The Wonder Years s02e01 Episode Script

As seventh grade wore on, I began to have nightmares.
I'm walking into a sort of aa cave.
A long dark tunnel.
I think Paul and Winnie are with me.
But thenthen they're not.
I'm all alone.
I don't even know why I' going into the cave I'm, I'm terrified.
But I just know that I have to keep going.
Deeper, and deeper.
So deep, that it's like I can't even remember what the daylight is like anymore, and suddenly.
I'm in 2nd period math class.
In pajamas.
With feet! I guess I was under a lot of stress.
There are a lot of things about junior high life that might seem simple to an outsider But they're not.
Take the 15 minutes before homeroom every morning.
What you do with those 15 minutes says pretty much everything there is to say about you as a human being.
If you were cool You had places to go, people to see.
And if you weren't Do you want to stand, or do you want to walk around? Wellwhat did we do yesterday? We walked around for awhile, and then we stood.
Well let's stand around for awhile, then we'll walk.
The crucial thing was not to let the conversation die.
Then you'd look like two guys with nothing to do.
- Hi, you guys! - Winnie.
Hi! Look Kevin, it's Winnie! It was Winnie, alright.
Winnie - who had dumped me, stomped on my heart, left me in the dust for a lousy eigth-grader named Kirk McCray, but I had my dignity.
I wouldn't let it show.
- Hi! - Hi! So did you have a good weekend? OK, now.
Be carefree, yet restrained.
Aloof, yet available at the drop of a hat.
Yeah, sure.
It was fine.
Goodgood Sodo you guys want to walk around? OK, steady, boy.
Steady! Where's Kirk? Don't you want to walk around with him? Ah, nice goin'.
Very smooth.
You guys are still my friends.
- Hey, Winnie! Hey, Winnie! Hey, Winnie! Come over here I think Kirk wants to tell you something! Winnie, come on! I think you better go over there, or she might pop a vein in her head or something.
We wouldn't want that to happen.
Yeah Well I guess I'll see you guys later! Yeah, later.
And that's when it hit me.
This thing was bigger than Kirk McCray.
Our Winnie was ascending like an angel into junior high heaven.
Our Winnie was becoming a "cool" kid.
- What did you get for number 1? No way.
Get outta here.
Come on, man.
Don't be such a wuss.
- Forget it.
Get outta here.
Don't worry about it.
The old bag can't even hear herself fart.
Get outta here, you jerk.
"Get outta here, jerk".
Gary Cosey.
You know the type.
The kind of guy, who at the tender age of twelve-and-a-half, looks like he shouldn't come out by day.
What did you get for number 1? What a joker.
This guy thought he was so cool, people would just be waiting in line to give him their answers.
X equals 7.
- See? Did he burst into flames? Hey, what can I say? It just seemed like the thing to do at the time.
And look, it happened once, ok.
Let's not make a huge deal out of it.
What did you get for 2? Y is greater than or equal to 14.
- Great minds think alike.
That's what I got.
Kevin.
Are you crazy? You're gonna get caught.
Paul, forget it.
Forget it? What do you mean, forget it? - Ritvo's gonna nail you.
She's not as stupid as she looks, you know.
Thank you, Mr.
Pfeiffer.
You're welcome? That night I had another nightmare.
I'm back in the cave.
I can't see a thing.
It's total blackness.
I take a step, and then suddenly, I'm falling! I try-I try to grab on to anything I can, but there's nothing there I just keep falling and falling, and then finally Math class again! Inmy underwear.
You know what it is? It's the contacts.
Ever since she got contacts, she thinks she's so cool.
- She's turned into a real snob.
You know when my mother took me to get contacts and I found out I was allergic to them? Well now I'm glad.
I'd much rather wear glasses and be a nice person than have contacts and be a snob.
I can't believe she thinks she's better than Paul! Who cares what she thinks? Yeah, who cared? So what if Winnie was making new friends.
We were making new friends too.
- Hey, man.
Can you do me a favor? Sure, what? Could you keep this in your locker till lunch? Um, sure.
No sweat! What is it? Hey, you're paranoid, man.
You know that? It's just some stuff I need for Friday night.
What's Friday night? You know, sometimes I just crash out in the woods all night.
