can understand that.
But a man's profession of love
for another man,
your soldiers would never
take orders again.
When your back is turned,
they may do worse.
But I don't want you to worry.
I will ensure your men
never know of them.
♪
At a price?
♪
Naturally.
Do I need to say it?
♪
And I want you to know
that I don't judge your preferences.
In fact, I respect them, even envy them.
This whole reproduction thing, it
makes such a mess, don't you find?
And anyway, you are my son,
however God made you,
and you will make me proud.
♪
This I know.
♪
Is there anything else, Your Majesty?
No, you can go.
What are you looking at?
Shh.
[MONTMORENCY] I spoke to the king.
He knows you have
his best interest at heart.
For years, I thought
I was unable to conceive.
Turns out, that was the easy part.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[MONTMORENCY] I suppose it's possible
we make too much of parenting.
When all is said and done,
we all raise ourselves, don't we?
You certainly did.
What is it
with you and Edith?
When I found her, I was a drunk.
She prevented me from killing a man
that tried to sell her to me.
♪
The man was her father.
Now?
Now she's the closest to family I have.
♪
I failed to protect my children.
I failed to protect your husband.
I do not intend to fail again.
♪
If we're finished here,
I will leave you.
Or you could stay.
♪
So we might be a comfort to one another.
♪
See, in that moment,
I thought I could be truly happy.
♪
Checkmate.
♪
You beat me.
He beat me.
Apparently, your son has
inherited your luck, Antoine.
[HENRI] I don't believe in luck.
What do you believe in, then?
Preparation, calculation,
precision attack.
How intriguing.
Do you fancy a drink?
Can I?
Yeah.
Sure there's something we
can give you, isn't there, Louis?
Red or white?
I'm gonna get you pissed.
- [LOUIS] Yeah.
- Uh
The, uh, king is here.
[LOUIS] Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]
I've thought about your invitation
and have decided to join my
Protestant subjects in prayer tonight.
Wonderful news, Your Majesty.
History will remember you.
Perhaps, but for now, my mother
will know nothing about it.
Of course. Tancrede, prepare our horses.
[EDITH] "And when Jesus
saw the crowds,
"he went up on the mountainside
"and sat with them.
"His disciples came to him.
"He said, 'Blessed
are the poor in spirit,
"'for theirs
is the kingdom of heaven.
"'Blessed are those who mourn.
They will be comforted.
"'Blessed are the meek,
"'for they will inherit
the Earth.
"'Blessed are those who hunger
and thirst for righteousness.
"'They will be freed.
- Blessed are the merc '"
- [HORSES WHINNYING]
♪
[HORSES NEIGHING]
♪
Burn it down.
You're fucking kidding me.
♪
[EDITH]
"'Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.'"
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
"'Blessed are the pure in heart,
"'for they will see God.
"'Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called
children of God.'"
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
♪
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
[WINDOW SQUEAKS SHUT]
What is it?
It'll cost you.
["(I CAN'T GET NO)
SATISFACTION" PLAYING]
[KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR CLICKS OPEN]
♪
It's urgent.
What is it?
The king, Your Majesty.
♪
[CAT POWER]
When I'm driving in my car ♪
And a man come On the radio ♪
Ready my horse.
[CAT POWER] He's telling me
More and more ♪
About some useless
Information ♪
Trying to mess My imagination ♪
♪