Yeah? Yeah, my old lady is always hassling me.
Sometimes, you know, I just gotta get out.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
You do? Yeah.
My old lady's the same way.
Yeah? Hey, look if you guys want to come, then, that's cool.
- Yeah, sure! - No thanks.
Yeah, like my mother is just going to want me to sleep out in the woods.
Just tell her you're sleeping over at my house.
Don't be so paranoid, man.
A cheap trick! Turning a 12-year-old's sense of manhood against his sense of intelligence.
OK Cheap, but dependable.
Keep the change.
Come on, let's walk around for awhile? I could tell Paul was wondering why I wanted to do it why I was acting this way, why I even liked this guy.
Truth is, if he had asked me straight out, I wouldn't have been able to answer.
- Hi, you guys! Oh, hi.
The night before the camp out I had another dream.
I'm carrying Winnie through the cave.
She's in great pain I think her leg is broken.
I've got to get her to help! You gotta help us! It's her leg.
I think it's broken! Who's this Gary character? Just a kid at school.
Right, Paul? Yeah, just some kid from school.
- How do you know him? - From school.
He's in our math class.
Is he a good student? I think he got the same grade as I did on our last quiz.
Well, I think I better call his mother anyway and see Mom! Come on! We're going to be right behind his house.
And his mom is gonna be right there, the whole time! Here's the number.
Call her if you want.
What's the difference if you trust me or not.
Talk about a cheap trick! God, I hope my mother doesn't call your Mom.
She won't I hope your mother doesn't call Gary´s mother.
She won't.
- I hope Gary's mom doesn't call - Paul - Hey men, sorry I'm late.
I'd get some stuff.
No problem.
We brought some stuff too.
Great! What you got? A lot of good stuff.
Let's see.
Marshmallows, sandwich, Kool-AID I think the sticky is in here.
Got you.
- All I got is stick by kid, too.
Just in case I can't see it's coming up to me put you guys up a little! Alright.
I'd been into this so far, but this was getting ridiculous.
I mean, what did this kid plan to do? Smoke nine-hundred cigarettes in three hours? If he thought it made him look tough or something, he was mistaken.
I mean, smoking cigarettes just proved you're stupid.
It was pathetic.
Got an extra butt? It relaxes me! No, thanks.
I don't smoke.
You can start on a brew, Pfeiffer.
Unless you'd rather have Kool-AID.
I couldn't believe it.
A can of beer? A 16-ounce can of beer? This thing was going to far! Thank God Paul at least had a level head! Go on Paul,just say it.
Just say "no".
Just say "no".
Just say "no"! Well, let's face it.
Kids in those days were not as smart as kids of today.
God, I love to party.
I could party twenty-four hours a day, man.
Yeah, me too, man.
Remember Peter and Annie? They go to Central.
- Yeah! - Sure! I usually party with them.
My girlfriend goes to Central, too.
She's got honkers out to here, man.
Whoa You guys goin' out with anybody? Nah.
Not right now.
I used to be going out with this girl, Winnie Cooper.
We broke up.
Whoa! Yeah, Winnie.
She's pretty cute, a little flat, but cute.
Kevin likes 'em flat.
Gimme a butt, man! - I thought you didn't smoke.
- Only when I drink! Yeah, well Carly Healy's no Raquel Welch, Paul.
- She's got a handful! - Yeah, like you'll ever know.
You can't go out with one girl for too long.
Before you know it, they like, want you to walk them in the hall.
Everyday, and stuff.
- Yeah, I know it.
- Yeah! I was starting to feel a little better about this whole Winnie Cooper thing.
Hell, she was flat! And I'd be damned if I was gonna walk with her every day.
Give me another hit.
What? What, man? I I don't know.
Let's go do something.
- Like what? - I don't care.
Anything! I know.
About a quarter-mile from here, there's a cave.
It's really cool.
Did he say A cave? I couldn't believe it.
It was just like my dream.
I wanted to stop, but something kept propelling me forward.
Beneath my placid innocent suburban world lurked a subterranean land of nightmare.
And I was about to enter.
OK, that was fun.
Let's go back.
What are you talking about, man? That's not a cave.
That's a sewer.
I'm not going in a sewer.
It's not a sewer.
It's a storm drain.
Come on, Kevin.
Don't be paranoid, man! My god, I'd created a monster.
You know what is call when you explore a cave.
What? You know what is call when you explore a cave.
What? - Hey, Hey guys, you know what - What? Is a ??? Say it! Don´t spray it.
Is a ??? I think I like Paul better before he became such a fun guy.
OK! This is it.
Isn't this cool? Wow, man, this is great! - This pipe comes all the way from Crestview shopping center.
You can crawl in there, and you'll end up right behind Sears.
Cool! This one comes from over by the rec center, near where the mens' room is.
Wow! I know I was impressed.
And this one, nobody knows where this one goes.
I thought I heard something.
There was a guy once, went into that pipe to try to find out where it went he never came out.
They say he starved to death.
And then there was this big storm, and the whole thing flooded, and he drowned.
They didn't find him till six months later.
OK, now I was really scared.
And like any 12-year old boy who's trying not to show he's scared, I got argumentative.
Wait a minute.
Which one was it? Did he starve to death, or did he drown? - Both! - You can't do both.
- It's either one or the other.
- How do you know?! Because it doesn't make any sense! I mean, he can get really, really hungry, and then drown or he can starve to death, but he can't drown 'cause he'd be already dead.
Hey man, look.
I knew the guy.
He was a friend of mine's cousin.
That means he can die twice?! All I knowthey just found parts of him.
The rats ate the rest.
Unless there's still parts of him in there.
Let's get out of here! Hey, you're the one that wanted to come in here in the first place.
That's before I knew there were dead body parts.
I heard it again.
Listen! Shut up, Gary.
Come on, guys, stop! Stop it! Come on guys, stop! Oooooh, I'm dying.
Oooooh, help me Oooooh, I'm dying! I'm not kidding, Gary, knock it off! - Shut up Gary.
- Cut it out.
- Oooooh, I'm dying! - Shut up! Stop it, Gary! Stop it! Shut up! - Ow! My leg! - Paul, you OK? - Stop it! Stop it! Shut up, you jerk! God, I can't believe you guys! You're really scared? Aw, what's the matter, Pfeiffer, are you crying? God, I can't believe you're crying! You're a real jackass, you know that! "Ooooh! I'm dying Ooooh!" Shut up! Just shut the hell up! "Ooooh! I'm dying Ooooh!" "Ooooh! I'm dying Ooooh!" Hey! Hey, where you guys are going? Hey, come on, I was just kidding.
When I look back on it now, I feel sorry for Gary.
When all was said and done, he was just a little kid, and I guess he needed friends.
But all Paul and I knew that night was that we wanted to go home.
Kevin! What are you doing here? Did something happen? Are you OK? Yeah, we're fine.
We just felt like coming home.
It was the truth.
But not the whole truth.
And looking at my mom and my dad standing there in their bathrobes, worried about me.
I felt a little sick about that.
Well, come on in! It's cold out there.
Honey, you should have called us.
We would have come to pick you up.
Paul, are you limping? - It look´s to me that you are limping.
I don't know why, but that night for the first time in a long time I didn't have a single nightmare.
- That's orange! - No, it's not, it's red.
Look at the Orlando Cepeda, they're both the same.
No way, but that's like practically maroon! But it's the same team.
- Hi, you guys.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Are you guys mad at me? What do you mean? Well, yesterday in the hall You just looked like you were mad at me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Me neither.
OK.
Forget it.
Hey, Winnie! How come you're wearing your glasses? Huh? How come you're wearing your glasses? Oh, I lost one of my contacts.
I look so stupid in these things.
No you don't.
You look good.
I'm serious! You look much smarter.
In fact, Paul and I were just saying the other day how dumb you look in contacts.
Weren't we, Paul? Oh, yeah.
Tell me about it.
- No, really! I'm surprised the teachers don't start grading you down just because you look dumb.
Oh, you're one to talk! Hey, I'm just being honest.
I would not lie about a this.
Would I lie about this, Paul? I've known him for twelve years and he would not lie about this.
You definitely look stupid in contacts.
You guys! Who's gonna tell you these things, if not your friends? We're just being honest! Taurusmind